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|Science students don't write - Stanford's essay
7 - the "battling stereotypes" theme is one of the most tired of all, but this is a great, refreshing take...
Undergraduateriskatun - Aug 29, 2012 / malv1009 - Sep 3, 2012
|"What's going on in my family" - Florida State University Essay- Global awareness
2 - Hey! You're essay so far is pretty well focused and interesting. One thing I do think should be changed...
Undergraduateagoldtho - Sep 3, 2012 / APD - Sep 3, 2012
|"Just ten more steps" - Common App Short: essay on my experience in cross country
4 - Okay, let us be quite frank over here. Your short answer is quite great! But my advice would be:...
Undergraduatebellem1 - Aug 27, 2012 / LillyCullenT - Sep 3, 2012
|'my dedication towards my profession' - Duke University A&S Short Essay
2 - I wouldn't say "I despise those characteristics". Perhaps something less extreme. Also, I think something you may want to...
Undergraduatecollegebound16 - Sep 3, 2012 / voteforandy1 - Sep 3, 2012
|'moved to a new house' - Personal Essay for Princeton App
Undergraduatevoteforandy1 - Aug 23, 2012 / voteforandy1 - Sep 3, 2012
|'Sharing knowledge is crucial' - Spelman Admissions Essay. Good? Bad?
2 - Hey! I think you essay is well written but of course like any essay could use some modifying. Your...
Undergraduatekaylacj1 - Sep 2, 2012 / APD - Sep 2, 2012
|"it's an adrenaline rush" - NYU- What intrigues you
4 - Your essay is great! In such a short length, you have clearly stated your message and how music has...
Undergraduate13Oseik - Aug 26, 2012 / khan2013 - Sep 2, 2012
|'neither recognized nor rewarded' - Common App
6 - Your vocabulary is wonderful! It really adds to the details and imagery you are trying to portray. As for...
UndergraduateDoom - Aug 27, 2012 / khan2013 - Sep 2, 2012
|"Dr. Seuss's impcact" - COMMON APP- Someone who has made an impact on your life.
7 - Akshay- Thanks for heads up! I didn't realize it was just a page length now! I will make sure...
Undergraduatekhan2013 - Aug 22, 2012 / khan2013 - Sep 2, 2012
|'PURPOSE-DRIVEN' - Essay on a personal experience and its impact
2 - Great work, Sphinx! I love the structure of your essay! If I could only give you one advice, it...
Undergraduatesphinx - Aug 31, 2012 / LillyCullenT - Sep 2, 2012
|'my excitement to return to work' - Transfer essay - sensitive topic?
4 - I really enjoyed your essay and I couldn't really pinpoint anything wrong in your mechanics,however there's something you need...
Undergraduateheartitude - Feb 28, 2012 / Emir101 - Sep 2, 2012
|"Working at my father's real estate office" - My Princeton Summer Essay
6 - Hey Lilly. I'll work on the introductory sentence. Are there any other areas I need to work on? Thanks...
UndergraduateRechy - Sep 2, 2012 / Rechy - Sep 2, 2012
|DREXEL VIP application essay- Why I want to major in 'Still Deciding' science
4 - Hi sorry i cant help you with that unfortunately because im not really familiar enough with cambridge itself, you...
Undergraduatealooa95 - Aug 30, 2012 / pretty3295 - Sep 2, 2012
|My Bangladeshi grandfather influenced me
2 - You have minor spelling mistakes, so make sure to use spellcheck. Other than that, build up on what you...
Undergraduatenazzaman - Sep 2, 2012 / hazel94 - Sep 2, 2012
|"Speedo" JHU Supplement Essay-Why choose this certain major
4 - Try varying sentence structure more, some sentences in your essay feel choppy and don't flow well enough....
Undergraduatevvchitta - Aug 29, 2012 / KhanhZ - Sep 2, 2012
|My Spelman Essay for the Peds program, for nontraditional students..
Undergraduatesharasims - Aug 26, 2012 / sharasims - Sep 2, 2012
|'Standing for what I believe in' - Psychology- Essay for UIUC
3 - How's this? People constantly ask me why I want to study psychology. While I was growing up, my...
Undergraduatehazel94 - Sep 1, 2012 / hazel94 - Sep 1, 2012
|'world-class faculty' - Princeton Engineering Supplement Essay help
UndergraduateDeNeil10 - Aug 31, 2012 / twinklae - Sep 1, 2012
|'keen interest in chemistry' - University of Illinois- Urbana Champaign
2 - This is a really good essay! It's well written, well executed and definitely shows your passion for chemistry. ...
UndergraduateUncleTungsten - Sep 1, 2012 / hazel94 - Sep 1, 2012
|I expect that my education at the art institute will help me become a legendary restaurant chef
2 - First of all, some grammatical errors: ...legendary chef along with open my own restaurants should be changed. Maybe make...
