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|Lennon' song told me to "imagine" peace and the prospect of "one" world, all I could feel was regret
3 - How cool is that??? your country I mean!! Typo in last sentence in first paragraph - the FIRST three...
UndergraduateNnorbu - Oct 18, 2012 / linmark - Nov 4, 2012
|Molecular Building Blocks - Princeton Common App Essay
3 - Aside from the damage caused and the expense you couldn't afford to incur again, what else did you learn...
Undergraduatevoteforandy1 - Oct 21, 2012 / linmark - Nov 4, 2012
|'an individual, or man, and a state' - Application EC short answer
2 - Here are some ideas for changing your wording a bit, nice work on this though, you have many good...
Undergraduatesw39ym - Nov 4, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 4, 2012
|Parallels in Cultural Diversity and Diversity of thought (Common App Essay #5)
2 - Yes, your essay stays "on prompt" - but you need to state what this is in your opening paragraph...
Undergraduateinurbanity - Oct 12, 2012 / linmark - Nov 4, 2012
|Common App Essay 1. Significant Risk and its impact. "Business adventure"
2 - Yes, it answers the prompt and yes, the second and third paraagraph is way to wordy. Get to the...
Undergraduatebryantjet - Oct 14, 2012 / linmark - Nov 4, 2012
|'My dad and fighting personality' - someone who has made and impact on you and why?
2 - Yep - your essay resonates with maturity. Its solid as a Comm app. You make forgiveness sound so easy...
Undergraduatej3elam - Oct 21, 2012 / linmark - Nov 4, 2012
|'National Hispanic Scholar' Essay about achieving goals (Apply Texas-Topic C)
2 - You have only listed all the things that you have done in high school year to get into National...
Undergraduatejpdominguez94 - Oct 10, 2012 / ljy9152 - Nov 4, 2012
|Common App Personal Essay-Laziness
UndergraduateMentleGentlemen - Oct 21, 2012 / linmark - Nov 4, 2012
|UC prompt 1 about working at a museum and daughter of teenage parents
2 - Really wonderful essay. I strongly encourage you to look into taking Curatorship as a major in Art. Look up...
Undergraduateazrei - Oct 13, 2012 / linmark - Nov 4, 2012
|The Dragon Within
3 - Very cool, very funny - some typos you need to correct, but ideas are all bang-on!! Suggest you start...
Undergraduatemunir ali - Oct 14, 2012 / linmark - Nov 4, 2012
|Select a local, regional, national or global prole and propose a feasible solution...
Undergraduateshailendra redd - Oct 12, 2012 / linmark - Nov 4, 2012
|UNC Essay - The Power of Positivity (Applying Early Action)
2 - I really liked your preferred course. To make the essay clearer, please consider adding in the content (first sentence...
Undergraduatesmminkin - Oct 10, 2012 / linmark - Nov 4, 2012
|(The Determined Businessman / High School Dilemmas) entrance A & B
2 - The first essay on your dad: -end sentence in first paragraph - how well he has copeD -third paragraph,...
Undergraduatebrian0419 - Oct 8, 2012 / linmark - Nov 4, 2012
|"All they wanted was a better life for you" ; The Dream, the Seed, and the Fruits.
7 - Hi :) I think your essay is written very well. I can't find any mistakes. You seem very mature...
Undergraduatehiiamyu13 - Nov 2, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 4, 2012
|University of Michigan Supplemental Short Answer
2 - Hello Grace, Nice food imagery - whets the appetite. But aside from variety (specifically history, science, literature in second...
UndergraduateGraceDL - Oct 17, 2012 / linmark - Nov 4, 2012
|'academic programs of biology and classics' - Cornell Supplement Essay
5 - I think its amazing and mentioning both bio ansd the classics show that you are a round person of...
Undergraduatebella2489 - Nov 2, 2012 / Phoebe Africa - Nov 4, 2012
|'25 years of hidden solitude' - UChicago Response - Where's Waldo?
Undergraduatecombo32 - Oct 30, 2012 / RubyChee - Nov 3, 2012
|Common App extracurricular essay - hospital volunteer
2 - I feel you should establish a link between these two sentences to arrange your flow of ideas. E.g....
Undergraduateshl348 - Nov 3, 2012 / dumi - Nov 3, 2012
|Music shapes me, makes me fearless; Topic of Your Choice (for Princeton App)
4 - Is there anyone experience or hardship related to music that you have had to overcome? Eg. Your first performance,your...
