|Undergraduate [25,738] - page 144 of 429|
|'My opportunities in Hong Kong' - UC personal statement #1
2 - In the beginning, you TELL alot. I suggest that you show how you've become a well rounded person or...
Undergraduatesophiamak - Nov 22, 2012 / nounoub21 - Nov 22, 2012
|'The idea of the American Dream' - COMMON APP
Undergraduateuscuscusc - Nov 18, 2012 / uscuscusc - Nov 22, 2012
|Bowdoin Supplemental Essay: Ears Open
UndergraduateMoe_cubed - Nov 17, 2012 / futurecolumbian - Nov 22, 2012
|college essay topic - when corned, one gives his full effort
2 - few things related to grammer When all confidence is lost there is no hope would contradict the previous statement...
Undergraduatebdl6255 - Nov 21, 2012 / asn123 - Nov 22, 2012
|UC Prompt #1: My interest in Legos spurring me to become an engineer
4 - "As with any plastic toy, fragile and sturdy pieces alike were subject to breaking. These occurrences were devastating at...
Undergraduateor3nzo - Nov 22, 2012 / or3nzo - Nov 22, 2012
|'Drawing and painting since childhood' - Common Application Essay of Your Choice!
2 - Love your topic and intro's first line. I think its great, good use of vocab, great sentences of different...
Undergraduaterobotboydks - Nov 4, 2012 / k123 - Nov 22, 2012
|'gender discrimination still exists in China' - Apply Texas Topic A
2 - I like your into but mention who you are talking about in your intro because if confused me about...
Undergraduatealilsushi - Nov 22, 2012 / k123 - Nov 22, 2012
|'House Rules / Childhood fantasies' - COLUMBIA SHORT ANSWER
8 - I'm likely echoing off the other posters, but I'm sure that re-focusing your second essay could only be to...
Undergraduatefuturecolumbian - Nov 22, 2012 / Moe_cubed - Nov 22, 2012
|'Waiting for a complete recovery' - UC statement # 2 response
UndergraduateYoh - Nov 21, 2012 / Yoh - Nov 22, 2012
|'Bangladesh and the beauty of our solar system' - Common app essay
3 - I think the your introduction is very nice. It is succinct and shows diversity. However I agree Leah_writer, you...
Undergraduaterezwan3 - Nov 6, 2012 / futurecolumbian - Nov 22, 2012
|'Machines, tubes, wheelchairs'. Georgetown short answer.
3 - I actually think you should keep the sentence about how you react to seeing the sick kids-it makes the...
UndergraduateSoccer13 - Nov 22, 2012 / bellem1 - Nov 22, 2012
|Common Application Essay! Leave commnets and edits! Topic of your choice.
4 - Its really good and a great metaphor, but it gets kind of confusing because of all that detail you...
UndergraduateShoko0229 - Nov 4, 2012 / StephR - Nov 22, 2012
|'innocent Chinese people' - Edit my UMich essay
3 - unawareness is a much better word than ignorance. I struggled a lot with this word because it's definately not...
Undergraduatefangyanyuyan - Nov 21, 2012 / fangyanyuyan - Nov 22, 2012
|Football player. His personality is one that I like to mirror in my own life.
2 - circumstance arises / circumstances arise ---- change punctuation from full stop to comma --------------...
Undergraduatepawan457 - Nov 22, 2012 / dumi - Nov 22, 2012
|'father become an electrician' Rutgers Essay 2013 Fall Admission
3 - You missed the topic of this essay: It's diversity. How will you contribute to a location of many cultures,...
Undergraduatepgambino5851 - Nov 4, 2012 / mcig - Nov 22, 2012
|Georgetown University Creative Application Essay
4 - The introduction needs a little bit of work, but I really like the whole idea. I think you need...
Undergraduatekatev - Nov 1, 2012 / Soccer13 - Nov 22, 2012
|'boundless opportunities' Why study at Georgetown University? essay
Undergraduatekatev - Nov 1, 2012 / Soccer13 - Nov 22, 2012
|'To be an electrical engineer' - What are your current career objectives
Undergraduateluying9682 - Nov 21, 2012 / luying9682 - Nov 22, 2012
|UC-prompt 1 Learning to be an independent thinker
10 - Thanks i will consider revising the last paragraph. :) I posted one comment on yours, but I cannot...
