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|'progression into the real world' - Rutgers Admission
3 - Brilliant essay! Very hard to find anything wrong with it, but here's my 2cents worth: 1. You give...
Undergraduateuyaq23 - Nov 3, 2012 / Phoebe Africa - Nov 15, 2012
|Speeches, oh the dread of which you bring to me! [Significant Challenge - 200 words]
6 - I also think there should be a smoother transition to when you became more confident. However, I think the...
Undergraduateellisdee - Oct 11, 2012 / metalstriker - Nov 15, 2012
|'Malaysia and Taekwondo' - Personal Statement - For UCAS (UK universities)
3 - Well, I'm planning to study mechanical engineering. Do you think I should mention that in the statement? Also, my...
Undergraduatemetalstriker - Oct 28, 2012 / metalstriker - Nov 15, 2012
|Living or travel experience essay - 'my grandfather told'
UndergraduateBernard1 - Nov 12, 2012 / karthik - Nov 15, 2012
|Personal statement for review: emergence of a confident and adventurous personality
Undergraduatekylebog - Oct 31, 2012 / dumi - Nov 14, 2012
|english essay for college apps personal statement; my passion for photography
Undergraduateblueeyes816 - Oct 24, 2012 / blueeyes816 - Nov 14, 2012
|Drinking and Driving - 'Andrew Chet Hamm died in an automobile accident'
2 - Chet's death, ---I think this sounds better.--- being the most recent loss, really had a tremendous effect on me....
Undergraduatemistywmson - Oct 28, 2012 / EF_Susan - Nov 14, 2012
|Texas A&M entrance essay - my grandfather is one of the most interesting people
2 - Your grandfather seems like a strong man and I believe you made a good choice in the significant figure....
Undergraduateericramon - Oct 29, 2012 / ellisdee - Nov 14, 2012
|UC essay prompt- "Making a Comeback"
Undergraduate4m4jordan4m4 - Oct 24, 2012 / 4m4jordan4m4 - Nov 14, 2012
|'Rotary Exchange Program' - Experience Common App Essay
UndergraduatePhoebe Africa - Nov 4, 2012 / Phoebe Africa - Nov 14, 2012
|"Can film inspire social change?" - Cornell A&S Supplement Essay
2 - The art of cinema and its influence on me as a child were similar to the obsessions every kid...
Undergraduateprincecomedy - Oct 27, 2012 / EF_Susan - Nov 14, 2012
|Being Black in Suburbia -- Common App Essay
2 - Looking back now, I was right in some ways, and completely wrong in others. This was definitely a...
Undergraduatetaytaynyc - Oct 27, 2012 / EF_Susan - Nov 14, 2012
|'the children of New Orleans' - My meaningful experience/event - UF Essay
2 - While on my two-week mission trip, my youth group was able to contribute to the rebuilding of our "adopted...
Undergraduatelaurenn2013 - Oct 25, 2012 / EF_Susan - Nov 14, 2012
|'Career in finance and motivational speaking' - Rutgers Transfer Essay Critique
2 - I plan to pursue not just a career in finance, but a career in motivational speaking as well as...
Undergraduatebinkim - Oct 24, 2012 / EF_Susan - Nov 14, 2012
|Essay on academic interests - Kimchi, Kiwi, and Made in China :)
7 - I love your exciting adventure. And I'm a Chocopie fanatic. :D:D. Good luck to you and thank you for...
Undergraduateqasderwdw - Nov 13, 2012 / princedynasty - Nov 14, 2012
|UBC 2012 app, Lifeguarding and Life changing Experience
3 - Last summer, I applied for a j ob ---Don't capitalize 'job'.---as a lifeguard at a local lake, where I...
Undergraduaterahuljoban - Oct 22, 2012 / EF_Susan - Nov 14, 2012
|'Serving as a PCV / Trust, confidence, integration' - Peace Corps application essays
Undergraduatepferraro - Oct 31, 2012 / dumi - Nov 14, 2012
|'My family and my interest in computers' - UC 1 - world you come from
4 - Well.... the rest don't stand up to the level that you show in presenting your first para. I'd suggest...
UndergraduateAdi_1996 - Nov 14, 2012 / dumi - Nov 14, 2012
|'Making up the lost time' - UC prompt 1
7 - ^That would be a great approach. If you can make that connection clear, it'll make your essay both anecdotal...
