|Undergraduate [25,607] - page 191 of 427|
|'Tone, Audience, and Purpose' - Favorite Class (Columbia Supplement)
7 - Hey Eigenvector! I really loved reading your essay, and sorry, I really hate AP Lit (if thats Langugage)....
UndergraduateEigenvector - Dec 28, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 29, 2011
|A Magical Encounter - Stanford Roomate Essay
4 - The eating part seems irrelevant to me. It's a sudden change of subject and it doesn't flow well. Other...
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|Maps are pieces of art waiting to be conceptualized - this is why I love Geography; favorite subject
Undergraduatemdubs777 - Dec 29, 2011 / mdubs777 - Dec 29, 2011
|Transferring into Texas A&M: Essay A (required)
2 - First off- shorten your quote. While great in the eighties, now quotes, unless they are great ones, sound silly...
Undergraduateessaygirl12 - Dec 28, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 29, 2011
|Peer Evaluation for Davidson
Undergraduateolly123 - Dec 29, 2011 / TheN3094 - Dec 29, 2011
5 - There's definitely some grammatical issues there, and they make it hard to understand :/ sorry. Please check out my...
Undergraduateleonard740 - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|'watched the NYU Symphony Orchestra' - Why NYU?
4 - There is honestly nothing I would change. I find your essay has a very honest tone, so I'd be...
Undergraduatecarochoi - Dec 27, 2011 / arbrelibre - Dec 29, 2011
|'discount deals' - NYU - Something that intrigues you
8 - It's interesting, but I don't really get why it's so significant to you, you barely mention it. Please read...
Undergraduatefaux_soup - Dec 20, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|'medicine is my calling' - Duke Short Essay-help revise
7 - I like your essay, it's very duke specific, flows well and shows that you've done research. I dont see...
Undergraduateyusra12 - Dec 28, 2011 / omgskl - Dec 29, 2011
|DVD collection of music videos - Pomona Supplement
3 - Made those changes, and submitted! Wooooooo. Ugh I need to stop procrastinating... Just wrote this in the past 1.5hrs....
Undergraduatefiyero49 - Dec 29, 2011 / fiyero49 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Transitioning into a young adult' - Common APP
3 - Very powerful essay. I agree with Carolynn in saying that there is little that needs fixing. I would definitely...
Undergraduateangelserenite - Dec 29, 2011 / arbrelibre - Dec 29, 2011
|'getting the ball into the hole' - Common APP Short Essay
Undergraduatesingh955 - Dec 28, 2011 / singh955 - Dec 29, 2011
|MIT - Personality Essay
Undergraduatemetalstriker - Dec 28, 2011 / metalstriker - Dec 29, 2011
|Cliche image of kids holding hands under a rainbow - Yale Supplement
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 28, 2011 / angelserenite - Dec 29, 2011
|Johns Hopkins Supplemental Essay -Origins
4 - I really like where you're going, but I agree wholeheartedly with the other posters. Please make some changes and...
UndergraduateAbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011 / fiyero49 - Dec 29, 2011
|'I ignore the insults' - CommonApp supplement- extracurricular essay
6 - I think you have an interesting take on something most people would find very shocking and, well, mean. I...
Undergraduateashatan - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|Emory Supplement Essay - "A New Adventure"
4 - it's great!! it has examples of every aspect you talk about and it flows really well. i like it!!...
UndergraduateSuzhou - Dec 29, 2011 / ubchiu - Dec 29, 2011
|'to be around students who really know how to get down and party' - "why Upenn"?
5 - Definitely a great essay- its not presumptuous, and the humor flows well. I don't know much about UPenn, so...
Undergraduatemaroon5 - Dec 28, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 29, 2011
|'The urge of success and satisfaction' - Standford: What matters to you?
2 - I don't like the ending because it sounds too superficial. Maybe change it something abstract about challenges. But that's...
UndergraduatelethalityKD - Dec 29, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Dear Admissions Staff, I don't give a Shih Tzu'
19 - I'm going to just be brutally honest: This sounds more like a dating website profile than a college application...
Undergraduatekarissa_a16 - Dec 27, 2011 / ElyGeoSav - Dec 29, 2011
|Youth2Youth organization. Short Extracurricular activities essay - for you critique!
