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|'Reading Program by Involving Parents' - Leadership Activity Essay
UndergraduateAdin - Aug 8, 2012 / Adin - Aug 13, 2012
|'Heroes and Cool Kids' - College Essay - Event that shaped/changed life
NEW - I was at my sister's basketball game and a twelve year old girl from across the gym had smiled...
Undergraduateginabeeee - Aug 13, 2012 / — -
|'loving to run' - Common Application - Write about whatever you want
Undergraduateginabeeee - Aug 13, 2012 / — -
|'learning experience' - the greatest benefit(s) of a diverse educational community?
2 - This is pretty good, but I get the feeling that any student could have written this as a personal...
Undergraduatetokiwong - Aug 10, 2012 / topstardog - Aug 13, 2012
|'the independence and confidence' - family history, culture, or environment and me
4 - No, thanks Long. I took the IELTS exam about 3 moths ago and other generous people, like you,...
Undergraduateariellw2013 - Aug 8, 2012 / ah_zafari - Aug 13, 2012
|'Playing Piano to help others' - Common Application Short Answer
2 - HI, Morgan) In my opinion, it's would be more interesting to describe one occasion/event( something like that) tied with...
Undergraduatemorgana131 - Aug 12, 2012 / KhanhZ - Aug 13, 2012
|Extracurricular Activity jiu-jitsu- essay
5 - That's a unique activity you got there. Itwill be really helpful on your resume and stuff also....
Undergraduatecanigetinhere - Aug 10, 2012 / dobalilago - Aug 12, 2012
|'talent in the field' - the world I was surrounded and how it shaped your dream
Undergraduatedobalilago - Aug 11, 2012 / dobalilago - Aug 12, 2012
|"Representative Powers" - UF application essay
NEW - This is my essay for the UF application, was wondering if somebody could please give me input on anything...
Undergraduatemaggers777 - Aug 12, 2012 / — -
|U of Mich Supplement Community Essay "Running Community"
4 - Yeah it's not going to be very easy, sometimes though there is so much you can write about! But,...
UndergraduateElizabethHay - Aug 5, 2012 / Bobino23 - Aug 11, 2012
|'Poverty and the face of that man' - Common App essay question
UndergraduateBobino23 - Jul 28, 2012 / Bobino23 - Aug 11, 2012
|'fascination of people' - Reason for applying to Empire State College
Undergraduatecduy252 - Aug 10, 2012 / cduy252 - Aug 11, 2012
|Summer Volunteering Job, Amelia - Common App Essay Topic #1
3 - Thanks for the response! Any critiques? I have been told I need to cut my last commentary part down...
Undergraduatepcm1106 - Aug 10, 2012 / pcm1106 - Aug 11, 2012
|'so special and welcoming' - Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
Undergraduatesoccerislife - Aug 10, 2012 / PBP - Aug 10, 2012
|'Baseball is boring?' - Extracurricular essay for common app
2 - My cousins have always said, " Baseball is boring because you are not always active". However, this did not...
UndergraduatePBP - Aug 10, 2012 / tokiwong - Aug 10, 2012
|Determined to finish my degree haven't been in school for 2 1/2 yrs readmission essay
2 - "But there is no time like the present to make a positive change. Given the opportunity to finish my...
Undergraduategilligan715 - Aug 10, 2012 / amitt - Aug 10, 2012
|"the patient's life" - Common app Short Essay
3 - I agree with Ahmad. I don't think the negativity is needed, especially since the people reading these essays are...
UndergraduatePBP - Aug 9, 2012 / mforero333 - Aug 10, 2012
|'hearing those silly questions' - Questbridge Essay (Critique)
Undergraduatemforero333 - Aug 9, 2012 / Msx punk - Aug 10, 2012
|(career goals, music, high school, inspiration, weekend,.) -Questbridge Short Answers
Undergraduatemforero333 - Aug 6, 2012 / PBP - Aug 10, 2012
|'leaving the military' - someone who has impacted your life. College app.
5 - Thanks again Jenny. You really have helped me so much. I did some re-wording and rewriting for some of...
Undergraduatemine505 - Aug 6, 2012 / mine505 - Aug 9, 2012
|'becoming more forgiving' - Personal Statement for Common App: Betrayal
5 - You need to fix the structure of this essay. And you have to answer the question about how this...
