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|'The desire to be free' - German needs help with MIT essay
Undergraduatederemifri - Dec 25, 2011 / admission2012 - Dec 26, 2011
|Why I Love Physics- Common App Essay
2 - I loved your essay but remember colleges are looking for an essay that reflects who you are, why you...
Undergraduateraslacrosse - Dec 26, 2011 / Hilianas94 - Dec 26, 2011
|'in the middle of a war zone' - Common App extra curricular essay
5 - If you apply for a really competitive school you should not use this. For an average school the approach...
Undergraduateglamazing - Dec 26, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 26, 2011
|'The office workers' - Common App EC essay about debate
11 - Thank you very much guys! @ zhaoyihao, thanks for pointing that out. It's fixed. @kwikandrew, thank you :) @cherrybomb94,...
Undergraduatedesm2012 - Dec 25, 2011 / desm2012 - Dec 26, 2011
|'good stories in my head' - NYU Supplement essays
2 - Hi Dylan, I really like the end of this essay because it comes across confidently. However, the rest...
UndergraduateSilverbrush - Dec 26, 2011 / tcohen - Dec 26, 2011
|"I did not see the point in art" - Common App
2 - "instead, while rather plain and simple, yet it is one of the most inspiring paintings I have ever seen...
Undergraduatemsaenz - Dec 26, 2011 / articuno - Dec 26, 2011
|'we live in a very unpredictable world' - the world u come from-MIT essay 250 words
5 - It at times sounds like you are just listing adjectives that make you look like a good and intelligent...
Undergraduatearceus - Dec 26, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 26, 2011
|'intellectual and fun place' - Why Tufts?
4 - Tufts seem to be a place which is intellectual and at the same time fun, even Tuft's traditions,...
Undergraduaterasim99 - Dec 16, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2011
|'Life is the most important thing' - Why Major Essay
3 - Thanks for the feedback. I implied that I thought salmonella is fatal, and that is how I knew so...
UndergraduateRiceAllTheWhey - Dec 26, 2011 / RiceAllTheWhey - Dec 26, 2011
|The ugly princess. Common App Essay
10 - Really great writing, it really shows your personality. You should not use masterpiece two times. do not remember a...
Undergraduatesuper57 - Dec 18, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 26, 2011
|'No Buzz Lightning' - Common App Personal Statement
6 - Thank you so much everyone for your critique, but I have actually decided this essay does not do a...
Undergraduateglamazing - Dec 26, 2011 / glamazing - Dec 26, 2011
|'aerospace engineer' - commonapp personal-umich application
2 - Do you tell a woman that she is your second choice? Well, you should avoid this in applications. Do...
Undergraduateemrebond007 - Dec 26, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 26, 2011
|'the weird little things that define me' - Tufts Supplement Question 3
7 - The last phrase, while grammatically correct, makes the sentence kind of awkward. I'm not sure you even need...
Undergraduatektbillings2 - Dec 26, 2011 / Rennir - Dec 26, 2011
|'family has nine houses' - about how I change my perception
6 - Thank alot guys, I'll improve my essay and post the revised version soon! Again, thank you so so much!!...
Undergraduatelinhnguyen2112 - Dec 26, 2011 / linhnguyen2112 - Dec 26, 2011
|'a country known only for its war' - CommonApp - Significant Event (Sri Lanka)
5 - Thank you very much for all the feedback. Really appreciate it! :) @Hussein: Yes that is exactly what...
Undergraduateclaude - Dec 26, 2011 / claude - Dec 26, 2011
|Common App Essay: Running my Own Business
2 - I think that the fact that you started your own business at fifteen will impress any admissions officer no...
Undergraduatethes1tuation - Dec 26, 2011 / Alikap - Dec 26, 2011
|'My brother breathes life into our home' - UMBC ESSAY
Undergraduatemorecelery - Dec 10, 2011 / agronr - Dec 26, 2011
|Stanford Roommate Essay--Blank Slate
4 - 'My name is'..you forgot the is! I like the essay, but I would advice you not to oversell yourself...
UndergraduateXavier19 - Dec 24, 2011 / glamazing - Dec 26, 2011
|'Time is what matters' - What matters to you - stanford supp
4 - It seems as though the bigger words here are just to impress the readers, but don't really hold much...
Undergraduateagronr - Dec 26, 2011 / morecelery - Dec 26, 2011
|Common App- a creative work (The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost)
6 - I would advise to make the language in the first paragraph more colorful. However, don't change it to the...
