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|NYU Supplements - Belonging and Business
Undergraduatefaux_soup - Dec 22, 2011 / faux_soup - Dec 22, 2011
|'The African-American Studies' - USC academic interests and how you plan to pursue..
2 - Great job! For a conclusion you should explain into more detail what it is you plan to do after...
Undergraduatestaysharp - Dec 22, 2011 / Avalde34 - Dec 22, 2011
|Medicine Study - PLME ESSAY
NEW - Please help! I am in need of revision for Brown's PLME essay. It is 495 words, just short of...
Undergraduatejasononwenu - Dec 22, 2011 / — -
|my mom's fight with cancer--- Common App essay
12 - This essay is excellent. I am writing something like this, in terms of motherly affections and how much my...
Undergraduateraza68 - Aug 6, 2011 / jasononwenu - Dec 22, 2011
|A Bridge between two languages- Stanford Intellectual Vitality Supplement
UndergraduateXXXCLX - Dec 22, 2011 / XXXCLX - Dec 22, 2011
|'a much more exciting social world' - common app essay
3 - I think this is a really great essay, it shows how you overcame your fears and challenges over the...
Undergraduatecrew12 - Dec 22, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 22, 2011
|'student had been talking to me' - Why Duke? - Duke Engage
4 - You got straight to the point and I think it worked really well. Just read it over really slowly...
Undergraduatetwinnigan - Dec 22, 2011 / Armaan M - Dec 22, 2011
|'Grade 8 Camp leader' + 'Fundraising' - UBC admission essays
UndergraduateNickbound - Dec 17, 2011 / Nickbound - Dec 22, 2011
|Calculus-- What is your favorite class?
Undergraduatekenyaboyfresh - Dec 21, 2011 / kenyaboyfresh - Dec 22, 2011
|'I would like to go into the medical field' - Why Emory is one of my top choices
Undergraduateraza68 - Dec 22, 2011 / raza68 - Dec 22, 2011
|'inspiration from the sights' - Very short Tufts essay
3 - "From my cherished pieces of trash, I have found ..." Change in to from in the beginning of the...
Undergraduatenamato - Dec 22, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 22, 2011
|'mirror the ideals' - Why UChicago Essay
3 - I think your essay demonstrates your interest in Chicago very well--the details show that you've done your research. You...
Undergraduatesummerteeth - Dec 22, 2011 / Rennir - Dec 22, 2011
|'lived in two different cultures' - UW Computer Science Short Answer
Undergraduateqhduong - Dec 22, 2011 / veee - Dec 22, 2011
|"knowledge junkie" - Yale Supplement Essay
Undergraduategloriafbz - Dec 22, 2011 / gloriafbz - Dec 22, 2011
|'expand my diverse knowledge' - George Washington Supplement Essay
2 - Wow, there are some really nice ideas going on. I really like how you talked about your own uniqueness,...
Undergraduateloewilson - Dec 22, 2011 / cicy1994 - Dec 22, 2011
|'brought up and raised primarily in Beirut, Lebanon' - STANFORD SUPPLEMENT
Undergraduatejkhalifeh93 - Dec 20, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 22, 2011
|'a perfect college, my dream college' - Emory Required Supplement
3 - Thank you!...
Undergraduatesumerakhaja - Dec 20, 2011 / sumerakhaja - Dec 22, 2011
|'different charity events' - Common App experience
2 - This is great. It shows how you have matured, and I think you made some good points on actually...
Undergraduatekwikandrew - Dec 22, 2011 / loewilson - Dec 22, 2011
|Introduce Yourself to Penn - TaCo Nickname
Undergraduatetcohen - Dec 21, 2011 / retrospectrum - Dec 22, 2011
|St. Olaf Essay: Design a course of your own
2 - Le Hai Interesting course idea. Overall your essay was okay. Your introductory sentence was a little flat, especially...
Undergraduateuberseed - Dec 22, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 22, 2011
|'incapable of monogamy' - Personal Statement - Intellectual Promiscuity
2 - " I am incapable of monogamy. I have jived with gymnastics, L indy-hopped with left-handedness, sambaed with the...
