|Undergraduate [25,738] - page 162 of 429|
|College essay- my mother's Schizophrenia has impacted my life?
7 - The intro really grabs my attention... because I had no idea where it was going. (: Haha, really can...
UndergraduateGuest - Jun 15, 2012 / hannahlorelei - Sep 23, 2012
|Steve Irwin and his impact- Texas A&M Topic A essay
Undergraduatendiduch - Sep 23, 2012 / ah_zafari - Sep 23, 2012
|Learning through desire - transfer essay from Umass to UTampa.
Undergraduateconnorjeepzj - Sep 23, 2012 / ah_zafari - Sep 23, 2012
|"Say cheese!" The flash of the camera
7 - Danielle, Overall, your grammar is flawless and the content of your essay reflects deep and well depicted thoughts....
UndergraduateDDougall - Sep 21, 2012 / meng1020j - Sep 23, 2012
|'Ocean Rescue Lifeguard'; Common App Work Experience Essay
2 - You sound a little bit like the victim, plainly state the experience and develop what you've learned off of...
Undergraduatewalker54 - Sep 23, 2012 / Guest - Sep 23, 2012
|I choose to be a pharmacist for so many reasons.
2 - There are so many careers in the health field in which a person can choose from. Maybe say this:...
Undergraduatemerna92 - Sep 20, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 23, 2012
|'countless adults and teens + My Tia Gema' - essay (impact/important person)
2 - ...From her stories, she has molded me into the person she always wanted to be; educated, bilingual, and determined....
Undergraduateceleste_07 - Sep 17, 2012 / sweetbitterrose - Sep 23, 2012
|"We must go where the work is" - QuestBridge Biographical - National Match
3 - Thank you for your comments russiannuzzy95, they are very encouraging. I will work on your suggestion!...
Undergraduatephasetwozero - Sep 20, 2012 / phasetwozero - Sep 23, 2012
|'My longtime love for mathematics is the main reason' - Questbridge application.
2 - "Initially this concept was hard for me to understand, she OFFERED ME credit..." Math is a bridge leading to...
Undergraduatedraxagar - Sep 22, 2012 / Stanfordhopeful - Sep 23, 2012
|General Personal Statement for addmissions and scholarships.
4 - forgive me, but here's an even more updated version Shallow people believe in luck. Strong people believe in...
Undergraduatesweatypi - Sep 22, 2012 / sweatypi - Sep 23, 2012
|'My mom' - my commonapp essay about who had impact on ur life
Undergraduatetopjackie - Sep 17, 2012 / topjackie - Sep 22, 2012
|'going to live with you' - Stanford Letter to Roommate
UndergraduateKhanhZ - Aug 31, 2012 / KhanhZ - Sep 22, 2012
|College App essay - flute playing - critique needed
2 - Katelyn, This is a really well done, well written essay. On a quick read through nothings jumping out...
Undergraduatekaykaykatelyn - Sep 22, 2012 / EF_Susan - Sep 22, 2012
|"Brandon - My true Best Friend" -Texas A&M Topic A
2 - These past three years have been three of the most difficult years of my life.T hree years ago, in...
Undergraduatendiduch - Sep 22, 2012 / DRitrosky - Sep 22, 2012
|Why Major and Why College combined (1000 characters)
2 - you don't have to keep repeating USC...the essay is specialized for that university and the admissons ppl know that,...
Undergraduateericasmily - Sep 22, 2012 / Birdiee - Sep 22, 2012
|"Diligence is the mother of good fortune" - Questbridge Essay
4 - Overall, the idea of the essay is good; especially, how you focus on the American Dream...colleges love stuff like...
Undergraduatemeng1020j - Sep 22, 2012 / DDougall - Sep 22, 2012
|Oh! The Places that Fate Will Take You---Peace Corps Application Essay #1
2 - I want to serve as a Peace Corp volunteer I want to direct my energy towards something that has...
Undergraduatesoystar342 - Sep 21, 2012 / chessman567 - Sep 21, 2012
|'Experiencing success' - University of Florida
2 - I find this intro odd, but it works. btw, it's "tales" not tails. congrats on your success story, but...
UndergraduateJDMONTY - Sep 8, 2012 / srp284cave - Sep 21, 2012
|'Psychology and Economics studies' - My Cornell supplemental essay
6 - Hello, This essay is very juvenile and unfocused. Your are applying to Cornell, one of the nations premier...
UndergraduateShayke_96 - Sep 13, 2012 / admission2012 - Sep 21, 2012
|University or Oregon Admissions essay
2 - You should rephrase this "I want to make a change in others lives by becoming a Pediatrics specialist."...
