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|'Her efforts paid off' - help with a TEDx talk
2 - At 17, Natalie saw the documentary called Invisible Children: The... She quickly stood out among the other interns,...
Undergraduatesweetpea29 - Feb 20, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 22, 2012
|Wake up America ,UT issue of importance essay E
Undergraduatezacery10 - Feb 21, 2012 / zacery10 - Feb 21, 2012
|'your program in finance perfectly matches' - Common App Essay Help
2 - Before I came to college in North Seattle as a freshman, I have already decided my major to be...
Undergraduatesutrisno42 - Feb 21, 2012 / dje1212 - Feb 21, 2012
|'finding this balance' - Describe your reasons for transferring
5 - Hey, I think your essay is very well organized and ur ideas flow very freely. It is quite precise,...
Undergraduategdnyc - Feb 18, 2012 / divvya23 - Feb 21, 2012
|Meditation- CommonApp EC short answer response
3 - Very well written. The first paragraph, though, is written in past tense, and the second in present. Maybe...
Undergraduatefida10 - Feb 16, 2012 / leviator - Feb 21, 2012
|Facing the Giants [Personal Essay for Writing Class]
2 - The referee called the word for start, and we both began treading lightly on our feet. I took...
Undergraduatejinjusarang - Feb 13, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 20, 2012
|Guidance for my next step in life..college ( Essay Leadership)
NEW - There are many elements that have drawn me to extend my education at the University of Central Florida. As...
Undergraduatekmac - Feb 19, 2012 / — -
|One year abroad "field of study" essay - Common app
2 - My suggestion is to add one word in the beginning of your common app that summarize the entire essay....
Undergraduatecalliope - Feb 19, 2012 / ChichoTran - Feb 19, 2012
|'advantages and benefits of being an electrical engineer' how to impact the community
2 - Hi :) I can make a few suggestions. Your paper is great, and it is interesting. I would focus...
Undergraduateblaze321 - Feb 19, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Feb 19, 2012
|'making me a well-rounded woman' - Why Wellesley Essay
NEW - When choosing a college, you are choosing an intellectual community and a place where you believe that you can...
UndergraduateTieseJuanita - Feb 19, 2012 / — -
|"My father's voice" - Georgetown personal statement
NEW - hello, i'm applying to Georgetown SFS-Q and i wrote for the first time a personal statement, so please can...
Undergraduatemaram12 - Feb 19, 2012 / — -
|" Worship of safety emasculates greatness" - The CommonApp Transfer Essay
4 - Go to print preview it will say 250-500. I'd stay below 600. But your essay is very good. But...
Undergraduatemiss_dee - Feb 17, 2012 / MatisyahuOneDay - Feb 18, 2012
|"Pho changed my life" - Common app transfer essay
Undergraduateryanrhee90 - Feb 3, 2012 / ryanrhee90 - Feb 17, 2012
|University of Washington - Seattle Transfer Prompt. "Rising Endeavors "
2 - I think the essay has sufficiently addressed the prompt, however there are some grammatical errors you need to look...
UndergraduateChichoTran - Feb 13, 2012 / miss_dee - Feb 17, 2012
|'I found lack of academic challenges' - Transfer Essay
6 - This past summer after my freshman year in college, I worked for Gallery Builders Inc. in Winston-Salem building and...
UndergraduateJohn9041 - Feb 12, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 16, 2012
|'My brother's decision' - With independence comes increased responsibility
4 - The responsibility felt by a person grows with their independence. P ersonal care and descion making all impact ones...
Undergraduatebiggdog523 - Feb 12, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 16, 2012
|'my engineering aspirations' - Queen's PSE Essay
4 - Queen's university is the most profound place for this, as there is a large amount of diversity in the...
Undergraduatezumi78878 - Feb 11, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 16, 2012
|'Constantly improving my study' - Readmission Letter
NEW - Please provide feedback on my readmission essay. Thank you! Requirements: An academic personal statement is required for freshmen...
UndergraduateKevin1292 - Feb 16, 2012 / — -
|'My avatar' - UCF Honors Admission Essay
4 - Sure, it sounds vague and perhaps even unpromising, but all other historical solutions must have yielded --should this word...
