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|'My last two summers' mental, physical struggles, tears, sweat, self-revelations
Undergraduatesunshinedaisy - Oct 1, 2012 / sunshinedaisy - Oct 4, 2012
|What work of art, music, science, etc has surprised, unsettled or challenged you? UVA
2 - The violins added their voices , singing a sorrowful tale of which only our minds and hearts could conjure....
Undergraduatevishnuv1228 - Sep 30, 2012 / EF_Susan - Oct 4, 2012
|'So many students wanting to go to college' - QUESTBRIDGE- ESSAY #1
2 - I live in Bakersfield, California, the hottest city I have ever lived in, and attend school in a ...
Undergraduateuscuscusc - Sep 23, 2012 / EF_Susan - Oct 4, 2012
|'when someone gets hurt...' - Questbridge application essay
2 - When I was eleven years old, my youngest brother fell from his bike and hurt his head pretty badly....
Undergraduatechin2413 - Sep 23, 2012 / EF_Susan - Oct 4, 2012
|'personal and professional fulfillment' - Common App reasons for transfer
UndergraduateJayCal - Sep 24, 2012 / EF_Susan - Oct 4, 2012
|UIL Urbana-Champaign Undergraduate Essay #1
2 - I learned how to use a saw, hammer and drill at a young age, and continue building wood projects...
Undergraduatebars388 - Sep 26, 2012 / EF_Susan - Oct 4, 2012
|Diligence. I was given a lot of opportunities that have influenced who I am
2 - I have accomplished a lot in high school academically by maintaining a high GPA throughout, high school, attending a...
Undergraduatelydiavonebers - Sep 26, 2012 / EF_Susan - Oct 4, 2012
|'What I do is more than just a job' QB Achievement essay.
UndergraduateLeynorboard - Sep 28, 2012 / EF_Susan - Oct 4, 2012
|Favorable and unfavorable sides of being an employee or a business person
2 - Bearing this in one's mind, turned an individual, in particular, a newly graduate to pay attention about making the...
Undergraduatethe optimists - Sep 28, 2012 / EF_Susan - Oct 4, 2012
|Personal statement for Penn State - Life is like Cake
NEW - Hello, Could you please take a look at my essay for PSU. I would appreciate any help you can...
UndergraduateDuffy1513 - Oct 4, 2012 / — -
|'At the age of twelve, I became a self-conscious child' Biographical essay
2 - trilam153 What happened when you were twelve? This seems like a mystery to me in and of itself. Maybe...
Undergraduatetrilam153 - Sep 21, 2012 / bridgealita - Oct 4, 2012
|'family history' - UCF College Application
2 - For some people, it's distracting to read a repeated phrase, especially after it has already been used in the...
UndergraduateN182655 - Oct 3, 2012 / BachChaconne2 - Oct 4, 2012
|'My symbolic journey to Jamaica' Essay For UF
3 - Try to find ways to revise sentences. Some are a little wordy: "..so we could get an opportunity to...
UndergraduateSimplyJuline - Oct 3, 2012 / allisfried - Oct 3, 2012
|UC Prompt #1 - Aspiration to be an OBGYN
Undergraduatecmcyeen - Oct 3, 2012 / cmcyeen - Oct 3, 2012
|'She always pushes me to my best' Somebody in your life that has impacted you
2 - it's a good starting point! Just you should go into more depth about yourself and how you changed. Greater...
Undergraduatebcjohnson134 - Oct 2, 2012 / cpdphilippe - Oct 3, 2012
|'Free the Children Japan' Common App: Extracurricular essay
4 - I think telling more about your activity is better. If i was grading your essay, I'd want to find...
UndergraduateMio - Sep 28, 2012 / houshina - Oct 3, 2012
|'Live Life to the Fullest' Common Application Essay & Short Answer (Extracurricular)
3 - Thanks for the help. hows this? better or worse? :D Landas ng Karunungan (path of wisdom) is a...
Undergraduategiaaahhh28 - Oct 2, 2012 / giaaahhh28 - Oct 3, 2012
|'Roommate and science', 'Music Conservatory Battle' - 2 Stanford Supplements
Undergraduateyorietran - Oct 2, 2012 / anelson8 - Oct 2, 2012
|Stanford -- what matters to you: my torchlight
UndergraduateDoom - Oct 2, 2012 / yorietran - Oct 2, 2012
|Business program and international setting - BU Supplement Essay
4 - I feel like your mother is the dominant speaker of this little essay. It should be, instead, begin without...
