|Undergraduate [25,499] - page 188 of 425|
|Realizing what I am doing
5 - I agree with the first two posters. You should make clear why you decided to join red cross and...
Undergraduatepaw1168 - Dec 29, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 29, 2011
|Taking a nap, math, Tupac & Biggie, Violinist, Yale class - Yale Short Responses
UndergraduateBigBoob15 - Dec 29, 2011 / singh955 - Dec 29, 2011
|NYU SUPPLEMENT- In n Out, Socratic Seminars, Sewing (badly)
21 - For the third: I tend to spew out tangled contraptions that can not be considered wearable If...
Undergraduatekarissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011 / lwest94 - Dec 29, 2011
|intellectual engagement essay (for college app)
UndergraduatePottergirl19 - Dec 29, 2011 / desertautumn - Dec 29, 2011
|'A finished melody' - Why Connecticut College?
2 - I like your comparison because you are comparing it to something that was meaningful to you but that's what...
Undergraduaterahilsavani - Dec 29, 2011 / TheN3094 - Dec 29, 2011
|Cornell : School of Industrial and Labor Relations Essay
Undergraduatepangarebonitao - Dec 29, 2011 / pangarebonitao - Dec 29, 2011
|I have always wanted to become a successful businessman ; AUBG
1 - Throughout my lifetime I have always wanted to become a successful businessman and make something great and valuable for...
Undergraduatesvanchika - Dec 29, 2011 / — -
|Princeton influential person essay
UndergraduateSnowflakes - Dec 29, 2011 / Snowflakes - Dec 29, 2011
|MICA Essay-Most people fear change, but I thrive on it.
Undergraduateanshikav - Dec 15, 2011 / anshikav - Dec 29, 2011
|NYU Supplement: What intrigues you? 'multiple perspectives, point of views'
10 - i really liked it. very good topic. i think you should choose another word for "wreak havoc" . it...
Undergraduatecarochoi - Dec 28, 2011 / sarahbee - Dec 29, 2011
|Internship programs, Why Boston essay, International student body
4 - Here's the thing: You say you visited the website obsessively, twice a day (will they believe it) and the...
UndergraduateZhantair - Dec 29, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 29, 2011
|My name is Jason - Common App Essay
Undergraduatezman9264 - Dec 28, 2011 / paw1168 - Dec 29, 2011
|Essay in Progress "Airman".
3 - Standing proud, a figure of discipline and typically looked at as a man of principle. This individual is faithful...
Undergraduatecmaher92 - Dec 29, 2011 / cmaher92 - Dec 29, 2011
|MIT essay ,choice of major...
5 - many thanks for the help :) yes i think that the last sentence does not make any sense.i will...
Undergraduateahmad999 - Dec 29, 2011 / ahmad999 - Dec 29, 2011
|Celebrate My Nerdy Side! A sneaky prompt from Tufts.
Undergraduatesagerfrog - Dec 29, 2011 / rahilsavani - Dec 29, 2011
|'small seminar classes' - What influenced me to apply to Barnard
3 - Hey, Suggestion: I automaticallyimmediately or instantly(seems like a better fit) fell in love with Barnard other...
Undergraduatemaryp630 - Dec 29, 2011 / sarahbee - Dec 29, 2011
|"What does Community mean to you?'' Conncoll supplement.
4 - Thanks with the editing Shamira :) Thank you for pointing that out Htet, I would have never noticed that...
Undergraduaterahilsavani - Dec 28, 2011 / rahilsavani - Dec 29, 2011
|Common app essay: A real connection: struggle-responsibilities
5 - Thank you soo much for your feedback, it is SO helpful ! I will focus more on the responsibilities...
Undergraduateabcf - Dec 29, 2011 / abcf - Dec 29, 2011
|'students who share the same passions as mine' - Why NYU
5 - Thank you all so much! I never expected such responses... I'll try my best to change all those little...
Undergraduateahstop - Dec 29, 2011 / ahstop - Dec 29, 2011
|Why NYU / academic area of interest; 'anything is possible at NYU'
2 - 1- I love the starting. However, be more specific!!!! For example, what does it specifically offer you, maybe a...
Undergraduatemukhia08 - Dec 29, 2011 / xotibxo - Dec 29, 2011
|Emory Essay Supplement: Unique & Ride
3 - Both essays were well written; i like you personified the school. Just have the first essay looked over by...
