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|Lehigh Essay. What do you and Lehigh have in common?
8 - @Holt Hey, I tried to change the last paragraph according to your comments, what do you think about...
Undergraduatealexgzm - Dec 24, 2016 / alexgzm - Dec 26, 2016
|Tufts Essays: What Will They Know About Me/What Can I Improve?
2 - @mgbseventeen Hi, I think you should remove two of your supplement essays because essayforum just allows one...
Undergraduatemgbseventeen - Dec 25, 2016 / mualla - Dec 25, 2016
|My faith diminished. CalTech Ethical Dilemma essay
2 - Nadun, your response is more suited towards prompts 1, 3, and 4. Any of those prompts can benefit from...
UndergraduateC00k1eM0nster - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Intersection of the Language and Mind - "Why NYU?" Supplement
5 - Kevin, in the last paragraph, you make mention of wishing to continue doing research at NYU. It would be...
Undergraduatekc1099 - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Why are you interested in attending Gatech
4 - Ngene, there is nothing in your essay that clearly indicates your choice for GAtech. You are speaking of information...
Undergraduategeniz - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|My birthmark (which I thought was malignant) fueled my scientific curiosity - Common App Essay
8 - @kc1099 Nope, it's good that you have ECs in research to back up your claim, and your essay is...
Undergraduatekc1099 - Dec 24, 2016 / angeli6778 - Dec 25, 2016
|Thrill interspersed with some doubts - CSID application
6 - I do apologize if my suggestion may inappropriate due to lack of writing skill ability. 1. Last sentence...
Undergraduateshuprova - Dec 25, 2016 / ahmadmaulinnaufa - Dec 25, 2016
|Nepal matters. Am I on the right track of this essay ?
6 - Hi Nanda, Congratulations for being a concerned citizen and caring about your country's needs. Just re-phrasing what...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Dec 25, 2016 / mualla - Dec 25, 2016
|COLLABORATION AND THE TECHNOLOGICAL REVOLUTION
9 - I am not saying that one presentation would be better than the other. What I am saying is that...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Long division and logarithms are not for me - what in exchange?
5 - Shuprova, I believe the prompt demands a more critical condition when you were completely opposed towards a principle/idea...
Undergraduateshuprova - Dec 25, 2016 / nandasharma - Dec 25, 2016
|Is my personal statement "personal" enough? Does it tell the readers who I am? (Common App prompt 2)
5 - Khatan, well, don't trash this essay just yet. You may find it useful when you least expect it when...
Undergraduatekhatanbuuveibold - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Tufts supplement: Something that I created
Undergraduatengokhoa99 - Dec 24, 2016 / ngokhoa99 - Dec 25, 2016
|'Can I be the next team captain?' A bizarre situation and my reaction
Undergraduateshuprova - Dec 25, 2016 / nandasharma - Dec 25, 2016
|Yale Supplement: Having fun with learning something
5 - @Holt Thank you so much again! I will no doubt be seeking your critique many times in this last...
Undergraduateangeli6778 - Dec 24, 2016 / angeli6778 - Dec 25, 2016
|Rice Perspective Essay - Publishing My First Story
2 - Viktoria, you don't really respond to the prompt properly. What you have written is best suited for a background,...
Undergraduatevicktoriaria - Dec 25, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|The birth of an unprecedented lifetime bond. Amherst supplement quote response.
8 - Definitely your best work to date regarding the response to the prompt. It is as complete and concise as...
Undergraduatebenmed23 - Dec 20, 2016 / Holt - Dec 25, 2016
|Interested in NYU Global Public Health - Culture and Health!
4 - Dana, believe it or not, your final paragraph in the current essay is the best response that you can...
Undergraduatec4imlle - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
|UGRAD. Learning through sharing experience and knowledge with other individual, group and community
UndergraduateMehraz Hossain - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
|Rice University Perspective Essay - Being Too Young.
2 - Lyssa, look, you have told too much of the bad side of being an underage person in your country...
Undergraduateshevildevil - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
|Particular interest in economics and psychology - Cornell Supplement
5 - Sung, don't do that. Always develop a new essay for each university, even if it pertains to the same...
Undergraduateraijin93 - Dec 23, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
|The photography breaks linguistic and cultural barriers
3 - Nicholas, this essay in my opinion, is divided in focus. It talks more about your camera and your experiences...
