|Undergraduate [25,738] - page 152 of 429|
|Flagler College: past experience present and future goals
Undergraduatebethany3 - Oct 31, 2012 / admission2012 - Oct 31, 2012
|MIT: Favorite personality trait? (Sense of humor.. Hopefully with a twist)
3 - I'm not sure what you meant here,you should revise that sentence. Other than that, it's decent. It gets...
Undergraduatexamanda - Oct 31, 2012 / bhoppe - Oct 31, 2012
|Oddball / the end zone - trying for Stanford early action
4 - On another side, you have a guy whose passion for sports (in particular, Cardinal football) often reaches a level...
Undergraduatepjbrida - Oct 30, 2012 / musicmalay - Oct 31, 2012
|"Japanese lang" - briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities
Undergraduate509cr7 - Oct 31, 2012 / Azeroglu - Oct 31, 2012
|Help me!! Short essay for Common app
5 - For this essay they are just looking for what you participated in and how it benfitted you as a...
UndergraduateMarlinHelsel - Oct 30, 2012 / hobak135 - Oct 30, 2012
|"Once you start, you are already half-way done." Common App Essay
4 - The essay is really well written, but I agree that you should include an anecdote about how he inspired...
Undergraduatepoppyroll - Oct 30, 2012 / HC2013 - Oct 30, 2012
|"The beauty of your dreams" PTCAS admissions essay
2 - Be careful of your change of narration, switching between first second and third makes your essay seem choppy and...
Undergraduateariccardi14 - Oct 30, 2012 / HC2013 - Oct 30, 2012
|Waldo Prompt for UChicago Essay, the waldo that lives within you?
2 - I like your concept. I would suggest being more specific in some of your concepts because there are alot...
Undergraduateabhaya - Oct 30, 2012 / historyfreak13 - Oct 30, 2012
|Stanford "What matters to you" essay -- drama club
5 - I suggest rather than telling us what you felt and listing everything, that you show rather than tell what...
Undergraduateaqedwsf - Oct 30, 2012 / historyfreak13 - Oct 30, 2012
|'Meeting my new teachers' - Common App Topic of choice
3 - Great Topic! I like your wording throughout the essay. Something you could do to make it better is eliminate...
UndergraduateHC2013 - Oct 30, 2012 / dpatel95 - Oct 30, 2012
|'Upward' - Common App: Write about an extracurricular (1000 characters)
5 - I agree that the last sentence could be deleted. It takes away from the clarity of the essay. Otherwise,...
Undergraduatedealaus - Oct 29, 2012 / HC2013 - Oct 30, 2012
|Is this Essay appropriate for the Common Application?
UndergraduateLipstain22 - Oct 29, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 30, 2012
|Culinary Institute of America Essay: Who Influences You?
3 - I agree with the first post The first sentence needs to be changed because because the body of this...
Undergraduatelissirae - Oct 30, 2012 / jbaca - Oct 30, 2012
|'desire to learn finance' - Illinois essay
2 - Don't forget to mention how your experience working relates to your future goals. It would be appropriate to mention...
Undergraduatelucy123 - Oct 27, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 30, 2012
|"The CALL": Carnegie Mellon supplement: why CMU? ANY critiques? >:D
3 - Hi admission2012! Even though I said any harsh critiques are welcome, I still died a little inside when I...
UndergraduateLina101 - Oct 30, 2012 / Lina101 - Oct 30, 2012
|Fordham Essay - Describe a significant life experience; 'Losing someone in life'
2 - You mention how you still "feel every ounce of pain and grief." Make sure that you change the rest...
Undergraduatecgraves0107 - Oct 30, 2012 / poppyroll - Oct 30, 2012
|a special ability with music
2 - Instead of talking about violence and substance abuse, he decides to use his music to in order to show...
Undergraduateramenbowl95 - Oct 30, 2012 / EF_Susan - Oct 30, 2012
|'knowledge and wisdom / Ordinary people / Catholic student' - Notre Dame Supplements
3 - On number 1, don't restate "in my opinion" and go straight to the point. It will show that you...
Undergraduatetannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012 / mystictiger - Oct 30, 2012
|'It stared back at me and I stared back at it' - Common Application Essay
Undergraduatemystictiger - Oct 29, 2012 / mystictiger - Oct 30, 2012
|Major in unafraid- Barnard supplemental essay
UndergraduateDearcollege2013 - Oct 26, 2012 / Dearcollege2013 - Oct 30, 2012
|'the Alfa Romeo nears completion' - Common App Essay (Prompt #1)
2 - Hello, I think this is a good essay however, the reader has to wait until the third paragraph...
Undergraduaterickfoop - Oct 29, 2012 / admission2012 - Oct 30, 2012
|'Brazil school games' - USC Extracurricular activity
Undergraduatepperotti - Oct 30, 2012 / admission2012 - Oct 30, 2012
|Yale motivation - What do you think?
Undergraduatepitchulinha - Oct 30, 2012 / admission2012 - Oct 30, 2012
|Stanford- Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you.
3 - Hey, Overall, it's a good essay, except for a few grammar errors and wording issues. "In advance, I warn...
Undergraduateesnom_ - Oct 29, 2012 / OptimistPRIM3 - Oct 30, 2012
|'The negative energy exiting my body' - Common App Short
3 - You sound very contradicting in your short answer. At one point you say you turn your mind off to...
Undergraduateshmegg - Oct 29, 2012 / SyntaxVoid - Oct 29, 2012
|"Innocence" - Stanford CommonApp Essay #3
Undergraduatetannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012 / tannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012
|'A normal school environment' - Stanford Supplement Essay #1- revision
2 - Wow this is a solid and very well-written essay! I can't help but thinking that you should add a...
Undergraduatepjbrida - Oct 28, 2012 / tannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012
|University of South Florida Essay about extracurricular achievements--feedback
2 - There is an internal metronome ticking inside of me [the thing that makes this sentence sound awkward is that...
UndergraduateAshleighIsobel - Oct 28, 2012 / hayhill - Oct 29, 2012
|Short Response: Working at Chick-fil-a
4 - It is definitely evident in your response that Chick-fil-a has made quite the impact on your life. Estherthen did...
UndergraduateFutureScholar - Oct 27, 2012 / pjbrida - Oct 29, 2012
|'City boy / Career in media' - Syracuse University Supplements
7 - get rid of because in the last sentence and change the semicolon to a comma and you're golden....
UndergraduateLemonsnout - Oct 27, 2012 / dealaus - Oct 29, 2012
|"MY STUFF" - Stanford CommonApp Essay #2
Undergraduatetannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012 / tannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012
|"The Dam" - Stanford CommonApp Essay #1
6 - Much better....
Undergraduatetannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012 / dealaus - Oct 29, 2012
|'Race, my favorite event' - Common App Essay - An experience that affected you
Undergraduatedealaus - Oct 26, 2012 / tannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012
|1000 character Common App Extracurricular - Track
Undergraduatehiiamyu13 - Oct 29, 2012 / hiiamyu13 - Oct 29, 2012
|'I kept my opinions to myself' - National Merit Essay: Influential Person
2 - I think for a beginning paper, this essay is very good! Like you said in the beginning, you may...
Undergraduatedrunkardsdream - Oct 29, 2012 / tannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012
|'Virginia Discovery Museum' - Common app extracurricular essay
3 - I think its really good! :) It has the descriptive details and specific analysis of what was going through...
Undergraduatejoiedelire - Oct 29, 2012 / Lina101 - Oct 29, 2012
|His kidneys are failing, his blood pressure is dropping. - HouseMD Personal Statement
UndergraduateBsengun - Oct 28, 2012 / Bsengun - Oct 29, 2012
|MIT: Playing the piano has always been a pleasure, a strength and a passion for me
Undergraduateaarkebauer - Oct 28, 2012 / hiiamyu13 - Oct 29, 2012
|"My Passion for Wrestling" - Common App 1000 character (HELP)
Undergraduatemhk1294 - Oct 22, 2012 / mhk1294 - Oct 29, 2012
|UMCP: "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." Essay
UndergraduateAayush13 - Oct 28, 2012 / Aayush13 - Oct 29, 2012
|'Never stop learning' - Common App Essay
UndergraduateEvan - Oct 28, 2012 / saddeo - Oct 29, 2012
|'exposure to domestic violence' - MIT short essay: Your World
3 - Jennyflower81: Thanks so much! it was really helpful! I tried to edit it so would you mind taking a...
