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|'astronomical concepts' - CUNY HONORS ESSAY
NEW - The bell rang as the harbinger of life. My heart starts beating faster and faster as I anxiously wait...
Undergraduaterezwan3 - Nov 1, 2012 / — -
|University of Florida Essay - Senior Patrol Leader - feedback
Undergraduatetreesonfire - Nov 1, 2012 / MirandaPanda - Nov 1, 2012
|Personal Statement University of California Prompt #1 EECS Computer Science
2 - I might have gotten to this essay too late--sorry if that's the case. It's hard not to check the...
Undergraduatejuancafe2 - Oct 8, 2012 / sleepyizme - Nov 1, 2012
|'Grandfather's struggle with his affliction' - Common app essay
Undergraduatekeroro - Oct 31, 2012 / keroro - Nov 1, 2012
|Dribble, pull up, and shoot. Deeper into the Game - UC Prompt 2
Undergraduatekathytheson - Oct 14, 2012 / EF_Susan - Nov 1, 2012
|Significant Experience Essay: Road Trip
Undergraduatemstevenson - Oct 31, 2012 / mstevenson - Nov 1, 2012
|Work for company or work in own business ?
UndergraduateAzeroglu - Oct 31, 2012 / Azeroglu - Nov 1, 2012
|Cornell Hotel School Supplement Essay; 'captivated by the glamorous hotel life'
2 - I think u did this wonderfully. THough I would add some aspects of show not tell in some parts,...
Undergraduatecollegebound123 - Oct 30, 2012 / historyfreak13 - Nov 1, 2012
|'Love affair with small dogs' - Common app extracurricular essay
Undergraduatekeroro - Oct 31, 2012 / keroro - Nov 1, 2012
|Common App Extracirricular Essay: Mock Trial
3 - The extracurricular essay has a 1000 character limit, not a 1000 word limit. Yours has 2,183 characters......
Undergraduatehr5556 - Oct 13, 2012 / awolfatthedoor - Nov 1, 2012
|"A straight-A Student"-Stanford Supplement Letter to your roommate
4 - To me the first sentence makes you seem like you are a bit narcissistic. However, your paragraph made me...
UndergraduateHamsilious - Oct 30, 2012 / collegebound123 - Nov 1, 2012
|Capitilizing on others mistakes, and turning them into advantages for me.
Undergraduatetannerazm - Oct 30, 2012 / Obaid Allah - Nov 1, 2012
|UF- UNDERGRAD ESSAY! Any advice would be great.
Undergraduatelinamlo - Oct 31, 2012 / tannerazm - Oct 31, 2012
|What are your thoughts on the idea that neither time nor opportunity can determine in
UndergraduateObaid Allah - Oct 31, 2012 / tannerazm - Oct 31, 2012
|Live Long and Prosper Through Good Nutrition - Essay Topic B
3 - Very good essay! I am thinking of writing one about obesity also! Which college are you sending it to?...
Undergraduatecgivens6 - Oct 28, 2012 / snowzone00 - Oct 31, 2012
|Undergrad reinstatement essay. I'm rusty. Any corrections or ideas welcome.
2 - Wow! You have definitely faced serious adversity, and I think it is lovely that you and your family have...
UndergraduateRDRobinson - Oct 5, 2012 / sogoldman - Oct 31, 2012
|Strange? Indeed; Stanford Roommate Letter
Undergraduateaqedwsf - Oct 30, 2012 / aqedwsf - Oct 31, 2012
|Extracurricular Short Answer on being a chinese school teaching assistant
2 - Maybe try starting the essay with a clear description of TA-ing a class.. "I had such fond memories there...
UndergraduateMaxterXL - Oct 31, 2012 / shl348 - Oct 31, 2012
|Here I sit,existent,casually typing a college admissions essay :NYU/what intrigues?
2 - To me, it was hard to follow. ALso, word of advice, NEVER include that you're writing your essay....
Undergraduatebellacose - Oct 31, 2012 / dealaus - Oct 31, 2012
|'I have two families' - Michigan Supplement #1 ~ Community
2 - It is good! Although, the only advice I have is to skip on the part about your friends' names....
