|Undergraduate [25,738] - page 204 of 429|
|Personal Statement! Engineering, "My Home" UC Prompt 1/Common App
4 - Thank you! (:...
UndergraduateVic9871 - Dec 1, 2011 / Vic9871 - Dec 21, 2011
|Common Application "Charity"
NEW - I am not good at English writing and really need help. Welcome any kind of advice.Thank you, I appreciate...
UndergraduateSilviaChance - Dec 21, 2011 / — -
|Yale Supp't Essay- The Trouble with Math
7 - I thought it was quite an interesting essay. I would just read it over once super slowly and fix...
Undergraduatearbrelibre - Dec 20, 2011 / Armaan M - Dec 21, 2011
|'I live a vegan lifestyle' - issue of importance
3 - I chose to become vegan for three reasons: cruelty towards animals in the modern meat and dairy industries, to...
Undergraduatecaiti4 - Dec 2, 2011 / arianna_muv - Dec 20, 2011
|'women's studies in Cornell college of arts and sciences' - cornell sup
NEW - College of Arts and Sciences:describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us...
Undergraduatekexu2012 - Dec 20, 2011 / — -
|'I started Kumon' - uiuc: how your past impacted who you are and your major?
3 - You sound like a braggart. Colleges want you to imply about your achievements, not boast about yourself....
Undergraduateeheu3000 - Dec 11, 2011 / lee235717 - Dec 20, 2011
|'congested the living room' - good enough for Ivies?
3 - This is really quite brilliant. I really enjoyed how the rich details thoroughly immerses the reader in the experience....
Undergraduatejasononwenu - Dec 20, 2011 / marcusrschmidt - Dec 20, 2011
|'understand what teachers mean' - COMMON APP, SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCE
Undergraduatecchi - Dec 20, 2011 / Erica Htet - Dec 20, 2011
|'I want to major in statistics' - UNC Chapel Hill Discovery Essay
NEW - What's your latest discovery? What do you hope to learn next? RINNNGGGG. I walk into the classroom as...
UndergraduateRennir - Dec 20, 2011 / — -
|I have the parts, but can I mix it all together? USNA prompt.
4 - About the detail vs variety thing, it's a tough call. I thinkyou should do what goes more with your...
UndergraduateBethanyPark - Dec 19, 2011 / marielnl94 - Dec 20, 2011
|'school deals with computers' - extracurricular activies or work experience
3 - I think you should talk about this one website you have created and you're proud of. Don't write down...
Undergraduatemursel - Dec 19, 2011 / marielnl94 - Dec 20, 2011
|'Fate is a chance' - Johns Hopkins supplement
Undergraduatem45over - Dec 20, 2011 / m45over - Dec 20, 2011
|Making Brownies to help cure cancer: Bowdoin Supplement
5 - Overall, your essay is a very good one. But I think using both "exhausted" and "feeling like a battery...
Undergraduatearianna_muv - Dec 20, 2011 / Erica Htet - Dec 20, 2011
|Bridging the Disciplines- UNC Chapel-Hill supplemental essay
Undergraduatekzheng - Dec 20, 2011 / kzheng - Dec 20, 2011
|Stanford - "Intellectual Vitality." Writing about childhood experience with a globe.
Undergraduatedrw1019 - Dec 18, 2011 / Yardenah - Dec 20, 2011
|'relationships between science and art' - USC Supplement
6 - Thank you!!...
UndergraduateDesiGirl - Dec 20, 2011 / DesiGirl - Dec 20, 2011
|"Carpe Diem" UC #2- World you come from..
UndergraduateNeonGhost - Nov 26, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2011
|'Basketball is the passion i have' - Short Answer - EC Activity
3 - This one is 150 words and 800 characters long. The limit is 1000 characters. i guess i might add...
Undergraduateemircan57 - Dec 20, 2011 / emircan57 - Dec 20, 2011
|'a strange personality' - Introduce yourself to UPenn
Undergraduatedjking99 - Dec 20, 2011 / djking99 - Dec 20, 2011
|'a BMW, dream school: U of M Ann Arbor' - Short Response about College
3 - I agree with the poster above. If you can replace the name of the college with another one (see...
UndergraduateDilara1010 - Dec 20, 2011 / erndawg - Dec 20, 2011
|UVA supplement/ My favorite word--love
4 - I would suggest tightening you essay up and making your essay more specific. You move too quickly from one...
Undergraduatebb0131 - Dec 20, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Dec 20, 2011
|'I shoot things' - Activity Essay for M.I.T.
