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|'immigrant parents in the US' - Pennsylvania(150 words max); Describe yourself
Undergraduatepitt4life01 - Dec 23, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 23, 2011
|'fertilizer to fill one bottle' - Supp essay: Tell a bit more about yourself
Undergraduateyobobo - Dec 23, 2011 / yobobo - Dec 23, 2011
|'The satisfaction I get when I can become successful' - UCF
2 - Hi Hm generally good. I suggest you can use one specific example to support ur belief. I quickly scanned...
Undergraduatejbeiermeister - Dec 23, 2011 / yobobo - Dec 23, 2011
|'Dad, father, the old man, pop' - UT- ESSAY 1
3 - Really nice essay. I would have loved to read a little more, something that focused more on the hardships...
UndergraduateTTOWN - Nov 28, 2011 / menukagrg - Dec 23, 2011
|"the duet dance" my common app essay
Undergraduateanitatanyibai - Dec 22, 2011 / anitatanyibai - Dec 23, 2011
|'I am a much disciplined fellow' - to your future roommate
Undergraduateshandeep - Dec 23, 2011 / shandeep - Dec 23, 2011
|'giant ball hits the wall' - Mit essay review
Undergraduatesouthwinds - Dec 23, 2011 / Riddi - Dec 23, 2011
|(The Episcopal High School's soccer) - Penn Supplement Essay
2 - I don't think you should write about your past so much! Focus on the future and answer the question:...
UndergraduatemaybeAhoya - Dec 23, 2011 / cicy1994 - Dec 23, 2011
|'open and forward thinking' - Why UChicago?
Undergraduatecicy1994 - Dec 23, 2011 / cicy1994 - Dec 23, 2011
|'First, you can relax' - Stanford Roommate Essay
Undergraduatedominique0916 - Dec 22, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Dec 23, 2011
|"Insight" - common app short ans. (Intl student)
Undergraduatedevansh1411 - Dec 22, 2011 / lch920619x - Dec 23, 2011
|'masterminding an overseas travel to USA' - Short essay of Common app
Undergraduateqq8928999 - Dec 21, 2011 / mukhia08 - Dec 23, 2011
|Unity is what brings about knowledge and a second home UPENN ESSAY
3 - hmm thats abit too much to chow down for conclusion isnt it. I didnt see u talking about math...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 22, 2011 / hahahohohe - Dec 23, 2011
|'My Inspiration' - Cornell Essay College of Arts and Sciences
UndergraduateArmaan M - Dec 22, 2011 / Armaan M - Dec 23, 2011
|'Not molding myself to fit in anymore' - BU supp essay
Undergraduateaijw824 - Dec 21, 2011 / ekreal - Dec 23, 2011
|'the community itself' - What Makes Columbia University Appealing to You
4 - Well written! Just some suggestions, I heard that CC loves students that have deep thinking and Cultural awareness,...
Undergraduatetsag3493 - Dec 22, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Dec 23, 2011
|How Is Life Structured - Cornell
5 - I agree with Yaxue1994 that you maybe should write more about how you will benefit from Cornell rather than...
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 22, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Dec 22, 2011
|'people from different cultures' - Duke Supplement Essay - International Person
4 - Good essay~ I think maybe you want to use shorter sentences because it's easier to understand and won't be...
UndergraduateYaxue1994 - Dec 22, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Dec 22, 2011
|'first year in marching band' - USF supplement
2 - I can honestly say that I've learned the most about my role in social values, and diversity and inclusion...
Undergraduatemc52 - Dec 22, 2011 / winnie0603 - Dec 22, 2011
|Emory rollercoaster ride (Hulk) short answer
9 - did the two of you read my new one? MY new thread and old thread merged... (just making sure)...
Undergraduateraza68 - Dec 20, 2011 / raza68 - Dec 22, 2011
|'students doing community' Stanford: Extracurricular or Work Exp- Kiddies and Violins
5 - Sarah No go right ahead and tweak. No problem. & I'm currently tweaking my Gambling Supplement and my...
