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|'the Irish bagpipes music' - Common application EC:: Saint Patrick's Day Celebrati
2 - So based on this, I would've never guessed you were an international student. This is very well written, and...
Undergraduatelzhd1028 - Dec 31, 2011 / nikariotz - Dec 31, 2011
|'coming to a different country' - Rice University Suppliment-culture and unique experience
Undergraduate4151yhh - Dec 31, 2011 / ka19921 - Dec 31, 2011
|'Learning languages is a hobby' - Common App Extracurricular
9 - I honestly don't think you have to change it at all. This answers the question - it elaborates on...
Undergraduatevelvetblossom - Dec 30, 2011 / nikariotz - Dec 31, 2011
|A Sons Hero, UCF Essay - My family constructed me who I am today
Undergraduatekenben12 - Dec 30, 2011 / kenben12 - Dec 31, 2011
|'algebra II and trigonometry' - Common app- Elaborate on an activity
25 - I don't know if I'm too late, but I really liked the final revision, especially the concluding sentence -...
Undergraduatesilentspring - Dec 25, 2011 / nikariotz - Dec 31, 2011
|Common App essay- Topic "We do not have the right to remain silent"
2 - I would reword this sentence; it's entirely too long and it could benefit from some compressing. ...
Undergraduateqandeeltariq - Dec 31, 2011 / velvetblossom - Dec 31, 2011
|'My favorite color is blue, I like dogs' - Stanford Supplement: Roomate Letter
9 - 2011college2011 It may be logical, though, since one would probably want to tell a lot without knowing where to...
Undergraduateerndawg - Dec 28, 2011 / DrunkLurker - Dec 31, 2011
|'how i was discriminated against on' - Georgia Tech
Undergraduatejava4u - Dec 14, 2011 / CollegeHopefuls - Dec 31, 2011
|Commonapp- Picking My Eyebrows
Undergraduatekarissa_a16 - Dec 30, 2011 / Musicforleisure - Dec 31, 2011
|'German shepherd' - Amherst supplement essay- difficulties
UndergraduateAnxhela - Dec 29, 2011 / Musicforleisure - Dec 31, 2011
|'Curling' - Extracurricular Common App
6 - I don't mind it at all. It seems like someothing that many people would write, and for that i...
Undergraduatejecc_ - Dec 27, 2011 / goldenmachine12 - Dec 31, 2011
|'Travel or living experiences in other countries ' - Harvard optional essay
10 - great essay :)...
Undergraduatewilsy - Nov 26, 2011 / rahilsavani - Dec 31, 2011
|Stanford Roommate - Why are there cats on everything you own?!
10 - Honestly this is great. The voice is clear. The all caps are well done. And it's succinct without being...
Undergraduateforeverarianaaa - Dec 30, 2011 / Jackyt - Dec 31, 2011
|Stanford Undergrad Admissions - What matters to you and why? -- Trusting myself
Undergraduatejaybee - Dec 29, 2011 / 2011college2011 - Dec 31, 2011
|Something important that didn't go according to plan (MIT admission essay) - feedback
3 - 1) But how to rephrase it? Would "...and they took her off my back..." work? 2) The group consisted...
UndergraduateDrunkLurker - Dec 30, 2011 / DrunkLurker - Dec 31, 2011
|'experiences at the orphanage' - Common App Extracurricular
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 31, 2011 / BigBoob15 - Dec 31, 2011
|University of Illinois at Urbana - Champaign Essays; influences / about yourself
Undergraduatedychung7 - Dec 30, 2011 / bluedevilzn - Dec 31, 2011
|Thomas Sowell Reader - Columbia Supplement - 3 short essays
6 - They are all good, although some polishing is still necessary. The first one is a bit risky, and the...
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 30, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 31, 2011
|Brown; community's impact - My family has shaped me into an adventurous eater
2 - I would advice you to change the topic. You could still write an informal topic, maybe a Vietnamese tradition/origins/purpose...
