|Undergraduate [25,500] - page 18 of 426|
|Only Better - conquering something a thousand times larger than myself; Common App. Personal Essay
3 - @Holt, thank you so much for your comments. Your feedback definitely puts things into perspective, and I am willing...
Undergraduatermarquez - Nov 27, 2016 / rmarquez - Nov 27, 2016
|College application essay on how I will help enrich their community!
4 - Good foundation, but I think you would do well to expound on the programs and clubs that you plan...
Undergraduatebreslusarek - Nov 26, 2016 / rmarquez - Nov 27, 2016
|Doing something for the first time can be extremely intimidating... Describe an unfamiliar situation
4 - I think that what you have written would make a good introduction. You could use your rugby experience as...
Undergraduatejentyj - Nov 26, 2016 / rmarquez - Nov 27, 2016
|Human resource management answer - your specific concentration areas of interest
8 - @Holt thanks so much! I removed the reference as you suggested and it definitely looks better. Really appreciate the...
Undergraduatenazzia30 - Nov 23, 2016 / nazzia30 - Nov 26, 2016
|Describe your best experience working as a leader or working in a group or team (SHAD Valley 2017)
Undergraduatealex137911 - Nov 26, 2016 / alex137911 - Nov 26, 2016
|Describe your favorite academic subject and explain how it has influenced you.
4 - @ymcashehata After all, scientific discoveries are not made by parrots who refuse to question what their surroundings.... ...
Undergraduateymcashehata - Nov 7, 2016 / alex137911 - Nov 26, 2016
|Education is the first step in my life as an adult - Common app essay
4 - Fantastic ! Victoria, you have really come through with this essay. The idea behind how you transformed into an...
Undergraduateblueblue01 - Nov 25, 2016 / Holt - Nov 26, 2016
|'all the hard work made will be worth it' - UPenn's Writing Supplement
6 - @Holt I can't thank you enough for the advice! I'll start my new essay and I'll probably share it...
Undergraduatepoorwriterhelp - Nov 24, 2016 / poorwriterhelp - Nov 26, 2016
|Being biracial is like fighting a war within yourself - COMMON APP ESSAY REVIEW
12 - Happy belated Thanksgiving to you to and yes, I do celebrate Thanksgiving. I really like the way your essay...
Undergraduatekangsix - Nov 20, 2016 / Holt - Nov 26, 2016
|Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character
UndergraduateRedPillow - Nov 25, 2016 / justivy03 - Nov 25, 2016
|WHY BOSTON UNIVERSITY? my passion for biology and experience living in a 3rd world nation
2 - Ademidun, I do not see any commonalities listed between your interests in Boston University and the way the university...
UndergraduateDemieymaj - Nov 25, 2016 / Holt - Nov 25, 2016
|'my outlet to express myself' - FIT Fashion Merchandising and Management Major Fall 2017
5 - We need to address the inconsistent discussion in this paragraph. You should make sure to properly reflect the way...
Undergraduatesoph1998 - Nov 23, 2016 / Holt - Nov 25, 2016
|Common App Prompt 5: How family problems helped catalyze my transition to adulthood.
3 - Hassan, it can be said that this essay, in terms of story, focuses more on your brother and the...
Undergraduateashutosh123 - Nov 24, 2016 / Holt - Nov 25, 2016
|We want to get to know you better. Description by a friend. Colgate University Supplemental Essay
Undergraduatecb8156 - Nov 23, 2016 / cb8156 - Nov 24, 2016
|Helping elderly using new technologies. Statement of objective, MIT graduate school
11 - @Holt Thank you so much! I really appreciate what you have done to help people improve essays and...
Undergraduatesddxwytxfh - Nov 22, 2016 / sddxwytxfh - Nov 24, 2016
|My greatest talent or skill: Dance/Choreography. Why is this meaningful to you?
3 - Elaine, I find that your essay was misled in direction by the opening statement that you presented. That is...
Undergraduateey17173 - Nov 23, 2016 / Holt - Nov 24, 2016
|"I could either watch it happen or be part of it." SOP for technical internship.
3 - I would also recommend relating it back to the quote you started it with to truly conclude your essay....
UndergraduateKodesmart - Nov 23, 2016 / cb8156 - Nov 23, 2016
|The exam day had arrived. Personal Essay for Common App
3 - Akankysha, I think that your essay is running a bit too long when it doesn't need to be. Your...
Undergraduateakankshya - Nov 23, 2016 / Holt - Nov 23, 2016
|Illegal. Undocumented. Invisible. Vulnerable. I am a DREAMER - Common App essay
3 - Michelle, I can sense the emotions that you have placed into developing this essay. You have laid yourself out...
Undergraduatemichelle31 - Nov 22, 2016 / Holt - Nov 22, 2016
|I ruffled my hair in frustration - Common app essay on background, identity, interest, or talent
3 - Cindy, here is a rule of thumb with reviewers reading college application essays. They do not believe, appreciate, nor...
