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|'not like all the other boys' - Common App- Karate
UndergraduatePinoyLad - Dec 21, 2011 / PinoyLad - Dec 21, 2011
|'write down the number quickly' Harvard, Stanford, Yale - a person who influenced you
3 - Hey thanks for your comment on my Stanford romantic essay! I really enjoyed reading this, but I agree with...
UndergraduateMichaelJ - Dec 21, 2011 / Armaan M - Dec 21, 2011
|'educational career from the school of my village' - US application
3 - You have a very unique story. That alone, without additional writing skills, will make you stand out. I...
UndergraduateUSMAN GUJJAR - Dec 21, 2011 / aijw824 - Dec 21, 2011
|'problems caused by globalization' - Georgetown: Walsh School of Foreign Service
Undergraduateswaveman - Dec 21, 2011 / swaveman - Dec 21, 2011
|'It's not solely about the academics' - Emory University
3 - Way to go Andrew! You have some brilliant reasons to study there. It shows that you've done your homework...
Undergraduatekwikandrew - Dec 21, 2011 / collegesearcher - Dec 21, 2011
|"Embracing the unknown" - feedback for personal statement
UndergraduateGauffrette - Dec 21, 2011 / Gauffrette - Dec 21, 2011
|"Our Perception"-Common App essay
5 - Yah I think it would boost your ethos if you dropped "metacognition" a couple times. Also, I recommend changing...
Undergraduatespfeufer - Dec 19, 2011 / Armaan M - Dec 21, 2011
|'Life in new aspects - On Philosophy' - CommonApp Essay
4 - I think you're very well spoken, intelligent and a great writer. I usually say 'good luck in school' or...
UndergraduateSchopenhauer - Dec 20, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 21, 2011
|Bowdoin essay - Intellectual engagement in Vietnam and the US
3 - Thank you very much. I do not know what exactly "intellectual engagement" is, and I think that this is...
Undergraduateidk - Dec 21, 2011 / idk - Dec 21, 2011
|'never been a funny person' Stanford Supplement-Intellectual Vitality-friend/social
4 - maybe it's just me, but I'm confused by German Club and Montrose, not sure who they are actually....
UndergraduateCaitlinLea - Dec 19, 2011 / Guest - Dec 21, 2011
|'Iqbal's story' - Spanish native speaker but I am applying for a US college
Undergraduatemarielnl94 - Dec 17, 2011 / m7liam - Dec 21, 2011
|"Where Is Home?" Common Application Essay
Undergraduateonymaster - Dec 12, 2011 / qq8928999 - Dec 21, 2011
|School Brochures- Vassar Supp to the common app
Undergraduatearianna_muv - Dec 20, 2011 / USMAN GUJJAR - Dec 21, 2011
|'Pivotal Decisions ' - Too Deep or not Deep enough? Adoption Commonapp essay
Undergraduatemarcusrschmidt - Dec 20, 2011 / USMAN GUJJAR - Dec 21, 2011
|'the bottom of things' - Why I want to study engineering and at Duke
6 - The beginning is really good and your reasons are strong, the only thing I want to remark is ...
UndergraduateNikoliT - Dec 18, 2011 / flowroma - Dec 21, 2011
|'I chose Mechanical Engineering' - NUS Admission
2 - Try to read more and more English matrial,your writing ability will increase automatically.Start from you childhood....
UndergraduateD41V30N - Dec 20, 2011 / USMAN GUJJAR - Dec 21, 2011
|Personal Statement! Engineering, "My Home" UC Prompt 1/Common App
4 - Thank you! (:...
UndergraduateVic9871 - Dec 1, 2011 / Vic9871 - Dec 21, 2011
|Common Application "Charity"
NEW - I am not good at English writing and really need help. Welcome any kind of advice.Thank you, I appreciate...
UndergraduateSilviaChance - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
|Yale Supp't Essay- The Trouble with Math
7 - I thought it was quite an interesting essay. I would just read it over once super slowly and fix...
Undergraduatearbrelibre - Dec 20, 2011 / Armaan M - Dec 21, 2011
|'I live a vegan lifestyle' - issue of importance
3 - I chose to become vegan for three reasons: cruelty towards animals in the modern meat and dairy industries, to...
