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|'a volunteer work in a village' - williams college supplement
Undergraduatem45over - Dec 27, 2011 / armanigates - Dec 27, 2011
|Common App Essay- Influential -My Grandfather's Hands
2 - Your essay will definitely melt the reader. It is full of emotional connotations and shows the superiority of your...
UndergraduateHarini - Dec 27, 2011 / lethalityKD - Dec 27, 2011
|'I love music.' - Yale - tell us something we don't already know
5 - Thanks so much for all your critique! I will definitely work to make this more formal and focused good...
Undergraduatepostscript94 - Dec 26, 2011 / postscript94 - Dec 27, 2011
|My theater experiences - W&M supplement
4 - I enjoyed reading your essay and the anecdote at the beginning is really strong i agree with the previous...
Undergraduateproudtitania - Dec 26, 2011 / postscript94 - Dec 27, 2011
|'true lover of nature' - Pomona: Something You've done for fun and why
3 - Grammar wise, I couldn't find any problems. There are parts that you can tighten your diction though ...
UndergraduateAlikap - Dec 27, 2011 / Rennir - Dec 27, 2011
|"No one knows me"; Purdue admission/Envision yourself
Undergraduateepark - Dec 27, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 27, 2011
|'the global business network' - Penn supplemental
2 - 1. you showed doubt at the very beginning!! c'mon...there are 2 mistakes during essays equal to a suicide, a....
Undergraduatemukhia08 - Dec 27, 2011 / Noobzilla - Dec 27, 2011
|"taylor ham" - Common App
4 - In addition to what the others said, your little blurb at the end should show something about you, not...
Undergraduateibeckki - Dec 27, 2011 / nkprasad12 - Dec 27, 2011
|'contradictions in my interests' - essay to my future roommate
3 - I really like your third paragraph. That one is by far the most personal and tells the reader the...
Undergraduateclairem - Dec 27, 2011 / mwitkin - Dec 27, 2011
|My passion in politics - Common App essay
3 - I'll change the verb tense here: Before that, I was had been a typical... student in Cambodia...
Undergraduateyobobo - Dec 18, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2011
|'the part we choose to act on' - BROWN: MOMENT WHEN PERSPECTIVE CHANGED
Undergraduatecollegesearcher - Dec 21, 2011 / collegesearcher - Dec 27, 2011
|Nelson Mandela; Common App- historical figure
Undergraduatekimmie11194 - Dec 26, 2011 / kimmie11194 - Dec 27, 2011
|'successful business' + 'stock market+ 'listing off renowned artists' NYUs
5 - I like your first essay. When I read it, you showed yourself as determined, strong minded, and confident while...
Undergraduatethes1tuation - Dec 27, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 27, 2011
|MIT Short: (Rubik's Cubes) - Something you do for the pleasure of it
9 - I stare wildly at my Rubik's cube, trying to figure out how to best solve the puzzle. After a...
Undergraduatenkprasad12 - Dec 27, 2011 / nkprasad12 - Dec 27, 2011
|'Going to good university' - OH state U essay
Undergraduateepark - Dec 27, 2011 / epark - Dec 27, 2011
|'my dad's past experiences' - Common app essay
Undergraduatemohamed459 - Dec 23, 2011 / mohamed459 - Dec 27, 2011
|'Education is limitless' - short answer- co-curricular activity (Teaching)
3 - Janvi I think your essay is very well written and shows how tutoring has affected and improved you...
Undergraduateleviator - Dec 27, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 27, 2011
|NYU Supplement " Coming from Upstate NY..." "For me, a hotel is not just a place ..."
2 - Assuming this is for the NYU Supplement on the Common App, the character limit is only 1500, and you're...
Undergraduatecodus0320 - Dec 27, 2011 / jessie_hamilton - Dec 27, 2011
|MENTOS AND COKE? CHILDHOOD STORIES :D Cornell Secondary Essay
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 27, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 27, 2011
|"Piano and Ballet": Tufts supplement. Very Short!
4 - @deremifri-thank you! I will try to look at your essay when I get a chance. @Zhoek-your revisions made my...
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 27, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 27, 2011
|Why choose nursing as a career? - nursingcas personal statment
3 - One of the weakness I felt in my essay is that there might be too many extraneous details when...