Undergraduatecmizhquiri - Nov 21, 2016 / Holt - Nov 22, 2016
|Why you are interested in applying to and attending Swarthmore? To be challenged academically.
4 - I would rather that you do not add them. You see, unless you have actually experienced the events or...
Undergraduateyjung17 - Nov 21, 2016 / Holt - Nov 21, 2016
|Growing up with a single, military mother- PENN STATE ESSAY REVIEW
4 - Yes, you should definitely explain the situation about your mother's PTSD and your brother's Epilepsy because those situations further...
Undergraduatekangsix - Nov 21, 2016 / Holt - Nov 21, 2016
|NYU Abu Dhabi. The idea of going to an university, let alone leaving the school, had been disturbing
6 - Hello, let me give my correction for you while specialisingspecializing in one field of pursuingan or the...
UndergraduateWaheguru225 - Nov 20, 2016 / yurikeyuri - Nov 21, 2016
|Tell us something you do for your own pleasure. (sketching and reading)
Undergraduateidontknow - Nov 20, 2016 / idontknow - Nov 20, 2016
|Admission essay: If I had to choose... I'd go to Thailand.
2 - Tasnim, you have really responded well to the prompt with the topic you have chosen and the presentation you...
Undergraduatetasnimf - Nov 19, 2016 / Holt - Nov 20, 2016
|Barnard is all that I have envisioned
7 - Yoosol, you need to make adjustments to the first paragraph where you speak of the values that Anne Nathan...
Undergraduateyjung17 - Nov 17, 2016 / Holt - Nov 18, 2016
|Boston University is the Perfect Utopia
6 - Hello I will give you my correction, feel free to corection me too. Ever since I remember when...
Undergraduateyjung17 - Nov 15, 2016 / alfinkurnia - Nov 17, 2016
|Growing up, I always knew I wanted to be an Artist. SCAD statement of purpose.
3 - Luisa, what you have written is a personal statement for your application. This is not a statement of purpose....
Undergraduateluisaj - Nov 16, 2016 / Holt - Nov 17, 2016
|A story about yourself that you have not already shared in your application
Undergraduatelibbysims - Nov 16, 2016 / libbysims - Nov 16, 2016
|If I had the ticket in my hands right now I would be on my way to visit Paris. College essay
3 - Hello, Mariel. In the second paragraph, I found that you tried to contradict your motive about the destination. It's...
Undergraduatedianamariel - Nov 16, 2016 / khanifati - Nov 16, 2016
|'to learn, and to be a better one' Personal Essay of an Art Student Applying to RISD, SAIC and MICA
5 - @Holt Thanks for your suggestion! Here is my new draft according to your comments. My name "Shanran" is...
UndergraduateRaven Mo - Nov 2, 2016 / Raven Mo - Nov 16, 2016
|My personal long term goal is to become a civil engineer and be an inspiration to others
3 - @Lucas1997 You have just 100 word maximum, so there is no neccesity to repeat 'My personal long term goal...
UndergraduateLucas1997 - Nov 9, 2016 / Nyurkens - Nov 15, 2016
|I had always been infatuated with animated cartoon shows - USC Cinematic Arts Personal Statement
10 - Hello, let me give you my correction ...,one thing I will never budge on,...I think this is opposite,...
UndergraduateMiaZhang - Nov 5, 2016 / yurikeyuri - Nov 15, 2016
|UC Prompt- OBSTACLES...Taking care of grandma
2 - Annika, indeed, this essay is quite personal. It is well written and portrays your difficulties in life. I know...
Undergraduateannikaacuna - Nov 15, 2016 / Holt - Nov 15, 2016
|I have lost in a competition, but I have won many things - IMP: Astronomy - Common App Essay
UndergraduateEhabugrad - Nov 14, 2016 / Ehabugrad - Nov 14, 2016
|College Essay: What inspired you to apply to Union? (Limit: 150 words)
4 - There are a number of discussion points that you can consider for this statement. The first is the liberal...
UndergraduateEhabugrad - Nov 14, 2016 / Holt - Nov 14, 2016
|Additional Information section in Common App CHECK
2 - Ehab. don't use bullet points when writing in this section of your application. It must still be presented in...
UndergraduateEhabugrad - Nov 14, 2016 / Holt - Nov 14, 2016
|PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR USEFP SEMESTER EXCHANGE PROGRAM
2 - Afreen, the reality of your essay is that it is severely under developed in terms of responding to the...
UndergraduateAynna - Nov 14, 2016 / Holt - Nov 14, 2016
|College Essay, Topic A, help edit, is due by Nov., Edit anything: Vocab, Grammar, Puncuation
3 - Hi Victoria Plata, Your writing is good, but in order to make it better, here some suggestions for...
Undergraduatepeanutgirl - Oct 16, 2016 / dils - Nov 14, 2016
|My mom is always there for me. The Person Who Changed My Life.
2 - Hannah, hats off to you for choosing your mom for the center of this essay. She sounds like a...
