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|'Intelligent conversations, fervor for discovery..' Short answer for Brown University
UndergraduateGraceDL - Sep 30, 2012 / essayhelper - Sep 30, 2012
|FSU Application Essay - Learning. Advice? Thoughts?
2 - This is a good start, but maybe when describing your orthodontist experience, you should maybe add more about how...
UndergraduateBballdude94 - Sep 28, 2012 / VcP19 - Sep 30, 2012
|'chronic medical condition' - Common App: A significant experience
2 - Tough topic to pull off. You did it well! The line: Cancer changed our relationship, and I was forced...
Undergraduatetaxman94 - Sep 30, 2012 / essayhelper - Sep 30, 2012
|'As a child growing up in the Bronx...' Questbridge Essay Review
2 - That's why if I had the power to open a center and educate these kids about how gang violence...
UndergraduateNinjaboy33 - Sep 28, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 30, 2012
|'Finance just seems to be my calling' Drexel University Application Essay
Undergraduateschmitta - Sep 26, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 30, 2012
|'Cancer affects a huge number of people' University of Florida Admissions Essay
Undergraduateashrobbinson - Sep 30, 2012 / agoldtho - Sep 30, 2012
|'Study in most undisciplined and original manner possible' FSU Essay
2 - This is good! i like how you added extra aspects and other areas of the prompt (the part about...
Undergraduateagoldtho - Sep 30, 2012 / ashrobbinson - Sep 30, 2012
|paragraph about personality; My cousin Tom
4 - Very interesting. But if this is an undergraduate admission, shouldn't it be longer? maybe you should write how his...
Undergraduatesimoneta - Sep 26, 2012 / andshewashappy8 - Sep 30, 2012
|'How i would use my experience for UF' University of Florida Essay
3 - "As I started approaching Christine and her caretaker to introduce myself, I was overcome with an eager hug from...
Undergraduatemooremck - Sep 29, 2012 / agoldtho - Sep 30, 2012
|'Choose an issue of importance to you' "Self-Control" essay for UT Topic B
2 - How many problems can you think of that could have been easily avoided if someone had applied self-control? It's...
Undergraduatechuckp459 - Sep 25, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 30, 2012
|'Run, study, cry, yell, and learn' - Favorite place to get lost (UVA) - Music
2 - I sit snugly into my cozy, familiar armchair and heave a sigh of relief. After a hard day's work,...
Undergraduatevishnuv1228 - Sep 30, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 30, 2012
|Craig influenced my life; I learned to appreciate life, even through its downs
5 - After watching Craig Dietz, I decided to get back on my feet and continue to strive towardscontinue my goals....
UndergraduateMelissaV - Sep 26, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 30, 2012
|Common app essay; Signifcant Experience - My Trip to Italy.
UndergraduateMikeMar - Sep 29, 2012 / LTC Lawrence - Sep 30, 2012
|'Funny but good' - Favorite word and why essay "ugly" for UVA.
3 - "As my friends were approaching towards me" Id write "As my friends approached me" I like the way you...
Undergraduateqaszxc - Sep 29, 2012 / amansam5 - Sep 30, 2012
|UNC Chapel Hill. When you changed your mind about something that mattered to you?
UndergraduateDRitrosky - Sep 22, 2012 / MikeMar - Sep 29, 2012
|'I can now pursuit a management degree' - what forced goals re-examination
2 - "through lecture series organised by" make sure to correct organised, into organized. I think you misspell it in other...
Undergraduatesid018 - Sep 29, 2012 / dannyocean - Sep 29, 2012
|'his cheerful and contented eyes'; My Father - he has made an impact on my life
Undergraduatetky195 - Sep 26, 2012 / Freenchy - Sep 29, 2012
|Stanford Supplement: Intellectual Vitality- Illuminati Conspiracy
Undergraduatesrp284cave - Sep 11, 2012 / KhanhZ - Sep 29, 2012
|"Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only" - Fashion Merchandising
2 - It's alright, I think you shouldn't start with the quote, that's such a cliche move, bet so many other...
Undergraduatesabrinanicole - Sep 27, 2012 / FITNEXT - Sep 28, 2012
|'Art is my rand hand' - experience Essay 250-500 Word
2 - The careful movements of my paintbrush fill the canvas with primary colors. Gradually, the contrasting colors blend together to...