Undergraduatechickenlittle - Dec 30, 2011 / bluedevilzn - Dec 31, 2011
|Completed Personal Statement; "Will we survive the preliminary round?"
UndergraduateBigBoob15 - Dec 31, 2011 / BigBoob15 - Dec 31, 2011
|Stanford Supplement: Intellectual Development "Look over these packets"
Undergraduateangelserenite - Dec 30, 2011 / pringles - Dec 31, 2011
|Rice University - contributional perspective about diversity
3 - "others realize what I do about diversity..." If I were you, I would delete the ...'s in front of...
Undergraduatejaybee - Dec 30, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 31, 2011
|'Computer studies and Homecoming Parade' - Northwestern University Supplement
Undergraduatedmjackson - Dec 30, 2011 / theoneandonly - Dec 31, 2011
|'gather left-over cups and fast food wrappers' - Extracurricular Activity
UndergraduateMDes - Dec 30, 2011 / MDes - Dec 31, 2011
|'work in close proximity with the people' - Common App=ECA
Undergraduateninjahatori - Dec 30, 2011 / ninjahatori - Dec 31, 2011
|'civil engagement programs' - Northwestern Supplement
NEW - What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying...
Undergraduatemm1994 - Dec 31, 2011 / — -
|Why Northwestern? My first impression
6 - taman121 I liked how you gave a detailed narration in the beginning of your essay. I also had...
Undergraduatetaman121 - Dec 29, 2011 / mm1994 - Dec 31, 2011
|Boarding School Applicant Essay - The Life And Death Of My Father
3 - It is a strong essay. The story is engaging and your writing is clear and concise. There are only...
Undergraduatepillowface - Dec 30, 2011 / Notoman - Dec 31, 2011
|'Renaissance' + 'Supernova' - MIT Essays
Undergraduatenkprasad12 - Dec 31, 2011 / sungmink94 - Dec 31, 2011
|I attended a high school that was in the middle of several gangs
2 - Overall, I think it's a very great essay. It sounds very personal because of your own thoughts and your...
UndergraduatePyroDog - Dec 31, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 31, 2011
|I had the opportunity to live in Germany for a year; intellectual vitality essay
2 - After numerous years learning German, I had the opportunity to live in Germany for a year because I was...
Undergraduateestandiaa - Dec 30, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 31, 2011
|Why NYU? "New York is dynamic melting pot full of inspiration"
6 - Thank you! :D...
Undergraduaterrolle - Dec 30, 2011 / rrolle - Dec 31, 2011
|'the fear take control of me' - uber short supplement essay
Undergraduatepjw7109 - Dec 31, 2011 / pjw7109 - Dec 31, 2011
|'No such thing as the Postal Service' - NYU Supplement- What intrigues you?
Undergraduateibeckki - Dec 29, 2011 / edwkoc - Dec 31, 2011
|A Bold but Quick Move - Stanford Intellectual Vitality Supplement Essay
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 30, 2011 / insanesoul81994 - Dec 31, 2011
|improvement through research / guardianship - Why Rochester?
UndergraduateBlazinazn253 - Dec 31, 2011 / kathyxtrieu - Dec 31, 2011
|'valuable individual identity' - COMMON AP ESSAY
2 - This essay has potential, but your anecdote and analysis of yourself is negative in the beginning to the middle....
Undergraduatewilliamwu123 - Dec 31, 2011 / Strawberry78 - Dec 31, 2011
|"Child of two cultures" Rice University admissions essay
2 - I'm applying to Rice also~ Over all prespectives are good, and having two cultures in one is a very...
Undergraduatemiketheaddict - Dec 23, 2011 / 4151yhh - Dec 31, 2011
|My Personal Essay - I realize how much I have changed
Undergraduateand_shi - Dec 30, 2011 / AMANDANIELLE - Dec 31, 2011
|'A Korean minority in boarding school' - common app
Undergraduatepjw7109 - Dec 29, 2011 / SeniorMel - Dec 31, 2011
|'the best undergraduate biology programs' - Cornell Supplement
Undergraduatesoshifan - Dec 30, 2011 / pringles - Dec 31, 2011
|'still the teacher assistant' - college essay
Undergraduatecupcakes12 - Dec 30, 2011 / cupcakes12 - Dec 31, 2011
|SAIC SOP -- Found; 'excellent teachers and intense artistic atmosphere'
NEW - instructions: Writing is a very important component of being an artist. We will be looking closely at your ability...
