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|So here I am - I am ready to be a Carl: WHY CARLETON ?
Undergraduateinkhk - Dec 14, 2012 / rew2402 - Dec 16, 2012
|Being a devote Justin Bieber fan! NYU supplement
8 - Ok. Thanks everyone for the advice. Ill cut him out of it. And what kind of criticisms should I...
UndergraduateBelievefm - Dec 13, 2012 / Believefm - Dec 16, 2012
|"A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies" ; University of Chicago
6 - A question to ALL: Can I write a fiction piece on this prompt? I was planning on talking about...
Undergraduatetimeywimey - Dec 9, 2012 / azmain1234 - Dec 16, 2012
|My common app essay about my life - The Journey with two Omers
2 - overall the idea is good, but grammar needs a little bit of tweaking. your description of two omers is...
Undergraduateputnam7 - Dec 15, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 16, 2012
|Columbia Supplement #1 - meaningful books, publications or cultural events
2 - I think you spend a little too long talking about the content of the book instead of what you...
Undergraduaterooks815 - Dec 16, 2012 / bellem1 - Dec 16, 2012
|Common app essay-The value of education Stanford Supplement #3- What I learned matter
2 - My mentor always told me that details were what made an essay come to life for the readers, so...
Undergraduatesahir13 - Dec 16, 2012 / jingzhao - Dec 16, 2012
|"I want to make homes, not houses, homes" ; FIT application
Undergraduateebm3215 - Dec 15, 2012 / hanksze - Dec 16, 2012
|MIT Essay: The world you come from
3 - Hello a Sun Wukong fever, I think you should go stright to the main idea, the first papagraph...
Undergraduatell931110 - Dec 16, 2012 / YanSun - Dec 16, 2012
|Princeton Summer - I participated in volunteer trips to the asylums in the city
Undergraduatejingzhao - Dec 15, 2012 / jingzhao - Dec 15, 2012
|Occidental Supplements (Why?/Interests/Idiosyncrasy)
3 - oh oops... haha i didn't see your feedback until just now. it was actually due a couple days after...
Undergraduatejosephuong - Nov 13, 2012 / josephuong - Dec 15, 2012
|As a first generation on college student you learn the importance of education
2 - You should also talk about the challenges you faced during school, like getting thru your four years of highschool....
Undergraduatefatoucisse - Dec 15, 2012 / StephR - Dec 15, 2012
|Penn "Engage Academically"- Engineering (Computer Science)
10 - thank you! i will definitely get around to reading yours! specifically, are there any particularly weak parts that I...
Undergraduatebigpapi - Dec 6, 2012 / bigpapi - Dec 15, 2012
|Illinois ESSAY PROMPT#2: One for all, All for one
Undergraduatevadalis - Dec 15, 2012 / averyk - Dec 15, 2012
|Looking Differently- Write about your passion ESSAY
2 - it's a good essay :) You could change the word 'see-able' to maybe 'visible'? and there are a couple...
Undergraduatepaulazh - Dec 15, 2012 / vadalis - Dec 15, 2012
|That day was not just an accomplishment
3 - The overall essay is written well. but maybe you could add how much it actually scares you? I could...
Undergraduatejmonte - Dec 15, 2012 / vadalis - Dec 15, 2012
|I had worked in a physician's office since I graduated high school / Common App.
2 - I think it would be more interesting if you described a specific experience and then elaborated on the effect...
Undergraduatefoxyh - Dec 15, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012
|'Christianity and alcohol' - Brave New World - Columbia Supplement
3 - Try including the full prompt so advice can be more specific. Your essay, judging from your thread title, is...
Undergraduatemzontario - Dec 10, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012
|I had adventure first,explanations?Later / Common App
4 - Great editing by petemess95! Now it reads much better! As petmess95 suggests, you should tell them what this program...
Undergraduaterossy - Dec 15, 2012 / dumi - Dec 15, 2012
|a minor in Japanese. arigato gozaimasu !
5 - THANK YOU.....
Undergraduatesharey125 - Nov 27, 2012 / sharey125 - Dec 15, 2012
|Lions village motherless babies home; Essay 2
5 - Is this better? About a year ago, some friends and I visited "Lions village motherless babies home," an...
