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|'searching for my dream' - U Michigan Supp
3 - And The LSA Plan is just there to provide me with those opportunities. You may want to omit the...
Undergraduateellecc - Aug 24, 2012 / emy13 - Sep 8, 2012
|My older brother made a behemoth impact on my life/ Common App/Significant Influence
3 - Its good you should just emphasis on chronology otherwise that's all good and yup well written ......
Undergraduatebisonbabebri95 - Sep 8, 2012 / esarcosmos - Sep 8, 2012
|The Fried Chicken Inspiration- UNDERGRADUATE ADMISSION SUPPLEMENTAL ESSAY
3 - I totally agree with you about most families making such poor dietary choices. I have to say that I...
Undergraduatebackenziemrown - Sep 6, 2012 / tau - Sep 7, 2012
|'I couldn't read or speak' - My inspiration that helped me overcome obstacles
UndergraduateMacrusa - Sep 5, 2012 / tau - Sep 7, 2012
|Someone who influenced me University of Texas @ Austin; The art of communication
4 - great essay it makes alot of sense and the background info seems abt right i have a bestfriend from...
Undergraduatepsav - Sep 3, 2012 / mariamalmasri - Sep 7, 2012
|Personal Essay: VISIT FROM MADAMOISELLE ALOPECIA
3 - my head could not have being a hairstyle....i think you mean or should put been a hairstyle instead of...
Undergraduateveyronalexander - Sep 4, 2012 / mariamalmasri - Sep 7, 2012
|MIT places great value in freedom, daring and creativity! Which department /program ?
Undergraduateadwuga - Sep 6, 2012 / adwuga - Sep 6, 2012
|College Essay - "A Battle Fought Together"
3 - Anki145, Thanks so much for taking your time out to edit my essay ! It truly means alot.I will...
Undergraduatesummerk56 - Sep 5, 2012 / summerk56 - Sep 6, 2012
|having hard time picking between two college app essays...
Undergraduatepcvrz34g - Sep 6, 2012 / SweetFaith - Sep 6, 2012
|About me essay (competitive swimming) - making it more formal, and smoother transititions
NEW - Sometimes, Mrs. Roberston, I really desire to punch you in the face. I learn a lot of life lessons...
Undergraduatephysics - Sep 6, 2012 / — -
|Certainty is what matters. stanford essay.
7 - I don't like the Once upon a time but the quote is certainly beautiful. It really shows your character...
UndergraduateKhanhZ - Sep 4, 2012 / Macrusa - Sep 5, 2012
|My family's conflict and how I was influenced (determination and fairness)
11 - Thanks...
UndergraduateMacrusa - Aug 13, 2012 / Macrusa - Sep 5, 2012
|'With my older brother' - Texas State Admissions
3 - The overall message of this essay is great. It grasps the readers attention when you talk about how your...
Undergraduatehcos711 - Sep 5, 2012 / lizziemando - Sep 5, 2012
|BFA Graphic Design; I received my Associates Degree in Music and Video Business
Undergraduatetbone0813 - Sep 4, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Sep 5, 2012
|'I was shy.' - University of MIchigan supplement
Undergraduateellecc - Aug 22, 2012 / ellecc - Sep 5, 2012
|UNC Supplement - "The Vaccine"
Undergraduatehesterfm - Sep 4, 2012 / dumi - Sep 5, 2012
|How did you hear about "competitive school"?
7 - Well, if it is 300 chars instead of 300 words, you can't afford to waste any letters. Jump to...
UndergraduateRicky927 - Sep 3, 2012 / Dactylic126 - Sep 5, 2012
|'a passion of studying Economics' -my personal essay one on a significant experience.
5 - I like how you explained why economics really relates to you and your history with it, but I feel...
Undergraduateshidooh - Aug 25, 2012 / emy13 - Sep 4, 2012
|'Operation on human heart' - Meaningful event - affect your college experience?
UndergraduateDRitrosky - Sep 3, 2012 / DRitrosky - Sep 4, 2012
|WHY YALE SHORT ANSWER; 'Fred Plaut Recording Studio and The Shubert Centre'
4 - Your revision is better than the original--less name-dropping is a plus. Names are cheap to get and require less...
UndergraduateRechy - Sep 3, 2012 / calvin46689 - Sep 4, 2012
|'my non curricular stuff' - 300 words for UIUC's essay#2
NEW - UIUC's ESSAY #2: In an essay of 300 words or less, tell us something about yourself that isn't covered...
Undergraduatebaneblades - Sep 4, 2012 / — -
|Rutgers Essay-Religious Diversity
Undergraduatejh2013 - Sep 2, 2012 / thaonguyen1901 - Sep 4, 2012
|UVA Supplement Essay - The Word; "Festive"
2 - I love this short essay. I don't have any comments about your idea because it's enough special. I just...
