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|<I'm still afraid> - Common App-Journal as topic
2 - The first entries reveal a boy,who doesn't quitenot knowing where he stands going intoas he the big world of...
Undergraduateandrewnreilly95 - Oct 17, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 18, 2012
|'Years of public education' - Last Minute Questbridge Biographical Essay
2 - Good job! I like how you used some humor in it. I can't really think of specific corrections. Have...
Undergraduatemonokurohime - Sep 26, 2012 / volz519 - Oct 18, 2012
|Richmond Suppliment- Time you left your comfort zone and how it affected you
2 - Hello, Chris) Your essay is not bad, but while reading it I didn't feel a strong emotional impact. You...
Undergraduatecrb4595 - Oct 1, 2012 / KhanhZ - Oct 18, 2012
|CommonApp - '4 words that started a change'
Undergraduatelinsawkyaw - Oct 9, 2012 / linsawkyaw - Oct 18, 2012
|Common app article on extra curriculars: Connections Across The World
4 - amazing actually said quite a lot :D but try and avoid using quizzing as much as you have and...
UndergraduateJayashree95 - Oct 18, 2012 / pentagramma - Oct 18, 2012
|'Diverse student body' - BOSTON UNIVERSITY- why BU is a good fit ?
Undergraduatepentagramma - Oct 6, 2012 / pentagramma - Oct 18, 2012
|Disolving stereotypes and integrating in scouting - Peace Corps Cross Cultural Essay
2 - It certainly is a great attempt! You could say "seemed distant" because over time, the barriers were broken. Also...
UndergraduateInherytance - Oct 18, 2012 / Jayashree95 - Oct 18, 2012
|'My dad makes me work hard, but also relax' - Common App
4 - It is generic, but sometimes that can be a good thing. If your essay thrives within the confines of...
Undergraduateaznelementmaste - Oct 17, 2012 / Nnorbu - Oct 18, 2012
|'Bible study and fun activities' - Elaborate on an extracirricular activity.
4 - Hi, its great to know we shared the same experience. I think you convey your idea clealry, minor adjustments:...
UndergraduateOVODiana - Oct 14, 2012 / cooldudebill - Oct 17, 2012
|THE ULTIMATE HIGH (COMMON APP ESSAY)
2 - It's a really good essay! The only suggestion I would give is to use the actual words for numbers...
Undergraduatercimalive - Oct 17, 2012 / ThePirateKing - Oct 17, 2012
|' reaching every direction' - Michigan Personal statement- Econ/Business
4 - Hi SpicyCurryMan. Personally I think its a great essay, you make your points clearly, and you have a good...
UndergraduateSpicyCurryMan - Oct 7, 2012 / cooldudebill - Oct 17, 2012
|'Our baby' -University of California accomplishment essay
3 - Hi, iLuHWz! Thanks so much for the help. Those were great suggestions, and the details can really count!...
Undergraduatecooldudebill - Oct 16, 2012 / cooldudebill - Oct 17, 2012
|What is the importance of diversity ?
2 - I feel like this essay is really vague. You are supposed to talk more about yourself such as what...
Undergraduatehagertahir - Oct 17, 2012 / TAT12 - Oct 17, 2012
|'The only thing left was the future' - AN ASIAN GIRL GOING TO COLLEGE essay
4 - I'm glad they helped! Just make sure to have plenty of other people read it and give more advice....
UndergraduateHiImAsian - Oct 17, 2012 / GraceDL - Oct 17, 2012
|"my dad's name on TV" - University of Texas at Austin - Undergraduate Statement of Purpose!
Undergraduatethalia1234 - Sep 26, 2012 / Dcool - Oct 17, 2012
|'Music: Friend, Or Enemy?' - Common app essay
Undergraduateallisfried - Oct 3, 2012 / Dcool - Oct 17, 2012
|Dramatic tales, Storyteller-- NYU SUPPLEMENT
2 - i feel like you are telling too little about urself. so maybe the ending seems a little bit abrupt....
Undergraduatebhoppe - Oct 17, 2012 / Jane123 - Oct 17, 2012
|'The Universe that houses all of us' - Common App College Personal Essay
2 - Your essay seems very abstract which makes it impersonal. I don't understand the first sentence of your essay, and...
