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|UC Prompt #2: Finding My Inner Tough; I raised over three thousand dollars by teaching
NEW - Please be very critical and tell me if there are any awkward wording. Thanks! Prompt: "Tell us about a...
Undergraduatemypfantom - Nov 28, 2012 / — -
|UC prompt 1: Girl Gamer in Chinese Society
9 - Haha loved the Welcome to Summoner's Rift I haven't been able to LoL at all busting my ass off...
Undergraduateshirley127 - Nov 26, 2012 / mrkrishan - Nov 28, 2012
|Common App Essay: The Significant Person - Game (Jayceon Terrell Taylor) hip-hop star
Undergraduatejustlerik - Nov 28, 2012 / delegate - Nov 28, 2012
|I was only 15; U of Pitt - Significant experience
Undergraduatedanoc93 - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|personal essey; For my whole life, I could never pick one place to call my home
Undergraduatercbeducation - Nov 28, 2012 / mzontario - Nov 28, 2012
|"MY ART" - My Greatest achievement in life has been my greatest failures throughtout life
2 - Hi, AlisonHarr9, I think the best part of your essay is that you clearly describe the "painting" event. That...
UndergraduateAlisonHarr9 - Nov 23, 2012 / FortuitousMW - Nov 28, 2012
|UC Prompt; Working as an L.I.T. has helped me "give back" to the community
2 - This sounds a bit awkward,.... the part ''family, school or community'' doesn't make much sense : ( .......
UndergraduateYOPAG - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|"The prophecy came true"- UC transfer template
2 - That is something really novel. I'm from Romania too but I have never thought of emphasizing such an aspect...
Undergraduateclemy - Nov 25, 2012 / alexhirsu - Nov 28, 2012
|Rubik Essay - self-development workshops common app essays
Undergraduatealexhirsu - Nov 27, 2012 / alexhirsu - Nov 28, 2012
|"Do you really want to end up like us?"; University of Washington- Personal Statement
4 - Alright what's your thread? ... Make sure you post the prompt so that I can align my feed back...
Undergraduateebailon - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|Topic C essay? 'I received a 98' Missing my intro/conclusion.
2 - I devoted myself to something school-related was when I took Calculus AP-AB thise sentence is kinda awkward if you...
Undergraduatebren21096 - Nov 28, 2012 / programmer - Nov 28, 2012
|Not the most supportive father - UC prompt #1
2 - Hello, Moreno18 Your essay is really good, it shows your uniqueness and motivation. Still, I believe you should say...
UndergraduateMoreno18 - Nov 28, 2012 / justlerik - Nov 28, 2012
|'Improving students communication skills' - Common App essay
2 - Hello, nhn Basically I liked your essay however I don't think you answered the question correctly. The promt is...
Undergraduatenhn - Nov 28, 2012 / justlerik - Nov 28, 2012
|UC Prompt 2 - The Great Wall
2 - Hi, I have a doubt whether you had adequately dealt with the above prompt... Nothing much comes...
Undergraduatejrc27 - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|The sadness Lisa's death gave to me - common app
UndergraduateCycLoNe94 - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|Every child is preprogrammed ; UC/Describe the world you come from
Undergraduatelovepova - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|'pleasantly unsure exactly who I am' - Stanford what matters to you?
3 - One question...is this long enough for a statement of purpose? Nice and to the point. It also showed...
Undergraduate4m4jordan4m4 - Nov 27, 2012 / busybee - Nov 28, 2012
|'RU-MSA, AMSA, and SOMA' - Rutgers Admission Application
Undergraduateshahrukhsyed - Nov 7, 2012 / mnkumar1984 - Nov 28, 2012
|One cannot tell by simply looking at a human's face; Expression of deciption
2 - You have written a lengthy response to this prompt! Are you within the word count or exceeded it? ...
UndergraduateBlastofftomars1 - Nov 26, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|'born into a low-income family' - UC first promt your world
UndergraduateEmile786 - Nov 20, 2012 / Emile786 - Nov 28, 2012
|I Am Those Saxophones - Music has made a significant impact on my life
2 - How about; pushing through burdening issues calmly, but successfully. ? small typo :D Quite creative...
Undergraduatearaykoitskevdo - Nov 28, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|UC #2: My passion for environmental awareness.
5 - Great essay, but a bit too informational. You should elaborate more on your character. Like others said, the essay...
