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|Video Editing, My Extracurricular Activity
3 - This hobby of mine is something I have enjoyed and learned more ofstudied for years. I take an...
UndergraduateMehdicom - Feb 9, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 14, 2012
|(with single parent) "Why college education is important to me"
Undergraduatelisathomas47 - Feb 14, 2012 / John9041 - Feb 14, 2012
|'I will be the first generation' - family history,culture,or environment
3 - allae this is for a university im seeking to get in im trying to understand the writring you corrected,and...
Undergraduate7any - Feb 13, 2012 / 7any - Feb 14, 2012
|'a kid in a faraway land in South America' - UVA transfer
UndergraduateKilldadevil - Feb 12, 2012 / Killdadevil - Feb 14, 2012
|'my college drawing class' - Statement of interest for MCAD
2 - As cliché as this may sound, art truly has the ability to bring to the surface underlying feelings some...
Undergraduatekaabthekirby - Feb 12, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 14, 2012
|'every night prior to contest' - a significant experience Common App Essay
2 - In my 10th and 11th grade years I had the opportunity to participate in my church's oratorical contest, based...
Undergraduatedax131 - Feb 11, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 14, 2012
|Why I'm going to choose Ballet CBTS programme
UndergraduateTeenie - Feb 13, 2012 / Teenie - Feb 14, 2012
|'headscarf stolen' - Common App activites short answer
Undergraduatershk - Feb 12, 2012 / rshk - Feb 13, 2012
|(incurable hereditary diseases) - reason to major in medicine
2 - I have always been interested in majoringstudying medicine. Since I was a little girl, I already have themy dream...
Undergraduatesara_227 - Feb 12, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Feb 13, 2012
|Mechanical engineering / high school accident) - Virginia Tech statements
Undergraduateghdud1234 - Feb 12, 2012 / ghdud1234 - Feb 13, 2012
|(becoming an inventor / Walking into Tahrir) - MIT Transfer Essays 1 and 3
2 - The second essay is interesting, but it sure does not seem to answer the prompt. The most interesting thing...
Undergraduatembanani - Feb 8, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 13, 2012
|'the best institution to begin my studies' - University of Toronto engineering
3 - Thank you very much, i appreciate your kind words. I like you're suggestions, and i have changed implemented...
UndergraduateMattman - Feb 11, 2012 / Mattman - Feb 12, 2012
|'the best knowledge and experience' Uni of Toronto: Application Essay for Engineering
Undergraduatezumi78878 - Feb 4, 2012 / zumi78878 - Feb 11, 2012
|'being in new environments' - UNCW application
UndergraduateJyeldell - Feb 10, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 10, 2012
|"The Dream" - Transfer Application essay
6 - , I've always loved to build, and I've always loved to dream This is really repetitive. It is...
UndergraduateTransferQDK - Feb 9, 2012 / alvarezo52 - Feb 10, 2012
|Radio and TV program at Ryerson essay
Undergraduateaaguedaa - Jan 28, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 9, 2012
|(training centers / laboratories) University of Michigan Supplements
Undergraduatejohnfwilliam - Feb 1, 2012 / johnfwilliam - Feb 9, 2012
|'a connection with my father' - BYU-Idaho Entrance Essay
Undergraduategeebs5 - Feb 1, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 9, 2012
|'I felt free of expectations and condemnations' - Saint Mary's Supplement
4 - All I could feel in a sermon was a powerful guilt gnawing at my conscious ---Should this say 'conscience'?....
Undergraduatehotblondenerd - Feb 1, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 9, 2012
|'I believe that stem cells..' - University of Miami, Florida
2 - Obama's actions ended a long, miserable period in which the moral complaints of religious activists were no longer accepted...
UndergraduateEthan1221 - Feb 9, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 9, 2012
|"Time" - McMaster Health Science: a Four Letter Word that should be Preserved
3 - Hi, I really liked your topic, however, id suggest u follow a different approach, for example, you can talk...
Undergraduateiliketofu - Jan 31, 2012 / mbanani - Feb 8, 2012
|'I am not challenging myself enough' - Transfer application, Sophomore
4 - Hi, I really liked your essays, you have very sound reasons and you explain them properly with some examples...
