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|PERSONAL STATEMENT - "Students demonstrating against the war, people of color..
4 - Dear Susan, Thank you so very much for your critiques and responses. As an undergraduate, I have researched...
Undergraduatealdinette - Mar 29, 2012 / aldinette - Apr 4, 2012
|'My sailing dream' - A statement of ambitions and life purpose
3 - I'd like to offer some suggestions as well. I think a stronger introductory statement would help this project, for...
Undergraduatejgordony - Apr 2, 2012 / EF_Susan - Apr 4, 2012
|My brother is my only other sibling & had a signiﬁcant inﬂuence on me
2 - My brother is my only other sibling. He has no college degree, nor HAS HE even finished all of...
Undergraduatedannyyboyy07 - Apr 4, 2012 / EF_Susan - Apr 4, 2012
|Phasmophobia essay for undergraduate studies in the USA
2 - Ghosts- the very thought of them irks IRRITATES me. Not even knowing whether they exist or not, furthermore ...
Undergraduateqhycliss - Apr 3, 2012 / EF_Susan - Apr 3, 2012
|'To Have an Aspiration' - TRANSFER ESSAY
2 - " What serves as your purpose for studying at a university?" As I evaluate how I would approach this...
Undergraduatejennieme - Mar 31, 2012 / EF_Susan - Apr 3, 2012
|(object-oriented programming, databases, web technologies) Motivation essay
2 - After finishing school, it is quite plain particularlycommon for everybodystudents to seekundertakeunder graduate studyeducation . Students have many...
Undergraduatetroktosha - Apr 3, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Apr 3, 2012
|Not everyone in life deserves a second chance, georgetown personal statement
Undergraduatesmostofi12 - Apr 1, 2012 / menukagrg - Apr 2, 2012
|Life experiences trigger PASSION for CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY. UIC essay.
3 - Thank you so much with your corrections! I appreciate it greatly! There is no word limit and the...
Undergraduatelak23 - Apr 1, 2012 / lak23 - Apr 2, 2012
|"Blue Eyes"- NYU Tisch Dramatic Essay
Undergraduatelouieylove - Mar 25, 2012 / Said Alwaili - Apr 1, 2012
|'I took active steps' - personal statement for Ultrasound Program
UndergraduateIsabelle - Mar 31, 2012 / lak23 - Apr 1, 2012
|'My eyes / Film and ASL / Music and pictures' - NYU supplement
5 - The documentary would probably help. Thank you for your encouraging words, and no, i'm not a crazy, lol. ...
Undergraduatelouieylove - Apr 1, 2012 / louieylove - Apr 1, 2012
|NYU Supp ('Divorce') / Common app ('Made to be a doctor')
12 - Dear Geraldine, I wanted to share my essay with you. It may help you think about how to better...
UndergraduateUnGato - Mar 28, 2012 / chalumeau - Apr 1, 2012
|Australia Bound- Study Abroad Essay
4 - Not only is traveling back to Australia a dream for my, but will give me another perspective in the...
Undergraduate15_dreams - Mar 16, 2012 / jaijagadeesh - Apr 1, 2012
|'artists, scholars, scientists, and activists' - Why Sarah Lawrence College?
Undergraduatesleepyhead - Mar 29, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 31, 2012
|SMU admission - outstanding community service . 300 words
7 - I think that "important" and "meaningful" are interchangeable for this purpose. There are still some errors in the...
Undergraduatetoothbrush1999 - Mar 24, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 29, 2012
|'social science has greatly influenced me' - on economics for the nus
2 - In spite ---This is 2 words.--- of not having economics as a subject in school, this social science has...
Undergraduaterohan nagpal - Mar 26, 2012 / EF_Susan - Mar 29, 2012
|'caught a soccer ball for the first time' - Why Transferring/Personal Statement
Undergraduateyahooseltzer - Mar 27, 2012 / mnsstudbewerb - Mar 29, 2012
|'Computer related fields of study' - Motivational essay for university
2 - Computer related fields of study have profound significance and application. That's why I long to pursue degrees in information...
UndergraduateTJack - Mar 28, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Mar 28, 2012
|'regional Math Olympics' - evaluate experience
NEW - Experiences are of a great value in one's life as they provide individuals with practical knowledge that could match...
UndergraduateSaidakhror - Mar 27, 2012 / — -
|An Environmental Autobiography- Environment in my current life
NEW - ( please correct my mistakes, thank you so much ) -How the physical environment impacts you as a person...
