|Undergraduate [25,517] - page 15 of 426|
|Teaching, Research, Service -- Lehigh and me
8 - Mualla, if i may make a suggestion. You can actually cut the current word count if you will sacrifice...
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 27, 2016
|Through soccer I comprehended the significance of 'team-work'
2 - @nandasharma The grammar seems pretty good; you put in semi colons and em dashes, my lit teacher would be...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Dec 26, 2016 / LoneLee - Dec 26, 2016
|'There is no point in going to college.' Why UChicago - Purpose of education
5 - Angela, the essay is too wordy, deviates from the prompt because you want to discuss points of quotation instead...
Undergraduateangeli6778 - Dec 26, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
|I'd be able to take my knowledge into practice in the real industry; Georgia Tech application
UndergraduateShraf39 - Dec 26, 2016 / Shraf39 - Dec 26, 2016
|AI and robotics. Common App Transfer Essay- There isn't any research related to my areas of interest
4 - Hareesh, you don't need to over complicate the essay by telling that anecdote at the start. Just get to...
UndergraduateAnon0 - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
|Never gonna give you up - Cal Tech supplement
2 - Hahaha! Andy, this is one heck of a way to spend your free time. Rickrolling is certainly going to...
UndergraduateLoneLee - Dec 26, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
|Reciting a poem backwards. Lehigh. You've just reached your one million hit on your youtube video.
7 - Alex, when you discuss this talent of yours, it is important that the reader understand the kind of audience...
Undergraduatealexgzm - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
|She knows what it feels like to be strong in STEM as a female. Barnard
5 - Mualla, at this point, you should make reference to how Katherine Johnson broke the glass ceiling by outperforming men...
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 26, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
|Common Application for both The Georgia Institution of Technology & the University of San Francisco
2 - Shawn, is the interest that you are sharing in this essay still related to your choice of college major?...
UndergraduateThe_iKick - Dec 26, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
|M-U-A-L-L-A If my name were an acronym...
3 - Mualla, this is great acronym. However, you should not be using one letter to specific 2 traits as you...
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 26, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
|College Essay about a story of me getting lost at Salzburg
4 - Hi, I think this modification is an improvement as it sort of ties the essay together better. Here are...
Undergraduatesweetsenior - Dec 26, 2016 / TJLuschen - Dec 26, 2016
|UVA essay- 250 word limit- a small engineering project to help a friend or family member.
3 - Matt, this is a very interesting project to present as a potential final year project for your major. At...
Undergraduatembyram - Dec 26, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
|Lafayette College Supplement: "Why Lafayette?" "Why do you do what you do?"
11 - Wow! You really managed a fantastic turn around in your response here. You really showed a great and keen...
Undergraduatenguyenlephuocloc - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 26, 2016
|Lehigh Supplement Essay -- Igloo Architecture?
6 - @Holt Thank you, currently I am replacing my second and third paragraph. Unfortunately, "why Lehigh," is not a...
Undergraduategaribari - Dec 24, 2016 / garibari - Dec 26, 2016
|Global UGRAD, "everyone can be great because everyone can serve"
UndergraduatePaulie - Dec 26, 2016 / Paulie - Dec 26, 2016
|I am an elastic and completely down-to-earth guy. A note to my future roommate. (250)
12 - Hi Nandasharma, Which one is higher? - the likelihood of an admission officer understands the word "hackathon"...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Dec 25, 2016 / mualla - Dec 26, 2016
|Education a distant dream. Common app essay for University admission
UndergraduateShiva123 - Dec 25, 2016 / Shiva123 - Dec 26, 2016
|Why Washington and Lee_"Is Lee the General?"
2 - The first paragraph doesn't do its job well, I think. If you learned about the school by talking with...
Undergraduatemartinmengqian - Dec 26, 2016 / ngokhoa99 - Dec 26, 2016
|UChicago Uncommon Prompt: Find X; the dichotomy between my family's culture and the Western culture
1 - Prompt: Find x. "Suggested" word limit: 500. The envelope, with a custom-made stamp and bold printed words, was...
Undergraduateangeli6778 - Dec 26, 2016 / — -
|Transfer:"it's time to continue my undergraduate education at a place that truly suits my interests"
2 - @skazo "it does not compare well to the rest of NYU" in what way? You should be more specific...