Undergraduatewengsu78 - Sep 28, 2012 / krys10x - Sep 28, 2012
|'a team captain' - Extracurricular Essay Common App ADVICE
Undergraduatewengsu78 - Sep 23, 2012 / wengsu78 - Sep 28, 2012
|Experiences and concepts that make you intellectually excited - Earthship QB Essay
UndergraduateLeynorboard - Sep 28, 2012 / Leynorboard - Sep 28, 2012
|"the photograph" - MIT: Describe the world you come from (200-250 words)
2 - Your essay is really good! It caught my attention instantly and I know it will catch the attention of...
UndergraduateXeltar - Sep 28, 2012 / ruhama30 - Sep 28, 2012
|'My dream is to become a trauma surgeon' Describe yourself - college essay
3 - I tweaked it just a little. Any better? On October 28, 1994, in Seminole, Florida, a miracle happened; Matthew...
UndergraduateHannahAyleene - Sep 28, 2012 / HannahAyleene - Sep 28, 2012
|Statement of Purpose - University of Texas transfer essay *grammatical errors*
2 - Vietnam is one word, delete "so they did" in the first sentence it's redundant, explain what an "alteration shop"...
Undergraduatedianephm - Sep 28, 2012 / Xeltar - Sep 28, 2012
|'An incredible bond with an amazing group of people' Common App Essay -FIRST Robotics
3 - Ok, I've edited it a bit so here is the updated version. It's still a little long although not...
Undergraduatebellem1 - Sep 8, 2012 / bellem1 - Sep 28, 2012
|'Practical and abstract reasons' - finding direction on Common app transfer essay.
5 - You have done well. The best thing you can do is clearly state exactly what the admissions officials want...
Undergraduatebellacose - Sep 26, 2012 / cahillcahill - Sep 28, 2012
|'standing at the podium' - UC: Prompt #2
4 - Your essay is really wonderful and nice to read. The introduction and concluding paragraphs are really nice and clearly...
Undergraduatelivelaughleslie - Sep 27, 2012 / cahillcahill - Sep 28, 2012
|FSU College Essay - The Importance of Leadership
3 - You have mentioned some really good points. And you should make a little elaboration of about your role at...
UndergraduateNFont - Sep 23, 2012 / cahillcahill - Sep 28, 2012
|Elaborate on a time when something you witnessed caused you to reflect on your hritag
2 - ...who almost made me lose my faith in my national identity. ....For some reason, I found the truth in...
UndergraduateNnorbu - Sep 27, 2012 / the optimists - Sep 28, 2012
|'I am a perfectionist' - QuestBridge - A significant experience
7 - I agree with Leynorboard! Your introduction paragraph is much better in your revised version. In reference to my style...
Undergraduatequando04 - Sep 23, 2012 / livelaughleslie - Sep 27, 2012
|'I see myself growing more mature as time goes by' QuestBridge Bio Essay
4 - well, there's one minor flaw in the conclusion :) 'Looking back at my childhood and the challenges I have...
Undergraduatequando04 - Sep 23, 2012 / Leynorboard - Sep 27, 2012
|Butterfly metamorphosis, Biographical Questbridge college Essay
5 - I saw the mistakes I made by comparing your two drafts with mine. Repeating words do sound horrible! Very...
UndergraduateLeynorboard - Sep 27, 2012 / quando04 - Sep 27, 2012
|Questbridge Biography - factors and challenges that have shaped your personal life.
UndergraduateAhndrahdee - Sep 27, 2012 / Ahndrahdee - Sep 27, 2012
|"One step closer to success" - why UCF?
2 - When I visited UCF I knew it was exactly where I wanted to be after I graduate high school.---I...
Undergraduatemariag1 - Sep 24, 2012 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2012
|'I have always stayed connected with my Indian culture' - UC Personal Essay
Undergraduatekrushi - Sep 24, 2012 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2012
|CommonApp Essay - Whiteboards and Teddy Bears - Teacher experiences
2 - I entertained myself for years with this childish pastime, but soon enough, people were asking me what I wanted...
UndergraduateNFont - Sep 24, 2012 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2012
|'I redesigned my algorithms' - Questbridge Essay
2 - I can tell you're excited about your interests, which is great. However, you could work a little on awkward...
