|Undergraduate [25,738] - page 153 of 429|
|MIT: the key to many of my successes has been my sense of humor
6 - I really like the idea behind your essay! However, I agree it can sound a little redundant within your...
Undergraduateaarkebauer - Oct 28, 2012 / ahoogland - Oct 28, 2012
|'Big change in my life, My Voice' - Common App Essay
7 - Sometimes I told him what I was doing outside of class, like discovering my passion for non-fiction books or...
Undergraduatejaniceli - Oct 27, 2012 / lklklk124 - Oct 28, 2012
|'Key role to grow up' - FSU Essay - Learning
2 - Hello Erin, You have good substance in your essay. But you could add more concrete examples, especially in the...
UndergraduateErinEmott - Oct 11, 2012 / glady91 - Oct 28, 2012
|UChicago "Tell us about your favorite.." Essay
5 - Okay I appreciate all of the suggestiions so I tweaked it a bit. Im thinking about deleting the sentence...
Undergraduatehobak135 - Oct 28, 2012 / hobak135 - Oct 28, 2012
|"Waldo is Nowhere" - UChicago Supplement Essay
2 - This is a very interesting look at the topic. I had actually heard about this dreaded question, and I...
Undergraduatesqrcke - Oct 28, 2012 / aarkebauer - Oct 28, 2012
|'Chinese common sense and education' - Columbia Supplement, meaningful about books
Undergraduaterefreshing - Oct 26, 2012 / refreshing - Oct 28, 2012
|Help with Psychology Essay!
3 - Your amazing! Thank you so much! Lool you must think I'm so boring though! What I meant about uninteresting...
Undergraduateamertaban - Oct 28, 2012 / amertaban - Oct 28, 2012
|University of Michigan Supplement - What attracts you to attend UM?
2 - This sounds a little forced to me: The University of Michigan encompasses so many traits that would challenge me...
UndergraduateMegsNT - Oct 28, 2012 / aarkebauer - Oct 28, 2012
|The top priority and the activity in my life which help me to achieve my life theme
4 - Your welcome, would you mind taking a look at mine? I would like to submit them tonight! Thanks...
Undergraduatena123456 - Oct 27, 2012 / shmegg - Oct 28, 2012
|Princeton: Influential Person essay
UndergraduateMrFed - Oct 26, 2012 / MrFed - Oct 28, 2012
|'I took and passed the gifted test' - UF admissions
Undergraduateniky - Oct 26, 2012 / niky - Oct 28, 2012
|'studying the origins of the universe' - Boston University Supplement
Undergraduateshmegg - Oct 28, 2012 / shmegg - Oct 28, 2012
|University of Florida Essay - Proofread and advice?
2 - saying I cried very little Recalled that I cried very little* "As my freshman year..." put this sentence before...
Undergraduatewontaco - Oct 28, 2012 / nilycul - Oct 28, 2012
|FSU What characteristics appeal to you?
Undergraduaterkane94 - Oct 6, 2012 / hobak135 - Oct 28, 2012
|Common App Essay - Piano
15 - This is a really good essay! I honestly think you don't need much else criticism besides the points above!...
Undergraduatechristineg711 - Dec 28, 2008 / maggiemay - Oct 28, 2012
|'top-notch liberal arts education' - Vassar Supplement Essay
3 - I agree with alexh983's comment as well. In the part where you talk about your unconformity at a young...
UndergraduateAriel421 - Oct 27, 2012 / hobak135 - Oct 28, 2012
|Thesis for a research paper on "breaking up the big banks"
Undergraduatelia6276 - Sep 30, 2012 / hobak135 - Oct 28, 2012
|amherst supplement- rigorous reasoning essay--- need revision
Undergraduatechiragjain - Oct 20, 2012 / himanshusahay - Oct 28, 2012
|'mathematical thirs' - Common App Early Application to Yale
9 - Thanks guys. I have put the link in the additional info section of the common app. Your pointers are...
Undergraduatehimanshusahay - Oct 23, 2012 / himanshusahay - Oct 28, 2012
|My home has been interminably full of music; topic of your choice
2 - First off, this is a lovely and well-written essay. Nice work! I especially like the analogies you make in...
Undergraduateaustenj - Oct 12, 2012 / sogoldman - Oct 28, 2012
|Extracurricular -"This field is a canvas. Let's paint something beautiful today"
3 - I love how you talk about the shin guards and their strength. I love the imagery too. For the...
