|Undergraduate [25,610] - page 145 of 427|
|'My family and my interest in computers' - UC 1 - world you come from
4 - Well.... the rest don't stand up to the level that you show in presenting your first para. I'd suggest...
UndergraduateAdi_1996 - Nov 14, 2012 / dumi - Nov 14, 2012
|'Making up the lost time' - UC prompt 1
7 - ^That would be a great approach. If you can make that connection clear, it'll make your essay both anecdotal...
Undergraduaterockingthesea - Nov 12, 2012 / josephuong - Nov 14, 2012
|'Not the best start in high-school' / 'Moved to Florida' - UCF Essays- advice
Undergraduatexcislife2020 - Oct 28, 2012 / dumi - Nov 14, 2012
|'Greater than normal: demand and expectations' - quality, talent personal statement
Undergraduatebenedoe - Nov 13, 2012 / benedoe - Nov 14, 2012
|ORDER UP!- COMMON APP WORK EXPERIENCE ESSAY
NEW - All commentary and criticism accepted. If you can shorten things, please do. Work experience common app essay. ...
Undergraduateaskelliott - Nov 14, 2012 / — -
|'the heap of garbage' - University of Washington Essay ~ Cultural Difference
Undergraduateblquandt - Nov 12, 2012 / blquandt - Nov 13, 2012
|Apply Texas Essay: Person who has made an influence in your life; Drinking Water
2 - Wow! You are a phenomenal writer! I really love that quote and how you interpret it into a story....
Undergraduatemihsa2712 - Oct 29, 2012 / nyunai - Nov 13, 2012
|'Applying for the position of bookseller' - FCE Letter of Application
2 - "This is advantageous as I have the knowledge and the skills to treat with people." Edit: This is an...
Undergraduatedialicia - Nov 13, 2012 / SLEE30 - Nov 13, 2012
|'Teachers tell me to be myself and genunie' - Personal Statement
3 - i understand that you leave an impression on the college admissioners, but this isnt really working. sure, now they...
Undergraduatetiff_007 - Nov 10, 2012 / rockingthesea - Nov 13, 2012
|Burning flames - UC APPLICATION ESSAY PROMPT #1
Undergraduateiamnicholas1 - Nov 12, 2012 / jjustin31 - Nov 13, 2012
|'maintaining a happy household' - UCF ESSAY
NEW - How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are? My family environment has had the...
UndergraduatexoAshbby - Nov 13, 2012 / — -
|'a better academic resume' - Contributing to the Honors College community
2 - Write a bit more...as Honors considerations you are being put to a high expectation all the time...
UndergraduateAliciaS94 - Nov 13, 2012 / jincera1 - Nov 13, 2012
|'Entering the medical field to focus on Critical Care Pediatrician' UIC GPPA
NEW - Re: GPPA Statement The question "What do you want to become in life" always strikes as an eye...
UndergraduateAliciaS94 - Nov 13, 2012 / — -
|'Taking Cornell Notes for every subject' - learning process college essay
3 - Really nice essay! And I have to agree with CIEL, if you put more feelings into it the result...
Undergraduatekorib - Nov 13, 2012 / lilac1 - Nov 13, 2012
|"Do you have chocolate?" College App Work Experience Essay
4 - Hello, this was supposed to be the 1000 characters Describe your extracurricular activity or a work experience essay. ...
UndergraduateRevisiter - Nov 9, 2012 / Revisiter - Nov 13, 2012
|'Grandmother' - A descriptive paragraph: a person I will always remember
3 - Thank you! :)...
Undergraduatelexi0401 - Nov 12, 2012 / lexi0401 - Nov 13, 2012
|Topic of Choice: The Ugly Duckling
2 - Hi, I think the essay is well written, but you should write more positive statements. You allocated the main...
UndergraduateCouturechiic - Nov 12, 2012 / ah_zafari - Nov 13, 2012
|UC PERSONAL STATEMENT (What shaped my dreams and aspirations)
2 - I like that you started veering away from your mother as a main point and more towards how you...
Undergraduatejjustin31 - Nov 12, 2012 / iamnicholas1 - Nov 12, 2012
|Which topic should I choose? UW Application
3 - ok thanks! :)...
Undergraduatejndoty - Nov 12, 2012 / jndoty - Nov 12, 2012
|Hard times are inevitable; Personal Statement for University of Arizona
2 - I can relate to your experience and I congratulate you on continuing to pursue your education during this dark...