UndergraduateKNB - Sep 14, 2012 / srp284cave - Sep 21, 2012
|UChicago essay #1, "desire for particular type of learning" - prestige, name?
4 - well!! I think you've got my point more or less.. and u've been emphasising on the "learning" part quite...
Undergraduatemmcnulty25 - Sep 11, 2012 / tanvi3595 - Sep 21, 2012
|'I got my AP score' - UChicago nemesis essay, creative narrative email
4 - Even though there was no confusion as you say, I think you should base your story on something more...
Undergraduatemmcnulty25 - Sep 11, 2012 / KhanhZ - Sep 21, 2012
|'My brother made me stay quiet' - Someone that impacted your life
UndergraduateRamshaI - Sep 20, 2012 / — -
|Is abortion too controversial for the common app essay?
2 - Hi, Cameron) I think this topic is controversial for an application essay, however the problem with the essays about...
Undergraduatehighskoolgrad56 - Sep 19, 2012 / KhanhZ - Sep 20, 2012
|"Third Cultural Kid" - essay for major admission
3 - Jenny, Thank you so much for your help with grammar errors. Do you have any comments or suggestions for...
Undergraduateuniessay - Sep 11, 2012 / uniessay - Sep 20, 2012
|'fired from my fast-food job' - Supplement essay to my application
3 - Thank you ! Would you change anything else ? The structure, content, is the story as a whole appealing...
UndergraduateFreenchy - Sep 19, 2012 / Freenchy - Sep 20, 2012
|My opinion on class ranking, for the ApplyTexas B essay choose an issue of importance
2 - I am just a number in the eyes of a college admissions office. Too negative, maybe you can re-word...
UndergraduateGoodmattenator - Sep 16, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 19, 2012
|1 in 88 children in the world are affected by Autism
2 - When I was about 5, my youngest sister was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism that affects...
Undergraduateamcd - Sep 16, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 19, 2012
|'a bundle of energy' - Common App- Extracurricular
2 - At a young age,I dressed up and put on shows for the neighbors.toI performed under the bright lights at...
Undergraduatestephanie8895 - Sep 16, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 19, 2012
|'fingers on a keyboard' - University of Texas English Undergraduate SOP
2 - I really liked your essay but is the introduction necessary ? I think it was good but isn't it...
Undergraduatesomethingawful - Sep 11, 2012 / Freenchy - Sep 19, 2012
|"Capturing Life" - COLLEGE APPLICATION ESSAY
2 - A little clumsy. In general, you'd probably have to organize your thoughts. You focus on too many...
UndergraduateDDougall - Sep 18, 2012 / ace - Sep 18, 2012
|Review and Criticize my College Essay introduction
4 - First off thanks so much for taking the time to read my intro! And I completely agree, I think...
Undergraduatetmr17 - Sep 18, 2012 / tmr17 - Sep 18, 2012
|Temple Transfer Essay; 'received a phone call from Temple University'
4 - You should never start a sentence with the word 'Well.' It's even not an actual word - is it;...
Undergraduatebeelove - Sep 11, 2012 / ace - Sep 18, 2012
|'Two year work experience prior.. law' - Choose an issue of importance to you
NEW - After graduating school I'd like to enter to university to continue my education. But it was impossible because of...
UndergraduateMurgap78 - Sep 18, 2012 / — -
|'when I was child, story' - Write about a person that you admire
Undergraduatetakieu16 - Sep 18, 2012 / April April - Sep 18, 2012
|'Gangs as neighbors' - Bridgequest Struggle Essay
Undergraduatechas412 - Sep 14, 2012 / chas412 - Sep 18, 2012
|My goal is to become a successful engineer; Georgia Tech - CONTRIBUTION to Community
2 - Very good and to the point. Perhaps you should use a couple of paragraphs rather than one big paragraph....
Undergraduatellwf - Sep 17, 2012 / ace - Sep 18, 2012
|Most Embarrassing Situation In My Life
Undergraduatemonajha - Sep 12, 2012 / Isi - Sep 18, 2012
|'My parents were quite young when I was born' - Biographical- Questbridge
2 - For your essay, I would recommend focusing more on "showing" not "telling". It was very unfortunate that you had...
Undergraduateemy13 - Sep 8, 2012 / MrMaro - Sep 18, 2012
|COMMON APP ESSAY - EXPERIENCE AND IMPACT ON YOU
Undergraduatekeviny159357 - Sep 17, 2012 / devowalk - Sep 18, 2012
|'a better life for myself' - University of Florida essay
3 - "In fact, this obstacle aspired me to work harder." Should be "inspired" here. "...being the soul source of...
Undergraduateandrea31 - Aug 30, 2012 / devowalk - Sep 17, 2012
|'My handwriting is mine' - My Common App Topic of Choice
2 - Intriguing essay. You used an unconventional topic to make yourself stand out. In my opinion, you've earned brownie points...
