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|'never made it to the finals round' - What Matters to you and Why? - Stanford
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 28, 2011 / sarahbee - Dec 29, 2011
|'from Maryland to Arizona in the eighth grade'; Univ. of Maryland College Essay
4 - My endeavor for academic excellence has always been fueled by my father's journey to the United States. My father...
UndergraduateDukefool - Dec 29, 2011 / Dukefool - Dec 29, 2011
|'dance allows me to be myself' - JHU- something about yourself
5 - Wow, thank you guys so much for the feedback! Here's my revised version (I really didn't change all that...
Undergraduatenikariotz - Dec 25, 2011 / nikariotz - Dec 29, 2011
|'to persevere and to excel' - NYU Supplement
5 - You use some good language and description in some areas but not others. Try to refrain from saying "thing"...
Undergraduatemaryvisa - Dec 29, 2011 / ibeckki - Dec 29, 2011
|Short UVa Suppliment "what is your favorite place to get lost in and why?"
5 - Cindy I just figured you were saying generally, there is nowhere else, whether in NY or the world,...
Undergraduatecindyw1397 - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011
|CommonApp ExtraCurricular Essay "Bringing a community together"
Undergraduatejebhogiaye - Dec 29, 2011 / sm09 - Dec 29, 2011
|UVA Super short supplement-Pulchritude is my favorite word.
7 - Yusra Much better. The ending was more pow. Maybe you could elaborate more, it feels like its missing...
Undergraduateyusra12 - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011
|Common APP Essay: Luxury VS. Struggle
20 - - I think you should change "grade four" to fourth grade. It has more of a I'm-trying-to-tell-this-story type of...
UndergraduateZhoeK - Dec 27, 2011 / cindyw1397 - Dec 29, 2011
|Film Concept: short film idea - Emerson College
6 - I think it sounds like a fine concept--it's all in how the script is executed. I think focusing on...
Undergraduatejerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011 / summerteeth - Dec 29, 2011
|Cornell Supplement -- Being a doctor, and everything else
3 - thanks! where should I add the additional Cornell information so that it doesn't seem out of place?...
Undergraduateserendipityyy - Dec 29, 2011 / serendipityyy - Dec 29, 2011
|"Chocolate or vanilla?"- person of signficant influence common app essay
3 - Thank you! Yes, I will cut back on my fathers description and transition to his influence me earlier....
Undergraduateshs1123 - Dec 29, 2011 / shs1123 - Dec 29, 2011
|Julius Caesar is one of the most powerful pieces of literature; Amherst College Sup
3 - Hi I'm also working on this Amherst essay. I personally think that you don't need the paragraph of...
UndergraduateAbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Dec 29, 2011
|Why Upenn - Upenn Supplement 500 word essay
9 - Aromie: thank u very much! Kevin: that definitely helps. Thank u! Looks like I have some more work to...
Undergraduatemamaton - Dec 29, 2011 / mamaton - Dec 29, 2011
|"Who am I? I am...." Boston University Admissions Essay
6 - Diddo to bookbug_xd Your narrative is interesting, just cut down in the initial description. For example take out "a...
Undergraduateflash king - Dec 29, 2011 / Max8 - Dec 29, 2011
|search for career paths - Intellectual vitality essay Stanford Supplement
UndergraduateMax8 - Dec 29, 2011 / Max8 - Dec 29, 2011
|Emerson College Supplement- Life Title
2 - Tanner I think the formality of the essay is neither here nor there since the prompt said stop...
Undergraduatetanner328 - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011
|"Dancing and the fear of losing" - CommonApp
2 - Daniel I think you have a great concept for your essay, I find myself sympathizing with the fact...
UndergraduateCollegeHopefuls - Dec 26, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011
|Kit Kats: Common Application Essay
10 - Thank you guys for all your help and kind words. I submitted my Common Application today. Wishing you...
Undergraduatepinkstarbaby - Dec 27, 2011 / pinkstarbaby - Dec 29, 2011
|'Mistake' - Common app international student
4 - All grammatical errors aside, this is a pretty good essay for an international student. Just a tip: refrain from...
UndergraduateIcandoeverythin - Dec 14, 2011 / pinkstarbaby - Dec 29, 2011
|God and Evil - Common App Essay
Undergraduatejonjojonjo - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011
|'the mysteries of the world' - Common Application main essay
5 - I really like this one but just need to point out you've missed "find" or a similar word from...
UndergraduateAbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011 / its_spacely - Dec 29, 2011
|McDonald's "Work experience"- will review your essays
5 - It doesn't give details about you. I think you should be more specific about your job and effect of...
Undergraduatederemifri - Dec 29, 2011 / jonjojonjo - Dec 29, 2011
|Bard Essay "Civilization Ends"
3 - Thanks--would you mind pointing out a few of the grammatical mistakes/spelling errors you mentioned? I've read if several times...
Undergraduatesummerteeth - Dec 29, 2011 / summerteeth - Dec 29, 2011
|'immigrant parents from India' - William and Mary Personal Statement
4 - Hmm, the title was misgiving. I thought you were going to talk about your parents, but I guess not....
Undergraduatepitt4life01 - Dec 17, 2011 / admiraljes - Dec 29, 2011
|"The moment has finally arrived" -- Common App Essay Topic of Choice
Undergraduateworkinprogress - Dec 29, 2011 / wahmed - Dec 29, 2011
|2011 Cornell A&S Supplement Essay
5 - I love the first sentence. Grabs the readers attention. This essay is very strong. Best of luck loveofacademic....
Undergraduateloveofacademic - Dec 29, 2011 / Max8 - Dec 29, 2011
|'The Veterinarian Profession' - Vet Camp Admission
UndergraduateAnimalLover101 - Dec 23, 2011 / AnimalLover101 - Dec 29, 2011
|COmmon app essay on diversity from a different perspective
2 - Cool essay I must say. My critiques: That is one strong beginning. However, knowing rather than thinking better to...
Undergraduatemaminat95 - Dec 29, 2011 / workinprogress - Dec 29, 2011
|Why Lehigh? - "One of Lehigh's professors, programs and its great sense of community"
2 - When I researched on these programs, I felt very excited to find two videos about the research trip... ...
Undergraduatelinhnguyen2112 - Dec 29, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 29, 2011
|'we are all humans' - Common App Essay my own topic
5 - Interesting topic.But there are some grammatical errors.Try to correct them. And explain what XC is....
Undergraduateathai45 - Dec 6, 2011 / AbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011
|Amherst Supplement - overcoming difficulty, obstacles surmounted
Undergraduateseaweed77 - Dec 28, 2011 / AbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Quit, you will be better without it' - running common app essay
3 - I agree with karissa. I think the metaphor is extremely cliche. Trite statements like "life is like a piece...
Undergraduategris_pereyra - Dec 29, 2011 / izzyt - Dec 29, 2011
|'how much beneficial riding a bike can be' - Common app essay
3 - There are a lot of grammatical mistakes in this essay! Please check this over! For example, in the first...
Undergraduatephhai - Dec 28, 2011 / bookbug_xd - Dec 29, 2011
|Stanford- (The God Particle) Intellectual Developmen) & (Personable) Note to Roommate
UndergraduateAdamA1994 - Dec 21, 2011 / gris_pereyra - Dec 29, 2011
|'networks of neurons' / 'construction of edu' - What interests and Why Brown supplements
11 - I love the first response( shows creativity). The second one is also good but not excellent. I like the...
Undergraduatemusic920 - Dec 28, 2011 / m45over - Dec 29, 2011
|"stay hungry, stay foolish" - Common App Essay - Steve Jobs Influence
4 - It's a bit choppy, but great nonetheless. Great quotes! Your essay shows that your aspirations clearly. If you just...
UndergraduateAbsoluteBliss - Dec 29, 2011 / carochoi - Dec 29, 2011
|BU supplement! Roomate essay.. yay!
5 - Very nice essay. It clearly shows your personality. I would love to be your roommate! If you have...
UndergraduateCleopatra - Dec 29, 2011 / carochoi - Dec 29, 2011
|BOOM! A mentos and Diet Coke evolution =) Cornell Essay!
4 - The diet coke and mentos thing is a really good idea, but the execution wasn't very good to be...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|'a giant leap for mankind' - Stanford supplement: intellectual vitality
4 - I just want to mention that your Neil Armstrong quote is slightly wrong, his actual words were "Thats one...