Undergraduateclhpeterson - Dec 22, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 22, 2011
|'My mother also played a key role' - Common Application Personal Essay
UndergraduateEJ94 - Dec 22, 2011 / lch920619x - Dec 22, 2011
|USA is a democratic, advanced in science and technology; AUBG- Global perspective
UndergraduateAlparslan - Dec 21, 2011 / Alparslan - Dec 22, 2011
|'about coffee addiction' - Stanford - Roommate Essay
4 - Your essay's story is fine... The only thing I felt is that, I feel after reading others' roommate...
Undergraduatedrw1019 - Dec 20, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 22, 2011
|'unscrewing, scrutinizing and screwing' - [Yale] Why engineering?
3 - buahh...
UndergraduateYub - Dec 21, 2011 / 180asim - Dec 22, 2011
|"The Space is Playing Hide-and-Seek" - Williams College Essay
3 - The thousands of questions swarm inside my head every time I gaze at the stars. I invariably seek the...
Undergraduatexsblrbn - Dec 20, 2011 / winnie0603 - Dec 22, 2011
|'college is harder and is nothing like high school' - CommonApp Essay
UndergraduateEKI - Dec 22, 2011 / — -
|'we could name ourselves a new rap group' - Stanford your future roommate
6 - I did some new changes towards the ending. I am 53 characters over the limit, (2000 character limit, I...
UndergraduateStevenWong206 - Dec 21, 2011 / StevenWong206 - Dec 22, 2011
|'doing something that makes me happy' - Yale: tell us more about yourself
4 - I think the point at the end was strong, but the first part describing your summer could be a...
UndergraduateAlikap - Dec 21, 2011 / twinnigan - Dec 22, 2011
|'That car is moving!' Pomona Admissions
7 - Yeah, I think yours can definitely work well if you just put more about you in it, since that's...
Undergraduateelpike109 - Dec 21, 2011 / Alikap - Dec 22, 2011
|"my dad's crappy Honda" - Commonapp personal statement
Undergraduatetwinnigan - Dec 22, 2011 / Alikap - Dec 22, 2011
|My Love for Milk- CommonApp 'Topic of Your Choice' Essay
3 - this is really interesting enough to capture the reader's interest without getting boring. I think you ended it at...
Undergraduatekzheng - Dec 21, 2011 / twinnigan - Dec 22, 2011
|'taking pictures and doing yoga' - Personal Statement *Assistance*
2 - I was confused. And I assume this "prince charming" is a significant other, and i don't think that is...
Undergraduatekimberlygesel - Dec 22, 2011 / twinnigan - Dec 22, 2011
|'leadership, dedication, optimism, and curiosity' - Why Stony Brook?
4 - Seems like you know Stony Brook very well! "My leadership, dedication, optimism, and curiosity would add to Stony Brook."--...
Undergraduateraslacrosse - Dec 21, 2011 / corn0330 - Dec 22, 2011
|NYU Supplement - A place that intrigues you - Shenzhen
5 - I went to Shenzhen several times. I think you should include some info about the unique culture and the...
Undergraduatefaux_soup - Dec 8, 2011 / corn0330 - Dec 22, 2011
|'hope you have a relaxing year ahead' - Stanford- Future Roommate
UndergraduateDesiGirl - Dec 20, 2011 / DesiGirl - Dec 21, 2011
|'taken my education seriously' - Supplement for Seattle U
NEW - Why do you feel Seattle University is a good match with your educational goals? Though I am involved...
Undergraduatemc52 - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
|'A flash of black and white' - Introduce yourself to Penn
NEW - Feedback anyone? Also, how can I cut this down a bit? It's supposed to be approx. 150 words, but...
Undergraduateblueunicorn - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
|'The quality and atmosphere' - ESSAY FOR RICE. What motivated you.
3 - In multiple student reviews, the students of Rice University are said to have a very balanced lifestyle with the...
