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|'photography for Life-long learning' - statement for degree of Creative Media
Undergraduatenickkan - Feb 28, 2012 / nickkan - Feb 29, 2012
|'learning to official terms' - Common App Transfer Extra Curriculars
6 - There are major errors throughout your essay (the first essay posted on this thread). The beginning of your essay...
Undergraduateawaqar714 - Feb 11, 2012 / partooz - Feb 29, 2012
|U Of I Transfer - 'to start the new chapter of my life'
5 - One thing that stuck out to me is do not use shorten words. Like for example, "Don't, won't, I'll."...
Undergraduategrayj106 - Feb 19, 2012 / ChichoTran - Feb 29, 2012
|'America, science, and mathematics' - Essay for Columbia Science honors program
5 - O Grant thank you for looking over this part of my essay the suggestions you gave to me really...
Undergraduatelenura96 - Feb 21, 2012 / Jodyherr - Feb 29, 2012
|'Savoir-Faire' - Political Science Field - Common APP Transfer
NEW - Well, today is the last day I have to apply to a few schools with strong political science and...
UndergraduateMehdicom - Feb 29, 2012 / — -
|"If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great". - Determined Brazilian
Undergraduatecortesfelipe - Feb 26, 2012 / cortesfelipe - Feb 29, 2012
|'I enter another world' - miami international art and design admission
2 - Hello, I like your essay. Your passion about fashion is easily shown, but I thought it is too...
Undergraduateniglesias - Feb 29, 2012 / cortesfelipe - Feb 29, 2012
|Desire to obtain a degree in Nursing
Undergraduatealisonbr - Feb 27, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 29, 2012
|'maximized any and all opportunities' - Common App Transfer Essay
Undergraduateawaqar714 - Feb 23, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 29, 2012
|'Why do you want to study in Norway?' - a motivation essay
Undergraduatefation1 - Feb 25, 2012 / fation1 - Feb 29, 2012
|'quickly growing as biology' - Statement of Purpose Essay for Admission to Biology
3 - Hi! The first line itself seems very limp. Try to think of some experience that you can link to...
Undergraduatestarlathornhill - Feb 8, 2012 / nithyanag - Feb 29, 2012
|scad essay video animation and character design
NEW - The statement should be a 500- to 750-word overview of the applicant's academic and professional accomplishments and should demonstrate...
UndergraduateShadowheart1711 - Feb 28, 2012 / — -
|'major in Communications with the hopes' - Transfer Essay for Texas A&M
2 - i would at least add a second closing paragraph. Focus on structure. Follow a logical pattern....
Undergraduatetwizzlers385 - Feb 28, 2012 / Mwhee018 - Feb 28, 2012
|'Special Topics In Life Science' - Rutgers Transfer Essay
Undergraduateangelgirl786 - Sep 24, 2011 / angelgirl786 - Feb 27, 2012
|'to appreciate the unique beauty of things around me' - What intrigues you?
Undergraduatemuse - Feb 26, 2012 / muse - Feb 27, 2012
|'inspiration to live out my dreams' - Temple University Admissions - 10 year reunion
NEW - I really need help proof reading my essay, im really bad a writing and i would really apprieciate if...
Undergraduatecruiz11 - Feb 27, 2012 / — -
|'Football is a dumb game' - Why I am Unique Yale Transfer prompt
4 - I think your points are a bit disperse, making me hard to get the feeling of "unique" rather than...
Undergraduatetransfer2016 - Feb 26, 2012 / carolinecong - Feb 27, 2012
|'a university highly respected worldwide' - College application
Undergraduatedrtr2008 - Feb 26, 2012 / TanvirBD - Feb 27, 2012
|Acceptance Essay for "The Art Institiute Of Charlotte"
UndergraduateDevonet - Feb 26, 2012 / bahamaessay - Feb 26, 2012
|Educational interest - psychology, future goals and plans (U of Minnesota)
3 - I love this piece! Adding the personal touches is especially insightful and defff work greatly in your favor in...
Undergraduatedreamer - Feb 26, 2012 / uagwuncha - Feb 26, 2012
|'People/cultures'- Personal statement Liberal Arts major in Texas University in Qatar
2 - Hi :) Great paper! I can suggest a few changes: I was able to witness howinteresting and unique...