Undergraduatefida10 - Feb 6, 2012 / mbanani - Feb 8, 2012
|'Living in Nigeria' -Contributions might you bring to help create a diverse community
5 - Here is your whole piece, edited. Living in Nigeria, a west African country, for 17 years and coming...
Undergraduateblaze321 - Feb 7, 2012 / sonya15 - Feb 8, 2012
|Transfer Essay-"How many bullets does it take to kill a human being?"
3 - Thank you SO much!!! I appreciate your suggestions and I'll work on the tone and correct the mistakes you...
UndergraduateoptimisticJ - Feb 8, 2012 / optimisticJ - Feb 8, 2012
|'refined job placement and career assistance' Statement of Purpose for the U of TX
3 - Thank you so much :) Now that you mention it I definitely should expand it more. I was worrying...
Undergraduatetrina_ch93 - Feb 6, 2012 / trina_ch93 - Feb 8, 2012
|'dedication, persistence, and involvement' - Personal Statement
2 - Very good paper! A couple of things, you writing, especially "My mom opened my package and called to let...
Undergraduateloflo - Feb 7, 2012 / scoreas21 - Feb 8, 2012
|'Riding a New York City train' - Tufts University Transfer, Short Answer
2 - ...perplexed facial expression throughout the entire train ride, and if the passenger listens quite attentively the passengerhe will hear...
UndergraduateVinny_Pooh - Feb 4, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 7, 2012
|'unsure of my future route' - Why you want to transfer & what you hope to achieve
4 - Perhaps you can use a personal anecdote or experience which relates to your outgoing personality. Also, always try...
Undergraduatekawsneffect - Feb 2, 2012 / Spinosaursus - Feb 7, 2012
|'personal attention from my professors' - Lynn University Admissions
6 - Nice para, but focus onWHY LYNN? is it the academics? the campus? you could also mention the part that...
UndergraduateXavierChamp012 - Feb 1, 2012 / Athena - Feb 7, 2012
|(liberal arts / television broadcasting / fantasy world) - Brown
3 - Thank you for your compliment and critique! Do you think there is anything I should change, or parts...
UndergraduateSpinosaursus - Feb 6, 2012 / Spinosaursus - Feb 7, 2012
|'unbalancing the world politics' - Marquette Honors program essay
2 - In the future, technology will change in a plethora of ways, and some of the most significant changes will...
Undergraduatedanielcoley93 - Feb 6, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 6, 2012
|'put away the cell phones' - University of Texas Transfer Essay
2 - I think it was good, however, you might want to make it more about why the issue is important...
Undergraduatebribucha - Feb 6, 2012 / danielcoley93 - Feb 6, 2012
|'you would make a really good salary' - Why I want to be a nurse essay
UndergraduateDiablo8785 - Feb 6, 2012 / — -
|Association with every aspect of life; Objective of pursing Civil Engineering
Undergraduatemsilvy - Feb 5, 2012 / ibraheemo - Feb 6, 2012
|Is English my own? (why I love English better then my own language - Portuguese)
4 - Hello, I'm Portuguese, I really enjoyed your PS, I think you will be successful in your application ;)...
UndergraduateLomstein - Feb 3, 2012 / joanah - Feb 6, 2012
|'The power of education' - Common Application Transfer Response
3 - Thanks for the feedback. The reason that it sounded so generic was because I withheld some of my...
Undergraduatemankaneneestam - Feb 3, 2012 / mankaneneestam - Feb 5, 2012
|'my way to the Philippine' - my U of R Supplement?
Undergraduatekkiimmiikkoo - Feb 5, 2012 / — -
|'As soon as I arrived in France' - Life is a challenge personal statement essay
3 - The first paragraph, which revolves around your father as your source of inspiration, woudl be a good start in...
Undergraduateleboss1234567 - Feb 5, 2012 / leviator - Feb 5, 2012
|'my passion for the psychological studies' - SOP for UT undergrad Transfer
3 - I couldn't bring myself to accept that there are kids out there who simply possibly Re-word to: I couldn't...
Undergraduatetrina_ch93 - Feb 4, 2012 / Vinny_Pooh - Feb 4, 2012
|'to commmit a hundred percent of my focus' - The Art Institute essay
UndergraduateJustinSane717 - Feb 3, 2012 / paul1911 - Feb 4, 2012
|'I didn't fall behind in my school work' - cultural difference essay
2 - **** I really enjoyed the poetry of your essay. I organized the paragraphs to reflect what you felt during...