Undergraduateeriicax3x3 - Aug 4, 2012 / andshewashappy8 - Aug 9, 2012
|The True Insipiration / Imporant person in my life
3 - Webster's dictionary defines the term " impact" as " having a direct effect on." Numerous people have had...
Undergraduatemaryk_4263 - Aug 1, 2012 / deepakbaniya - Aug 9, 2012
|'The world of nursing' - one paragraph from my essay
UndergraduateLepsirc - Aug 7, 2012 / naijaprincess - Aug 9, 2012
|'Playing a musical instrument' - significant experiences that have helped define you
Undergraduatekeiloves - Aug 9, 2012 / naijaprincess - Aug 9, 2012
|UC Prompt #1 Being Iranian-American
5 - yea grammar is one of the most difficult things for me in my writing, i would love your help!...and...
Undergraduatemayce - Aug 6, 2012 / mayce - Aug 8, 2012
|(I write poetry / Planting) - Two Extra-curricular Activities
Undergraduatecrada - Aug 8, 2012 / Rechy - Aug 8, 2012
|"Two Busts To My Left" - choice of your own college essay
Undergraduatecrada - Aug 7, 2012 / KhanhZ - Aug 8, 2012
|'Despite my efforts...' - Jesus APPLY TEXAS prompt A essay response
UndergraduateFash - Aug 6, 2012 / mitsos - Aug 7, 2012
|If i were an animal, I'd be the queen of the jungle- common app essay
7 - Hi Natalia, I think the lion metaphor is nice. However, I don't see 'the lion you' in your essay....
UndergraduateNatalieHan - Jul 23, 2012 / tramnguyen307 - Aug 7, 2012
|'first class reputation' - personal statement (International relations)
2 - I am anindependent and self-motivated person as well as dedicated to my studies and actively involved in my school...
UndergraduateAsami - Aug 6, 2012 / faruqiumair - Aug 7, 2012
|'I want to feel proud' - Transfer Essay - Reasons for transferring
2 - Hi Skander, You should add more about what that school (or the department) you're transferring to has to...
Undergraduateskanz - Aug 4, 2012 / April April - Aug 6, 2012
|'what will it require' - My personal statement to become a Journalist at UCF
3 - Thank you sooooo much, I really need great feedback and you provided this for me. I appreciate it very...
Undergraduateariellw2013 - Aug 3, 2012 / ariellw2013 - Aug 6, 2012
|'really hard working'- world you come from and how your world shaped your aspirations
Undergraduatecherry_09 - Aug 2, 2012 / slithereen guar - Aug 6, 2012
|'Aunt Caly' - someone that influenced my life
UndergraduateTucayana - Aug 5, 2012 / Tucayana - Aug 6, 2012
|'a thriving in photography' - Essay for Art Insititute of California - Hollywood
4 - have lived all around the world and have been able to experience different places and take pictures. I think...
UndergraduateIamChristinaY - Aug 5, 2012 / houshina - Aug 6, 2012
|'obsession with Asian pop and Hispanic music' Stanford supplement letter to roommate
4 - kind of short don't you think? This is a fun time where you can share everything about yourself to...
Undergraduatekgwatsup - Jul 7, 2012 / sue2013kim - Aug 5, 2012
|'seed planted in my heart' - meaningful experience - Stanford Supplement
3 - The essay is a little bland. I think you need to explain more, add more detail. It just seems...
Undergraduatejizhao3 - Jul 31, 2012 / sue2013kim - Aug 5, 2012
|The Importance of Freddie Wong in my Life- UT Austin Personal Essay 1
NEW - Hey everyone this is my first time posting on this website and I was wondering if you could give...
Undergraduatejmike - Aug 5, 2012 / — -
|"Information Vs. Ideology" - Texas essay on an issue of importance to me
Undergraduatericaud - Jul 29, 2012 / ricaud - Aug 5, 2012
|'Roland and adults in general' - someone who has made an impact on your life
2 - Hello, Tiffany) I think your essay is quite OK, you can add more details(not necessary I think), unless there...
