|Undergraduate [25,740] - page 200 of 430|
|'old African folklore' - UPenn optional essay
8 - I eventually conquered my problems I wish you had one more sentence at the end to conclude, otherwise...
Undergraduatenamato - Dec 11, 2011 / jr_disk_jockey - Dec 25, 2011
|'Hi, I'm You' - Ivy League Common App
Undergraduategeorgewang - Dec 25, 2011 / georgewang - Dec 25, 2011
|' At this new school' - Education Interruption Essay- Common App
3 - thank you!...
Undergraduateselloway - Dec 25, 2011 / selloway - Dec 25, 2011
|'purpose and ambition to achieve greatness' - yale supplement question
Undergraduaterpendyala - Dec 25, 2011 / Silverbrush - Dec 25, 2011
|"This is Sallyport Arch." - What motivated you to apply to Rice University?
4 - Thanks! I will make it more specific. Any other comments? I need all the help I can. The deadline...
Undergraduateylp2404 - Dec 25, 2011 / ylp2404 - Dec 25, 2011
|'I volunteered one afternoon' - MIT ESSAY
2 - At the opening of the essay, supply a time-frame as to when this occurred. (eg "During my sophomore year,...
UndergraduateAli Poonja - Dec 25, 2011 / selloway - Dec 25, 2011
|'doubts about education in my county' - COMMON APP
4 - That was a much better edit. I'll help you out with the mechanical stuff. But you'll have to give...
Undergraduatemiii - Dec 23, 2011 / shinsley - Dec 25, 2011
|'to build my own desktop computer' + 'jobs' - MIT Short Answers
2 - I do not want to participate in a job that draws from previous discoveries and simply repeats past actions....
Undergraduatef2phutch - Dec 25, 2011 / rpendyala - Dec 25, 2011
|('my friends, teachers, and family respect me') MIT- Personality attribute
4 - Alright sorry, could you guys take a look at this one? I decided to write on something different that...
Undergraduateflutenerd - Dec 25, 2011 / flutenerd - Dec 25, 2011
|'Gandhi's quote was true' - Common app (Influential person)
4 - Your essays are superb! Very articulate and creative. Gandhi's quote was true; I found myself, all thanks to...
UndergraduateHEast22 - Dec 23, 2011 / GraceTaylorWei - Dec 25, 2011
|'I come from Kosova' - Stanford Supp - dear roomate
Undergraduateagronr - Dec 25, 2011 / agronr - Dec 25, 2011
|'Engineering and Islamic Architecture' - MIT Application
UndergraduateAli Poonja - Dec 25, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 25, 2011
|(Success) what is the most important charcteristic that a person can have to be
NEW - Success is one of the important things that most of the people want to reach but the question is...
Undergraduatewadha - Dec 25, 2011 / — -
|'Public Speaking' - MIT busy life / Activity for pleasure
3 - I agree that you should avoid repeating the sleeping in on Saturday morning comment. Also, I think you should...
UndergraduateAli Poonja - Dec 25, 2011 / ricka123 - Dec 25, 2011
|Tufts Suplemental Questions. My defination
8 - Very nice descriptions!!! Fix the errors pointed out above and you're good to go :D Could you look at...
Undergraduatesuper57 - Dec 18, 2011 / DesiGirl - Dec 25, 2011
|Non-Traditional (old) undergrad transfer (neuroscience) statement of purpose essay UT
2 - It began with the rejection of dualism and mysticism as a teenager, where Ayn Rand's ' Atlas Shrugged' helped...
UndergraduateGlenna - Dec 25, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 25, 2011
|JHU Supplement - Africana Studies & Pre-Med Track
Undergraduateyaya4lyfe - Dec 25, 2011 / yaya4lyfe - Dec 25, 2011
|Being a Peer Mediator - short answer
6 - Overall, I like your essay a lot! It shows you as a selfishless and sincere student, traits that...
Undergraduateyaya4lyfe - Nov 25, 2011 / Leehoo - Dec 25, 2011
|'a family of nurses' - Washington Biology Transfer Personal Statement
Undergraduaterzwart - Dec 24, 2011 / mukhia08 - Dec 25, 2011
|Building Bridges-Cornell College of Engineering Supplement Essay (Minus Conclusion)
Undergraduatedasadhikarik - Dec 24, 2011 / mukhia08 - Dec 25, 2011
|[Common application] Dance and my life
3 - Thank you for your reply! But I didn't write "nervous" in my essay...>.< But your advice on using more...