UndergraduateLilian95 - Nov 19, 2012 / Lilian95 - Nov 22, 2012
|Business and Social Sciences ~ University of Washington Honors Program Essay
Undergraduateblquandt - Nov 19, 2012 / dumi - Nov 22, 2012
|'I wanted to learn Latin dance' - UC Prompt #2 A fall or a slippery?
9 - Uncomplicated and strong. Didn't notice any grammatical mistakes at all. Good one =D My view is that you should...
UndergraduateLilian95 - Nov 19, 2012 / weeyizhi - Nov 22, 2012
|RUTGERS APP ESSAY -EXPERIENCES; stereotypical suburban white teenage girl
Undergraduatemlhaas - Nov 7, 2012 / dumi - Nov 22, 2012
|Law School Personal Statement "Average"
UndergraduateMelEL022 - Nov 1, 2012 / dumi - Nov 22, 2012
|'Jewish athletes' - Apply Texas: A person who has influenced you .... Aly Raisman
Undergraduateablumfield - Nov 21, 2012 / esther3095 - Nov 22, 2012
|Topic B: Issue of Importance, Technological advances
UndergraduateBChief - Nov 21, 2012 / dumi - Nov 21, 2012
|'Enthusiasm, commitment, conscience, problem solving..' qualities to our institution
NEW - I'm applying to The Cooper Union and there are 13 questions... So if you see my posts all the...
Undergraduateluying9682 - Nov 21, 2012 / — -
|'contempt for my parents' - UC Essay Prompt #1
2 - I think the topic is good, but you seem to focus on describing your parents' relationship more than its...
Undergraduatemsaisagee - Nov 21, 2012 / ammr993 - Nov 21, 2012
|(an aspiring communications major) Boston University Supplement
Undergraduateemilyc28 - Nov 21, 2012 / Premed0 - Nov 21, 2012
|'a secret television addict' - Stanford: Note to your Future Roommate
Undergraduateannastar95 - Nov 21, 2012 / annastar95 - Nov 21, 2012
|'toothless smile and smelly diapers' - UC Essay Prompt #2
UndergraduateM_Squared - Nov 21, 2012 / M_Squared - Nov 21, 2012
|'I returned to Korea and moved to Libya' - UC Personal Statement Prompt #1
Undergraduateadebayor123 - Nov 19, 2012 / sushiwrap - Nov 21, 2012
|'attain a common objective' Leadership Essay for University
3 - Just five comments. 1. Don't repeat the prompt in your first sentence--seriously?--instead, weave it into your writing. In fact,...
Undergraduatekrejci - Nov 21, 2012 / sushiwrap - Nov 21, 2012
|'Engineers can craft and create' - UC essay "your world" prompt
6 - To make it easier on you, actually, you should probably use this essay for prompt #2: "Tell us about...
Undergraduategrateful1 - Nov 20, 2012 / sushiwrap - Nov 21, 2012
|Stanford: I am extremely excited to meet you - roommate letter
2 - I see the world and people I encounter areas a fertile ground for gathering information to satisfy my...
Undergraduateria95 - Nov 21, 2012 / suzeroonie - Nov 21, 2012
|USC Short Answer Essay: Describe your Academic Interests
Undergraduatesuzeroonie - Nov 21, 2012 / suzeroonie - Nov 21, 2012
|I am currently living in America, but I haven't lived here all my life
NEW - Even though I am currently living in America, I haven't lived here all my life. About half of my...
Undergraduateflashman260 - Nov 21, 2012 / — -
|Did my own coach had just invited me to cheat? ; Caltech / Ethical Dilemma
14 - I absolutely love how you said can anybody help me out here, it will be very appreciated after people...
UndergraduateHoney Johri - Nov 19, 2012 / memm - Nov 21, 2012
|UC essay; 'My beginnings were humble' - Describe the world you come from
4 - This is a fantastically-written essay--it is evident that you are a good writer. However, if it is one thing...
Undergraduatevidxyz - Nov 19, 2012 / sushiwrap - Nov 21, 2012
|UC Essay Prompt #1: Toastmasters Experience
Undergraduate3coolnys - Nov 18, 2012 / 3coolnys - Nov 21, 2012
|"You can do it" - constructive criticism for my UC personal statement
Undergraduatekristinesg - Nov 20, 2012 / dumi - Nov 21, 2012
|'the gravity of challenges' - Bentley University Supplement Essay
UndergraduateAlbert - Nov 20, 2012 / Albert - Nov 21, 2012
|'video game addiction' - Overcoming this obstacle in life has been my great achievement
2 - Before going straight into your essay, start off with a sentence that really intrigues the reader to continue reading...