Undergraduatekenmur - Feb 11, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 16, 2012
|'to finish the film he had started' - My Williams Looking Through a Window
5 - Thanks for your reply, Susan! In the dictionary it says: Someday adverb. at sometime in the future: I...
Undergraduatezhouyeran - Feb 11, 2012 / zhouyeran - Feb 15, 2012
|The University of the Arts- What Inspires you?
7 - The twenty first century has been filled with revolutions in the world of technology, ranging from products that are...
Undergraduatemariagaston - Jan 12, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 15, 2012
|'major issues with water' - College essay To Texas State University
5 - Since the beginning of time, people have been harnessing water. The great Egyptian civilization, ---No comma here.--- depended...
Undergraduatealvarezo52 - Jan 12, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 15, 2012
|'My life in a nut shell' - UT transfer Statment and purpose essay
2 - Hi :) You have done a very nice job with this essay. The introduction is a little cliche, but...
Undergraduatebribucha - Feb 13, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Feb 15, 2012
|School Leaving Certificate / studies at COA
Undergraduateiamhelpless - Feb 15, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Feb 15, 2012
|'Computer Science was a perfect choice' - NYIT essay
Undergraduatenep123 - Feb 14, 2012 / iamhelpless - Feb 15, 2012
|becoming one of the best Certified Public Accountants- Austin Transfer Essay-My Dream
Undergraduatea_rose14 - Feb 14, 2012 / iamhelpless - Feb 15, 2012
|Explanation for a low grade - Transfer Essay
UndergraduateWriter9000 - Feb 14, 2012 / Writer9000 - Feb 14, 2012
|'a wealth of intuition and a cornucopia of stories' - Application Essay
UndergraduateN_Scorpion - Feb 12, 2012 / N_Scorpion - Feb 14, 2012
|"I Am an Actor" - Georgetown Transfer Essay, First Prompt
3 - Thanks for the feedback. It is greatly appreciated. I did revisions on this essay extensively - the new...
Undergraduatemankaneneestam - Feb 9, 2012 / mankaneneestam - Feb 14, 2012
|'I plan to become a policy analyst' - UW Seattle Personal Statement (Transfer)
2 - In addition to that, though, my mother instilled in us a sense of acceptance and excitement about the world...
Undergraduatebmart18 - Feb 9, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 14, 2012
|'my journey profession' - extracurricular activities or work experience
4 - I remember I was ashamed of dancing, fearing from others' jokes, considering this was my very first time showing...
Undergraduateidreamparis - Feb 9, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 14, 2012
|Video Editing, My Extracurricular Activity
3 - This hobby of mine is something I have enjoyed and learned more ofstudied for years. I take an...
UndergraduateMehdicom - Feb 9, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 14, 2012
|(with single parent) "Why college education is important to me"
Undergraduatelisathomas47 - Feb 14, 2012 / John9041 - Feb 14, 2012
|'I will be the first generation' - family history,culture,or environment
3 - allae this is for a university im seeking to get in im trying to understand the writring you corrected,and...
Undergraduate7any - Feb 13, 2012 / 7any - Feb 14, 2012
|'a kid in a faraway land in South America' - UVA transfer
UndergraduateKilldadevil - Feb 12, 2012 / Killdadevil - Feb 14, 2012
|'my college drawing class' - Statement of interest for MCAD
2 - As cliché as this may sound, art truly has the ability to bring to the surface underlying feelings some...
Undergraduatekaabthekirby - Feb 12, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 14, 2012
|'every night prior to contest' - a significant experience Common App Essay
2 - In my 10th and 11th grade years I had the opportunity to participate in my church's oratorical contest, based...
Undergraduatedax131 - Feb 11, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 14, 2012
|Why I'm going to choose Ballet CBTS programme
UndergraduateTeenie - Feb 13, 2012 / Teenie - Feb 14, 2012
|'headscarf stolen' - Common App activites short answer
Undergraduatershk - Feb 12, 2012 / rshk - Feb 13, 2012
|(incurable hereditary diseases) - reason to major in medicine
2 - I have always been interested in majoringstudying medicine. Since I was a little girl, I already have themy dream...
Undergraduatesara_227 - Feb 12, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Feb 13, 2012
|Mechanical engineering / high school accident) - Virginia Tech statements
Undergraduateghdud1234 - Feb 12, 2012 / ghdud1234 - Feb 13, 2012
|(becoming an inventor / Walking into Tahrir) - MIT Transfer Essays 1 and 3
2 - The second essay is interesting, but it sure does not seem to answer the prompt. The most interesting thing...