Undergraduategiaaahhh28 - Sep 30, 2012 / whoau49 - Oct 2, 2012
|'coming out of my shy stage' - MY UC PERSONAL #2
Undergraduatejanajackson - Sep 17, 2012 / anb012187 - Oct 2, 2012
|"MY FATHER" The person Who influenced my Life
2 - I think instead of starting with some generic remarks, you can try starting with an anecdote between you and...
UndergraduateGeorgianDream - Oct 1, 2012 / Yuan Feng - Oct 2, 2012
|'Life is full of mistakes that need to be made in order to grow' My Common App Essay
2 - To me, this story sounds interesting, but you could improve by adding more details into it. For example, how...
Undergraduateshaydaji1 - Sep 27, 2012 / Yuan Feng - Oct 2, 2012
|"Why Mount Holyoke?" Supplement Short Answer (Feedback)
5 - Aw... Thank you. The Yeats poem was actually the part I was worried would be too cheesy. But I...
UndergraduateMax_Ride94 - Oct 1, 2012 / Max_Ride94 - Oct 2, 2012
|Common App (How Different Can An Education Be?)
Undergraduateyorietran - Oct 1, 2012 / yorietran - Oct 2, 2012
|Holland/Netherlands - the happiest country. My World of Language - Personal
2 - My grandmother, a woman who spoke 10 languages (is she still speaking 10 languages? just curious? or did she...
Undergraduatelilygevorkian - Oct 1, 2012 / yorietran - Oct 2, 2012
|Writing an essay for the Fashion Institute for Technology's FMM program.
2 - Love your tone! and see your passion on fabrics! My advice is to have a better bring-the-readers-in opening,why not...
Undergraduateamberlsk - Sep 24, 2012 / angela0407 - Oct 1, 2012
|Wrestling has taught me lessons ; Common App Extracurricular Short Answer
UndergraduateEricRodrigo13 - Sep 30, 2012 / angela0407 - Oct 1, 2012
|Responsibility is something I have had to face my whole life - UF admissions essay
6 - In the world we live in today, some people are not always accepting of other's life choiceslifestyles and in...
UndergraduateTnts1995 - Sep 9, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 1, 2012
|Name One Song That has influenced you Virginia Tech app essay
2 - The reason for which this band has influenced me so greatly is that each person who listens to their...
Undergraduatepheneger1 - Sep 27, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 1, 2012
|Introducing myself to a roommate -- Oreos and Nutella
UndergraduateDoom - Oct 1, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 1, 2012
|'Malaysian road' - Stanford -- Intellectual vitality
2 - Searing heat; a forsaken strip of Malaysian road; nonexistent satellite reception. This was the situation I faced last summer...
UndergraduateDoom - Oct 1, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 1, 2012
|'computer programmer's dream' - UC Prompt 1
UndergraduateTashiro Tetsuya - Sep 24, 2012 / Tashiro Tetsuya - Oct 1, 2012
|'Our bodies are fragile' - Personal Stat for Loyola U Chicago
2 - Our bodies are fragile things when you get down to the parts. You could say this: "When you examine...
Undergraduatefoxyh - Oct 1, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Oct 1, 2012
|Fashion Institiute of Technology Entrance Essay
Undergraduatekelly345 - Sep 19, 2012 / kelly345 - Oct 1, 2012
|'In order to change the views of the world I must rise higher and do greater things'
Undergraduatesoccersick - Sep 24, 2012 / foxyh - Oct 1, 2012
|'Climax in my life' Texas Application Personal Essay Topic C
Undergraduateumalooma - Sep 20, 2012 / foxyh - Oct 1, 2012
|'inspiration in my world' - uc personal statement - prompt # 1
Undergraduatelittleselene - Sep 18, 2012 / foxyh - Oct 1, 2012
|'I found myself broke' - common app short answer-Work Exp. its 1600 characters long
2 - When I left Marymount College in 2010, I found myself broke and in desperate need of a paycheck. Extracurricular...
Undergraduateajacob - Oct 1, 2012 / foxyh - Oct 1, 2012
|Common Ap Essay- Pseudo Puerto Rican
3 - thanks!...
