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|'my encounter with David' - Macalester Supplement (Diverse experience)
2 - I really like your story, although I would say you should probably emphasize a bit more on the challenges...
Undergraduateanonymous124 - Jan 15, 2012 / cordyceps - Jan 15, 2012
|'The workings of the human mind and curiosity' - Macalester Supplement (Why Mac?)
2 - some of my suggestions: I am in constant search for any opportunities that may help quench my thirst for...
Undergraduateanonymous124 - Jan 15, 2012 / cordyceps - Jan 15, 2012
|'opportunity to travel anywhere in the world' - Colgate supplement essay
3 - - mystical tase of Tarator soup - taste of real Bulgaria". - experience the place if I given the...
Undergraduatephhai - Jan 15, 2012 / anonymous124 - Jan 15, 2012
|'the vast terrains of China' - Colgate (Where would you travel and why?)
Undergraduateanonymous124 - Jan 15, 2012 / anonymous124 - Jan 15, 2012
|'the global perspective' - WHY Emory
3 - I would suggest adding a short conclusion, kind of a quick summary about a sentence or two or what...
Undergraduatesingh955 - Jan 14, 2012 / cordyceps - Jan 15, 2012
|'being Mexican American is tough' - personal experience to colleges
8 - Thank u very much it was very helpful..., would u mind checking my other essay I wrote and tell...
UndergraduateBetsy01 - Jan 15, 2012 / Betsy01 - Jan 15, 2012
|'done a rigorous research on many universities' - DIVERSITY ESSAY
6 - I made a few friends (being awesome at basketball, it was easy) and taught them about my religion not...
Undergraduateawsmness - Jan 15, 2012 / phhai - Jan 15, 2012
|'speech and language disabilities' - Speech Pathology Admissions Essay!
3 - I made a mistake too. It should be : Although the students' disabilities or difficulties differ, the effects...
Undergraduatejenny10786 - Jan 13, 2012 / ershad193 - Jan 15, 2012
|'Visiting Australia' - Unique interests/talents - Bucknell
2 - I had attended same essay and had described my interest in playing cricket and playing Guitar. I think...
Undergraduateteddyerock - Jan 13, 2012 / upendhakal - Jan 15, 2012
|'what type of leadership you portray' - RA Leadership Essay
6 - *What is leader?* This seems wrong, use Who is a leader? Please align you paragraphs so that there is...
Undergraduateericao2010 - Jan 7, 2012 / malvi - Jan 15, 2012
|'created their own Android app' - Why Lafayette? Interview.
2 - Most of all, I loved Lafayette's Cur Non motto--- What does it mean?---that encourages students to step out of...
Undergraduatemaryp630 - Jan 13, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 14, 2012
|'The environment is important to me' - Why Emory Essay
5 - It is lacking a personal tone, but overall, it will suffice. By the way, I'm applying to Emory...
UndergraduateRobLiu - Jan 14, 2012 / singh955 - Jan 14, 2012
|Personal Statement - Kenya Research
Undergraduatelwest94 - Jan 13, 2012 / Moonpie123 - Jan 14, 2012
|'much more to life than just to have a mansion' - commonapp short answer
4 - Thanks man! Here I tried to re-write it. Please check it once.. Being a teacher is a challenge....
Undergraduateiamhelpless - Jan 14, 2012 / iamhelpless - Jan 14, 2012
|'an incentive to sprint outdoors' - risk, achievement
4 - Most of the essay only talks about your experience in the woods. This is only suffice to answer half...
Undergraduatebrutal1231 - Jan 14, 2012 / singh955 - Jan 14, 2012
|The Aftermath of Rape And What I've Learned. Personal Statement!
4 - This is was pretty good, but like mentioned above, you should place more emphasis on what you learned....
Undergraduateasburyceline - Jan 14, 2012 / singh955 - Jan 14, 2012
|'international influence on the Macalester campus' - Macalester Supplement
5 - Macalester is a good match for me for a multitude of reasons.---deleted It's a really good essay, show your...
Undergraduateeryic - Jan 8, 2012 / runhenry - Jan 14, 2012
|Education interruption Common App response
Undergraduatehopefulsckid - Jan 14, 2012 / brutal1231 - Jan 14, 2012
|'Serving God with their Jesuit Catholic values' - Seattle University is a good match
2 - I think you should definitely elaborate more on this topic. The supplements for Seattle U. does not give a...
