|Undergraduate [25,740] - page 187 of 430|
|'infatuated with life' - Stanford Intellectual Vitality
5 - "of the existence of life", perhaps? You might want to replace the word "existence", but I cannot think...
Undergraduatemaianh94 - Dec 30, 2011 / DrunkLurker - Dec 31, 2011
|'The Biology program' - NYU Supplement
6 - I agree that the word biology is used way too often. Try minimizing the times you use it since...
Undergraduatemaryp630 - Dec 31, 2011 / ChavCool93 - Dec 31, 2011
|'Meditation is my daily routine' - Common App EC short answer - Meditation
3 - "Immediately after the beginning my breathing calms down" (sounds strange) "I listen to my inner voice, getting acquainted with...
Undergraduatedivina - Dec 31, 2011 / goldenmachine12 - Dec 31, 2011
|'the endless opportunities' - WHY NYU?
4 - Oh, I just saw your second essay. What you can do here is mention your hobbies and non-academic...
Undergraduatemaryp630 - Dec 31, 2011 / ershad193 - Dec 31, 2011
|Kenyon Supplement..Doing a work which you couldnt accomplish alone..
Undergraduatesuper57 - Dec 31, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 31, 2011
|Earth Process of evolution - Stanford Intellectual Vitality
UndergraduateappliCAN - Dec 31, 2011 / metalstriker - Dec 31, 2011
|The Road book - Columbia essay (write about a book that is meaningful)
18 - What about ? The book not only intrigues me because our close connection, but also because of its unconventional...
Undergraduatesilentspring - Dec 24, 2011 / silentspring - Dec 31, 2011
|'India - my roots and history' - YALE SUPPLEMENT # 2
Undergraduateprincy1122 - Dec 31, 2011 / princy1122 - Dec 31, 2011
|'Stickers for Smiles' - Common App Extracurricular.. Shadowing A Doctor
12 - I really enjoyed how you show rather then tell.. The end losts a bit..You use too many I's in...
Undergraduatetheoneandonly - Dec 31, 2011 / Anxhela - Dec 31, 2011
|'Side eye glances. Concerned looks'; Why Engineering - Columbia University
2 - I think it starts off great...but looses a bit of gusto towards the end.Try to make it more personal...idk...
Undergraduateshayshay3194 - Dec 31, 2011 / jadore_lamode68 - Dec 31, 2011
|'want my hair back' - Johns Hopkins Supplement
UndergraduateBKBKBK - Dec 31, 2011 / BKBKBK - Dec 31, 2011
|'knowledge of human nature' - Johns Hopkins Supplement
3 - I think overall is a good essay and the beginning is great. When I strated reading I wanted to...
Undergraduategparfenov - Dec 31, 2011 / Anxhela - Dec 31, 2011
|'Illness with no cure' - Yale supplement: is this Yale quality?
UndergraduateEnder1317 - Dec 31, 2011 / Musicforleisure - Dec 31, 2011
|'I attempted to start a conversation' - common app essay
4 - Amazing essay. Although the beginning could be a little better in the description that rest of the essay has....
UndergraduatePradodiana1 - Dec 31, 2011 / jadore_lamode68 - Dec 31, 2011
|"Orange Candy Cravings formed my Destiny" personal essay
Undergraduatesauravzhere - Dec 31, 2011 / Ender1317 - Dec 31, 2011
|'jeans and T-shirts' - Common App EC short answer - Summer Service Project
4 - I'm taken to a large classroom, where I find outdiscover I'll be sharing my sleeping space with twenty other...
Undergraduatenikariotz - Dec 31, 2011 / sparkle225 - Dec 31, 2011
|'every side of the fence' - NYU, What Intrigues you?
Undergraduatejadore_lamode68 - Dec 31, 2011 / shayshay3194 - Dec 31, 2011
|Fate of a responsible man. - common app essay
Undergraduatefilemonster - Dec 22, 2011 / jadore_lamode68 - Dec 31, 2011
|'social activist and servant'; What I would take from and contribute to Penn
9 - Your essay is really good, I like how you talked about your love for biology. It also answers the...
Undergraduatemdubs777 - Dec 30, 2011 / omo5031 - Dec 31, 2011
|COMMON APP EXTRACURRICULAR ESSAY; MY LOVE FOR BIOLOGY
Undergraduatejadore_lamode68 - Dec 31, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 31, 2011
|NYU Supplement- What intrigues you? Kenyan People
5 - It only took one walk through Nairobi, Kenya, to steal my heart, but five months later I was still...