Undergraduateskazo - Dec 26, 2016 / angeli6778 - Dec 26, 2016
|Yale Supplement: Something you love to do: people-watching
3 - @Holt How's this revised version? (Context: Yale's residential halls all have a late-night cafe called the buttery that serve...
Undergraduateangeli6778 - Dec 24, 2016 / angeli6778 - Dec 26, 2016
|My Mother and our complicated relations - Common app and Coalition essay
UndergraduateLoneLee - Dec 26, 2016 / LoneLee - Dec 26, 2016
|"We engage the transformative power of our differences" Bates essay
2 - @abdulahok Hi Abdullah~ This essay includes enough information of Bates, which is a good aspect. However, I think it...
Undergraduateabdulahok - Dec 26, 2016 / martinmengqian - Dec 26, 2016
|Lehigh Essay. What do you and Lehigh have in common?
8 - @Holt Hey, I tried to change the last paragraph according to your comments, what do you think about...
Undergraduatealexgzm - Dec 24, 2016 / alexgzm - Dec 26, 2016
|Tufts Essays: What Will They Know About Me/What Can I Improve?
2 - @mgbseventeen Hi, I think you should remove two of your supplement essays because essayforum just allows one...
Undergraduatemgbseventeen - Dec 25, 2016 / mualla - Dec 25, 2016
|My faith diminished. CalTech Ethical Dilemma essay
2 - Nadun, your response is more suited towards prompts 1, 3, and 4. Any of those prompts can benefit from...
UndergraduateC00k1eM0nster - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Intersection of the Language and Mind - "Why NYU?" Supplement
5 - Kevin, in the last paragraph, you make mention of wishing to continue doing research at NYU. It would be...
Undergraduatekc1099 - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Why are you interested in attending Gatech
4 - Ngene, there is nothing in your essay that clearly indicates your choice for GAtech. You are speaking of information...
Undergraduategeniz - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|My birthmark (which I thought was malignant) fueled my scientific curiosity - Common App Essay
8 - @kc1099 Nope, it's good that you have ECs in research to back up your claim, and your essay is...
Undergraduatekc1099 - Dec 24, 2016 / angeli6778 - Dec 25, 2016
|Thrill interspersed with some doubts - CSID application
6 - I do apologize if my suggestion may inappropriate due to lack of writing skill ability. 1. Last sentence...
Undergraduateshuprova - Dec 25, 2016 / ahmadmaulinnaufa - Dec 25, 2016
|Global UGRAD - Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?
3 - @Holt Thank you for very constructive advice. I am certainly going to rewrite most of them and change the...
Undergraduatehuynhgialong1302 - Dec 25, 2016 / huynhgialong1302 - Dec 25, 2016
|Nepal matters. Am I on the right track of this essay ?
6 - Hi Nanda, Congratulations for being a concerned citizen and caring about your country's needs. Just re-phrasing what...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Dec 25, 2016 / mualla - Dec 25, 2016
|COLLABORATION AND THE TECHNOLOGICAL REVOLUTION
9 - I am not saying that one presentation would be better than the other. What I am saying is that...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Long division and logarithms are not for me - what in exchange?
5 - Shuprova, I believe the prompt demands a more critical condition when you were completely opposed towards a principle/idea...
Undergraduateshuprova - Dec 25, 2016 / nandasharma - Dec 25, 2016
|Is my personal statement "personal" enough? Does it tell the readers who I am? (Common App prompt 2)
5 - Khatan, well, don't trash this essay just yet. You may find it useful when you least expect it when...
Undergraduatekhatanbuuveibold - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Tufts supplement: Something that I created
Undergraduatengokhoa99 - Dec 24, 2016 / ngokhoa99 - Dec 25, 2016
|'Can I be the next team captain?' A bizarre situation and my reaction
Undergraduateshuprova - Dec 25, 2016 / nandasharma - Dec 25, 2016
|Yale Supplement: Having fun with learning something
5 - @Holt Thank you so much again! I will no doubt be seeking your critique many times in this last...
Undergraduateangeli6778 - Dec 24, 2016 / angeli6778 - Dec 25, 2016
|Rice Perspective Essay - Publishing My First Story
2 - Viktoria, you don't really respond to the prompt properly. What you have written is best suited for a background,...