Undergraduatecaiti4 - Dec 2, 2011 / arianna_muv - Dec 20, 2011
|'women's studies in Cornell college of arts and sciences' - cornell sup
NEW - College of Arts and Sciences:describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us...
Undergraduatekexu2012 - Dec 20, 2011 / — -
|'I started Kumon' - uiuc: how your past impacted who you are and your major?
3 - You sound like a braggart. Colleges want you to imply about your achievements, not boast about yourself....
Undergraduateeheu3000 - Dec 11, 2011 / lee235717 - Dec 20, 2011
|'congested the living room' - good enough for Ivies?
3 - This is really quite brilliant. I really enjoyed how the rich details thoroughly immerses the reader in the experience....
Undergraduatejasononwenu - Dec 20, 2011 / marcusrschmidt - Dec 20, 2011
|'understand what teachers mean' - COMMON APP, SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCE
Undergraduatecchi - Dec 20, 2011 / Erica Htet - Dec 20, 2011
|'I want to major in statistics' - UNC Chapel Hill Discovery Essay
NEW - What's your latest discovery? What do you hope to learn next? RINNNGGGG. I walk into the classroom as...
UndergraduateRennir - Dec 20, 2011 / — -
|I have the parts, but can I mix it all together? USNA prompt.
4 - About the detail vs variety thing, it's a tough call. I thinkyou should do what goes more with your...
UndergraduateBethanyPark - Dec 19, 2011 / marielnl94 - Dec 20, 2011
|'school deals with computers' - extracurricular activies or work experience
3 - I think you should talk about this one website you have created and you're proud of. Don't write down...
Undergraduatemursel - Dec 19, 2011 / marielnl94 - Dec 20, 2011
|'Fate is a chance' - Johns Hopkins supplement
Undergraduatem45over - Dec 20, 2011 / m45over - Dec 20, 2011
|Making Brownies to help cure cancer: Bowdoin Supplement
5 - Overall, your essay is a very good one. But I think using both "exhausted" and "feeling like a battery...
Undergraduatearianna_muv - Dec 20, 2011 / Erica Htet - Dec 20, 2011
|Bridging the Disciplines- UNC Chapel-Hill supplemental essay
Undergraduatekzheng - Dec 20, 2011 / kzheng - Dec 20, 2011
|Stanford - "Intellectual Vitality." Writing about childhood experience with a globe.
Undergraduatedrw1019 - Dec 18, 2011 / Yardenah - Dec 20, 2011
|'relationships between science and art' - USC Supplement
6 - Thank you!!...
UndergraduateDesiGirl - Dec 20, 2011 / DesiGirl - Dec 20, 2011
|"Carpe Diem" UC #2- World you come from..
UndergraduateNeonGhost - Nov 26, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2011
|'Basketball is the passion i have' - Short Answer - EC Activity
3 - This one is 150 words and 800 characters long. The limit is 1000 characters. i guess i might add...
Undergraduateemircan57 - Dec 20, 2011 / emircan57 - Dec 20, 2011
|'a strange personality' - Introduce yourself to UPenn
Undergraduatedjking99 - Dec 20, 2011 / djking99 - Dec 20, 2011
|'a BMW, dream school: U of M Ann Arbor' - Short Response about College
3 - I agree with the poster above. If you can replace the name of the college with another one (see...
UndergraduateDilara1010 - Dec 20, 2011 / erndawg - Dec 20, 2011
|UVA supplement/ My favorite word--love
4 - I would suggest tightening you essay up and making your essay more specific. You move too quickly from one...
Undergraduatebb0131 - Dec 20, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 20, 2011
|'I shoot things' - Activity Essay for M.I.T.
UndergraduateDimitris - Dec 14, 2011 / Dimitris - Dec 20, 2011
|my life in a small town of Pakistan, what can I contribute to the environment at Rice
NEW - While I was thinking about what I should respond to the prompt, I read the following statement on the...
Undergraduatemahnoorzia14 - Dec 20, 2011 / — -
|'Hey dude' essay for Roommate - Stanford app
10 - Your personality shines through in this essay. This can be seen from the very beginning (dude). Do not change...
Undergraduateastua1 - Dec 12, 2011 / raza68 - Dec 20, 2011
|Unique, fun, community--Why Northwestern?
6 - Awesome essay! I would take out the part of not visiting the school (it is, honestly, superfluous). I love...
