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|'World around my little brother' - Stanford-what matters to you, and why?
17 - just a small note: you might want to change tenses a bit... it might look like as your brother...
Undergraduatemashal - Nov 6, 2012 / dwangus - Dec 1, 2012
|'Everything interests me' - Cornell College of Arts and Sciences Supplement
3 - your essay is really good. I like how you started, but what EXACTLY does the Cornell prompt ask?...
Undergraduateailujg - Nov 23, 2012 / mideayyy - Dec 1, 2012
|'Siblings in Mexico' - Someone that has impacted my life
2 - a lot of grammatical errors. would suggest proofreading it a few times. the essay is mostly about your father...
Undergraduatewhs5204 - Dec 1, 2012 / zdv - Dec 1, 2012
|NYU Personal Essay -Person with significant influence; Mother -she is stronger than anyone
Undergraduatecourtknee - Nov 30, 2012 / courtknee - Dec 1, 2012
|Common App Essay on the importance of diversity; It was hard to recall any of their names
UndergraduateJamal5678 - Dec 1, 2012 / Jamal5678 - Dec 1, 2012
|How buildings influenced my thinking - UT architecture application
2 - I can tell you truly have a passion for architecture, however, I think your essay would sound more developed...
Undergraduatenatpradere - Dec 1, 2012 / appstudent1 - Dec 1, 2012
|'different Hispanic cultures' - Discuss your short and long-term goals.
UndergraduateBryangg - Nov 20, 2012 / Bryangg - Dec 1, 2012
|Common App - Signifant Influence of a person - Lost Child
UndergraduateEustace - Nov 30, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 1, 2012
|"Your Future Roommate is Minnesotan"-Sanford Roommate Essay
Undergraduateama101 - Nov 25, 2012 / exo101 - Dec 1, 2012
|'finding people like her' - Why Tufts?
6 - You should definitely talk about specific programs at Tufts to show why you really want to go there because...
Undergraduatebellem1 - Nov 25, 2012 / exo101 - Dec 1, 2012
|UC Prompt one- My grandfather; Describe the world you come from
4 - Hello Keroro! I think you did pretty well!! To make the essay better, you may add more things to...
Undergraduatekeroro - Nov 29, 2012 / luying9682 - Dec 1, 2012
|Common Application - significant experience, Chance
8 - I do have a very clear reason (and probably stronger than many other's) for wanting to do medicine...
Undergraduatekasi_mana - Nov 30, 2012 / kasi_mana - Dec 1, 2012
|Honored on becoming a BU Terrier - BU supplement
Undergraduatevalfernandez94 - Nov 30, 2012 / dumi - Dec 1, 2012
|Ex Offender Admissions Essay
2 - Well... first you need to have a clear mind about why you need to get into school again. Think...
Undergraduatepamalaraya - Nov 29, 2012 / dumi - Dec 1, 2012
|Common App-Evaluate a significant experience; Your husband has been arrested by the police
Undergraduatehvnguyen1311 - Nov 29, 2012 / dumi - Dec 1, 2012
|Personal Statement: Job That Changed Me; Italian restaurant, kitchen
3 - Your imagery is superb and all but just like everyone keeps saying, show more of how it really changed...
Undergraduatekc2vwx - Nov 30, 2012 / askelliott - Dec 1, 2012
|Experience essey - U Wash Appl; my parents restaurant/ involvement with volunteering
Undergraduatecourtknee - Nov 30, 2012 / askelliott - Dec 1, 2012
|"Explain how you responded to a significant challenge" UBC Application; amount of EFFORT
UndergraduateNarutoUzu1 - Nov 30, 2012 / courtknee - Dec 1, 2012
|"The man on the portrait" Brave and chivalrous, he never missed an opportunity to pick a..
Undergraduatemarcelo55 - Nov 30, 2012 / bimzy - Nov 30, 2012
|My Friend, the most significant person in my life
UndergraduateAshley5789 - Nov 30, 2012 / dumi - Nov 30, 2012
|Colorado application essay; international student, both on paper and at heart
Undergraduateamahrlee - Nov 30, 2012 / Pahan - Nov 30, 2012
|Two words that describes my community is a bubble and exclusive: RU Supplement Essay
3 - I think you should find some synonyms or other ways to say 'realized' and use them to switch it...