Undergraduateblquandt - Oct 31, 2012 / dealaus - Oct 31, 2012
|'the midst of Track season' - Apply Texas Essay A - an impact on your life critique
Undergraduatebritttt4 - Oct 31, 2012 / — -
|"My Inspiration" - Common App Essay critique
4 - @admissions2012 Okay so my topic chosen was 'Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you,...
Undergraduatelilica12 - Aug 23, 2012 / lilica12 - Oct 31, 2012
|'research and internship opportunities' - Johns Hopkins - supplement #1
Undergraduatedraine095 - Oct 31, 2012 / ilyd3bby - Oct 31, 2012
|'the field of aeronautics and astronautics' - MIT: Describe the world you come from
Undergraduateaarkebauer - Oct 31, 2012 / ilyd3bby - Oct 31, 2012
|Essay-help my english
3 - Thank you. When we write essays in school, we have 45 minutes to write something. I have probelm with...
Undergraduatemike1973 - Oct 30, 2012 / mike1973 - Oct 31, 2012
|The game of GOLF; MIT/ Significant challenge you've faced
Undergraduateaarkebauer - Oct 30, 2012 / aarkebauer - Oct 31, 2012
|'We love you from Brazil to California' - USC essay
2 - "We are only doing this because we love you". Those were the last words my father said before I...
Undergraduateipanema901 - Oct 31, 2012 / candycanetina - Oct 31, 2012
|Better off Dead- Introduce Yourself Essay
3 - It has meaning no doubt, but do consider if you want the admission officer to know this story. I'm...
Undergraduatebhoppe - Oct 31, 2012 / Jayashree95 - Oct 31, 2012
|"The Kind of People in My Life" - What matters to me Stanford
3 - The tone seems a bit too serious. Maybe lighten it? Also don't you mean pursue your dreams? And I...
UndergraduateDropAvenue - Oct 30, 2012 / Jayashree95 - Oct 31, 2012
|'An environmental technology company' - Michigan ~ Ross School of Business
2 - Hello, This essay is pretty solid. You hit most of the "must haves" for an admissions essay. You...
Undergraduateblquandt - Oct 31, 2012 / admission2012 - Oct 31, 2012
|Flagler College: past experience present and future goals
Undergraduatebethany3 - Oct 31, 2012 / admission2012 - Oct 31, 2012
|MIT: Favorite personality trait? (Sense of humor.. Hopefully with a twist)
3 - I'm not sure what you meant here,you should revise that sentence. Other than that, it's decent. It gets...
Undergraduatexamanda - Oct 31, 2012 / bhoppe - Oct 31, 2012
|Oddball / the end zone - trying for Stanford early action
4 - On another side, you have a guy whose passion for sports (in particular, Cardinal football) often reaches a level...
Undergraduatepjbrida - Oct 30, 2012 / musicmalay - Oct 31, 2012
|"Japanese lang" - briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities
Undergraduate509cr7 - Oct 31, 2012 / Azeroglu - Oct 31, 2012
|Help me!! Short essay for Common app
5 - For this essay they are just looking for what you participated in and how it benfitted you as a...
UndergraduateMarlinHelsel - Oct 30, 2012 / hobak135 - Oct 30, 2012
|"Once you start, you are already half-way done." Common App Essay
4 - The essay is really well written, but I agree that you should include an anecdote about how he inspired...
Undergraduatepoppyroll - Oct 30, 2012 / HC2013 - Oct 30, 2012
|"The beauty of your dreams" PTCAS admissions essay
2 - Be careful of your change of narration, switching between first second and third makes your essay seem choppy and...
Undergraduateariccardi14 - Oct 30, 2012 / HC2013 - Oct 30, 2012
|Waldo Prompt for UChicago Essay, the waldo that lives within you?
2 - I like your concept. I would suggest being more specific in some of your concepts because there are alot...
Undergraduateabhaya - Oct 30, 2012 / historyfreak13 - Oct 30, 2012
|Stanford "What matters to you" essay -- drama club
5 - I suggest rather than telling us what you felt and listing everything, that you show rather than tell what...
Undergraduateaqedwsf - Oct 30, 2012 / historyfreak13 - Oct 30, 2012
|'Meeting my new teachers' - Common App Topic of choice
3 - Great Topic! I like your wording throughout the essay. Something you could do to make it better is eliminate...