UndergraduateKristenK - Oct 27, 2012 / OptimistPRIM3 - Oct 28, 2012
|'Get it done if it doesn't kill you' - Stanford Letter to Roommate
UndergraduateSyntaxVoid - Oct 26, 2012 / OptimistPRIM3 - Oct 28, 2012
|'PIANO and Universal Language of Music' - COMMON APP NEED HELP
Undergraduatendngurl - Oct 21, 2012 / ndngurl - Oct 28, 2012
|'Research and Shepherd School of Music' - Why Rice University?
2 - I would talk more about how you would fit into the student body, or how the SPECIFIC qualities of...
Undergraduatesogoldman - Oct 28, 2012 / ndngurl - Oct 28, 2012
|'Going through high school' - UF Admissions Event Essay
5 - "but it's certainly the busiest." I would not use conjunctions and change this to: but it certainly is the...
Undergraduateannahpyra - Oct 26, 2012 / maggiemay - Oct 28, 2012
|"Keep the conversation flowing" - Dartmouth Extracurricular
2 - "Things changed on that Sunday morning" Things is a really generic word. I suggest something like: Everything changed... or...
Undergraduatememercedes - Oct 28, 2012 / maggiemay - Oct 28, 2012
|Education Interruption (common app, NOT an essay) feedback?
2 - I think you should focus more on you, your studies, and how moving affected you and your studies. Colleges...
Undergraduateminnie481 - Oct 28, 2012 / maggiemay - Oct 28, 2012
|Unique Qualities of U of Michigan. Can anyone revise it and tell me if it answer the question?
UndergraduateCli - Oct 28, 2012 / Cli - Oct 28, 2012
|'loving the lower class' - UMich Essay- Community you belong
Undergraduatetimobxsci - Oct 27, 2012 / timobxsci - Oct 28, 2012
|'Cancer can be defeated' - Stanford Intellect Essay
6 - I think your re-write sounds great! I like the way it shows your personality- dedicated, concentrating on details, hard-working....
Undergraduateavatarmage - Oct 26, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 28, 2012
|'I had to stay strong for my family' VCU PG87 autobiography essay
2 - alexusmln "The last couple of days of his life I spent with my precious uncle. He was speechless, emotional...
Undergraduatealexusmln - Oct 2, 2012 / redskinsman95 - Oct 28, 2012
|'USA - China: you can control your life' - Personal Statement
2 - Your essay is very well-done, I like your style of writing and your story is touching and interesting. However,...
Undergraduatelucy123 - Oct 27, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 28, 2012
|'The transferring experience' - Michigan supplement! (community): TRANSFER
NEW - hi, i'm apply to Umich and writing its community essay. The topic is : Everyone belongs to many...
Undergraduatezhdevilla - Oct 28, 2012 / — -
|Common App Essay - Sounds of My Life
Undergraduatevoteforandy1 - Oct 14, 2012 / zhdevilla - Oct 28, 2012
|Essay on LEAVING HOME - DISCUSSION ESSAY.
Undergraduateyeongjia - Oct 27, 2012 / yeongjia - Oct 28, 2012
|Dartmouth Extracurricular Essay; keeping the conversation going
Undergraduatememercedes - Oct 28, 2012 / yeongjia - Oct 28, 2012
|Not math, literature, chemistry, physics, and history - just art, music, and drama for kids
2 - Your sentences are not varied at all. And your vocabulary as well. The essay overall sounds very flat and...
Undergraduateboston9 - Oct 24, 2012 / esthershin - Oct 28, 2012
|'He Spoke' - Common App Essay, symbolism with the hair?
3 - I really like this! You definitely hit homerun on hair symbolism (love it), "out-going" and "respecting". Yet in my...
UndergraduateKristenK - Oct 27, 2012 / memercedes - Oct 28, 2012
|"Casa Hogar Orphanage" (CommonApp extracurricular essay)
NEW - There was a silver plated bracelet clasped around his wrist, inscribed on it his name and nothing else. I...
Undergraduateesthershin - Oct 27, 2012 / — -
|'bullying minority students and cheating' University of Pennsylvania supplement essay
UndergraduateBlahxmr - Oct 23, 2012 / alexh983 - Oct 27, 2012
|'60 Chinese students summoned' - Dartmouth Main Essay
5 - I like how you analyze personal struggle and the way you go from embarrassment to pride. But one thing...
