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|'being a American' - Common APP Achievement Essay
8 - As Theleader said, you need some variety in sentence structure. It doesn't really matter but it'll help with the...
Undergraduatesingh955 - Dec 28, 2011 / seaweedsong - Dec 28, 2011
|MIT: How has your world shaped your dreams?
2 - first sentence: interesting office second sentence: yet was there often. I think yet indicates some sort of contradiction, which...
Undergraduatecupnoodle123 - Dec 28, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 28, 2011
|Columbia Supplement Essays (Why Columbia and Why Biology)
UndergraduateEigenvector - Dec 28, 2011 / music920 - Dec 28, 2011
|'images have lingered to this day' - Cornell College of HumanEc
3 - wow,thats quite a compelling essay. I really like it! it seems Dasadhikari found all the grammer mistakes,and with content...
UndergraduateCollegeHopefuls - Dec 28, 2011 / yusra12 - Dec 28, 2011
|'An extension of life' - JHU supplement essay
UndergraduateJaineel406 - Dec 28, 2011 / Jaineel406 - Dec 28, 2011
|JHU Supplement Essay - MAJORS question
4 - I felt like the first paragraph had some contradicting sentences like how something routine you saw yourself becoming a...
Undergraduatenikariotz - Dec 28, 2011 / Jaineel406 - Dec 28, 2011
|'childlike innocence' - Williams looking through a window supplement
Undergraduatemusic920 - Dec 28, 2011 / Eigenvector - Dec 28, 2011
|Common App Essay: Baking
Undergraduatelolcopters - Dec 28, 2011 / sm09 - Dec 28, 2011
|'Not a random mixture of ethnicities alone' - Common App essay diversity
Undergraduateujax - Dec 26, 2011 / ujax - Dec 28, 2011
|Inituitive- UPenn Essay Prompt Answer
6 - Im applying to Penn too=] i really like it,but i dont think the scenario you give quite fits with...
UndergraduateStrawberry78 - Dec 28, 2011 / yusra12 - Dec 28, 2011
|NYU Tisch dramatic story - introduce yourself; needs shortening
Undergraduateseaweed77 - Dec 28, 2011 / — -
|'smiling at strangers' - stanford essay - what matters to you and why?
Undergraduaterunner57 - Dec 28, 2011 / runner57 - Dec 28, 2011
|'church has been the apple of my eye' MIT: How has your world shaped your dreams?
5 - Maybe discuss a different aspect of your community too, and talk about how the church and say...your school experience......
Undergraduatecupnoodle123 - Dec 28, 2011 / zkachmer - Dec 28, 2011
|New York life / Middlemarch' Dorothea - NYU Supplements
6 - no thanks alot strawberry78, i took alot of your advice it really helped:) would you mind reading my other...
Undergraduateruthyj - Dec 28, 2011 / ruthyj - Dec 28, 2011
|'Blue, Gold, and FTR Spectrometers' - Why Notre Dame
5 - I think you expressed your desire to attend Notre Dame really well :) You are a very good writer...
Undergraduatetwilista - Dec 18, 2011 / rahilsavani - Dec 28, 2011
|$$$ Why Columbia University? Short Response $$$
3 - Hello, As a general rule, if something goes without saying...you shouldn't say it. Your response in this short...
Undergraduatemarcusrschmidt - Dec 28, 2011 / admission2012 - Dec 28, 2011
|Eating Guinea Pigs-Penn Optional
3 - This is excellent writing. I hope the AO reader is not a guinea pig lover who will feel prejudiced...
Undergraduatearianna_muv - Dec 20, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2011
|Need Common app personal essay opinion!
2 - Rephrase your first sentence to make sound like an original thought. You did not really explain your reason for...
Undergraduatebahamuthx - Dec 28, 2011 / Strawberry78 - Dec 28, 2011
|Tufts University personal outlook short essay
3 - Vanessa I agree with EO, focus on three/four qualities and then elaborate. Also the prompt was not limiting...
Undergraduatevanipinto2005 - Dec 28, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 28, 2011
|'get calls from the hospital in the morning' - John's Hopkins Supplement essay
4 - I think you can further tell them about how you think JHU can benefit you...by doing so you can...
UndergraduateJaineel406 - Dec 28, 2011 / desertautumn - Dec 28, 2011
|'Lugogo, Uganda' - Common app essay
Undergraduaterahilsavani - Dec 28, 2011 / rahilsavani - Dec 28, 2011
|'the way humans develop, think' - academic interests and reasons for applying
7 - Great essay! You're showing lots about your personality, both directly and sometimes indirectly. What I would suggest is changing...