Undergraduatevicktoriaria - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|The birth of an unprecedented lifetime bond. Amherst supplement quote response.
8 - Definitely your best work to date regarding the response to the prompt. It is as complete and concise as...
Undergraduatebenmed23 - Dec 20, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Interested in NYU Global Public Health - Culture and Health!
4 - Dana, believe it or not, your final paragraph in the current essay is the best response that you can...
Undergraduatec4imlle - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
|UGRAD. Learning through sharing experience and knowledge with other individual, group and community
UndergraduateMehraz Hossain - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
|Rice University Perspective Essay - Being Too Young.
2 - Lyssa, look, you have told too much of the bad side of being an underage person in your country...
Undergraduateshevildevil - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
|Particular interest in economics and psychology - Cornell Supplement
5 - Sung, don't do that. Always develop a new essay for each university, even if it pertains to the same...
Undergraduateraijin93 - Dec 23, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
|The photography breaks linguistic and cultural barriers
3 - Nicholas, this essay in my opinion, is divided in focus. It talks more about your camera and your experiences...
Undergraduatenicolaschae - Dec 23, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
|Unworthy Champion - the National Competition
4 - Huy, you don't really need the long explanation about UCMAS in the second paragraph. It only makes the essay...
Undergraduateduchuy1999 - Dec 23, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
|A support system to succeed at Georgia Tech
UndergraduateJuanSebastianR - Dec 23, 2016 / JuanSebastianR - Dec 23, 2016
|Why Tufts: On religions and compassions
26 - Okay. Thank you!...
Undergraduatengokhoa99 - Dec 21, 2016 / ngokhoa99 - Dec 23, 2016
|'Hospital hallways' - supplement- Academic goals
3 - You should perhaps mention the issues related to unborn babies and how you would fight for their rights to...
Undergraduatekarinaestrada16 - Oct 17, 2012 / Rich Monte - Dec 23, 2016
|The eagerness to know and try many different things - personal statement
Undergraduateradwatourky - Dec 23, 2016 / — -
|Leaving China and seeking for a greater perspective - transfer essay, CS major, Common app
2 - Moahua, The story about the eye opening experience that you had in summer school does run a bit long...
UndergraduateEthanwmh - Dec 23, 2016 / Holt - Dec 23, 2016
|Barnard college supplemtals//Why Barnard//Woman in History//Majoring in Unafraid
2 - Breonna, the forum has a one essay per thread ruling. That means I can only review the first essay...
Undergraduatebosuegbu - Dec 23, 2016 / Holt - Dec 23, 2016
|My blackness. Common Application Essay: Problem you'd like to solve - limiting circumstances
4 - Breonna, rather than making a socio-political statement in this essay, you should be focusing your story on the possible...
Undergraduatebosuegbu - Dec 22, 2016 / Holt - Dec 23, 2016
|Rampant cheating; everyone reaped what they sowed. Caltech ethical dilemma Essay
3 - Yamen, the reason that this essay is underwhelming when you read it is because you decided not to do...
UndergraduateBobRoss - Dec 22, 2016 / Holt - Dec 23, 2016
|Etcetera: the most mysterious word in the English language.
4 - Exactly. Prove that you can do it by showing. Not just telling. When you tell someone, there can be...
Undergraduatembyram - Dec 22, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
|How being Asian American has made me who I am
2 - Wang, what are we talking about here? Are you responding to a college application prompt? Or is this an...
Undergraduateth3_wang - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
|My role as the first child of my family
UndergraduateOsiremiza99 - Dec 21, 2016 / Osiremiza99 - Dec 22, 2016
|CHANGE AMERICA SCHOLARSHIP - FILM and Television major
3 - I agree with Holt. You should stick to one specific cause that is very meaningful to you and talk...
UndergraduateiSasha - Dec 21, 2016 / mubdis99 - Dec 22, 2016
|Common App Essay: My experience as a Volunteer EMT
4 - Neena, cut this paragraph. Make it end at the point where you discuss Biomedical Engineering. That offers the most...
UndergraduateNEENA1234 - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
|UIUC-Transfer Essay- Talk about your motivation and how will the university help fulfill your goals
4 - Johnny, do not talk about the cost of education as you have in your last paragraph. That is irrelevant...
UndergraduateJo1nnyJiang - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
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