UndergraduateRene00 - Dec 28, 2011 / Razor - Dec 29, 2011
|Unity will be the catalyst Unversity of Chicago direct learning essay!
2 - There's several grammatical issues, and all that I get from it is that you like engineering. It doesn't say...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 29, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|Stanford Supplement Essay
4 - I agree with the above poster, while you have a solid concept/underlying idea, you should try focus more on...
Undergraduateangelserenite - Dec 29, 2011 / music920 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Music, good movies' - roommate BU supplemental essay
8 - It's kind of all over the place as far as subject goes and there's grammatical issues. The diction comes...
UndergraduateEnigmaticHipsta - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Tone, Audience, and Purpose' - Favorite Class (Columbia Supplement)
7 - Hey Eigenvector! I really loved reading your essay, and sorry, I really hate AP Lit (if thats Langugage)....
UndergraduateEigenvector - Dec 28, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 29, 2011
|A Magical Encounter - Stanford Roomate Essay
4 - The eating part seems irrelevant to me. It's a sudden change of subject and it doesn't flow well. Other...
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|Maps are pieces of art waiting to be conceptualized - this is why I love Geography; favorite subject
Undergraduatemdubs777 - Dec 29, 2011 / mdubs777 - Dec 29, 2011
|Transferring into Texas A&M: Essay A (required)
2 - First off- shorten your quote. While great in the eighties, now quotes, unless they are great ones, sound silly...
Undergraduateessaygirl12 - Dec 28, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 29, 2011
|Peer Evaluation for Davidson
Undergraduateolly123 - Dec 29, 2011 / TheN3094 - Dec 29, 2011
5 - There's definitely some grammatical issues there, and they make it hard to understand :/ sorry. Please check out my...
Undergraduateleonard740 - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|'watched the NYU Symphony Orchestra' - Why NYU?
4 - There is honestly nothing I would change. I find your essay has a very honest tone, so I'd be...
Undergraduatecarochoi - Dec 27, 2011 / arbrelibre - Dec 29, 2011
|'discount deals' - NYU - Something that intrigues you
8 - It's interesting, but I don't really get why it's so significant to you, you barely mention it. Please read...
Undergraduatefaux_soup - Dec 20, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|'medicine is my calling' - Duke Short Essay-help revise
7 - I like your essay, it's very duke specific, flows well and shows that you've done research. I dont see...
Undergraduateyusra12 - Dec 28, 2011 / omgskl - Dec 29, 2011
|DVD collection of music videos - Pomona Supplement
3 - Made those changes, and submitted! Wooooooo. Ugh I need to stop procrastinating... Just wrote this in the past 1.5hrs....
Undergraduatefiyero49 - Dec 29, 2011 / fiyero49 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Transitioning into a young adult' - Common APP
3 - Very powerful essay. I agree with Carolynn in saying that there is little that needs fixing. I would definitely...
Undergraduateangelserenite - Dec 29, 2011 / arbrelibre - Dec 29, 2011
|'getting the ball into the hole' - Common APP Short Essay
Undergraduatesingh955 - Dec 28, 2011 / singh955 - Dec 29, 2011
|MIT - Personality Essay
Undergraduatemetalstriker - Dec 28, 2011 / metalstriker - Dec 29, 2011
|Cliche image of kids holding hands under a rainbow - Yale Supplement
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 28, 2011 / angelserenite - Dec 29, 2011
|Johns Hopkins Supplemental Essay -Origins
4 - I really like where you're going, but I agree wholeheartedly with the other posters. Please make some changes and...
UndergraduateAbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011 / fiyero49 - Dec 29, 2011
|'I ignore the insults' - CommonApp supplement- extracurricular essay
6 - I think you have an interesting take on something most people would find very shocking and, well, mean. I...
Undergraduateashatan - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|Emory Supplement Essay - "A New Adventure"
4 - it's great!! it has examples of every aspect you talk about and it flows really well. i like it!!...
UndergraduateSuzhou - Dec 29, 2011 / ubchiu - Dec 29, 2011
|'to be around students who really know how to get down and party' - "why Upenn"?
5 - Definitely a great essay- its not presumptuous, and the humor flows well. I don't know much about UPenn, so...
Undergraduatemaroon5 - Dec 28, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 29, 2011
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