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|'finish my studies to help my parents' - WHY DO I DESERVE TO BE A SCHOLAR?
2 - Try to write more about your qualities. Give some real reasons why you think that you would be a...
Undergraduateharuhi fuu - Apr 14, 2012 / giorgio186 - Apr 14, 2012
|'a better Christian person' an obstacle you have faced & overcome and the lessons
Undergraduatealea - Apr 13, 2012 / sue singh - Apr 14, 2012
|'people you meet impact you' - 500 word Personal essay
2 - Good thoughts but your thoughts need a little bit of reorganizing. Good luck in your future endeavors....
UndergraduateBeautifulchaos - Apr 9, 2012 / alea - Apr 13, 2012
|'Essay about Unicorns; Greed still rules the human race' - U of M Honors
Undergraduateesha33 - Mar 25, 2012 / alea - Apr 13, 2012
|What makes YOU unique? point to specific qualities, hobbies, interests, talents..
9 - Thank you Rachapong, the essay question is : "What makes YOU unique? Please point to specific qualities, hobbies,...
Undergraduatejawad noah - Mar 29, 2012 / study abroad - Apr 13, 2012
|'a software specialist' - Why did I choose my university and Goal of my study
3 - The program's curriculum is outstanding, as it consists of a wide range of courses to choose from. Furthermore,Through...
Undergraduateoldapachee - Mar 27, 2012 / EF_Susan - Apr 12, 2012
|'broken computer' statement: a life story and how it helped shape my character
5 - So I should say, blue screen of death and then specifiy that the black screen simply is the PC...
Undergraduatearsenal10 - Apr 11, 2012 / arsenal10 - Apr 12, 2012
|UC Davis wait list essay - Veterinary and research pursuits
Undergraduatekjzee0106 - Apr 11, 2012 / kjzee0106 - Apr 12, 2012
|'I received the unfortunate news' admission essay explaining prior academic dismissal
6 - Thanks everyone for the help, I truly appreciate it... Im having trouble ending it because the other admission essays...
Undergraduatechicc032 - Apr 11, 2012 / chicc032 - Apr 12, 2012
|'Wildlife around me' - Transfer Essay for Purdue University
2 - Ever since childhood, I have always been fascinated about the world around me, most especially wildlife. My earliest memories...
Undergraduatenikolas13 - Apr 12, 2012 / EF_Susan - Apr 12, 2012
|'I saw many leaders' - Global Ugrad exchange program
NEW - Please describe your idea of good leadership. Who do you think is a good leader, and why? What is...
Undergraduatefrank1992 - Apr 12, 2012 / — -
|'Radiography and passion to help others' - admissions essay
3 - Thank you Susan for your response. Here is my finished essay. I would appreciate any feedback ;-) ...
Undergraduateharmony - Apr 10, 2012 / harmony - Apr 11, 2012
|'getting an education is very important' - Essay to attend a Summer program
Undergraduatesunflower123 - Apr 5, 2012 / arsenal10 - Apr 11, 2012
|'engaged in my family company' - extracurricular activities or work experience
8 - Hi sathiprakash, In this line..."During my stay at the company, I worked as a computer operator. I usually...
Undergraduatesathiprakash - Mar 7, 2012 / peterc - Apr 11, 2012
|'improving your knowledge and soul' - a significant experience, achievement
UndergraduateFuturedentist7 - Apr 8, 2012 / Futuredentist7 - Apr 9, 2012
|"Problems can become opportunities" - essay
4 - Jennyflower81 Nice, thanks i will correct them)) avenged7fold there should some correction as u mentioned, what do u...
Undergraduatealisher_93 - Apr 8, 2012 / alisher_93 - Apr 9, 2012
|'to continue promoting healthy nutrition' - Waitlist Response to UPenn
Undergraduatesammyd5 - Apr 5, 2012 / bansmart06 - Apr 6, 2012
|PS/ never imagined that I will become a teacher; Choice of teaching career
UndergraduateJojo8055 - Apr 4, 2012 / Jojo8055 - Apr 5, 2012
|from drug addiction to successful student- common app transfer essay
5 - Susan, music to my ears you are too kind. I appreciate your positive feedback and hope the addmissions...
Undergraduatesmostofi12 - Apr 1, 2012 / smostofi12 - Apr 5, 2012
|Why online education? undergraduate admission paragraph statement.
9 - Hi kimuratakuya, thank you very much for ur suggestions, i appretiate it, please u dont have to apologize...
