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|'victim to creeping doubts' - SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCE
4 - I think this essay is good, but it seems as if you are just listing things about yourself. The...
Undergraduatejadore_lamode68 - Dec 31, 2011 / elephant1 - Jan 2, 2012
|'interested in Psychology, Biology and Sociology' Why is Duke the right fit?
Undergraduateekreal - Jan 2, 2012 / ekreal - Jan 2, 2012
|'Sociology and tutoring English and Korean' - CORNELL (COLLEGE OF ART&SCIENCE)
3 - enable me to to specialize will greatly benefit to my studies.-Consider saying something like "will greatly benefit the...
Undergraduatepjw7109 - Jan 1, 2012 / Kylemac - Jan 2, 2012
|(the city life / good impression / medical field) - Boston U Essays
7 - Hey anyone who answered on here please read my thread you really dont have to even read the essay...
Undergraduateblackjack11z - Jan 2, 2012 / Kylemac - Jan 2, 2012
|'an aspiring journalist' - Boston University - Diversity
Undergraduatezerw - Jan 2, 2012 / pjw7109 - Jan 2, 2012
|Supplement Essay on a Bad Decision. (I chose a bad haircut)
3 - I would be careful to mention "Seventeen Magazine" if you are going to, later, blame them for your mistake....
Undergraduatecrew12 - Jan 2, 2012 / angiepie - Jan 2, 2012
|My obsession with giraffes(UGA ESSAY)
Undergraduateangiepie - Jan 2, 2012 / angiepie - Jan 2, 2012
|'a plethora of raw materials' - northwestern supplement
2 - I describe myself as curious and I want a nurturing experience with mentors that encourage my interests and guide...
Undergraduatectranisaurus1 - Jan 2, 2012 / Kylemac - Jan 2, 2012
|Geography and Economics/Politics (UK Personal Statement)
NEW - I know it's long, but it would be great if someone could check for grammar. And if you have...
Undergraduateka19921 - Jan 2, 2012 / — -
|'encouraged to study sciences' - Cornell Supplement..CALS
Undergraduatehamzaobaid - Jan 2, 2012 / hamzaobaid - Jan 2, 2012
|'Brave New World and perfect society' - Common Application Topic of your choice
UndergraduateDavemedsci - Dec 29, 2011 / Davemedsci - Jan 2, 2012
|Cornell CAS Essay - My interest in International Affairs
6 - Ohh, yeah my college counsellor said the same. Thank you for reminding me! I'll get right on it. Oh...
UndergraduateShaLa28 - Jan 2, 2012 / ShaLa28 - Jan 2, 2012
|"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh," Panic's frantic scream echoed in the cavernous cave.
Undergraduatederemifri - Jan 1, 2012 / ZhoeK - Jan 2, 2012
|'I always wear a purple hat' - Johns hopkins supplement #2
19 - thank you so much Thomas, I already submitted the essay before I was this. It was due yesterday. Thanks...
Undergraduateomo5031 - Dec 30, 2011 / omo5031 - Jan 2, 2012
|'Reading is my guilty pleasure' - Upenn Introduce yourself
Undergraduateyusra12 - Dec 31, 2011 / DrunkLurker - Jan 2, 2012
|(Ironman / Music as a way of life) UIUC essays
2 - Ever since childhood...doesn't make sense so change it to something else other then that both the essays are very...
Undergraduateheyitzaustin - Jan 2, 2012 / fizz - Jan 2, 2012
|'not easy to find a major' - reasons for transferring and the objectives to achieve
4 - I think usually that would go onto the supplement essay, but I'm not too sure about it. You can...
UndergraduateWenjian Zhang - Dec 27, 2011 / kingkung - Jan 2, 2012
|BU Supplement - Roommate - Mulan, Field Report
4 - Thanks for all the comments/critiques! I can't decide if I want to keep this format or just go with...
Undergraduatealtang1 - Jan 2, 2012 / altang1 - Jan 2, 2012
|'determined to become a better swimmer' - Stanford -- What matters to you and why?
5 - yeah, your idea of what matters does not come till the very end. my question throughout the whole thing...
Undergraduatesaurabh93 - Jan 1, 2012 / gris_pereyra - Jan 2, 2012
|'I figure out the mechanics of any object' - STANFORD: roommate letter
2 - maybe try to cut down the description about astronomy and engineering. be more concise about your point.. your words...
