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|'crumbling desire to be an engineer' - common app essay- my choice-why i do it
NEW - December 5, 2008 was the day I transitioned to a new environment, coming to the United States. I was...
Undergraduatemcbossman - Nov 24, 2012 / — -
|Cooper Union; In a brief paragraph, describe the elements of Engineering you want to study
Undergraduateluying9682 - Nov 21, 2012 / mcbossman - Nov 24, 2012
|USC- annenberg statment of intent for a Public Relations major
Undergraduatemeliilynn - Nov 24, 2012 / suzeroonie - Nov 24, 2012
|A Cower Straightened (Common App Essay!)
2 - I realized the significance ethnicity had on my identity at a young age like razorblades to my skin this...
UndergraduateKimiko9000 - Nov 24, 2012 / art4bg - Nov 24, 2012
|"Let's play doctor!" UC Personal Statement- The hospital
Undergraduatetip - Nov 24, 2012 / tip - Nov 24, 2012
|'promoting Chinese culture' - UC Prompt #2
UndergraduateLoveTotoro - Nov 18, 2012 / simibug13 - Nov 24, 2012
|'She taught me to speak up for myself' - Second UC Application Prompt Help
2 - I think this is a very well-written essay! However, I feel you should rewrite your last sentence (it feels...
Undergraduatejuliag - Nov 24, 2012 / adrianpzamora - Nov 24, 2012
|'makeing it to the world stage - strength' - Penn State Personal Statement
Undergraduatemcbossman - Nov 19, 2012 / mcbossman - Nov 24, 2012
|'The EducationUSA adviser' - answer to the Dickinson Supplement
7 - Thanks for the reply. You really think I don't need to give anymore detail? But I am surprised...
Undergraduatemoon05 - Nov 19, 2012 / moon05 - Nov 24, 2012
|'My musical performance' - UC Personal Statement #2 Critique
3 - Thanks for the input! I changed up the last paragraph. Do you think this makes it more my quality?...
UndergraduateRawrJjong - Nov 24, 2012 / RawrJjong - Nov 24, 2012
|'feet into my physics class' - important person College Admission Essay
4 - I was very touched by your essay because it shows your true emotions. But I feel like the beginning...
Undergraduatekaitlynecall - Nov 13, 2012 / saloanim - Nov 24, 2012
|'I visited Afghanistan' - College essay common app experience
2 - instead of saying that you went to Afghanistan ( "This past summer I visited the country of Afghanistan.") Describe...
Undergraduatesarahmohammz - Nov 24, 2012 / art4bg - Nov 24, 2012
|'Trip of a lifetime to Japan' - essay
Undergraduateericramon - Nov 3, 2012 / sarahmohammz - Nov 24, 2012
|'cutting off all support and help' - UTA ESSAY B
Undergraduateesther3095 - Nov 24, 2012 / moon05 - Nov 24, 2012
|'zero opportunity' - Issue of Importance, UT APPLICATION ESSAY
3 - Thank you...
Undergraduatewelc2774 - Nov 23, 2012 / welc2774 - Nov 24, 2012
|'My college search' - Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University
2 - Your essay is great, and the fact that you actually visited the campus gives you a lot of bonus...
Undergraduateart4bg - Nov 24, 2012 / esther3095 - Nov 24, 2012
|UC Prompt one "Coping with Life" "Describing my future dreams and past experiences
3 - I remember that my AP English teacher showed us one of her student's essays that was basically a rant...
UndergraduateTaylor8294 - Nov 24, 2012 / RawrJjong - Nov 24, 2012
|'The New Kid' - UC Personal Statement Prompt #2
Undergraduateadebayor123 - Nov 19, 2012 / RawrJjong - Nov 24, 2012
|(Meliora experience?) - meaning of Prompts
Undergraduatemoon05 - Nov 24, 2012 / — -
|"great ocean of truth" - Essay on Sherlock Holmes's influence
UndergraduateNRessay - Nov 22, 2012 / bellem1 - Nov 24, 2012
|'I have resided in an affluent community' - personal statement for UC app
2 - 1st Essay You are saying that you had no recollection of your parents, you never discussed with...
