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|Global - Networking NYU - Why NYU?
2 - It should end on some anecdote about NYU, because otherwise it sounds cut off. Good job though!...
Undergraduatenp9494 - Dec 29, 2011 / marshizzle1 - Dec 29, 2011
|"The Wanderer' -- Common App Essay
3 - Nice essay! Overall it looks pretty good, you've got some longer sentences you might want to rephrase so they...
Undergraduatebookbug_xd - Dec 29, 2011 / music920 - Dec 29, 2011
|'the environment I love' - Why NYU? essay question
10 - as well as a competitive edge small typo churning of new ideas , ethnicities, beliefs and thoughts I...
Undergraduateanshikav - Dec 11, 2011 / calvinwang - Dec 29, 2011
|Letter to Roomate for my Stanford Essay
2 - My name is Aabhas Singh, which you have the chance to mangle and edit.---funny! Nonetheless, I still retain...
Undergraduatetaman121 - Dec 29, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 29, 2011
|'My body and world around me' - Stanford Essay: Intellectual vitality
2 - The second paragraph about the summer reading needs to flow better with the rest of it. Right now it...
Undergraduatesailorb111 - Dec 29, 2011 / anshikav - Dec 29, 2011
|'high Calcium concentration' - JHU Supplement
9 - Thank you so much for all your efforts in editing my essay. I also greatly appreciate all your comments...
Undergraduatedesertautumn - Dec 28, 2011 / desertautumn - Dec 29, 2011
|UVA Supplement essay "Work of art that has surprised or unsettled you"
3 - You passion really comes through in this! "I wanted to listen to something uplifting, something more pleasurable to...
Undergraduatejonnyboy2 - Dec 29, 2011 / JB123 - Dec 29, 2011
|Stanford Essay: What matters to you, and why? Wanna be done today so let me know :)
Undergraduatesailorb111 - Dec 29, 2011 / teoth5 - Dec 29, 2011
|'passionate about the School Government' Something didn't go according to the plan
4 - I really feel dissappointed after this essay, not in you, but for you. It's clearly well written, but I...
Undergraduatekruthimohan - Dec 28, 2011 / nodumblonde1616 - Dec 29, 2011
|"Paralysis" - Topic of my Choice--Common App Personal Essay
Undergraduatenamonty7 - Dec 28, 2011 / namonty7 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Playing poker and meeting new people' - Stanford- Letter to roommate essay
4 - ya sure thing...
Undergraduatecharlie422 - Dec 29, 2011 / charlie422 - Dec 29, 2011
|Standford roommate essay! I want to be done today so let me know what you think.
4 - **updated version** Hey roomie! Well, we are about to embark on a journey that will change our lives in...
Undergraduatesailorb111 - Dec 29, 2011 / sailorb111 - Dec 29, 2011
|'Split South Africa' - CommonApp (Diversity Encounter/Experience)
3 - I'm a drum major at Walton, and I was born in South Africa! "unify a large, extremely diverse group...
UndergraduateEigenvector - Dec 28, 2011 / jebhogiaye - Dec 29, 2011
|"American Airman" | Topic #1 Common Application
Undergraduatecmaher92 - Dec 29, 2011 / cmaher92 - Dec 29, 2011
|Stanford Supplement: Intellectual Development
3 - Then, there is was! "A posse ad esse." -from possibility to actuality. maybe try to explain this part...
Undergraduateangelserenite - Dec 29, 2011 / sailorb111 - Dec 29, 2011
|JHU Supplement essay 2: "Freedom Writers"
4 - Frankly, in a little over 200 words, you've managed to captive the essence of your character, and values. I...
Undergraduatedesertautumn - Dec 28, 2011 / P334243 - Dec 29, 2011
|A Little About Me
3 - all-nighters-coffee -and-work-hard night' s pizza I enjoyed reading your essay. The only suggestion I would make is...
UndergraduateJB123 - Dec 29, 2011 / Prettywings - Dec 29, 2011
|Moving Boxes 18-inch by 24-inch - Common App essay
UndergraduateJerlynn - Dec 29, 2011 / muznaa23 - Dec 29, 2011
|Common App Topic of your choice "Frankenstein"
5 - In Pre-Calculus class, my teacher, Mr. Andrews, inspired my passion for mathematics through his problem solving exercises. Every Friday,...
Undergraduatejebhogiaye - Dec 29, 2011 / nr554 - Dec 29, 2011
|'exploring the opposing interests' - Stanford letter to roommate... need to reduce length.
