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|Additional intellectual activities that you have not mentioned or detailed elsewhere in your form
4 - Thank you @Holt and @roomonfire for your analyses. As a general view, the words mentioned are in Portuguese, not...
UndergraduateIsabellaalmeida - Nov 11, 2017 / Isabellaalmeida - Nov 15, 2017
|Pitzer Supplement Essay: a topic on Menstruation!
2 - Keely , I am confused by the essay discussion. You need to clarify whether you are in Vietnam or...
Undergraduatelittlebig1 - Nov 14, 2017 / Holt - Nov 14, 2017
|"Growing up across the world" - UW second essay
5 - Maya, I adore this essay! Especially considering it's so close to my heart (Indian born and raised in Japan)....
Undergraduatemojomaya - Nov 5, 2017 / roomonfire - Nov 14, 2017
|University of Washington essay - When my dad lived away from my family and what I learned from it
2 - Christian, the reason your essay is over the word count is because you are treating this essay as a...
Undergraduatecreepnchristian - Nov 13, 2017 / Holt - Nov 14, 2017
|Qualified for English major class. Admission essay to the Tran Hung Dao High School
7 - @Holt thanks...
Undergraduatekhang1310 - Nov 12, 2017 / khang1310 - Nov 13, 2017
|At Georgia Tech, I aspire to engage in Hack GT and captivate my passion for computer science.
4 - @Holt Is this response better? I have removed the descriptive parts about my personality and instead focused more...
Undergraduategzu2018 - Nov 12, 2017 / gzu2018 - Nov 12, 2017
|College Application Essay to the University Of Buffalo Prompt 6
2 - Vashan, what is the specific prompt you are trying to respond to? Your response is not aligned with the...
UndergraduateChannelBlonde - Nov 11, 2017 / Holt - Nov 12, 2017
|My essay on why I chose pharmacy and what about it interests me?
UndergraduateMrVictor - Nov 11, 2017 / MrVictor - Nov 11, 2017
|When a Stargazing Is Your Extracurricular Activity - Harvard essay
2 - Isabella, this is a highly descriptive and engaging essay. The problem with it, is that you did not signify...
UndergraduateIsabellaalmeida - Nov 10, 2017 / Holt - Nov 11, 2017
|How can you contribute to the Honors College community? What benefits do you expect in return?
UndergraduateMrVictor - Nov 10, 2017 / MrVictor - Nov 11, 2017
|Autobiography used in exchange program
Undergraduateashstarry - Nov 9, 2017 / Holt - Nov 9, 2017
|A NARRATIVE ESSAY BASING ON A PIECE OF MUSIC
3 - I would like to point out some grammatical mistakes. 1. finally perceived his honesty 2. Everything have gone on...
UndergraduateDAILOIUTE - Oct 28, 2017 / snpcosmic - Nov 8, 2017
|"I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world" UGRAD response
3 - @Holt I guess you are right, I'm rewriting the thing from scratch Thanks a lot for your help....
Undergraduateraafat_abualazm - Nov 7, 2017 / raafat_abualazm - Nov 7, 2017
|Academic and personal experience, preparation for and commitment to further study at SCAD
2 - Anna, this is a good start. your opening paragraph is believable as most kids do get their start in...
Undergraduateratcrux - Nov 7, 2017 / Holt - Nov 7, 2017
|A woman interested in pursuing a career in biomedical engineering
3 - Annabel , remove the reference to being intimidated to enter into a male dominated field. Don't forget that one...
Undergraduateannabelleboo1 - Nov 6, 2017 / Holt - Nov 7, 2017
|The neighborhood where I grew up and which had a significal impact on me
3 - Matthew, there is too much focus on the negative side of your father in this essay. Please remember that...
UndergraduateMattMag - Nov 6, 2017 / Holt - Nov 6, 2017
|My gap year has been crucial to a deeper understanding of my country and its culture
3 - Muskan, this is a highly enlightening essay. You have shown the proper development of your interest in the Newari...
Undergraduatemuskanshrestha - Nov 5, 2017 / Holt - Nov 6, 2017
|A personal experience, about when my dad was deployed to various places with the British Army
3 - Callum, I have to ask, is this for a college application or for a creative writing class? If you...
UndergraduateCallumW - Nov 5, 2017 / Holt - Nov 5, 2017
|Moving from one country to another is a CHALLENGE
Undergraduatepaola_alba2 - Nov 4, 2017 / muskanshrestha - Nov 5, 2017
|U-dub supplement: Being an Ambassador since age 2
Undergraduatealexis112 - Nov 5, 2017 / Holt - Nov 5, 2017
|Common App essay on swearing (Prompt #1) A Funking Piece of Ship
4 - I'd suggest switching around the order of the first paragraph. I think starting with the first sentence being something...