UndergraduateBetsy01 - Jan 14, 2012 / anpan - Jan 14, 2012
|'nothing but a few blankets and clothes' Church Youth UGA Essay
2 - During my involvement with my church's youth group over the years, there have been many moments that have been...
Undergraduateberto - Jan 13, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 14, 2012
|'I release all my stress and unhappiness' - common app short answer
Undergraduatelmyd213 - Jan 13, 2012 / lmyd213 - Jan 14, 2012
|'despite her tedious work load' - Topic: Person that influenced me
NEW - Due tomorrow. Any advice is welcome(: The woman's appearance was that of a typical Pakistani female with frizzy...
Undergraduatesg120 - Jan 14, 2012 / — -
|'An anything but ordinary college' - Oberlin College Supplement Help
Undergraduateheybrahsupbrah - Dec 30, 2011 / surajpoudel - Jan 14, 2012
|'I hear the name Steve Jobs after' - Reed 2012 Admission Essay
2 - While the presence of Steve Jobs adds more prestige to the college, as it would to any college, the...
Undergraduatemkpack - Jan 13, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jan 14, 2012
|'our different human experiences' - USC academic interest paragraph
Undergraduatehopefulsckid - Jan 13, 2012 / hopefulsckid - Jan 14, 2012
|'My parents will support any decision' - CommonApp Personal Statement
2 - Growing up, I havewas lucky enough to live with both of my parents and my younger sister. My family...
Undergraduatesoccergrl7z7 - Jan 14, 2012 / jimmik - Jan 14, 2012
|'Watching Allen playing' - INDICATE AND DESCRIBE AN INFLUENTIAL PERSON
Undergraduatedzung_0809 - Jan 14, 2012 / dzung_0809 - Jan 14, 2012
|'where all the fun comes to die' - Why Bryn Mawr?
5 - your essay is really amazing! but i think you should add some details about what you will bring to...
Undergraduateaugust23vn - Jan 8, 2012 / michelleyixuan - Jan 14, 2012
|'Children Medical Services' - Sophie Davis: meaningful volunteer experience
Undergraduatemohamed459 - Jan 8, 2012 / mohamed459 - Jan 14, 2012
|'become intimate with him/her' - Common Application
2 - , I heard their ineffable debacles, including rapes and brutal assaults. From this unique opportunity, I became more aware...
Undergraduategjfzm55 - Jan 14, 2012 / cabotbp - Jan 14, 2012
|'my career path of forensic psychology' - SEATTLE U PERSONAL STATEMENT
Undergraduatelopezangela30 - Jan 14, 2012 / maryp630 - Jan 14, 2012
|'the city that taught and inspired me in my youth' - Queens university entrance
NEW - In an essay of 300 words or fewer (approximately 1950 characters with spaces), write about your goals for your...
Undergraduatelordsia - Jan 14, 2012 / — -
|'Am I going to be expelled?' - COMMON APP
3 - This is the topic Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art,...
Undergraduateasm - Jan 13, 2012 / asm - Jan 14, 2012
|'spent all my life in Georgia' - Furman Supplement essay.
Undergraduategugavar - Jan 14, 2012 / mursel - Jan 14, 2012
|(academics and social life / speak life / house) - Tufts essayds
6 - Hey John! Your essays are really great! Good work! :) Your writing shows to its full exent the kind...
Undergraduatejohnfwilliam - Jan 4, 2012 / ItsokaytoGaga - Jan 14, 2012
|'a 5 hour plane ride to Texas' - University Of Richmond Supplement
2 - Your essay sounds well, just write more in the conclusion. It is good when you are describing the value...
Undergraduateblcchp - Jan 13, 2012 / gugavar - Jan 14, 2012
|'the painting competition' - (Grinnell Supplement)
Undergraduategugavar - Jan 14, 2012 / Leehoo - Jan 14, 2012
|[Why Wellesley] 'underneath the Mona Lisa Smile'
NEW - Hey guys~ This is my Why Wellesley essay. It will be submitted in 24 hours so I really need...
UndergraduateLeehoo - Jan 14, 2012 / — -
|(don't know how to start) - SUMMER RESEARCH PROGRAM ESSAYS (completed)
3 - I thought you answered the questions very well. They are very very specific, which is very good. Also, your...
Undergraduateericao2010 - Jan 3, 2012 / singh955 - Jan 14, 2012
|'interest in pursuing a Business' - Ithaca Supplement.