Undergraduateomo5031 - Feb 3, 2012 / fastact - Feb 4, 2012
|'the liberty to write a novel' - Oberlin Supplement
5 - Hi :) Nice job with your essay, your essay shows your personality well, and it is obvious how passionate...
Undergraduatemaroon5 - Jan 17, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Feb 2, 2012
|An inspiration that led me to rethink me path-UIUC essay
UndergraduateGsilent007 - Feb 2, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Feb 2, 2012
|'Basketball and feeling of regret' - Common App Essay
Undergraduateericaj09 - Jan 22, 2012 / mishal alzaid - Feb 2, 2012
|'an innocent man is in prison' - Why you're applying to *blank* school - Rice
Undergraduategaia777 - Feb 2, 2012 / Athena - Feb 2, 2012
|'My Mom' - TX University Admissions Essay - Most Impactful Person
Undergraduatejmutina - Feb 1, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Feb 1, 2012
|Admissions Essay for Art School: Confident and Eager to Learn More
3 - I made some changes; what do you think? NSCADU is short for Nova Scotia College of Art and Design...
Undergraduatesmoshr - Jan 31, 2012 / smoshr - Feb 1, 2012
|'As an introvert' - a person essay is past boyfriend appropriate?
3 - Hey Madison, I really like your essay. It's so well-written and expressed, at the same time conveys the...
Undergraduatemadison_mattox - Jan 31, 2012 / Athena - Feb 1, 2012
|'selfless, giving, and caring' - Dominican University- Nursing Supplement Prompt
4 - Hi! A well-written essay! You are answering the question, while also explaining what inspired you. Maybe u could...
Undergraduateheyhihello - Jan 31, 2012 / Athena - Feb 1, 2012
|'I got my first internship in my life' - UM unique essay
2 - Hi Markwu overall, you have drawn well. nonetheless, the first sentence must be "eye-catching", and powerful one. such...
Undergraduatemarkwu - Jan 31, 2012 / apidjakfar - Feb 1, 2012
|(well-known pharmacy school) - this paragraph to improve
Undergraduateunjh4545 - Jan 31, 2012 / — -
|"too compassionate" - McMaster Health Science: What defines you as you?
Undergraduateiliketofu - Jan 30, 2012 / iliketofu - Jan 31, 2012
|'my Armenian and Italian neighbors' - USC Academic Interests
Undergraduateaisl09 - Jan 9, 2012 / markwu - Jan 31, 2012
|'Neurodegenerative diseases' - Personal statement for SURF program in US
2 - As my mother tongue isn't english, so I am worried about every single things. Form proper word or grammar...
Undergraduatewhiungter - Jan 30, 2012 / ranger_85 - Jan 31, 2012
|'I researched registered nurse' - career project
6 - I like keeping things neat and being organized is important to me. AdditionallyFurther , I learnedfeel I am not...
Undergraduatedhamain87 - Jan 29, 2012 / dumi - Jan 31, 2012
|'rid ourselves of rationalizations' - parsons challenge
2 - I'm not really good at writing myself but I can help you with some grammar mistakes. Put a comma...
UndergraduateMikemikemike - Jan 30, 2012 / iliketofu - Jan 31, 2012
|'more analytical approach towards my life' - how you became interested in art
13 - these two disciplines has formed an integral part of my daily life. Chile and New York has given...
UndergraduateMikemikemike - Dec 21, 2011 / cypress - Jan 30, 2012
|'Supplementing my sociological studies' - USC transfer
3 - I really like this essay. I feel like it really grasps the reader because of how it is written....
Undergraduatecallonme - Jan 29, 2012 / aisl09 - Jan 30, 2012
|USC (The Experience of Geeks in the Future / Geeks and Nerds)
2 - Since this school is dedicated to nurturing its students into becomin g successful, the education that this school gives...
UndergraduateMEM4FP - Jan 28, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 30, 2012
|'I live in a big city' - UM [Identity of your community]
NEW - Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine,...
Undergraduatemarkwu - Jan 30, 2012 / — -
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