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|'My father had been my inspiration' - Engineering Essay - UofT
2 - Hi, I liked your essay :)I just corrected a couple of things in the revised version. ....lives by...
Undergraduateanita123 - Jan 24, 2012 / Athena - Jan 25, 2012
|'Getting lost in a book' - Favorite Place to get lost -UVA
3 - GREAT first sentence.. very insightful. One place that I can usually count ---Get rid of "that" whenever it is...
Undergraduatesnuggie - Dec 19, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jan 24, 2012
|'passion for business' - A Hopeful Junior Transfer - Personal Essay
8 - Thank you! You're right. I just read my whole essay, and that part really does take it off topic....
Undergraduatespeedoflight25 - Jan 17, 2012 / speedoflight25 - Jan 24, 2012
|(starting up my own company / the field of computer science) Madison Wisconsin
NEW - Statement 1: The University values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities...
Undergraduateclbembry - Jan 24, 2012 / — -
|PURDUE's "my autobiography - digital life"
4 - Hi :) No worries! You are doing fine. About your questions: this was copy from my last statement,...
Undergraduategraxezi - Jan 23, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Jan 24, 2012
|My goal to transfer to Nursing School Admission
Undergraduatebyeung1489 - Jan 24, 2012 / TokoziBlonde - Jan 24, 2012
|'the ins and outs of cars' - Mechanical Engineering UofT
Undergraduatejasonty9 - Dec 3, 2011 / anita123 - Jan 24, 2012
|(My exploration / Autism) - UC Essays Review
Undergraduatesaurabh93 - Jan 23, 2012 / Athena - Jan 24, 2012
|'more levels to reach' - CALTECH ESSAY
6 - Edited version: "This moment in fourth grade stuck with me for years, and is still as clear as...
Undergraduatemorecelery - Dec 26, 2011 / morecelery - Jan 23, 2012
|"My Goal is Success" - Summer Program Essay
NEW - Essay should be 250 words and it must include : "Please share some of your reasons for wanting to...
Undergraduatejosexirizarryx7 - Jan 23, 2012 / — -
|(give back to the communities / interest in philosophy) - UW 1 and 2
Undergraduateclgroth - Jan 17, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 23, 2012
|'I worked diligently in school' - Common App Transfer Essay - Education
11 - I approached him afterwards, where he said "oh, Karla, I didn't think anyone would actually do it. Thank you,...
Undergraduatejimmik - Jan 14, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 23, 2012
|WCMC-Q admission Essay about Dreams
Undergraduatemartyr - Jan 23, 2012 / martyr - Jan 23, 2012
|The Blind Boy That Taught Me How To See / RISD
5 - Thank you so much! I edited the essay; mostly the beginning and end. THE BLIND BOY THAT TAUGHT...
Undergraduatephenotype - Jan 20, 2012 / phenotype - Jan 23, 2012
|'sharing a goal common to many immigrants' - Help OSU short answer
UndergraduateTopEffort - Jan 22, 2012 / TopEffort - Jan 22, 2012
|'middle-class household, suburban Pennsylvania' Rice cultural tradition/contribution
3 - Well, in the first two paragraphs ,"I" counted seventeen times that you say 'I', there must be a way...
Undergraduategurecka - Dec 29, 2011 / Thors Hammer - Jan 22, 2012
|'My fascination with universities' - Common APP ESSAY-Why I wish to transfer
Undergraduatelamia09 - Jan 17, 2012 / lamia09 - Jan 22, 2012
|Extra curricular essay for Common app-Volunteering at a hospital
Undergraduateaisl09 - Jan 22, 2012 / aisl09 - Jan 22, 2012
|'I'm from Vermont' - Stanford Roommate question
Undergraduatepfrench - Dec 22, 2011 / Sierra_lee1 - Jan 22, 2012
|(love for experiments / remote controlled circuit) - IVYs.
Undergraduatedpa - Jan 18, 2012 / Tennisbaby111 - Jan 22, 2012
|Personal circumstances (that would be useful for us to consider your application)
UndergraduateNesreen - Jan 21, 2012 / Nesreen - Jan 22, 2012
|"Look at her; she is the only Chinese." - Common App personal
Undergraduatemichelleyixuan - Jan 14, 2012 / michelleyixuan - Jan 22, 2012
|Engineering Leaders: Experience inside/outside of class -USC Suppelment
6 - Your welcome! I guess if its the usual length of essays submitted, you could stick to this length. Maybe...