Undergraduatesushiwrap - Nov 23, 2012 / sdelicana - Nov 28, 2012
|'the Philippines during summer break' - UC Prompt about my grandfather
6 - Very emotional and quite well-written, but I do agree with what others are saying. Sob stories about people who...
Undergraduatealeckdanielle - Nov 27, 2012 / sdelicana - Nov 28, 2012
|Hey there Aunt Kay! UT Austin Prompt A
2 - Hi, Interesting! ... impressive start! So, you want to cut down words.... It's better you tell...
Undergraduatejesus4me - Nov 28, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|UC Prompt 2 "Computer problems" The lights hummed above as I stared at the jumble of wires
7 - Is there anything I can add? I revised my essay, and it's only around 400 words. My other essay...
Undergraduateshirley127 - Nov 25, 2012 / shirley127 - Nov 28, 2012
|Why computer science is my intended major- UC transfer personal statement
Undergraduatestepup2stepout - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|holla at yo gurl. second UC prompt.
Undergraduatericejillian5 - Nov 28, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|UC: Rebuilding the Broken; I have always dreamt of learning how to play an instrument
2 - In my opinion, you should remove the paragraph about football. Also it would be nice to know what "pains...
UndergraduateDonesaur - Nov 28, 2012 / Moreno18 - Nov 28, 2012
|UC APPLICATION "Saudi Arabia"; personal talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience
2 - It is good and very descriptive. I would suggest however, that you talk more about who your are and...
UndergraduateTaylor8294 - Nov 25, 2012 / Moreno18 - Nov 28, 2012
|UC --Cross Country Mayhem and Major Drama Biology
3 - I agree with peanut, I hear religion and politics are a little iffy to add into your essay. I...
Undergraduatesushiwrap - Nov 24, 2012 / mikiibee - Nov 27, 2012
|'Second Chance' - about someone who has made an impact on your life
Undergraduatecc2013 - Nov 27, 2012 / cc2013 - Nov 27, 2012
|'never failed at loving me unconditionally' - UT A Someone a big impact on your life
Undergraduatemikiibee - Nov 27, 2012 / mikiibee - Nov 27, 2012
|'normal magnification' - UT Austin essay B- starting paragraph
2 - That last sentence is awesome. Love how you tied all that together at the end. Just focus on a...
Undergraduatealana327 - Nov 25, 2012 / cc2013 - Nov 27, 2012
|'My mother passed away, I'm more prepared for life' Washington - Saying Goodbye
3 - Thanks for noticing about the introduction. I actually began writing on the other prompt option, and it kind of...
Undergraduatekmayer96 - Nov 27, 2012 / kmayer96 - Nov 27, 2012
|UC Prompt 1: He's My Nephew; '75% percent deaf in both ears'
UndergraduateEunhae126 - Nov 27, 2012 / KlangSelangor - Nov 27, 2012
|'John Lennon's crooked glasses' - UC Personal 2
3 - seriously, thank you so much! that is awesome. can you read my other essay? haha i would love some...
Undergraduatericejillian5 - Nov 27, 2012 / ricejillian5 - Nov 27, 2012
|'Telok Pulai' - UC essay : the world and my dreams
UndergraduateKlangSelangor - Nov 27, 2012 / KlangSelangor - Nov 27, 2012
|'interests by tutoring people' - UC Prompt #1 Essay: Meaning of Life
5 - Thank you for your replies!!! I am already taking your replies into consideration and it is helping me greatly!!!...
UndergraduateDonesaur - Nov 27, 2012 / Donesaur - Nov 27, 2012
|'A mentor for my sister' - A lonely world UC Prompt 1
2 - "Since college would be revenue for these properties, it is important for me to go college so that I...
Undergraduatetoeknee692 - Nov 27, 2012 / 503dannyk - Nov 27, 2012
|"The Yakuza Man"; UT at Austin App; Person who made an impact
4 - Thanks for the feedback both of you. Wow, I'm pretty sure he wasn't missing a pinky. That would be...
Undergraduate503dannyk - Nov 26, 2012 / 503dannyk - Nov 27, 2012
|UC Prompt: Describe the world you come from - Psychology and Law
2 - Hey thanks for reading my essay! any suggestions on how I should change my intro paragraph though? I was...
