|Home / Undergraduate [25,971] - page 200 of 433|
|"Satori through Fishing" EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES ESSAY
10 - To critics: I had been waiting for such criticisms, so your points were absolutely helpful!!! I was able to...
Undergraduatekakari - Dec 24, 2011 / kakari - Dec 28, 2011
|"I Am Chanadian" - NYU App
5 - Thanks everyone! @Mustafa: absolutely! Would "tenacity" or "grit" be a better word for "indefatigable spirit"? "Hopeful that...
UndergraduateGraceTaylorWei - Dec 27, 2011 / GraceTaylorWei - Dec 27, 2011
|'the times I went to work with my parents' - common app
3 - I also like the ending. It's personal and you have a caring voice, but what kholmes said is true....
UndergraduateWaitingonApplyi - Dec 27, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 27, 2011
|'Everybody has a place' - stanford What matters to you prompt
UndergraduateWalden - Dec 26, 2011 / sm09 - Dec 27, 2011
|'seemingly prepared for the year ahead' - Perspective Change- Brown Supplement
2 - You talk very little about your change in perspective. Try cut out the detail about first day of school...
UndergraduateNovacane - Dec 27, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 27, 2011
|'he was blind' + 'Nobel Prize winners' + 'The crisp Vancouver' - NYUs
3 - indefatigable? I think there's a better word for that. overall it's good though. Please please read mine???...
UndergraduateGraceTaylorWei - Dec 23, 2011 / karissa_a16 - Dec 27, 2011
|Opening Up to My Roommate
Undergraduatepinkstarbaby - Dec 26, 2011 / lethalityKD - Dec 27, 2011
|Cornell "I like money"
Undergraduatejebhogiaye - Dec 27, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 27, 2011
|A Holiday Gift (CommonApp Essay)
4 - This maybe a crazy suggestion, but change your essay prompt so something else while keeping the essay. Change it...
Undergraduatefiyero49 - Dec 27, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 27, 2011
|'to study law while hanging upside down' - Stanford's Roommate essay
14 - The edited version is much better - with fewer rhetorical questions. To make the conclusion stronger, talk more about...
UndergraduateWalden - Dec 26, 2011 / nr554 - Dec 27, 2011
|"Diversity in kids" -Describe the world you come from MIT
7 - I love the essay but one thing these kind of schools look for is how your backround affects your...
Undergraduatederemifri - Dec 26, 2011 / Walden - Dec 27, 2011
|'an environment for self-learning' U Penn: What do you hope to learn and contribute
9 - LOVE your essay :) A few comments: Don't capitalize balance in the first paragraph I agree with the...
Undergraduateerndawg - Dec 25, 2011 / DesiGirl - Dec 27, 2011
|'Chinese characters mixed with English alphabet' - MIT Personality
4 - Thanks all:) K, I'll try to focus it around one point more, <--thanks for that advice , Perhaps I...
Undergraduatecupnoodle123 - Dec 27, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 27, 2011
|UVA Supplement (Favorite Place to Get Lost) - Seoul Local Market
3 - Maybe you should describe that place with more enthusiasm. Or explain more, why you like this place. Would...
Undergraduatedychung7 - Dec 27, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 27, 2011
|'I stand my ground and dig deep' - Common App Essay
Undergraduateibeckki - Dec 27, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 27, 2011
|Mac Miller on my Stanford's app? - Question
7 - you are goin to include him right because i have seen people put texts from last night on their...
UndergraduateSeniorMel - Dec 27, 2011 / Walden - Dec 27, 2011
|(character in fiction, figure) Common App - "Chaconne"
Undergraduatekimisizer - Dec 26, 2011 / HopefulApplier - Dec 27, 2011
|I missed my train - Caltech ethical dilemma essay
6 - Do you suggest that in my last sentence, I switch [name] to "someone," to make the whole message a...
Undergraduatezman9264 - Dec 27, 2011 / zman9264 - Dec 27, 2011
|'Romanticism' + 'A girl with dreams' - NYU application essays
5 - Thanks everyone!! You all gave really great advice. Best of luck to us aspiring collegiate students :)...
Undergraduatemarshizzle1 - Dec 27, 2011 / marshizzle1 - Dec 27, 2011
|'Saigon Traffic' - Michigan supplement
Undergraduateqminh93 - Dec 27, 2011 / qminh93 - Dec 27, 2011
|'eating home-style Chinese food' - Future Roommate Essay
5 - I think you should try to avoid these cliches when youwrite such as saying your a procrastinator or how...