UndergraduateRanak - Jan 21, 2012 / Athena - Jan 22, 2012
|'my passion for medicine' - USC Supplement Essay
5 - I really like this essay because you do a great job of giving insight to your interests and personality....
Undergraduatessm28 - Jan 9, 2012 / aisl09 - Jan 22, 2012
|"The Redbox & McDonald Days" (CommonApp essay)
4 - Thanks for providing a really well written example of a narrative to me. The last attempt at trying to...
UndergraduateThe Quill - Jan 17, 2012 / Thors Hammer - Jan 21, 2012
|'I'm pregnant?' - Admissions Essay - core values
4 - Yes family first - and you still where able to pursue your professional development. That's great for you and...
Undergraduatehnp123 - Jan 19, 2012 / Thors Hammer - Jan 21, 2012
|George Washington U: "Orientation Towards Success" RISKY Essay
5 - I like how you're being honest about why you applied. Still, maybe you could focus a little bit less...
Undergraduatepch340 - Jan 21, 2012 / Snowflakes - Jan 21, 2012
|'a strong foundation in business' Fashion Institute of Technology, Personal Statement
2 - I stopped reading at "ugly"... Please do not put yourself down, not ever, not ever on paper, not even...
Undergraduatesumbeams - Jan 21, 2012 / Thors Hammer - Jan 21, 2012
|"I was 15 when I discovered that my mother read books"
2 - 200 words are tight, and considering the point you are making is well worth listening to too! I like...
UndergraduateGraceTaylorWei - Jan 21, 2012 / Thors Hammer - Jan 21, 2012
|(cold weather / figure skating class) - UBC application-personal profile
3 - Thank you for advise.) I'm a international student,so I still have some problems with English. Sorry,what do you mean...
Undergraduatetarepanda - Jan 21, 2012 / tarepanda - Jan 21, 2012
|'to become an editor at Seventeen Magazine' - UT Austin External Transfer SOP
3 - Thanks so much to both of your responses! Susan, I went ahead and changed those things you listed above...
Undergraduateses11793 - Jan 16, 2012 / ses11793 - Jan 21, 2012
|'adopted a new way of living' - Personal Essay - Texas A&M/UT-Austin Transfer Essay
5 - Hello Anant, By no means am I proficient in essay writings, nor, am I a high school graduate. Hence,...
UndergraduateAnant Bagchi - Jan 6, 2012 / Thors Hammer - Jan 20, 2012
|'my first information technology class' University of Texas at Austin - Transfer
2 - Looks good! I made quite a few changes as you'll see in color. Also, I crossed out the "according...
Undergraduatevargam91 - Jan 20, 2012 / speedoflight25 - Jan 20, 2012
|UVa - PLace to get lost - "Lost in the Woods"
4 - The light streams through the trees creating moving shadows as the leaves blow in the wind. The leaves from...
Undergraduatedaniel44992 - Jan 1, 2012 / phenotype - Jan 20, 2012
|Majors: Health Prevention Science & Biomedical - USC Supplement
3 - Thanks will do check out yours... what do you mean? what kind of details? cause that's all I got...
UndergraduateRanak - Jan 20, 2012 / Ranak - Jan 20, 2012
|'internships and a first hand job experience' - Why OSU
3 - Talk more about the university itself, and even go into what you want to pursue, A lot of places...
UndergraduateScarySubmit - Jan 20, 2012 / saurabh93 - Jan 20, 2012
|Stereotyped; Nerds & Geeks, embrace or reject?
6 - Thank you so much AR Stewart you were a great help! I have another essay to write about, it's...
UndergraduateRanak - Jan 20, 2012 / Ranak - Jan 20, 2012
|Uni. of Washington Transfer - Intl. Development Studies Major
UndergraduateARStewart - Jan 20, 2012 / Ranak - Jan 20, 2012
|'helping combat human trafficking in Nepal' - Mt.Holyoke Transfer
3 - Dear Susan, Thank You so much for taking your time to proofread it. I will definitely work on...
Undergraduatequeencscity12 - Jan 19, 2012 / queencscity12 - Jan 20, 2012
|'Dream big' - app for an exchange program
5 - kindheartedness - definately not a word. nourished my heart with compassion and kindheartedness , sensationsFeelings you'll never learnunderstand...
Undergraduatemimi305 - Jan 19, 2012 / qadirv - Jan 20, 2012
|'who could memorize the most and reproduce it' - something not found on your resume.
5 - I think you're in the right direction. The topic could be great. I agree with the first comment. I...