Undergraduatenkcnatalee864 - Jan 2, 2012 / gris_pereyra - Jan 2, 2012
|Self-Fulfillment ---What matters to you and Why (which beginning is best?)
8 - This is a good essay but find a better link between running and socializing. And PLEASE help with my...
Undergraduategris_pereyra - Dec 26, 2011 / saurabh93 - Jan 2, 2012
|'Design and Steve Jobs' - Stanford What matters to you and why?
UndergraduateAbsoluteBliss - Jan 2, 2012 / AbsoluteBliss - Jan 2, 2012
|'Mexican culture' - Yale/ Harvard supplement
15 - Your first paragraph is pretty great, but this: "I recognized that one's identity can change in just mere seconds,...
Undergraduateluvicemocha - Dec 29, 2011 / AbsoluteBliss - Jan 2, 2012
|'youthful and critical college years' - Stanford Roommate
5 - I also agree that I can't see anything wrong with this! Honestly. I don't think you need to change...
Undergraduatesaurabh93 - Dec 31, 2011 / jacquelinetucci - Jan 2, 2012
|'double majoring in Astronomy and Economics' - CORNELL
3 - Squeeze this sentences, which are somewhat repetitious. I like the way you connect Cornell Prof. with your college choice,...
Undergraduateb00kw0rm2012 - Jan 1, 2012 / duckling - Jan 2, 2012
|Ryerson-Journalism Application Essay: Anderson Cooper's Coverage of Hurricane Katrina
3 - Thank you! Noted. The only thing is I need to stay within the "approximately 300" word limit and this...
Undergraduatejacquelinetucci - Jan 1, 2012 / jacquelinetucci - Jan 2, 2012
|Cornell essay (School of Industrial and Labor Relations)
Undergraduatechazzmil - Jan 1, 2012 / duckling - Jan 1, 2012
|'a convenience store in a small town' - Princeton - What did you do this summer
4 - Your essay is well written. I pointed out some grammatical issues above so keep those in mind. HOWEVER, I...
Undergraduatepringles - Jan 1, 2012 / TheLeader - Jan 1, 2012
|'desire and passion to learn about diverse cultures' Cornell intellectual interests
3 - The approach and context is very good, but talk more about how you plan to integrate what you have...
Undergraduatecastro17 - Jan 1, 2012 / saurabh93 - Jan 1, 2012
|'constantly keep improving myself' - Stanford - what matters to you?
2 - I would recommend using an anecdote since they help vividly illustrate how improving oneself truly matters to you. Good...
Undergraduateadkh14 - Jan 1, 2012 / saurabh93 - Jan 1, 2012
|'my horrid archenemy, Spanish' - Princeton - Voice Essay
Undergraduatepringles - Jan 1, 2012 / ekreal - Jan 1, 2012
|UChicago "Guess The Third Thing Essay"
3 - Thanks for the feedback! @alexxisx I used past tense because it happened in the past, while my conclusion...
Undergraduatezeeluvia - Jan 1, 2012 / zeeluvia - Jan 1, 2012
|'Friday of Anger' - stanford supplement what matters to you essay
Undergraduatem7md - Jan 1, 2012 / ericao2010 - Jan 1, 2012
|"Are you American too?" - UPenn Short
UndergraduateElsaG - Jan 1, 2012 / ElsaG - Jan 1, 2012
|'dialogue with amazing individuals' - NYU SUPPLEMENT
Undergraduatejadore_lamode68 - Jan 1, 2012 / jadore_lamode68 - Jan 1, 2012
|'doctor's hands perform miracles' - Stony Brook Med Supplement
3 - Therefore, it needs to be fast and agile. -> Therefore, they need to be fast and agile. After...
Undergraduatecalvinwang - Jan 1, 2012 / lifeisgoing1 - Jan 1, 2012
|'my place among poets' - University of Michigan- A Group You Belong To
Undergraduatesteph22222 - Jan 1, 2012 / rockbiter - Jan 1, 2012
|'the more he realized there had to be a God' Newton -historical influence
Undergraduate22kcox - Jan 1, 2012 / ericao2010 - Jan 1, 2012
|"Do it for the Fat Lady" - Stanford supplement- intellectual vitality
Undergraduatekryskripp - Jan 1, 2012 / yuanyuan3045 - Jan 1, 2012
|'one outrageous year together' - letter to futute roommate
5 - Okay I think this is perfect, if we could be roommates we would get along great. I'm going to...