UndergraduateLeehoo - Dec 25, 2011 / Leehoo - Dec 25, 2011
|Scary moment gives me coruage short answer
Undergraduateraza68 - Dec 24, 2011 / raza68 - Dec 25, 2011
|"Career Advising and Advising Programs" - Why UChicago Essay
Undergraduateeastring - Dec 25, 2011 / USMAN GUJJAR - Dec 25, 2011
|'Soccer is more than that' - Common App Extracurricular
Undergraduateerndawg - Dec 17, 2011 / rosomp - Dec 25, 2011
|'True learning' - what do you hope to learn from and contribute to the Penn?
UndergraduateLeehoo - Dec 24, 2011 / erndawg - Dec 25, 2011
|[short answer] about New York City Explore Program
UndergraduateLeehoo - Dec 24, 2011 / USMAN GUJJAR - Dec 25, 2011
|'mutualistic symbiotic relationship'- How my unique qualities relate to Upenn/Wharton
5 - I think yours are perfect. That symbiotic metaphor is novel, and you've managed to demonstrate how you fit in...
Undergraduatemp4player - Dec 16, 2011 / Leehoo - Dec 25, 2011
|'I never liked the idea of change' - Common App
16 - try reshaping it start wih a scenerio (perhaps from when u last saw ur friends) then start telling ur...
Undergraduatemc52 - Dec 20, 2011 / super57 - Dec 25, 2011
|'college is not another dull place' - U of C Short Essay
Undergraduatejasononwenu - Dec 25, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Dec 25, 2011
|'raised in a single parent home' - Stanford- Intellectual development
Undergraduate22kcox - Dec 23, 2011 / 22kcox - Dec 25, 2011
|University of Michigan: How Ross is a good fit for me, just like a McSpicy
NEW - Hi, Here is my supplement for Ross School of Business within the University of Michigan. I would really...
Undergraduatemp4player - Dec 25, 2011 / — -
|"Sugar Land bubble"- BU Supplement essay, why BU?
3 - I don't know about grammar, but the short essay seems solid. You could just remove the 22nd thing that...
Undergraduateanushahasan - Dec 24, 2011 / agronr - Dec 25, 2011
|'My two years of hope' - Uchicago/Yale/Harvard Supp Essay
8 - I liked the essay but after it was over, i was also thinking what you actually found. I really...
Undergraduateecieee - Dec 16, 2011 / menukagrg - Dec 25, 2011
|My love for guitar - Common App Activities Essay
9 - thanks for the advice guys! Ive performed in some gigs with my band and even performed for a wedding,...
Undergraduatesnugglyduckling - Dec 20, 2011 / insanesoul81994 - Dec 25, 2011
|What I did for just plain fun - Pomona Supplement
5 - thanks for all the advice guys! I'll delete the extra sentences with unnecessary details. And Ill remove the phrase...
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Dec 23, 2011 / insanesoul81994 - Dec 25, 2011
|'the difficulty of making money' -COMMON APP short answer
4 - thank you:)...
Undergraduatemiii - Dec 24, 2011 / miii - Dec 25, 2011
|"The foursome of senses"-Brown U something you created
Undergraduatewhimdino - Dec 24, 2011 / collegecat - Dec 25, 2011
|'interest in architecture' + 'morals mandatory' - lehigh supplements
2 - Cut this part? Try looking it over and join some of the sentences together perhaps? Overall,I believe...
Undergraduateblack_pearl_310 - Dec 25, 2011 / perfectshove - Dec 25, 2011
|'Collaborate' + 'Finance' + '50 cent' + 'Developing India' - NYU Supplements
2 - i suggest that you start off strong instead of I feel, just say "New York University is all about...
Undergraduatearmaniku - Dec 24, 2011 / tcohen - Dec 25, 2011
|Common App Essay: I Dunwanna Grow Up
Undergraduatecupnoodle123 - Dec 24, 2011 / santoryuu - Dec 24, 2011
|'I wouldn't return to my boarding school' - Common App Essay
Undergraduateitsyashvi - Dec 24, 2011 / itsyashvi - Dec 24, 2011
|'travel to anywhere I want' - Extracurricular Essay
UndergraduateZhoeK - Dec 22, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 24, 2011
|"My Life, Passion, and Goal" Cornell University - School of Hotel Administration
4 - I think your essay is good: it's personal, indicative of your aspirations, and well-written. I only see a few...
