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|Common App Short Answer- Guitar and Exposure to Jazz in Music Club
2 - I really like it! You explain everything in full details, well done! I wouldn't add or suppress anything....
UndergraduateBluesPresidente - Aug 20, 2012 / db2730 - Aug 20, 2012
|'human beings love to talk' - UMD Supplement Self-Expression Essay 300 words
2 - I think you definitely accomplished what you set out to do: express importance of free speech and tie it...
UndergraduateJonessayslayer - Aug 19, 2012 / BluesPresidente - Aug 20, 2012
|'what I've done in my high school time" - Something about yourself... Penn State
9 - Hi @dumi and everyone else, I've been super busy lately so I didnt have time to go to essayforum....
Undergraduatenhuvuong - Jun 17, 2012 / nhuvuong - Aug 19, 2012
|Hedy Lamarr, the Actress and Inventor (Write about a person who influences you)
UndergraduateHimekoY - Aug 13, 2012 / HimekoY - Aug 19, 2012
|'Fried Chicken' - Significant Events That Have Defined You
3 - Thanks Jennifer. :D I followed your suggestions before I submitted my paper. I hope they will be. My future...
Undergraduateena_anda - Aug 6, 2012 / ena_anda - Aug 19, 2012
|"FIRE!" - QB ESSAY
UndergraduateMarkiaSmith - Aug 17, 2012 / minam - Aug 18, 2012
|"Satisfy" -----describe the world you came from
NEW - Prompt #1 (freshman applicants) Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school -...
UndergraduateginaJ - Aug 18, 2012 / — -
|'AP Chemistry Class' - Significant Person Influence - Common App Essay
2 - As I walked down the halls of Benjamin N. Cardozo High School during my junior year, I was anticipating...
Undergraduateazndemon0627 - Aug 17, 2012 / mohammad007 - Aug 18, 2012
|Columbia Common App- Naguib Mahfouz
Undergraduaterehabaw - Aug 17, 2012 / ah_zafari - Aug 17, 2012
|the "Barnardian" title - Barnard Transfer Essay
3 - Hello Jessica, There are several major issues with this draft. It is almost as though you have written...
UndergraduateChiaroscuro_jr - Aug 14, 2012 / admission2012 - Aug 16, 2012
|'the mascot of Olin was a phoenix' - Supplement- Is Olin a good fit for you? WHY?
3 - This is a great essay! A few comments: -You might want to spell out NIST -Replace hyphens with...
UndergraduateJonessayslayer - Aug 16, 2012 / tracked89 - Aug 16, 2012
|Common App extracurricular: Volunteering at a Hospice
4 - Thanks for the edits! I completely agree with Kevin and I tried to revamp my essay. Here is a...
Undergraduatetracked89 - Aug 16, 2012 / tracked89 - Aug 16, 2012
|'multiple events serving my community' - FSU admission essay 2012
UndergraduateJazmine21 - Aug 16, 2012 / Jazmine21 - Aug 16, 2012
|'Having a dream of becoming a doctor' - essay I want to become a...
Undergraduatestephenie - Aug 16, 2012 / — -
|My step-dads influence made me who i am- UF prompt feedback
UndergraduateAvera214 - Aug 16, 2012 / Jonessayslayer - Aug 16, 2012
|'Psychologist, Criminal Investigator or Lawyer' - Bio Essay Admission
UndergraduateTaylorGang013 - Aug 16, 2012 / Jonessayslayer - Aug 16, 2012
|HMC FAST Essay--What do I hope to gain from my college experience?
2 - I am expecting college to be a positive experience for me that will help shape me and allow me...
UndergraduateBirdiee - Aug 12, 2012 / EF_Susan - Aug 16, 2012
|'the Greek goddess Nike' - First University Admission Essay EVER
UndergraduateTrishishness - Aug 11, 2012 / EF_Susan - Aug 16, 2012
|'my relationship to my brother' - Essay about someone who impacted your life.
2 - Good start. I would suggest trying to dumb this down a little bit and breaking up your thoughts into...
UndergraduateXeltar - Aug 16, 2012 / skeays - Aug 16, 2012
|'still growing and learning' - ACET application essay
2 - First of all, though I doubt most people reading your essay would know, Nelson Mandela never said that quote...