Undergraduateeriicax3x3 - Nov 30, 2012 / appstudent1 - Nov 30, 2012
|UC prompt 2- "Relationship led to patience"
5 - OH. so youre in taiwan right now? the international school in taipei? I didn't know what those abbreviations stand...
Undergraduatekelly303022 - Nov 28, 2012 / kelly303022 - Nov 30, 2012
|UC APP: PROMPT 1 Describe the world you come from; "The Pearl of the East"
2 - You're done a great job! ^^ I enjoyed reading your writing. They kept my attention, very emotional and hightly...
Undergraduatebigchau - Nov 30, 2012 / Salikron - Nov 30, 2012
|My family's struggle with Immigration - A&M Essay Topic B
Undergraduatemikiibee - Nov 30, 2012 / dumi - Nov 30, 2012
|cross-cultural differences in pictorial metaphor in advertisements:Iran and western
Undergraduateshakiba - Nov 30, 2012 / ah_zafari - Nov 30, 2012
|The world you come from; opportunity to raise a child with an intellectual disability
4 - There are some issues with punctuation. The bolded part is makes the sentence sound a little awkward....
Undergraduatetstanyavg - Nov 30, 2012 / courtknee - Nov 30, 2012
|Following my role model; UC/ World I come from
2 - The prompt asked you to write about the world that you come from. it means that you should talk...
UndergraduateRyan_the_Lion67 - Nov 30, 2012 / ah_zafari - Nov 30, 2012
|UC essay "fitting in" - 'I was lost in the crowd'
Undergraduatetrennty_09 - Nov 26, 2012 / bigchau - Nov 30, 2012
|"Crossing the Boundry of Cutures" - Rutgers Prompt
3 - I really enjoyed reading your essay. However, would it be wise to use many questions in your essay? Maybe...
UndergraduateCynessie - Nov 18, 2012 / eriicax3x3 - Nov 30, 2012
|'A Nokia cell phone' - UC PROMPT 1
2 - My enthusiasm for technology with not always the most popular growing up. - I think this should be "was"...
Undergraduatemitters - Nov 30, 2012 / ellehcim - Nov 30, 2012
|Macy's Parade - UC Prompt
NEW - I'm looking for last-minute corrections on my second UC essay. Any help at all is greatly appreciated! Thank you....
Undergraduateellehcim - Nov 30, 2012 / — -
|College Essay on influential Person: My Twin
4 - thanks for your input! i really appreciate it, maybe i will talk that out... but i feel like its...
UndergraduateJlizzxo - Nov 29, 2012 / Jlizzxo - Nov 30, 2012
|Stanford short essay #1 The Road NOT Taken
4 - Sounds a bit repetitive. Try deleting phrases that repeat overemphasized ideas and give examples of what you did to...
Undergraduatemonica52310 - Nov 21, 2012 / carlosdave - Nov 30, 2012
|Describe the world you come from; UC promps - (subjects volleyball and computers)
UndergraduateBroese - Nov 30, 2012 / Broese - Nov 30, 2012
|Lab Coats and Isopropyl Alcohol - UC Transfer Application Essay
2 - Impressive!!! The story line is superb. Your essay is bound to stand out amongst that of your peers. Except...
Undergraduateradee123 - Nov 30, 2012 / jiva - Nov 30, 2012
|Bully @Ambush Corner; UT Austin/Issue of Importance
UndergraduateBlastofftomars1 - Nov 29, 2012 / dumi - Nov 30, 2012
|Common App essay: From supervisor to "dad", from unknown child to "son"
Undergraduateionelazait - Nov 30, 2012 / dumi - Nov 30, 2012
|I roam the plains of the panhandle state with my bison friends; Stanford-Roommate
UndergraduateDeIighTs - Nov 30, 2012 / admission2012 - Nov 30, 2012
|'career in videography' - Why Did You Choose Your major? (Supplement Paragraph)
3 - I've chosen to pursue a career in V ideography, because I prefer to see the world through a viewfinder....