Undergraduatenathancbritt - Sep 3, 2012 / thaonguyen1901 - Sep 4, 2012
|Engineering is where my passion lies; MECHANICAL ENGINEERING
4 - i think you should add a little more elaboration on your every point trying to be made then your...
Undergraduategaowenai - Sep 3, 2012 / mariamalmasri - Sep 4, 2012
|'Dark Materials Trilogy' - NYU: What Intrigues You - Parallel Universes
2 - Hello, vicepres18 First of all indicate your real name, so nobody dares to copy your work. Second, i think...
Undergraduatevicepres18 - Sep 3, 2012 / KhanhZ - Sep 4, 2012
|'Our values match' - Colorado College - supplemental essay - why CC?
2 - Your sup essay is good and shows that you find out many information before applying. It displays your full...
Undergraduatenatpete - Sep 2, 2012 / thaonguyen1901 - Sep 4, 2012
|Babson Roommate essay: tip of the iceberg
Undergraduatesh90210 - Sep 4, 2012 / dumi - Sep 4, 2012
|'direction for the future' - Common app number 1, peer leaderhship!
2 - Overall, this is a good essay, but there's something abstract: "many new experience" "significant experience" You should make them...
Undergraduateashleymanoff - Sep 3, 2012 / nnrn55 - Sep 4, 2012
|Summer of Medical and Dental Educational Program at Yale University Medical School
3 - Thank you for your feedback! These are my top five schools (out of 12) Amherst, Johns Hopkins, Wesleyan, The...
Undergraduatefefe176 - Sep 3, 2012 / fefe176 - Sep 3, 2012
|'A timid countenance and window reflection' - My commonapp essay
2 - Not a bad piece of writing, but avoid using too many of the pronoun "I." Also, while I understand...
Undergraduateluciodery - Sep 3, 2012 / jchoe82 - Sep 3, 2012
|'The transformation' - University of Florida Essay- my accomplishment
2 - Hi Anna, your essay is very similar to mine. I think you presented you experiance in a vivid way...
Undergraduateagoldtho - Sep 3, 2012 / luciodery - Sep 3, 2012
|'he is my father' - ApplyTexas Essay undergraduate prompt A
2 - I would strongly suggest against restating the prompt in your essay, especially in the first sentence. ...
UndergraduateZachhturner - Sep 3, 2012 / BluesPresidente - Sep 3, 2012
|'self-fulfilling prophesy' -Common App- Significant Experience with Youth Orchestra
2 - The language used is quite impressive! I would just advise not to go so far into the story and...
UndergraduateBluesPresidente - Sep 3, 2012 / nathancbritt - Sep 3, 2012
|FSU ADMISSIONS ESSAY 2012 - leadership, learning, service, etc
NEW - Florida State University is more than just a world-class academic institution preparing you for a future career. We are...
UndergraduateSteponme - Sep 3, 2012 / — -
|Dance, Indian art, and emotions - UIUC Essay Supplement
2 - This is really well written the only thing I would change is this sentence I continued to learn...
Undergraduatehazel94 - Sep 2, 2012 / agoldtho - Sep 3, 2012
|'new kid in the school district' - Football essay for Princeton App
5 - Thanks for the feedback! How do you recommend taking a different approach? Writing is in no way my strongest...
Undergraduatevoteforandy1 - Sep 3, 2012 / voteforandy1 - Sep 3, 2012
|"Yearbook Judgement Day"- UF application essay
Undergraduateblakehustey - Sep 2, 2012 / riskatun - Sep 3, 2012
|Science students don't write - Stanford's essay
7 - the "battling stereotypes" theme is one of the most tired of all, but this is a great, refreshing take...
Undergraduateriskatun - Aug 29, 2012 / malv1009 - Sep 3, 2012
|"What's going on in my family" - Florida State University Essay- Global awareness
2 - Hey! You're essay so far is pretty well focused and interesting. One thing I do think should be changed...
Undergraduateagoldtho - Sep 3, 2012 / APD - Sep 3, 2012
|"Just ten more steps" - Common App Short: essay on my experience in cross country
4 - Okay, let us be quite frank over here. Your short answer is quite great! But my advice would be:...
Undergraduatebellem1 - Aug 27, 2012 / LillyCullenT - Sep 3, 2012
|'my dedication towards my profession' - Duke University A&S Short Essay
2 - I wouldn't say "I despise those characteristics". Perhaps something less extreme. Also, I think something you may want to...
