|Undergraduate [25,738] - page 185 of 429|
|"I am HIV positive" - Common App short
UndergraduateChelo - Jan 1, 2012 / pringles - Jan 1, 2012
|'I practice for the next football game' - commonapp short answer EC
2 - hey hello810! I assume this is the one about in 1000 characters your extra. c. or working experience....
Undergraduatehello810 - Jan 1, 2012 / tehfunkicookie - Jan 1, 2012
|'Moving away and going to college' - Stanford Roommate Letter
Undergraduatepringles - Dec 30, 2011 / Icandoeverythin - Jan 1, 2012
|'The orphanage that I volunteered at Nepal' - Short essay for common application
NEW - Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum)....
Undergraduateliang1207 - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'if it weren't for Grandma' - Influential person - Princeton Supplement
3 - Hi I like your language, and the content overall is good. But I have a few observations. Firstly ...
UndergraduateCollegeHopefuls - Dec 31, 2011 / lch920619x - Jan 1, 2012
|Between Living and Dreaming? Who knows? UChicago Essay!
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 31, 2011 / chipdip - Jan 1, 2012
|Common App - Extracurricular - School Board
UndergraduateInfinityQ - Dec 31, 2011 / Dilara1010 - Jan 1, 2012
|'society needs to focus its energy on the common good' Amherst and Bowdoin Supplement
5 - Essay is well written, but I think you should work on each essay separately. You should write a new...
Undergraduaterunswithhorses - Dec 31, 2011 / Chelo - Jan 1, 2012
|'the privilege of learning mathematics from my teacher ' - Making a difference Rice
4 - Hi, nice essay, I think the second paragraph is a bit off-topic though. Probably you shouldn't write so much...
Undergraduatemasterkid114 - Dec 31, 2011 / lch920619x - Jan 1, 2012
|'Science, math' Cornell - College of Arts and Science - Intellectual interests
NEW - It seems rough. But since I just started it when it comes near to deadline, so I couldn't come...
Undergraduatewarsovereign - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|"Stabilization" - Stanford supplement---what matters to you
4 - I like your ending! I don't think you should rewrite the entire essay; however I do suggest that you...
UndergraduateChihiroLavi - Dec 31, 2011 / winnie0603 - Jan 1, 2012
|'scientific concepts and my curiosities' - JHU essays
4 - I really enjoying reading it. There are lots of potential in your essays. Try to incorporate some stories....
Undergraduatelifeisgoing1 - Dec 31, 2011 / silentspring - Jan 1, 2012
|'Basketball and learning Arabic' - The last two summers - Princeton
5 - Your short essay is pretty impressive. I find I can hardly give your suggestion. Just one thing--"I was able...
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 31, 2011 / dualsuriel - Jan 1, 2012
|'Attitude' + 'Library' - UVA favorite word/favorite place too get lost
4 - I like your word choice in your first essay.. but your third essay seems more personal and creative. So...
Undergraduateweepdog - Dec 31, 2011 / lifeisgoing1 - Dec 31, 2011
|(SF comic / Proactive / Jazz / class) - Yale short responses
7 - About number 2, I just write another response. "Your insight and enthusiasm to the beauty is as sensitive as...
Undergraduatedualsuriel - Dec 31, 2011 / dualsuriel - Dec 31, 2011
|"one's personal legend is one's only true obligation" - Common App Essay
Undergraduateabck300 - Dec 31, 2011 / abck300 - Dec 31, 2011
|'Being gay was never a very big deal' - Common App Essay on Coming Out
Undergraduatejackwhite77 - Dec 31, 2011 / jackwhite77 - Dec 31, 2011
|'The boy without a name' - William and Mary supplement essay
UndergraduatePradodiana1 - Dec 30, 2011 / pinkcheetah - Dec 31, 2011
|Flight Simulator-Stanford Vitality Essay
4 - Hi Kingshuk. You've got a great shell for your essay, but lack smooth transitions. I've made some edits I...
Undergraduatedasadhikarik - Dec 31, 2011 / arbrelibre - Dec 31, 2011
|'The School Radio' - Extracurricular activities
Undergraduatephhai - Dec 30, 2011 / sg120 - Dec 31, 2011
|'my hiking trip at Philmont' - Common App Extracurricular
5 - Dilara: Thank you so much! I'm using staggering as a noun. Hope that clears that up. James: Thank...