UndergraduateStanfordhopeful - Sep 27, 2012 / pdelvalle7 - Sep 27, 2012
|'always helping people' - FSU learning essay admission 2012
Undergraduatearielheaton - Sep 18, 2012 / arielheaton - Sep 27, 2012
|How a bike's nature is similar to contemporary society and I
Undergraduateelevit2 - Sep 27, 2012 / — -
|'part in the story' - FILM AND VIDEO TECHNOLOGY
2 - The way films unfolded always captured my imagination and has now led me to want a career in the...
Undergraduatetwitchtopsy - Sep 25, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 27, 2012
|Univ. of Virginia Admissions: Favorite Place to get lost - Shores of San Diego
2 - The thick cloud of flakes continues to fall, covering the few treetops jutting from the earth as if trying...
Undergraduatecolinsweeney - Sep 18, 2012 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2012
|Undergrad Transfer SOP - 'The letter of rejection'
Undergraduateramenhood - Sep 26, 2012 / ramenhood - Sep 27, 2012
|'Colombia and struggling father' - environment influenced who you are?
2 - My family's history has had a tremendous influence on the person who I am today.---I changed this a little....
Undergraduatepwincessssmaria - Sep 17, 2012 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2012
|common app: elaborate on one of your activities (a summer job)
Undergraduatejennyz - Sep 26, 2009 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2012
|USC Supplement Essay - Statement of Intent for Annenberg School for Comm & Journalism
2 - I really like your opening paragraph! As aforementioned, I am drawn to the media and entertainment industry primarily...
UndergraduateMundah94 - Sep 15, 2012 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2012
|college essay; describe my experience - one word: epiphany
2 - Since I have always been interested in ways to help people, I decided to intern at the New England...
UndergraduatePBP - Sep 15, 2012 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2012
|'strength, tradition, and the arts' - this is my essay for fsu care program
2 - For as far back as I can remember, my mother had to struggle to overcome challenges such so ......
Undergraduatejasminelatti - Sep 14, 2012 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2012
|clinical audit: introduction of an assignment
NEW - Hi, This is an introduction of an assignment talking about the effect of clinical audit on mental health...
Undergraduatemahasar - Sep 27, 2012 / — -
|Why I deem Reed a strong match for me?
2 - From what I have learned from a current Reed student, Reed provides its students with a great learning environment...
Undergraduateowuraku - Sep 13, 2012 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2012
|US Naval Academy congressional nomination interest essay
UndergraduateAengj - Sep 12, 2012 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2012
|Enthusiasm, Bagpipes & Muffins-Stanford Roommate Supplement
Undergraduatesrp284cave - Sep 21, 2012 / KhanhZ - Sep 27, 2012
|'My mother and her business plans' - UF Undergrad
Undergraduateiloveyou08 - Sep 13, 2012 / iloveyou08 - Sep 26, 2012
|'marine biology' -Cornell supplement and am looking for extra opinions
Undergraduatebellacose - Sep 10, 2012 / blaze321 - Sep 26, 2012
|'We are different' - Quest Bridge Diversity Essay
UndergraduateStanfordhopeful - Sep 26, 2012 / Stanfordhopeful - Sep 26, 2012
|The Painter and His Painting: A Critique for Philosophy
Undergraduatebsing03 - Sep 8, 2012 / maggers777 - Sep 26, 2012
|'End of scene' - Questbridge Essay; Which topic would this essay go better with?
2 - I'm thinking that it fits the second one, because you don't answer the "what does it tell us about...
Undergraduatepdelvalle7 - Sep 25, 2012 / readysetgrow - Sep 26, 2012
|Common Application Supplement "Why do you want to go to _____"
4 - Keep in mind, if you could replace "Carnegie Mellon" worth any other school name and the essay still makes...
Undergraduateanantsingh - Sep 26, 2012 / bellacose - Sep 26, 2012
|Common App Essay. Short answer on Extracurricular activities. "Step up as a musician"
2 - Try not to be negative, change the wording to shine the best light on yourself. When you say things...
Undergraduatesikjw1305 - Sep 17, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 26, 2012
|'Ballet Florida, my second home' - FSU essay
2 - Getting a $12,000 annual scholarship is an achievement and learning from your rehearsals and performing in general is great,...
Undergraduatecayleyc - Sep 17, 2012 / Jordan Zhu - Sep 26, 2012
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