Undergraduatevoteforandy1 - Oct 31, 2012 / Phoebe Africa - Nov 3, 2012
|My mother is a woman of multifarious personalities; she has made an impact on me
2 - Hey,I hope I can help. Here's my opinion: 1. Your introduction! It is very typical and doesn't hook...
Undergraduatevali001 - Nov 3, 2012 / Phoebe Africa - Nov 3, 2012
|Teen Smoking - Extra-Curricular Common App Essay
UndergraduateLemonsnout - Oct 21, 2012 / Lemonsnout - Nov 3, 2012
|UC Application College Prompt #1
3 - I agree with Memona that you had some great experience listed. I am not clear what program you are...
Undergraduatelawldmswldms - Nov 3, 2012 / MPH2013 - Nov 3, 2012
|Personal Statement for MPH application
UndergraduateMPH2013 - Nov 3, 2012 / MPH2013 - Nov 3, 2012
|Is education is more important than experience to be success in the area work?
UndergraduateAHMED84 - Nov 2, 2012 / AHMED84 - Nov 3, 2012
|"Our motto is Ut Prosim" - Virginia Tech Application Essays
4 - The beginning of the sentence is slightly awkward. Also, you might want to think of your word choice...
Undergraduatelegonigel - Oct 12, 2012 / michellexphamm - Nov 3, 2012
|Common app essay on the topic of accent.
2 - The essay is well-written, despite a few small mistakes: "If I am conversing..." goes with "...my accent becomes..." not...
UndergraduateVvictor - Oct 14, 2012 / ijiboom - Nov 3, 2012
|'scholarly warriors' - Stanford - Intellectual vitality
3 - Lovely essay! 1. I think you should say just a little more about this intriguing community of intellects...
UndergraduateDelxysic - Oct 15, 2012 / Phoebe Africa - Nov 3, 2012
|Common App (Extracurriculars/ Activities) essay - comments & suggestions
2 - That's a really good and touching essay. But i guess you have exceeded the word limit. Try to sort...
Undergraduateksade16 - Nov 2, 2012 / jineshwar1995 - Nov 3, 2012
|'Hyde Park and My Dream' - Why UChicago
Undergraduatehistoryfreak13 - Nov 1, 2012 / collegebound123 - Nov 3, 2012
|A Story of Rejection (NYU Supplement - What are your academic interests?)
4 - Cute and different! But you might want to check on your grammar, especially if you're going to point...
Undergraduatebg94 - Oct 29, 2012 / michellexphamm - Nov 3, 2012
|Common App Extracurricular Short Answer - Rowing
6 - It took me a while to realize what your first stanza was even about. I thought someone was getting...
Undergraduateskier95 - Oct 31, 2012 / michellexphamm - Nov 3, 2012
|Harry Potter / Hunger Games - My University of Chicago Supplement essay
Undergraduatehistoryfreak13 - Oct 28, 2012 / Heina - Nov 3, 2012
|Need help on personal essay for slp graduate school
3 - Oh ok. How about: Imagine that you are going in for sinus surgery only to find out that you're...
Undergraduategraduatehopeful - Nov 2, 2012 / graduatehopeful - Nov 2, 2012
|'Sojourn to the Past'- Common App Essay-My Ideas
3 - :OOOOOO wow, a speaker actually came to my school and talked about sojourn to the past but he was...
Undergraduatejaniceli - Oct 27, 2012 / lklklk124 - Nov 2, 2012
|'creative and imaginative person' - Common app Supplement for film major
3 - hey karlacnavas721! thank you a lot for your help. I really appreciate you taking your time to gve me...
Undergraduatelilac1 - Nov 2, 2012 / lilac1 - Nov 2, 2012
|Babies Youth Children Empowerment - seeking help with my little essay!
2 - Here are some grammatical you could fix: The comma after tutor should be a semi colon. Also when you...
Undergraduatejuliatkachenko - Nov 2, 2012 / magoc_conch - Nov 2, 2012
|'Changing your road towards success' - Never Give Up essay
3 - Here are some grammatical errors that should be changed. Urgence in the 4th line of second paragraph needs to...
UndergraduateJue - Oct 9, 2012 / magoc_conch - Nov 2, 2012
|"Thoreau"---Describe an intellectual experience (Harvard Supplemental Essay)
2 - Great introduction! I love how you charmingly display your knowledge of the book without slapping me in the face...