Undergraduatealyssabarnette - Oct 30, 2012 / Juanesha - Nov 12, 2012
|'a design based company' - civil engineerng Michigan State
NEW - It's always been my wish that I want to be graded among the best students, and this is possible...
Undergraduatearnabsaha - Nov 12, 2012 / — -
|College essay. The greatest impact on your life? This is my mother.
5 - Yes, even the officers know that their mothers have a great influence to them, and you want your essay...
Undergraduateketajiaj - Nov 12, 2012 / Bernard1 - Nov 12, 2012
|Describing my passion for art - SAIC statement of purpose
Undergraduatevyridian - Nov 12, 2012 / ah_zafari - Nov 12, 2012
|An Admissions Essay for RIT About My Hobby, Electrical Engineering
2 - Even if you don't like this essay, I think its pretty good. Your passion for engineering really comes out,...
UndergraduateWillyD - Nov 11, 2012 / blquandt - Nov 12, 2012
|'Relationship and freshman year' - UC's how to pass the class
NEW - I did this last minute, not knowing the due date was tonight. This essay determines if I can start...
Undergraduatematttshare - Nov 12, 2012 / — -
|"Ms Tutu! Ms. Tutu, I need help!" ; EXTRACURRICULAR / Tutoring
Undergraduatetutu51595 - Nov 11, 2012 / tutu51595 - Nov 12, 2012
|'my first pair of glasses' - Common app essay: Topic of your choice
Undergraduatejes618 - Nov 12, 2012 / jes618 - Nov 12, 2012
|Communication Disorders Department - Personal Statement Speech Language Pathology Masters
4 - Much better, First and second Paragraphs are solid. I would change these two sentences, in that they are unclear,...
Undergraduatesuperpuza - Nov 11, 2012 / Abby5 - Nov 12, 2012
|LEHIGH supplements. Unique thing about Lehigh and my own university.
3 - Thank you! i felt the exact same way about the 2nd response. I'll read some more examples and work...
Undergraduatetutu51595 - Nov 11, 2012 / tutu51595 - Nov 12, 2012
|The Cuban miracle (surprising art/science/literature essay)
Undergraduatejincera1 - Nov 6, 2012 / jincera1 - Nov 12, 2012
|'A Solo Performance' - Biggest Challenge faced and how did I tackle
Undergraduatediptijain14 - Oct 10, 2012 / diptijain14 - Nov 12, 2012
|'Honor role / Marching band / Flute / Science and sports' - NCSSM Essays #1-5
Undergraduateruprecht10 - Oct 17, 2012 / spoiledgemini16 - Nov 12, 2012
|UC Personal Statement - "Two Worlds Converged"
Undergraduatesdelicana - Nov 11, 2012 / dumi - Nov 12, 2012
|(to devote myself to mathematics) UCAS Personal Statement about Mathematics
UndergraduateSimonFromNaples - Sep 18, 2011 / dumi - Nov 12, 2012
|'my expectations for college and education' - Common App Transfer
2 - missalex212 "We're prohibited from bringing outside research into class or the papers we write." Small error in this sentence....
Undergraduatemissalex212 - Nov 10, 2012 / emmaeve - Nov 11, 2012
|'Learning in America' - Describe the world you come from (my immigration)
Undergraduateysysysys - Nov 10, 2012 / dumi - Nov 11, 2012
|Finding Narnia Common App essay by A. M.
3 - The essay title captured my eye, so I decided to review this. Here is mine: Trekking along the...
UndergraduateKaiidth - Nov 6, 2012 / medjosh - Nov 11, 2012
|'my own little village' - Texas Essay A-Someone who has impacted your life
4 - ]Hello I'd like to begin by introducing myself, my name is CollegeGuy2013 I am 17 years old and I...
UndergraduateCollegeGuy2013 - Oct 23, 2012 / College Apps - Nov 11, 2012
|'Technology and classical music' - Issue of significance essay prompt
3 - rondevious - thanks for the feedback! i just threw the first paragraph together (this is a rough draft), so...
Undergraduatesonyab0627 - Nov 11, 2012 / sonyab0627 - Nov 11, 2012
|Not easy, but worth; Common App- Travelling Bug
UndergraduateThePirateKing - Oct 17, 2012 / rondevious - Nov 11, 2012
|'The Chinese and American way of life' - Essays for common app
UndergraduateDanniyang - Nov 7, 2012 / rondevious - Nov 11, 2012
|UPenn Supplement - "Perpetuate an evolving education"
4 - I think your statement has good potential. However, I feel like you are a little all over the place...