Undergraduategimme_more_plx - Dec 26, 2011 / gimme_more_plx - Dec 27, 2011
|"Today's Economy/Moving"- Education interrupted
NEW - Hi, thanks for reading and stop by to view my essay. I've written an essay explaining why I changed...
Undergraduatecatty121 - Dec 27, 2011 / — -
|'moment I have in badminton' Common App Activities Short Answer
NEW - Prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character...
UndergraduateSuzhou - Dec 27, 2011 / — -
|'not aware of the responsibility' - Common App Short Answer about volunteering
3 - After school, I went to ROCK, Reaching Out, Challenging Kids, to help the people who need to raise their...
Undergraduatestars93 - Dec 26, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 27, 2011
|'a destroyer of things'- Pennsylvania School of Engineering and Applied Science essay
5 - I like that you include your interest in humanities courses. Penn wants aspiring polymaths not just people who specialize...
UndergraduateMushrooms - Dec 27, 2011 / wahmed - Dec 27, 2011
|Johns Hopkins- Conveying Emotion Through Music
Undergraduatewahmed - Dec 27, 2011 / wahmed - Dec 27, 2011
|Why I Joined MUN (Model United Nations) EC Essay - Common app
Undergraduateadmiraljes - Dec 25, 2011 / mwitkin - Dec 27, 2011
|'exposed to many places and societies' - Upenn Essay
Undergraduatewarcraft - Dec 27, 2011 / warcraft - Dec 27, 2011
|'I went to Vietnam last year' - Common App
Undergraduatejult94 - Dec 27, 2011 / phhai - Dec 27, 2011
|'basketball, softball fan' + 'the arts' + 'working' + 'action' Syracuse Supplements
NEW - There are four essay things here, its long and intimidating, but you dont have to edit all, any feedback...
Undergraduatencorc - Dec 27, 2011 / — -
|'the technological industry' - University of Pennsylvania Supplement
Undergraduatedtulio - Dec 27, 2011 / postscript94 - Dec 27, 2011
|'lived in the South' + 'We did it, roommate' + 'dumb' - Stanford
5 - It's great that you put personality into your essays--I'm sure admissions will thank you for that. I would like...
Undergraduatehki42997 - Dec 24, 2011 / pinkstarbaby - Dec 27, 2011
|Columbia supplement, "undecided but leaning towards biology"
4 - I think its really good, love the way how you linked the two. your experience with your grandfather was...
Undergraduatedjpralex - Dec 23, 2011 / mukhia08 - Dec 27, 2011
|'notice to become a School Ambassador' - Common App EC Short Answer
3 - Reiterating what admission2012 has said, that part of the application is a way for universities to see you outside...
Undergraduatehopeful11 - Dec 27, 2011 / pinkstarbaby - Dec 27, 2011
|'fiddling with tech' - Mit Essays
UndergraduateMohammedAmr - Dec 27, 2011 / admission2012 - Dec 27, 2011
|'helping the community' - What learn from and contribute to the Penn Community
3 - I like the main ideas of your essay, but they all seem a little bit ordinary and bland. (Sorry,...
Undergraduatepitt4life01 - Dec 25, 2011 / admiraljes - Dec 27, 2011
|'Happiness on a Platter' - Common App, Activitie Short Answer
4 - I agree with Lishan - I love the imagery and details, but perhaps relate it back to how cooking...
UndergraduateTopEffort - Nov 18, 2011 / GraceTaylorWei - Dec 27, 2011
|Career in Medicine-WashU University Scholars Program essay
4 - You're an awesome writer! This was engaging throughout and answered the prompt quite well. A few spots that confused...
Undergraduateseni012 - Dec 26, 2011 / nkprasad12 - Dec 27, 2011
|'I do not call myself an actress' - NYU short essay
3 - No offence. I have to say that the second essay sounds strange. It is like an anticlimax. Experience of...
Undergraduatecorn0330 - Dec 22, 2011 / ZTH0908123 - Dec 27, 2011
|the word "accept" - UVA your favorite word and why
4 - Lol, this prompt is annoying but it also has a ton of room for creativity. The reason why your...
