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|'we are all humans' - Common App Essay my own topic
5 - Interesting topic.But there are some grammatical errors.Try to correct them. And explain what XC is....
Undergraduateathai45 - Dec 6, 2011 / AbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011
|Amherst Supplement - overcoming difficulty, obstacles surmounted
Undergraduateseaweed77 - Dec 28, 2011 / AbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Quit, you will be better without it' - running common app essay
3 - I agree with karissa. I think the metaphor is extremely cliche. Trite statements like "life is like a piece...
Undergraduategris_pereyra - Dec 29, 2011 / izzyt - Dec 29, 2011
|'how much beneficial riding a bike can be' - Common app essay
3 - There are a lot of grammatical mistakes in this essay! Please check this over! For example, in the first...
Undergraduatephhai - Dec 28, 2011 / bookbug_xd - Dec 29, 2011
|Stanford- (The God Particle) Intellectual Developmen) & (Personable) Note to Roommate
UndergraduateAdamA1994 - Dec 21, 2011 / gris_pereyra - Dec 29, 2011
|'networks of neurons' / 'construction of edu' - What interests and Why Brown supplements
11 - I love the first response( shows creativity). The second one is also good but not excellent. I like the...
Undergraduatemusic920 - Dec 28, 2011 / m45over - Dec 29, 2011
|"stay hungry, stay foolish" - Common App Essay - Steve Jobs Influence
4 - It's a bit choppy, but great nonetheless. Great quotes! Your essay shows that your aspirations clearly. If you just...
UndergraduateAbsoluteBliss - Dec 29, 2011 / carochoi - Dec 29, 2011
|BU supplement! Roomate essay.. yay!
5 - Very nice essay. It clearly shows your personality. I would love to be your roommate! If you have...
UndergraduateCleopatra - Dec 29, 2011 / carochoi - Dec 29, 2011
|BOOM! A mentos and Diet Coke evolution =) Cornell Essay!
4 - The diet coke and mentos thing is a really good idea, but the execution wasn't very good to be...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|'a giant leap for mankind' - Stanford supplement: intellectual vitality
4 - I just want to mention that your Neil Armstrong quote is slightly wrong, his actual words were "Thats one...
UndergraduateRene00 - Dec 28, 2011 / Razor - Dec 29, 2011
|Unity will be the catalyst Unversity of Chicago direct learning essay!
2 - There's several grammatical issues, and all that I get from it is that you like engineering. It doesn't say...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 29, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|Stanford Supplement Essay
4 - I agree with the above poster, while you have a solid concept/underlying idea, you should try focus more on...
Undergraduateangelserenite - Dec 29, 2011 / music920 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Music, good movies' - roommate BU supplemental essay
8 - It's kind of all over the place as far as subject goes and there's grammatical issues. The diction comes...
UndergraduateEnigmaticHipsta - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Tone, Audience, and Purpose' - Favorite Class (Columbia Supplement)
7 - Hey Eigenvector! I really loved reading your essay, and sorry, I really hate AP Lit (if thats Langugage)....
UndergraduateEigenvector - Dec 28, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 29, 2011
|A Magical Encounter - Stanford Roomate Essay
4 - The eating part seems irrelevant to me. It's a sudden change of subject and it doesn't flow well. Other...
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|Maps are pieces of art waiting to be conceptualized - this is why I love Geography; favorite subject
Undergraduatemdubs777 - Dec 29, 2011 / mdubs777 - Dec 29, 2011
|Transferring into Texas A&M: Essay A (required)
2 - First off- shorten your quote. While great in the eighties, now quotes, unless they are great ones, sound silly...
Undergraduateessaygirl12 - Dec 28, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 29, 2011
|Peer Evaluation for Davidson
Undergraduateolly123 - Dec 29, 2011 / TheN3094 - Dec 29, 2011
5 - There's definitely some grammatical issues there, and they make it hard to understand :/ sorry. Please check out my...
Undergraduateleonard740 - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|'watched the NYU Symphony Orchestra' - Why NYU?
4 - There is honestly nothing I would change. I find your essay has a very honest tone, so I'd be...
Undergraduatecarochoi - Dec 27, 2011 / arbrelibre - Dec 29, 2011
|'discount deals' - NYU - Something that intrigues you
8 - It's interesting, but I don't really get why it's so significant to you, you barely mention it. Please read...