UndergraduateDimitris - Dec 14, 2011 / Dimitris - Dec 20, 2011
|my life in a small town of Pakistan, what can I contribute to the environment at Rice
NEW - While I was thinking about what I should respond to the prompt, I read the following statement on the...
Undergraduatemahnoorzia14 - Dec 20, 2011 / — -
|'Hey dude' essay for Roommate - Stanford app
10 - Your personality shines through in this essay. This can be seen from the very beginning (dude). Do not change...
Undergraduateastua1 - Dec 12, 2011 / raza68 - Dec 20, 2011
|Unique, fun, community--Why Northwestern?
6 - Awesome essay! I would take out the part of not visiting the school (it is, honestly, superfluous). I love...
Undergraduatekenyaboyfresh - Dec 17, 2011 / raza68 - Dec 20, 2011
|'Center for Talented Youth' - Common App - how a summer camp changed my life
8 - I really like how you managed to turn a common app essay into an elegant and flowing experience. I...
UndergraduateFlyingNimbus - Nov 30, 2011 / mc52 - Dec 20, 2011
|Power is a quality that my mind has an affinity for; UC - An Ending to Infinity
Undergraduatemakman09 - Nov 23, 2011 / Dilara1010 - Dec 20, 2011
|'transformed into reality' - Common App: Robotics
UndergraduateTheJavaDuke - Dec 20, 2011 / TheJavaDuke - Dec 20, 2011
|'idyllic day by the lake' - - Emerson College Essay
7 - First take a deep breath and envision that same day. (well if you can) Remember the sights, smells and...
Undergraduatejerrytherock31 - Dec 18, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 20, 2011
|'purple and feminism' - why northwestern weinburg school of arts and sciences
NEW - Purple is my favorite color. It has always given me the sexy and mysterious impression. But my previous feeling...
Undergraduatekexu2012 - Dec 20, 2011 / — -
|'A-level over Nepal government's +2 level' - Vassar
4 - I think you should focus more on how you think that having liberal-arts education can prepare you as an...
Undergraduatewilliams01 - Dec 19, 2011 / dhanu12 - Dec 20, 2011
|'System thinking' - short essay on common app
Undergraduatekatrina93 - Dec 19, 2011 / katrina93 - Dec 20, 2011
|'Stanford sets the character limit' - Supplement Essay- Roommate
Undergraduatelch920619x - Dec 20, 2011 / dumi - Dec 20, 2011
|How a correct stance on a controversial topic could exist/ ethical dilemma
3 - The essay is good. You're simple and to the point. You follow the prompt, but your vague though. I...
Undergraduatesean111 - Dec 20, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 20, 2011
|"started playing the piano" - common app essay
Undergraduateeyansu1 - Dec 20, 2011 / sean111 - Dec 20, 2011
|'Building my own desktop computer' MIT Pleasure Essay
3 - for the first essay, it seems as if you find pleasure in playing games/surfing the web/social networking rather than...
Undergraduatehutch428 - Dec 19, 2011 / sean111 - Dec 20, 2011
|'always enjoyed working alone' - Rochester Supplement
4 - I like the variety of word choice you have going on in your paragraph however you shouldn't make it...
Undergraduatesean111 - Dec 10, 2011 / mc52 - Dec 20, 2011
|'a very political person' - What matters most to you and why?- Stanford Supp't
2 - I'm not a grammar whiz, but your essay is following the prompt. One thing you should do is pick...
Undergraduatearbrelibre - Dec 20, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 20, 2011
|Through the perspective of an engineer. UPENN ESSAY
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 19, 2011 / lee235717 - Dec 20, 2011
|"Of Freedom and Education" - Carnegie Mellon Supplement
5 - This essay is great. I can't find anything wrong with it, but I suggest one thing. Try to have...
Undergraduatekjhoratio - Dec 19, 2011 / makman09 - Dec 20, 2011
|'mesmerized by Duke's Economic Department' Why Duke? Trinity College Supplemental
3 - "From the academic standpoint", probably better worded as "From an academic standpoint", other than that, your essay is very...
Undergraduatekzheng - Dec 19, 2011 / faux_soup - Dec 20, 2011
|'I saw Duke University in the top ten' - TRINITY SUPPLEMENTAL
6 - I like your essay, but I'd suggest omitting some cliches. For example, "fitting the last piece of a thousand-piece...
Undergraduatecollegesearcher - Dec 13, 2011 / arbrelibre - Dec 20, 2011
|'Computer as the greatest source of inormation' - MIT Pleasure Essay
6 - Thank you for that extremely insightful and thought-provoking comment. I don't think I would have gotten in anywhere with...
Undergraduatehutch428 - