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|'The Underground Home' - Michigan Essay Critique
3 - I agree that your essay is interesting but it does not answer the prompt. It seems closer to answering...
UndergraduateDoctorAn12 - Oct 19, 2012 / jsnelson - Oct 21, 2012
|'the death of my grandmother when i was twelve' - Common App significant event
3 - You should try and elaborate a bit on the "How did your grandmothers death made you stronger" part. ...
UndergraduateTFleet13 - Oct 10, 2012 / Lemonsnout - Oct 21, 2012
|'Sobering Comedy': What matters to you and why
2 - This essay is really good. The anecdote at the beginning with the joke at the end it a perfect...
UndergraduateDoom - Oct 21, 2012 / ajdue - Oct 21, 2012
|UVA Supplement- Secretly Like Ghost Adventures.
Undergraduatemcgreeky - Oct 16, 2012 / mcgreeky - Oct 21, 2012
|'My grades and class rank > ACT scores' - Yale essay
UndergraduateMemona - Oct 20, 2012 / Memona - Oct 21, 2012
|'not gone to Stern' - NYU Admission
Undergraduatenair - Oct 21, 2012 / NikhillRao - Oct 21, 2012
|'Do not let your guard down' - meaningful event and how it will make you a better UF
3 - Hi iliketoshop, Firstly i am very sorry about your father. I know it is very hard to go through...
Undergraduateiliketoshop - Oct 21, 2012 / Memona - Oct 21, 2012
|'the good times of my life' - Purdue admission
2 - I was going through my early childhood photos yesterday that was placed on the floor before me. My childhood...
Undergraduatenair - Oct 21, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 21, 2012
|'Playing flute and guitar' - CommonApp short answer essay
7 - One little hint to decrease the characters is to delete the space before each sentence,that would cause red line...
Undergraduatezaclizitong - Oct 14, 2012 / LTC Lawrence - Oct 21, 2012
|"Let's get going now" - UF experience, risk, event
3 - "Let's get going now", said my mom, as I stood outside my house,staring at the bright moon. I...
Undergraduateloreal - Oct 21, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 21, 2012
|'Gaining and exchanging knowledge' - U penn supplement essay
Undergraduatesas94 - Oct 21, 2012 / memercedes - Oct 21, 2012
|'volunteering in Africa and engineering' - most appealing about Columbia and why?
5 - Good job! As ramenbowl95 says, it really shows "your hunger for the school". Even better, you as a person...
Undergraduatekanyeki - Oct 20, 2012 / memercedes - Oct 21, 2012
|'My new life after immigrating to the USA' - University of Chicago Supplement
Undergraduatehudashahid1 - Oct 20, 2012 / memercedes - Oct 21, 2012
|'being a foreigner is a constant burden' - Feedback on Harvard
3 - " I couldn't decide whether or not this life-changing experience was something that I should look forward to, or...
Undergraduatedobiboome - Oct 10, 2012 / memercedes - Oct 21, 2012
|Common App Transfer Essay for Hampshire College
2 - I really loved your essay and I feel that you've written perfectly fine! But instead of the transition, I...
Undergraduateeastcoast315 - Sep 29, 2012 / nair - Oct 21, 2012
|'Easy adaptation and intellectuality' - Why Reed Essay
NEW - This is my fisrt draft, I think it's very bad :( Please make any comments and corrections. I very...
Undergraduatendp1995 - Oct 21, 2012 / — -
|Describe a meaningful experience: University of Florida Essay
Undergraduateksolem - Oct 20, 2012 / ajdue - Oct 20, 2012
|"Black Powers" -- Main Essay for Dartmouth
5 - HI memercedes, To be honest with you when i read your essay i just thought myself i really really...
Undergraduatememercedes - Sep 30, 2012 / Memona - Oct 20, 2012
|'inclined towards psychology and helping others' - UMICHIGAN
2 - Hi Ramenbowl95, My suggestion will be to make this personal. I think you may focus more on how...
Undergraduateramenbowl95 - Oct 19, 2012 / memercedes - Oct 20, 2012
|college essay for duquesne university; 'unique quality is something very strong'
2 - A unique quality in regards to a person, is something very strong. A unique quality is an aspect to...
Undergraduategxnoside - Oct 20, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 20, 2012
|The Bough that bears most bend most
2 - Life must be ordained on there principle of moderation. As there is a famous saying "Excess of everything is...
Undergraduatesalmanhabib - Oct 19, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 20, 2012
|"Hey, don't Play Play!" - What matters to me and why (stanford)
3 - I thought this essay was good, very humorous. Many parts were vague and left me confused though. What sort...
UndergraduateDoom - Oct 18, 2012 / nikapika - Oct 20, 2012
|SPORTS/ PROGRAMS; UMD/ Parts that up to the sum of me
UndergraduateTyphaze - Oct 20, 2012 / kanyeki - Oct 20, 2012
|'community in the South East of London' - describe the world you come from
2 - Coming from a community in the South East of London, there's never a day that would pass by without...
Undergraduateastarh32 - Oct 19, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 20, 2012
|briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experience.helpp!
NEW - I have always been interested in assisting others and working in a medical environment so at the end of...
UndergraduateSandra301 - Oct 20, 2012 / — -
|'Not stressing my grades, but coordinating my steps' - UIUC essay #2
3 - The essay seems good to me. The transitions from the paragraphs and the way you started the essay was...
Undergraduatesteveandimrad - Oct 9, 2012 / AMB994 - Oct 20, 2012
|Michigan supplement essay; "People often tell me that I act calm"
2 - From then on, it was a painfully slow process of returning to a comfortable and stable lifestyle . multiple...
Undergraduateyiwei95 - Oct 19, 2012 / neera94 - Oct 19, 2012
|my family community- U Mich Supplement
Undergraduateraquelgindi - Oct 6, 2012 / allms - Oct 19, 2012
|'Imperfect, but inspiring' - Common App Essay
3 - A big part of this essay is showing yourself. I don't see that until the last paragraph. The essay...
UndergraduateGuest - Oct 7, 2012 / timobxsci - Oct 19, 2012
|'Samson's journey' - Transfer Essay
Undergraduatecpdphilippe - Oct 2, 2012 / fleurebelle95 - Oct 19, 2012
|'Deep passion for helping other people out' - Essay for The University Michigan
2 - You could go a little more indepth about why you chose that major, where you believe it will take...
Undergraduatesoccer11 - Oct 19, 2012 / timobxsci - Oct 19, 2012
|'Taking charge of whatever I do to realize my potential' - UCF admission
2 - 1. I felt that the first few sentences of you first response was too typical.. I want some surprises...
Undergraduatemaggers777 - Sep 26, 2012 / timobxsci - Oct 19, 2012
|'Academics not difficult to me' - FSU Admission Freshman Essay Topic
2 - This is a great essay! You thoroughly covered all the aspects of why learning was your top priority in...
UndergraduateJazzy13 - Oct 19, 2012 / DoctorAn12 - Oct 19, 2012
|'The lifter and yell' - I need Common App Critique
3 - Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate that you were honest in your critique. I see...
UndergraduateDoctorAn12 - Oct 18, 2012 / DoctorAn12 - Oct 19, 2012
|'Responsible citizen in our society' - Duke University Supplement - Why Duke?
Undergraduategmichski - Oct 19, 2012 / — -
|Essay about something I think goes unnoticed and why it is important to me-Feedback
3 - Thanks for the input! The reason I put "number one disease killer of children" is because it is not...
Undergraduatevolz519 - Oct 18, 2012 / volz519 - Oct 19, 2012
|'Born on purpose into Earth' - UCF essay (bump / uniqueness)
Undergraduategoldburg18 - Oct 19, 2012 / goldburg18 - Oct 19, 2012
|'not so much fear of hackers' - My interest in computers
2 - After reading your essay, I thought the Topic is kind of Influence of computers but not your interest. Remember...
Undergraduatechrisbkewl88 - Oct 19, 2012 / thaonguyen1901 - Oct 19, 2012
|'becoming successful in life' - College Application Short Essay (Georgia Tech)
2 - Hello, Cameron) You say you "had a natural affinity to computers" and yet you haven't explained why you chose...
UndergraduateSlvrfn - Oct 11, 2012 / KhanhZ - Oct 19, 2012
|'Kimberly, Margaret, and I' - Common App reflection - topic of your choice
2 - First sentence: take out the first two commas. Change "befriend" one of the two times you use it in...
Undergraduatefleurebelle95 - Oct 19, 2012 / tpezz2013 - Oct 19, 2012
|'From Korea to Cambodia - how it changed my life' - CommonApp Essay
Undergraduatekoreanincambo - Oct 18, 2012 / fleurebelle95 - Oct 19, 2012
|'Lead / follow people' - FSU Application Essay - Leadership. Thoughts?