4 - (Although the constant sun and nice climate of Paolo Alto probably won't provide much to discuss on that front)....
Undergraduatezkachmer - Dec 29, 2011 / fishie21 - Dec 29, 2011
|"Failure is not an option"; Stanford Intellectual Vitality
Undergraduatetheboss639 - Dec 29, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 29, 2011
|UIUC ESSAY #2 Interest/Experience
2 - I think you should stick to one or two significant events in your music life which really stood out...
Undergraduateangaduday - Dec 29, 2011 / desertautumn - Dec 29, 2011
|Realizing what I am doing
4 - I agree with the first two posters. You should make clear why you decided to join red cross and...
Undergraduatepaw1168 - Dec 29, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 29, 2011
|Taking a nap, math, Tupac & Biggie, Violinist, Yale class - Yale Short Responses
UndergraduateBigBoob15 - Dec 29, 2011 / singh955 - Dec 29, 2011
|NYU SUPPLEMENT- In n Out, Socratic Seminars, Sewing (badly)
21 - For the third: I tend to spew out tangled contraptions that can not be considered wearable If...
Undergraduatekarissa_a16 - Dec 29, 2011 / lwest94 - Dec 29, 2011
|intellectual engagement essay (for college app)
UndergraduatePottergirl19 - Dec 29, 2011 / desertautumn - Dec 29, 2011
|"Key Club" - CommonApp Short Response
4 - To Zach: The second sentence is really a continuation of the first. So it reads like this: "Key Club...
UndergraduateCollegeHopefuls - Dec 29, 2011 / CollegeHopefuls - Dec 29, 2011
|'A finished melody' - Why Connecticut College?
2 - I like your comparison because you are comparing it to something that was meaningful to you but that's what...
Undergraduaterahilsavani - Dec 29, 2011 / TheN3094 - Dec 29, 2011
|Cornell : School of Industrial and Labor Relations Essay
Undergraduatepangarebonitao - Dec 29, 2011 / pangarebonitao - Dec 29, 2011
|I have always wanted to become a successful businessman ; AUBG
NEW - Throughout my lifetime I have always wanted to become a successful businessman and make something great and valuable for...
Undergraduatesvanchika - Dec 29, 2011 / — -
|Princeton influential person essay
UndergraduateSnowflakes - Dec 29, 2011 / Snowflakes - Dec 29, 2011
|MICA Essay-Most people fear change, but I thrive on it.
Undergraduateanshikav - Dec 15, 2011 / anshikav - Dec 29, 2011
|NYU Supplement: What intrigues you? 'multiple perspectives, point of views'
10 - i really liked it. very good topic. i think you should choose another word for "wreak havoc" . it...
Undergraduatecarochoi - Dec 28, 2011 / sarahbee - Dec 29, 2011
|Internship programs, Why Boston essay, International student body
4 - Here's the thing: You say you visited the website obsessively, twice a day (will they believe it) and the...
UndergraduateZhantair - Dec 29, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 29, 2011
|My name is Jason - Common App Essay
Undergraduatezman9264 - Dec 28, 2011 / paw1168 - Dec 29, 2011
|Essay in Progress "Airman".
3 - Standing proud, a figure of discipline and typically looked at as a man of principle. This individual is faithful...
Undergraduatecmaher92 - Dec 29, 2011 / cmaher92 - Dec 29, 2011
|MIT essay ,choice of major...
4 - many thanks for the help :) yes i think that the last sentence does not make any sense.i will...
Undergraduateahmad999 - Dec 29, 2011 / ahmad999 - Dec 29, 2011
|Celebrate My Nerdy Side! A sneaky prompt from Tufts.
Undergraduatesagerfrog - Dec 29, 2011 / rahilsavani - Dec 29, 2011
|'small seminar classes' - What influenced me to apply to Barnard
3 - Hey, Suggestion: I automaticallyimmediately or instantly(seems like a better fit) fell in love with Barnard other...
Undergraduatemaryp630 - Dec 29, 2011 / sarahbee - Dec 29, 2011
|"What does Community mean to you?'' Conncoll supplement.
4 - Thanks with the editing Shamira :) Thank you for pointing that out Htet, I would have never noticed that...
Undergraduaterahilsavani - Dec 28, 2011 / rahilsavani - Dec 29, 2011
|Common app essay: A real connection: struggle-responsibilities
5 - Thank you soo much for your feedback, it is SO helpful ! I will focus more on the responsibilities...
