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|The book all of Colgate's Class of 2021 should read
Undergraduatealexgzm - Jan 4, 2017 / alexgzm - Jan 5, 2017
|Can you proofread my Personal Statement and tell me how to improve it?
3 - Thank you for your feedback. @Holt There isn't any specific formula I should adhere to. But yes, I will...
Undergraduatezedix123 - Jan 5, 2017 / zedix123 - Jan 5, 2017
|For aliens, my life may seem like a dead plant.
12 - Khusel, I can't really respond to that in this thread. You see, this thread is dedicated to your other...
UndergraduateNuverte0452 - Jan 4, 2017 / Holt - Jan 5, 2017
|I need to go further in my efforts. Common application essay for Transfer 2017 Fall
Undergraduatezy19076 - Dec 31, 2016 / zy19076 - Jan 5, 2017
|Auto-presentation for the internet Platform "work away"
4 - Anna, this should be written in essay format. You are not writing a poem but rather an introduction to...
UndergraduateAskingAnna - Jan 4, 2017 / Holt - Jan 5, 2017
|"Describe a situation when you transformed your thoughts about a topic" (100 words or less)
2 - Nanda, in order to properly represent your response, you first have to present the issue concerned. In this case,...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Jan 4, 2017 / Holt - Jan 4, 2017
|"What Would It Mean To You To Call Yourself A part of our university?" (100 words or less)
2 - Nanda, rather than wasting your valuable word count with word fillers in your first sentence, use that to enhance...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Jan 4, 2017 / Holt - Jan 4, 2017
|The words "software", "program" always more important than a "game"
UndergraduateVijaychen - Jan 1, 2017 / Vijaychen - Jan 4, 2017
|Baseball and my grandfather matters to me.
3 - Antonio, this essay is confusing in content. Which is it that matters most to you? Your grandfather, the time...
Undergraduaternsnz18 - Jan 4, 2017 / Holt - Jan 4, 2017
|Aspiring to Help Others as the way to achieve success - Essay A
4 - Marissa, I am really not sure which prompt this essay is responding to. What do you mean by Essay...
Undergraduatemarissamuehl - Jan 3, 2017 / Holt - Jan 4, 2017
|TEDtalk conference contributed to my development on mathematics and other sciences
Undergraduaternsnz18 - Jan 3, 2017 / alexgzm - Jan 4, 2017
|New environment, educational system and fresh attitude. Why The New School? - International student
5 - Inmaculada, the way I read your essay, you come across as an aimless and disinterested person when it comes...
Undergraduateinmagab - Jan 3, 2017 / Holt - Jan 4, 2017
|-YALE- FOOTPRINT ON MY CHINESE HARDSHIPS
UndergraduateAlwaysL8 - Jan 2, 2017 / AlwaysL8 - Jan 3, 2017
|Questions about UBC Personal Profile - admission essay
Undergraduatenansuncy - Jan 3, 2017 / Holt - Jan 3, 2017
|A step to be greater and more meaningful than the previous one - my transition to maturity
4 - Yes, I believe that this essay is reflective enough to catch the interest of the reviewer. That is because...
Undergraduatemaryb - Jan 1, 2017 / Holt - Jan 3, 2017
|I believe that diligence and hard-working is vital.
5 - Hi desin, IMO there isn't a connection between the points listed in your essay. In addition, it is better...
Undergraduatedesinlim - Dec 24, 2016 / jiale1029 - Jan 3, 2017
|Why Marketing and Why CALS -- Cornell essay
2 - It would probably be better if you wrote about a bigger goal that might benefit the community, etc....
Undergraduateivyhopeful - Jan 2, 2017 / AlwaysL8 - Jan 2, 2017
|NERD, GEEK & DORK -TUFTS-
UndergraduateAlwaysL8 - Dec 31, 2016 / AlwaysL8 - Jan 2, 2017
|How do you improve the life of others? MIT essay
8 - @Holt Thank you very much! I already submitted this essay with my application to MIT, you helped me a...
Undergraduaternsnz18 - Dec 31, 2016 / rnsnz18 - Jan 2, 2017
|Computer screens give me energy: NYU Application
Undergraduatebb1707150 - Jan 2, 2017 / Holt - Jan 2, 2017
|Linguistics, cognitive science, and diversity - "right college environment" Cornell Supplement
2 - Kevin, in order to call yourself a polyglot, you need to know at least 7 distinct languages. You need...