Undergraduatekenyaboyfresh - Dec 17, 2011 / raza68 - Dec 20, 2011
|'Center for Talented Youth' - Common App - how a summer camp changed my life
8 - I really like how you managed to turn a common app essay into an elegant and flowing experience. I...
UndergraduateFlyingNimbus - Nov 30, 2011 / mc52 - Dec 20, 2011
|Power is a quality that my mind has an affinity for; UC - An Ending to Infinity
Undergraduatemakman09 - Nov 23, 2011 / Dilara1010 - Dec 20, 2011
|'transformed into reality' - Common App: Robotics
UndergraduateTheJavaDuke - Dec 20, 2011 / TheJavaDuke - Dec 20, 2011
|'idyllic day by the lake' - - Emerson College Essay
7 - First take a deep breath and envision that same day. (well if you can) Remember the sights, smells and...
Undergraduatejerrytherock31 - Dec 18, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 20, 2011
|'purple and feminism' - why northwestern weinburg school of arts and sciences
NEW - Purple is my favorite color. It has always given me the sexy and mysterious impression. But my previous feeling...
Undergraduatekexu2012 - Dec 20, 2011 / — -
|'A-level over Nepal government's +2 level' - Vassar
4 - I think you should focus more on how you think that having liberal-arts education can prepare you as an...
Undergraduatewilliams01 - Dec 19, 2011 / dhanu12 - Dec 20, 2011
|'System thinking' - short essay on common app
Undergraduatekatrina93 - Dec 19, 2011 / katrina93 - Dec 20, 2011
|'Stanford sets the character limit' - Supplement Essay- Roommate
Undergraduatelch920619x - Dec 20, 2011 / dumi - Dec 20, 2011
|How a correct stance on a controversial topic could exist/ ethical dilemma
3 - The essay is good. You're simple and to the point. You follow the prompt, but your vague though. I...
Undergraduatesean111 - Dec 20, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 20, 2011
|"started playing the piano" - common app essay
Undergraduateeyansu1 - Dec 20, 2011 / sean111 - Dec 20, 2011
|'Building my own desktop computer' MIT Pleasure Essay
3 - for the first essay, it seems as if you find pleasure in playing games/surfing the web/social networking rather than...
Undergraduatehutch428 - Dec 19, 2011 / sean111 - Dec 20, 2011
|'always enjoyed working alone' - Rochester Supplement
4 - I like the variety of word choice you have going on in your paragraph however you shouldn't make it...
Undergraduatesean111 - Dec 10, 2011 / mc52 - Dec 20, 2011
|'a very political person' - What matters most to you and why?- Stanford Supp't
2 - I'm not a grammar whiz, but your essay is following the prompt. One thing you should do is pick...
Undergraduatearbrelibre - Dec 20, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 20, 2011
|Through the perspective of an engineer. UPENN ESSAY
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 19, 2011 / lee235717 - Dec 20, 2011
|"Of Freedom and Education" - Carnegie Mellon Supplement
5 - This essay is great. I can't find anything wrong with it, but I suggest one thing. Try to have...
Undergraduatekjhoratio - Dec 19, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 20, 2011
|'mesmerized by Duke's Economic Department' Why Duke? Trinity College Supplemental
3 - "From the academic standpoint", probably better worded as "From an academic standpoint", other than that, your essay is very...
Undergraduatekzheng - Dec 19, 2011 / faux_soup - Dec 20, 2011
|'I saw Duke University in the top ten' - TRINITY SUPPLEMENTAL
6 - I like your essay, but I'd suggest omitting some cliches. For example, "fitting the last piece of a thousand-piece...
Undergraduatecollegesearcher - Dec 13, 2011 / arbrelibre - Dec 20, 2011
|'Computer as the greatest source of inormation' - MIT Pleasure Essay
6 - Thank you for that extremely insightful and thought-provoking comment. I don't think I would have gotten in anywhere with...
Undergraduatehutch428 - Dec 19, 2011 / hutch428 - Dec 19, 2011
|'Monique and me smiling on the front page' - Columbia, Rice, UChicago, Harvard, Brown
9 - ha I did not even notice both words had "tens" in them. I also changed notwithstanding to despite. ...
Undergraduatecarolynah92 - Dec 17, 2011 / carolynah92 - Dec 19, 2011
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