Undergraduatefiyero49 - Dec 29, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 29, 2011
|Amherst Supplement Essay "Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat."
UndergraduateVvarsha - Dec 26, 2011 / AbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011
|'The California coast line' - Help me with the common app essay- Opening paragraph
2 - It was the perfect moment. The sun was setting off the California coast line. The summer breeze pushed my...
Undergraduatewahmed - Dec 29, 2011 / nr554 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Film and movie industry' - Short answer essay response
Undergraduatexbloodystarx - Dec 26, 2011 / xbloodystarx - Dec 29, 2011
|strengths and limits introduced by one new global language
3 - You could mention that if a global language is implemented, it should only start with children from the age...
Undergraduateericlau - Dec 28, 2011 / Strawberry78 - Dec 29, 2011
|Should I include this for MIT?
3 - I think you should include it. But it's ultimately up to you. People usually don't write about the topic...
Undergraduategarrettmc - Dec 28, 2011 / 4903abcd - Dec 28, 2011
|'the field of biomedical engineering' - UPenn Supplement
Undergraduatewya7890 - Dec 28, 2011 / lethalityKD - Dec 28, 2011
|Eggcellent-Cornell College of Engineering Interest Essay
4 - Personally I really like your story; it's descriptive and fun to read. But you should relate to Cornell....
Undergraduatedasadhikarik - Dec 28, 2011 / CollegeHopefuls - Dec 28, 2011
|'tours of Atlanta' - Stanford - Intellectual Vitality
2 - Your essay is well crafted. I would suggest how that new found confidence affected other aspects of your life,...
Undergraduatechocofudge0 - Dec 28, 2011 / Strawberry78 - Dec 28, 2011
|Lafayette College - Cur Non moment
12 - Your from Singapore? Get out! It is pretty cool here I'll admit. Yep, I am guilty as charge too,...
UndergraduateRavenclaw_roar - Dec 28, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 28, 2011
|'My Carnival Prize' - interests and learning materials
3 - this is good. interesting activity! interms of content you could mention something about what you have learnt form it...
Undergraduatestressedout - Dec 28, 2011 / lostboy10 - Dec 28, 2011
|Common Application Extracurricular activity-Environmental Issues
3 - the transition between your introduction and rest is a bit choppy. maybe consider just 1 question instead of 2....
UndergraduateDeepaJ19 - Dec 28, 2011 / lostboy10 - Dec 28, 2011
|Could I write an essay about the Internet? Of course I can, it's NYU!
Undergraduatesagerfrog - Dec 28, 2011 / lethalityKD - Dec 28, 2011
|Becoming a smarter person it's a natural part of growing up - Stanford; Intellectual Development
6 - Try not to talk negatively about anyone (even yourself) in your essay. Your essay does not seem to convey...
Undergraduategooseman94 - Dec 28, 2011 / Strawberry78 - Dec 28, 2011
|'academic excellence, location, small student body' - Why Tufts?
9 - you could also talk about the jan month where you can travel or pursue something you normall wouldnt have....
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 27, 2011 / lostboy10 - Dec 28, 2011
|UChicago Required Short Essay
6 - Hm okay. Thanks (both of you), I'll work on making the essay more specific, and less awkward. =)...
UndergraduateSuppiSteph - Dec 28, 2011 / SuppiSteph - Dec 28, 2011
|'Not ashamed of my duties' - CommonApp - I am japanese
15 - Hi a good content! The restrooms in my school arewere always kept clean. I always wondered about the mysterious...
Undergraduatekikuchi - Dec 16, 2011 / Musicforleisure - Dec 28, 2011
|Common App Extracurricular Essay - Pit Orchestra
Undergraduatekimisizer - Dec 28, 2011 / kimisizer - Dec 28, 2011
|Hope -Stanford - What matters to you and why?
3 - Thnks Christine. Thts a good suggestion, but I've already mentioned that point several times in the essay itself, so...
Undergraduatemetalstriker - Dec 28, 2011 / metalstriker - Dec 28, 2011
|" Why Columbia? ". Several factors combined.
8 - Hey Sarah, I was waiting for someone to tear it apart. You've been a great help. Thank you so...