Undergraduatejc4 - Nov 14, 2016 / Holt - Nov 14, 2016
|UC Prompt #8-What sets you apart? Rough draft-notepad and italy
3 - Annika, it is my opinion that you should rethink the content of your essay. It is currently more of...
Undergraduateannikaacuna - Nov 14, 2016 / Holt - Nov 14, 2016
|Senatorial Nomination for Service Academy
UndergraduateTMoore2021 - Nov 14, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Nov 14, 2016
|The club ignited the fire in me to embrace my individuality - COMMON APP ESSAY REVIEW
9 - @Holt Sure. I'll keep in mind everything you've mentioned and make changes. Once again, thank you very much....
Undergraduatefall2017 - Nov 13, 2016 / fall2017 - Nov 14, 2016
|What can you bring on board - Calvin College
3 - Bless, you have a pretty good overview of the activities that you plan to participate in while at Calvin....
UndergraduateBlessBampoe - Nov 13, 2016 / Holt - Nov 14, 2016
|Discipline your emotions, or they will use you - Common app Prompt 2
6 - @Holt Thank you for your help, and I will change my essay topic and will concentrate on detail picturing....
Undergraduatebarry - Nov 12, 2016 / barry - Nov 13, 2016
|So naive and young, I had belief that high school was going to be simple. Experiencing an failure.
4 - @lexilexi123 Hello, Your essay seems to relate to the topic well. However, I have some suggestions for you. I...
Undergraduatelexilexi123 - Oct 31, 2016 / fall2017 - Nov 13, 2016
|REVIEW ESSAY FOR PEACE CORPS VOLUNTEER APPLICATION
2 - Rebecca, for starters, you are 9 words over the 500 word maximum limit. You may want to look into...
Undergraduaterebeccahailee - Nov 13, 2016 / Holt - Nov 13, 2016
|I'm imagining what will happen if I got a ticket to go anywhere I want. I'll go to the year of 2020.
3 - Chanh, the ticket story should be based on your current reality. The ticket does not give you access to...
Undergraduatechanh1239x - Nov 13, 2016 / Holt - Nov 13, 2016
|"I do not dream success, I work for it." - My principal. Essay apply Texas To UT Austin
2 - Chanh, this draft essay definitely works very well as a response to the background story. However, there was a...
Undergraduatechanh1239x - Nov 13, 2016 / Holt - Nov 13, 2016
|The Light Inside the Dark. Why would you be a good participant in UGRAD Program?
3 - Madina, I am not sure that this essay will work for the benefit of your application. The UGrad program...
UndergraduateMadina S - Nov 12, 2016 / Holt - Nov 13, 2016
|Personal essay to introduce myselve to my classmates
2 - Hi, Florian. Here some advice for your writing ... biology in Göttingen, BUT PRIOR TO THATBefore, she...
Undergraduateflozer - Nov 13, 2016 / NinaJoesuf25 - Nov 13, 2016
|If I had a ticket to anywhere, anywhere I'd like, I'd travel overseas to Syria. Essay topic C 2017
Undergraduateabbykae - Nov 10, 2016 / abbykae - Nov 13, 2016
|"Dream Big, and The Result Will be Big." Why would you be a great participant of Ugrad?
2 - Ryan, your essay is interesting and informative. However, the middle part deviated from being a personal statement, to bordering...
Undergraduatewhitewalker - Nov 12, 2016 / Holt - Nov 12, 2016
|Looking back on how I handled that situation I should have acted differently - ethical dilemma essay
3 - In the first paragraph, you are running a bit short. I suggest you move up the second paragraph and...
Undergraduatecjtwhidbey - Nov 12, 2016 / Holt - Nov 12, 2016
|This my Literacy essay, my professor asked me to revise it to get a better grade..
2 - Ahhamad, it would be easier for us to review your essay if you had attached your professors comments. Then...
Undergraduateahammadchy - Nov 11, 2016 / Holt - Nov 11, 2016
|Colorado College - Supplemental Essay: Why do you want to attend?
3 - Chantal, could you revise the beginning of your essay a bit so that it doesn't sound so much like...
Undergraduatechantalkelly - Nov 11, 2016 / Holt - Nov 11, 2016
|An essay pertaining to why I would like to be a hokie (Virginia tech)
2 - Andrea, are your father and aunt legacy students from Virginia Tech? The only reason that you should be mentioning...
Undergraduatealovemarvel - Nov 10, 2016 / Holt - Nov 10, 2016
|A good fit for University Scholars program
UndergraduateAvornyo Bless - Nov 8, 2016 / Avornyo Bless - Nov 9, 2016
|A personal statement (within 300 words) explaining why you are interested in attending a UWC school
4 - Yeasir, you mentioned that you first heard about the UWC from your father. It would be beneficial to your...
Undergraduateyeasir - Nov 2, 2016 / Holt - Nov 8, 2016
|Asking organizations for funds - UC Essay Intended major, Need help on editing
3 - Rohan, we need to work on the presentation of your essay. Since you are discussing your intended major, you...
Undergraduaterohan_sohail - Nov 8, 2016 / Holt - Nov 8, 2016
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