Undergraduateskong94 - Dec 21, 2011 / blueunicorn - Dec 21, 2011
|Stanford Intellectual Experience: SilverPlus Internship
Undergraduatecupnoodle123 - Dec 20, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 21, 2011
|"reverse psychology" - U Chicago - Extended Essay
Undergraduatebenzene - Dec 21, 2011 / benzene - Dec 21, 2011
|'foreigners love to remark on Chinese education system' - Common app
10 - Thanx for ur advice, but I really don't have much time.Now I'm confused and don't know what to do...
Undergraduateqq8928999 - Dec 21, 2011 / qq8928999 - Dec 21, 2011
|General supplemental - travel experiences in india
2 - Her kind gestures of love and generosity, even while living a destitute life in India opened my eyes to...
Undergraduateblueunicorn - Dec 21, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 21, 2011
|'Disney miniatures and songs' + 'I'm a Malaysian' - Letter to roommate (2 essays)
Undergraduateambiguousperson - Dec 21, 2011 / ambiguousperson - Dec 21, 2011
|Northwestern Fever- Supplement
3 - Sadly, like the rest of my vivid visions, it came to a close leaving me yearning for Northwestern. I...
UndergraduatePinoyLad - Dec 21, 2011 / AnnaAmy - Dec 21, 2011
|Working as a Lab Assistant at Cornell- Stony Brook Supplemental Essay
NEW - I am applying to SUNY Stony Brook's Honor program and they ask you to respond to the prompt: Evaluate...
Undergraduateraslacrosse - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
|'grandpa's obsession with manual labor' - UIUC: past circumstances and experiences
2 - I think this essay is quite touching and really responds well to the question. Towards the end though- ...
Undergraduatelittlebutterfly - Dec 21, 2011 / trgcook - Dec 21, 2011
|'basketball enthusiast' - Yale -something that you would like us to know.
9 - At my senior tryout for the varsity team, I still failed. After four years of trying out, after...
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 20, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 21, 2011
|'the intricateness of computer hardware' - Why Carnegie Essay
3 - The first paragraph is not meaningful. It's just sending some happy sunshine at them and stating your chosen field...
UndergraduateYxSilentxY - Dec 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2011
|(small class size+location+student to teacher ratio)What motivated to choose rice?
3 - This will not only allow me to keep in touch with my family in Houston, but will also provide...
Undergraduatesg120 - Dec 21, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 21, 2011
|'The smell of Seaside Spring' - University of Pennsylvania/UPenn optional
3 - If you hadn't told me at the end this was written from the perspective of your dorm freshman I...
Undergraduatedongjunenator - Dec 21, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 21, 2011
|'Curiosity' - Princeton Topic of Choice
6 - D'awww! Thanks guys! I feel really worried about submitting this. I was deferred from Harvard so I'm kind of...
Undergraduatenicolehardy87 - Dec 19, 2011 / nicolehardy87 - Dec 21, 2011
|'My love for psychology' - Johns Hopkins--tell us about yourself!
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 21, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 21, 2011
|Volunteering at a Retirement Home and How it Has Helped Me Grow
Undergraduateraslacrosse - Dec 21, 2011 / kenyaboyfresh - Dec 21, 2011
|Essay about my motivation- (topic of choice)
3 - Excellent stuff here, it's hard to find room to criticize. but I want to suggest that you sharpen your...
Undergraduatenaseemalammar - Dec 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2011
|'the Flight Manual was learned' - Commonapp the risk you have taken
3 - ... the Flight Manual was learned word for word. ---this is the "passive voice." It does not sound as...
Undergraduatekusman - Dec 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2011
|Rice supplement--unique perspective/piano
3 - Your essay was great! I liked it a lot. It definitely had personality. i don't really have anything you...
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 20, 2011 / veee - Dec 21, 2011
|'Dancing is one of my biggest passions' - Common app personal
Undergraduatesavinggrace8 - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
|Amusement Park Essay: Emory Supplement
NEW - May someone please correct my essay (or give me advise), it is a rough draft. Thank you! Prompt: What...
UndergraduateChopeful - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
|Life is a Game - Common App Essay (Stanford, Harvard, Columbia)
7 - desigirl: oops sry i was thinking about another thread that i posted on well even changing those few things...
UndergraduateChromaz81994 - Dec 19, 2011 / snugglyduckling - Dec 21, 2011
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