Undergraduateabcf - Dec 29, 2011 / abcf - Dec 29, 2011
|'students who share the same passions as mine' - Why NYU
5 - Thank you all so much! I never expected such responses... I'll try my best to change all those little...
Undergraduateahstop - Dec 29, 2011 / ahstop - Dec 29, 2011
|Why NYU / academic area of interest; 'anything is possible at NYU'
2 - 1- I love the starting. However, be more specific!!!! For example, what does it specifically offer you, maybe a...
Undergraduatemukhia08 - Dec 29, 2011 / xotibxo - Dec 29, 2011
|Emory Essay Supplement: Unique & Ride
3 - Both essays were well written; i like you personified the school. Just have the first essay looked over by...
UndergraduateChopeful - Dec 29, 2011 / JackSparrow - Dec 29, 2011
|'never made it to the finals round' - What Matters to you and Why? - Stanford
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 28, 2011 / sarahbee - Dec 29, 2011
|'from Maryland to Arizona in the eighth grade'; Univ. of Maryland College Essay
4 - My endeavor for academic excellence has always been fueled by my father's journey to the United States. My father...
UndergraduateDukefool - Dec 29, 2011 / Dukefool - Dec 29, 2011
|'dance allows me to be myself' - JHU- something about yourself
5 - Wow, thank you guys so much for the feedback! Here's my revised version (I really didn't change all that...
Undergraduatenikariotz - Dec 25, 2011 / nikariotz - Dec 29, 2011
|'to persevere and to excel' - NYU Supplement
5 - You use some good language and description in some areas but not others. Try to refrain from saying "thing"...
Undergraduatemaryvisa - Dec 29, 2011 / ibeckki - Dec 29, 2011
|Short UVa Suppliment "what is your favorite place to get lost in and why?"
5 - Cindy I just figured you were saying generally, there is nowhere else, whether in NY or the world,...
Undergraduatecindyw1397 - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011
|CommonApp ExtraCurricular Essay "Bringing a community together"
Undergraduatejebhogiaye - Dec 29, 2011 / sm09 - Dec 29, 2011
|UVA Super short supplement-Pulchritude is my favorite word.
7 - Yusra Much better. The ending was more pow. Maybe you could elaborate more, it feels like its missing...
Undergraduateyusra12 - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011
|Common APP Essay: Luxury VS. Struggle
20 - - I think you should change "grade four" to fourth grade. It has more of a I'm-trying-to-tell-this-story type of...
UndergraduateZhoeK - Dec 27, 2011 / cindyw1397 - Dec 29, 2011
|Film Concept: short film idea - Emerson College
6 - I think it sounds like a fine concept--it's all in how the script is executed. I think focusing on...
Undergraduatejerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011 / summerteeth - Dec 29, 2011
|Cornell Supplement -- Being a doctor, and everything else
3 - thanks! where should I add the additional Cornell information so that it doesn't seem out of place?...
Undergraduateserendipityyy - Dec 29, 2011 / serendipityyy - Dec 29, 2011
|"Chocolate or vanilla?"- person of signficant influence common app essay
3 - Thank you! Yes, I will cut back on my fathers description and transition to his influence me earlier....
Undergraduateshs1123 - Dec 29, 2011 / shs1123 - Dec 29, 2011
|Julius Caesar is one of the most powerful pieces of literature; Amherst College Sup
3 - Hi I'm also working on this Amherst essay. I personally think that you don't need the paragraph of...
UndergraduateAbhaJ19 - Dec 29, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Dec 29, 2011
|Why Upenn - Upenn Supplement 500 word essay
9 - Aromie: thank u very much! Kevin: that definitely helps. Thank u! Looks like I have some more work to...
Undergraduatemamaton - Dec 29, 2011 / mamaton - Dec 29, 2011
|"Who am I? I am...." Boston University Admissions Essay
6 - Diddo to bookbug_xd Your narrative is interesting, just cut down in the initial description. For example take out "a...
Undergraduateflash king - Dec 29, 2011 / Max8 - Dec 29, 2011
|search for career paths - Intellectual vitality essay Stanford Supplement
UndergraduateMax8 - Dec 29, 2011 / Max8 - Dec 29, 2011
|Emerson College Supplement- Life Title
2 - Tanner I think the formality of the essay is neither here nor there since the prompt said stop...
Undergraduatetanner328 - Dec 29, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 29, 2011
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