UndergraduateAndrea Bong - Mar 27, 2012 / — -
|'Born and raised in the U.A.E' - me, myself and i english course
Undergraduatefaridcool - Mar 27, 2012 / sharadarige - Mar 27, 2012
|'the culture and diversity that surrounds our lives' - CMU Precollege Diversity Essay
3 - Honestly I think this is wonderful and I went over it with a fine-tooth comb. You might consider adding...
Undergraduatecervidae - Mar 11, 2012 / EF_Susan - Mar 26, 2012
|SMU Application Essay on achievements and contributions
Undergraduatesidmarur - Mar 20, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 26, 2012
|'resilience and determination from NY' -Transfer Personal Statement Temple University
2 - Let me know if my feedback is helpful. I corrected some grammatical errors in the first few paragaphs. Overall,...
UndergraduateBrittB - Mar 25, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 25, 2012
|My essay about moving to america for PSEO
NEW - Please help me edit and give some feedback? Please & thanks! My family members crying and hugging me...
Undergraduatexmyrax - Mar 25, 2012 / — -
|'uncommon facts about animals' - U of C your extracurricular activities....
2 - As a volunteer, I was able to stepwork behind the scenes and interruptobtain knowledge directly from the zoo keepers....
Undergraduatecupcake0923 - Mar 25, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Mar 25, 2012
|'only pupils of similar interests should be given admissions in schools?' -essay
3 - thanks sharadarige, i will work on the point you have mentioned, There are different perspective regarding how pupils...
Undergraduateaabualia - Mar 25, 2012 / aabualia - Mar 25, 2012
|'My family is my motivation' - help with st johns
2 - Enjoyed reading your essay. If you use your family as your motivation, then add ways that you have helped...
UndergraduateMichele1248 - Mar 24, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 25, 2012
|Yale-NUS Admission Essay on Personal Concerns
4 - Issues of personal concern: - The ash borer has detroyed most of the ash trees on your property and...
Undergraduatefunkyb - Mar 24, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 25, 2012
|'The question WHY' - UIC personal statement
2 - It's a good start, but if you have more space to fill, definitely write more.. The anecdote concluding with...
Undergraduatekrystal_19 - Mar 21, 2012 / viviann16 - Mar 24, 2012
|'pleasing to the eye and interesting to the viewer' - graphic design admission
3 - I don't want to check the grammar just yet... Essay Structure (by paragraph): P1) How do you believe...
Undergraduatedens2012 - Mar 22, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 24, 2012
|'Growing up in Nigeria' - MD professional goal esay
Undergraduatembabatop - Mar 23, 2012 / TanvirBD - Mar 24, 2012
|"Most interesting science topic?", etc. - Summer Science Program Admissions Essay
2 - I'm so sorry that you didn't get any responses prior to the submission deadline of this admissions essay. :(...
Undergraduatecalvin46689 - Feb 22, 2012 / AMB2064864 - Mar 24, 2012
|"I am Vietnamese" - My UWC admission essay
16 - I think all of the suggestions here are wonderful. As far as the essay requirements I feel that you...
Undergraduatetru - Mar 18, 2012 / AMB2064864 - Mar 24, 2012
|'I pay close attention to the nature' - Transfer- introduce yourself to Penn
6 - Oh sorry , didn't pay attention :/ Trust me,don't quit you're damn helpful ! And since we're on the...
Undergraduateanstjswls - Mar 7, 2012 / sidmarur - Mar 23, 2012
|'Language piqued my interest ' - Personal Satement. Linguistics.
26 - Chalumeau- I added the line later but i think it was because i panicked. I didn't feel as if...
Undergraduatemenukagrg - Mar 11, 2012 / menukagrg - Mar 23, 2012
|'distant education' - applying for a degree at university
4 - An essay about what makes me unique : Please give me your thoughts , thanks autodidact, meticulous ,and...
Undergraduatemeandstudying - Mar 22, 2012 / meandstudying - Mar 23, 2012
|'reasons for transferring are almost entirely academic' - scientific journey transfer
2 - During my last year in high school, the medical university of my city, the only one as a matter...
UndergraduateNaira Raquel - Mar 16, 2012 / EF_Susan - Mar 21, 2012
|'playing Dream Wedding' - NYU Supplement essay.
2 - I have attached a file containing changes I made. Enjoyable. I want to listen to the song now....