Undergraduatejessie_hamilton - Dec 29, 2011 / iMapple94 - Dec 31, 2011
|'Dancers are the luckiest people' - NYU Supplement- What intrigues you?
Undergraduateedwkoc - Dec 31, 2011 / jadore_lamode68 - Dec 31, 2011
|I love to be physically involved in creating creative projects; Kinesthetic - Yale
6 - I like the idea you are trying to convey, its pretty unique since most people are visual/auditory. I didn't...
UndergraduateStrawberry78 - Dec 28, 2011 / omo5031 - Dec 31, 2011
|Falling into cold water - common app essay - significant experience
5 - It is overall a good essay, good content talking about how "changing of environment" improve your life. However, I...
Undergraduateka19921 - Nov 26, 2011 / 4151yhh - Dec 31, 2011
|Project Excite/Pizza/Flag Day - 3 very short community service descriptions
7 - I have always preferred to avoid contractions when writing essays... I've -> I have, and so forth. Is the...
Undergraduateckpckp1994 - Nov 12, 2011 / lifeisgoing1 - Dec 31, 2011
|'A World Cup quarterfinal match' - NYU - What Intrigues You?
6 - I didn't make mine personal either so I'm in a similar boat as you...but if you think about it,...
Undergraduatericka123 - Dec 30, 2011 / ibeckki - Dec 31, 2011
|'equilibrium between education and pleasure' - Why Northwestern?
Undergraduatelifeisgoing1 - Dec 31, 2011 / lifeisgoing1 - Dec 31, 2011
|Lehigh supplements; non-curable disease called "supply chain-itis"
3 - I 100% did not I copy your essay or ideas for your essay's, these are my original thoughts. I...
UndergraduateHEast22 - Dec 30, 2011 / HEast22 - Dec 31, 2011
|'my brief nap abruptly comes to an end' - Yale supplemental essay
18 - Maybe get rid of the stuff where you talk about yourself being a puppet? I feel like it detracts...
UndergraduateBigBoob15 - Dec 27, 2011 / nodumblonde1616 - Dec 31, 2011
|UChicago Extended Essay - "Coffeenomics"
NEW - Ok, so here is my extended essay for undergrad admissions to UChicago. Do y'all think this is what they...
Undergraduatecarter93chen - Dec 31, 2011 / — -
|'life on the computer and on the Internet' - Weird UPenn Essay
4 - Wow! I like the way you put it. It's very compelling. One silly suggestion, (I know they have this...
Undergraduatejasononwenu - Dec 30, 2011 / ckpckp1994 - Dec 31, 2011
|Common App Main Essay (Vanilla)
2 - I'm a politically correct, cliché speaking, assimilating, self assimilating, self-deprecating, Camry-driving, and-if I'm feeling frisky-semi-colon using individual.---I like this...
UndergraduateJackyt - Dec 31, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 31, 2011
|"hún xuč" - Contributional Perspective on Diversity (Rice University)
2 - ...a little girl walking the busy streets of Taipei with those looks was not something you would see every...
Undergraduatejaybee - Dec 31, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 31, 2011
|'My father, a consulting engineer' - Stanford Univ. Roommate Essay HELP
5 - Hi! A very well-written essay! I like the first part very much. However, I would suggest you to consider...
Undergraduatefishie21 - Dec 30, 2011 / Musicforleisure - Dec 31, 2011
|'the best undergraduate biology programs' - Cornell Supplement
Undergraduatesoshifan - Dec 30, 2011 / soshifan - Dec 31, 2011
|My new hobby is to explore and photograph my city and surrounding areas - Pratt Architecture Essay
2 - Born and raised in Turkey until the age of six, I've always had a peculiar fascination for architecture. ...
Undergraduateyersayin - Dec 30, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 31, 2011
|'the Irish bagpipes music' - Common application EC:: Saint Patrick's Day Celebrati
2 - So based on this, I would've never guessed you were an international student. This is very well written, and...
Undergraduatelzhd1028 - Dec 31, 2011 / nikariotz - Dec 31, 2011
|'coming to a different country' - Rice University Suppliment-culture and unique experience
Undergraduate4151yhh - Dec 31, 2011 / ka19921 - Dec 31, 2011
|'Learning languages is a hobby' - Common App Extracurricular
9 - I honestly don't think you have to change it at all. This answers the question - it elaborates on...