Undergraduateasd2013 - Nov 20, 2012 / moon05 - Nov 24, 2012
|A character defining moment. 'November 20th was a cold, cloudy day'
4 - thank you soooo much! you're right, i'll write about something else that is more like me, and less a...
Undergraduateprogrammer - Nov 24, 2012 / programmer - Nov 24, 2012
|"Do mi so mi do." I sang with the piano, not missing one note.
8 - could you read my essay as well? i really need serious help with that. and you're welcome i told...
Undergraduatepussypussy - Nov 23, 2012 / programmer - Nov 24, 2012
|'Grandma's forte' - UC 1: Family's Influence on Business
4 - Perhaps it should read 'the knowledge I will gain" I, too do not understand part about regretting no...
Undergraduatemadluck - Nov 23, 2012 / busybee - Nov 24, 2012
|"Exponential Growth" - Carnegie Mellon Supplement Essay
Undergraduatechrismanggg - Nov 23, 2012 / busybee - Nov 24, 2012
|'I call her Wonder woman' - someone who has made an impact on your life
4 - I love the first two sentences. I think it perfectly opens up an essay that gives you an oppurtunity...
Undergraduatekorib - Nov 22, 2012 / pguz - Nov 23, 2012
|'I'm not boring, I promise' - Babson Roomate College Supplement
2 - Impressive start! Good! : ) This is very interesting ...hahaha.... yep, you better make that promise,...
UndergraduateiMish - Nov 21, 2012 / dumi - Nov 23, 2012
|'School in pyjamas' - personal statement essay about home schooling - topic of choice
3 - "my wide group of friends could not derive from a single place" I think it should be changed to...
Undergraduateivyleague - Nov 23, 2012 / sonyab0627 - Nov 23, 2012
|'My new idea of security' - UC Personal Statement #1 Critique
UndergraduateRawrJjong - Nov 23, 2012 / sonyab0627 - Nov 23, 2012
|How will your presence enrich our community? Readmission essay
Undergraduatebimongol - Nov 21, 2012 / dumi - Nov 23, 2012
|Office of Immigration Services - UC Essay- The inner Korean stuck with me
UndergraduateCubiksRuber - Nov 18, 2012 / CubiksRuber - Nov 23, 2012
|UC Prompt #1 - World travel teaching lessons?
3 - Your essay starts out great i just feel that it ends really weak in the last paragraph. To me...
Undergraduatedeechan634 - Nov 23, 2012 / hamida1106 - Nov 23, 2012
|'Cross country pushing forward' - UC Essay #2 - Colorguard
Undergraduatemsaisagee - Nov 22, 2012 / msaisagee - Nov 23, 2012
|Adobe Essay, something I did that mad me stand out
Undergraduatethydo241 - Nov 10, 2012 / AzizZ - Nov 23, 2012
|Am I perfect enough? 'Conviction and bravery are important to keep our heads up'
Undergraduateeromero - Nov 23, 2012 / dumi - Nov 23, 2012
|"Why my intended major is math"- UC Promt #1 - feedback
Undergraduatejenn89 - Nov 21, 2012 / dumi - Nov 23, 2012
|All you need is some "guts", and you can overcome anything.
Undergraduatejmazz - Oct 18, 2012 / madluck - Nov 23, 2012
|luck and hard work - we should work hard instead of waiting for luck
2 - ----------- when you say all of them, it sounds there are many things; Here its hard work against...
Undergraduatevangtrangnho_nt - Nov 21, 2012 / dumi - Nov 23, 2012
|"Korean Eye of the Storm" UC Personal Statement Prompt #1
UndergraduateCubiksRuber - Nov 23, 2012 / — -
|'traditional Mexican-American family' - UC Personal Statement "Your World"
5 - Thank you, ammr993, weeyizhi, and luying9682. I will definitely take your feedback into account as I write the final...
Undergraduatesushiwrap - Nov 21, 2012 / sushiwrap - Nov 23, 2012
|'the first two months of my new business' - Essay Prompt B
2 - This is a very touching essay but it doesn't answer the prompt about how it relates to the person...
UndergraduateZachadude7 - Nov 23, 2012 / kimchiduck - Nov 23, 2012
|Reaching out to the Disadvantaged Families - College admission essay OUTLINE
2 - there was alot of very good information in this outline, some suggestions i would give you is to mayb...
