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|'my offer of friendship to you' - Stanford - Note to Roommate
3 - You might try to group the moves into one by only mentioning the first move and replacing the next...
UndergraduateIndy95 - Dec 25, 2011 / Walden - Dec 26, 2011
|Iron Chef America, Skydiving, Why Notre Dame?
UndergraduateSeniorMel - Dec 26, 2011 / SeniorMel - Dec 26, 2011
|Tufts Supplement Essays - "Let your life speak" and "The world within"
3 - I guess i think this needs to be developed a little more. It's just a discussion of diversity;...
Undergraduateajliu84 - Dec 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2011
|Why Columbia - "Research + Civic Engagement"
5 - Yea, I 86'd the last paragraph, and I'm currently working on a new ending. I'll post it here when...
UndergraduateDMA17 - Dec 23, 2011 / DMA17 - Dec 26, 2011
|'Academy of Information Technology' -Carnegie Mellon Essay (business and technology)
Undergraduatehellokittyhello - Dec 26, 2011 / SeniorMel - Dec 26, 2011
|'lying on the bed and reading a book' - MIT pleasure essay
6 - I also like the second essay. The first was more of not unique..comparably, the second essay has a great...
Undergraduatekruthimohan - Dec 24, 2011 / watermark - Dec 26, 2011
|'close knit and diverse Colby family' - Why Colby?
Undergraduatedhanu12 - Dec 24, 2011 / watermark - Dec 26, 2011
|Question - Is playing an instrument an okay topic for the Common App's long essay?
5 - Certainly!...
Undergraduatefailedsleeper - Dec 26, 2011 / failedsleeper - Dec 26, 2011
|(No A lack of effort) Two versions of Common App essay
6 - definitely the 2nd one because i think it shows to teh college committees by saying hey im committed to...
Undergraduateinventor1488 - Dec 23, 2011 / athai45 - Dec 26, 2011
|"Good art sends a different message"
Undergraduateychun10 - Dec 26, 2011 / ychun10 - Dec 26, 2011
|"I'd rather just be myself"-Tufts Univ. essay :)
5 - Thank you guys very much for the comments! I had trouble with the essay because I couldn't think of...
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 26, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 26, 2011
|'Helping people' - Stanford Supplement Essay - "intellectual ability"
3 - When stanford says vitality they mean what intellectual aspects about yourself maks you stand out. It is good that...
Undergraduatestargirlpanda - Dec 24, 2011 / Walden - Dec 26, 2011
|'I enjoy studying history' common app
2 - Wow. I think your essay does a great job in illustrating yourself as an individual while also highlighting your...
UndergraduateNoobzilla - Dec 26, 2011 / glamazing - Dec 26, 2011
|(harry potter, newspapers, no hope, volunteering, Beatles) Stanford Responses
Undergraduatehki42997 - Dec 24, 2011 / Walden - Dec 26, 2011
|'I loved my church' - Common App MAIN
9 - :DD okay thanks but sry..i also kinda looked it up...most ppl do add their own prompts, I guess to...
Undergraduatecupnoodle123 - Dec 25, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 26, 2011
|Favorite books/movies/poems list
6 - youI cannot hear from a written music. this is all really interesting :) I don't really know what...
Undergraduateeastring - Dec 25, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 26, 2011
|'Bulgarian or German' - CommonApp diversity
UndergraduateNikoliT - Dec 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2011
|'pass and move' - COMMON APP SHORT ANSWER
4 - Furthermore, I will do anything for the good of my team, they are my family. this sounds like just...
Undergraduatemukhia08 - Dec 25, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 26, 2011
|'an influx of officials' + 'regime in Ghana' - Macalester essays
Undergraduatedestinychild - Dec 24, 2011 / cordyceps - Dec 26, 2011
|"I just don't like you," she scoffed and turned back to face the board.
13 - dude you are one clearly clever beast. you managed to answer what the supplement wa asking but you'd put...
Undergraduatemaroon5 - Dec 8, 2011 / athai45 - Dec 26, 2011
|Physics thinker - Stanford Supplement Intellectual Vitality
5 - I like the essay overall but because you used so much of the space up with technical terms you...
Undergraduatelch920619x - Dec 22, 2011 / Walden - Dec 26, 2011
|'Time spent in towers' Short Answer for the Common APP (UNDERGRAD Arch)
4 - Having taken... ... an internship that put me well out of my comfort zone, I have benefited in...
