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|I have a Mohawk---commonapp essay for upenn, princeton, amherst, rochester
14 - I agree with the first poster - the second conclusion is leagues better, imo. Also, I'm not really a...
Undergraduatemaroon5 - Dec 3, 2011 / birdcages - Jan 1, 2012
|(Get Reel on Climate Change / Achievability / Traveler) UBC for BSc -personal profile
3 - thank you so much for you help! It was very useful and certainly needed XD 1st Essay) representing...
Undergraduateashu8d - Dec 30, 2011 / ashu8d - Jan 1, 2012
|'world-class professors' - Skidmore Supplement
NEW - In brief, why do you feel that Skidmore is a good match for your academic and personal goals? ...
Undergraduatesilentspring - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|"Sadness"- Yale supplement
9 - Well,for starters you should probably cut out the part about the beer+anything else that makes you seem irresponsible. Maybe...
Undergraduatederemifri - Dec 31, 2011 / yusra12 - Jan 1, 2012
|My Name- Stanford What Matters Essay
3 - I really liked the beginning of your essay and your name has a really cool meaning. However, the last...
Undergraduatedasadhikarik - Jan 1, 2012 / daniel44992 - Jan 1, 2012
|Common App Essay ~ Marchin' On
Undergraduategoldenmachine12 - Dec 31, 2011 / divina - Jan 1, 2012
|Hobby & Department short essays (MIT admission)
5 - Maybe you need little stronger conclusion for the first one, "When it comes to choosing my major, there...
UndergraduateDrunkLurker - Dec 31, 2011 / deremifri - Jan 1, 2012
|'Teaching the 10th grade's Informatics team' - Extracurricular essay
3 - I enjoeyed reading your essay..it expresses how you love what you did. It makes a good impression However I...
Undergraduaterafanad - Dec 31, 2011 / Anxhela - Jan 1, 2012
|'The Chinese culture and Vietnamese Literature' - Stanford intellectual essay
NEW - Please skim through and give me your comments, and check the grammatical errors please I will return the favor...
Undergraduatephhai - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'slowing down due to the obstacles' - Experience that affected me- Rice
2 - I love your essay in general, the comparison of the moth with you is really good. I think that...
Undergraduatesg120 - Dec 31, 2011 / omo5031 - Jan 1, 2012
|Common App."Lost at the modern world"
NEW - common app prompt: a personal or rigional concern. Lost at the modern world I find out the world is...
UndergraduateROTS - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'Water Polo' - Extracurricular Activity
19 - Jesse I originally had that, but I deleted it because the word limit would not allow. But as...
UndergraduateZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Jan 1, 2012
|A Miracle Baby - Common App Essay
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 31, 2011 / mjkman0101 - Jan 1, 2012
|'my cute 8 month old younger sister' - something you do for the pleasure of it
3 - I don't think it answers the prompt.. You should talk about something you do for pleasure and spending your...
UndergraduateIcandoeverythin - Jan 1, 2012 / Anxhela - Jan 1, 2012
|(Golf course / Mickey Mouse) UVA Supplement & Engineering Essays
2 - Just a quick fix: "vigorously contemplated on what to watch" Otherwise, looking great. Good luck!...
Undergraduateilovemax112105 - Dec 31, 2011 / AbsoluteBliss - Jan 1, 2012
|'melted butter' + 'my current identity' + 'math' + 'possibilities' - SYRACUSE
2 - These are really great, actually. One small thing though, you might want to insert the word "negative," or something...
Undergraduatenkcnatalee864 - Dec 31, 2011 / AbsoluteBliss - Jan 1, 2012
|"I am HIV positive" - Common App short
UndergraduateChelo - Jan 1, 2012 / pringles - Jan 1, 2012
|'I practice for the next football game' - commonapp short answer EC
2 - hey hello810! I assume this is the one about in 1000 characters your extra. c. or working experience....
Undergraduatehello810 - Jan 1, 2012 / tehfunkicookie - Jan 1, 2012
|'Moving away and going to college' - Stanford Roommate Letter
Undergraduatepringles - Dec 30, 2011 / Icandoeverythin - Jan 1, 2012
|'The orphanage that I volunteered at Nepal' - Short essay for common application
NEW - Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum)....