Undergraduatekruthimohan - Dec 24, 2011 / dychung7 - Dec 26, 2011
|'the Courrpution Perception Index' - Claremont Mckenna Supplement essay
UndergraduateAlikap - Dec 21, 2011 / Alikap - Dec 26, 2011
|'lifelong relationships' - Brown supplement- Something you created
6 - I think that your ideas are good. Add a personal touch to it, your flair. maybe a short phrase...
Undergraduatezkachmer - Dec 23, 2011 / boom - Dec 26, 2011
|'Nobody can go back' - Personal essay on a significant experience
7 - Typically speaking, admission committees are more concerned with sentence structure, grammar, etc. than with vocabulary acrobatics. Oftentimes, less...
Undergraduateagronr - Dec 24, 2011 / Prettywings - Dec 26, 2011
|NYC, Ms. Clark, High-Five, HEOP Scholars - Barnard replies
7 - i agree with the comment before. i applied to Barnard as well. more than talking about being helpful and...
Undergraduatemaryp630 - Dec 23, 2011 / boom - Dec 26, 2011
|'Economics - my big passion' - NUS admission process
4 - Economics is my big passion. Please allow me to show because You will never think it is just ordinary...
Undergraduateibejunpyu - Dec 26, 2011 / ibejunpyu - Dec 26, 2011
|'constructing skyscrapers, bridges, large dams' - NUS Essay
3 - I agree with the above comment, i think it's a boring essay, you should give the intrigues or something...
Undergraduateaha123 - Dec 17, 2011 / ibejunpyu - Dec 26, 2011
|roommate / intellectual / what matters - Stanford supplement essays
7 - Good Luck!...
Undergraduatearbrelibre - Dec 19, 2011 / RGarvey - Dec 26, 2011
|"SET" - COMMON APP - 498 words.
6 - First, "As an Indian student, adventure ran in my veins; So I decided to move to a more credible...
Undergraduatedevansh1411 - Dec 26, 2011 / kakari - Dec 26, 2011
|'the heat was unbearable' - Richmond University Supplement Essay
11 - "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." I think this part should be placed after conclusion because some eminent...
UndergraduateNoobzilla - Dec 25, 2011 / kakari - Dec 26, 2011
|'I came to this world without anything' - Brown Supplement Essay
4 - I agree with domi that maybe you should write more specific things, show an alive "you" to the admission...
Undergraduatesh1ta - Dec 19, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Dec 26, 2011
|"Dad won't be happy" Lehigh University: WHY US?
UndergraduateNoobzilla - Dec 26, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 26, 2011
|'religion and history' Lafayette - Why are you interested in Lafayette College?
9 - Lishan Yes that makes a whole lot of sense. Lafayette's emphasis on research will also, prepare me...
UndergraduateRavenclaw_roar - Dec 23, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 26, 2011
|'anatomy and physiology' - Columbia favorite class
3 - Hey! Thanks for reading my essay. For yours, I think that the beginning conversation between you and your sister...
Undergraduatesilentspring - Dec 25, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 26, 2011
|'A Proud Accomplishment' - experience common app
4 - Loved your essay, the writing is truly brilliant, although I did spot two awkward phrases -"Normally at my age...
Undergraduateoreoreal - Dec 26, 2011 / glamazing - Dec 26, 2011
|(Buddhist stories) Stanford Supp Essay---intellectual development"ancient arts"
6 - I have nothing to add after cupnoodle123's corrections. as she said, you could mention how the stories relate to...
UndergraduateChihiroLavi - Dec 25, 2011 / agronr - Dec 26, 2011
|'game designer and game director' Art Institute Essay
2 - AGAIN IT MAY BE JUST ME...the content is ok but essay is kinda boring...too dry for my taste...i always...
Undergraduatepatpatpat - Dec 26, 2011 / Noobzilla - Dec 26, 2011
|'I love sports' - Boston few things you should like to share about yourself?
Undergraduatekwikandrew - Dec 26, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Dec 26, 2011
|'only who I am' - common app essay "WHO I AM"
UndergraduateChihiroLavi - Dec 18, 2011 / kwikandrew - Dec 26, 2011
|Shape me by shaping others- Brown RD Essay supplements
3 - I completely agree with Lishan. I think that the admissions officers know that you want to go to brown...