Undergraduateakulz - Dec 27, 2011 / seni012 - Dec 27, 2011
|'the peacefulness of my backyard' - What Matters and Why? "PB&J"
Undergraduatearticuno - Dec 24, 2011 / glamazing - Dec 27, 2011
|'How to not be a failure' LACs (Dart, CMC, Bowdoin), Cornell, Gtown
3 - I like the idea a lot, its great. The only problem I see is that your thoughts are disconnected...
Undergraduateikxchan - Dec 26, 2011 / AnnaAmy - Dec 27, 2011
|'Knowledge' - Stanford: What matters to you, and why?
4 - I understand completely. Luckily, I'm not applying to Stanford haha. Thanks for your feedback!...
UndergraduateRene00 - Dec 27, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 27, 2011
|My Time Doing Debate - Common App significant experience essay
3 - The potential for this essay is great but the execution needs more work. I suggest you rearrange the beginning....
Undergraduatenkprasad12 - Dec 26, 2011 / seni012 - Dec 27, 2011
|"Bobble Head Britney" Common App Essay
6 - Lightbulb: Should I maybe like talk about myself through the eyes of my bobble britney? I wouldn't have change...
Undergraduatehki42997 - Dec 26, 2011 / hki42997 - Dec 27, 2011
|What matters to you? Fuzzy Socks. (+ stanford letter to roommate)
12 - Well, for your letter to your roommate, if you feel confident and cool about it, and that listing part...
Undergraduate12lewisa - Dec 23, 2011 / StevenWong206 - Dec 27, 2011
|(Humanities most profitable ventures) What matters to you and why? -- Stanford
Undergraduateinventor1488 - Dec 25, 2011 / Walden - Dec 27, 2011
|'a sweet tooth for the independent life' -Describe One Activity
10 - I like this! it's funny while getting to the point. Please read mine if you have the chance!...
UndergraduateGraceTaylorWei - Dec 24, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 26, 2011
|'not only legos' + 'life's unpredictability' - Stanford Intellectual Vitality
UndergraduateXavier19 - Dec 25, 2011 / Walden - Dec 26, 2011
|'My Indian origin' - Brown Supplement
6 - You're not showing at all, just telling. The only really specific example you give is the second to last...
Undergraduatenr554 - Dec 26, 2011 / nkprasad12 - Dec 26, 2011
|MIT "language" challenge
3 - Keep in mind that there's probably a lot of kids who wrote about a language barrier. If you made...
Undergraduatedjpralex - Dec 26, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 26, 2011
|Spunky, Scorching, Shimmering Summers Supplement Essay for Princeton University
4 - In my opinion, it is a little too detailed and long. Maybe you should consider cutting it. You only...
UndergraduateStarEvangeline - Dec 24, 2011 / SeniorMel - Dec 26, 2011
|'My Percussion Playing Experience'&'My Drama Club Experience' Common App Short Answer
Undergraduatemaggiez93 - Dec 26, 2011 / maggiez93 - Dec 26, 2011
|'my offer of friendship to you' - Stanford - Note to Roommate
3 - You might try to group the moves into one by only mentioning the first move and replacing the next...
UndergraduateIndy95 - Dec 25, 2011 / Walden - Dec 26, 2011
|Iron Chef America, Skydiving, Why Notre Dame?
UndergraduateSeniorMel - Dec 26, 2011 / SeniorMel - Dec 26, 2011
|Tufts Supplement Essays - "Let your life speak" and "The world within"
3 - I guess i think this needs to be developed a little more. It's just a discussion of diversity;...
Undergraduateajliu84 - Dec 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2011
|Why Columbia - "Research + Civic Engagement"
5 - Yea, I 86'd the last paragraph, and I'm currently working on a new ending. I'll post it here when...
UndergraduateDMA17 - Dec 23, 2011 / DMA17 - Dec 26, 2011
|'Academy of Information Technology' -Carnegie Mellon Essay (business and technology)
Undergraduatehellokittyhello - Dec 26, 2011 / SeniorMel - Dec 26, 2011
|'lying on the bed and reading a book' - MIT pleasure essay
6 - I also like the second essay. The first was more of not unique..comparably, the second essay has a great...
Undergraduatekruthimohan - Dec 24, 2011 / watermark - Dec 26, 2011
|'close knit and diverse Colby family' - Why Colby?
Undergraduatedhanu12 - Dec 24, 2011 / watermark - Dec 26, 2011
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