UndergraduateChopeful - Dec 29, 2011 / JackSparrow - Dec 29, 2011
|'never made it to the finals round' - What Matters to you and Why? - Stanford
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 28, 2011 / sarahbee - Dec 29, 2011
|'from Maryland to Arizona in the eighth grade'; Univ. of Maryland College Essay
4 - My endeavor for academic excellence has always been fueled by my father's journey to the United States. My father...
UndergraduateDukefool - Dec 29, 2011 / Dukefool - Dec 29, 2011
|'dance allows me to be myself' - JHU- something about yourself
5 - Wow, thank you guys so much for the feedback! Here's my revised version (I really didn't change all that...
Undergraduatenikariotz - Dec 25, 2011 / nikariotz - Dec 29, 2011
|'to persevere and to excel' - NYU Supplement
5 - You use some good language and description in some areas but not others. Try to refrain from saying "thing"...
Undergraduatemaryvisa - Dec 29, 2011 / ibeckki - Dec 29, 2011
|Short UVa Suppliment "what is your favorite place to get lost in and why?"
5 - Cindy I just figured you were saying generally, there is nowhere else, whether in NY or the world,...
Undergraduatecindyw1397 - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011
|CommonApp ExtraCurricular Essay "Bringing a community together"
Undergraduatejebhogiaye - Dec 29, 2011 / sm09 - Dec 29, 2011
|UVA Super short supplement-Pulchritude is my favorite word.
7 - Yusra Much better. The ending was more pow. Maybe you could elaborate more, it feels like its missing...
Undergraduateyusra12 - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011
|Film Concept: short film idea - Emerson College
6 - I think it sounds like a fine concept--it's all in how the script is executed. I think focusing on...
Undergraduatejerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011 / summerteeth - Dec 29, 2011
|Cornell Supplement -- Being a doctor, and everything else
3 - thanks! where should I add the additional Cornell information so that it doesn't seem out of place?...
Undergraduateserendipityyy - Dec 29, 2011 / serendipityyy - Dec 29, 2011
|"Chocolate or vanilla?"- person of signficant influence common app essay
3 - Thank you! Yes, I will cut back on my fathers description and transition to his influence me earlier....
Undergraduateshs1123 - Dec 29, 2011 / shs1123 - Dec 29, 2011
|Julius Caesar is one of the most powerful pieces of literature; Amherst College Sup
3 - Hi I'm also working on this Amherst essay. I personally think that you don't need the paragraph of...
UndergraduateAbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Dec 29, 2011
|Why Upenn - Upenn Supplement 500 word essay
9 - Aromie: thank u very much! Kevin: that definitely helps. Thank u! Looks like I have some more work to...
Undergraduatemamaton - Dec 29, 2011 / mamaton - Dec 29, 2011
|"Who am I? I am...." Boston University Admissions Essay
6 - Diddo to bookbug_xd Your narrative is interesting, just cut down in the initial description. For example take out "a...
Undergraduateflash king - Dec 29, 2011 / Max8 - Dec 29, 2011
|Things that I like --- a short supplement essay
3 - Katie: Thanks for the input! Revised: Fleur-de-lys With leafs extended to the side, and a knot tightened...
Undergraduateckpckp1994 - Dec 19, 2011 / ckpckp1994 - Dec 29, 2011
|search for career paths - Intellectual vitality essay Stanford Supplement
UndergraduateMax8 - Dec 29, 2011 / Max8 - Dec 29, 2011
|Emerson College Supplement- Life Title
2 - Tanner I think the formality of the essay is neither here nor there since the prompt said stop...
Undergraduatetanner328 - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011
|"Dancing and the fear of losing" - CommonApp
7 - Daniel I think you have a great concept for your essay, I find myself sympathizing with the fact...
UndergraduateCollegeHopefuls - Dec 26, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011
|'the mysteries of the world' - Common Application main essay
6 - Thanks Farah!...
UndergraduateAbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011 / AbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011
|"The bank officials." - MIT personal essay
9 - Thank you! :)...
Undergraduatekruthimohan - Dec 27, 2011 / kruthimohan - Dec 29, 2011
|Kit Kats: Common Application Essay
10 - Thank you guys for all your help and kind words. I submitted my Common Application today. Wishing you...