UndergraduateAbbyZakozk - Feb 26, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Feb 26, 2012
|'When people's heads collapse' - Statement of Purpose for UT
NEW - Sorry I've procrastinated so I've missed my chance to have my english teacher help me. I'd appreciate any suggestions...
UndergraduateYouth - Feb 26, 2012 / — -
|Like a Pear UTSA topic C
2 - Correct grammar first. Change falling under your mother as just as stubborn as her. How do you feel about...
Undergraduatealexandra2012 - Feb 26, 2012 / Mks57 - Feb 26, 2012
|'heart for humanity' - volunteer experience for common application
4 - It's very concise and I like your choice of words. Awesome work! However I have a little suggestion!...
Undergraduatehikjennifer - Feb 10, 2012 / dreamer - Feb 26, 2012
|Peer2Peer study group/My interests in transfering CommonApp Essays
Undergraduatefida10 - Feb 22, 2012 / dreamer - Feb 26, 2012
|'I share the same character with NU' - Transfer essay-Northwestern supplement
2 - I find myself share the same character with NU you can reword that. You may want to avoid using...
Undergraduatecarolinecong - Feb 25, 2012 / transfer2016 - Feb 26, 2012
|'Born in Russia and growing up in the Czech Rep' Johns Hopkins Carey Business School
NEW - Who am I? Who will I become? Am I headed on the right journey to success? Undoubtedly, one of...
Undergraduatedevilnam - Feb 25, 2012 / — -
|'my lazy educational past' - USF Appeal for reconsideration
2 - Instead of electives, I have four classes that were devoted to performance theater and drama, so being constantly surrounded...
Undergraduateoliviago - Feb 25, 2012 / dje1212 - Feb 25, 2012
|West Point admissions essay asking why I can work well with others
2 - Great essay! Although at times it felt almost as though you were re-iterating the same idea. Otherwise your word...
Undergraduateskmbrdn59 - Feb 25, 2012 / uagwuncha - Feb 25, 2012
|'My son was born' - 100 word nursing entrance essay
2 - I like it! But sometimes do get to the point, like for example "instead of April 2010" just go...
UndergraduateKdugan1 - Feb 24, 2012 / ChichoTran - Feb 25, 2012
|Rate NYU - Studying Law (academic) / Why NYU? / Kryptos (intriguing)
4 - Decisions are coming out soon and I'm getting nervous again. Can someone still rate these for me please?...
Undergraduatejhuang123 - Jan 2, 2012 / jhuang123 - Feb 25, 2012
|"Issue of concern and importance to you"- Common App Essay on sexuality
2 - I am absolutely in love with this ! I really can't find anything wrong. Your introduction is so...
Undergraduateiang1 - Feb 24, 2012 / uagwuncha - Feb 24, 2012
|'Beautiful, diverse, and ranked on top' - UCF Admissions
UndergraduateSikhar - Feb 22, 2012 / Sikhar - Feb 23, 2012
|'work harder and become better' - Statement of purpose for UK university / IT
UndergraduateNeptunss - Feb 23, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Feb 23, 2012
|'physician assistant aspiration' - Summer Program Essay
3 - It is a well known fact that many graduate programs (physician assistant programs, in this case) require some form...
Undergraduatepaulan0917 - Feb 15, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 23, 2012
|'Two words: My brother.' - Howard U transfer Essay
3 - Beeps , Beep, Beep, the red eyes flash 10:00 as Ryan Seacrest announces the Top 40 songs in America....
Undergraduatealwaysmeful - Feb 14, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 23, 2012
|My essay "Why some friendships do not last"
UndergraduateMelon3 - Feb 23, 2012 / — -
|'a Kuwaiti student that came to the USA' - purpose of statement essay
3 - I am a Kuwaiti student; I came to the United States with my family. I've always loved learning the...
Undergraduatehaya95 - Feb 21, 2012 / nawal - Feb 23, 2012
|'lucky to be born in the 20th century' - The AIF Application
2 - We are lucky to born in the 20th century, the century that witnessed the germination of computer science; we...
Undergraduatedith - Feb 23, 2012 / Ethan1221 - Feb 23, 2012
|'to grow and evolve in all areas' - National Student Exchange Application Essay
3 - as Fida said, there are too many places mentioned and also the repetition of a word makes your sentence...
Undergraduatehgrierson - Feb 21, 2012 / imeon - Feb 22, 2012
|'seemingly random numbers and symbols' PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR COLLEGE SUMMER PROGRAM
4 - Great, thank you guys. I hope this is better: Ever since I started learning math and science in...