Undergraduatelkformtch - Mar 29, 2012 / lkformtch - Apr 5, 2012
|'Bad grades, ashamed' an incident which led you to challenge yourself academically
5 - Hi, thank you all, thank you EF_Susan, for correcting my essay, i'll need ur suggestions for some other...
Undergraduatelkformtch - Mar 29, 2012 / meandstudying - Apr 5, 2012
|'medical care for the underprivileged' - UC Davis
Undergraduatexx0xkrissi - Apr 3, 2012 / bansmart06 - Apr 5, 2012
|PERSONAL STATEMENT - "Students demonstrating against the war, people of color..
4 - Dear Susan, Thank you so very much for your critiques and responses. As an undergraduate, I have researched...
Undergraduatealdinette - Mar 29, 2012 / aldinette - Apr 4, 2012
|'My sailing dream' - A statement of ambitions and life purpose
3 - I'd like to offer some suggestions as well. I think a stronger introductory statement would help this project, for...
Undergraduatejgordony - Apr 2, 2012 / EF_Susan - Apr 4, 2012
|My brother is my only other sibling & had a signiﬁcant inﬂuence on me
2 - My brother is my only other sibling. He has no college degree, nor HAS HE even finished all of...
Undergraduatedannyyboyy07 - Apr 4, 2012 / EF_Susan - Apr 4, 2012
|Phasmophobia essay for undergraduate studies in the USA
2 - Ghosts- the very thought of them irks IRRITATES me. Not even knowing whether they exist or not, furthermore ...
Undergraduateqhycliss - Apr 3, 2012 / EF_Susan - Apr 3, 2012
|'To Have an Aspiration' - TRANSFER ESSAY
2 - " What serves as your purpose for studying at a university?" As I evaluate how I would approach this...
Undergraduatejennieme - Mar 31, 2012 / EF_Susan - Apr 3, 2012
|(object-oriented programming, databases, web technologies) Motivation essay
2 - After finishing school, it is quite plain particularlycommon for everybodystudents to seekundertakeunder graduate studyeducation . Students have many...
Undergraduatetroktosha - Apr 3, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Apr 3, 2012
|Not everyone in life deserves a second chance, georgetown personal statement
Undergraduatesmostofi12 - Apr 1, 2012 / menukagrg - Apr 2, 2012
|Life experiences trigger PASSION for CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY. UIC essay.
3 - Thank you so much with your corrections! I appreciate it greatly! There is no word limit and the...
Undergraduatelak23 - Apr 1, 2012 / lak23 - Apr 2, 2012
|"Blue Eyes"- NYU Tisch Dramatic Essay
Undergraduatelouieylove - Mar 25, 2012 / Said Alwaili - Apr 1, 2012
|'I took active steps' - personal statement for Ultrasound Program
UndergraduateIsabelle - Mar 31, 2012 / lak23 - Apr 1, 2012
|'My eyes / Film and ASL / Music and pictures' - NYU supplement
5 - The documentary would probably help. Thank you for your encouraging words, and no, i'm not a crazy, lol. ...
Undergraduatelouieylove - Apr 1, 2012 / louieylove - Apr 1, 2012
|NYU Supp ('Divorce') / Common app ('Made to be a doctor')
12 - Dear Geraldine, I wanted to share my essay with you. It may help you think about how to better...
UndergraduateUnGato - Mar 28, 2012 / chalumeau - Apr 1, 2012
|Australia Bound- Study Abroad Essay
4 - Not only is traveling back to Australia a dream for my, but will give me another perspective in the...
Undergraduate15_dreams - Mar 16, 2012 / jaijagadeesh - Apr 1, 2012
|'artists, scholars, scientists, and activists' - Why Sarah Lawrence College?
Undergraduatesleepyhead - Mar 29, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 31, 2012
|SMU admission - outstanding community service . 300 words
7 - I think that "important" and "meaningful" are interchangeable for this purpose. There are still some errors in the...
Undergraduatetoothbrush1999 - Mar 24, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 29, 2012
|'social science has greatly influenced me' - on economics for the nus
2 - In spite ---This is 2 words.--- of not having economics as a subject in school, this social science has...
Undergraduaterohan nagpal - Mar 26, 2012 / EF_Susan - Mar 29, 2012
|'caught a soccer ball for the first time' - Why Transferring/Personal Statement
Undergraduateyahooseltzer - Mar 27, 2012 / mnsstudbewerb - Mar 29, 2012
|'Computer related fields of study' - Motivational essay for university
2 - Computer related fields of study have profound significance and application. That's why I long to pursue degrees in information...