Undergraduatedychung7 - Dec 31, 2011 / dychung7 - Dec 31, 2011
|'daydreaming about my Senior Night' - Short Response
3 - You might want to focus on what you do in track. What event do you run. Details would perhaps...
Undergraduateshayshay3194 - Dec 31, 2011 / JamezNeedsHelp - Dec 31, 2011
|'strong academics and multitude of resources' - Why Yale?
Undergraduateshayshay3194 - Dec 31, 2011 / Dilara1010 - Dec 31, 2011
|(Challenge / Math / Business school / MBA program) - Columbia short
2 - My favorite academic class isthat has been Math, because I love working with numbers. Math always gives youone a...
Undergraduatechazzmil - Dec 31, 2011 / Dilara1010 - Dec 31, 2011
|'a never ending line of risks I refused to take' What matters to you and why?
10 - I really enjoyed your essay. Connecting water to your life in this way is truly very creative and if...
Undergraduatetaboriginal - Dec 30, 2011 / pringles - Dec 31, 2011
|'I am a painter'- UPenn Supp't
5 - Hey Maria, would you mind looking over my Stanford Vitality Essay? It's titled Flight Simulator--not very confident on that...
Undergraduatearbrelibre - Dec 30, 2011 / dasadhikarik - Dec 31, 2011
|'military families and a private school' - Rice
Undergraduateohheyitstessa - Dec 31, 2011 / chazzmil - Dec 31, 2011
|'I see life' - Williams essay, looking through a window
Undergraduatechazzmil - Dec 31, 2011 / chazzmil - Dec 31, 2011
|'sophomore class presidents' - student government short answer common app
3 - which essay would you like me to look over? thank you for your input! ALL FEEDBACK IS WELCOME!...
Undergraduateimbluedaba1229 - Dec 31, 2011 / imbluedaba1229 - Dec 31, 2011
|'your optimism is sickeningly overwhelming' - Brown - A group that has shaped you
Undergraduatemdubs777 - Dec 31, 2011 / dychung7 - Dec 31, 2011
|'the local community garden' - CommonApp Extracurricular Activity
6 - I agree with the first poster. Maybe you could discuss how you've changed due to this experience with another...
Undergraduateinkraven - Dec 31, 2011 / imbluedaba1229 - Dec 31, 2011
|'rich and traditional physics department' - Why Yale?
Undergraduatesaujla - Dec 31, 2011 / jasononwenu - Dec 31, 2011
|Yale supp. essay- "'A woman's perfume tells more about her than her handwriting'"
Undergraduatepinkcheetah - Dec 31, 2011 / birdcages - Dec 31, 2011
|A hobo changed my poverty perspective. Brown ESsay
6 - Take a look at my edits above and let me know once you've revised it. I took some unnecessary...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 31, 2011 / TheLeader - Dec 31, 2011
|'Pennsylvania was where I wanted to spend my life' Lehigh Supplement Unique Aspect
Undergraduatemaryp630 - Dec 31, 2011 / stars93 - Dec 31, 2011
|(electrical cord / IB diploma / leaders / engineers) - Columbia Short
5 - I too have read the concept of the singularity and i think its awesome. I would talk more about...
Undergraduatedychung7 - Dec 31, 2011 / masterkid114 - Dec 31, 2011
|'the contemporary world through different lenses' - Why Columbia
Undergraduatesilentspring - Dec 31, 2011 / InfinityQ - Dec 31, 2011
|'overall entrepreneurial spirit' - Stanford -- Roommate prompt
3 - Overall, great job. Your essay shows a lot about yourself, and how you can easily get well with your...
Undergraduatejaybee - Dec 31, 2011 / TheLeader - Dec 31, 2011
|UVA (End in sight / Engineering project)
NEW - I am just looking for help to proofread and imporve! I will edit your essay in return! Describe...
UndergraduateJamezNeedsHelp - Dec 31, 2011 / — -
|"The Five People You Meet in Heaven" - Most Meaningful Book - Columbia
3 - I like what you say here, but I find it a little superficial. It strikes me as something that...
Undergraduateaakash988 - Dec 31, 2011 / pinkcheetah - Dec 31, 2011
|NYU Supplement- My experiences that have helped cultivate my interests, etc.