Undergraduatedwalone - Oct 30, 2017 / reserve - Nov 3, 2017
|Supplemental UK perspective you bring or experiences you bring you've had to help us understand you
3 - Lisa, you bring a unique perspective to the essay by simply telling the reviewer about your family background. The...
Undergraduatelmmwill1 - Nov 1, 2017 / Holt - Nov 2, 2017
|Growing up with an ill mom. My story
4 - @Holt Thanks, I will change that term. I am confused how this essay centered more on mom while I...
Undergraduaterabinpoudel1998 - Oct 31, 2017 / rabinpoudel1998 - Nov 1, 2017
|One paragraph about my favorite space.
3 - Paragraph consists of at least 5 sentences Always start your topic with simple and don't start your paragraph with...
Undergraduatetenkei - Oct 31, 2017 / federik - Nov 1, 2017
|Essay about an experience that helped shape my character.
4 - Arushi, this is not exactly an experience essay but more of a contemplative essay. So you did not properly...
Undergraduatearu1403 - Nov 1, 2017 / Holt - Nov 1, 2017
|Applying to the college of arts and sciences and becoming University of Pennsylvania alumni
3 - Hayley, try to avoid mentioning the obvious information in the essay that the reviewer will surely know about. In...
Undergraduatehalizawil - Oct 31, 2017 / Holt - Nov 1, 2017
|Negative Effects of Technology on Society Critical Analysis.
2 - The links you provided for access to the article do not work. Nothing is loading onto the page. So...
Undergraduatelonelymice - Oct 31, 2017 / Holt - Nov 1, 2017
|Supplemental essay for Brandeis: what could you talk about for hours?
3 - Anne, you don't really need to go into the creative narrative of your opening statement. That doesn't really work...
Undergraduatelycheepeach12 - Oct 31, 2017 / Holt - Oct 31, 2017
|Being Chinese and adopted set me apart from others, even in my own family. Common App Essay
4 - Jess, this is a very enlightening essay. Your essay is very warm and your conflict is evident on the...
Undergraduatejlee18 - Oct 29, 2017 / Holt - Oct 30, 2017
|Wellesley 100: Hilary Clinton (This is the first of 2 paragraph)
5 - @VictoriaSMITH I feel the two main ideas of the essay are: a challenging environment coupled with a caring environment....
UndergraduateVictoriaSMITH - Oct 30, 2017 / Chaarvi - Oct 30, 2017
|I fear looking in the mirror and not recognizing what I see. Yale supplement?
3 - Ishani, you really have shared a tremendous amount of information about yourself in this essay. However, the prompt and...
Undergraduateizo_218 - Oct 29, 2017 / Holt - Oct 30, 2017
|Linear Humans - Columbia Engineering Why School
UndergraduateYuxinGuan - Oct 29, 2017 / YuxinGuan - Oct 30, 2017
|As a Texas A&M student I'll have the chance to achieve the goals that I set for myself.
4 - @Holt Sorry! Below is the prompt. Describe your academic and career goals in the broad field of engineering...
Undergraduatejoeylo1212 - Oct 27, 2017 / joeylo1212 - Oct 29, 2017
|Guitar player - Essay about an interest you have pursued outside academic classes
3 - Uyen, you should revise the essay to first explain what drew you to guitar classes and why you decided...
Undergraduateuyenphuong - Oct 29, 2017 / Holt - Oct 29, 2017
|Your Betterment Is a Choice - Texas A&M Admission Essay Topic B
2 - Michael, this is a very good personal statement that shows the development of your interest in Osteopathy which, I...
UndergraduateMichaelTAMU - Oct 26, 2017 / Holt - Oct 27, 2017
|Help with my Statement of Purpose - ApplyTexas Topic A/UT Austin/International Undergrad Transfer
7 - Someone please help me, I'm in desperate need since I need to submit my essay as soon as possible!...
Undergraduatemarcellosln - Oct 10, 2017 / marcellosln - Oct 26, 2017
|Helping me to pursue my dream in Canada
4 - your assay is okay, general, I mean it's quite not outstanding from other candidates. Here's my suggestion find a...
Undergraduateannie_truong - Oct 25, 2017 / Patistrying - Oct 26, 2017
|My Essay for College Admission: Atlas. (Tell me how it sounds, and of course where to improve)
3 - Marcus this is an interesting story. Do you mean to use this essay for the open topic prompt? You...
Undergraduatemaureleus - Oct 26, 2017 / Holt - Oct 26, 2017
|A Common App essay about my life, my challenges and what makes me unique...
4 - Katelin, you need to provide me with a copy of the complete prompt that you are responding to because...
