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|'A flash of black and white' - Introduce yourself to Penn
NEW - Feedback anyone? Also, how can I cut this down a bit? It's supposed to be approx. 150 words, but...
Undergraduateblueunicorn - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
|'The quality and atmosphere' - ESSAY FOR RICE. What motivated you.
3 - In multiple student reviews, the students of Rice University are said to have a very balanced lifestyle with the...
Undergraduateskong94 - Dec 21, 2011 / blueunicorn - Dec 21, 2011
|Stanford Intellectual Experience: SilverPlus Internship
Undergraduatecupnoodle123 - Dec 20, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 21, 2011
|"reverse psychology" - U Chicago - Extended Essay
Undergraduatebenzene - Dec 21, 2011 / benzene - Dec 21, 2011
|'foreigners love to remark on Chinese education system' - Common app
10 - Thanx for ur advice, but I really don't have much time.Now I'm confused and don't know what to do...
Undergraduateqq8928999 - Dec 21, 2011 / qq8928999 - Dec 21, 2011
|General supplemental - travel experiences in india
2 - Her kind gestures of love and generosity, even while living a destitute life in India opened my eyes to...
Undergraduateblueunicorn - Dec 21, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 21, 2011
|'Disney miniatures and songs' + 'I'm a Malaysian' - Letter to roommate (2 essays)
Undergraduateambiguousperson - Dec 21, 2011 / ambiguousperson - Dec 21, 2011
|Northwestern Fever- Supplement
3 - Sadly, like the rest of my vivid visions, it came to a close leaving me yearning for Northwestern. I...
UndergraduatePinoyLad - Dec 21, 2011 / AnnaAmy - Dec 21, 2011
|Working as a Lab Assistant at Cornell- Stony Brook Supplemental Essay
NEW - I am applying to SUNY Stony Brook's Honor program and they ask you to respond to the prompt: Evaluate...
Undergraduateraslacrosse - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
|'grandpa's obsession with manual labor' - UIUC: past circumstances and experiences
2 - I think this essay is quite touching and really responds well to the question. Towards the end though- ...
Undergraduatelittlebutterfly - Dec 21, 2011 / trgcook - Dec 21, 2011
|'basketball enthusiast' - Yale -something that you would like us to know.
9 - At my senior tryout for the varsity team, I still failed. After four years of trying out, after...
Undergraduatemakman09 - Dec 20, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 21, 2011
|'the intricateness of computer hardware' - Why Carnegie Essay
3 - The first paragraph is not meaningful. It's just sending some happy sunshine at them and stating your chosen field...
UndergraduateYxSilentxY - Dec 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2011
|(small class size+location+student to teacher ratio)What motivated to choose rice?
3 - This will not only allow me to keep in touch with my family in Houston, but will also provide...
Undergraduatesg120 - Dec 21, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 21, 2011
|'The smell of Seaside Spring' - University of Pennsylvania/UPenn optional
3 - If you hadn't told me at the end this was written from the perspective of your dorm freshman I...
Undergraduatedongjunenator - Dec 21, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 21, 2011
|'Curiosity' - Princeton Topic of Choice
6 - D'awww! Thanks guys! I feel really worried about submitting this. I was deferred from Harvard so I'm kind of...
Undergraduatenicolehardy87 - Dec 19, 2011 / nicolehardy87 - Dec 21, 2011
|'My love for psychology' - Johns Hopkins--tell us about yourself!
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 21, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 21, 2011
|Volunteering at a Retirement Home and How it Has Helped Me Grow
Undergraduateraslacrosse - Dec 21, 2011 / kenyaboyfresh - Dec 21, 2011
|Essay about my motivation- (topic of choice)
3 - Excellent stuff here, it's hard to find room to criticize. but I want to suggest that you sharpen your...
Undergraduatenaseemalammar - Dec 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2011
|'the Flight Manual was learned' - Commonapp the risk you have taken
3 - ... the Flight Manual was learned word for word. ---this is the "passive voice." It does not sound as...
Undergraduatekusman - Dec 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2011
|Rice supplement--unique perspective/piano
3 - Your essay was great! I liked it a lot. It definitely had personality. i don't really have anything you...
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 20, 2011 / veee - Dec 21, 2011
|'Dancing is one of my biggest passions' - Common app personal
Undergraduatesavinggrace8 - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
|Amusement Park Essay: Emory Supplement
NEW - May someone please correct my essay (or give me advise), it is a rough draft. Thank you! Prompt: What...