Undergraduaterockingthesea - Nov 12, 2012 / josephuong - Nov 14, 2012
|'Not the best start in high-school' / 'Moved to Florida' - UCF Essays- advice
Undergraduatexcislife2020 - Oct 28, 2012 / dumi - Nov 14, 2012
|'Greater than normal: demand and expectations' - quality, talent personal statement
Undergraduatebenedoe - Nov 13, 2012 / benedoe - Nov 14, 2012
|ORDER UP!- COMMON APP WORK EXPERIENCE ESSAY
NEW - All commentary and criticism accepted. If you can shorten things, please do. Work experience common app essay. ...
Undergraduateaskelliott - Nov 14, 2012 / — -
|'the heap of garbage' - University of Washington Essay ~ Cultural Difference
Undergraduateblquandt - Nov 12, 2012 / blquandt - Nov 13, 2012
|Apply Texas Essay: Person who has made an influence in your life; Drinking Water
2 - Wow! You are a phenomenal writer! I really love that quote and how you interpret it into a story....
Undergraduatemihsa2712 - Oct 29, 2012 / nyunai - Nov 13, 2012
|'Applying for the position of bookseller' - FCE Letter of Application
2 - "This is advantageous as I have the knowledge and the skills to treat with people." Edit: This is an...
Undergraduatedialicia - Nov 13, 2012 / SLEE30 - Nov 13, 2012
|'Teachers tell me to be myself and genunie' - Personal Statement
3 - i understand that you leave an impression on the college admissioners, but this isnt really working. sure, now they...
Undergraduatetiff_007 - Nov 10, 2012 / rockingthesea - Nov 13, 2012
|Burning flames - UC APPLICATION ESSAY PROMPT #1
Undergraduateiamnicholas1 - Nov 12, 2012 / jjustin31 - Nov 13, 2012
|'maintaining a happy household' - UCF ESSAY
NEW - How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are? My family environment has had the...
UndergraduatexoAshbby - Nov 13, 2012 / — -
|'a better academic resume' - Contributing to the Honors College community
2 - Write a bit more...as Honors considerations you are being put to a high expectation all the time...
UndergraduateAliciaS94 - Nov 13, 2012 / jincera1 - Nov 13, 2012
|'Entering the medical field to focus on Critical Care Pediatrician' UIC GPPA
NEW - Re: GPPA Statement The question "What do you want to become in life" always strikes as an eye...
UndergraduateAliciaS94 - Nov 13, 2012 / — -
|'Taking Cornell Notes for every subject' - learning process college essay
3 - Really nice essay! And I have to agree with CIEL, if you put more feelings into it the result...
Undergraduatekorib - Nov 13, 2012 / lilac1 - Nov 13, 2012
|"Do you have chocolate?" College App Work Experience Essay
4 - Hello, this was supposed to be the 1000 characters Describe your extracurricular activity or a work experience essay. ...
UndergraduateRevisiter - Nov 9, 2012 / Revisiter - Nov 13, 2012
|'Grandmother' - A descriptive paragraph: a person I will always remember
3 - Thank you! :)...
Undergraduatelexi0401 - Nov 12, 2012 / lexi0401 - Nov 13, 2012
|Topic of Choice: The Ugly Duckling
2 - Hi, I think the essay is well written, but you should write more positive statements. You allocated the main...
UndergraduateCouturechiic - Nov 12, 2012 / ah_zafari - Nov 13, 2012
|UC PERSONAL STATEMENT (What shaped my dreams and aspirations)
2 - I like that you started veering away from your mother as a main point and more towards how you...
Undergraduatejjustin31 - Nov 12, 2012 / iamnicholas1 - Nov 12, 2012
|Which topic should I choose? UW Application
3 - ok thanks! :)...
Undergraduatejndoty - Nov 12, 2012 / jndoty - Nov 12, 2012
|Hard times are inevitable; Personal Statement for University of Arizona
2 - I can relate to your experience and I congratulate you on continuing to pursue your education during this dark...
Undergraduatealyssabarnette - Oct 30, 2012 / Juanesha - Nov 12, 2012
|'a design based company' - civil engineerng Michigan State
NEW - It's always been my wish that I want to be graded among the best students, and this is possible...
Undergraduatearnabsaha - Nov 12, 2012 / — -
|College essay. The greatest impact on your life? This is my mother.
5 - Yes, even the officers know that their mothers have a great influence to them, and you want your essay...