Undergraduatevelvetblossom - Dec 30, 2011 / nikariotz - Dec 31, 2011
|A Sons Hero, UCF Essay - My family constructed me who I am today
Undergraduatekenben12 - Dec 30, 2011 / kenben12 - Dec 31, 2011
|'algebra II and trigonometry' - Common app- Elaborate on an activity
26 - I don't know if I'm too late, but I really liked the final revision, especially the concluding sentence -...
Undergraduatesilentspring - Dec 25, 2011 / nikariotz - Dec 31, 2011
|Common App essay- Topic "We do not have the right to remain silent"
2 - I would reword this sentence; it's entirely too long and it could benefit from some compressing. ...
Undergraduateqandeeltariq - Dec 31, 2011 / velvetblossom - Dec 31, 2011
|'My favorite color is blue, I like dogs' - Stanford Supplement: Roomate Letter
9 - 2011college2011 It may be logical, though, since one would probably want to tell a lot without knowing where to...
Undergraduateerndawg - Dec 28, 2011 / DrunkLurker - Dec 31, 2011
|'how i was discriminated against on' - Georgia Tech
Undergraduatejava4u - Dec 14, 2011 / CollegeHopefuls - Dec 31, 2011
|Commonapp- Picking My Eyebrows
Undergraduatekarissa_a16 - Dec 30, 2011 / Musicforleisure - Dec 31, 2011
|'German shepherd' - Amherst supplement essay- difficulties
UndergraduateAnxhela - Dec 29, 2011 / Musicforleisure - Dec 31, 2011
|'Curling' - Extracurricular Common App
6 - I don't mind it at all. It seems like someothing that many people would write, and for that i...
Undergraduatejecc_ - Dec 27, 2011 / goldenmachine12 - Dec 31, 2011
|'Travel or living experiences in other countries ' - Harvard optional essay
10 - great essay :)...
Undergraduatewilsy - Nov 26, 2011 / rahilsavani - Dec 31, 2011
|Stanford Roommate - Why are there cats on everything you own?!
10 - Honestly this is great. The voice is clear. The all caps are well done. And it's succinct without being...
Undergraduateforeverarianaaa - Dec 30, 2011 / Jackyt - Dec 31, 2011
|Stanford Undergrad Admissions - What matters to you and why? -- Trusting myself
Undergraduatejaybee - Dec 29, 2011 / 2011college2011 - Dec 31, 2011
|Something important that didn't go according to plan (MIT admission essay) - feedback
3 - 1) But how to rephrase it? Would "...and they took her off my back..." work? 2) The group consisted...
UndergraduateDrunkLurker - Dec 30, 2011 / DrunkLurker - Dec 31, 2011
|'experiences at the orphanage' - Common App Extracurricular
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 31, 2011 / BigBoob15 - Dec 31, 2011
|University of Illinois at Urbana - Champaign Essays; influences / about yourself
Undergraduatedychung7 - Dec 30, 2011 / bluedevilzn - Dec 31, 2011
|Thomas Sowell Reader - Columbia Supplement - 3 short essays
6 - They are all good, although some polishing is still necessary. The first one is a bit risky, and the...
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 30, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 31, 2011
|Brown; community's impact - My family has shaped me into an adventurous eater
2 - I would advice you to change the topic. You could still write an informal topic, maybe a Vietnamese tradition/origins/purpose...
Undergraduatechickenlittle - Dec 30, 2011 / bluedevilzn - Dec 31, 2011
|Completed Personal Statement; "Will we survive the preliminary round?"
UndergraduateBigBoob15 - Dec 31, 2011 / BigBoob15 - Dec 31, 2011
|Stanford Supplement: Intellectual Development "Look over these packets"
Undergraduateangelserenite - Dec 30, 2011 / pringles - Dec 31, 2011
|Rice University - contributional perspective about diversity
3 - "others realize what I do about diversity..." If I were you, I would delete the ...'s in front of...
Undergraduatejaybee - Dec 30, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 31, 2011
|'Computer studies and Homecoming Parade' - Northwestern University Supplement
Undergraduatedmjackson - Dec 30, 2011 / theoneandonly - Dec 31, 2011
|'gather left-over cups and fast food wrappers' - Extracurricular Activity
UndergraduateMDes - Dec 30, 2011 / MDes - Dec 31, 2011
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