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|My Struggle with Autism -- Common App
8 - This is amazing! I love the dandelion part. You did a great job at engaging the reader, but I...
Undergraduatesaurabh93 - Dec 15, 2011 / Bleeckerandpine - Jan 11, 2012
|'experiences with various cultures' - Penn State Personal
Undergraduateunwana11 - Jan 8, 2012 / unwana11 - Jan 11, 2012
|'A story about Jesus' - USFCA admission essay
Undergraduatejuswin - Jan 11, 2012 / akari - Jan 11, 2012
|'I am a friendly person' - MY FUTURE ROOMMATE - STANFORD
7 - Well, it certainly is more fun reading your replies after each and every sentence Jawad has written.. I believe...
Undergraduatejkhalifeh93 - Dec 20, 2011 / emanon - Jan 11, 2012
|STANFORDS SUPPLEMENTS- faith in god + grasshopper + reflections
4 - Your roommate essay is so fun to read and also effectively reflects what kind of person you are. And...
Undergraduatejesupai - Dec 20, 2011 / emanon - Jan 11, 2012
|'dynamic and warm community' - Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
2 - UCF seemed to me as a dynamic and warm community. In fact, the endless activities and clubs held within...
Undergraduatexaviermerino - Jan 11, 2012 / littlebutterfly - Jan 11, 2012
|'a product designer and entrepreneur' - USC Essay
4 - I feel like your ideas could be better connected, you mention a lot but dont elaborate on a specific...
Undergraduatekausik1993 - Jan 10, 2012 / greeley - Jan 10, 2012
|'I can become a successdul engineer in the future' - for APIASF
Undergraduate520crystal - Jan 10, 2012 / 520crystal - Jan 10, 2012
|Personal Accountability - UT Undergraduate Admissions
UndergraduateHerrTrigger - Jan 9, 2012 / saurabh93 - Jan 10, 2012
|Describe your most interesting mistake; 'Invincible' - GWU suggestions
Undergraduateneed_advice - Jan 10, 2012 / need_advice - Jan 10, 2012
|'I love how inspiring you are' - My love letter to Reed.
3 - Farewell until then, my dear. Yours lovingly, I think the last part sounds a bit cliche, but the rest...
Undergraduateaerielm - Jan 10, 2012 / saurabh93 - Jan 10, 2012
|'a passion for animals and nature' - Bucknell Major Explaination
2 - This is my first year dabbling in Environmental Studies, where I have seen how humans are destroying the planet....
Undergraduateteddyerock - Jan 10, 2012 / saurabh93 - Jan 10, 2012
|'my passion is trying to find my passion' - Common app essay
2 - Wow! Your essay is very well written- outstanding actually. You make it very clear that you have great passion...
Undergraduatejinglethetingle - Jan 9, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Jan 10, 2012
|'acoustic guitar' - short answer response for Common App
4 - I've gathered some books on application essays over the past few days and I noticed many of them suggest...
Undergraduatewozzcat1990 - Jan 10, 2012 / wozzcat1990 - Jan 10, 2012
|"Music was my refuge." - georgetown
2 - Music: (Living on the Gospel) This is an unclear title. Maya Angelou said, "Music was my refuge. I...
Undergraduatecrystal77 - Jan 10, 2012 / kayleighlevitt - Jan 10, 2012
|'decided to major in computer science' - Commonapp transfer essay
NEW - please help edit this essay.thanks Thomas Jefferson once said "Nothing can stop the man with the right mental...
Undergraduatezanzy - Jan 10, 2012 / — -
|'Academics, diversity, location' - Columbia Supplement: Why!!
8 - What Appeals To You Most About Columbia? After several campus visits, an overnight vist, and an Engineering Invitational,...
UndergraduateTanici1401 - Jan 7, 2012 / Tanici1401 - Jan 10, 2012
|Gates Essay - Community Involvement Nonviolence
Undergraduaterifatmursalin - Jan 10, 2012 / misskkf - Jan 10, 2012
|'Judgment: without evidence it is prejudice.' - Judgement - speed essay practice
Undergraduatepigboot - Dec 29, 2011 / Coriolis - Jan 10, 2012
|'the cosmopolitanism of UK' - Personal statement, economics university in UK
3 - . My hobbies are chess, because it is a game where you have to predict and anticipate the moves...
Undergraduatehyperione - Jan 8, 2012 / hyperione - Jan 10, 2012
|'learned the wrong language' - GWU short essay
3 - I don't understand what you want to say about your most interesting mistake: your error in learning English or...