UndergraduateSadeAjayi - Dec 12, 2012 / SadeAjayi - Dec 15, 2012
|How Cornell helps me with my academic interests; Cornell supplement (Engineering)
3 - "reading teachers face puts up their attendances" Simply hints at the use of facial recognition. "artificial intelligence" LOL,...
Undergraduateshaileshgupta94 - Dec 11, 2012 / coollog - Dec 15, 2012
|Hot, mucky, and grimy; Common App short Essay Comments
5 - Really good!...
Undergraduateeagles94 - Dec 15, 2012 / averyk - Dec 15, 2012
|I want to use my life to advocate for those in need; NYU
4 - My final essay that needs help, what intrigues you? (58 available characters) June 17th, 2012 marks one of...
Undergraduatekk081595 - Dec 15, 2012 / kk081595 - Dec 15, 2012
|I have always been a good artist, well relatively; SOP for the SAIC
Undergraduaterainbowsweat - Dec 9, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012
|How do I hope to have changed- application essay !
3 - petemess95 Thank you so much ! :))) I really appreciate it . I tried to correct the parts you...
Undergraduatepaulazh - Dec 14, 2012 / paulazh - Dec 15, 2012
|Simplest things are often the Catalysts of Development;Intellectual Vitality-Stanford
4 - ok so I changed it up a bit: Every Friday, my youth group helps out around the community; one...
Undergraduatenairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012
|I'm fairly clumsy; Letter to a Future Roommate for Stanford
4 - thanks guys :) i deleted and i cut that sentence with nannaa batman, just 36 characters left!...
Undergraduatenairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012
|Consequences from the Neolithic Agricultural Revolution
2 - There are multiple consequences from the Neolithic Agricultural Revolution. It was a major time period in the world and...
UndergraduateMaddyrk - Dec 13, 2012 / Enigmaticguitar - Dec 15, 2012
|I belong to the gallant men of the world who move; UPENN's suplemental essay
4 - Nicely done! Including that part about the innovative heating method is very good. try to use a...
UndergraduateQUANSAH2 - Dec 15, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012
|May 24, 2012, my whole life changed; My Personal Statement
Undergraduatephilo138 - Dec 13, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 15, 2012
|"I gaze at the sunset with the woman I love and think, F8 at 1/2"; personal stateme
Undergraduateinkhk - Dec 3, 2012 / inkhk - Dec 15, 2012
|All I did was play basketball; Common Application Essay #1
2 - Sopanhatun I think your idea is good. You have explained well that how basket ball has helped you learn...
Undergraduatesopanhatun - Dec 15, 2012 / AryanK - Dec 15, 2012
|CHOOSE AN ISSUE OF IMPORTANCE TO YOU: Building a Recreational Facility
Undergraduatezmixdbreed - Dec 11, 2012 / vadalis - Dec 15, 2012
|The underdog doesn't only win in fictional feel-good teen movies, sometimes it happens in real life
Undergraduateanservis - Dec 12, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 15, 2012
|My Volunteer Experience ; feeding the hungry at a church /Common App
3 - i think it is very genuine. i like your writing and it conveys the emotions you have. very well...
UndergraduateElizabeth934 - Dec 14, 2012 / zdv - Dec 15, 2012
|Boston University represents everything about this great city - WHY BOSTON? /Supp
Undergraduatejohnlacoste - Dec 14, 2012 / Prafull - Dec 15, 2012
|"Instead of being the second someone, I want want to be the first me"; NYU Supp
3 - Thanks!...
Undergraduateeng_geek - Dec 12, 2012 / eng_geek - Dec 14, 2012
|college is the key to a successful future; Common App/Transfer Essay
5 - This is very very good. Well done! I think that your writing, structure, and grammar look great, and you...
Undergraduatebreithx1 - Dec 12, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 14, 2012
|Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: Personal Statement
Undergraduatedangodango404 - Dec 13, 2012 / dangodango404 - Dec 14, 2012
|Corrupt government officials & Power crazy politicians; Columbia Application
6 - i like the idea of starting with how i never took any politics related subjects. in fact, until a...
Undergraduatethespoonguy - Dec 14, 2012 / thespoonguy - Dec 14, 2012
|was running for the president : EXPERIENCE-IMPACT ESSAY
3 - Thanks dude but which one do u think i should use to apply for universities? the first one(my another...