Undergraduateliang1207 - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'if it weren't for Grandma' - Influential person - Princeton Supplement
3 - Hi I like your language, and the content overall is good. But I have a few observations. Firstly ...
UndergraduateCollegeHopefuls - Dec 31, 2011 / lch920619x - Jan 1, 2012
|Between Living and Dreaming? Who knows? UChicago Essay!
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 31, 2011 / chipdip - Jan 1, 2012
|Common App - Extracurricular - School Board
UndergraduateInfinityQ - Dec 31, 2011 / Dilara1010 - Jan 1, 2012
|'society needs to focus its energy on the common good' Amherst and Bowdoin Supplement
5 - Essay is well written, but I think you should work on each essay separately. You should write a new...
Undergraduaterunswithhorses - Dec 31, 2011 / Chelo - Jan 1, 2012
|'the privilege of learning mathematics from my teacher ' - Making a difference Rice
4 - Hi, nice essay, I think the second paragraph is a bit off-topic though. Probably you shouldn't write so much...
Undergraduatemasterkid114 - Dec 31, 2011 / lch920619x - Jan 1, 2012
|'Science, math' Cornell - College of Arts and Science - Intellectual interests
NEW - It seems rough. But since I just started it when it comes near to deadline, so I couldn't come...
Undergraduatewarsovereign - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|"Stabilization" - Stanford supplement---what matters to you
4 - I like your ending! I don't think you should rewrite the entire essay; however I do suggest that you...
UndergraduateChihiroLavi - Dec 31, 2011 / winnie0603 - Jan 1, 2012
|'scientific concepts and my curiosities' - JHU essays
4 - I really enjoying reading it. There are lots of potential in your essays. Try to incorporate some stories....
Undergraduatelifeisgoing1 - Dec 31, 2011 / silentspring - Jan 1, 2012
|'Basketball and learning Arabic' - The last two summers - Princeton
5 - Your short essay is pretty impressive. I find I can hardly give your suggestion. Just one thing--"I was able...
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 31, 2011 / dualsuriel - Jan 1, 2012
|'Attitude' + 'Library' - UVA favorite word/favorite place too get lost
4 - I like your word choice in your first essay.. but your third essay seems more personal and creative. So...
Undergraduateweepdog - Dec 31, 2011 / lifeisgoing1 - Dec 31, 2011
|(SF comic / Proactive / Jazz / class) - Yale short responses
7 - About number 2, I just write another response. "Your insight and enthusiasm to the beauty is as sensitive as...
Undergraduatedualsuriel - Dec 31, 2011 / dualsuriel - Dec 31, 2011
|"one's personal legend is one's only true obligation" - Common App Essay
Undergraduateabck300 - Dec 31, 2011 / abck300 - Dec 31, 2011
|'Being gay was never a very big deal' - Common App Essay on Coming Out
Undergraduatejackwhite77 - Dec 31, 2011 / jackwhite77 - Dec 31, 2011
|'The boy without a name' - William and Mary supplement essay
UndergraduatePradodiana1 - Dec 30, 2011 / pinkcheetah - Dec 31, 2011
|Flight Simulator-Stanford Vitality Essay
4 - Hi Kingshuk. You've got a great shell for your essay, but lack smooth transitions. I've made some edits I...
Undergraduatedasadhikarik - Dec 31, 2011 / arbrelibre - Dec 31, 2011
|'The School Radio' - Extracurricular activities
Undergraduatephhai - Dec 30, 2011 / sg120 - Dec 31, 2011
|'my hiking trip at Philmont' - Common App Extracurricular
5 - Dilara: Thank you so much! I'm using staggering as a noun. Hope that clears that up. James: Thank...
Undergraduatedychung7 - Dec 31, 2011 / dychung7 - Dec 31, 2011
|'daydreaming about my Senior Night' - Short Response
3 - You might want to focus on what you do in track. What event do you run. Details would perhaps...
Undergraduateshayshay3194 - Dec 31, 2011 / JamezNeedsHelp - Dec 31, 2011
|'strong academics and multitude of resources' - Why Yale?
Undergraduateshayshay3194 - Dec 31, 2011 / Dilara1010 - Dec 31, 2011
|(Challenge / Math / Business school / MBA program) - Columbia short
2 - My favorite academic class isthat has been Math, because I love working with numbers. Math always gives youone a...