UndergraduateTsoufan - Dec 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2011
|'Home across the Atlantic Ocean' -Your Roommate, a TCK ( Stanford Letter to Roommate)
2 - I like the essay overall but it seems that you demonstrate who you are more by saying than by...
UndergraduatePhilia10 - Nov 20, 2011 / Walden - Dec 26, 2011
|'I am an open person' - Stanford- Letter to Roommate
6 - I think it helps the roommate essay for you to relate your hobbies and what they reveal about your...
Undergraduategooseman94 - Dec 26, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 26, 2011
|'the pro at relaxing' - the world within-Tufts supplement
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 26, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 26, 2011
|Rice (Why do you want to study history, What perspective do you bring)
3 - History has, since childhood, filled my dreams with escapades of Marco Polo and heated discussions with leaders like Jefferson,...
UndergraduateVvarsha - Dec 26, 2011 / nr554 - Dec 26, 2011
|'how important my father is in my life' - Personal Statement
Undergraduateluadatio - Dec 26, 2011 / luadatio - Dec 26, 2011
|'Leaving the Marine Corps' - Statement of Purpose, Electrical Engineering Major
4 - When I started school again in 2011 I did so with some small trepidation, because my grades thus far...
UndergraduateHerrTrigger - Dec 26, 2011 / Vvarsha - Dec 26, 2011
|'leave one's comfort zone of friends, home' -Transfer (Cornell, UNC, Vanderbilt, NYU)
Undergraduatedhaber1 - Dec 26, 2011 / jebhogiaye - Dec 26, 2011
|"What the....?" - Stanford roomate essay
Undergraduateecieee - Dec 23, 2011 / saints13 - Dec 26, 2011
|a memorable moment -- UIUC essay: some interest or experience of you
3 - "Hey, look at your post-it note; it fell off the wall again!" "I like the smiles that appear on...
Undergraduatelittlebutterfly - Dec 26, 2011 / jebhogiaye - Dec 26, 2011
|Common App - Significant experience. "Lost in Translation"
4 - Ah, I see. That's good then! Even something as simple as "Over the years, I've learned to appreciate...
Undergraduatekikula - Dec 26, 2011 / summerteeth - Dec 26, 2011
|'Film and movie industry' - Short answer essay response
2 - Here are some of my suggestions It wasn't until I joined my school's video production club that...
Undergraduatexbloodystarx - Dec 26, 2011 / cordyceps - Dec 26, 2011
|'Chinese calligraphy' - Rice- Unique Life Experiences and Perspective
Undergraduateparker - Dec 15, 2011 / silentspring - Dec 26, 2011
|'a science student with a great appreciation for the arts' - Common App short
5 - Yes. The prompt is to elaborate an extracurricular. Guess I should have included that :-) I was not...
Undergraduatecordyceps - Dec 26, 2011 / cordyceps - Dec 26, 2011
|'a letter from the Posse Foundation' - how and why you learn about Vassar?
Undergraduatesilentspring - Dec 26, 2011 / silentspring - Dec 26, 2011
|Columbia Supp., one notable book, favorite academic class, why Columbia, why major
UndergraduateNaverist - Nov 27, 2011 / Vvarsha - Dec 26, 2011
|Rice/Columbia career essay -- why I enjoy airports
2 - I like your intro, but i didn't know you were talking about sociology until the end. I would definitely...
Undergraduatejayelectrolosis - Dec 26, 2011 / Vvarsha - Dec 26, 2011
|Brown supplement essay -- you don't know what you have till you have it
Undergraduatejayelectrolosis - Dec 26, 2011 / jayelectrolosis - Dec 26, 2011
|Stanford Letter to Roommate "Teamplayer"
8 - Thanks for the comments all of you! They were all really helpful to help me improve some areas and...
Undergraduatecupnoodle123 - Dec 21, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 26, 2011
|'the only junior flutist' - MIT- Biggest Challenge question
4 - Thanks, I'll take those suggestions into consideration. This is just my attempt at condensing a longer essay I had...
Undergraduateflutenerd - Dec 26, 2011 / flutenerd - Dec 26, 2011
|'the sense of contentment I enjoyed' - Common App - Personal (Significant Experience)
2 - I love the second paragraph! I don't think you need the first one there though. The imagery of the...