UndergraduateCitygirl1120 - Dec 27, 2011 / Walden - Dec 27, 2011
|"Let's Play Ball!" - Harvard Supplemental Essay
6 - Try to find a synonym for the second disheartened. So here's the thing: I do not excel at writing,...
UndergraduateAbhaJ19 - Dec 27, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 27, 2011
|COMMON APPLICATION ESSAY - VOLUNTEERING AT DAY CARE CENTER (SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCE)
7 - Sorry for the delay. Here's the thing: If the task is really impossible, it does not make sense...
Undergraduatejasmine138 - Dec 27, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 27, 2011
|'leaving my country, family, friends' + 'Thai medications' Gonzaga U and MCPHS
Undergraduatevanamrungisara - Dec 27, 2011 / vanamrungisara - Dec 27, 2011
|'hesitant to tell everyone my past' - NYU - becoming part of the world
3 - I think the Why NYU part needs a little more development. The first sentence does not make a good...
Undergraduatepaw1168 - Dec 27, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 27, 2011
|Molecular Gastronomy - Stanford Intellectual vitality
4 - Your topic is interesting. I agree with the comments made by Balanchine. I would like to emphasize that the...
UndergraduateSeniorMel - Dec 27, 2011 / zman9264 - Dec 27, 2011
|Priceless Memories - Pomona Supplement Essay
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 27, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 27, 2011
|'knowledge about art' - What matters to you and why? Stanford
3 - Grammatical: not only joy to me , but also to others then I can be sure of communication through...
UndergraduateCitygirl1120 - Dec 27, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 27, 2011
|'Community engagement'-Colby-Supplement Essay Why Colby
Undergraduatemaggiez93 - Dec 27, 2011 / maggiez93 - Dec 27, 2011
|Cornell engineering essay-- Why being an engineer appeals to me
5 - I do not know if this helps you, but I personally think that you should explain your change in...
Undergraduatepostscript94 - Dec 25, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 27, 2011
|'My cousin, Trent' - ApplyTexas Significant Influence
Undergraduatedesm2012 - Nov 23, 2011 / menukagrg - Dec 27, 2011
|'a few of my friends were Christian' - Stanford Supplemental
2 - The idea is consistent and develops well but it hink that it failed to grasp the way that this...
UndergraduateCitygirl1120 - Dec 27, 2011 / Walden - Dec 27, 2011
|'my father's diagnosis' - Georgetown Personal Essay
5 - wow, this is a great essay. I like the way the paragraphs move in progression with the development of...
Undergraduatebabygurl2012 - Dec 20, 2011 / Citygirl1120 - Dec 27, 2011
|Blind, Arrogant Eyes - Common App Prompt
5 - i really liked the essay! but in the first line, you mention your "freshmen year" of high school. It's...
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 27, 2011 / pinkbunny - Dec 27, 2011
|UVA Engineering - Improvement in Knee Prosthesis
Undergraduatedychung7 - Dec 26, 2011 / babygurl2012 - Dec 27, 2011
|Nursing student admission essay (social justice?)
2 - Hmmm, you seem to have forgotten to post your essay! In terms of social justice-- I believe they're...
Undergraduatejbq61c - Dec 27, 2011 / Balanchine - Dec 27, 2011
|"One Decision, Lifelong Benefits" - Common App
3 - Thank you for your help. I've been trying not to go over 500 words, and it's been pretty hard....
Undergraduatehopeful11 - Dec 27, 2011 / hopeful11 - Dec 27, 2011
|'Thomas Jefferson' - Common App, historical figure
2 - It seems like a majority of the essay deals with kissing up to Thomas Jefferson and very little on...
UndergraduateVvarsha - Dec 27, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 27, 2011
|Rice Admissions Essay - My love of gathering knowledge
Undergraduatemdubs777 - Dec 27, 2011 / mdubs777 - Dec 27, 2011
|UVA engineering supp--"Food scanner"
2 - Maybe you can use a hook for the beginning of your essay. That will always captivate readers. However, if...
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 27, 2011 / dychung7 - Dec 27, 2011
|'Exciting economics' - Columbia University Economics short
2 - I'm enjoying learning about the various theories of supply and demand, and incentives. Try to avoid using contractions in...