UndergraduateHC2013 - Oct 30, 2012 / dpatel95 - Oct 30, 2012
|'Upward' - Common App: Write about an extracurricular (1000 characters)
5 - I agree that the last sentence could be deleted. It takes away from the clarity of the essay. Otherwise,...
Undergraduatedealaus - Oct 29, 2012 / HC2013 - Oct 30, 2012
|Is this Essay appropriate for the Common Application?
UndergraduateLipstain22 - Oct 29, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 30, 2012
|Culinary Institute of America Essay: Who Influences You?
3 - I agree with the first post The first sentence needs to be changed because because the body of this...
Undergraduatelissirae - Oct 30, 2012 / jbaca - Oct 30, 2012
|'desire to learn finance' - Illinois essay
2 - Don't forget to mention how your experience working relates to your future goals. It would be appropriate to mention...
Undergraduatelucy123 - Oct 27, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 30, 2012
|"The CALL": Carnegie Mellon supplement: why CMU? ANY critiques? >:D
3 - Hi admission2012! Even though I said any harsh critiques are welcome, I still died a little inside when I...
UndergraduateLina101 - Oct 30, 2012 / Lina101 - Oct 30, 2012
|Fordham Essay - Describe a significant life experience; 'Losing someone in life'
2 - You mention how you still "feel every ounce of pain and grief." Make sure that you change the rest...
Undergraduatecgraves0107 - Oct 30, 2012 / poppyroll - Oct 30, 2012
|a special ability with music
2 - Instead of talking about violence and substance abuse, he decides to use his music to in order to show...
Undergraduateramenbowl95 - Oct 30, 2012 / EF_Susan - Oct 30, 2012
|'knowledge and wisdom / Ordinary people / Catholic student' - Notre Dame Supplements
3 - On number 1, don't restate "in my opinion" and go straight to the point. It will show that you...
Undergraduatetannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012 / mystictiger - Oct 30, 2012
|'It stared back at me and I stared back at it' - Common Application Essay
Undergraduatemystictiger - Oct 29, 2012 / mystictiger - Oct 30, 2012
|Major in unafraid- Barnard supplemental essay
UndergraduateDearcollege2013 - Oct 26, 2012 / Dearcollege2013 - Oct 30, 2012
|'the Alfa Romeo nears completion' - Common App Essay (Prompt #1)
2 - Hello, I think this is a good essay however, the reader has to wait until the third paragraph...
Undergraduaterickfoop - Oct 29, 2012 / admission2012 - Oct 30, 2012
|'Brazil school games' - USC Extracurricular activity
Undergraduatepperotti - Oct 30, 2012 / admission2012 - Oct 30, 2012
|Yale motivation - What do you think?
Undergraduatepitchulinha - Oct 30, 2012 / admission2012 - Oct 30, 2012
|Stanford- Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you.
3 - Hey, Overall, it's a good essay, except for a few grammar errors and wording issues. "In advance, I warn...
Undergraduateesnom_ - Oct 29, 2012 / OptimistPRIM3 - Oct 30, 2012
|'The negative energy exiting my body' - Common App Short
3 - You sound very contradicting in your short answer. At one point you say you turn your mind off to...
Undergraduateshmegg - Oct 29, 2012 / SyntaxVoid - Oct 29, 2012
|"Innocence" - Stanford CommonApp Essay #3
Undergraduatetannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012 / tannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012
|'A normal school environment' - Stanford Supplement Essay #1- revision
2 - Wow this is a solid and very well-written essay! I can't help but thinking that you should add a...
Undergraduatepjbrida - Oct 28, 2012 / tannerscooter - Oct 29, 2012
|University of South Florida Essay about extracurricular achievements--feedback
2 - There is an internal metronome ticking inside of me [the thing that makes this sentence sound awkward is that...
UndergraduateAshleighIsobel - Oct 28, 2012 / hayhill - Oct 29, 2012
|Short Response: Working at Chick-fil-a
4 - It is definitely evident in your response that Chick-fil-a has made quite the impact on your life. Estherthen did...
UndergraduateFutureScholar - Oct 27, 2012 / pjbrida - Oct 29, 2012
|'City boy / Career in media' - Syracuse University Supplements
7 - get rid of because in the last sentence and change the semicolon to a comma and you're golden....
UndergraduateLemonsnout - Oct 27, 2012 / dealaus - Oct 29, 2012
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