Undergraduatekryskripp - Jan 1, 2012 / yuanyuan3045 - Jan 1, 2012
|'called on in my Theory of Knowledge (TOK)' - Stanford intellectual vitality
3 - Be more specific about how what you learned in TOK was important to you. Personally, I think TOK just...
Undergraduatemuznaa23 - Jan 1, 2012 / adkh14 - Jan 1, 2012
|' My mom always makes me feel loved' - topic of choice
Undergraduateheatherqwer - Jan 1, 2012 / steph22222 - Jan 1, 2012
|(taking a train / learning engineering) - Stanford Supplements
3 - for the second essay, you could also be more specific about how the skills can be applied to all...
Undergraduateshayshay3194 - Jan 1, 2012 / adkh14 - Jan 1, 2012
|The African American girl with a Spanish name who's in French Honor Society
6 - I think it is good. It certainly fits the prompt. Although I'm not sure what Stanford is looking for,...
UndergraduateCVP1993 - Dec 31, 2011 / inkraven - Jan 1, 2012
|'an affinity for solving problems' - Cornell Supplement Engineering
2 - I would defiantly say it is way too generic you don't mention any thing real Cornell-only. replace MIT or...
UndergraduateTaylor52594 - Jan 1, 2012 / Infinity - Jan 1, 2012
|'I want to study physics and astronomy' - common app topic of my choice
Undergraduaterajeeb - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|(Gospel choir / Post-It-Notes) COLUMBIA ESSAYS
3 - thanks for the cuts, really helped! REVISED: Please tell us what you found meaningful about one of the...
Undergraduatenkcnatalee864 - Jan 1, 2012 / nkcnatalee864 - Jan 1, 2012
|'dedicated to the study of dance' - Stanford Future roommate essay
7 - Your essay should demonstrate unique aspects about your personality, and right now it's not doing that so much. I...
Undergraduateheydeanna - Jan 1, 2012 / saurabh93 - Jan 1, 2012
|The Little Prince is more than my favorite book, it is an experience I treasure
NEW - Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual...
Undergraduateyuanyuan3045 - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'I want to be myself' - Common app essay - Topic of my choice
3 - Davemedsci thanks for the answer. I appreciate that I'll try to improve Guys please help it is...
UndergraduateChelo - Jan 1, 2012 / Chelo - Jan 1, 2012
|By dint forging does one become a Blacksmith
NEW - Prompt: "Rigorous reasoning is crucial in mathematics, and insight plays an important secondary role these days. In the natural...
UndergraduateItsokaytoGaga - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'I gained more freedom' - Johns Hopkins---Something about yourself
3 - Its great, shows youre independent and ready for college, which is probably not apparent in you other essays. cool!...
UndergraduateRiceAllTheWhey - Jan 1, 2012 / 22kcox - Jan 1, 2012
|'polyphasic sleep' - MIT Biggest challenge
Undergraduatederemifri - Dec 26, 2011 / RiceAllTheWhey - Jan 1, 2012
|'volunteering in the Cardiology Clinic' - COMMON APP SHORT
UndergraduateShereen - Dec 27, 2011 / pr3tinpink1 - Jan 1, 2012
|'unique approach to education' - Northwestern Essay
2 - Overall, I really like it. But have you thought of including some kind of a 'hook' in the beginning?...
UndergraduateInfinity - Jan 1, 2012 / pjw7109 - Jan 1, 2012
|'The Game' - JHU essay; Undecided
9 - I like the setting of the essay :) I understand what you're trying to say, but it's possible (just...
UndergraduateJHUDreamer - Jan 1, 2012 / fondue2012 - Jan 1, 2012
|'how diverse I actually am' - William and Mary supplemental
UndergraduateNicole11 - Dec 31, 2011 / Chelo - Jan 1, 2012
|'Characteristic Charisma' - Boston University Roommate Supplement
2 - I think you have good content, but the paragraphs are a little abrupt. I'm not sure what format BU...
Undergraduatequarterer - Jan 1, 2012 / fondue2012 - Jan 1, 2012
|'the Kimmel center' - WHY NYU? Supplement
8 - It's only in New York where one can find a Mexican, Indian, and Chinese cuisine on the same street....
UndergraduateiMapple94 - Dec 30, 2011 / jadore_lamode68 - Jan 1, 2012
|'passion for geography' - UPenn Long Essay
4 - I agree with edwkoc. I think you should change the beginning of the first paragraph. Maybe get rid of...
Undergraduateglj - Jan 1, 2012 / ElsaG - Jan 1, 2012
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