Undergraduatearianna_muv - Dec 26, 2011 / tcohen - Dec 26, 2011
|'the ability of adjusting and thriving in new situations' - Common App
Undergraduatehayleyhowe - Dec 25, 2011 / mukhia08 - Dec 26, 2011
|'I tried to forget the piano' Topic of your Choice
UndergraduateTopEffort - Dec 26, 2011 / mukhia08 - Dec 26, 2011
|(culture, language) Tufts Essay: Consider the World Within
Undergraduaterifatmursalin - Dec 26, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 26, 2011
|'Drawing is my guilty pleasure' - Johns Hopkins
11 - I like the many aspects of drwaing that you explore hear...from creativity/liberation to understahding more about yourself and others...perhaps...
UndergraduateRamo - Dec 24, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 26, 2011
|NUS - 'Struggling from zero'
3 - makman09 Yes, the correct answer, i'm an english learner, okey i'll try to repair my essay, thx...
Undergraduateibejunpyu - Dec 26, 2011 / ibejunpyu - Dec 26, 2011
|'tradition was expectation' - Penn Supplement
3 - Hello! First off, LOVE what you have to say about tradition!! Your writing is great, and so are your...
UndergraduatemaybeAhoya - Dec 26, 2011 / jujugo85 - Dec 26, 2011
|UChicago prompt about meditation- between living and dreaming there is a third thing
2 - Hey DJ! I actually applied to Uchi as well and spent hoursssss and dayssss writing on this prompt, only...
Undergraduatejr_disk_jockey - Dec 26, 2011 / jujugo85 - Dec 26, 2011
|Cornell ILR supplement: passion for efficiency
3 - Describe your intellectual interests , their evolution ----> how you became interested in these , and what makes them...
Undergraduatesean111 - Dec 20, 2011 / jujugo85 - Dec 26, 2011
|Stanford Essay. Roomie... Here I come.
7 - "Lucky me"? wouldn't he say "lucky him"? the bold part also reads rather choppily. you may want...
Undergraduatemetalstriker - Dec 25, 2011 / inventor1488 - Dec 26, 2011
|'Parasailing made me realize my potential' - significant experience/risk
2 - The idea you have is really good and the unconventional way of expressing the lesson you learned is very...
Undergraduateemicha25 - Dec 25, 2011 / marvinapenguin - Dec 26, 2011
|"The Core Curriculum": my Why Columbia essay
3 - I agree with the above- comment. You are a stronger writer. I am sure Columbia will like your insight...
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 25, 2011 / silentspring - Dec 25, 2011
|(never one for change) essay#1 and (study buddy) BU roommate
Undergraduateshinsley - Dec 24, 2011 / shinsley - Dec 25, 2011
|'Poetry consumes me' - My Common App Essay
Undergraduatericka123 - Dec 22, 2011 / selloway - Dec 25, 2011
|'the Justice department' - Stanford Supplement - What matters to you, and why?
UndergraduateStevenWong206 - Dec 23, 2011 / Balanchine - Dec 25, 2011
|'I want to be different and go to college' - experience and its impact on you
11 - Thanks! Are there any grammar mistakes? If somebody can help me out, I'd greatly appreciate it and I can...
Undergraduateerndawg - Dec 19, 2011 / erndawg - Dec 25, 2011
|'I often feel sorry for my dad' - Common App Essay Influential person
Undergraduatejimmytangy - Dec 25, 2011 / jimmytangy - Dec 25, 2011
|William & Mary Supplement: Beyond academics and extracurriculars
2 - I glanced over my porch's overstep and saw a discarded copy of the Los Angeles Times,. I would normally...
UndergraduateUwaiting - Dec 25, 2011 / Balanchine - Dec 25, 2011
|'My grandfather for me was the best gift' - COMMON APP QUESTION
Undergraduatemukhia08 - Dec 25, 2011 / mukhia08 - Dec 25, 2011
|'Flushed' + 'I am exhausted' - Extra Curricular activities essays
15 - Coolio....I will submit the second one. But i am going to try to write another one and let's see...
Undergraduatemenukagrg - Dec 23, 2011 / menukagrg - Dec 25, 2011
|(Human Ecology + Arts and Science) - Cornell Essays
Undergraduaterpendyala - Dec 25, 2011 / rpendyala - Dec 25, 2011
|'never agree with my friends out of fear' - Yale Supplement Essay Help
Undergraduatesaints13 - Dec 25, 2011 / saints13 - Dec 25, 2011
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