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|'Macbeth and Socratic seminars' - Stanford Univ - Intellectual Vit. essay!
Undergraduatefishie21 - Dec 29, 2011 / fishie21 - Dec 30, 2011
|Brown Community - IB "poster girl"
Undergraduateforeverarianaaa - Dec 30, 2011 / rosemarimalu - Dec 30, 2011
|'Talented students / Science work / Study growth' - GWU+ honor Supplements
5 - Your essays are indeed very strong. Referring to your question on whether your 2nd essay still works with the...
Undergraduatecalvinwang - Dec 30, 2011 / TheN3094 - Dec 30, 2011
|William Sherwood Fox quote; which Penn Essay?--Wharton
5 - Not any major ones that i can tell atleast. One sentence that sounded a little awkward was the...
UndergraduateappliCAN - Dec 30, 2011 / pringles - Dec 30, 2011
|"Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase!" - Stanford Roommate Supplement Essay
8 - wow it is very well written. just some grammar mistakes, which are pointed out already by above posters....
Undergraduateangelserenite - Dec 29, 2011 / CheesyCake - Dec 30, 2011
|NYU- Why us? I've always strived to reach my full potential
Undergraduatehaikusoccer12 - Dec 30, 2011 / nkcnatalee864 - Dec 30, 2011
|'Jazz band / Election day / Perfect school' - Common App/Gettysburg
UndergraduateDeeAnn_Angela - Dec 30, 2011 / CheesyCake - Dec 30, 2011
|Lehigh Supplement: Founding your own college or university
Undergraduatemaryp630 - Dec 30, 2011 / 4151yhh - Dec 30, 2011
|Brown Describe a moment when your perspective changed -- Fast feedback
Undergraduatebookbug_xd - Dec 30, 2011 / taboriginal - Dec 30, 2011
|Lets have a momentary leave from reality- Stanford commonapp
8 - find a better word for leaves---momentary lapses? If there' s one thing people know about me, it's that I...
Undergraduatekholmes - Dec 27, 2011 / maianh94 - Dec 30, 2011
|You Are My Sunshine - Common App Essay
6 - Justine LOOOOLHAHA. thank you. I don't really talk about it, but I love writing!! Been having writers block...
UndergraduateJMy - Dec 30, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 30, 2011
|My parents got divorced; Significant Challenge I've faced: MIT
Undergraduatetheboss639 - Dec 29, 2011 / aricar17 - Dec 30, 2011
|'part of Team Tanzania' - What matters to you and why? Stanford APP
6 - great topic. but i agree with the first poster. there isn't really a point where you talk about why...
Undergraduatekholmes - Dec 27, 2011 / sarahbee - Dec 30, 2011
|Science in daily life / Study dedication - essay for Rice University
2 - ***When talking about the school, avoid statistics that the school already knows about. They want to know that you...
Undergraduate4151yhh - Dec 30, 2011 / taboriginal - Dec 30, 2011
|'John F. Kennedy was Catholic' - What Matters and Why? (Stanford)
2 - without which we wouldn't have lost to the Soviets in the Space Race--without which we would have minorities in...
Undergraduategooseman94 - Dec 29, 2011 / maianh94 - Dec 30, 2011
|Take a Risk! I send my fingers up the now-familiar rosewood frets. Notre Dame
3 - thanks! :)...
Undergraduatenkcnatalee864 - Dec 30, 2011 / nkcnatalee864 - Dec 30, 2011
|Letter to roomate - Stanford supplement
4 - really good essay! good transition from minimalism to diversity suddenly, showing off two extremes!...
Undergraduateestandiaa - Dec 30, 2011 / aricar17 - Dec 30, 2011
|'India Day Parade in America' - Brown supplement
5 - Think you meant "their" instead of "there." However "person," "has," and "me" is singular while "their" and "they"...
UndergraduateJaineel406 - Dec 30, 2011 / calvinwang - Dec 30, 2011
|'Volleyball companion' -Short activity essay
6 - Your passion shows through, very engaging essay! Also, thank you for helping with mine, and good luck!...
UndergraduateAnxhela - Dec 30, 2011 / yuanyuan3045 - Dec 30, 2011
|'found a job at a local store' - essay
8 - I agree with above posters, conclusion has to be stronger. Find something that other people will not be writing...