Undergraduatecupnoodle123 - Dec 22, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 22, 2011
|'the piano for the freedom' - Commonapp: Elaboration activities
3 - Thanks so much for your feedback. Will do. I agree that the reflect and think sentence is still...
Undergraduatekt94 - Dec 22, 2011 / kt94 - Dec 22, 2011
|'Soccer changed the course of my life' University of Michigan-communities supplement
Undergraduateemrebond007 - Dec 21, 2011 / emrebond007 - Dec 22, 2011
|NYU Supplements - Belonging and Business
Undergraduatefaux_soup - Dec 22, 2011 / faux_soup - Dec 22, 2011
|'The African-American Studies' - USC academic interests and how you plan to pursue..
2 - Great job! For a conclusion you should explain into more detail what it is you plan to do after...
Undergraduatestaysharp - Dec 22, 2011 / Avalde34 - Dec 22, 2011
|Medicine Study - PLME ESSAY
NEW - Please help! I am in need of revision for Brown's PLME essay. It is 495 words, just short of...
Undergraduatejasononwenu - Dec 22, 2011 / — -
|my mom's fight with cancer--- Common App essay
12 - This essay is excellent. I am writing something like this, in terms of motherly affections and how much my...
Undergraduateraza68 - Aug 6, 2011 / jasononwenu - Dec 22, 2011
|A Bridge between two languages- Stanford Intellectual Vitality Supplement
UndergraduateXXXCLX - Dec 22, 2011 / XXXCLX - Dec 22, 2011
|'a much more exciting social world' - common app essay
3 - I think this is a really great essay, it shows how you overcame your fears and challenges over the...
Undergraduatecrew12 - Dec 22, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 22, 2011
|'student had been talking to me' - Why Duke? - Duke Engage
4 - You got straight to the point and I think it worked really well. Just read it over really slowly...
Undergraduatetwinnigan - Dec 22, 2011 / Armaan M - Dec 22, 2011
|'Grade 8 Camp leader' + 'Fundraising' - UBC admission essays
UndergraduateNickbound - Dec 17, 2011 / Nickbound - Dec 22, 2011
|Calculus-- What is your favorite class?
Undergraduatekenyaboyfresh - Dec 21, 2011 / kenyaboyfresh - Dec 22, 2011
|'I would like to go into the medical field' - Why Emory is one of my top choices
Undergraduateraza68 - Dec 22, 2011 / raza68 - Dec 22, 2011
|'inspiration from the sights' - Very short Tufts essay
3 - "From my cherished pieces of trash, I have found ..." Change in to from in the beginning of the...
Undergraduatenamato - Dec 22, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 22, 2011
|'mirror the ideals' - Why UChicago Essay
3 - I think your essay demonstrates your interest in Chicago very well--the details show that you've done your research. You...
Undergraduatesummerteeth - Dec 22, 2011 / Rennir - Dec 22, 2011
|'lived in two different cultures' - UW Computer Science Short Answer
Undergraduateqhduong - Dec 22, 2011 / veee - Dec 22, 2011
|"knowledge junkie" - Yale Supplement Essay
Undergraduategloriafbz - Dec 22, 2011 / gloriafbz - Dec 22, 2011
|'expand my diverse knowledge' - George Washington Supplement Essay
2 - Wow, there are some really nice ideas going on. I really like how you talked about your own uniqueness,...
Undergraduateloewilson - Dec 22, 2011 / cicy1994 - Dec 22, 2011
|'brought up and raised primarily in Beirut, Lebanon' - STANFORD SUPPLEMENT
Undergraduatejkhalifeh93 - Dec 20, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 22, 2011
|'a perfect college, my dream college' - Emory Required Supplement
3 - Thank you!...
Undergraduatesumerakhaja - Dec 20, 2011 / sumerakhaja - Dec 22, 2011
|'different charity events' - Common App experience
2 - This is great. It shows how you have matured, and I think you made some good points on actually...