Undergraduatebriannaj0110 - Aug 31, 2012 / UncleTungsten - Sep 1, 2012
|Diversity Achievers Program Essay ( Lehigh University)
UndergraduateEmir101 - Sep 1, 2012 / pretty3295 - Sep 1, 2012
|'simple girl with a goal' - Purdue essay autobio In troduction +title
2 - Hmmm, there were some grammatical mistakes here. I screw up my eyes from bright lights of projectors and...
Undergraduatemoonlightkzkz - Aug 30, 2012 / twinklae - Sep 1, 2012
|'Sharing information with Carliza' - personal statement.. to be ivy league worthy
2 - I can tell that you have a real passion for this topic, but have some suggestions. Might want to...
Undergraduateforeverizel - Aug 31, 2012 / DeNeil10 - Aug 31, 2012
|'Mimi taught me' - UT Austin Admissions Essay Topic A: My english tutor
UndergraduateGunnybear304 - Aug 24, 2012 / Gunnybear304 - Aug 31, 2012
|"Like father, like son" - : Someone who's made an impact in your life?
UndergraduateDanielGonzalez - Aug 31, 2012 / foreverizel - Aug 31, 2012
|'hours, days and months - A Day in the Year of 2045' - Common App Essay
3 - I must say that the way you describe your breakfast would make no one anxious for it. Perhaps modify...
UndergraduatessenroF - Aug 30, 2012 / dixiej - Aug 31, 2012
|the name "The Matrix" - Why CMU? Essay
UndergraduateAldo111 - Aug 24, 2012 / sphinx - Aug 31, 2012
|UCF Essays (Family, Country Teaching) / (Knowledge is my love)
2 - Greetings, Kyle) Your answers for these two question are not original I guess,everyone who applies to college is supposed...
UndergraduateBoldTitan - Aug 22, 2012 / KhanhZ - Aug 31, 2012
|'an aspiring Accountant' - recommendation essay for rutgers
Undergraduateblk2daxtreme - Aug 29, 2012 / blk2daxtreme - Aug 31, 2012
|Comfort, Texas Style. - Common Application UNC Supplement
Undergraduatercarlson95 - Aug 29, 2012 / rcarlson95 - Aug 30, 2012
|'My first semester in college' - Short intro to admissions essay
4 - I suggest this last sentence: This taught me the importance of not only going to college but also about...
Undergraduatewelc2774 - Aug 28, 2012 / elizabethva - Aug 30, 2012
|'something that has puzzled you in life' - Essay Topic for University Admission
4 - Okay I tried writing the second essay and here is what i came up with. ________ Throughout my...
UndergraduateRyoJinKyu - Aug 21, 2012 / RyoJinKyu - Aug 30, 2012
|'through all of my research' - University of Chicago Supplement - Why Chicago?
Undergraduateannhrue - Aug 30, 2012 / annhrue - Aug 30, 2012
|'a domino effect' - UF essay rough draft
2 - Hello, I liked that you emphasized your relationship with your stepfather and how he helped you realize your...
Undergraduatesaltwatergame - Aug 26, 2012 / twinklae - Aug 30, 2012
|'Village life / Learner / Mathematics' - Bucknell University Supplement essay
3 - Bianca, Glad u liked it. Could u please specify end of which part(1,2 or 3) are u talking about?or,all...
Undergraduatewhoami - Aug 28, 2012 / whoami - Aug 29, 2012
|'majoring in biochemistry beneficial to me' -UC Transfer Applicant Personal Statement
2 - Overall your personal statement looks good. I think you could explain further more about the Space Science day. first...
Undergraduatetimmmypang - Aug 26, 2012 / Yoh - Aug 29, 2012
|I love being a nurse...Personal Statement for Nurse Practitioner Program
2 - ...
Undergraduatejburkh02 - Aug 29, 2012 / dumi - Aug 29, 2012
|Walking Barefoot - Common App Essay Take 1
3 - My! I definitely liked your piece. I agree with Karina's verdict . I must disagree though on the "...
Undergraduateannhrue - Aug 25, 2012 / riskatun - Aug 29, 2012
|India petroleum engineering- statement of purpose for undergrad admission in the USA
NEW - hi, i'm christopher from india. i need help with this sop, i've created.does it have any errors and will...
Undergraduatechris9 - Aug 29, 2012 / — -
|"Imagined Enemy essay" - University of Chicago Supplement
2 - Seems like a potentially good essay to be honest, and in my opinion, I think UChicago may like your...
UndergraduatePaalexander - Aug 23, 2012 / Liebe - Aug 29, 2012
|'Second year saw no decline in my enthusiasm'; Engineering Lessons, science club
2 - Very descriptive and shows that you have a real passion for engineering and science which is what colleges are...