Undergraduateay3212000 - Mar 19, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 19, 2012
|'a good school where I can experience a better study' Stern NYU admission essay
Undergraduatehuntur88 - Mar 17, 2012 / tipi - Mar 19, 2012
|'To begin to further myself as a person' - admissions essay
UndergraduateBrittain73 - Mar 18, 2012 / Brittain73 - Mar 19, 2012
|'a successful civil engineer' - engineering undergraduate apply
Undergraduatenobody - Mar 18, 2012 / nobody - Mar 18, 2012
|Personal Statement - My contrasting role models
NEW - Hello, I need to submit this by today and it is a personal statement for scholarship application. Please give...
Undergraduatebjhey - Mar 18, 2012 / — -
|AIF Waterloo Biomedical Sciences: Goals, Interests, and Reasons.
6 - well ask them again to request to send your application to the proper program in admissions office....
UndergraduateRoss11 - Feb 1, 2012 / tipi - Mar 18, 2012
|'the miracle of Tae-an' - About my activity or work - admission essay
Undergraduatehuntur88 - Mar 18, 2012 / — -
|Significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken - about acting
6 - I think it's asking you about your success or what you learned in your life. It doesn't matter whether...
Undergraduatejesupai - Dec 20, 2011 / huntur88 - Mar 17, 2012
|"my job at a bank and its influence" Short Answer for Common App work experience
Undergraduategabrieelh - Mar 15, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Mar 17, 2012
|'Aeronautics is one field of engineering' - USC DESCRIBE YOUR ACADEMIC INTERESTS
3 - (Aeronautical engineering) - Essay for Career Goals Any corrections are greatly appreciated...In 500 words or less, describe how...
Undergraduategreeley - Jan 10, 2012 / greeley - Mar 17, 2012
|A time I exhibited an exemplary leadership within a group and its impacts.
3 - Thanks censem, I have taken notes of this correction and will apply them in refining my essay. I will...
UndergraduateChigozie - Mar 16, 2012 / Chigozie - Mar 17, 2012
|'Personality is a replica of an individual traits' - Personality essay
2 - For example "Michel Phelps " the world's fastest swimmer who has accorded with laurels for achieving 16 Olympic medals...
Undergraduatesharadarige - Mar 13, 2012 / Chigozie - Mar 16, 2012
|'I have the personal qualities it takes' - nursing school application
NEW - I would appreciate any feedback regarding grammar or content. Thank you I have dreamed of going to nursing...
Undergraduatesydaddiesmom - Mar 16, 2012 / — -
|'to be happy where you are' - UCONN transfer commentary
NEW - here is the prompt Please include a thoughtful commentary on your academic goals and an explanation of reasons for...
Undergraduatefirefighter973 - Mar 16, 2012 / — -
|(political science) Letter of Academic Intent-Mature - UBC
2 - That was the question my father asked me after I walked off the stage at my high school graduation...
Undergraduatepaisean - Mar 15, 2012 / EF_Susan - Mar 16, 2012
|'my body begs for an escape' - College Transfer Essay
3 - You turned a tragic story into a happier one! Congratulations. You must be quite smart b/c neuroscience is really...
Undergraduatejukeboxlovesong - Mar 15, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 15, 2012
|'Living in a sense of urgency' - introduce yourself to Penn 150 WORDS
2 - I once created a 45-minute documentary about the struggles of Holocaust survivors. While filming, directing, and distributing the film,...
UndergraduateYakovKagan - Mar 15, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 15, 2012
|'better educated in the science' - Personal Statement TRANSFER Student Essay
2 - Potassium carbonate, microcrystalline cellulose, ferrous fumarate... My fascination with science first came to me when I landed my first...
Undergraduateamcchang - Mar 15, 2012 / jukeboxlovesong - Mar 15, 2012
|'snippets of Urdu' ONE paragraph grammatically
5 - I get what you said about describing things with more intensity, and I agree that I should have done...
Undergraduateninjahatori - Jan 1, 2012 / lesmerengues - Mar 15, 2012
|'last enrolled in college' - If you are not currently enrolled common app
3 - I am interested in nutrition, becoming a registered dietitian. My very first semester at college in 2007 was full...
Undergraduatesweetnesspwns - Mar 14, 2012 / sweetnesspwns - Mar 15, 2012
|When is it okay to escape reality? Essay (PSEO at the University of MN Admission)
NEW - I definitely need to elaborate and phrase things differently! Any feedback is helpful. Fantasy is escapist, & that...
UndergraduateRkerur - Mar 15, 2012 / — -
|'invest in education' - Common App Transfer Essay
5 - Also, I'm a little confused as to why you initially praised my essay and then proceeded to condemn it...
Undergraduategoettlek - Mar 11, 2012 / chalumeau - Mar 15, 2012
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