|Undergraduate [25,607] - page 204 of 427|
|My experience of moving to England at the age of 7 and how it has shaped who I am
3 - Thanks for the feedback! I wasn't sure about that bit either; I genuinely am interested in manga and Japanese...
UndergraduateSmithsmithsmith - Dec 15, 2011 / Smithsmithsmith - Dec 15, 2011
|'Three days in the wilderness' - leaving comfort zone prompt
6 - Great writing. I would rework the first couple of sentences because they both are saying the same thing. I...
Undergraduatehs61 - Dec 15, 2011 / summer1 - Dec 15, 2011
|'The word: eclectic' - Ga tech 5000 word essay
2 - This is definitely a memorable essay. I love the first sentence of the first paragraph. It definitely made me...
UndergraduateScanta - Dec 15, 2011 / wintahtimee - Dec 15, 2011
|"My Sister" - Common App Essay
10 - Oh that was beautiful! Really moving :) One tiny correction: When she arrived it seemed like that would...
Undergraduatejackhags69 - Dec 10, 2011 / collegesearcher - Dec 15, 2011
|'Krakow, Poland + Computing and Engineering' - essay school homework
2 - In your first piece you have a lot of short simple sentences, maybe try combining them to be more...
Undergraduateakmenik - Dec 15, 2011 / hs61 - Dec 15, 2011
|'I have climbed up to the top of my mountain' - Stanford Supplement
Undergraduatehayoungyoun - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'a slow, agonizing deat' - My personal statement
NEW - Comfortable complacency has always seemed like a slow, agonizing death. I never want to become so stuck in the...
Undergraduatekayleighlevitt - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'passionate and dedicated teachers' - Bowdoin Supplement
NEW - My Response: For a student that is coming from a school system that is slowly but surely lowering...
Undergraduatecollegebound012 - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'a gratitude for science' - Cornell Supplement Essay
NEW - Hello, I am applying to Cornell as a biology major and I just wrote one of my supplementary essays....
Undergraduatehayoungyoun - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'human rights violation and child labor' - Lehigh: on equity and community
8 - The above example demonstrates human rights violation and child labor. Equity is defined as the quality of being fair...
Undergraduateveethic - Dec 12, 2011 / veethic - Dec 15, 2011
|"Why am I doing this?" - Essay About Risk-Taking With Two Stories
Undergraduatewintahtimee - Dec 14, 2011 / wintahtimee - Dec 15, 2011
|'such an aristocratic campus' - Yale essay
4 - I'm just giving you advice that everyone else gave me. Make it more personal. Everyone knows Yale is brilliant,...
UndergraduateJanus - Dec 14, 2011 / leviator - Dec 15, 2011
|'a vigorous and all-embracing environment' - Why Wellesley
NEW - Prompt: When choosing a college, you are choosing an intellectual community and a place where you believe that you...
Undergraduateemanon - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'create technology' - What attracts you to the field of Engineering? Columbia.
9 - Thank you all very much! Please be free to criticize, I really think there is scope for improvement :/...
Undergraduateleviator - Dec 9, 2011 / leviator - Dec 15, 2011
|'I have some engineering background' - Carnegie Mellon University Supplemental
4 - "If I do attend Carnegie Mellon University, I can become the engineer that I want to become." Carnegie Mellon...
Undergraduatepitt4life01 - Dec 13, 2011 / leviator - Dec 15, 2011
|'cleared to leave the hospital' - Common App
3 - The second paragraph is a complete jump to another paragraph. You need to somehow intertwine the two and work...
Undergraduatedynamo - Dec 14, 2011 / nippycan - Dec 15, 2011
|'cultivating informed civic action' - Bates Supplement for 2012 Enrollment
3 - To me this quote, demonstrates how Bates could enable me to demonstrate my excitement of learning.----It's not good to...
Undergraduateshoutheda - Dec 12, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2011
|"Finding Strength in Water" - UC Prompt
Undergraduatepshah - Nov 28, 2011 / josie94 - Dec 14, 2011
|'Being an avid band member' - Common App- Short Answer: Band
5 - Hi Dynamo, I have to remind you that the space characters are also counted, and hence you have...