Undergraduatekwikandrew - Dec 22, 2011 / loewilson - Dec 22, 2011
|Introduce Yourself to Penn - TaCo Nickname
Undergraduatetcohen - Dec 21, 2011 / retrospectrum - Dec 22, 2011
|St. Olaf Essay: Design a course of your own
2 - Le Hai Interesting course idea. Overall your essay was okay. Your introductory sentence was a little flat, especially...
Undergraduateuberseed - Dec 22, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 22, 2011
|'incapable of monogamy' - Personal Statement - Intellectual Promiscuity
2 - " I am incapable of monogamy. I have jived with gymnastics, L indy-hopped with left-handedness, sambaed with the...
Undergraduateclhpeterson - Dec 22, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 22, 2011
|'My mother also played a key role' - Common Application Personal Essay
UndergraduateEJ94 - Dec 22, 2011 / lch920619x - Dec 22, 2011
|USA is a democratic, advanced in science and technology; AUBG- Global perspective
UndergraduateAlparslan - Dec 21, 2011 / Alparslan - Dec 22, 2011
|'about coffee addiction' - Stanford - Roommate Essay
4 - Your essay's story is fine... The only thing I felt is that, I feel after reading others' roommate...
Undergraduatedrw1019 - Dec 20, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 22, 2011
|'unscrewing, scrutinizing and screwing' - [Yale] Why engineering?
3 - buahh...
UndergraduateYub - Dec 21, 2011 / 180asim - Dec 22, 2011
|"The Space is Playing Hide-and-Seek" - Williams College Essay
3 - The thousands of questions swarm inside my head every time I gaze at the stars. I invariably seek the...
Undergraduatexsblrbn - Dec 20, 2011 / winnie0603 - Dec 22, 2011
|'college is harder and is nothing like high school' - CommonApp Essay
UndergraduateEKI - Dec 22, 2011 / — -
|'we could name ourselves a new rap group' - Stanford your future roommate
6 - I did some new changes towards the ending. I am 53 characters over the limit, (2000 character limit, I...
UndergraduateStevenWong206 - Dec 21, 2011 / StevenWong206 - Dec 22, 2011
|'doing something that makes me happy' - Yale: tell us more about yourself
4 - I think the point at the end was strong, but the first part describing your summer could be a...
UndergraduateAlikap - Dec 21, 2011 / twinnigan - Dec 22, 2011
|'That car is moving!' Pomona Admissions
7 - Yeah, I think yours can definitely work well if you just put more about you in it, since that's...
Undergraduateelpike109 - Dec 21, 2011 / Alikap - Dec 22, 2011
|"my dad's crappy Honda" - Commonapp personal statement
Undergraduatetwinnigan - Dec 22, 2011 / Alikap - Dec 22, 2011
|My Love for Milk- CommonApp 'Topic of Your Choice' Essay
3 - this is really interesting enough to capture the reader's interest without getting boring. I think you ended it at...
Undergraduatekzheng - Dec 21, 2011 / twinnigan - Dec 22, 2011
|'taking pictures and doing yoga' - Personal Statement *Assistance*
2 - I was confused. And I assume this "prince charming" is a significant other, and i don't think that is...
Undergraduatekimberlygesel - Dec 22, 2011 / twinnigan - Dec 22, 2011
|'leadership, dedication, optimism, and curiosity' - Why Stony Brook?
4 - Seems like you know Stony Brook very well! "My leadership, dedication, optimism, and curiosity would add to Stony Brook."--...
Undergraduateraslacrosse - Dec 21, 2011 / corn0330 - Dec 22, 2011
|NYU Supplement - A place that intrigues you - Shenzhen
5 - I went to Shenzhen several times. I think you should include some info about the unique culture and the...
Undergraduatefaux_soup - Dec 8, 2011 / corn0330 - Dec 22, 2011
|'hope you have a relaxing year ahead' - Stanford- Future Roommate
UndergraduateDesiGirl - Dec 20, 2011 / DesiGirl - Dec 21, 2011
|'taken my education seriously' - Supplement for Seattle U
NEW - Why do you feel Seattle University is a good match with your educational goals? Though I am involved...
Undergraduatemc52 - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
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