Undergraduatesakuragyaru - Sep 22, 2012 / sakuragyaru - Oct 1, 2012
|'I will be a World Bank president' draft...of my stanford essay
4 - you have the basis for a good essay here. But i recommend you change the "slightly whining" part to...
UndergraduateShayke_96 - Sep 12, 2012 / Doom - Oct 1, 2012
|Common App - Steve Jobs biggest Influence on me.
Undergraduateamansam5 - Sep 29, 2012 / LillyCullenT - Oct 1, 2012
|An article on the topic "I want to become a doctor"
3 - Thanks Sadaf! Appreciate your help alot! and LOL! Yes I did see the word anticipation from your P.S.(honest as...
UndergraduateSweetFaith - Sep 6, 2012 / SweetFaith - Oct 1, 2012
|'Mother' She has had a significant influence on me; 'I was born in small town'
Undergraduateangelparveez - Sep 18, 2012 / bellacose - Sep 30, 2012
|'I am African' If I could Lend My Heart Words
4 - This is beautiful. Quite unique, and so intellectual. But I'm not sure it's the best for an admissions essay....
Undergraduateriskatun - Sep 18, 2012 / essayhelper - Sep 30, 2012
|'Intelligent conversations, fervor for discovery..' Short answer for Brown University
UndergraduateGraceDL - Sep 30, 2012 / essayhelper - Sep 30, 2012
|FSU Application Essay - Learning. Advice? Thoughts?
2 - This is a good start, but maybe when describing your orthodontist experience, you should maybe add more about how...
UndergraduateBballdude94 - Sep 28, 2012 / VcP19 - Sep 30, 2012
|'chronic medical condition' - Common App: A significant experience
2 - Tough topic to pull off. You did it well! The line: Cancer changed our relationship, and I was forced...
Undergraduatetaxman94 - Sep 30, 2012 / essayhelper - Sep 30, 2012
|'As a child growing up in the Bronx...' Questbridge Essay Review
2 - That's why if I had the power to open a center and educate these kids about how gang violence...
UndergraduateNinjaboy33 - Sep 28, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 30, 2012
|'Finance just seems to be my calling' Drexel University Application Essay
Undergraduateschmitta - Sep 26, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 30, 2012
|'Cancer affects a huge number of people' University of Florida Admissions Essay
Undergraduateashrobbinson - Sep 30, 2012 / agoldtho - Sep 30, 2012
|'Study in most undisciplined and original manner possible' FSU Essay
2 - This is good! i like how you added extra aspects and other areas of the prompt (the part about...
Undergraduateagoldtho - Sep 30, 2012 / ashrobbinson - Sep 30, 2012
|paragraph about personality; My cousin Tom
4 - Very interesting. But if this is an undergraduate admission, shouldn't it be longer? maybe you should write how his...
Undergraduatesimoneta - Sep 26, 2012 / andshewashappy8 - Sep 30, 2012
|'How i would use my experience for UF' University of Florida Essay
3 - "As I started approaching Christine and her caretaker to introduce myself, I was overcome with an eager hug from...
Undergraduatemooremck - Sep 29, 2012 / agoldtho - Sep 30, 2012
|'Choose an issue of importance to you' "Self-Control" essay for UT Topic B
2 - How many problems can you think of that could have been easily avoided if someone had applied self-control? It's...
Undergraduatechuckp459 - Sep 25, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 30, 2012
|'Run, study, cry, yell, and learn' - Favorite place to get lost (UVA) - Music
2 - I sit snugly into my cozy, familiar armchair and heave a sigh of relief. After a hard day's work,...
Undergraduatevishnuv1228 - Sep 30, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 30, 2012
|Craig influenced my life; I learned to appreciate life, even through its downs
5 - After watching Craig Dietz, I decided to get back on my feet and continue to strive towardscontinue my goals....
UndergraduateMelissaV - Sep 26, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 30, 2012
|Common app essay; Signifcant Experience - My Trip to Italy.
UndergraduateMikeMar - Sep 29, 2012 / LTC Lawrence - Sep 30, 2012
|'Funny but good' - Favorite word and why essay "ugly" for UVA.
3 - "As my friends were approaching towards me" Id write "As my friends approached me" I like the way you...
Undergraduateqaszxc - Sep 29, 2012 / amansam5 - Sep 30, 2012
|UNC Chapel Hill. When you changed your mind about something that mattered to you?
UndergraduateDRitrosky - Sep 22, 2012 / MikeMar - Sep 29, 2012
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