Undergraduatekatelinhand - Oct 25, 2017 / Holt - Oct 26, 2017
|Personal statement about the reason why I chose marketing -UK PS
UndergraduateYunqian Gan - Oct 25, 2017 / Holt - Oct 26, 2017
|UW College Essay: Family History/Cultural History --> Education Goals
3 - Isaiah, your family's experience is indeed rich and engrossing to learn about. Yet, somehow, the essay feels like it...
Undergraduateizay1018 - Oct 23, 2017 / Holt - Oct 25, 2017
|Mother - the person whose persistence and selflessness shape my every move.
Undergraduatebibliophile - Oct 24, 2017 / bibliophile - Oct 24, 2017
|Congressional Nomination Essay: Why I want to attend a Service Academy
2 - Celina, I strongly suggest that you remove the reference to your experience as a 7 year old stepping onto...
UndergraduateUSAFAH - Oct 24, 2017 / Holt - Oct 24, 2017
|U Chicago Debate Essay - Rise of Anti Intellectualism
3 - Cole, if the issue at hand is the rise of anti-intellectualism, then do not open the essay with discussions...
Undergraduatecole20133 - Oct 24, 2017 / Holt - Oct 24, 2017
|College essay on moving from one place to another back to back and my experience with it
5 - Rishan, there is something highly familiar about this essay. I seem to recall having edited this exact essay about...
UndergraduateGoofshanQ - Aug 29, 2017 / Holt - Oct 24, 2017
|My Love For Technology: Common App Essay #1
4 - Daniel, in response to your question, no, the new prompt that you decided to use is not applicable because...
UndergraduateDood76 - Oct 22, 2017 / Holt - Oct 23, 2017
|A few extra revelations about myself - USC additional essay
3 - Hi Holt, Thank you for the constructive criticism. I was confused because I wanted to use this topic, but...
Undergraduatedubtsai - Oct 21, 2017 / dubtsai - Oct 23, 2017
|Im applying for AUC in Egypt, and I would appreciate it if you take the time and look at my essay.
UndergraduateLujainne - Oct 22, 2017 / Holt - Oct 23, 2017
|Cornell School of Hotel Administration Essay, How Does It Look So Far? Does It Answer The Question?
5 - Hello, " The ability to spend over 800 hours actually working in real-world situations ensures that I'll be...
Undergraduatemaureleus - Oct 21, 2017 / admission2012 - Oct 22, 2017
|State educational and career goals and the reason for choosing your major
UndergraduateAg301187 - Oct 15, 2017 / Dood76 - Oct 22, 2017
|"Struggle in my hopeful soccer"-briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities
2 - Marcus, this is not really an effective extra curricular activity to share. An effective extra curricular activity shows how...
Undergraduateduynguyen1808 - Oct 21, 2017 / Holt - Oct 21, 2017
|What you might add to the Mac community, academically and personally?
3 - Hi Maddy, thank you for being an active participant in this forum. If you don't mind, I would like...
Undergraduatemadiefarts123 - Oct 20, 2017 / Holt - Oct 21, 2017
|A chance to describe yourself, your readiness for college, your pursuits and achievements
5 - @Holt Hi, thank you for the response! I knew I wasn't answering the prompt in the right way, but...
Undergraduateceely372 - Oct 19, 2017 / ceely372 - Oct 20, 2017
|The developed countries should share their wealth with the poor nations
3 - Hi Lubr, I suggest you focus on " should the nations share their wealth by providing such things as...
UndergraduateLUBR2310 - Oct 17, 2017 / Jimmy879873 - Oct 17, 2017
|Transfer essay about discovering the pharmaceutical field as a career path - Common App Prompt
3 - Wynante, the essay doesn't require you to make a list of all your unfulfilled career plans. You just need...
Undergraduatebloomdalerx - Oct 16, 2017 / Holt - Oct 17, 2017
|I learned to stand up for myself and for others. A meaningful story essay
3 - Jay, you had a strong story, however, I feel you did not express it in the most effective manner....
Undergraduatejay01 - Oct 16, 2017 / Rahma155 - Oct 16, 2017
|University of Washington Coalition essay: "Tell a story from your life..."
3 - Zhu, a true character building event in your life needs to replace the story that you are telling here....
Undergraduateziyuzhu12 - Oct 15, 2017 / Holt - Oct 16, 2017
|Common App Essay About My Friend That Moved - event that sparked a new understanding of myself
Undergraduatevh404930 - Oct 15, 2017 / Holt - Oct 16, 2017
|Macalester is a community that includes people from many different backgrounds
3 - Maddy, your essay is creating a racial divide on paper. You are only looking at the small picture here...
Undergraduatemadiefarts123 - Oct 15, 2017 / Holt - Oct 16, 2017
|Talking about improving lives in rural India with technology. Want to know if it's any good.
4 - salam rachit, i have read your essay. actually i'm still learning on how to make good paragraph and also...
Undergraduaterachit - Oct 13, 2017 / Ummu - Oct 16, 2017
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