Undergraduatenicolaschae - Dec 23, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
|Unworthy Champion - the National Competition
4 - Huy, you don't really need the long explanation about UCMAS in the second paragraph. It only makes the essay...
Undergraduateduchuy1999 - Dec 23, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
|Why Tufts: On religions and compassions
26 - Okay. Thank you!...
Undergraduatengokhoa99 - Dec 21, 2016 / ngokhoa99 - Dec 23, 2016
|'Hospital hallways' - supplement- Academic goals
3 - You should perhaps mention the issues related to unborn babies and how you would fight for their rights to...
Undergraduatekarinaestrada16 - Oct 17, 2012 / Rich Monte - Dec 23, 2016
|The eagerness to know and try many different things - personal statement
Undergraduateradwatourky - Dec 23, 2016 / — -
|Leaving China and seeking for a greater perspective - transfer essay, CS major, Common app
2 - Moahua, The story about the eye opening experience that you had in summer school does run a bit long...
UndergraduateEthanwmh - Dec 23, 2016 / Holt - Dec 23, 2016
|A support system to succeed at Georgia Tech
2 - Juan, what kind of mentor are you planning on becoming? Depending upon whether you will become a research mentor,...
UndergraduateJuanSebastianR - Dec 23, 2016 / Holt - Dec 23, 2016
|Barnard college supplemtals//Why Barnard//Woman in History//Majoring in Unafraid
2 - Breonna, the forum has a one essay per thread ruling. That means I can only review the first essay...
Undergraduatebosuegbu - Dec 23, 2016 / Holt - Dec 23, 2016
|My blackness. Common Application Essay: Problem you'd like to solve - limiting circumstances
4 - Breonna, rather than making a socio-political statement in this essay, you should be focusing your story on the possible...
Undergraduatebosuegbu - Dec 22, 2016 / Holt - Dec 23, 2016
|Rampant cheating; everyone reaped what they sowed. Caltech ethical dilemma Essay
3 - Yamen, the reason that this essay is underwhelming when you read it is because you decided not to do...
UndergraduateBobRoss - Dec 22, 2016 / Holt - Dec 23, 2016
|Etcetera: the most mysterious word in the English language.
Undergraduatembyram - Dec 22, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
|How being Asian American has made me who I am
2 - Wang, what are we talking about here? Are you responding to a college application prompt? Or is this an...
Undergraduateth3_wang - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
|CHANGE AMERICA SCHOLARSHIP - FILM and Television major
3 - I agree with Holt. You should stick to one specific cause that is very meaningful to you and talk...
UndergraduateiSasha - Dec 21, 2016 / mubdis99 - Dec 22, 2016
|Common App Essay: My experience as a Volunteer EMT
4 - Neena, cut this paragraph. Make it end at the point where you discuss Biomedical Engineering. That offers the most...
UndergraduateNEENA1234 - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
|UIUC-Transfer Essay- Talk about your motivation and how will the university help fulfill your goals
4 - Johnny, do not talk about the cost of education as you have in your last paragraph. That is irrelevant...
UndergraduateJo1nnyJiang - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
|My overwhelming passion for bead making
UndergraduateOkoye ijeoma - Dec 21, 2016 / Okoye ijeoma - Dec 21, 2016
|My role as the first child of my family
3 - @Holt Thank you very much for your advice and expert perusal, I sincerely appreciate it. To be very honest,...
UndergraduateOsiremiza99 - Dec 21, 2016 / Osiremiza99 - Dec 21, 2016
|BEING CURIOUS EVEN MORE. I am requesting help on my common app personal statement
Undergraduateaimuhire - Dec 21, 2016 / aimuhire - Dec 21, 2016
|Raising questions about the workings of the cosmos
5 - That might help. I can't be sure at the moment because I do not know what additional information you...
Undergraduatesaluranjha - Dec 21, 2016 / Holt - Dec 21, 2016
|Our effort makes our future. Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?
2 - Aida, there is nothing in your response that proves your excellence or ability to succeed as a UGrad program...
Undergraduateaidamt - Dec 21, 2016 / Holt - Dec 21, 2016
|"Veracity may count against you in this sophisticated society." Bryn Mawr College Supplement Essay.
3 - @saluranjha Thank you! I will have a look at your essay. Thank you @Bolt. I will surely take in...