UndergraduatePremed0 - Nov 6, 2012 / rondevious - Nov 11, 2012
|'Standing up and my Cheerleading experience' - college entrance ut austin
Undergraduatealexisdanielle - Nov 8, 2012 / newport - Nov 11, 2012
|'nature conscious person' - Common app; my dad as significant person
2 - I don't mean to be harsh... but your essay is lacking substance. It sounds extremely generic like yada...
Undergraduateehawk20 - Nov 10, 2012 / rondevious - Nov 11, 2012
|My brother is influencing me - 'I felt so appreciative about life'
NEW - I am writing this essay for the CommonApp. Here is the prompt: Please write an essay (250-500 words) on...
Undergraduatesoccerchic30 - Nov 11, 2012 / — -
|"Refusing Dante's Ash" - IU Bloomington
2 - the essay is nicely written, great syntax especially, but i feel that it becomes a but too descriptive, without...
UndergraduateHILLYERWILL - Oct 25, 2012 / jchoe82 - Nov 11, 2012
|Ringling transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.
2 - Quite a few grammatical errors. "Ever since I was little I wanted to be a veterinarian. I grew...
Undergraduatemdubois - Nov 11, 2012 / Lanbekaka - Nov 11, 2012
|'The Outsiders' - a book you have read and explain its impact - OCCIDENTAL
Undergraduatejosephuong - Nov 9, 2012 / josephuong - Nov 11, 2012
|Commonapp activity writing - 'wrestling is by far the most meaningful to me'
3 - Your diet, activities and entire lifestyle is shaped by the sport. makes it flow better i think...
UndergraduateEnabledowner - Oct 29, 2012 / mdubois - Nov 11, 2012
|'A Nomad, a Navy Brat' - Flagler College Essay
3 - maybe start by stating what Island because I felt sort of lost not knowing where you were talking about....
UndergraduateKristenbreast - Oct 21, 2012 / mhk1294 - Nov 11, 2012
|'determination and perseverance' - critique my Michigan State essay
5 - There are some minor grammar mistakes, like previous readers have pointed out, but overall you have a very unique...
UndergraduateTFleet13 - Oct 18, 2012 / ljy9152 - Nov 11, 2012
|The Truth of Ourselves-Apply Texas Essay Prompt B
3 - Same problem here: I find two different topics going on at the same time. In the third paragraph, I...
Undergraduateartsyfartsy - Nov 5, 2012 / ljy9152 - Nov 11, 2012
|Basketball Common App Essay - leave comments or grammar edits
Undergraduatebella2489 - Nov 11, 2012 / ah_zafari - Nov 11, 2012
|'Roommate look forward to the friendships' - Babson Essay: Needs Revision
2 - the fist sentence is brilliant. I like it, it made me smile. In your second paragraph, adding your experiences...
Undergraduatelbornstein13 - Oct 29, 2012 / tutu51595 - Nov 11, 2012
|'Hercules' NYU supplement: what intrigues you?
2 - Omg I love this topic because Hercules was my favorite movie! and I have that song on my ipod!...
Undergraduateljy9152 - Nov 11, 2012 / bella2489 - Nov 11, 2012
|'the Entrepreneur Club' - USC Supplement ~ Academic Interest
Undergraduateblquandt - Nov 5, 2012 / blquandt - Nov 11, 2012
|'My sister and graduation' - Topic A
2 - How can people make it through life without a sister? Because I sure can't, not even a day. You...
UndergraduateMariana_MHdz - Nov 5, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 11, 2012
|The next Nancy Grace - UC Transfer Prompt #1
2 - Hi :) I really like the way you wrote your essay, it definitely shows personality and you have your...
Undergraduateshedontcare - Nov 6, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 11, 2012
|"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken" - Chicago Essay
6 - You haven't written anything about UChic at all! It's all just about you and how your not shy anymore......
Undergraduatehello00 - Nov 9, 2012 / zahras93 - Nov 11, 2012
|'learned from my research' - LMU My Supplement essay.
2 - I think that you should give more examples that are unique to you, in order to best answer the...
UndergraduateDollsi - Nov 5, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 11, 2012
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