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|'Indoor Plumbing' - Stanford: What matters to you?
NEW - As I wiped down the porcelain bowl (a chore I'm sure no other than my mom would delegate), I...
Undergraduateyuanyuan3045 - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'to participate in learning outside of the classroom' - UPenn supplement
NEW - Hey everyone if you could read this and post your comments I'd greatly appreciate it! Be harsh; i can...
UndergraduateTiffanyj - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'Medical care and worldwide concerns' - COMMON APP
Undergraduatelifeisgoing1 - Jan 1, 2012 / cordyceps - Jan 1, 2012
|"Trust in the Lord with all your heart" - Princeton essay
4 - weasel my way through This essay is really really really strong, but is there any way you can...
Undergraduateangelserenite - Jan 1, 2012 / edwkoc - Jan 1, 2012
|'my dad continued to pour his information on me' - Common App
Undergraduatepringles - Jan 1, 2012 / amon2006 - Jan 1, 2012
|'I have always wanted to be a doctor' - extracurricular activities or work experience
UndergraduateDilara1010 - Dec 30, 2011 / Dilara1010 - Jan 1, 2012
|'karaoke rooms' - UVA favorite place to get lost
NEW - Discuss Your Favorite Place To Get Lost "To find some beautiful place to get lost--Well, I don't know where...
Undergraduatetkshin - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'I did not stop at French and Spanish' - NYU Supplement Essay - Area of Interest
Undergraduatericka123 - Jan 1, 2012 / ricka123 - Jan 1, 2012
|'The President of the Hip-Hop Club' - CommonApp Extracurricular - Newspaper
9 - It's a good essay. However, I think that you should cut down on the intro and highlight some positive...
Undergraduatebirdcages - Jan 1, 2012 / TGIDP - Jan 1, 2012
|'The game of golf' - Common App
UndergraduateappliCAN - Dec 31, 2011 / appliCAN - Jan 1, 2012
|(Why NYU?) - City in a snow globe
6 - Thank you everyone, for your suggestions! I plan to submit my paper later on today, your essays should be...
Undergraduatecatty121 - Jan 1, 2012 / catty121 - Jan 1, 2012
|'southern peasant with city dreams' - Why NYU?
UndergraduateAppleman34 - Jan 1, 2012 / jadore_lamode68 - Jan 1, 2012
|(librarian, dilapidated classroom, an addict) - NYU Supplements
Undergraduateashatan - Dec 31, 2011 / 22kcox - Jan 1, 2012
|'India, a world eight thousand miles away' - My World - MIT Essay
5 - I think its great! I couldn't find anything wrong with it. Thanks for taking a look at my essay!...
Undergraduatenkprasad12 - Jan 1, 2012 / insanesoul81994 - Jan 1, 2012
|Stanford Roommate Essay - My Life in Statistics
6 - wow! i really enjoyed this! statistics make it really interesting, just i don't know about the numbering format... i...
UndergraduateJasu - Dec 30, 2011 / 22kcox - Jan 1, 2012
|'Doctor Who and the life of a typical Asian' - Common App character in fiction
NEW - My friend told me it was too much about the fictional character and that i should focus more on...
Undergraduatexbloodystarx - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'a sense of love and existence' - Stanford what is worth to me
3 - "all the emotions, all the feelings " repetitiveness your answer is unclear...is the selection process what matters most or...
Undergraduatephhai - Jan 1, 2012 / 22kcox - Jan 1, 2012
|'Not going to keep playing violin anymore' - U-Penn
10 - Very well written. Defiantly showed not told, which many admissions officers look for. I honestly can't think of anything...
Undergraduategparfenov - Dec 31, 2011 / jadore_lamode68 - Jan 1, 2012
|"I can't believe I'm actually doing this" - extracurricular activity
UndergraduateMauru23 - Dec 31, 2011 / Mauru23 - Jan 1, 2012
|'The Magic in Psychology' - Stanford Intellectual Vitality
7 - Would the essay lose that much without the second paragraph? I think there would still be a smooth transition...
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 31, 2011 / nkprasad12 - Jan 1, 2012
|'my physics class' - Stanford admission (What matters to you and why?)
3 - Hmm, you're right. I do have plenty of characters left...I didn't really realize it xD Thank you ^.^...