Undergraduateketajiaj - Nov 12, 2012 / Bernard1 - Nov 12, 2012
|Describing my passion for art - SAIC statement of purpose
Undergraduatevyridian - Nov 12, 2012 / ah_zafari - Nov 12, 2012
|An Admissions Essay for RIT About My Hobby, Electrical Engineering
2 - Even if you don't like this essay, I think its pretty good. Your passion for engineering really comes out,...
UndergraduateWillyD - Nov 11, 2012 / blquandt - Nov 12, 2012
|'Relationship and freshman year' - UC's how to pass the class
NEW - I did this last minute, not knowing the due date was tonight. This essay determines if I can start...
Undergraduatematttshare - Nov 12, 2012 / — -
|"Ms Tutu! Ms. Tutu, I need help!" ; EXTRACURRICULAR / Tutoring
Undergraduatetutu51595 - Nov 11, 2012 / tutu51595 - Nov 12, 2012
|'my first pair of glasses' - Common app essay: Topic of your choice
Undergraduatejes618 - Nov 12, 2012 / jes618 - Nov 12, 2012
|Communication Disorders Department - Personal Statement Speech Language Pathology Masters
4 - Much better, First and second Paragraphs are solid. I would change these two sentences, in that they are unclear,...
Undergraduatesuperpuza - Nov 11, 2012 / Abby5 - Nov 12, 2012
|LEHIGH supplements. Unique thing about Lehigh and my own university.
3 - Thank you! i felt the exact same way about the 2nd response. I'll read some more examples and work...
Undergraduatetutu51595 - Nov 11, 2012 / tutu51595 - Nov 12, 2012
|The Cuban miracle (surprising art/science/literature essay)
Undergraduatejincera1 - Nov 6, 2012 / jincera1 - Nov 12, 2012
|'A Solo Performance' - Biggest Challenge faced and how did I tackle
Undergraduatediptijain14 - Oct 10, 2012 / diptijain14 - Nov 12, 2012
|'Honor role / Marching band / Flute / Science and sports' - NCSSM Essays #1-5
Undergraduateruprecht10 - Oct 17, 2012 / spoiledgemini16 - Nov 12, 2012
|UC Personal Statement - "Two Worlds Converged"
Undergraduatesdelicana - Nov 11, 2012 / dumi - Nov 12, 2012
|(to devote myself to mathematics) UCAS Personal Statement about Mathematics
UndergraduateSimonFromNaples - Sep 18, 2011 / dumi - Nov 12, 2012
|'my expectations for college and education' - Common App Transfer
2 - missalex212 "We're prohibited from bringing outside research into class or the papers we write." Small error in this sentence....
Undergraduatemissalex212 - Nov 10, 2012 / emmaeve - Nov 11, 2012
|Finding Narnia Common App essay by A. M.
3 - The essay title captured my eye, so I decided to review this. Here is mine: Trekking along the...
UndergraduateKaiidth - Nov 6, 2012 / medjosh - Nov 11, 2012
|'Technology and classical music' - Issue of significance essay prompt
3 - rondevious - thanks for the feedback! i just threw the first paragraph together (this is a rough draft), so...
Undergraduatesonyab0627 - Nov 11, 2012 / sonyab0627 - Nov 11, 2012
|Not easy, but worth; Common App- Travelling Bug
UndergraduateThePirateKing - Oct 17, 2012 / rondevious - Nov 11, 2012
|'The Chinese and American way of life' - Essays for common app
UndergraduateDanniyang - Nov 7, 2012 / rondevious - Nov 11, 2012
|'my own little village' - Texas Essay A-Someone who has impacted your life
3 - First off... DO NOT... introduce yourself like Hi... blahblah my name is...- sounds very informal and no essay should...
UndergraduateCollegeGuy2013 - Oct 23, 2012 / rondevious - Nov 11, 2012
|UPenn Supplement - "Perpetuate an evolving education"
4 - I think your statement has good potential. However, I feel like you are a little all over the place...
UndergraduatePremed0 - Nov 6, 2012 / rondevious - Nov 11, 2012
|'Standing up and my Cheerleading experience' - college entrance ut austin
Undergraduatealexisdanielle - Nov 8, 2012 / newport - Nov 11, 2012
|'nature conscious person' - Common app; my dad as significant person
2 - I don't mean to be harsh... but your essay is lacking substance. It sounds extremely generic like yada...
Undergraduateehawk20 - Nov 10, 2012 / rondevious - Nov 11, 2012
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