Undergraduatememercedes - Oct 20, 2012 / secreteyes0 - Oct 27, 2012
|The Connection of Learning - FSU Essay
2 - Judging by the first sentence, I can already tell you're a good writer:) I'll do as much correcting/criticing as...
Undergraduatenlman0 - Oct 4, 2012 / KristenK - Oct 27, 2012
|Circuses, resorts. Boycott Animal Performances
Undergraduatezhihanchew1234 - Sep 30, 2012 / KristenK - Oct 27, 2012
|'nothing is guaranteed' - Villanova Supplement
Undergraduateshmegg - Oct 27, 2012 / alexh983 - Oct 27, 2012
|'Beijing is an amazing city' - Common App - Personal Experience and Its Impact
Undergraduatethatotherguy - Oct 27, 2012 / Ariel421 - Oct 27, 2012
|Common App short anser "Founding a club"
Undergraduatezhdevilla - Oct 27, 2012 / zhdevilla - Oct 27, 2012
|'Research Opportunity Program and my parents' - Florida State admission essay
2 - Nice just try to avoid small choppy sentences. Maybe combine them with a semicolon. Could you please read mine?...
Undergraduateyamiirocks - Oct 27, 2012 / spoiledgemini16 - Oct 27, 2012
|Stanford - Fusors and Particle Acccelerators
3 - Okay so I removed the section starting from "Ever since .... " on down and replaced it so that...
UndergraduateSyntaxVoid - Oct 27, 2012 / SyntaxVoid - Oct 27, 2012
|How to write a compare contrast essay on 2 political issues
UndergraduateAamochoa - Oct 27, 2012 / Aamochoa - Oct 27, 2012
|"So where is Waldo, really?" UCHICAGO Supplemental Essay
3 - Thank you edenh 18 I appreciate it. I will make the necessary changes to the dialogue and get rid...
Undergraduatejjj111 - Oct 27, 2012 / jjj111 - Oct 27, 2012
|'Do not forget your origin when you succeed' - Michigan Supplement 2012-2013
5 - I agree with all the previous comments, & I also think you should include an example of how exactly...
Undergraduatetimobxsci - Oct 19, 2012 / edenh18 - Oct 27, 2012
|"Planet Earth" - National Merit Essay, Common App
2 - This essay is really cutely sentimental. I like the way I can feel that you're passionate about science, but...
Undergraduatelklklk124 - Oct 6, 2012 / janiceli - Oct 27, 2012
|CommonApp Short Answer- Korea in Ecuador
2 - Devote more than that one sentence to this cultural dissemination class you ended with. I think it's better to...
Undergraduatecorniuni - Oct 27, 2012 / edenh18 - Oct 27, 2012
|'Model United Nations' - Common App-Discuss personal issue of concern
4 - I think you did a great job of conveying personal concern. However, I don't see the point of the...
Undergraduateedenh18 - Oct 27, 2012 / timobxsci - Oct 27, 2012
|'My heroes, engineers' - Why engineering - yale supplement
3 - I actually disagree with ah_zafari, you craft the experience quite well, as some sort of elementary, rough form of...
UndergraduateI like Cookies - Oct 27, 2012 / Guest - Oct 27, 2012
|'Chemistry major is my goal' - Common App Suplement
Undergraduatecollegewoman - Oct 10, 2012 / I like Cookies - Oct 27, 2012
|Your hopes and plans for your development' Rough Draft for Oberlin Conservatory Essay
Undergraduatesambr378 - Sep 30, 2012 / ekroyakin - Oct 27, 2012
|'Involved into the best program in America' - Application for FIT transfer.
Undergraduatericlow1213 - Oct 27, 2012 / riclow1213 - Oct 27, 2012
|'Passion for debate and joy of winning' - extracurricular Short Essay
5 - Try and avoid conjunctions (won't=will not) Also..I feel you should see if you can think of a first sentence...
Undergraduatealladin06 - Oct 25, 2012 / shmegg - Oct 27, 2012
|'Not black and white' - Common App Short Answer - Piano
Undergraduateshmegg - Oct 25, 2012 / shmegg - Oct 27, 2012
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