Undergraduateneed_advice - Jan 9, 2012 / chocho9 - Jan 10, 2012
|"Finding the Truth" - Georgetown Supplement help?
Undergraduateamespeed - Jan 9, 2012 / tgupta16 - Jan 10, 2012
|(bus ride to Project R.I.S.E. / love-hate relationship with football) Common App
5 - you have some grammar mistakes in this essay, the second sentence of the longer essay is "than the whistle...
Undergraduateblackjack11z - Jan 8, 2012 / ochoa_catherine - Jan 10, 2012
|'a costume to wear for one year of my life' - Common App
11 - Well I would say it started like a good essay. However, cause you put it "as fun as possible",...
Undergraduatebestcrayons911 - Dec 30, 2011 / phhai - Jan 10, 2012
|'38 year old daughter-in-law' - my extra curricular activity essay
Undergraduatemenukagrg - Jan 9, 2012 / menukagrg - Jan 10, 2012
|'I have only been to another state, city, country' - Seattle University
NEW - I only have 5 days left before i can send in the application, the personal statement has scared me...
Undergraduatefreedom1 - Jan 10, 2012 / — -
|'Staying up late to finish projects' - NORTHEASTERN ARTIST STATEMENT
NEW - PROMPT: The department is looking for applicants who will shape the character and vision of the department. We are...
UndergraduateLisaVuong - Jan 9, 2012 / — -
|'The voice of the jury' - Dancing - Personal Statement
4 - Its cool that you did ballroom dancing in high school. The problem is this essay doesn't really say much...
Undergraduatephantuhoang - Dec 29, 2011 / twizzlestraw - Jan 9, 2012
|Personal Statements: "A new journey" and "My chilhood tree" -> which to choose?
Undergraduatelinhnguyen2112 - Jan 9, 2012 / phantuhoang - Jan 9, 2012
|'to pursue a human undertaking' - Georgetown significant activity essay
Undergraduatebabygurl2012 - Dec 18, 2011 / slythr - Jan 9, 2012
|'emphasis on a balanced curriculum' - GWU Essay
2 - I would restructure the first paragraph a bit. I would start by talking about how GWU is located at...
UndergraduateShaLa28 - Jan 9, 2012 / HerrTrigger - Jan 9, 2012
|'made sacrifices in the past' - How will I enrich there community
UndergraduateConstanceT - Jan 8, 2012 / need_advice - Jan 9, 2012
|College App Essay on how Steve Jobs has influenced me, he loved what he did.
2 - instead of using tech, i would spell out the entire word. Other than that, it is a great essay!...
Undergraduatebennett9319 - Jan 9, 2012 / jinglethetingle - Jan 9, 2012
|'diagnosed with Clear Cell Sarcoma Type II' - USC ACADEMIC INTERESTS
4 - @Mureille could you please look at my two essays... Thanks a lot, I'm trying to round them both up...
Undergraduatelysolfresh - Jan 9, 2012 / unwana11 - Jan 9, 2012
|'pre-established connection with GWU' - Why GWU essay
Undergraduateneed_advice - Jan 9, 2012 / need_advice - Jan 9, 2012
|'Music and Drumming' - LAST SECOND ESSAY FOR UIUC
NEW - 1. In no more than 300 words, tell us something about yourself that isn't covered elsewhere in this application,...
Undergraduatejinglethetingle - Jan 9, 2012 / — -
|'curriculum has won me over' USC SHORT ANSWER-ACEDEMIC INTEREST (BUSINESS MARKETING)
Undergraduatefrannnny2 - Jan 7, 2012 / frannnny2 - Jan 9, 2012
|'GOD always comes first in my life' - What Is Faith Exactly Essay
Undergraduatecrystal77 - Jan 9, 2012 / ssm28 - Jan 9, 2012
|'The girls my age went to adult clubs' - skills or knowledge
3 - Thank you !...
UndergraduateNana12 - Jan 8, 2012 / Nana12 - Jan 9, 2012
|"God is great, God is good, Prayer" - Why Brown?
Undergraduatemylo_zyloto - Jan 4, 2012 / mylo_zyloto - Jan 9, 2012
|'ProTrack co-op program' - FIT Application
7 - @Prettywings could you please look at my other two open threads. I am running late on deadlines so i...