UndergraduateSagar_Patel12 - Dec 24, 2011 / Monisaahmed - Dec 24, 2011
|'my analytical and quantitative skills' - UPenn Transfer
Undergraduatearmaniku - Dec 24, 2011 / Leehoo - Dec 24, 2011
|'Research' + 'activities' + 'Indian meal' - Notre Dame Supplements
5 - @22kcox I completely agree that the essays are far too impersonal and normal, they really aren't unique enough. Especially...
UndergraduateMonisaahmed - Dec 23, 2011 / Monisaahmed - Dec 24, 2011
|"Genius is said to be self-conscious." Princeton Quote essay
Undergraduatenicolehardy87 - Dec 24, 2011 / priscillaaa - Dec 24, 2011
|Why Tufts? "Because it's there."
3 - I couldcan reach the zenith and kylebelieves' comment is true; those corrections will make the sentence flow better...
UndergraduateJohn20160o0o0 - Dec 24, 2011 / priscillaaa - Dec 24, 2011
|'Love for charity work' - Rice - Why apply to your school?
2 - I've been buying and selling electronics online and locallyto not only make allowance for myself but alsoin order to...
UndergraduateBuffomatic - Dec 24, 2011 / priscillaaa - Dec 24, 2011
|"Entertaiment Technology" - Carnegie Mellon Supplement Essay
2 - I instantaneously became fascinated with new technologies. No need for exclamation mark. Other than that it is a...
UndergraduateJustinc7 - Dec 24, 2011 / Buffomatic - Dec 24, 2011
|Stanford roommate essay: 'asian, born in Brazil and lives in Canada'
4 - a comma after "weird"/before the "eh" you're in Canada, you should know! :P anyways, I love how...
Undergraduatekevinyslin - Dec 21, 2011 / priscillaaa - Dec 24, 2011
|'Choir has opened door for me' - Rice supplement essay
3 - I like the overall topic but the essay definitely needs to be longer. I suggest expanding more on your...
Undergraduateveee - Dec 22, 2011 / Buffomatic - Dec 24, 2011
|'Tetris' - Stanford Roommate
3 - really creative, its something that surely stands out love the way you blend a game with your life...
Undergraduatetgf808 - Dec 24, 2011 / kevinyslin - Dec 24, 2011
|'How'd your audition go?' - MIT significant challenge essay
Undergraduatesalsmeyer - Dec 24, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 24, 2011
|Emerson Honors Essay - "Deconstructed in Dixie"
3 - ah i was worried about that! unfortunately i'm already 7 words over the limit, and i'm not sure what...
Undergraduatekylebelieves - Dec 24, 2011 / kylebelieves - Dec 24, 2011
|How to write Aviation statement of purpose?
6 - think back to the moment you were like "HEY I want to study aviation in college!" and brainstorm from...
Undergraduateajalaoluwa - Dec 15, 2011 / priscillaaa - Dec 24, 2011
|'volunteered, worked, travelled, thought' princeton-how ive spent my last two summers
4 - The prompt said to discuss any activities not already mentioned on the common application. Did you discuss these jobs...
Undergraduatekayla1725 - Dec 5, 2011 / inventor1488 - Dec 24, 2011
|'Music has life' - Stanford: Intellectual Vitality
UndergraduateHopefulApplier - Dec 24, 2011 / HopefulApplier - Dec 24, 2011
|'a new academic chapter' + 'why Lafayette' + 'Travel' + 'Equity' - supplements
UndergraduateZhoeK - Dec 18, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 24, 2011
|'The stench was intense' - LEHIGH UNIVERSITY (personal statement)
3 - Thanks!...
UndergraduateAkolade 1 - Dec 24, 2011 / Akolade 1 - Dec 24, 2011
|'new urbanities and cultures' + 'grew up in Shanghai - Why BU and my future roommate
5 - Haha, I really enjoyed reading this. Its sound real, not like scripted for an application essay. Which is a...
Undergraduatecicy1994 - Dec 23, 2011 / shinsley - Dec 24, 2011
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