UndergraduateAuRyou - Aug 11, 2012 / Xeltar - Aug 16, 2012
|'there are many more mountains to climb' - University of washington Personal Essay
2 - ^Reads like a forced quote, and everything that proceeds it is rather cliched for my liking. Basically, a dull...
Undergraduatemrodz032 - Aug 8, 2012 / Liebe - Aug 16, 2012
|'more in-depth learning process' - Optional Harvard Essay
2 - I had trouble understanding the first five sentences of your essay. Not because of the quality of English, but...
Undergraduatecollege123 - Aug 14, 2012 / Liebe - Aug 16, 2012
|'Playing Table Tennis' - Significant Experience/accomplishments
3 - Hello Mariel, Is this essay for University Admissions? If so, you need to shift focus. As it stands...
Undergraduatetazmania123 - Aug 15, 2012 / admission2012 - Aug 16, 2012
|'civilization indulges in its past glories' - UChiago's essay choice No1
2 - Hello Chen After reading just the first few sentences of your essay I can assure you that the...
Undergraduateivorchen - Aug 16, 2012 / admission2012 - Aug 16, 2012
|'Dreams can come true' - The Fashion Institute of Design
Undergraduatemedelesteph - Aug 16, 2012 / — -
|'a small, close-nit suburb' - Pitt Supplemental Essay
2 - Rather than say "basic tasks", I would say something pertaining to the fact that they were mundane, but vital....
UndergraduateAnonymous001 - Aug 14, 2012 / skeays - Aug 15, 2012
|"M Last Strings" - Common app essay #1
12 - Nice work on using imagery. The transition is not quite well, as I had been expecting. But all in...
Undergraduateedladue - Aug 6, 2012 / Finn Beezus - Aug 15, 2012
|'the idea of serving my country' - United States Naval Academy essay
2 - For years the idea of serving my country has appealed greatly to me. This is partially due to spending...
Undergraduatecbraunstein - Aug 7, 2012 / Anonymous001 - Aug 14, 2012
|'to make him happy' - my environment and influences, UC personal statement
Undergraduateirenexpark - Aug 14, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Aug 14, 2012
|DRAMATIC WRITING/FILM AND TELEVISION STATEMENT OF PURPOSE FOR SCAD.
Undergraduateaperkins95 - Aug 14, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Aug 14, 2012
|'strength buried deep inside me' - Howard University Transfer Admissions
NEW - HI, Im posting because as of right now I am attending Valencia College to start my freshman year over...
Undergraduateamayes24261 - Aug 14, 2012 / — -
|'the struggles my family faced' - My Ethical dilemma
Undergraduatemsrunnergrl - Jul 29, 2012 / msrunnergrl - Aug 14, 2012
|'Christine's poison' - Common App Personal Essay
Undergraduatemjd2195 - Aug 14, 2012 / mjd2195 - Aug 14, 2012
|'love for fixing things' Common App experience, risk, achievement
UndergraduateFaraz123 - Aug 13, 2012 / Faraz123 - Aug 14, 2012
|'Playing softball' - CommonApp - Short Answer Essay on Extracurricular
3 - When I grow older and recall fond memories of growing up, I'll always remember the days I spent covered...
UndergraduateAshieeNicole - Aug 14, 2012 / tallship - Aug 14, 2012
|'killing two birds...' - How I overcame financial difficulty over my life
Undergraduatedobalilago - Aug 13, 2012 / peaceyall - Aug 14, 2012
|'it was a mistake' / 'life is what you make of it' - UCF-Two College Admission Essays
NEW - Both of my essays are about 800 words combined. I have to get rid of about 350 words. Please...
UndergraduateKimT - Aug 14, 2012 / — -
|'Have not quit playing the piano' - Common App Personal Essay - Music
NEW - I was 10 years old, and I could have quit piano without a second thought. I had first started...
Undergraduatetallship - Aug 14, 2012 / — -
|(ADMU Admissions) Betrayal a positive or negative effect. (Tentative)
NEW - Essay Question: Has there been any significant experience that changed the way you live? This essay is quite...
UndergraduateRemotoz37 - Aug 14, 2012 / — -
|'tried my hardest at everything' UT narrative about meaningful event
UndergraduateChrisOosty1 - Aug 13, 2012 / KhanhZ - Aug 14, 2012
|'not happy without photography' - Art Institute of Dallas
2 - Hi Kelly, I have a few suggestions for you to expand your essay: ''However, convincing myself that...