Undergraduatedynamo - Nov 13, 2011 / hwei1994 - Dec 14, 2011
|patient who made a strong impact on me.
4 - ...and how to interact with them... (2nd Para)-Just sounds better this way ... with different kinds of patients...
Undergraduatearnela123 - Dec 14, 2011 / dynamo - Dec 14, 2011
|How to write an admissions essay about Who I Am?
Undergraduatejitzye34 - Dec 14, 2011 / Daybreak - Dec 14, 2011
|'Mr. Villegas' - Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you...
5 - Thanks a lot!...
UndergraduateDaybreak - Dec 14, 2011 / Daybreak - Dec 14, 2011
|'Band Team Leader' - participation in extracurricular activities
2 - In doing so, I not only recycled clothing that would have otherwise gone to waste in the back of...
Undergraduateemanic - Dec 14, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 14, 2011
|'I lend a hand' - Why did you choose this field of study?
UndergraduateDii - Dec 14, 2011 / Dii - Dec 14, 2011
|FIRST ROBOTICS EFFECTS-Common App Short Response
2 - The robot glides forward, effortlessly sucks up a ball, and shoots. Such simple actions drew me into the...
UndergraduateDinoSawyer - Dec 13, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 14, 2011
|What motivated me to apply?Smalley and Bob Curl Rice University
UndergraduateDii - Dec 14, 2011 / Dii - Dec 14, 2011
|'technology advances so fast' - why Math, Science--Caltech Essay
3 - We live in a world were (where) technology advances so fast the only constant is change itself I have...
Undergraduateastua1 - Dec 13, 2011 / jackhags69 - Dec 14, 2011
|'investment manager/analyst/banker', 'like my brother' - answers to Syracuse U
3 - Thank you Jennifer. Really appreciate the advice and I will revise the answers and post again. Going to go...
Undergraduateamer77 - Dec 12, 2011 / amer77 - Dec 14, 2011
|'Ben' - Common Application Essay, person who has had a significant influence on you.
10 - I liked this essay. I kept reading (non stop). You created perfect imagery. Your one of the few people...
Undergraduatecollegecat - Dec 12, 2011 / Dii - Dec 14, 2011
|Any costume i like---Brandeis Supplement
7 - I really liked your essay. Maybe you could provide a little hint of your versatile personality in the first...
Undergraduatemaroon5 - Dec 10, 2011 / leviator - Dec 14, 2011
|Common App essay about philosophy and perspective
Undergraduateakrash - Dec 14, 2011 / leviator - Dec 14, 2011
|ART HISTORY - Comparison between two works of art linking to abstract expressionism.
2 - modernist wrong modern art Expressionism expressions good it is very interesting but try to write simple and...
Undergraduatethehumannn - Dec 12, 2011 / mursel - Dec 14, 2011
|'nature and science in harmony' - columbia supplement short essay
6 - "Why Columbia?" I dream. My dream is of a future where nature and science exists(shouldn't that be exist?)...
Undergraduateleviator - Dec 11, 2011 / collegecat - Dec 14, 2011
|Making a friend on holiday (common application)
Undergraduatesalam001 - Dec 13, 2011 / salam001 - Dec 14, 2011
|'White, blonde, good grades, various extracurriculars' - UC #1
6 - In my opinion, it seems like you've taken on too much with trying to describe both your dad, and...
Undergraduatemisserinlee9 - Nov 29, 2011 / collegecat - Dec 14, 2011
|'Best friends and long-time teammates' - Commonapp - Ethical Dilemma
3 - I agree with Leviator. Talk more about the future. THe lessons that you learned in this dillema should be...
Undergraduatecarolynah92 - Dec 13, 2011 / java4u - Dec 14, 2011
|'volunteering in 7th Asian Winter Game' - Extracurricular activity
Undergraduateardak - Dec 14, 2011 / ardak - Dec 14, 2011
|'A glimpse of my best friend' - Wisconsin Madison personal statement
Undergraduatehfdz7 - Dec 13, 2011 / hfdz7 - Dec 14, 2011
|Bates Supplement - "the emancipating potential of the liberal arts"
Undergraduatesjmiller1993 - Dec 13, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Dec 14, 2011
|Hostel living (the environment you grew up)
UndergraduateDii - Dec 13, 2011 / collegesearcher - Dec 14, 2011
|Vixens + Japanese influence - common app essays
6 - okay, thanks Elena :) I didn't know the characters limit were only 1000, I thought 1000 was the limit...