Undergraduatedychung7 - Dec 26, 2011 / flutenerd - Dec 26, 2011
|'The desire to be free' - German needs help with MIT essay
Undergraduatederemifri - Dec 25, 2011 / admission2012 - Dec 26, 2011
|Why I Love Physics- Common App Essay
2 - I loved your essay but remember colleges are looking for an essay that reflects who you are, why you...
Undergraduateraslacrosse - Dec 26, 2011 / Hilianas94 - Dec 26, 2011
|'in the middle of a war zone' - Common App extra curricular essay
5 - If you apply for a really competitive school you should not use this. For an average school the approach...
Undergraduateglamazing - Dec 26, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 26, 2011
|'The office workers' - Common App EC essay about debate
11 - Thank you very much guys! @ zhaoyihao, thanks for pointing that out. It's fixed. @kwikandrew, thank you :) @cherrybomb94,...
Undergraduatedesm2012 - Dec 25, 2011 / desm2012 - Dec 26, 2011
|'good stories in my head' - NYU Supplement essays
2 - Hi Dylan, I really like the end of this essay because it comes across confidently. However, the rest...
UndergraduateSilverbrush - Dec 26, 2011 / tcohen - Dec 26, 2011
|"I did not see the point in art" - Common App
2 - "instead, while rather plain and simple, yet it is one of the most inspiring paintings I have ever seen...
Undergraduatemsaenz - Dec 26, 2011 / articuno - Dec 26, 2011
|'we live in a very unpredictable world' - the world u come from-MIT essay 250 words
5 - It at times sounds like you are just listing adjectives that make you look like a good and intelligent...
Undergraduatearceus - Dec 26, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 26, 2011
|'intellectual and fun place' - Why Tufts?
4 - Tufts seem to be a place which is intellectual and at the same time fun, even Tuft's traditions,...
Undergraduaterasim99 - Dec 16, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 26, 2011
|'Life is the most important thing' - Why Major Essay
3 - Thanks for the feedback. I implied that I thought salmonella is fatal, and that is how I knew so...
UndergraduateRiceAllTheWhey - Dec 26, 2011 / RiceAllTheWhey - Dec 26, 2011
|The ugly princess. Common App Essay
10 - Really great writing, it really shows your personality. You should not use masterpiece two times. do not remember a...
Undergraduatesuper57 - Dec 18, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 26, 2011
|'No Buzz Lightning' - Common App Personal Statement
6 - Thank you so much everyone for your critique, but I have actually decided this essay does not do a...
Undergraduateglamazing - Dec 26, 2011 / glamazing - Dec 26, 2011
|'aerospace engineer' - commonapp personal-umich application
2 - Do you tell a woman that she is your second choice? Well, you should avoid this in applications. Do...
Undergraduateemrebond007 - Dec 26, 2011 / deremifri - Dec 26, 2011
|'the weird little things that define me' - Tufts Supplement Question 3
7 - The last phrase, while grammatically correct, makes the sentence kind of awkward. I'm not sure you even need...
Undergraduatektbillings2 - Dec 26, 2011 / Rennir - Dec 26, 2011
|'family has nine houses' - about how I change my perception
6 - Thank alot guys, I'll improve my essay and post the revised version soon! Again, thank you so so much!!...
Undergraduatelinhnguyen2112 - Dec 26, 2011 / linhnguyen2112 - Dec 26, 2011
|'a country known only for its war' - CommonApp - Significant Event (Sri Lanka)
5 - Thank you very much for all the feedback. Really appreciate it! :) @Hussein: Yes that is exactly what...
Undergraduateclaude - Dec 26, 2011 / claude - Dec 26, 2011
|Common App Essay: Running my Own Business
2 - I think that the fact that you started your own business at fifteen will impress any admissions officer no...
Undergraduatethes1tuation - Dec 26, 2011 / Alikap - Dec 26, 2011
|'My brother breathes life into our home' - UMBC ESSAY
Undergraduatemorecelery - Dec 10, 2011 / agronr - Dec 26, 2011
|Stanford Roommate Essay--Blank Slate
4 - 'My name is'..you forgot the is! I like the essay, but I would advice you not to oversell yourself...
UndergraduateXavier19 - Dec 24, 2011 / glamazing - Dec 26, 2011
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