UndergraduateMusicforleisure - Dec 28, 2011 / wya7890 - Dec 28, 2011
|Essay about my work as an artist - SAIC
NEW - Prompt: Use your written statement as a way to better represent yourself and your work. Writing is a very...
Undergraduateblackunstlerin - Dec 28, 2011 / — -
|"How can a Chinese boy play guitar" - Common Application
9 - Wow...you have a Les Paul? I am jealous :) I have no complaints whatsoever about your essay. It was...
Undergraduateadmiraljes - Dec 21, 2011 / wya7890 - Dec 28, 2011
|Lehigh supplements - define 'equity' and 'community'
NEW - What unique aspect of Lehigh most interests you? (As a guideline, your response should be between 150-250 words.) ...
Undergraduatedyao123 - Dec 28, 2011 / — -
|'the power to change the world' - What matters to you, and why? Stanford supplement
5 - possibly an example where your ability to speak and communicate has helped others? i realllly like you answer!:)...
Undergraduategurecka - Dec 28, 2011 / ruthyj - Dec 28, 2011
|'Quantum Theory' or 'My summer' - Vitality and Roomate Letter
6 - Did a lot of revision, thoughts on this redone intellectual vitality essay? While studying at Stanford over the...
Undergraduatecharliekdavis - Dec 26, 2011 / charliekdavis - Dec 28, 2011
|'underprivileged children in Burma' - Common application short answer
6 - Here, Erica, I've revised it for you. During the Educational Outreach Project sponsored by the Youth Leadership Association,...
UndergraduateErica Htet - Dec 20, 2011 / rosomp - Dec 28, 2011
|Common App: "Sign Up - Student Council President"
7 - "he was learning the ropes of using a MacBook Pro" just sounds awkward to me. Learning how to use...
UndergraduateGraceTaylorWei - Dec 26, 2011 / nkprasad12 - Dec 28, 2011
|One Round - Common Application Significant Experience essay
Undergraduatenkprasad12 - Dec 28, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 28, 2011
|'Perfect balance' - Fun and Rigor - Why Northwestern Education?
2 - You effectively talk about what qualities of the college appeal to you and give it in great detail with...
Undergraduateflutenerd - Dec 28, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 28, 2011
|Speaking Through Walls - Harvard Essay
Undergraduategarrettmc - Dec 28, 2011 / andymarie - Dec 28, 2011
|Linear Reasoning in Math Competition
4 - This quote doesn't seem to make grammatical sense, did you mean to say teammates in the plural or singular?...
Undergraduatejebhogiaye - Dec 26, 2011 / its_spacely - Dec 28, 2011
|"Why did you pick the emergency room?" - Essay for Common App
Undergraduateasburyceline - Dec 24, 2011 / Strawberry78 - Dec 28, 2011
|'The Mistress of Spices' - common app essay on any topis
3 - thankyou..if could further help me with editing this essay and tell me your opinions abt this essay i would...
Undergraduatemuniraahmed - Dec 28, 2011 / muniraahmed - Dec 28, 2011
|playing "doctor" ; Penn -Medicine as my calling.
Undergraduateyusra12 - Dec 24, 2011 / yusra12 - Dec 28, 2011
|'to strengthen my collaborative studies' - UPENN ESSAY
NEW - Required for all applicants: Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects...
UndergraduatePerfani - Dec 28, 2011 / — -
|'Marlow' - Common App- Character essay
10 - There is something big i see missing from this essay and its the fact that you demonstrate qualities by...
UndergraduateBalanchine - Dec 23, 2011 / Walden - Dec 28, 2011
|"Kaustubh Desai" - Stanford 2: to your new roomate
8 - This is really good, I definitely feel like I get to know you better by reading this. I agree...
UndergraduatelethalityKD - Dec 27, 2011 / flutenerd - Dec 28, 2011
|"I learned patience, perseverance, and dedication" Princeton
3 - Wow I am amazed! Your essay is awesome because instead of telling how the quote of patience, perseverance, and...
Undergraduatejebhogiaye - Dec 28, 2011 / awesomemo - Dec 28, 2011
|'Chemistry' + 'Ivy League' + 'Math and science' - Columbia
5 - Thanks I'll try to put synonyms for the words I repeated alot. Any more comments about strutcture or the...