Undergraduatechazzmil - Dec 31, 2011 / Dilara1010 - Dec 31, 2011
|'a never ending line of risks I refused to take' What matters to you and why?
10 - I really enjoyed your essay. Connecting water to your life in this way is truly very creative and if...
Undergraduatetaboriginal - Dec 30, 2011 / pringles - Dec 31, 2011
|'I am a painter'- UPenn Supp't
5 - Hey Maria, would you mind looking over my Stanford Vitality Essay? It's titled Flight Simulator--not very confident on that...
Undergraduatearbrelibre - Dec 30, 2011 / dasadhikarik - Dec 31, 2011
|'military families and a private school' - Rice
Undergraduateohheyitstessa - Dec 31, 2011 / chazzmil - Dec 31, 2011
|'I see life' - Williams essay, looking through a window
Undergraduatechazzmil - Dec 31, 2011 / chazzmil - Dec 31, 2011
|'sophomore class presidents' - student government short answer common app
3 - which essay would you like me to look over? thank you for your input! ALL FEEDBACK IS WELCOME!...
Undergraduateimbluedaba1229 - Dec 31, 2011 / imbluedaba1229 - Dec 31, 2011
|'your optimism is sickeningly overwhelming' - Brown - A group that has shaped you
Undergraduatemdubs777 - Dec 31, 2011 / dychung7 - Dec 31, 2011
|'the local community garden' - CommonApp Extracurricular Activity
6 - I agree with the first poster. Maybe you could discuss how you've changed due to this experience with another...
Undergraduateinkraven - Dec 31, 2011 / imbluedaba1229 - Dec 31, 2011
|'rich and traditional physics department' - Why Yale?
Undergraduatesaujla - Dec 31, 2011 / jasononwenu - Dec 31, 2011
|Yale supp. essay- "'A woman's perfume tells more about her than her handwriting'"
Undergraduatepinkcheetah - Dec 31, 2011 / birdcages - Dec 31, 2011
|A hobo changed my poverty perspective. Brown ESsay
6 - Take a look at my edits above and let me know once you've revised it. I took some unnecessary...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 31, 2011 / TheLeader - Dec 31, 2011
|'Pennsylvania was where I wanted to spend my life' Lehigh Supplement Unique Aspect
Undergraduatemaryp630 - Dec 31, 2011 / stars93 - Dec 31, 2011
|(electrical cord / IB diploma / leaders / engineers) - Columbia Short
5 - I too have read the concept of the singularity and i think its awesome. I would talk more about...
Undergraduatedychung7 - Dec 31, 2011 / masterkid114 - Dec 31, 2011
|'the contemporary world through different lenses' - Why Columbia
Undergraduatesilentspring - Dec 31, 2011 / InfinityQ - Dec 31, 2011
|'overall entrepreneurial spirit' - Stanford -- Roommate prompt
3 - Overall, great job. Your essay shows a lot about yourself, and how you can easily get well with your...
Undergraduatejaybee - Dec 31, 2011 / TheLeader - Dec 31, 2011
|UVA (End in sight / Engineering project)
NEW - I am just looking for help to proofread and imporve! I will edit your essay in return! Describe...
UndergraduateJamezNeedsHelp - Dec 31, 2011 / — -
|"The Five People You Meet in Heaven" - Most Meaningful Book - Columbia
3 - I like what you say here, but I find it a little superficial. It strikes me as something that...
Undergraduateaakash988 - Dec 31, 2011 / pinkcheetah - Dec 31, 2011
|NYU Supplement- My experiences that have helped cultivate my interests, etc.
Undergraduateedwkoc - Dec 30, 2011 / Pradodiana1 - Dec 31, 2011
|'I am a library' - rough draft of Common App
5 - I love the idea there with the library but you need more details about you. The sixth paragraph is...
Undergraduateforeverarianaaa - Dec 31, 2011 / Jerlynn - Dec 31, 2011
|Bard Supplement - Barbarians Erupt from Civilization
Undergraduateamespeed - Dec 27, 2011 / DrunkLurker - Dec 31, 2011
|Common app essay (topic of choice: Making fudge).
Undergraduateglj - Dec 31, 2011 / glj - Dec 31, 2011
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