Undergraduatecollegebound16 - Sep 3, 2012 / voteforandy1 - Sep 3, 2012
|'moved to a new house' - Personal Essay for Princeton App
Undergraduatevoteforandy1 - Aug 23, 2012 / voteforandy1 - Sep 3, 2012
|'Sharing knowledge is crucial' - Spelman Admissions Essay. Good? Bad?
2 - Hey! I think you essay is well written but of course like any essay could use some modifying. Your...
Undergraduatekaylacj1 - Sep 2, 2012 / APD - Sep 2, 2012
|"it's an adrenaline rush" - NYU- What intrigues you
4 - Your essay is great! In such a short length, you have clearly stated your message and how music has...
Undergraduate13Oseik - Aug 26, 2012 / khan2013 - Sep 2, 2012
|'neither recognized nor rewarded' - Common App
6 - Your vocabulary is wonderful! It really adds to the details and imagery you are trying to portray. As for...
UndergraduateDoom - Aug 27, 2012 / khan2013 - Sep 2, 2012
|"Dr. Seuss's impcact" - COMMON APP- Someone who has made an impact on your life.
7 - Akshay- Thanks for heads up! I didn't realize it was just a page length now! I will make sure...
Undergraduatekhan2013 - Aug 22, 2012 / khan2013 - Sep 2, 2012
|'PURPOSE-DRIVEN' - Essay on a personal experience and its impact
2 - Great work, Sphinx! I love the structure of your essay! If I could only give you one advice, it...
Undergraduatesphinx - Aug 31, 2012 / LillyCullenT - Sep 2, 2012
|'my excitement to return to work' - Transfer essay - sensitive topic?
4 - I really enjoyed your essay and I couldn't really pinpoint anything wrong in your mechanics,however there's something you need...
Undergraduateheartitude - Feb 28, 2012 / Emir101 - Sep 2, 2012
|"Working at my father's real estate office" - My Princeton Summer Essay
6 - Hey Lilly. I'll work on the introductory sentence. Are there any other areas I need to work on? Thanks...
UndergraduateRechy - Sep 2, 2012 / Rechy - Sep 2, 2012
|DREXEL VIP application essay- Why I want to major in 'Still Deciding' science
4 - Hi sorry i cant help you with that unfortunately because im not really familiar enough with cambridge itself, you...
Undergraduatealooa95 - Aug 30, 2012 / pretty3295 - Sep 2, 2012
|My Bangladeshi grandfather influenced me
2 - You have minor spelling mistakes, so make sure to use spellcheck. Other than that, build up on what you...
Undergraduatenazzaman - Sep 2, 2012 / hazel94 - Sep 2, 2012
|"Speedo" JHU Supplement Essay-Why choose this certain major
4 - Try varying sentence structure more, some sentences in your essay feel choppy and don't flow well enough....
Undergraduatevvchitta - Aug 29, 2012 / KhanhZ - Sep 2, 2012
|My Spelman Essay for the Peds program, for nontraditional students..
Undergraduatesharasims - Aug 26, 2012 / sharasims - Sep 2, 2012
|'Standing for what I believe in' - Psychology- Essay for UIUC
3 - How's this? People constantly ask me why I want to study psychology. While I was growing up, my...
Undergraduatehazel94 - Sep 1, 2012 / hazel94 - Sep 1, 2012
|'world-class faculty' - Princeton Engineering Supplement Essay help
UndergraduateDeNeil10 - Aug 31, 2012 / twinklae - Sep 1, 2012
|'keen interest in chemistry' - University of Illinois- Urbana Champaign
2 - This is a really good essay! It's well written, well executed and definitely shows your passion for chemistry. ...
UndergraduateUncleTungsten - Sep 1, 2012 / hazel94 - Sep 1, 2012
|I expect that my education at the art institute will help me become a legendary restaurant chef
2 - First of all, some grammatical errors: ...legendary chef along with open my own restaurants should be changed. Maybe make...
Undergraduatebriannaj0110 - Aug 31, 2012 / UncleTungsten - Sep 1, 2012
|Diversity Achievers Program Essay ( Lehigh University)
UndergraduateEmir101 - Sep 1, 2012 / pretty3295 - Sep 1, 2012
|'simple girl with a goal' - Purdue essay autobio In troduction +title
2 - Hmmm, there were some grammatical mistakes here. I screw up my eyes from bright lights of projectors and...
Undergraduatemoonlightkzkz - Aug 30, 2012 / twinklae - Sep 1, 2012
|'Sharing information with Carliza' - personal statement.. to be ivy league worthy
2 - I can tell that you have a real passion for this topic, but have some suggestions. Might want to...
Undergraduateforeverizel - Aug 31, 2012 / DeNeil10 - Aug 31, 2012
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