Undergraduatefaux_soup - Dec 20, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|'medicine is my calling' - Duke Short Essay-help revise
7 - I like your essay, it's very duke specific, flows well and shows that you've done research. I dont see...
Undergraduateyusra12 - Dec 28, 2011 / omgskl - Dec 29, 2011
|DVD collection of music videos - Pomona Supplement
3 - Made those changes, and submitted! Wooooooo. Ugh I need to stop procrastinating... Just wrote this in the past 1.5hrs....
Undergraduatefiyero49 - Dec 29, 2011 / fiyero49 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Transitioning into a young adult' - Common APP
3 - Very powerful essay. I agree with Carolynn in saying that there is little that needs fixing. I would definitely...
Undergraduateangelserenite - Dec 29, 2011 / arbrelibre - Dec 29, 2011
|'getting the ball into the hole' - Common APP Short Essay
Undergraduatesingh955 - Dec 28, 2011 / singh955 - Dec 29, 2011
|MIT - Personality Essay
Undergraduatemetalstriker - Dec 28, 2011 / metalstriker - Dec 29, 2011
|Cliche image of kids holding hands under a rainbow - Yale Supplement
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 28, 2011 / angelserenite - Dec 29, 2011
|Johns Hopkins Supplemental Essay -Origins
4 - I really like where you're going, but I agree wholeheartedly with the other posters. Please make some changes and...
UndergraduateAbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011 / fiyero49 - Dec 29, 2011
|'I ignore the insults' - CommonApp supplement- extracurricular essay
6 - I think you have an interesting take on something most people would find very shocking and, well, mean. I...
Undergraduateashatan - Dec 28, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011
|Emory Supplement Essay - "A New Adventure"
4 - it's great!! it has examples of every aspect you talk about and it flows really well. i like it!!...
UndergraduateSuzhou - Dec 29, 2011 / ubchiu - Dec 29, 2011
|'to be around students who really know how to get down and party' - "why Upenn"?
5 - Definitely a great essay- its not presumptuous, and the humor flows well. I don't know much about UPenn, so...
Undergraduatemaroon5 - Dec 28, 2011 / ashatan - Dec 29, 2011
|'The urge of success and satisfaction' - Standford: What matters to you?
2 - I don't like the ending because it sounds too superficial. Maybe change it something abstract about challenges. But that's...
UndergraduatelethalityKD - Dec 29, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Dear Admissions Staff, I don't give a Shih Tzu'
19 - I'm going to just be brutally honest: This sounds more like a dating website profile than a college application...
Undergraduatekarissa_a16 - Dec 27, 2011 / ElyGeoSav - Dec 29, 2011
|Youth2Youth organization. Short Extracurricular activities essay - for you critique!
Undergraduatefiyero49 - Dec 29, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 29, 2011
|Amherst Supplement Essay "Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat."
UndergraduateVvarsha - Dec 26, 2011 / AbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011
|'The California coast line' - Help me with the common app essay- Opening paragraph
2 - It was the perfect moment. The sun was setting off the California coast line. The summer breeze pushed my...
Undergraduatewahmed - Dec 29, 2011 / nr554 - Dec 29, 2011
|strengths and limits introduced by one new global language
3 - You could mention that if a global language is implemented, it should only start with children from the age...
Undergraduateericlau - Dec 28, 2011 / Strawberry78 - Dec 29, 2011
|Should I include this for MIT?
3 - I think you should include it. But it's ultimately up to you. People usually don't write about the topic...
Undergraduategarrettmc - Dec 28, 2011 / 4903abcd - Dec 28, 2011
|'the field of biomedical engineering' - UPenn Supplement
Undergraduatewya7890 - Dec 28, 2011 / lethalityKD - Dec 28, 2011
|Eggcellent-Cornell College of Engineering Interest Essay
4 - Personally I really like your story; it's descriptive and fun to read. But you should relate to Cornell....
Undergraduatedasadhikarik - Dec 28, 2011 / CollegeHopefuls - Dec 28, 2011
|'tours of Atlanta' - Stanford - Intellectual Vitality
2 - Your essay is well crafted. I would suggest how that new found confidence affected other aspects of your life,...