Undergraduatethisiskellyj - Aug 11, 2012 / April April - Aug 14, 2012
|'The Lord Jesus Christ is my refuge' SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES or ACCOMPLISHMENTS
2 - Greetings, Lyrie) Is this essay is for a religiously affiliated college? For now your essay lacks a unique...
UndergraduateMaRiiAa6422 - Aug 13, 2012 / KhanhZ - Aug 14, 2012
|"Trek TRUST" A reporter is writing an article about you after Olin College-Supplement
2 - Joshua Eisdorfer, now a household name, struck the world with thunder after graduating from Olin College - a college...
Undergraduatecanigetinhere - Aug 13, 2012 / Anonymous001 - Aug 13, 2012
|'join clubs, study abroad, and do research' - Lehigh University Supplement
UndergraduateAnonymous001 - Aug 13, 2012 / Anonymous001 - Aug 13, 2012
|A Seedinlig's Esfuerzo (Endeavor) College Essay
Undergraduatechanty7 - Aug 13, 2012 / mrogerscarruolo - Aug 13, 2012
|My passion for math and analytical abilities -UC prompt #1
2 - "5 minutes remaining." As the proctor announced the remaining time, I flipped to the blank questions on my test....
Undergraduate1mathboy1 - Aug 13, 2012 / HimekoY - Aug 13, 2012
|'Reading Program by Involving Parents' - Leadership Activity Essay
UndergraduateAdin - Aug 8, 2012 / Adin - Aug 13, 2012
|'Heroes and Cool Kids' - College Essay - Event that shaped/changed life
NEW - I was at my sister's basketball game and a twelve year old girl from across the gym had smiled...
Undergraduateginabeeee - Aug 13, 2012 / — -
|'loving to run' - Common Application - Write about whatever you want
Undergraduateginabeeee - Aug 13, 2012 / — -
|'learning experience' - the greatest benefit(s) of a diverse educational community?
2 - This is pretty good, but I get the feeling that any student could have written this as a personal...
Undergraduatetokiwong - Aug 10, 2012 / topstardog - Aug 13, 2012
|'the independence and confidence' - family history, culture, or environment and me
4 - No, thanks Long. I took the IELTS exam about 3 moths ago and other generous people, like you,...
Undergraduateariellw2013 - Aug 8, 2012 / ah_zafari - Aug 13, 2012
|'Playing Piano to help others' - Common Application Short Answer
2 - HI, Morgan) In my opinion, it's would be more interesting to describe one occasion/event( something like that) tied with...
Undergraduatemorgana131 - Aug 12, 2012 / KhanhZ - Aug 13, 2012
|Extracurricular Activity jiu-jitsu- essay
5 - That's a unique activity you got there. Itwill be really helpful on your resume and stuff also....
Undergraduatecanigetinhere - Aug 10, 2012 / dobalilago - Aug 12, 2012
|'talent in the field' - the world I was surrounded and how it shaped your dream
Undergraduatedobalilago - Aug 11, 2012 / dobalilago - Aug 12, 2012
|"Representative Powers" - UF application essay
NEW - This is my essay for the UF application, was wondering if somebody could please give me input on anything...
Undergraduatemaggers777 - Aug 12, 2012 / — -
|U of Mich Supplement Community Essay "Running Community"
4 - Yeah it's not going to be very easy, sometimes though there is so much you can write about! But,...
UndergraduateElizabethHay - Aug 5, 2012 / Bobino23 - Aug 11, 2012
|'Poverty and the face of that man' - Common App essay question
UndergraduateBobino23 - Jul 28, 2012 / Bobino23 - Aug 11, 2012
|'fascination of people' - Reason for applying to Empire State College
Undergraduatecduy252 - Aug 10, 2012 / cduy252 - Aug 11, 2012
|Summer Volunteering Job, Amelia - Common App Essay Topic #1
3 - Thanks for the response! Any critiques? I have been told I need to cut my last commentary part down...
Undergraduatepcm1106 - Aug 10, 2012 / pcm1106 - Aug 11, 2012
|'so special and welcoming' - Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
Undergraduatesoccerislife - Aug 10, 2012 / PBP - Aug 10, 2012
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