UndergraduateTJack - Mar 28, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Mar 28, 2012
|'regional Math Olympics' - evaluate experience
NEW - Experiences are of a great value in one's life as they provide individuals with practical knowledge that could match...
UndergraduateSaidakhror - Mar 27, 2012 / — -
|An Environmental Autobiography- Environment in my current life
NEW - ( please correct my mistakes, thank you so much ) -How the physical environment impacts you as a person...
UndergraduateAndrea Bong - Mar 27, 2012 / — -
|'Born and raised in the U.A.E' - me, myself and i english course
Undergraduatefaridcool - Mar 27, 2012 / sharadarige - Mar 27, 2012
|'the culture and diversity that surrounds our lives' - CMU Precollege Diversity Essay
3 - Honestly I think this is wonderful and I went over it with a fine-tooth comb. You might consider adding...
Undergraduatecervidae - Mar 11, 2012 / EF_Susan - Mar 26, 2012
|SMU Application Essay on achievements and contributions
Undergraduatesidmarur - Mar 20, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 26, 2012
|'resilience and determination from NY' -Transfer Personal Statement Temple University
2 - Let me know if my feedback is helpful. I corrected some grammatical errors in the first few paragaphs. Overall,...
UndergraduateBrittB - Mar 25, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 25, 2012
|My essay about moving to america for PSEO
NEW - Please help me edit and give some feedback? Please & thanks! My family members crying and hugging me...
Undergraduatexmyrax - Mar 25, 2012 / — -
|'uncommon facts about animals' - U of C your extracurricular activities....
2 - As a volunteer, I was able to stepwork behind the scenes and interruptobtain knowledge directly from the zoo keepers....
Undergraduatecupcake0923 - Mar 25, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Mar 25, 2012
|'only pupils of similar interests should be given admissions in schools?' -essay
3 - thanks sharadarige, i will work on the point you have mentioned, There are different perspective regarding how pupils...
Undergraduateaabualia - Mar 25, 2012 / aabualia - Mar 25, 2012
|'My family is my motivation' - help with st johns
2 - Enjoyed reading your essay. If you use your family as your motivation, then add ways that you have helped...
UndergraduateMichele1248 - Mar 24, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 25, 2012
|Yale-NUS Admission Essay on Personal Concerns
4 - Issues of personal concern: - The ash borer has detroyed most of the ash trees on your property and...
Undergraduatefunkyb - Mar 24, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 25, 2012
|'The question WHY' - UIC personal statement
2 - It's a good start, but if you have more space to fill, definitely write more.. The anecdote concluding with...
Undergraduatekrystal_19 - Mar 21, 2012 / viviann16 - Mar 24, 2012
|'pleasing to the eye and interesting to the viewer' - graphic design admission
3 - I don't want to check the grammar just yet... Essay Structure (by paragraph): P1) How do you believe...
Undergraduatedens2012 - Mar 22, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 24, 2012
|'Growing up in Nigeria' - MD professional goal esay
Undergraduatembabatop - Mar 23, 2012 / TanvirBD - Mar 24, 2012
|"Most interesting science topic?", etc. - Summer Science Program Admissions Essay
2 - I'm so sorry that you didn't get any responses prior to the submission deadline of this admissions essay. :(...
Undergraduatecalvin46689 - Feb 22, 2012 / AMB2064864 - Mar 24, 2012
|"I am Vietnamese" - My UWC admission essay
16 - I think all of the suggestions here are wonderful. As far as the essay requirements I feel that you...
Undergraduatetru - Mar 18, 2012 / AMB2064864 - Mar 24, 2012
|'I pay close attention to the nature' - Transfer- introduce yourself to Penn
6 - Oh sorry , didn't pay attention :/ Trust me,don't quit you're damn helpful ! And since we're on the...
Undergraduateanstjswls - Mar 7, 2012 / sidmarur - Mar 23, 2012
|'Language piqued my interest ' - Personal Satement. Linguistics.
26 - Chalumeau- I added the line later but i think it was because i panicked. I didn't feel as if...
Undergraduatemenukagrg - Mar 11, 2012 / menukagrg - Mar 23, 2012
|'distant education' - applying for a degree at university
4 - An essay about what makes me unique : Please give me your thoughts , thanks autodidact, meticulous ,and...
Undergraduatemeandstudying - Mar 22, 2012 / meandstudying - Mar 23, 2012
|'reasons for transferring are almost entirely academic' - scientific journey transfer
2 - During my last year in high school, the medical university of my city, the only one as a matter...
UndergraduateNaira Raquel - Mar 16, 2012 / EF_Susan - Mar 21, 2012
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