Undergraduateengent - Aug 4, 2012 / KhanhZ - Aug 5, 2012
|'good dramatic actions' - a significant experience personal essay
Undergraduateshidooh - Aug 5, 2012 / nadalhoang - Aug 5, 2012
|"NYU's global network" / "Love intrigues me" - applying for NYUAD
NEW - NEW YORK UNIVERSITY SUPPLEMENTS 8. SHORT-ANSWER ESSAYS Please respond to each of the following questions using a maximum...
Undergraduatehoushina - Aug 4, 2012 / — -
|'I can judge your ability' - Personal essay for common app: Influential person
2 - First off, it is math not "maths". Secondly, I honestly think you have too much quoting in this essay....
Undergraduateprathambs - Aug 3, 2012 / ariellw2013 - Aug 3, 2012
|'my work/activity' - Extra activities Proof read for common app
2 - Hii, great essay, however, do not use the work "being". I think you should go into more detail with...
Undergraduateprathambs - Aug 3, 2012 / ariellw2013 - Aug 3, 2012
|'working in the Movie industry' - Essay for the Art Institute.
UndergraduateKenny381 - Aug 2, 2012 / nadalhoang - Aug 2, 2012
|'my idea of studying in the United States' - Common Application: Three
4 - Nice essay. Although I would caution you that using a family member is overused in this topic. I would...
Undergraduatehobbsy95 - Aug 2, 2012 / sue2013kim - Aug 2, 2012
|'would not change anything' - upbringing, community and/or activities
3 - yea besides the person i am today comment it looks like a great personal statement, add some lentgh and...
Undergraduategoodwinatoe - Aug 2, 2012 / bowen74 - Aug 2, 2012
|My Invisible Heart - Define Impact - a clash
Undergraduatellucart - Jul 30, 2012 / llucart - Aug 2, 2012
|"Beth wake-up call" - UT A-Someone who made an impact/why this person is important
Undergraduatekiwilime - Jul 31, 2012 / KhanhZ - Aug 2, 2012
|My common app essay, titled "A horrible Briticism"
NEW - I am a international student looking to study at Gettysburg college and here is my essay for the common...
Undergraduatehobbsy95 - Aug 1, 2012 / — -
|My common app essay about a trip to Italy! 'Hidden in the mountains is a town'
2 - Hi :) Nice job. You have a beautiful story that is described well. I can't find any errors. You...
Undergraduateariaaa1108 - Aug 1, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Aug 1, 2012
|'something revolutionary' - Apply Texas Essay prompt C: Extra personal informati
Undergraduatericaud - Jul 30, 2012 / khch - Jul 31, 2012
|'Drinking teens' - UT Austin Admission Essay - Issue (Alcohol)
Undergraduatejusamlee - Jul 30, 2012 / KhanhZ - Jul 31, 2012
|'things I never thought I would learn' - Significant experiences or accomplishments
3 - From the 1st to the 2nd paragraph---Continue with the "change" topic, to keep the transition smooth. You say: ...
UndergraduateEnmaAi - Jul 29, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Jul 31, 2012
|'the circumstances' - Bump in the Road Essay for UCF
UndergraduateRGore - Jul 31, 2012 / KhanhZ - Jul 31, 2012
|'Jesus' APPLY TEXAS ESSAY: Write an essay about a person of importance in your life
UndergraduateGsan82 - Jul 27, 2012 / Gsan82 - Jul 31, 2012
|"Halmoni" - UT Essay: Someone who made an impact/why this person is important.
3 - Thanks, Jennifer and Former Ivy AO! I really appreciate it! I expected these errors, but did not know...
Undergraduaterpark94 - Jul 27, 2012 / rpark94 - Jul 31, 2012
|'Lonely people at restaurants' - Is my topic Essay B or Essay C?
Undergraduatebunnybunsss - Jul 29, 2012 / bunnybunsss - Jul 31, 2012
|Children - Common App Essay "Identity and Motivation"
UndergraduateLaura Tale - Jul 30, 2012 / Laura Tale - Jul 31, 2012
|'this wisdom and lesson' - Discuss a personal crucial relationship you have had
3 - Hi, Arthur) what is the exact question? Do you need to write about the lesson you have learned from...
Undergraduatedaredevi435 - Jul 30, 2012 / KhanhZ - Jul 30, 2012
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