Undergraduatekc1099 - Jan 2, 2017 / Holt - Jan 2, 2017
|My musical journey provided me an alternate world - common app essay about music
3 - Justin, you need to clarify why you lost the drive to play the guitar in the first place. You...
Undergraduateicyasher - Jan 2, 2017 / Holt - Jan 2, 2017
|Columbia is in one of the most happening and amazing cities in the world
3 - Saransh, before you work on revising the content of your essay, I would like to call your attention to...
Undergraduateinanutshell - Jan 2, 2017 / Holt - Jan 2, 2017
|Something thay didn't go according the plan
4 - You should develop the problem and the lesson learned in an equal manner. One cannot be more important than...
Undergraduaternsnz18 - Jan 2, 2017 / Holt - Jan 2, 2017
|High School Fair - Extracurricular Activity Supplement
7 - Kelly, this is pretty solid revision for your response. For the prompt that require 150 words maximum, this works...
Undergraduatekzhang7498 - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 2, 2017
|An unknown place, where I was born. Writing Cornell supplement essay.
5 - Khusel, you have written a very interesting personal statement. It is engaging and introduces you to the reviewer in...
UndergraduateNuverte0452 - Jan 1, 2017 / Holt - Jan 2, 2017
|The generally apathetic CMU supplement essasy
2 - Adam, your whole essay does not properly represent the required information based on the prompt requirements. You have decided...
UndergraduateLoneLee - Jan 2, 2017 / Holt - Jan 2, 2017
|Performing surgeries sparks my curiosity - exploring interests at the UPenn
2 - Shizumi, you can actually free up more of the word requirement to use in developing other aspects of your...
UndergraduateShizumi - Jan 1, 2017 / Holt - Jan 2, 2017
|Amazing student to faculty ratio and many other reasons - what great at Swarthmore
4 - Aime, here is the thing. Your essay says nothing but the common known information about Swarthmore. This essay will...
UndergraduateAmatis250 - Jan 1, 2017 / Holt - Jan 2, 2017
|From the clunky weirdo with ADHD to a dedicated student and a fulfilled musician.
8 - There is still the question of excess energy that your mother wished you would get rid of by playing...
UndergraduateQisiel - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 2, 2017
|It's a school like no other / the world of jazz. Common App for Lafayette College
3 - I agree with @Bennyoooo I felt like your first essay was more of a "describe your extra-curriculars" than...
UndergraduateNickNack - Jan 2, 2017 / kc1099 - Jan 2, 2017
|Dual identity of Asian-American (Princeton Supplement)
10 - @Holt Thank you so much for these suggestions, Holt, your advice has really helped me mold my essay into...
Undergraduatekc1099 - Dec 31, 2016 / kc1099 - Jan 2, 2017
|"Temporary" feelings. UVA "What is your favorite word and why?" Is it too silly and over dramatic?
Undergraduatejennaz - Jan 1, 2017 / jennaz - Jan 1, 2017
|I saw how Barnard transformed young women into leaders. Barnard Supplement: Why Barnard?
2 - @mtaban Hey! Wow its great that you found a college suited for you! I really loved your statement, very...
Undergraduatemtaban - Jan 1, 2017 / saphire98 - Jan 1, 2017
|My struggling... culture shock? multicultural? Personal importance thing
Undergraduatelisa21e - Jan 1, 2017 / lisa21e - Jan 1, 2017
|Common App Essay. Computer Crash and the Best Education
Undergraduatehermean - Jan 1, 2017 / hermean - Jan 1, 2017
|Cross country race - high hopes and no success. Common App Personal Essay
4 - @Shyboy112 "Nonetheless, I stood up as fast as I could because you have to finish what you started "....
UndergraduateShyboy112 - Dec 31, 2016 / hermean - Jan 1, 2017
|The car I was in flipped three times and hit a tree - common app essay prompt # 5
3 - Breiar, this is definitely not a transition to adulthood story. I do not know what ever made you think...
UndergraduateBreg123 - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|Five days which taught me a lot. Cornell ILR program-- Why Cornell??
2 - Katie, this particular presentation is preventing you from properly developing the discussion as to how Cornell ILR will help...
Undergraduatescgoalie00 - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|Pitzer, what's next? College Supplemental - Pitzer's 5 Core Values
3 - Breonna, you can free up word count to further develop your concluding statement if you totally eliminate the current...