Undergraduatemarcusrschmidt - Dec 27, 2011 / nr554 - Dec 27, 2011
|'propaganda on the Japanese culture' Stanford Supplement (intellectual vitality)
UndergraduateStevenWong206 - Dec 27, 2011 / HopefulApplier - Dec 27, 2011
|'New York' + 'Yoshimi Battles' + 'Charles Dickens' - NYUs
Undergraduateaml211 - Dec 27, 2011 / aml211 - Dec 27, 2011
|'I have two parents' - MIT - challenge or even that didn't go as planned
4 - Yes I most certainly do. Also, can't believe I missed these typos/ losing sleep & words where you...
Undergraduatehartmantc - Dec 27, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 27, 2011
|'doomed to be a work in progress' - Pomona supplements
Undergraduatejulia22rose - Dec 27, 2011 / insanesoul81994 - Dec 27, 2011
|NYU Application - "Yves Saint Laurent"
5 - I really enjoy the slightly narrative point of view on this piece and the shoes do add a clever,...
UndergraduateGraceTaylorWei - Dec 27, 2011 / aml211 - Dec 27, 2011
|'I live in a rough neighborhood' - Common App Claremont McKenna
3 - Okay, I've rewritten another version of the essay. I guess I'll post it again. Thank you so much!...
Undergraduatecaraconcerta - Dec 27, 2011 / caraconcerta - Dec 27, 2011
|'sister's diabetes' - MIT- How your world has shaped your dreams
3 - You should probably expand more in this vein - for this is what has influenced you to become a...
Undergraduateflutenerd - Dec 27, 2011 / lethalityKD - Dec 27, 2011
|'apologize in advance for any snoring' - Letter to Future Roomate-Stanford
2 - i might as well insert an evil laugh here and kiss any chances of finding a roommate to tolerate...
UndergraduateAhoips - Dec 27, 2011 / Vvarsha - Dec 27, 2011
|"Brain" was the most intriguing to me' - Common application
2 - For the second paragraph I think it would help if you took out the definitions and such and made...
Undergraduatedbsgmltjq13 - Dec 27, 2011 / Ahoips - Dec 27, 2011
|'Place of Worship' - Common App Main
4 - Joe But by saying "Only the strong will survive" & you walking in, doesn't that subtlety say that...
UndergraduateRiceAllTheWhey - Dec 27, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 27, 2011
|'Book, Magazines, Challenge, Events, Summers, History' - Stanford Essays
UndergraduateCitygirl1120 - Dec 27, 2011 / Citygirl1120 - Dec 27, 2011
|'Failure is evil' - Stanford: What Matter most?
UndergraduateHopefulApplier - Dec 24, 2011 / HopefulApplier - Dec 27, 2011
|'Large paratubal cysts' - Significant challenge UBC Supplemental
3 - However, it was not until my penultimate year of high school that I truly realized the root of the...
UndergraduateLalaluye - Dec 18, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2011
|'You just got an AB!' - Stanford Letter to a roommate
4 - Marilyn Monroe and JFKDo you like them particularly? If not...it's kinda just random to put in, not showing that...
Undergraduatephhai - Dec 27, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 27, 2011
|Biotechnology, Isolation of DNA - Princeton supplement
UndergraduateSeniorMel - Dec 27, 2011 / SeniorMel - Dec 27, 2011
|'an aspiring biomedical engineer' - Why engineering and Duke?
2 - I think the first paragraph was great and I can tell that you do have interest in engineering. ...
Undergraduatedychung7 - Dec 27, 2011 / akulz - Dec 27, 2011
|'the positive aspects of living in Paris' - Intellectual vitality essay
4 - i think of 'intellectual' as a very strong word...the way you began the essay..and I was expecting a very...
Undergraduateclairem - Dec 27, 2011 / Noobzilla - Dec 27, 2011
|'the Young Power Program' - intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience.
UndergraduatelethalityKD - Dec 26, 2011 / lethalityKD - Dec 27, 2011
|'some advise for my future or influence' - Common App: Influence
2 - I think that at the end you should tie your parents influence in with a more current award or...
UndergraduateSearchingColl - Dec 27, 2011 / julia22rose - Dec 27, 2011
|Home / Undergraduate|