UndergraduateLina101 - Oct 29, 2012 / Lina101 - Oct 29, 2012
|'playing with Hot Wheels cars' - Essay for Common App: Most influential person
4 - Hey, I really liked your essay. It fit the prompt nicely and kept the reader's attention. Though, since you...
Undergraduateasiantigeryoon - Oct 29, 2012 / Evan - Oct 29, 2012
|Quick Essay about volunteering! 'member of the Villanova community'
NEW - Prompt: One of the principles of Villanova, as an Augustinian university founded on the teachings of St. Augustine, is...
Undergraduatemaggiemay - Oct 29, 2012 / — -
|Barnard Supplement Essays: Why Barnard?; Unafraid; Perspective; Woman
3 - just comments here, your opening statement is strong it diferentes the school, but i dont really care for the...
Undergraduatebullmoose - Oct 2, 2012 / alecblumenfeld - Oct 29, 2012
|SOP for MS in computer science - All critisms are welcomed
Undergraduatefall2013 - Oct 2, 2012 / charmoula - Oct 29, 2012
|"Let your life speak." - environment I was raised in
2 - I do like your essay a lot, it captures many aspects of your personality in relation to your environment....
UndergraduateGuest - Oct 29, 2012 / Enabledowner - Oct 29, 2012
|'Keep waiting' - Stanford Essay to my room mate.... Charley te t33.
Undergraduateriskatun - Oct 3, 2012 / KhanhZ - Oct 29, 2012
|1000 Character Common App Question--Piano
2 - and sheriffs , and I'd say find a way to maybe make the last two sentences flow together better....
Undergraduateyehitsjonathan - Oct 28, 2012 / cgivens6 - Oct 28, 2012
|'Chemistry and Mathematics' - UChicago supplement
2 - I love the concept behind your essay! Very interesting. I do think, though, that a lot of your commentary...
Undergraduatehistoryfreak13 - Oct 28, 2012 / cgivens6 - Oct 28, 2012
|'The sheer amount of complications' - CORNELL School of Engineering Supplement
4 - instead: Cornell University will not only prepare me for the path of being an engineer, but also ...
Undergraduatenilycul - Oct 28, 2012 / yehitsjonathan - Oct 28, 2012
|University of Chicago Supplement essay; Goethe quote
NEW - Question 1. How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular...
UndergraduateNew Baldwin2134 - Oct 28, 2012 / — -
|Common Application Essay! Irish dance class at the age of four
5 - You go into a loooooot of specifics without tying them all together with some underlying theme. In your essay,...
Undergraduatemaggiemay - Oct 28, 2012 / lklklk124 - Oct 28, 2012
|Advances in computer technology have made the classroom unnecessary
2 - Usually you can maintain a reader's interest if you use transitions that more suitably set up the mood or...
UndergraduatePPST Writing 1 - Oct 3, 2012 / Evan - Oct 28, 2012
|Essay on Personal Impact of Athletic Events
2 - Hey, What is this essay for? (Common app, supplement, etc.) Well I really like everything you have...
Undergraduateahoogland - Oct 28, 2012 / kashmoney - Oct 28, 2012
|UC "Describe a Quality" Short Essay. 300~ words. Any advice?
6 - This essay is really nice. It's nice that I can feel that you're really passionate about brains and things....
Undergraduatelklklk124 - Sep 15, 2012 / janiceli - Oct 28, 2012
|UF Essay- "Citizen of the World"
UndergraduateFutureScholar - Oct 27, 2012 / nilycul - Oct 28, 2012
|'all of my failures centered around one thing, learning' FSU Admissions Essay
4 - Here are your options: I have always been told "If you try your hardest you're still a winner"...
Undergraduateannahpyra - Sep 28, 2012 / ahoogland - Oct 28, 2012
|essay on cell phone dependance.what else could i add?
2 - Hello, This essay is nice because it gives a lot of concrete evidence. But what are you writing...
Undergraduatethejunior - Oct 28, 2012 / glady91 - Oct 28, 2012
|PU Influential Person Essay HELP
3 - well early on, I think it is about me (constantly being told not to play but having the willpower...
Undergraduatekashmoney - Oct 28, 2012 / kashmoney - Oct 28, 2012
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