Undergraduateelenazafrul - Dec 14, 2011 / elenazafrul - Dec 14, 2011
|'Becoming the person I am today' - Common App (topic of my own)
Undergraduatejayish - Dec 14, 2011 / jayish - Dec 14, 2011
|Statement of Purpose for MSc in Global Health Science from University of Oxford
7 - Thanks a lot for your valuable suggestions...I am working on it..will try to repost it as soon as poosible....
UndergraduateUrfi - Dec 11, 2011 / Urfi - Dec 14, 2011
|Why university of Chicago for Mongolian student?
3 - Oh tnx!!! It would be great that assessing my composition. It was my first draft, so I made so...
Undergraduatejonjojonjo - Dec 13, 2011 / jonjojonjo - Dec 14, 2011
|'Film as my major' - what influenced you to select your first choice major - Emerson
2 - This essay is actually quite good. As far as I'm aware of, there's not that much errors on this...
Undergraduatejerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011 / elenazafrul - Dec 14, 2011
|Motivation essay: How an AUBG education will broaden your global perspective?
3 - thnx.. :))...
Undergraduategusha - Dec 13, 2011 / gusha - Dec 14, 2011
|'I joined BBYO' - Rice- Unique Life Experiences and Perspective
4 - this is really good and organized all the way through! i like it! its really good and flows really...
Undergraduaterobertoa456 - Dec 13, 2011 / jerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011
|"Ground me." - University Of Virginia RD Supplement Essay
2 - Hey! I really love your essay! Your personality really shows through! Just a few little things: Plus, knowing...
UndergraduateAU0594 - Dec 13, 2011 / kerg945 - Dec 13, 2011
|'a tradition of helping people with cognitive disabilities' -U Wisconsin Statement #1
Undergraduatesjmiller1993 - Dec 10, 2011 / jerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011
|'my family bought a Japanese restaurant' - YOUR WORK EXPERIENCES
3 - Hey thanks for your help! so would you suggest me explaining a story like something "for example" and describe...
Undergraduatejerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011 / jerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011
|'religious journey to Mecca, Saudi Arabia' - Common App Essay--Experience and Impact
Undergraduatesaminab09 - Dec 11, 2011 / saminab09 - Dec 13, 2011
|'the Hermitage High School String Quartet ' - University of Richmond --Comfort Zone
2 - I maybe wrong but I feel it's good. Well, my only tip would be:pretend you're the admissions officer and...
Undergraduateilovemax112105 - Dec 13, 2011 / Dii - Dec 13, 2011
|'God has given children to the world' - Community Service/Volunteer Work
Undergraduatekmarie21 - Dec 13, 2011 / Dii - Dec 13, 2011
|'Accounting is a practical course' Univerisity of Minnesota Essay
NEW - The question is: In English, describe your educational interests and goals and what your plans are for when you...
Undergraduatehcs32 - Dec 13, 2011 / — -
|Common app a topic of your choice - 'It's normal to die.'
2 - I am really sorry about your brother; I hope you find solace and secure admission to the college of...
UndergraduateSarahAlmousa - Dec 13, 2011 / collegesearcher - Dec 13, 2011
|'Sun, sand and sea' - Describe the world you come from - MIT Essay
Undergraduatechrono13 - Dec 13, 2011 / astua1 - Dec 13, 2011
|'Art changed and inspired me' - common app short answers
3 - thank you!...
Undergraduatejuliarose15 - Dec 12, 2011 / juliarose15 - Dec 13, 2011
|(my need and passion for writing) Emerson "personal memoirs"
Undergraduatesarahjane515 - Dec 1, 2011 / kayleighlevitt - Dec 13, 2011
|Common App - The catastrophic Japan Earthquake
Undergraduatebballkings15 - Nov 13, 2011 / hfdz7 - Dec 13, 2011
|The essays for a MIT fellowship in the field medical image processing
Undergraduatehuangch - Dec 9, 2011 / huangch - Dec 13, 2011
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