Undergraduatejwarren - Feb 21, 2012 / jwarren - Feb 22, 2012
|'Her efforts paid off' - help with a TEDx talk
2 - At 17, Natalie saw the documentary called Invisible Children: The... She quickly stood out among the other interns,...
Undergraduatesweetpea29 - Feb 20, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 22, 2012
|Wake up America ,UT issue of importance essay E
Undergraduatezacery10 - Feb 21, 2012 / zacery10 - Feb 21, 2012
|'your program in finance perfectly matches' - Common App Essay Help
2 - Before I came to college in North Seattle as a freshman, I have already decided my major to be...
Undergraduatesutrisno42 - Feb 21, 2012 / dje1212 - Feb 21, 2012
|'finding this balance' - Describe your reasons for transferring
5 - Hey, I think your essay is very well organized and ur ideas flow very freely. It is quite precise,...
Undergraduategdnyc - Feb 18, 2012 / divvya23 - Feb 21, 2012
|Meditation- CommonApp EC short answer response
3 - Very well written. The first paragraph, though, is written in past tense, and the second in present. Maybe...
Undergraduatefida10 - Feb 16, 2012 / leviator - Feb 21, 2012
|Facing the Giants [Personal Essay for Writing Class]
2 - The referee called the word for start, and we both began treading lightly on our feet. I took...
Undergraduatejinjusarang - Feb 13, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 20, 2012
|Guidance for my next step in life..college ( Essay Leadership)
NEW - There are many elements that have drawn me to extend my education at the University of Central Florida. As...
Undergraduatekmac - Feb 19, 2012 / — -
|One year abroad "field of study" essay - Common app
2 - My suggestion is to add one word in the beginning of your common app that summarize the entire essay....
Undergraduatecalliope - Feb 19, 2012 / ChichoTran - Feb 19, 2012
|'advantages and benefits of being an electrical engineer' how to impact the community
2 - Hi :) I can make a few suggestions. Your paper is great, and it is interesting. I would focus...
Undergraduateblaze321 - Feb 19, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Feb 19, 2012
|'making me a well-rounded woman' - Why Wellesley Essay
NEW - When choosing a college, you are choosing an intellectual community and a place where you believe that you can...
UndergraduateTieseJuanita - Feb 19, 2012 / — -
|"My father's voice" - Georgetown personal statement
NEW - hello, i'm applying to Georgetown SFS-Q and i wrote for the first time a personal statement, so please can...
Undergraduatemaram12 - Feb 19, 2012 / — -
|" Worship of safety emasculates greatness" - The CommonApp Transfer Essay
4 - Go to print preview it will say 250-500. I'd stay below 600. But your essay is very good. But...
Undergraduatemiss_dee - Feb 17, 2012 / MatisyahuOneDay - Feb 18, 2012
|"Pho changed my life" - Common app transfer essay
Undergraduateryanrhee90 - Feb 3, 2012 / ryanrhee90 - Feb 17, 2012
|University of Washington - Seattle Transfer Prompt. "Rising Endeavors "
2 - I think the essay has sufficiently addressed the prompt, however there are some grammatical errors you need to look...
UndergraduateChichoTran - Feb 13, 2012 / miss_dee - Feb 17, 2012
|'I found lack of academic challenges' - Transfer Essay
6 - This past summer after my freshman year in college, I worked for Gallery Builders Inc. in Winston-Salem building and...
UndergraduateJohn9041 - Feb 12, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 16, 2012
|'My brother's decision' - With independence comes increased responsibility
4 - The responsibility felt by a person grows with their independence. P ersonal care and descion making all impact ones...
Undergraduatebiggdog523 - Feb 12, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 16, 2012
|'my engineering aspirations' - Queen's PSE Essay
4 - Queen's university is the most profound place for this, as there is a large amount of diversity in the...
Undergraduatezumi78878 - Feb 11, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 16, 2012
|'Constantly improving my study' - Readmission Letter
NEW - Please provide feedback on my readmission essay. Thank you! Requirements: An academic personal statement is required for freshmen...
UndergraduateKevin1292 - Feb 16, 2012 / — -
|'My avatar' - UCF Honors Admission Essay
4 - Sure, it sounds vague and perhaps even unpromising, but all other historical solutions must have yielded --should this word...
Undergraduatekenmur - Feb 11, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 16, 2012
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