UndergraduatePhrominox - Oct 17, 2012 / rcimalive - Oct 17, 2012
|"Amongst the Mountains" - Common App Essay
Undergraduatepokeyno1 - Oct 17, 2012 / pokeyno1 - Oct 17, 2012
|STANFORD: The Chance I Never Had;The Power of Happiness
2 - I really liked both of the essays! You conveyed meaningful experiences in a very short amount of space and...
Undergraduatesrp284cave - Oct 17, 2012 / rcimalive - Oct 17, 2012
|'to become a computer programmer or software engineer' College entrance essay for UCF
UndergraduateCort98 - Oct 3, 2012 / srp284cave - Oct 17, 2012
|Obstacles in your academic or personal life. Common App UCF critique
2 - there were years where it was extremely difficult to purchase school supplies. Should be WHEN instead of WHERE ...
Undergraduatenostalgiaxo - Sep 29, 2012 / srp284cave - Oct 17, 2012
|'Academic discussions and social interactions' - BROWN-Why are you going to college?
Undergraduateandrewnreilly95 - Oct 17, 2012 / pokeyno1 - Oct 17, 2012
|'magnificent grandeur of music' - Short essay from Common app.
Undergraduateljy9152 - Oct 13, 2012 / ljy9152 - Oct 17, 2012
|'The streets of San José' --Applying to Penn, Georgetown, and UChicago
Undergraduatewjbaw - Oct 17, 2012 / Sweaty123 - Oct 17, 2012
|'Not fitting into a mold' - University of PennsylvaniaShort Answer
Undergraduatewjbaw - Oct 17, 2012 / wjbaw - Oct 17, 2012
|'Commitment, patience and hard work' - Common App Short Essay Extracurricular
NEW - Hi, I have 2 differnent possible responses to the common app short answer - I would apreciate any advice...
UndergraduateCGT95 - Oct 17, 2012 / — -
|Sound and the Fury - How I view success.
UndergraduatecaseySchooling - Oct 17, 2012 / caseySchooling - Oct 17, 2012
|'girl's varsity tennis team' - Common app short answer: extracurriculars
UndergraduateTAT12 - Oct 15, 2012 / caseySchooling - Oct 17, 2012
|univ. of maryland supplements; 'The whole is greater than the sum of its parts'
NEW - 4. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.' - Aristotle. The intellectual, social and cultural differences...
Undergraduatechrisgoodhue - Oct 17, 2012 / — -
|'Growing and maturing without a father' - Commonapp PS-feedback
2 - This is a very touching essay. Make sure that it concentrates on how she has changed YOU. I know...
Undergraduatejissica - Oct 16, 2012 / wjbaw - Oct 17, 2012
|Out of these topics I came up with which has potential for an admissions essay?
Undergraduatemattno - Oct 17, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 17, 2012
|'they can be giants one day' - common app essay
Undergraduateangela0407 - Oct 11, 2012 / angela0407 - Oct 17, 2012
|COMMON APP ESSAY - performing and musical theatre is my passion
3 - Your writing skills are very good :) May I ask how do you practice writing essays. If you could...
Undergraduatecayleyc - Sep 22, 2012 / ademcelik - Oct 17, 2012
|Statement of Purpose- Astronomy: A humbling experience
Undergraduatewesleysuhler - Sep 24, 2012 / raiyan - Oct 17, 2012
|'Successful dancer's performance' - NYU supplement "what intrigues you"
2 - Your essay isn't silly at all It shows passion for your culture and something that you have interest in....
UndergraduateJane123 - Oct 16, 2012 / enfren - Oct 16, 2012
|'Obtaining a background in the computing industry' - Cornell Supplmentary
3 - add a short story. what contributes to your huge interest in engineering? just one or two sentence is enough,...
Undergraduatekoreanincambo - Oct 15, 2012 / Jane123 - Oct 16, 2012
|'Evolving through failures into a success' - Common Application Personal Statement
2 - I really like the direction you are going!! I like how you correlate each negative experience with a positive...
Undergraduatetigerlily6 - Oct 2, 2012 / tommyboy614 - Oct 16, 2012
|'An average Mexican restaurant' - COMMON APP- WORK EXPERIENCE
2 - College admin officers always say to "show" what you mean instead of telling. I would recommend telling a story...
Undergraduateaskelliott - Oct 16, 2012 / ldirkx - Oct 16, 2012
|VCU: Pg. 87 Autobiography - 'I have changed immensely'
2 - What kind of challenges? You could say something like "Whether ______ or ________, I have come across some obstacles,...