UndergraduateTmeregalli - Nov 27, 2012 / Eunhae126 - Nov 27, 2012
|'the perfect intermediate / school lunches' - My Two UC App Essays
Undergraduaterayray - Nov 23, 2012 / rayray - Nov 27, 2012
|'From Chinese to American high-school' UC the world you come from MY HIGH SCHOOL LIFE
4 - Hey thanks for looking at mine! - I enjoyed reading your essay, but your grammar here and there was...
Undergraduateyisha - Nov 27, 2012 / Eunhae126 - Nov 27, 2012
|My Catholic childhood and those weekly classes- UC Prompt #1
8 - I really enjoyed the idea and the way you wrote it. There a minor mistakes: - Change "boring" to...
Undergraduateadrianpzamora - Nov 15, 2012 / toeknee692 - Nov 27, 2012
|'Rose aided my growth' - write about a person who is important
2 - I thought this was really good. It kept me wanting to read more and more. It was really tight...
Undergraduatekorib - Nov 27, 2012 / aleckdanielle - Nov 27, 2012
|'computer hardware, or a computer repair service' - Topic C essay?
2 - The essay is simple and straightforward but in parts it got too wordy. Like here: To help me accomplish...
Undergraduatebren21095 - Nov 27, 2012 / aleckdanielle - Nov 27, 2012
|University of Washington Short Response Culture Learning
Undergraduatekmayer96 - Nov 26, 2012 / kmayer96 - Nov 27, 2012
|'Learning to accept the facts' - UC #2 - Stuttering
3 - This essay is terrific. The only things that bothered me were two sentences that felt a little repetitious. ...
Undergraduatexamanda - Nov 25, 2012 / diebysenioritis - Nov 27, 2012
|"True Parents" Admission Essay
2 - -" My maternal grandparents tried to persuade them out of it, but my mother had always been a rebellious...
Undergraduatekerencita95 - Nov 27, 2012 / sharey125 - Nov 27, 2012
|'Balancing everything' - LEADERSHIP AND HOW IT WILL AFFECT YOUR FUTURE
Undergraduatelivfaure - Nov 27, 2012 / aleckdanielle - Nov 27, 2012
|'Art, puzzles, and into the start of my life' - SAIC statement of purpose
3 - I like your essay it shows passion. However if you could vividly express where you drew something by experiencing...
Undergraduatekev533 - Nov 27, 2012 / sharey125 - Nov 27, 2012
|'About peanuts and returning from the hospital' - SUNY Oswego personal narrative
UndergraduateLemonsnout - Nov 19, 2012 / livfaure - Nov 27, 2012
|'Macau gambling / Arrogant and impatient' - UC majoring in Business and Economics.
Undergraduatepaul_1993517 - Nov 27, 2012 / paul_1993517 - Nov 27, 2012
|'environmental course' - Lehigh - If you founded your own college or university....
2 - Your essay shows completion, accuracy and well-developed structure. Moreover, you argued strongly in order to support you view which...
Undergraduate13cweisberg - Nov 20, 2012 / alexhirsu - Nov 27, 2012
|'Christian values and a keen eye for excellence' - my resume profile
2 - I like your profile. It is clear that you have worked hard and proved both initiative and involvement. If...
Undergraduatepeprah1 - Nov 17, 2012 / alexhirsu - Nov 27, 2012
|'the Logistics department coordinator' -Short Answer for Common Application
5 - Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate your opinions. Do you think that I should emphasize the impact...
Undergraduatealexhirsu - Nov 27, 2012 / alexhirsu - Nov 27, 2012
|'I want to live and learn for myself' - UC ESSAY: PROMPT 1
3 - I actually purposely did it cause my prompt 2 is all about my community service experience but i'll add...
Undergraduatekimchiduck - Nov 27, 2012 / kimchiduck - Nov 27, 2012
|'experiences as an Administrative Coordinator' - MS Human Resource Managment Essay
UndergraduateACSHR - Nov 14, 2012 / ACSHR - Nov 27, 2012
|'accomplished and satisfied' - UC PERSONAL STATEMENT: Workcamp
Undergraduatecalisenior - Nov 26, 2012 / calisenior - Nov 27, 2012
|Jumping into the Ocean Without a Lifeline UC PROMPT #2
3 - Excellent essay! This is a very polished and strong essay. i really cant find anything to improve upon. Best...
Undergraduateiamnicholas1 - Nov 25, 2012 / Doom - Nov 27, 2012
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