UndergraduateAMANDANIELLE - Dec 31, 2011 / — -
|'Hispanic culture / Medicine / Jewish Men' - NYU Supplement
5 - I shall change the beginning of the second one! i thought it would be bold, guess it just comes...
Undergraduatekhajee - Dec 30, 2011 / khajee - Dec 31, 2011
|'Slam and pointer finger' - Stanford Univ. - What matters to you and Why
4 - I think I can understand why you state that "My pointer finger matters to me" However, as the question...
Undergraduatefishie21 - Dec 30, 2011 / 4151yhh - Dec 31, 2011
|BU Supplement (Roomie) - It's so nice to finally meet you!
Undergraduatervonitter - Dec 31, 2011 / SeniorMel - Dec 31, 2011
|'A country like Bangladesh' - evaluate my comon app essay
2 - This essay is very well written and it develops very nicely into a thoughtful, meaningful essay. When I...
Undergraduatemalika - Dec 30, 2011 / Mango17 - Dec 31, 2011
|Recommended / Inspirational / Teacher assistant /Walls Syracuse University Supplement
Undergraduatein0va3 - Dec 30, 2011 / dmjackson - Dec 31, 2011
|'assumptions rather than knowledge' - intellectual vitality- stanford supp
9 - I just dont' think it's a good topic to begin with. Doesn't really show intellectual vitality and this essay...
Undergraduategris_pereyra - Dec 30, 2011 / Buffomatic - Dec 30, 2011
|Cornell A&S Supplement: Economics & Management Passion
Undergraduatethes1tuation - Dec 30, 2011 / zmj7706 - Dec 30, 2011
|'Cycling Club / Even Better' - University of Rochester Supplements
3 - I think that these two paragraphs need to mention something about U Rochester No where in the first...
Undergraduatein0va3 - Dec 30, 2011 / soshifan - Dec 30, 2011
|Tufts Supplement - "consider the world within yourself"
UndergraduateNerd99 - Dec 30, 2011 / Nerd99 - Dec 30, 2011
|Evaluate a signific. experience and it's affect on you - Bullies to Best Friends
UndergraduateMauru23 - Dec 29, 2011 / Mauru23 - Dec 30, 2011
|'The common good is relative' - interests and aspirations - BOWDOIN'S SUPPLEMENT
NEW - BE HARSH In an effort to understand your interests and aspirations for college, we ask you to select...
Undergraduatepjw7109 - Dec 30, 2011 / — -
|'Your institution gives me access to both of my passions' - Common Application
Undergraduatervonitter - Dec 30, 2011 / rvonitter - Dec 30, 2011
|Stanford Intellectual Vitality Essay - Combat Robotics
2 - The whole thing is really really good... until the last paragraph. You were so descriptive throughout that I almost...
UndergraduateJasu - Dec 30, 2011 / daniel44992 - Dec 30, 2011
|'like the bridge in the guitar' - Why Conncoll?
4 - I think you should expand on the small school thing. some of the diction gets repetitive, though. Please check...
Undergraduaterahilsavani - Dec 30, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 30, 2011
|Why Michigan? An insight into my life and future.
Undergraduatealbo23 - Dec 30, 2011 / rockbiter - Dec 30, 2011
|UVa supplement - Engineering Essay "Glass Bridge"
2 - you have a cool idea with the glass floor thing. I don't really know anything about engineering, but I...
Undergraduatedaniel44992 - Dec 30, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 30, 2011
|'Chris McCandless, an unsettling character' - UVA supplement essay
Undergraduatejleep23 - Dec 30, 2011 / sarahbee - Dec 30, 2011
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