Undergraduaterbaunach - Nov 11, 2012 / StephR - Nov 23, 2012
|'my Lebanese heritage and culture' - UC essay
3 - I really like your essay but I would try and focus a little less on describing your world and...
Undergraduatenounoub21 - Nov 22, 2012 / 4m4jordan4m4 - Nov 23, 2012
|'between a celebrity and a journalist' - USC academic interests short answer
NEW - Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Growing up, I don't remember...
Undergraduatemeliilynn - Nov 23, 2012 / — -
|'In co-ed schools all my life' - Why Barnard?
Undergraduatebellem1 - Nov 23, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 23, 2012
|'graduating high school being pregnant' - The world I come from
Undergraduatejcedillo - Nov 23, 2012 / bellem1 - Nov 23, 2012
|'Fillmore and Prince' - Stanford Intellectual Vitality Essay
2 - This sounds great! I like how you started with the dialogue because I did not expect it to be...
Undergraduate4m4jordan4m4 - Nov 23, 2012 / nounoub21 - Nov 23, 2012
|'playing video games to cheer myself up' - CommonApp Personal Statement
3 - When i BEGAN my freshman year... I usually cheer myself up BY playing videogames They WOULD use the information...
Undergraduatemadluck - Nov 23, 2012 / nounoub21 - Nov 23, 2012
|'Speech contest full of challenge' - UC STATMENT#2
NEW - The grammar is really bad and need some correction. Please feel free to help me edit or make comments!!...
Undergraduatehellosunshine - Nov 23, 2012 / — -
|'I learned about camping through my friends' -Common App Essay - Topic of your choice
UndergraduateUshio - Nov 12, 2012 / 4m4jordan4m4 - Nov 23, 2012
|A Microcosm of the Global Community (Rutgers admissions essay)
UndergraduateMereia238 - Nov 8, 2012 / AzizZ - Nov 23, 2012
|'I was elected captain of my cross country team' Extracurricular short answer
3 - Emily, this essay is very neatly written and it is obvious that cross country has had an impact on...
Undergraduatebellem1 - Nov 22, 2012 / Premed0 - Nov 23, 2012
|Johns Hopkins Supplement - "From Inspiration to Biochemistry"
6 - Thanks everyone for the serious editing! I didn't even realize I had misspelled Johns Hopkins. I wrote this in...
UndergraduatePremed0 - Nov 23, 2012 / Premed0 - Nov 23, 2012
|"JELLO it is!" - Common App Essay; significant experience, achievement, risk...
Undergraduatetheuberjc - Nov 23, 2012 / theuberjc - Nov 23, 2012
|"What I've done the last 10 years"-Temple University admission
2 - If its ten year later and you haven't enter graduate school than there is some miss calculation. I felt...
Undergraduatepurpribb1 - Nov 12, 2012 / MariettaA - Nov 23, 2012
|As I crawled into bed that night I found myself unable to sleep - college essay
2 - Okay, i believe that the essay it self is beyond expectation of a college entry essay. I copied it...
Undergraduatestaols - Nov 4, 2012 / MariettaA - Nov 23, 2012
|'Life in a honest world' - my essay for University of California
2 - I choose <<<chose>>not to help my friend during exams because I understand .... How can people lent<<<lend>>> money to...
Undergraduatehshsteven - Nov 23, 2012 / MariettaA - Nov 23, 2012
|'My summer art homework / Lesson plans' - UC APPLICATION PROMPT #1&2
2 - I think your essays are good. For the first one, i was looking forward to hearing how your family...
Undergraduateimprincess9090 - Nov 8, 2012 / MariettaA - Nov 23, 2012
|MIT short answers; I'm Asian/ my interest in coding/ my mentality
Undergraduatexamanda - Oct 29, 2012 / dumi - Nov 23, 2012
|UT Austin Essay "B" 'Oh, Love for Literature, Where Have Thou Gone?'
4 - I meant the novels. The transitions are quite important. They make your essay smooth and easy to understand....
UndergraduateTranLePhu - Nov 23, 2012 / weeyizhi - Nov 23, 2012
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