UndergraduateSalisburya22 - Nov 28, 2012 / ah_zafari - Nov 30, 2012
|UC APP - personal; 'breaststroke swimmer'
Undergraduatebigchau - Nov 30, 2012 / dumi - Nov 30, 2012
|My parents' sacrifices - University of Washington Short Response Essay
Undergraduaterugi546 - Nov 29, 2012 / Pahan - Nov 30, 2012
|MELIORA essay of Rochester. Meliora: ''Ever better'' - The University's motto
5 - Many Many Many Many... Thanks for the editing. I was so busy with other work that I couldn't visit...
Undergraduatemoon05 - Nov 27, 2012 / moon05 - Nov 30, 2012
|'together like a huge family' - Admissions ubc
6 - Okkkkkkkkkk.... I'll do it for you : ) But, before doing that I want to highlight a few grammar...
Undergraduatehonghanh763 - Nov 26, 2012 / dumi - Nov 30, 2012
|UC prompt . A illness body and an empathy attitude
2 - This is might make it sound better. Naturally, one of the twin babies would certainly have a birth...
UndergraduateFortuitousMW - Nov 30, 2012 / Pahan - Nov 30, 2012
|'Section A students' - UC Prompt 2 personal statement
4 - Overall i think your essay is really nice, there are really strong points like "My ambitious personality fueled my...
Undergraduatetcapistrano1020 - Nov 22, 2012 / radee123 - Nov 30, 2012
|UC application prompt; personal statement: you come from - My hometown is Taiwan
7 - I finished my application process already, but I still want some feedbacks on this one. So that I can...
UndergraduateFortuitousMW - Nov 28, 2012 / FortuitousMW - Nov 30, 2012
|UC Personal Statement 2 - Overcoming Depression - 'It was the last week of school'
Undergraduatemrkrishan - Nov 29, 2012 / mrkrishan - Nov 30, 2012
|Why I want to go To boston University undergraduate supplemental essay by Keyla rosa
UndergraduateKeylaRosa - Nov 29, 2012 / Phoebe Africa - Nov 30, 2012
|'Moving to the States, enrolling to collage, and realizing goals' - COMMON APP Essay
3 - I started helping friends to install internet networks, from the external antenna to the receiver, installingsetting up(coz u used...
UndergraduateIsl91 - Nov 22, 2012 / Dearcollege2013 - Nov 30, 2012
|UC Prompt - "Skateboarding and Perseverance"
Undergraduatekmoses - Nov 30, 2012 / kmoses - Nov 30, 2012
|'Being abroad on my own' -The life changing experience - Common App Short
Undergraduatecia3194 - Nov 26, 2012 / cia3194 - Nov 30, 2012
|Emerson College Supplement "Title Your Life"
3 - You can improve your diction, here and there. There are parts of the essay where your wording can sound...
UndergraduateThunderAndRain - Nov 28, 2012 / Phoebe Africa - Nov 30, 2012
|UC Personal statement; I come from an "stereotypical" Asian family
UndergraduateJZL159 - Nov 28, 2012 / Dearcollege2013 - Nov 30, 2012
|'sports analytics' - UC Prompt 1 "My World"
8 - I like the Idea but try to show things by providing specific examples rather than just telling things about...
Undergraduate503dannyk - Nov 27, 2012 / Broese - Nov 30, 2012
|UC Personal Statement Prompt 1 - Transfer Student "How I got into psychology"
5 - Thanks for the advice shirley! I'll update it tomorrow morning, now I'm focusing on prompt 2 edits and I'm...
Undergraduatemrkrishan - Nov 28, 2012 / mrkrishan - Nov 30, 2012
|Prompt of UC - Marching Band in my life.
UndergraduateJcubed - Nov 29, 2012 / mrkrishan - Nov 30, 2012
|'Admiring my fellow actors' - University of Washington Prompt 1
3 - thanks!...
Undergraduatesimibug13 - Nov 27, 2012 / simibug13 - Nov 29, 2012
|Influential person - 'About my sister, Kennedy' - CU Essay Prompt 2
4 - thanks guys. i decided to completely rewrite it. please give me some feedback! Ever since we were kids,...
Undergraduatesimibug13 - Nov 24, 2012 / simibug13 - Nov 29, 2012
|'No Short cuts'- apply Texas topic B; downfall of Lance Armstrong
4 - Providing the writing prompt may make it easier to help! I liked the story and enjoyed the meaning...
Undergraduateljy9152 - Nov 14, 2012 / bhos - Nov 29, 2012
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