UndergraduatelethalityKD - Dec 28, 2011 / lethalityKD - Dec 28, 2011
|Columbia Supplement - "Why this Major" + "Meaningful Book"
8 - From your comments I've gathered that I'm a very awkward writer, lol! but thank so much for reviewing my...
UndergraduateDMA17 - Dec 28, 2011 / DMA17 - Dec 28, 2011
|'psychology course' - Help with Johns Hopkins supplement
2 - This essay's exactly what you need. It's a little blunt, but Tufts is not looking for an astounding essay....
Undergraduatestressedout - Dec 28, 2011 / sagerfrog - Dec 28, 2011
|Why Swarthmore -- Phirst Draught
Undergraduatesagerfrog - Dec 28, 2011 / sagerfrog - Dec 28, 2011
|my doodling and principles - Swarthmore essay.
Undergraduatesagerfrog - Dec 28, 2011 / sagerfrog - Dec 28, 2011
|"Bug Lover": Tufts University essay
4 - Thanks you guys so much! For the last rhetorical question, what I meant to say was that if we...
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 28, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 28, 2011
|'a child of science' - Cornell: CAS Supplement
10 - Rewrite to make it seem more specific to Cornell _________________ I am a child of science. Doubtlessly, this...
UndergraduateHopefulApplier - Dec 27, 2011 / HopefulApplier - Dec 28, 2011
|When You Didn't Exist (M&Ms and Solipsism) - Common App Essay
8 - Of my stranger attributes, I have the ability to recollect even the most shaded of memories from wherever they've...
Undergraduatepitchfork - Dec 28, 2011 / bll2012 - Dec 28, 2011
|"The Most Important Night of Your Life" - Common App Essay
2 - WOW. I've been plowing through a lot of essays today, but this one is incredible. I love the videogame...
UndergraduateGraceTaylorWei - Dec 28, 2011 / Eigenvector - Dec 28, 2011
|'Getting an artistic pattern' - CommonApp Elaborate on an Extracurricular
5 - Xander You have a really good and pretty unique extracurricular essay going on here. Just one thing. Colleges...
UndergraduateEigenvector - Dec 28, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 28, 2011
|"Proud to be a cartoon addict" (Common App Statement) Need help shortening!
UndergraduateJoyfulldreams - Dec 28, 2011 / Joyfulldreams - Dec 28, 2011
|Common App Essay [What topic should this be if I want to choose my own topic?]
Undergraduatekorienfan - Dec 28, 2011 / korienfan - Dec 28, 2011
|MIT How has your Personality impacted your Life?
Undergraduatecupnoodle123 - Dec 28, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 28, 2011
|'Yoga, Take in a deep breath' - Common Application Extracurricular activity
UndergraduateAbhaJ19 - Dec 28, 2011 / AbhaJ19 - Dec 28, 2011
|'The origin of us' - Johns Hopkins Supplemental
UndergraduateAbhaJ19 - Dec 27, 2011 / AbhaJ19 - Dec 28, 2011
|Eat,Pray, Love- UVa supp
4 - It's a very powerful essay. Especially you openly praised Muslim devotion to their religion and God. But I agree...
Undergraduatearianna_muv - Dec 28, 2011 / DeepaJ19 - Dec 28, 2011
|"learning through video games" - Why Computer Science (carnegie mellon)
4 - maybe instead of "uncovering my future" you could say "uncovering my interest" Also, for formal essays numbers like "7th...
Undergraduatemiketheaddict - Dec 28, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 28, 2011
|UChicago Required Essay: What does Play-doh have to do with Plato?
UndergraduateSuppiSteph - Dec 28, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 28, 2011
|'visited Japan earlier the summer' - Diversity 2nd choice for common app essay
2 - Overall, solid essay. I think it would be better if you refrained from using "diversity" in your last sentence,...
Undergraduatepostscript94 - Dec 28, 2011 / carochoi - Dec 28, 2011
|Cornell Supplement Essay College of Arts and Sciences
Undergraduatejesusc11 - Dec 28, 2011 / jesusc11 - Dec 28, 2011
|Urbana Champaign Essay #1 Academic Interest - Civil and environmental engineering
2 - where sights of people starving could not be missed--where I always saw people starving But when I saw that...
Undergraduateangaduday - Dec 28, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 28, 2011
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