UndergraduateCheesyCake - Dec 30, 2011 / Anarion - Dec 30, 2011
|'Announcing the program for us' - Common App Short Answer
9 - Angela Suggestion: What could be more rewarding than that? I thought the ending would pop more with this...
Undergraduateyuanyuan3045 - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 30, 2011
|'I was struck by the beauty of the campus' - why yale short answer
Undergraduatearicar17 - Dec 30, 2011 / aricar17 - Dec 30, 2011
|From Miami / Public Relations / Weird activities - BostonU Supplements
Undergraduaterrolle - Dec 30, 2011 / rrolle - Dec 30, 2011
|MIT short essays "activity for pleasure" and "worst challenge"
Undergraduateahmad999 - Dec 30, 2011 / CheesyCake - Dec 30, 2011
|'My mom wanted to be a doctor' / 'Challenge' - MIT essay
Undergraduatesunil1 - Dec 30, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 30, 2011
|'Get along' + 'training' + 'robotics' - Stanford Short Essays (all 3)
NEW - I know the deadline is quickly approaching so I hope someone can answer asap. This is what I have...
Undergraduatetwinget - Dec 30, 2011 / — -
|'the Quark Model' - MIT rec
6 - Thanks for letting me know that! I have included one of the instances where I found a problem beyond...
Undergraduatekruthimohan - Dec 30, 2011 / kruthimohan - Dec 30, 2011
|What labeled one of the happiest days of our lives was the day my grandfather took those few steps
NEW - TOPIC: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence. What was labeled...
Undergraduatemukhia08 - Dec 30, 2011 / — -
|I will be a part of a culturally and intellectually diverse community; Why CMU?
2 - I think some parts could definitely be condensed--try to get the most meaning across in the least amounts of...
Undergraduatemshi94 - Dec 30, 2011 / capriciousprite - Dec 30, 2011
|Stanford Supplement: Roomate Letter (My Tacklebox)
UndergraduateappliCAN - Dec 30, 2011 / cmaher92 - Dec 30, 2011
|'We tried out best throughout the season' - Yale Supplement
5 - You should consider the possibility that the following is nonsense, since I cannot claim to hava any real knowledge...
Undergraduateprincy1122 - Dec 30, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 30, 2011
|Common App to Kenyon Vassar and Wesleyan - my relationship with my mom
Undergraduateelephant1 - Dec 5, 2011 / elephant1 - Dec 30, 2011
|'Consciousness of freedom' - BARD essay- JOY
3 - thanks!...
UndergraduateMikemikemike - Dec 30, 2011 / Mikemikemike - Dec 30, 2011
|The intention is a vital factor - Princeton Supplement
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 29, 2011 / matthewmuliadi - Dec 30, 2011
|UVA supp "Discuss your favorite place to get lost"
4 - hey Jonathan, contrary to what Strawberry78 said, I don't actually think that you must write about how this contributes...
Undergraduatejonnyboy2 - Dec 30, 2011 / Ravenclaw_roar - Dec 30, 2011
|'Enrichment program and 'unique' solution' - BU Supplement - Diversity
Undergraduatesingh955 - Dec 29, 2011 / rrolle - Dec 30, 2011
|BU supplement essay - what are a few things you would want to share about who you are?
Undergraduateilikesvl - Dec 29, 2011 / ilikesvl - Dec 30, 2011
|'Imran Khan, Pakistan' - Common app Essay - Influential person
Undergraduatehamzaobaid - Dec 29, 2011 / anshikav - Dec 30, 2011
|My experience as a university press editor - extracurricular activities essay
Undergraduateaylmerjeong - Dec 30, 2011 / SeniorMel - Dec 30, 2011
|'instant information' - NYU SUPPLEMENT- What intrigues you?
11 - i dont really think sport fits under the categories...maybe event? I'm not totally sure... I'll definitely check out your...
Undergraduateanshikav - Dec 29, 2011 / anshikav - Dec 30, 2011
|cut out about 30 words for my college app; 'I wasn't elected to do nothing'
4 - Rephrase There have been approximately 53 legal murders in the United States since the Roe vs. Wade decision to...
UndergraduatePottergirl19 - Dec 30, 2011 / silentspring - Dec 30, 2011
|Princeton Supplement - Describe someone who has had an influence on you.