UndergraduateChopeful - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
|Life is a Game - Common App Essay (Stanford, Harvard, Columbia)
7 - desigirl: oops sry i was thinking about another thread that i posted on well even changing those few things...
UndergraduateChromaz81994 - Dec 19, 2011 / snugglyduckling - Dec 21, 2011
|'I am from South Korea' - RICE UNIVERSITY-PERSPECTIVE ESSAY
2 - Hello Yoo-Won. This was a pleasant read, but allow me to make a few minor suggestions: 1) Your...
Undergraduatebigbangg - Dec 21, 2011 / Balanchine - Dec 21, 2011
|'encounter with a jellyfish' - Cornell Supplement- (Biological Sciences)
Undergraduatedongjunenator - Dec 21, 2011 / dongjunenator - Dec 21, 2011
|'McDonald Vs. Kung Fu Panda' - COMMONAPP ESSAY HELP
2 - First I would like to just say a couple of things about your essay. I loveeee your conclusion!!! I...
UndergraduateWelcomeCollege - Dec 21, 2011 / pinky44 - Dec 21, 2011
|'beyond the realm of traditional engineering' - why Northwestern/engineering?
4 - I would delete "the school that I am applying to" Maybe write, "Another aspect about Northwestern...
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 19, 2011 / tcohen - Dec 21, 2011
|"Who am I?" - Common App Essay
28 - My Comments: 1. Roark is an innovative genius who is always finds himself - who always.. 2. It seems...
UndergraduateItsokaytoGaga - Dec 1, 2011 / RGarvey - Dec 21, 2011
|'Life on a Ping-Pong Table' - YALE ESSAY
UndergraduateWelcomeCollege - Dec 21, 2011 / WelcomeCollege - Dec 21, 2011
|'multiple times' + 'raised in Jamaica' + 'strenuous exercise' Stanford Supplements
6 - Thanks all for your comments and advice! I will definitely make the adjustments. I was not sure about...
UndergraduateRGarvey - Dec 21, 2011 / RGarvey - Dec 21, 2011
|'Thanksgiving 2011' - Harvard Essay
UndergraduateWelcomeCollege - Dec 21, 2011 / desm2012 - Dec 21, 2011
|'not like all the other boys' - Common App- Karate
UndergraduatePinoyLad - Dec 21, 2011 / PinoyLad - Dec 21, 2011
|'write down the number quickly' Harvard, Stanford, Yale - a person who influenced you
3 - Hey thanks for your comment on my Stanford romantic essay! I really enjoyed reading this, but I agree with...
UndergraduateMichaelJ - Dec 21, 2011 / Armaan M - Dec 21, 2011
|'educational career from the school of my village' - US application
3 - You have a very unique story. That alone, without additional writing skills, will make you stand out. I...
UndergraduateUSMAN GUJJAR - Dec 21, 2011 / aijw824 - Dec 21, 2011
|'problems caused by globalization' - Georgetown: Walsh School of Foreign Service
Undergraduateswaveman - Dec 21, 2011 / swaveman - Dec 21, 2011
|'It's not solely about the academics' - Emory University
3 - Way to go Andrew! You have some brilliant reasons to study there. It shows that you've done your homework...
Undergraduatekwikandrew - Dec 21, 2011 / collegesearcher - Dec 21, 2011
|"Embracing the unknown" - feedback for personal statement
UndergraduateGauffrette - Dec 21, 2011 / Gauffrette - Dec 21, 2011
|"Our Perception"-Common App essay
5 - Yah I think it would boost your ethos if you dropped "metacognition" a couple times. Also, I recommend changing...
Undergraduatespfeufer - Dec 19, 2011 / Armaan M - Dec 21, 2011
|'Life in new aspects - On Philosophy' - CommonApp Essay
4 - I think you're very well spoken, intelligent and a great writer. I usually say 'good luck in school' or...
UndergraduateSchopenhauer - Dec 20, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 21, 2011
|Bowdoin essay - Intellectual engagement in Vietnam and the US
3 - Thank you very much. I do not know what exactly "intellectual engagement" is, and I think that this is...