UndergraduateLadyloki - Jan 1, 2012 / Ladyloki - Jan 1, 2012
|'being environmental friendly' - St. John personal statement essay
Undergraduateawesomemo - Dec 28, 2011 / awesomemo - Jan 1, 2012
|'What is home' - Bowdoin - Connection to place
UndergraduateItsokaytoGaga - Jan 1, 2012 / glj - Jan 1, 2012
|Chicken Tikka Masala- U Penn supplement (optional)
2 - First, you have impeccable taste in food. "I have definitely developed a willingness to experience new cuisines and...
Undergraduatewapogod - Jan 1, 2012 / nkprasad12 - Jan 1, 2012
|'many backgrounds and minds' - Why Columbia Essay
Undergraduateujax - Dec 29, 2011 / nodumblonde1616 - Jan 1, 2012
|'affordable tuition and fees' - VTech personal statement
3 - it is well organized, however, not very distinctive I think. I don't think speaking of low tuition would be...
UndergraduatePrspectivStudnt - Dec 31, 2011 / phhai - Jan 1, 2012
|'Studying in India' - PENN - Unique Aspects and contribution
NEW - Required for all applicants: Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects...
Undergraduatesaujla - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|MIT short essays: challenge and attribute
6 - You sound pretty braggy in your first essay. I would also try to make it less choppy. I would...
Undergraduatelch920619x - Jan 1, 2012 / nkprasad12 - Jan 1, 2012
|'want to see life worth living' - Stanford What matters to you and why?
Undergraduatepringles - Jan 1, 2012 / pringles - Jan 1, 2012
|'Human' - Stanford - What Matters to You and Why?
7 - Very interesting topic! I like changing the gazelle into "a lion after its prey" if your going for aggressive,...
UndergraduateInfinityQ - Dec 31, 2011 / 22kcox - Jan 1, 2012
|'Swimming' - Common App - Extracurricular activity response
8 - You need to talk about your self more and and less about Phelps. It's unnecessary for example to mention...
Undergraduatealtang1 - Dec 31, 2011 / ashu8d - Jan 1, 2012
|I have a Mohawk---commonapp essay for upenn, princeton, amherst, rochester
14 - I agree with the first poster - the second conclusion is leagues better, imo. Also, I'm not really a...
Undergraduatemaroon5 - Dec 3, 2011 / birdcages - Jan 1, 2012
|(Get Reel on Climate Change / Achievability / Traveler) UBC for BSc -personal profile
3 - thank you so much for you help! It was very useful and certainly needed XD 1st Essay) representing...
Undergraduateashu8d - Dec 30, 2011 / ashu8d - Jan 1, 2012
|'world-class professors' - Skidmore Supplement
NEW - In brief, why do you feel that Skidmore is a good match for your academic and personal goals? ...
Undergraduatesilentspring - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|"Sadness"- Yale supplement
9 - Well,for starters you should probably cut out the part about the beer+anything else that makes you seem irresponsible. Maybe...
Undergraduatederemifri - Dec 31, 2011 / yusra12 - Jan 1, 2012
|My Name- Stanford What Matters Essay
3 - I really liked the beginning of your essay and your name has a really cool meaning. However, the last...
Undergraduatedasadhikarik - Jan 1, 2012 / daniel44992 - Jan 1, 2012
|Common App Essay ~ Marchin' On
Undergraduategoldenmachine12 - Dec 31, 2011 / divina - Jan 1, 2012
|Hobby & Department short essays (MIT admission)
5 - Maybe you need little stronger conclusion for the first one, "When it comes to choosing my major, there...
UndergraduateDrunkLurker - Dec 31, 2011 / deremifri - Jan 1, 2012
|'Teaching the 10th grade's Informatics team' - Extracurricular essay
3 - I enjoeyed reading your essay..it expresses how you love what you did. It makes a good impression However I...
Undergraduaterafanad - Dec 31, 2011 / Anxhela - Jan 1, 2012
|'The Chinese culture and Vietnamese Literature' - Stanford intellectual essay
NEW - Please skim through and give me your comments, and check the grammatical errors please I will return the favor...