4 - You start off with alot of wordiness and things that are irrelavant. Of course everybody has people that have...
Undergraduatefredday - Dec 30, 2011 / chazzmil - Dec 30, 2011
|Princeton Supplement - Quote that changed your values or approach to the world
Undergraduateopipcardenas - Dec 30, 2011 / SeniorMel - Dec 30, 2011
|'the concentration and focus on the major' - hope and learn from the Penn Community
2 - Hey I think that overall it's a good essay. You bring up specific points to link to your goals...
Undergraduatechazzmil - Dec 30, 2011 / Ravenclaw_roar - Dec 30, 2011
|'My Fear of Dragons' - Williams College Supplement (Window Essay)
3 - I wanted to show how I could grow up, conquer a fear... and still keep my imagination. However, I...
Undergraduatepetert3 - Dec 30, 2011 / petert3 - Dec 30, 2011
|The bridge between two immiscible worlds. UChicago Essay!
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 30, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 30, 2011
|'endless activities' - Why NYU? Supplement
UndergraduateSuzhou - Dec 27, 2011 / thes1tuation - Dec 30, 2011
|'AP English Composition and Language' - Columbia applicant -- favorite subject
3 - Thank you!!...
UndergraduateNervousByNature - Dec 30, 2011 / NervousByNature - Dec 30, 2011
|"Crumbs" -- Brown, Rice, Tufts
12 - It was an awesome comparison! I loved the Hansel and Gretel sentence-- it shows how big a seemingly insignificant...
Undergraduatebookbug_xd - Dec 29, 2011 / NervousByNature - Dec 30, 2011
|Common App Essay *Teach me how to rap*
7 - The content is good! But I think you could elaborate more in the body and give more examples of...
UndergraduateBillyIon - Dec 29, 2011 / rahilsavani - Dec 30, 2011
|Using UC personal statement as common app statement? Order.
7 - I believe that this depends on the college. Some might choose to take a look at the supplement first,...
Undergraduatedoug - Nov 28, 2009 / gotpho - Dec 30, 2011
|Coffee or chai tea? Cookies or biscuits? Chicken sandwich or chicken curry?; UVA
4 - Don't say I am amongst the few...a little pretentious...say that you love to work hard not just because you...
Undergraduateneed_advice - Dec 29, 2011 / ujax - Dec 30, 2011
|common app essay - my apprach on being homeless
5 - delete " I realise that" at the last paragraph. No need. Your essay transitions smoothly. decided is repeated used....
Undergraduatewilliamwu123 - Dec 29, 2011 / silentspring - Dec 30, 2011
|'a Mexican in Egypt and New York City' - Roomates? BU Supplement!
UndergraduateCleopatra - Dec 30, 2011 / Musicforleisure - Dec 30, 2011
|Extracurricular essay on volunteering! Any help is appreciated!!
3 - Thanks for the great input! I will definitely make those changes. You bring up a great point Kielbasy, and...
Undergraduateroyalrampage - Dec 30, 2011 / royalrampage - Dec 30, 2011
|"Explain Unicorns" - Help with Ideas for UMICH Honors Program Essay
9 - This essay is really brilliant. Your storytelling really makes it standout. Hardly can find anything to pick out....
Undergraduaterockbiter - Dec 28, 2011 / silentspring - Dec 30, 2011
|My pride and joy in peers - commonapp extracurricular response
4 - Your essay is clear, but I think you should focus on HOW you helped these persons (be as specific...
UndergraduateCleopatra - Dec 20, 2011 / linhnguyen2112 - Dec 30, 2011
|Johns Hopkins - INTERNATIONAL STUDIES
NEW - Hello everyone, help me check this essay. I'm from vietnam Johns Hopkins University Supp -- Intended Major Essay...
Undergraduatehatung94 - Dec 30, 2011 / — -
|Master studies will empower me - my last two paragraphs
3 - actually, it's very hard to make any serious comments based on the two paragraph you provide. If possible, post...
Undergraduateruat - Dec 29, 2011 / hatung94 - Dec 30, 2011
|UPenn optional essay- tell us about you
10 - To be a total conformist, I must agree: Go with number two. The second one is just as descriptive...
Undergraduatepostscript94 - Dec 29, 2011 / Kielbasy - Dec 30, 2011
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