Undergraduateunwana11 - Jan 7, 2012 / unwana11 - Jan 9, 2012
|*WHO RUNS THE WORLD?* - TUFTS optional supplement essay
UndergraduateItsokaytoGaga - Jan 3, 2012 / mylo_zyloto - Jan 9, 2012
|'to convince difficult clients to buy a product ' - one of your extracurricular
2 - The essay looks good but the only issue here is that you are not addressing the question completely. Even...
UndergraduateJoeclef - Jan 9, 2012 / Essay_Writer - Jan 9, 2012
|'we can perceive technologies everywhere' - Usage of Computers
Undergraduatealeka - Jan 9, 2012 / Usman Ahamd - Jan 9, 2012
|'a result of the Harmattan' - personal essay
2 - As I look through the window, I see the result of dusty surroundings: dusty winds and the shedding of...
Undergraduatezanzy - Jan 8, 2012 / Prettywings - Jan 9, 2012
|What is your favorite ride at the amusement park? Reflect on approach to life?
3 - The ride controller led us the way to our seats, but this took several minutes, due to the hordes...
Undergraduatedjking99 - Jan 7, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 9, 2012
|'red-hot traditions, intramural sports...' - Why Stony Brook University?
2 - For engineering majors like me, research and hands-on experience are crucially important, and Stony Brook University matches both of...
Undergraduatelongabcd - Jan 7, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 9, 2012
|'our traveller keep going to find his destination' someone who has made an impact
UndergraduateWadePhan - Jan 9, 2012 / — -
|'fascinated by the world of economics' - AUBG essay
2 - Heavily over-weighted coverage of your past achievements and career ambitions. Instead of listing this broad spectrum, better to spend...
Undergraduateleta - Jan 6, 2012 / linmark - Jan 9, 2012
|'He was mobilized' - UNC ESSAY international
4 - Thanks a lot, guys. I really appreciate your feedback. It is nice to realize that my writing is not...
Undergraduatetimurmukhtarov - Jan 4, 2012 / timurmukhtarov - Jan 8, 2012
|'summer at the office' - Common App Extracurricular Essay : Summer Internship
3 - all who have the same goal of helping improve the county all who have the same goal of improving...
Undergraduatecarochoi - Dec 30, 2011 / runhenry - Jan 8, 2012
|'The Pursuit of Medicine' - Sophie Davis Essay #3
2 - Great essay, however you need to have a stronger introduction. Make the reader bite the apple. In addition try...
Undergraduateegpctim - Jan 8, 2012 / Nana12 - Jan 8, 2012
|'learning about the history, culture, law and policy' - USC Supplement
2 - Wow, you have the same exact interest for political science or law as I do. And I am currently...
Undergraduateohmyclod - Jan 7, 2012 / StevenWong206 - Jan 8, 2012
|GEORGIA TECH ESSAY: "My First True Love"
3 - virtuoso! but some minor flaws: "awkward transition between child and teenager, cold winter nights spent reading by the fireplace,...
Undergraduatecrackhamster - Jan 8, 2012 / runhenry - Jan 8, 2012
|'Science is the concerted human effort' - University of Michigan
5 - I agree with janeth, I would not make your opening so absolute. I would either state something a little...
Undergraduateminijuey - Jan 5, 2012 / crackhamster - Jan 8, 2012
|'goal scored by Kaka!' - Discuss the significance Georgetown
2 - When your writing an essay, try to envision what the message your trying to get across is. Right now...
Undergraduatecrystal77 - Jan 8, 2012 / crackhamster - Jan 8, 2012
|'a law to The Ministry of Magic' - Tufts Supplement
4 - As a fellow Harry Potter fan, I LOVE your essay! its extremely unique would definitely stand out but i...
Undergraduatedoctorgirl222 - Jan 3, 2012 / shereen85 - Jan 8, 2012
|'golf course cheating (ethical dilemma)' - Common app essay
Undergraduateeryic - Jan 3, 2012 / mohamed459 - Jan 8, 2012
|'came from a poor background' - UConn application essay
3 - I looked at my second paragraph and i couldn't exactly make many changes, could you give me examples of...
Undergraduateunwana11 - Jan 8, 2012 / unwana11 - Jan 8, 2012
|'major in international studies' Gates millenium essay about Short and leng term goal
NEW - Discuss your short and long-term goals. Are some of them related? Which are priorities? "Without goals, and plans...
Undergraduateoromo04 - Jan 8, 2012 / — -
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