Undergraduatetpr2012 - Dec 14, 2012 / tpr2012 - Dec 14, 2012
|Common App Activities Essay - Advice and Proofreading
6 - cut down on describing whats happening and write about why you like dong it or why this is so...
UndergraduateKevin2013 - Dec 13, 2012 / zdv - Dec 14, 2012
|It's true, though, me being "unfocused"; Stanford (Intellectual Vitality Essay)
4 - I'm assuming you don't plan on leaving the last line there. But I love your style of writing. It...
Undergraduateourheaven - Dec 9, 2012 / thespoonguy - Dec 14, 2012
|I signed with Intellect Club; extracurricular activitieswork
4 - Remember that all the days of the week should actually start with a capital letter. Same goes for...
Undergraduateakhabareli - Dec 13, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 14, 2012
|Mariam's Changes - change is a force that goes beyond our reach and is inevitable
Undergraduatebemdam - Dec 13, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 14, 2012
|CONDENSING ESSAY TO 500 WORDS - becoming a nurse
Undergraduateomegakib - Dec 14, 2012 / ththnho_tl - Dec 14, 2012
|Why can't I have my own choice? ; My personal Statement
Undergraduatelucy123 - Dec 14, 2012 / lucy123 - Dec 14, 2012
|Columbia helps find a balance in life; NYU
Undergraduatemzontario - Dec 13, 2012 / Kevin2013 - Dec 14, 2012
|My job as a volunteer sound technician; RPI Common App
2 - Are the sound levels mixed correctly? Did I didn't remember I remember to if I changed the computer...
UndergraduateWillyD - Dec 13, 2012 / ththnho_tl - Dec 13, 2012
|Pharmacy Schools CommonApp Essay Intro - influence; my stillborn brother
Undergraduateaveryk - Dec 13, 2012 / averyk - Dec 13, 2012
|Trekking; Common App Activity
2 - This is good except I have no idea what you're talking about. Camping trip? Cadets? Hunger Games? ...
Undergraduatejaxball - Dec 13, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 13, 2012
|'the stigma of being gay' - B for UT is a little TOO personal?
11 - The overall essay is good :) the topic is really touching and personal. But your writing style seems very...
Undergraduatebritttt4 - Nov 12, 2012 / vadalis - Dec 13, 2012
|Governor's School of Engineering: Extracurricular Activity or Interest. "The Robo-T-Birds"
2 - Now, just what was I doing eating Italian food in a claustrophobic workshop? Now, what was I doing...
UndergraduateEpsilonDelta - Dec 13, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 13, 2012
|I was amazed at all Barnard could offer!
Undergraduatepussypussy - Dec 13, 2012 / msnjck - Dec 13, 2012
|The United States of America is a melting pot for these people; Essay on Americanism!
NEW - According to the dictionary Americanism means "a custom, linguistic usage, or other feature peculiar to or characteristic of the...
Undergraduatemsnjck - Dec 13, 2012 / — -
|My priorities had always been related to owning luxuries, rather that excelling at my
6 - i agree with the previous comments. awkward sentences at times. i also think you should go deeper. i mean...
Undergraduatedpmg94 - Dec 13, 2012 / zdv - Dec 13, 2012
|'Captain Mac' - Common App Influential Person Topic
5 - very well written. although i couldnt understand the topic (i have no idea what rlo is), i could relate....
UndergraduateScorch - Dec 13, 2012 / zdv - Dec 13, 2012
|Why I Want to be a Pediatric Nurse: College addmision Essay
4 - I mean make smooth connections betweent the paragraphs, because I felt that the 2005 part was kind of abrupt...
Undergraduatecarina1994 - Dec 13, 2012 / qasderwdw - Dec 13, 2012
|Nigeria needs to go with the flow of the tide:Illinois Urbana Champaign essay
UndergraduateSadeAjayi - Dec 8, 2012 / Simon0228 - Dec 13, 2012
|Common App Essay- The Influence of Sherlock Holmes
6 - I think overall it's a good essay. Interesting start. The users before me have done a good job with...
Undergraduatemhaque96 - Dec 9, 2012 / timeywimey - Dec 13, 2012
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