2 - "There is a multitude of accredited perspectives..." ---> There are a multitude of accredited perspectives.. (plural) Other than...
UndergraduateDLu16 - Sep 27, 2012 / tommyboy614 - Oct 19, 2012
|'My coach and team mates' - University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
UndergraduateAMB994 - Oct 18, 2012 / AMB994 - Oct 19, 2012
|'Now I am an open-minded individual' - Diversity Common App Essay
2 - Hello, This prompt shouldn't be as hard as I feel you are making it. Given your background, you...
Undergraduatedcf0831 - Oct 18, 2012 / admission2012 - Oct 19, 2012
|'My passion is computer science' - Cornell Supplmentary Essay
2 - As I was deciding which IB courses to take in my junior year, I spent time pondering about what...
Undergraduatekoreanincambo - Oct 15, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 18, 2012
|"When you do nothing,..." - Temple Personal Statement
2 - this is amazing. not only your accomplishments but your work ethics to go along. this is so well written....
Undergraduatesmithy123456 - Oct 13, 2012 / xrachel24 - Oct 18, 2012
|<I'm still afraid> - Common App-Journal as topic
2 - The first entries reveal a boy,who doesn't quitenot knowing where he stands going intoas he the big world of...
Undergraduateandrewnreilly95 - Oct 17, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 18, 2012
|'Years of public education' - Last Minute Questbridge Biographical Essay
2 - Good job! I like how you used some humor in it. I can't really think of specific corrections. Have...
Undergraduatemonokurohime - Sep 26, 2012 / volz519 - Oct 18, 2012
|Richmond Suppliment- Time you left your comfort zone and how it affected you
2 - Hello, Chris) Your essay is not bad, but while reading it I didn't feel a strong emotional impact. You...
Undergraduatecrb4595 - Oct 1, 2012 / KhanhZ - Oct 18, 2012
|CommonApp - '4 words that started a change'
Undergraduatelinsawkyaw - Oct 9, 2012 / linsawkyaw - Oct 18, 2012
|Common app article on extra curriculars: Connections Across The World
4 - amazing actually said quite a lot :D but try and avoid using quizzing as much as you have and...
UndergraduateJayashree95 - Oct 18, 2012 / pentagramma - Oct 18, 2012
|'Diverse student body' - BOSTON UNIVERSITY- why BU is a good fit ?
Undergraduatepentagramma - Oct 6, 2012 / pentagramma - Oct 18, 2012
|Disolving stereotypes and integrating in scouting - Peace Corps Cross Cultural Essay
2 - It certainly is a great attempt! You could say "seemed distant" because over time, the barriers were broken. Also...
UndergraduateInherytance - Oct 18, 2012 / Jayashree95 - Oct 18, 2012
|'My dad makes me work hard, but also relax' - Common App
4 - It is generic, but sometimes that can be a good thing. If your essay thrives within the confines of...
Undergraduateaznelementmaste - Oct 17, 2012 / Nnorbu - Oct 18, 2012
|'Bible study and fun activities' - Elaborate on an extracirricular activity.
4 - Hi, its great to know we shared the same experience. I think you convey your idea clealry, minor adjustments:...
UndergraduateOVODiana - Oct 14, 2012 / cooldudebill - Oct 17, 2012
|THE ULTIMATE HIGH (COMMON APP ESSAY)
2 - It's a really good essay! The only suggestion I would give is to use the actual words for numbers...
Undergraduatercimalive - Oct 17, 2012 / ThePirateKing - Oct 17, 2012
|' reaching every direction' - Michigan Personal statement- Econ/Business
4 - Hi SpicyCurryMan. Personally I think its a great essay, you make your points clearly, and you have a good...
UndergraduateSpicyCurryMan - Oct 7, 2012 / cooldudebill - Oct 17, 2012
|'Our baby' -University of California accomplishment essay
3 - Hi, iLuHWz! Thanks so much for the help. Those were great suggestions, and the details can really count!...
Undergraduatecooldudebill - Oct 16, 2012 / cooldudebill - Oct 17, 2012
|What is the importance of diversity ?
2 - I feel like this essay is really vague. You are supposed to talk more about yourself such as what...
Undergraduatehagertahir - Oct 17, 2012 / TAT12 - Oct 17, 2012
|'The only thing left was the future' - AN ASIAN GIRL GOING TO COLLEGE essay
4 - I'm glad they helped! Just make sure to have plenty of other people read it and give more advice....
UndergraduateHiImAsian - Oct 17, 2012 / GraceDL - Oct 17, 2012
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