Undergraduatechocofudge0 - Dec 28, 2011 / Strawberry78 - Dec 28, 2011
|Lafayette College - Cur Non moment
12 - Your from Singapore? Get out! It is pretty cool here I'll admit. Yep, I am guilty as charge too,...
UndergraduateRavenclaw_roar - Dec 28, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 28, 2011
|'My Carnival Prize' - interests and learning materials
3 - this is good. interesting activity! interms of content you could mention something about what you have learnt form it...
Undergraduatestressedout - Dec 28, 2011 / lostboy10 - Dec 28, 2011
|Common Application Extracurricular activity-Environmental Issues
3 - the transition between your introduction and rest is a bit choppy. maybe consider just 1 question instead of 2....
UndergraduateDeepaJ19 - Dec 28, 2011 / lostboy10 - Dec 28, 2011
|Could I write an essay about the Internet? Of course I can, it's NYU!
Undergraduatesagerfrog - Dec 28, 2011 / lethalityKD - Dec 28, 2011
|Becoming a smarter person it's a natural part of growing up - Stanford; Intellectual Development
6 - Try not to talk negatively about anyone (even yourself) in your essay. Your essay does not seem to convey...
Undergraduategooseman94 - Dec 28, 2011 / Strawberry78 - Dec 28, 2011
|'academic excellence, location, small student body' - Why Tufts?
7 - you could also talk about the jan month where you can travel or pursue something you normall wouldnt have....
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 27, 2011 / lostboy10 - Dec 28, 2011
|UChicago Required Short Essay
6 - Hm okay. Thanks (both of you), I'll work on making the essay more specific, and less awkward. =)...
UndergraduateSuppiSteph - Dec 28, 2011 / SuppiSteph - Dec 28, 2011
|Common App Extracurricular Essay - Pit Orchestra
Undergraduatekimisizer - Dec 28, 2011 / kimisizer - Dec 28, 2011
|Hope -Stanford - What matters to you and why?
3 - Thnks Christine. Thts a good suggestion, but I've already mentioned that point several times in the essay itself, so...
Undergraduatemetalstriker - Dec 28, 2011 / metalstriker - Dec 28, 2011
|" Why Columbia? ". Several factors combined.
8 - Hey Sarah, I was waiting for someone to tear it apart. You've been a great help. Thank you so...
UndergraduatelethalityKD - Dec 28, 2011 / lethalityKD - Dec 28, 2011
|Columbia Supplement - "Why this Major" + "Meaningful Book"
8 - From your comments I've gathered that I'm a very awkward writer, lol! but thank so much for reviewing my...
UndergraduateDMA17 - Dec 28, 2011 / DMA17 - Dec 28, 2011
|'psychology course' - Help with Johns Hopkins supplement
2 - This essay's exactly what you need. It's a little blunt, but Tufts is not looking for an astounding essay....
Undergraduatestressedout - Dec 28, 2011 / sagerfrog - Dec 28, 2011
|Why Swarthmore -- Phirst Draught
Undergraduatesagerfrog - Dec 28, 2011 / sagerfrog - Dec 28, 2011
|"Bug Lover": Tufts University essay
4 - Thanks you guys so much! For the last rhetorical question, what I meant to say was that if we...
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 28, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 28, 2011
|'a child of science' - Cornell: CAS Supplement
10 - Rewrite to make it seem more specific to Cornell _________________ I am a child of science. Doubtlessly, this...
UndergraduateHopefulApplier - Dec 27, 2011 / HopefulApplier - Dec 28, 2011
|When You Didn't Exist (M&Ms and Solipsism) - Common App Essay
8 - Of my stranger attributes, I have the ability to recollect even the most shaded of memories from wherever they've...
Undergraduatepitchfork - Dec 28, 2011 / bll2012 - Dec 28, 2011
|"The Most Important Night of Your Life" - Common App Essay
2 - WOW. I've been plowing through a lot of essays today, but this one is incredible. I love the videogame...
UndergraduateGraceTaylorWei - Dec 28, 2011 / Eigenvector - Dec 28, 2011
|Pace University and Common APP Essay: "What My Application Doesn't Show"
Undergraduatebll2012 - Dec 28, 2011 / — -
|'Getting an artistic pattern' - CommonApp Elaborate on an Extracurricular
5 - Xander You have a really good and pretty unique extracurricular essay going on here. Just one thing. Colleges...
UndergraduateEigenvector - Dec 28, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 28, 2011
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