Undergraduateriskatun - Aug 28, 2012 / annhrue - Aug 28, 2012
|'Sweat to Success' - Common App Short Answer Essay
4 - Okay thanks alot Kevin, but isn't my essay unique. Obviously people are going to have the same ideas but...
Undergraduatebabji - Aug 26, 2012 / babji - Aug 28, 2012
|'Thanks to meeting Asad' - Inspirational Person for admissions essay
3 - Ya what you said makes sense. I described him alot, but not really specifically how I changed myself. Will...
Undergraduatefreakosaur - Aug 26, 2012 / freakosaur - Aug 28, 2012
|'Sustainable food = a feasible task" - University of Michigan at Ann Arbor supplement
2 - Hello, Generally a good essay. However, you do not fully answer the prompt....What is your place in this...
Undergraduateyehitsjonathan - Aug 28, 2012 / admission2012 - Aug 28, 2012
|"Why Software engineering?"- Drexel VIP short essay
2 - While informative, when I asked for advice on my engineering essay I was told to briefly talk about my...
Undergraduatealooa95 - Aug 28, 2012 / ssenroF - Aug 28, 2012
|"Villagers of India" - Common App Essay- Person of Influence
Undergraduatesrp284cave - Aug 23, 2012 / molluscs - Aug 28, 2012
|A Passing View - Williams Supplement Essay
3 - I have to agree with tallyndow, beautiful imagery! and the way you connected everything. Your last sentence connects it...
Undergraduatecarolinegimello - Aug 21, 2012 / db2730 - Aug 27, 2012
|'a beach near Istanbul' - Williams supplemental essay
6 - Some time two summers ago, I was walking on a beach near Istanbul. The sand felt hot and soft...
Undergraduatedb2730 - Aug 20, 2012 / db2730 - Aug 27, 2012
|Common App: Extracurricular Activities (Volunteer at Hospital)
5 - I definitely prefer the second one! Not talking about your major enables us to connect your motivation and your...
Undergraduate4cait4 - Aug 25, 2012 / db2730 - Aug 27, 2012
|Common App Work Experience - working at a car repair shop
4 - Hi, I get what liebe said. Try not to explain everything so much and cut some words. For instance:...
UndergraduateMichaeleChenx44 - Aug 25, 2012 / db2730 - Aug 27, 2012
|Family history inspiration (UCF Essay) !
Undergraduatejessawesomeness - Aug 26, 2012 / jessawesomeness - Aug 27, 2012
|"Rising from failure" Common App Essay Option 1 (Significant exp... etc)
4 - Wow! you certainly have a wide vocabulary. However, this could be an obstacle instead of a help. A wise...
Undergraduateiloverice - Aug 23, 2012 / Doom - Aug 27, 2012
|'different racial background' - Common App Choose an Issue of Importance
6 - I recommend you write about how that experience changed you, how it shaped your motivations and desires. you seem...
UndergraduateJeffries - Aug 25, 2012 / Doom - Aug 27, 2012
|'my choice in economics as my major' - UT Purpose Statement
3 - I respectfully disagree with the above poster. The fact you are so candid in your writing reflects your character....
Undergraduateguscepeda11 - Aug 22, 2012 / Doom - Aug 27, 2012
|What outrages you? what are you doing about it? college short answer
3 - Write about whatever it is you can write about, as long as the essay isnt boring, lame, cliched etc...
Undergraduateabby123 - Oct 2, 2011 / Liebe - Aug 27, 2012
|"Knowledge is power" - U Michigan/ extracurricular activities or work experiences
2 - Hello, This is a very impersonal and boring essay. Talk about a specific experience while volunteering at the...
Undergraduatedandaman17 - Aug 26, 2012 / admission2012 - Aug 27, 2012
|(TransferEssay- 1 Semester)- Reasons for Leaving & Academic Goals at UCONN :)
5 - Thanks Ann! Glad you liked it, reassurance is such an amazing thing! So I'm going to submit it and...
UndergraduateMrAndy1 - Aug 20, 2012 / MrAndy1 - Aug 26, 2012
|'understanding of the kind of person I am' - Georgia Tech Essay 2 Letter
2 - If i was reading your essay, as a potential roommate i wouldn't think twice about bunking with you! It...
UndergraduateAldo111 - Aug 25, 2012 / Optimus - Aug 26, 2012
|Your reasons for wanting to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer
2 - It might have been helpful (for those reviewing your statement) to state what the challenges that you are addressing...
Undergraduateesibinski - Aug 25, 2012 / leanne2012 - Aug 25, 2012
|"The world I come from" -Uc Prompt (dark and twisted)
2 - I love the topic!! I also come from a background of substantial struggle which I finally overcame after several...
UndergraduateFaith4 - Aug 25, 2012 / MrAndy1 - Aug 25, 2012
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