Undergraduatemightyboosh01 - Nov 18, 2012 / M_Squared - Nov 20, 2012
|"Restaurants in Egypt" - Classification essay.
2 - Most people in Egypt prefer restaurants food more than home food.("prefer" has the same meaning as "more than" ,...
Undergraduatelike11 - Nov 20, 2012 / Shirley0426007 - Nov 20, 2012
|'hardcore gamer' - Statement of Purpose for Game Design @USC
3 - I finished two researches .("research" is an uncountable noun and you cannot use it in plural form)...
UndergraduateAkito - Nov 19, 2012 / Shirley0426007 - Nov 20, 2012
|founding fathers essey; 'Walking down the street I met a man'
Undergraduatemagoc_conch - Nov 1, 2012 / magoc_conch - Nov 20, 2012
|'The Filipino paintings' - My UC application prompt #1
UndergraduateJRSeitz - Nov 19, 2012 / JRSeitz - Nov 20, 2012
|the scariest house ever - escaping the ghosts
2 - This is very well written and very descriptive. Good work! :) Just one correction : The door did not...
Undergraduatephuoc huynh - Nov 20, 2012 / ZarahMehrin - Nov 20, 2012
|'Surgery on me helped me reinvent myself' - Prompt #2 of Personal Statement
4 - I don't really understand what you're trying to say with this sentence. The way I'm reading it, it...
Undergraduateel_moises1 - Nov 17, 2012 / madison333 - Nov 20, 2012
|Un. students attending classes; they are adult and know how to manage their time
2 - - you need to re paraphrase this sentence some thing like - These days universities are equipped with...
Undergraduatemohamad shahidi - Nov 4, 2012 / kurianjoseph1 - Nov 20, 2012
|'Red track and white lines simplify my world. I love running'. Admission Essay
4 - Thanks Dumi... You are a very nice person.. I saw you help a lot of people with their essays.....
Undergraduatezhanglunke - Nov 17, 2012 / zhanglunke - Nov 20, 2012
|Five Themes of Geography essay on Thomas Edison? - Suggestions?
2 - This sounds like an interesting theme. Unfortunately, I've never written anything quite like this but I will give it...
Undergraduatecesar402 - Nov 3, 2012 / Kirk G - Nov 20, 2012
|Trying to create a strong, unique FIT application essay!?
Undergraduatex0simplyshelby - Nov 14, 2012 / Albert - Nov 20, 2012
|Greetings fellow Stanfor Admit; Stanford roommate essay
Undergraduategrateful1 - Nov 20, 2012 / grateful1 - Nov 20, 2012
|three reasons I feel fortunate to be the person I am.
2 - I suggest the following for this opening sentence; I call myself a fortunate person because I was...
Undergraduateshuha2005 - Nov 4, 2012 / dumi - Nov 20, 2012
|'4x4 pickup truck'; Peace Corps Essays: Motivation and Cross-Culture
2 - This is again very impressive and you write so convincingly! Honestly... I just could not find anything to...
Undergraduatedboyd - Nov 17, 2012 / dumi - Nov 20, 2012
|UC Application Prompt #1: How am I supposed to know what I want to do with my life?
2 - All this sounds true. However, if you need to have your application look more attractive, present these facts...
UndergraduateWambat - Nov 20, 2012 / dumi - Nov 20, 2012
|Stanford Supplement; "Write a note to your future roommate"; four facts about me
8 - I would recommend that you cut down the intro because it doesn't really say anything about you and instead...
Undergraduatewowsers10101 - Oct 30, 2012 / Wambat - Nov 20, 2012
|'not a very good singer' - Stanford Roommate Essay
UndergraduateSpencedawg - Nov 5, 2012 / Wambat - Nov 20, 2012
|"I love Jar Jar Binks and Lebanese Food" - Stanford's Roommate Essay
6 - It is good overall but is very random and chaotic, with some smoothing out, and as mentioned above grouping,...
Undergraduateleahdaoud - Nov 9, 2012 / Wambat - Nov 20, 2012
|UC; "Never say Never," really is more than just a title of a James Bond movie
UndergraduateSongkong - Nov 20, 2012 / Wambat - Nov 20, 2012
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