Undergraduatepinkstarbaby - Dec 27, 2011 / pinkstarbaby - Dec 29, 2011
|'Mistake' - Common app international student
4 - All grammatical errors aside, this is a pretty good essay for an international student. Just a tip: refrain from...
UndergraduateIcandoeverythin - Dec 14, 2011 / pinkstarbaby - Dec 29, 2011
|McDonald's "Work experience"- will review your essays
5 - It doesn't give details about you. I think you should be more specific about your job and effect of...
Undergraduatederemifri - Dec 29, 2011 / jonjojonjo - Dec 29, 2011
|Bard Essay "Civilization Ends"
3 - Thanks--would you mind pointing out a few of the grammatical mistakes/spelling errors you mentioned? I've read if several times...
Undergraduatesummerteeth - Dec 29, 2011 / summerteeth - Dec 29, 2011
|'immigrant parents from India' - William and Mary Personal Statement
4 - Hmm, the title was misgiving. I thought you were going to talk about your parents, but I guess not....
Undergraduatepitt4life01 - Dec 17, 2011 / admiraljes - Dec 29, 2011
|"The moment has finally arrived" -- Common App Essay Topic of Choice
Undergraduateworkinprogress - Dec 29, 2011 / wahmed - Dec 29, 2011
|2011 Cornell A&S Supplement Essay
5 - I love the first sentence. Grabs the readers attention. This essay is very strong. Best of luck loveofacademic....
Undergraduateloveofacademic - Dec 29, 2011 / Max8 - Dec 29, 2011
|'The Veterinarian Profession' - Vet Camp Admission
UndergraduateAnimalLover101 - Dec 23, 2011 / AnimalLover101 - Dec 29, 2011
|COmmon app essay on diversity from a different perspective
2 - Cool essay I must say. My critiques: That is one strong beginning. However, knowing rather than thinking better to...
Undergraduatemaminat95 - Dec 29, 2011 / workinprogress - Dec 29, 2011
|I want to be a farmer- Cornell College of Agriculture and Life Sciences essay
UndergraduateSnake - Dec 28, 2011 / Snake - Dec 29, 2011
|'we are all humans' - Common App Essay my own topic
5 - Interesting topic.But there are some grammatical errors.Try to correct them. And explain what XC is....
Undergraduateathai45 - Dec 6, 2011 / AbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011
|Amherst Supplement - overcoming difficulty, obstacles surmounted
Undergraduateseaweed77 - Dec 28, 2011 / AbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Quit, you will be better without it' - running common app essay
3 - I agree with karissa. I think the metaphor is extremely cliche. Trite statements like "life is like a piece...
Undergraduategris_pereyra - Dec 29, 2011 / izzyt - Dec 29, 2011
|'how much beneficial riding a bike can be' - Common app essay
3 - There are a lot of grammatical mistakes in this essay! Please check this over! For example, in the first...
Undergraduatephhai - Dec 28, 2011 / bookbug_xd - Dec 29, 2011
|Stanford- (The God Particle) Intellectual Developmen) & (Personable) Note to Roommate
UndergraduateAdamA1994 - Dec 21, 2011 / gris_pereyra - Dec 29, 2011
|'networks of neurons' / 'construction of edu' - What interests and Why Brown supplements
11 - I love the first response( shows creativity). The second one is also good but not excellent. I like the...
Undergraduatemusic920 - Dec 28, 2011 / m45over - Dec 29, 2011
|"stay hungry, stay foolish" - Common App Essay - Steve Jobs Influence
4 - It's a bit choppy, but great nonetheless. Great quotes! Your essay shows that your aspirations clearly. If you just...
UndergraduateAbsoluteBliss - Dec 29, 2011 / carochoi - Dec 29, 2011
|BU supplement! Roomate essay.. yay!
5 - Very nice essay. It clearly shows your personality. I would love to be your roommate! If you have...
UndergraduateCleopatra - Dec 29, 2011 / carochoi - Dec 29, 2011
|BOOM! A mentos and Diet Coke evolution =) Cornell Essay!
4 - The diet coke and mentos thing is a really good idea, but the execution wasn't very good to be...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|'a giant leap for mankind' - Stanford supplement: intellectual vitality
4 - I just want to mention that your Neil Armstrong quote is slightly wrong, his actual words were "Thats one...
UndergraduateRene00 - Dec 28, 2011 / Razor - Dec 29, 2011
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