Undergraduateqadirv - Jan 19, 2012 / gradhelp2012 - Jan 20, 2012
|<Breaking Ground> [Transfer Admission - Common App Essay]
4 - What I really, really like is how you've outlined the progression of events. It makes it very easy for...
UndergraduateKING106 - Jan 16, 2012 / speedoflight25 - Jan 20, 2012
|'don't want Shakespeare to write my play.' - AUC university
4 - i think it is right without the "which" because we have a dependant clause which is (Although there...
UndergraduateAhMeD PrInCe - Jan 19, 2012 / AhMeD PrInCe - Jan 20, 2012
|'being close to my family' - science personal essay
3 - My passion for science came frombegan when I was diagnosed with Scoliosis in the seventh grade. My personal...
UndergraduateTheta526 - Jan 17, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 19, 2012
|'I am naturally selfish' - college application
6 - Last year, my mother asked if I'd be interested in volunteering on Thanksgiving with The Good Shepherd Alliance, which...
Undergraduatecabotbp - Jan 13, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 19, 2012
|I had no idea about choosing major of undergraduate studies when I was graduated from high school.
3 - To be honest, I had no idea about choosing a major of undergraduate studies when I was graduated from...
Undergraduatejunshao90 - Jan 3, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 19, 2012
|"Debate destroys me" my common application short answer for transfer
2 - Through the founding of ...and the Tibetan Moreover, I am no long... ...knowledge. I became a challenger... all my...
Undergraduatetranssss - Jan 18, 2012 / Thors Hammer - Jan 19, 2012
|'a strong passion for programming' - USC Supplemental
2 - Growing up in a technological age wasconsidered to be a blessing for me, where I used my childhood life...
UndergraduateRAVENSM - Jan 19, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 19, 2012
|Parsons Admission Essay - What influenced me to want to get into graphic design
Undergraduatepodkin - Jan 18, 2012 / mimi305 - Jan 19, 2012
|' I'm an Indian girl. ' - Community essay (UMich)
2 - paid far lesserless than they deserve. Still, I say "thank you, bhaiya" (Thank you, Brother) and still they...
Undergraduateshad - Jan 19, 2012 / mimi305 - Jan 19, 2012
|NCSSM Admissions Essay #1: "Awards, Certificates, Projects, and Recognitions"
2 - I think you need to emphasize whether the pond you are in currently is competitive. For instance, at some...
UndergraduateAwwsumness - Jan 10, 2012 / taben - Jan 19, 2012
|'transferring to Photography program' - you a perfect candidate for FIT?
Undergraduateafricanking - Jan 18, 2012 / africanking - Jan 19, 2012
|Eugene Lang College- "Tell us about a time when you were in the minority" essay
3 - so sensitive. I would actually recommend changing your subject to something else, because what if the person grading your...
UndergraduateNiQyira - Jan 18, 2012 / bridgedivya - Jan 18, 2012
|'A group with leadership has more organization' - FSU Essay
2 - LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL "statistics show that leadership is 83% helpful to a group" take that out. oh and take out that...
Undergraduateshaunpee93 - Jan 2, 2012 / smithchaz - Jan 18, 2012
|'The appealing characteristic is global awareness' - FSU
3 - Reason beingThis is because many things in our society needs to be changed. As a student, my goal...
Undergraduatekenben12 - Jan 6, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 18, 2012
|'when I found out I was moving to United States' transfer- Common App
2 - But soon I realized that life wasn't always a Hollywood movie. Attending a college in New York City...
Undergraduatelunga211 - Jan 16, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 18, 2012
|"Atithi Devo Bhava" CORNELL HOTEL SCHOOL ESSAY
2 - I love to smell the scents that spread around my house as a delicious chicken curry simmers in the...
UndergraduateSopKha - Jan 17, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 18, 2012
|'A dozen gleaming faces' - Common app short answer
Undergraduatemonjinho - Jan 16, 2012 / Athena - Jan 18, 2012
|USC Viterbi Q/A -- 1) Experience In/Out of Class, 2) Embrace as a geek?
2 - Hi, I just read through your first essay. I think u can describe more about the inside/out-of-classroom...
UndergraduateEKI - Jan 17, 2012 / Athena - Jan 18, 2012
|'The MTV Movie Awards' - Page 87 of autobiography-VCU essay
2 - What is VCU? Your essay is great. Stardom=how does first taste of famego? Or first experience of being a...
UndergraduateTennisbaby111 - Jan 15, 2012 / dpa - Jan 18, 2012
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