Undergraduatebosuegbu - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|"Thud!" My last throw. COMMON APP Personal Statement
3 - Ivan, what exactly are the instructions for this personal statement? I am not sure what the relevance of the...
Undergraduateliujho - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|Dualities permeate my existence. Common App Promp #1-College Essay
3 - Thu, remove the paragraph that discusses religion. Since you are trying to get into a university in the United...
Undergraduatethukim - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|An essay that shows why I am going to be a great participant for the UGRAD scholarship
4 - Ahmed, you make mention of volunteering at organizations that helped you to participate in various programs related to cultural...
Undergraduateahmed hawila - Dec 30, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|This tragic moment granted something inside of me - background statement
5 - Seble, the essay doesn't make any sense. It is not really a background essay, nor is it an ideology...
Undergraduateseble - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|Barnard supplement- possibly too obscure; questionable structure? too idolizing?
Undergraduateagoldie - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|Barnard Supplements - my need to be in an empowering, tight knit community of ambitious women
3 - Anna, this essay sounds more like an outline draft than an actual response to the prompt. You must refrain...
Undergraduateagoldie - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|A plethora of opportunities - NYU SUPPLEMENTAL ESSAY (WHY NYU?)
4 - Kamaljot, do your best to avoid the most common answers regarding why you would choose to study at NYU....
Undergraduatekkaur199 - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|'a very fitting school academically and socially for me' - Georgia Tech Supplemental Essay
3 - Jason, I believe that your essay is highly informative in terms of what attracts you to the university. The...
UndergraduateExtraRicePlz - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|Operation: Duke Supplementary Essay For Trinity College of Arts & Sciences!
10 - Emily, you can totally remove the reference to Operation in the essay. Since you only have 150 words to...
Undergraduateemilyle206 - Dec 31, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|Rice Personal Perspective Essay- My dad's alcoholism
5 - Devin, the introduction to the day that you have int he first paragraph is totally unnecessary. That is because...
UndergraduateDevnater - Jan 1, 2017 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|Waterloo AIF- My goals and interest and my reason for choosing Waterloo
3 - @Hthmn Thanks for the advice. In my answer to the first question I have talked about the university with...
UndergraduateChibi1 - Dec 31, 2016 / Chibi1 - Jan 1, 2017
|Harvard Supplemental - branching out from my academic comfortable zone
2 - Breonna, don't worry about the structure. The essay has a solid foundation that clearly shows a sense of logic...
Undergraduatebosuegbu - Jan 1, 2017 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
|Yale's short supplements: econ, ethics and politics; financial crisis Yale course
3 - i agree with the above comment, you could be much more concise about your father's situation to have room...
UndergraduateTVLAERE - Jan 1, 2017 / bosuegbu - Jan 1, 2017
|Uniting people to gather their opinion about biochemistry
3 - @hartmanj684 Thank you! You make great points! I see the direction I want to go for this essay now,...
UndergraduateShizumi - Jan 1, 2017 / Shizumi - Jan 1, 2017
|An incident that happened two months back. LESSONS FROM FAILURE (COMM APP)
7 - @Holt Thank you very much for your review and I will take of the company story from the essay....
Undergraduatebarry - Dec 30, 2016 / barry - Dec 31, 2016
|BUSINESS STRATEGIES AND TRADITIONS. College search - UPenn supplement essay
Undergraduatealexgzm - Dec 29, 2016 / alexgzm - Dec 31, 2016
|Beethoven's Opus 109 - Stanford Essay - Intellectual Development
9 - Donut, I believe that you need just one more paragraph to complete this essay. The concluding statement must reflect...
Undergraduatedigestadonut - Dec 29, 2016 / Holt - Dec 31, 2016
|Body and mind synchronized through the dance - Undergraduate supplemental essay
Undergraduatekaleiv - Dec 30, 2016 / Holt - Dec 31, 2016
|Brown Supplements: Why studies; places you've lived; community you've been a part of
2 - @agoldie I really liked your first essay, it shows you have a passion for literature, the second one I...
Undergraduateagoldie - Dec 31, 2016 / rnsnz18 - Dec 31, 2016
|"The Fainter" - Undergrad supplemental essay about a challenge
3 - Nilen, when you talk about the Nationals. Please specify what nationals you are talking about because the reader may...
Undergraduatenilen - Dec 30, 2016 / Holt - Dec 31, 2016
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