Undergraduatephhai - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'slowing down due to the obstacles' - Experience that affected me- Rice
2 - I love your essay in general, the comparison of the moth with you is really good. I think that...
Undergraduatesg120 - Dec 31, 2011 / omo5031 - Jan 1, 2012
|Common App."Lost at the modern world"
NEW - common app prompt: a personal or rigional concern. Lost at the modern world I find out the world is...
UndergraduateROTS - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'Water Polo' - Extracurricular Activity
19 - Jesse I originally had that, but I deleted it because the word limit would not allow. But as...
UndergraduateZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Jan 1, 2012
|A Miracle Baby - Common App Essay
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 31, 2011 / mjkman0101 - Jan 1, 2012
|'my cute 8 month old younger sister' - something you do for the pleasure of it
3 - I don't think it answers the prompt.. You should talk about something you do for pleasure and spending your...
UndergraduateIcandoeverythin - Jan 1, 2012 / Anxhela - Jan 1, 2012
|(Golf course / Mickey Mouse) UVA Supplement & Engineering Essays
2 - Just a quick fix: "vigorously contemplated on what to watch" Otherwise, looking great. Good luck!...
Undergraduateilovemax112105 - Dec 31, 2011 / AbsoluteBliss - Jan 1, 2012
|'melted butter' + 'my current identity' + 'math' + 'possibilities' - SYRACUSE
2 - These are really great, actually. One small thing though, you might want to insert the word "negative," or something...
Undergraduatenkcnatalee864 - Dec 31, 2011 / AbsoluteBliss - Jan 1, 2012
|"I am HIV positive" - Common App short
UndergraduateChelo - Jan 1, 2012 / pringles - Jan 1, 2012
|'I practice for the next football game' - commonapp short answer EC
2 - hey hello810! I assume this is the one about in 1000 characters your extra. c. or working experience....
Undergraduatehello810 - Jan 1, 2012 / tehfunkicookie - Jan 1, 2012
|'Moving away and going to college' - Stanford Roommate Letter
Undergraduatepringles - Dec 30, 2011 / Icandoeverythin - Jan 1, 2012
|'The orphanage that I volunteered at Nepal' - Short essay for common application
NEW - Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum)....
Undergraduateliang1207 - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|'if it weren't for Grandma' - Influential person - Princeton Supplement
3 - Hi I like your language, and the content overall is good. But I have a few observations. Firstly ...
UndergraduateCollegeHopefuls - Dec 31, 2011 / lch920619x - Jan 1, 2012
|Between Living and Dreaming? Who knows? UChicago Essay!
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 31, 2011 / chipdip - Jan 1, 2012
|Common App - Extracurricular - School Board
UndergraduateInfinityQ - Dec 31, 2011 / Dilara1010 - Jan 1, 2012
|'society needs to focus its energy on the common good' Amherst and Bowdoin Supplement
5 - Essay is well written, but I think you should work on each essay separately. You should write a new...
Undergraduaterunswithhorses - Dec 31, 2011 / Chelo - Jan 1, 2012
|'the privilege of learning mathematics from my teacher ' - Making a difference Rice
4 - Hi, nice essay, I think the second paragraph is a bit off-topic though. Probably you shouldn't write so much...
Undergraduatemasterkid114 - Dec 31, 2011 / lch920619x - Jan 1, 2012
|'Science, math' Cornell - College of Arts and Science - Intellectual interests
NEW - It seems rough. But since I just started it when it comes near to deadline, so I couldn't come...
Undergraduatewarsovereign - Jan 1, 2012 / — -
|"Stabilization" - Stanford supplement---what matters to you
4 - I like your ending! I don't think you should rewrite the entire essay; however I do suggest that you...
UndergraduateChihiroLavi - Dec 31, 2011 / winnie0603 - Jan 1, 2012
|'scientific concepts and my curiosities' - JHU essays
4 - I really enjoying reading it. There are lots of potential in your essays. Try to incorporate some stories....
Undergraduatelifeisgoing1 - Dec 31, 2011 / silentspring - Jan 1, 2012
|'Basketball and learning Arabic' - The last two summers - Princeton
5 - Your short essay is pretty impressive. I find I can hardly give your suggestion. Just one thing--"I was able...
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 31, 2011 / dualsuriel - Jan 1, 2012
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