Undergraduatelcpapili - Sep 17, 2012 / BachChaconne2 - Sep 17, 2012
|CommonApp Essay Beginning mainly for SYRACUSE UNIVERSITY
4 - I totally get what you're saying. Syracuse doesn't allow prospective film majors to submit a reel because the admissions...
Undergraduatesgrabie - Sep 11, 2012 / sgrabie - Sep 17, 2012
|Growing up with stereotypes -- common app essay
NEW - Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks in advance Final tossup. Last round of the tournament. Up against the...
Undergraduatecollege123 - Sep 17, 2012 / — -
|"Pole Dancer" Common App essay!
3 - this is hands down the funniest essay i've ever read. props to you for keeping it interesting and not...
Undergraduatebird0827 - Sep 15, 2012 / cayleyc - Sep 17, 2012
|UCF; "bump in the road" / qualities or unique characteristics do you possess
Undergraduatecedz - Sep 17, 2012 / cayleyc - Sep 17, 2012
|Novels as Lyrics. College Essay (UF Undergraduate Admissions)
2 - I find solace in the way words turn into music. Not literally, yet almost. There is a flow. A...
Undergraduatelindseytonn - Sep 6, 2012 / andrea31 - Sep 17, 2012
|University of California Prompt - Am I answering the question ?
2 - This is very good, but you didn't explain how your world has shaped your dreams. Also, you are doing...
Undergraduatenicedan - Sep 17, 2012 / janajackson - Sep 17, 2012
|Why should I consider becoming a CPA?
2 - I would consider pursuing a career in accounting. I think the main reason why I would consider becoming an...
Undergraduateiloveyuh16 - Sep 10, 2012 / andrea31 - Sep 17, 2012
|Impartial - one word to best describe my community - UC personal statement Promp
Undergraduatejanajackson - Sep 10, 2012 / janajackson - Sep 17, 2012
|'I went to a French school' - UC, Where you come from and your world.
3 - Pirateking Thank you very much for your advice! Aside from what you mentioned in your earlier comment, was there...
Undergraduatenorthnaomi - Sep 16, 2012 / northnaomi - Sep 16, 2012
|Sketching, painting, and drawing have become the vessels; UMCP;self-expression & why?
2 - Sketching, painting, and drawing have become the vessels that carry my perceptions into a physical representation which allows me...
Undergraduatematrushka1200 - Sep 16, 2012 / Pirateking - Sep 16, 2012
|'my community service hours' - Questbridge National College Match: Essay#1
NEW - Questbridge National College Match: Essay#1 Question:Tell us about an experience you have had or a concept you have...
UndergraduatePirateking - Sep 16, 2012 / — -
|skateboarding - over thousands of hours throughout the years - has shaped me
2 - Around the end of middle school I discovered skateboarding, and would subsequently have to wait till Christmas to get...
Undergraduatelevon - Sep 16, 2012 / Pirateking - Sep 16, 2012
|'graphic design and illustration' - Empire state college admission essay
2 - Overall it's a good essay, but it is a little bit repetitive. Since the college wants to know about...
Undergraduatephoenix45 - Sep 16, 2012 / TooDamn_Funky - Sep 16, 2012
|I am a "DI'er" - Speech and Debate Extracurricular Essay
2 - Dear Sir, Please feedback my paragraph of advantage of Internet to me Nowadays,the people using the Internet are...
Undergraduateannhrue - Sep 15, 2012 / Souksakhone - Sep 16, 2012
|'the daily time table' - 100 words: We know you lead a busy life, full of activities
4 - Busy following the daily time table i make for myself, I often find pleasure sitting alone with puppies and...
Undergraduateesarcosmos - Sep 1, 2012 / oanhmiss2 - Sep 16, 2012
|Do comment on relevance of topic; SHORT ANSWER ESSAY; temple in the courtyard
2 - The placid environment created by the Holy Bhagvat Geeta chants from the temple in the courtyard starts my day....
Undergraduateesarcosmos - Sep 11, 2012 / azrahman - Sep 15, 2012
|Formal memo to introduce self, mainly on academic and career
2 - Comments: There are some grammatical errors in this. For example, ...and I'm forced to change it.... should be: and...
Undergraduateedwardamin13 - Sep 4, 2012 / dwadhwa - Sep 15, 2012
|Compare and Contrast Essay; TOPIC: Apocalypse
2 - Perhaps you could compare/contrast atheist vs. christian views concerning the apocalypse? (Also, shouldn't your thesis statement introduce the two...
Undergraduateejayshun - Sep 12, 2012 / nikhi - Sep 15, 2012
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