Undergraduatephuonguyenvt - Dec 21, 2016 / phuonguyenvt - Dec 21, 2016
|What qualities that I possess could possibly add value to your community? To be honest, I don't know
10 - The majority of your essay deals with how you did not accomplish anything because you were afraid of challenge....
UndergraduateDeadspawn11 - Dec 20, 2016 / realtalk - Dec 21, 2016
|'I am determined to invent invulnerable systems' - Engineering College Supplemental Essay. (650)
5 - @Holt I made the following change for clarification of my "Merging Nanoscience with CyberSecurity" purpose. Moreover, the infrastructures...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Dec 20, 2016 / nandasharma - Dec 21, 2016
|The UGA faculty has determined that the student body should demonstrate the qualities listed in the
UndergraduateThe_iKick - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 21, 2016
|Review on the "Saving Private Ryan" Spielberg movie
4 - @dmitrology Hi Dmitri, I agree with Holt that you should add more about your personal experiences into the essay....
Undergraduatedmitrology - Dec 20, 2016 / xuesun - Dec 21, 2016
|A brand new step for a giant stride - my first time abroad
3 - @Holt Hi, I really appreciate your review and thank you for your advice. So, here I already revised...
UndergraduateDreamchaser - Dec 19, 2016 / Dreamchaser - Dec 20, 2016
|Reason of becoming a Hokie - I love everything about it. Application essay for Virginia Tech
3 - Krishna, let's get something straight here. You cannot make vague pronouncements such as "award winning faculty" in an essay...
UndergraduateKrishKoirala - Dec 20, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|A positive change in Dominicana. Summer Health Professions Education Program Diversity Essay
3 - Brayan, your narrative touches the heart but does not allow you to respond to the prompt in an accurate...
Undergraduatebrayan1996 - Dec 20, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|The simple (maybe the silly ;) things in life make me happy
4 - Mualla, remove the reference to the Turkish TV character. If the reviewer is not familiar with him or the...
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 20, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|DUKE - Why? If I became a Blue Devil... My love for photojournalism
3 - Katie, what the prompt is asking you to do is present some common factors that exist between you and...
UndergraduatePizza - Dec 20, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|Personal Statement--My childhood dream...was a luxury to me
6 - @martinmengqian I am determined to learn how~ also, your accomplishment in the last paragraph could seem a little...
Undergraduatemartinmengqian - Dec 19, 2016 / realtalk - Dec 20, 2016
|Boston College Supplemental Essay- Physics is a part of me!
Undergraduatendushaj - Dec 17, 2016 / realtalk - Dec 20, 2016
|I want to become Boilermaker / the "Ger" district in Mongolia. WHY PURDUE?
3 - Bat, I will only be responding to the first statement that you wrote for reasons that Jessica already previously...
Undergraduatebmb_orgil - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|I love making smoothies; they make me happy-Supplements for Yale and Tufts
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 2, 2016 / mualla - Dec 20, 2016
|Describe how you plan to pursue your academic interests at USC.
5 - The first part of the essay is not appealing at all. Try to integrate a hook or something that...
UndergraduateJessica Xie - Dec 19, 2016 / brayan1996 - Dec 19, 2016
|I dream of becoming an innovator in aerospace exploration. Syracuse supplement
4 - @cssaasy Hi!! I think your second part is really good, as it illustrates well how it can help...
Undergraduatecssaasy - Dec 19, 2016 / Jessica Xie - Dec 19, 2016
|I want to invent new gadgets and software, be a problem solver, and make peoples' life easier
9 - Well, you don't really need to mention the name of your computer teacher. A simple reference to the teacher...
UndergraduateCyanogenVivax - Dec 18, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|Just keep swimming - UVA prompt - a quote that inspires you and can inspire others
5 - Greetings, I happen to be reading your essay and just want to give some quick advice. 1. Reveal...
Undergraduateaes1999 - Dec 19, 2016 / Jo1nnyJiang - Dec 19, 2016
|"Let your life speak." Prompt 1 - Learning through engagement
9 - Mualla, don't change the language of your essay. Keep your original voice in the way that you wrote it....
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 15, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|"My battle with a derivative dragon" - UVA prompt
3 - Aubrey, before we get to the numerous grammatical problems of your essay, I want to know something first. Is...
Undergraduateaes1999 - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
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