Undergraduateidk - Dec 21, 2011 / idk - Dec 21, 2011
|'never been a funny person' Stanford Supplement-Intellectual Vitality-friend/social
4 - maybe it's just me, but I'm confused by German Club and Montrose, not sure who they are actually....
UndergraduateCaitlinLea - Dec 19, 2011 / Guest - Dec 21, 2011
|'Iqbal's story' - Spanish native speaker but I am applying for a US college
Undergraduatemarielnl94 - Dec 17, 2011 / m7liam - Dec 21, 2011
|"Where Is Home?" Common Application Essay
Undergraduateonymaster - Dec 12, 2011 / qq8928999 - Dec 21, 2011
|School Brochures- Vassar Supp to the common app
Undergraduatearianna_muv - Dec 20, 2011 / USMAN GUJJAR - Dec 21, 2011
|'Pivotal Decisions ' - Too Deep or not Deep enough? Adoption Commonapp essay
Undergraduatemarcusrschmidt - Dec 20, 2011 / USMAN GUJJAR - Dec 21, 2011
|'the bottom of things' - Why I want to study engineering and at Duke
6 - The beginning is really good and your reasons are strong, the only thing I want to remark is ...
UndergraduateNikoliT - Dec 18, 2011 / flowroma - Dec 21, 2011
|'I chose Mechanical Engineering' - NUS Admission
2 - Try to read more and more English matrial,your writing ability will increase automatically.Start from you childhood....
UndergraduateD41V30N - Dec 20, 2011 / USMAN GUJJAR - Dec 21, 2011
|Personal Statement! Engineering, "My Home" UC Prompt 1/Common App
4 - Thank you! (:...
UndergraduateVic9871 - Dec 1, 2011 / Vic9871 - Dec 21, 2011
|Common Application "Charity"
NEW - I am not good at English writing and really need help. Welcome any kind of advice.Thank you, I appreciate...
UndergraduateSilviaChance - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
|Yale Supp't Essay- The Trouble with Math
7 - I thought it was quite an interesting essay. I would just read it over once super slowly and fix...
Undergraduatearbrelibre - Dec 20, 2011 / Armaan M - Dec 21, 2011
|'I live a vegan lifestyle' - issue of importance
3 - I chose to become vegan for three reasons: cruelty towards animals in the modern meat and dairy industries, to...
Undergraduatecaiti4 - Dec 2, 2011 / arianna_muv - Dec 20, 2011
|'women's studies in Cornell college of arts and sciences' - cornell sup
NEW - College of Arts and Sciences:describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us...
Undergraduatekexu2012 - Dec 20, 2011 / — -
|'I started Kumon' - uiuc: how your past impacted who you are and your major?
3 - You sound like a braggart. Colleges want you to imply about your achievements, not boast about yourself....
Undergraduateeheu3000 - Dec 11, 2011 / lee235717 - Dec 20, 2011
|'congested the living room' - good enough for Ivies?
3 - This is really quite brilliant. I really enjoyed how the rich details thoroughly immerses the reader in the experience....
Undergraduatejasononwenu - Dec 20, 2011 / marcusrschmidt - Dec 20, 2011
|'understand what teachers mean' - COMMON APP, SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCE
Undergraduatecchi - Dec 20, 2011 / Erica Htet - Dec 20, 2011
|'I want to major in statistics' - UNC Chapel Hill Discovery Essay
NEW - What's your latest discovery? What do you hope to learn next? RINNNGGGG. I walk into the classroom as...
UndergraduateRennir - Dec 20, 2011 / — -
|I have the parts, but can I mix it all together? USNA prompt.
4 - About the detail vs variety thing, it's a tough call. I thinkyou should do what goes more with your...
UndergraduateBethanyPark - Dec 19, 2011 / marielnl94 - Dec 20, 2011
|'school deals with computers' - extracurricular activies or work experience
3 - I think you should talk about this one website you have created and you're proud of. Don't write down...
Undergraduatemursel - Dec 19, 2011 / marielnl94 - Dec 20, 2011
|'Fate is a chance' - Johns Hopkins supplement
Undergraduatem45over - Dec 20, 2011 / m45over - Dec 20, 2011
|Making Brownies to help cure cancer: Bowdoin Supplement
5 - Overall, your essay is a very good one. But I think using both "exhausted" and "feeling like a battery...
Undergraduatearianna_muv - Dec 20, 2011 / Erica Htet - Dec 20, 2011
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