3 - I think this essay is great, but doesn't Ithaca have a 250 character limit? Common App is cutting me...
Undergraduatejult94 - Dec 30, 2011 / jason7 - Jan 14, 2012
|'Different' - Fashion Design - candidate for FIT?
2 - I wouldn't use 'however' as a transition there for your ideas in the two sentences feel like more...
UndergraduateFannie - Jan 13, 2012 / cordyceps - Jan 13, 2012
|'Proud and inspiration' - Admissions Essay
UndergraduateChavCool93 - Dec 31, 2011 / Fannie - Jan 13, 2012
|(We'll meet in Italy / Academics) - Colgate supplemental
5 - Your story was a great way to start off answering the firs question. I wouldn't say "Staying far...
Undergraduatechibinguyen - Jan 9, 2012 / teddyerock - Jan 13, 2012
|'great influence on defining my goals' - Common APP Transfer Essay
3 - I like how concise and straight to the point your essay is, although you might want to look at...
Undergraduatedjb222 - Jan 13, 2012 / cordyceps - Jan 13, 2012
|"You're childish" - Essay about nature of natural sciences
4 - Really nice essay, i do not think i have any suggestions for improving this because in my opinion it...
Undergraduatejeffstark93 - Jan 11, 2012 / oko - Jan 13, 2012
|'Life is a vortex of events' - UT Austin Transfer Essay
NEW - Hi, could you help me with my essay please? I think it's too wordy and has too many grammatical...
Undergraduatenastya - Jan 13, 2012 / — -
|'I have the whole world' - Union College
Undergraduateloolaa - Jan 9, 2012 / surajpoudel - Jan 13, 2012
|Carnegie Mellon Supplement-The Human BOdy vs Computers
4 - I remember reading a couple weeks ago, and I thought it was amazing. It still is. I can really...
Undergraduatejesupai - Dec 26, 2011 / boom - Jan 13, 2012
|'I lay my heart on the line' - North Carolina
4 - You switch back and forth from the british and american version of learnt and learned. When you say this,...
Undergraduatetgupta16 - Jan 10, 2012 / boom - Jan 13, 2012
|'not a sad little creature all the time' - Letter to your roommate - Bryn Mawr
Undergraduateaugust23vn - Jan 8, 2012 / boom - Jan 13, 2012
|'Sarajevo, Jakarta, Thailand, Nepal' - Skidmore College Diversity Answer
3 - Thank you so much! I feel relieved now. I've made some little edits in my answer but that's it....
Undergraduateboom - Jan 12, 2012 / boom - Jan 13, 2012
|"What miracle have you witnessed?" MHC sup.
NEW - This is a real story that happens in my life. And i really appreciate all advices for this draft....
Undergraduatekexu2012 - Jan 13, 2012 / — -
|'I feel powerless' - Common App personal essay
3 - The "s" instead of "z" with regards to the spelling is because I'm from England, so technically they're not...
UndergraduateMoonpie123 - Jan 12, 2012 / Moonpie123 - Jan 13, 2012
|'I am working as a Consulting Engineer' - Description of your self
Undergraduatemouhandissa - Jan 11, 2012 / mouhandissa - Jan 13, 2012
|(To become an artist) - The job I like best---short essay
2 - I think your essay would be stronger if you just elaborate on one experience in full details, like the...
Undergraduateecho5016 - Jan 13, 2012 / duckling - Jan 13, 2012
|'Discovering my passion for learning and math' - COMMONAPP
Undergraduateduckling - Jan 13, 2012 / besareso - Jan 13, 2012
|'joined a motorcycle club' - personal statement, leadership and achievement
UndergraduateValerie - Jan 12, 2012 / besareso - Jan 13, 2012
|'a great learning environment' - essay for Rutgers.
3 - Tell them about your dominance and why you eager to studying in Rutgers University. To my opinion, the very...
UndergraduateSecundinius - Jan 12, 2012 / echo5016 - Jan 13, 2012
|'finding connections between subjects' - WHY REED? SUPPLEMENT ESSAY
Undergraduatetrgcook - Dec 21, 2011 / mkpack - Jan 13, 2012
|'My grandmother, cousins, and I' - VTECH essay
3 - Great beginning, beautiful opening. The flow seems a bit choppy though, and I'm having trouble following the end. ...
Undergraduateariana123 - Jan 12, 2012 / mkpack - Jan 13, 2012
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