Undergraduatembanani - Feb 8, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 13, 2012
|'the best institution to begin my studies' - University of Toronto engineering
3 - Thank you very much, i appreciate your kind words. I like you're suggestions, and i have changed implemented...
UndergraduateMattman - Feb 11, 2012 / Mattman - Feb 12, 2012
|'the best knowledge and experience' Uni of Toronto: Application Essay for Engineering
Undergraduatezumi78878 - Feb 4, 2012 / zumi78878 - Feb 11, 2012
|'being in new environments' - UNCW application
UndergraduateJyeldell - Feb 10, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 10, 2012
|"The Dream" - Transfer Application essay
6 - , I've always loved to build, and I've always loved to dream This is really repetitive. It is...
UndergraduateTransferQDK - Feb 9, 2012 / alvarezo52 - Feb 10, 2012
|Radio and TV program at Ryerson essay
Undergraduateaaguedaa - Jan 28, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 9, 2012
|(training centers / laboratories) University of Michigan Supplements
Undergraduatejohnfwilliam - Feb 1, 2012 / johnfwilliam - Feb 9, 2012
|'a connection with my father' - BYU-Idaho Entrance Essay
Undergraduategeebs5 - Feb 1, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 9, 2012
|'I felt free of expectations and condemnations' - Saint Mary's Supplement
4 - All I could feel in a sermon was a powerful guilt gnawing at my conscious ---Should this say 'conscience'?....
Undergraduatehotblondenerd - Feb 1, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 9, 2012
|'I believe that stem cells..' - University of Miami, Florida
2 - Obama's actions ended a long, miserable period in which the moral complaints of religious activists were no longer accepted...
UndergraduateEthan1221 - Feb 9, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 9, 2012
|"Time" - McMaster Health Science: a Four Letter Word that should be Preserved
3 - Hi, I really liked your topic, however, id suggest u follow a different approach, for example, you can talk...
Undergraduateiliketofu - Jan 31, 2012 / mbanani - Feb 8, 2012
|'I am not challenging myself enough' - Transfer application, Sophomore
4 - Hi, I really liked your essays, you have very sound reasons and you explain them properly with some examples...
Undergraduatefida10 - Feb 6, 2012 / mbanani - Feb 8, 2012
|Transfer Essay-"How many bullets does it take to kill a human being?"
3 - Thank you SO much!!! I appreciate your suggestions and I'll work on the tone and correct the mistakes you...
UndergraduateoptimisticJ - Feb 8, 2012 / optimisticJ - Feb 8, 2012
|'Living in Nigeria' -Contributions might you bring to help create a diverse community
2 - blaze321 i have found essay very interesting but their are few mistakes in Ghana it is rude for a...
Undergraduateblaze321 - Feb 7, 2012 / farina - Feb 8, 2012
|'refined job placement and career assistance' Statement of Purpose for the U of TX
3 - Thank you so much :) Now that you mention it I definitely should expand it more. I was worrying...
Undergraduatetrina_ch93 - Feb 6, 2012 / trina_ch93 - Feb 8, 2012
|'dedication, persistence, and involvement' - Personal Statement
2 - Very good paper! A couple of things, you writing, especially "My mom opened my package and called to let...
Undergraduateloflo - Feb 7, 2012 / scoreas21 - Feb 8, 2012
|'Riding a New York City train' - Tufts University Transfer, Short Answer
2 - ...perplexed facial expression throughout the entire train ride, and if the passenger listens quite attentively the passengerhe will hear...
UndergraduateVinny_Pooh - Feb 4, 2012 / EF_Susan - Feb 7, 2012
|'unsure of my future route' - Why you want to transfer & what you hope to achieve
4 - Perhaps you can use a personal anecdote or experience which relates to your outgoing personality. Also, always try...
Undergraduatekawsneffect - Feb 2, 2012 / Spinosaursus - Feb 7, 2012
|'personal attention from my professors' - Lynn University Admissions
6 - Nice para, but focus onWHY LYNN? is it the academics? the campus? you could also mention the part that...
UndergraduateXavierChamp012 - Feb 1, 2012 / Athena - Feb 7, 2012
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