Undergraduatemohamed459 - Dec 26, 2011 / mohamed459 - Dec 28, 2011
|'Fibonacci in Nature'- Harvard Supp't
8 - Would you mind looking over my other essay? If you're available and have time, of course. Thanks....
UndergraduateBalanchine - Dec 27, 2011 / zman9264 - Dec 28, 2011
|'the emergency room visits' - Common APP essay on Healthcare.
UndergraduateVelth - Dec 28, 2011 / Velth - Dec 28, 2011
|'The origin of us' - Johns Hopkins Supplemental
10 - You're focusing too much on what you want to in the future. Tell the JHU people what you want...
UndergraduateAbhaJ19 - Dec 27, 2011 / DeepaJ19 - Dec 28, 2011
|'Neurophily' - Johns Hopkins Supplemental Essay
6 - Actually I thought the ending was the strong point. How should I change it to make it better? ...
UndergraduateDeepaJ19 - Dec 27, 2011 / DeepaJ19 - Dec 28, 2011
|"One Unassuming Summer Day"- Pomona Supplement
Undergraduategoalgir4 - Dec 28, 2011 / goalgir4 - Dec 28, 2011
|'I call it being strong-willed' + 'Newton laws' - Tufts
4 - agreed. i think your first essay is stronger than the second. but the second one is really creative! i...
Undergraduatemusic920 - Dec 28, 2011 / amadan - Dec 28, 2011
|'The phoenix had found its fire' - Evaluate a significant experience/ achievement.
UndergraduatePrometheus - Dec 28, 2011 / nkprasad12 - Dec 28, 2011
|'Complexity is what makes me great' - Common App Essay
8 - Admissions know people are more than a 500 word essay. Try and pick something significant in your life something...
Undergraduateraslacrosse - Dec 27, 2011 / premed123 - Dec 28, 2011
|'benefits of going out on a limb and trying something new' common app
2 - It says a significant experience. I think you mentioned hiking and Operation Smile. It might be better to focus...
Undergraduatepremed123 - Dec 28, 2011 / Mushrooms - Dec 28, 2011
|'The Lost World' - Johns Hopkins Supplemental Essay
5 - Maybe you said instead say, you want to learn about the environment in which they resided--"lied in" sounds...
UndergraduateDeepaJ19 - Dec 28, 2011 / Prettywings - Dec 28, 2011
|'anatomy, yoga, and nutritional chemistry books' - Johns Hopkins
13 - I actually do mention it again (end of 3rd paragraph). I say that I treated those physical hindrances and...
UndergraduateDesiGirl - Dec 24, 2011 / DesiGirl - Dec 28, 2011
|"How the hell do i do it" Transfer essay to Smith
12 - Hi Menuka! I revised my essay slightly(though longer one named "COMMON APP JAPAN EARTHQUAKE"), and want to hear...
Undergraduatemenukagrg - Dec 23, 2011 / kakari - Dec 28, 2011
|I want to be a farmer- Cornell College of Agriculture and Life Sciences essay
3 - when I would capture any insect unlucky enough to stumble into our apartment and study it for hours. This...
UndergraduateSnake - Dec 28, 2011 / arianna_muv - Dec 28, 2011
|"Embrace the Uncertainty" MY COMMON APP
Undergraduatekakari - Dec 23, 2011 / kakari - Dec 28, 2011
|'Harappa and Mohenjo Daro' - Colgate - Travel to a destination and why
3 - oh amazing! I wish I worte about those two. Yes Harappa and Mohenjadardo are both in Pakistan. Glad to...
Undergraduateprd93 - Dec 21, 2011 / super57 - Dec 28, 2011
|Emerson: Why Not? A Story About The Best Excuse For Doing Anything
2 - Great essay! You are a really strong writer. It seems this college really stresses story telling. I think your...
Undergraduatekayleighlevitt - Dec 28, 2011 / silentspring - Dec 28, 2011
|"Lost at Barnes & Noble"--UVA supplement
2 - When I was little, I could often be found lost in the worlds of books, like 'The Phantom Tollbooth'...
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 28, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 28, 2011
|"Dinesh! Dinesh!" COMMON APP
3 - The team was 3-1 down with five minutes remaining in the game. We were dominating the game, controlling the...
UndergraduateABP - Dec 28, 2011 / kayleighlevitt - Dec 28, 2011
|UChicago Essay - Power of Belief
2 - Leisure is a luxury that men nowadays can afford little of, and much of a man's leisure hours are...
Undergraduateprd93 - Dec 28, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 28, 2011
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