Undergraduatemjd2195 - Oct 8, 2012 / Phoebe Africa - Nov 2, 2012
|Common App Essay- The Linguistic Divide, Inside and Out
Undergraduatetimobxsci - Oct 27, 2012 / timobxsci - Nov 2, 2012
|'Tennis -- determination and perseverance' - Common App Short
2 - While this essay definitely gets across your passion for tennis, it has a few fixable flaws. ~In the...
Undergraduaterezwan3 - Nov 1, 2012 / blquandt - Nov 2, 2012
|Undergrad essay needs help for evaluate
2 - Some people don't believe in luck for their success. I, ---No comma here--- personally think you need both,...
UndergraduateDcool - Oct 17, 2012 / EF_Susan - Nov 2, 2012
2 - I understand that your company wants to build a bio-mass plant in your company . ---Did you mean to...
Undergraduateedoggy413 - Oct 17, 2012 / EF_Susan - Nov 1, 2012
|'Years of being looked down upon have changed my life' (Personal Statement)
2 - I quickly then responded, "No Professor Lim! I'm actually 17 years old." I was always the shortest girl...
Undergraduatexmunchkiinz - Oct 17, 2012 / EF_Susan - Nov 1, 2012
|'Wrestling helped me' - Experience essay prompt - UF
UndergraduateSimonUF - Nov 1, 2012 / dumi - Nov 1, 2012
|Common App: Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern
5 - i like the topic but you should make it more personal. why exactly is becoming a doctor so important...
UndergraduateAustendude - Oct 31, 2012 / einahpetSssiM - Nov 1, 2012
|'That Was Then' - my Common App essay!
2 - I like how you're open about your problems and colleges love that but try and talk about your self...
Undergraduaterockstarelite - Oct 13, 2012 / OVODiana - Nov 1, 2012
|What unique characteristics fit for college? ( famu)..250 words!
Undergraduatestevencia - Oct 30, 2012 / rezwan3 - Nov 1, 2012
|Essay about becoming a vegetarian - feedback (500 words)?
3 - Thank you so much! I've been known to be a comma abuser, haha! But thank you for the positive...
Undergraduatemalaikaiyer - Nov 1, 2012 / malaikaiyer - Nov 1, 2012
|'astronomical concepts' - CUNY HONORS ESSAY
NEW - The bell rang as the harbinger of life. My heart starts beating faster and faster as I anxiously wait...
Undergraduaterezwan3 - Nov 1, 2012 / — -
|University of Florida Essay - Senior Patrol Leader - feedback
Undergraduatetreesonfire - Nov 1, 2012 / MirandaPanda - Nov 1, 2012
|Personal Statement University of California Prompt #1 EECS Computer Science
2 - I might have gotten to this essay too late--sorry if that's the case. It's hard not to check the...
Undergraduatejuancafe2 - Oct 8, 2012 / sleepyizme - Nov 1, 2012
|'Grandfather's struggle with his affliction' - Common app essay
Undergraduatekeroro - Oct 31, 2012 / keroro - Nov 1, 2012
|Dribble, pull up, and shoot. Deeper into the Game - UC Prompt 2
Undergraduatekathytheson - Oct 14, 2012 / EF_Susan - Nov 1, 2012
|Significant Experience Essay: Road Trip
Undergraduatemstevenson - Oct 31, 2012 / mstevenson - Nov 1, 2012
|Work for company or work in own business ?
UndergraduateAzeroglu - Oct 31, 2012 / Azeroglu - Nov 1, 2012
|Cornell Hotel School Supplement Essay; 'captivated by the glamorous hotel life'
2 - I think u did this wonderfully. THough I would add some aspects of show not tell in some parts,...
Undergraduatecollegebound123 - Oct 30, 2012 / historyfreak13 - Nov 1, 2012
|'Love affair with small dogs' - Common app extracurricular essay
Undergraduatekeroro - Oct 31, 2012 / keroro - Nov 1, 2012
|Reviving the Victory Garden - English 102 Research Paper
UndergraduateSarahi - Oct 2, 2012 / EF_Susan - Nov 1, 2012
|Common App Extracirricular Essay: Mock Trial
3 - The extracurricular essay has a 1000 character limit, not a 1000 word limit. Yours has 2,183 characters......
Undergraduatehr5556 - Oct 13, 2012 / awolfatthedoor - Nov 1, 2012
|"A straight-A Student"-Stanford Supplement Letter to your roommate
4 - To me the first sentence makes you seem like you are a bit narcissistic. However, your paragraph made me...
UndergraduateHamsilious - Oct 30, 2012 / collegebound123 - Nov 1, 2012
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