UndergraduateSunshineCLe - Sep 30, 2012 / mcgreeky - Oct 16, 2012
|'The consequences of being premature' - college influence essay
Undergraduateianthecat - Oct 10, 2012 / ianthecat - Oct 16, 2012
|'Jerry Maguire' - What intrigues you?-NYU essay prompt
Undergraduates_choi - Oct 15, 2012 / admission2012 - Oct 16, 2012
|The Little Things - Harvard Prompt
UndergraduateCIEL - Oct 15, 2012 / CIEL - Oct 16, 2012
|'Drill team try-out' - EXTRACURRICULAR essay
3 - I agree with rxa0789, I would like to see more details about your experience, maybe even a short anecdote?...
Undergraduatekarinaestrada16 - Oct 14, 2012 / jjdeyuyu - Oct 16, 2012
|All About Me Essay
5 - Assalam O Allekum, I am ishtiaque ali student of commerce, my residence town khairpur mir's where I had...
UndergraduateCarolina12510 - Sep 25, 2012 / ishtiaqali - Oct 16, 2012
|Tufts - It's Not Easy Being Green! (Or Is It?) - Optional Essay
UndergraduateIvy_Equestrian - Jan 4, 2010 / Sweaty123 - Oct 16, 2012
|Common App short answer; "the only girl in a soccer team"
4 - I think that the emphasis should be on the fact that you stepped outside of a cultural norm, so...
Undergraduatewinifred - Oct 15, 2012 / hmtatem - Oct 15, 2012
|College Essay A: Adam Savage impacted my life
Undergraduatezkinx6 - Oct 14, 2012 / hmtatem - Oct 15, 2012
|'Yearbook staff and dancing' - COMMON APP
6 - In the first paragraph, you'd better indicate the topic you are gonna talk about. When I read your first...
Undergraduatemdas1313 - Oct 15, 2012 / winifred - Oct 15, 2012
|'I hated her' Indicate a person who has had significance on you and describe
2 - I think that you should change the introduction. It is confusing and I do not know if Marybeth is...
Undergraduatedancer1995 - Oct 15, 2012 / hmtatem - Oct 15, 2012
|'My mom sacrifices for me' A person who has had a significant influence on you essay
4 - the last few sentences are the most important when you talk about the effect she has had on you,...
Undergraduatekelseyy613 - Oct 15, 2012 / MITHopeful - Oct 15, 2012
|'My Pink Partner' Narration and Description for My auto pencil
4 - I did what I could. There still may be errors. Much of this writing is confusing about who/what you...
UndergraduateAlyssa - Oct 15, 2012 / Delxysic - Oct 15, 2012
|Common App Essay - Leadership and Cake
NEW - I whizzed up the staircase, dodging the sea of students descending towards me. Caught up in my thoughts, I...
UndergraduateAanya - Oct 15, 2012 / — -
|UF Essay-Contributing to the campus-unemployment issues
Undergraduateheymishel - Oct 15, 2012 / heymishel - Oct 15, 2012
|'State Track Meet in Triple Jump' - Common App Extracurricular
2 - Five years had passed from when I first stepped onto the runway; since then, I'd grown to love the...
Undergraduatellin - Oct 15, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 15, 2012
|Article on in-kind donation; research on TOMS and similar organizations
Undergraduatechocolatte - Oct 15, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 15, 2012
|I was given a writing prompt on 5 senses...
3 - I would write it as an opinion piece with some description, but it's probably better to ask a classmate...
UndergraduateColey1120 - Oct 14, 2012 / chocolatte - Oct 15, 2012
|'my grandmother' - The Power of Nature vs Nurture/Common App
5 - Like the others, I like your topic:nature vs. nurture. That would be unique and attractive. I think you should...
Undergraduateroot - Sep 25, 2012 / winifred - Oct 15, 2012
|'student council experience extracirricular activity ways I can make it sound better?
3 - Well the activity you have mentioned above is quite a great case for short anwer. You've got enough details...
Undergraduatekoreanincambo - Oct 15, 2012 / CIEL - Oct 15, 2012
|my best friend Bronson - Most influential person
2 - Great essay! I really enjoyed it and it conveyed growth and change. Just a few minor things I would...
Undergraduatejennalyn220 - Oct 15, 2012 / jjdeyuyu - Oct 15, 2012
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