Undergraduateedwkoc - Dec 30, 2011 / Pradodiana1 - Dec 31, 2011
|'I am a library' - rough draft of Common App
5 - I love the idea there with the library but you need more details about you. The sixth paragraph is...
Undergraduateforeverarianaaa - Dec 31, 2011 / Jerlynn - Dec 31, 2011
|Bard Supplement - Barbarians Erupt from Civilization
Undergraduateamespeed - Dec 27, 2011 / DrunkLurker - Dec 31, 2011
|Common app essay (topic of choice: Making fudge).
Undergraduateglj - Dec 31, 2011 / glj - Dec 31, 2011
|'The New Artistic Medium' - Rice Supplement: My Unique Perspective
6 - I think you should add more about how Macalester can help you. Maybe tell more about its characteristics? I...
Undergraduatedoortothe - Oct 21, 2011 / sg120 - Dec 31, 2011
|Influence, Dreams, Work Experience, and Scholarship-Syracuse Supplement
2 - You did a great job correcting your essays especially the first and third one, you have definately answered the...
UndergraduateMalJack93 - Dec 30, 2011 / omo5031 - Dec 31, 2011
|'my clear sense of goal' - Personal attribute I'm proud of (MIT admission)
4 - amespeed Thank you for your response! :) I'm thinking of adding "Had I simply gone with the flow, I...
UndergraduateDrunkLurker - Dec 31, 2011 / DrunkLurker - Dec 31, 2011
|'Math kicked me off my pedestal' - Common App Essay
3 - The other two already touched base on all the nitpick errors and all, so I offer my two cents...
Undergraduateshayshay3194 - Dec 30, 2011 / InfinityQ - Dec 31, 2011
|'the family physician' - Favorite class essay
Undergraduatesilentspring - Dec 28, 2011 / ohheyitstessa - Dec 31, 2011
|'art, violin, gymnastics, yoga, and climbing' - U-Penn Supplement
2 - I like the end. You got really specific. Try to add in more specific things about U Penn. Also,...
Undergraduategparfenov - Dec 31, 2011 / edwkoc - Dec 31, 2011
|"Don't send me to America!": Evaluate a significant experience
Undergraduate4903abcd - Dec 28, 2011 / sunnisyoung - Dec 31, 2011
|'I want to be remembered' - NYU SUPS
UndergraduateCheesyCake - Dec 31, 2011 / wahmed - Dec 31, 2011
|'the active applause to the last song' - work of music that has surprised me?
3 - Is this for UVA? Anyways, I think this essay would be better for the Common App extracurricular. The introduction...
Undergraduateinspirit - Dec 31, 2011 / dychung7 - Dec 31, 2011
|'photo collages' - Stanford -- Intellectual Vitality Prompt
3 - The essay itself is well written but just a few comments. You say that after being successful in...
Undergraduatejaybee - Dec 31, 2011 / pringles - Dec 31, 2011
|'curious to learn about the history of my area' - MIt essay world you come from
Undergraduateahmad999 - Dec 31, 2011 / pringles - Dec 31, 2011
|Common App - Topic 1 - Becoming more openminded
4 - I like the ending/last paragraph. Overall, it's quite an easy read and it was easy to follow but that...
Undergraduatealtang1 - Dec 30, 2011 / mlayton - Dec 31, 2011
|Stanford supplement -- bungee jumping
6 - an interesting essay, and certainly very unique. I would suggest elaborating some more, because aside from your acrophobia and...
UndergraduateBillyIon - Dec 31, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 31, 2011
|'GUATEMALA' - UVA- COMMON APP EDITING HELP
2 - I didn't find anything that bothered me grammatically. The advice I have to offer is that since you...
Undergraduateanpeterj - Dec 31, 2011 / pinkcheetah - Dec 31, 2011
|'waiting for the hip-hop squad's turn' - JSU #2 about yourself or your interests
2 - Today is finally the day of Stuyvesant's Sing! production. I'm anxiously sitting on a bench waiting for our hip-hop...
Undergraduatekyu - Dec 31, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 31, 2011
|"Jesus loves me!" - YALE supplement
3 - I would change the structure of the last sentence in that section because it makes it seem as...
Undergraduateags012 - Dec 31, 2011 / pinkcheetah - Dec 31, 2011
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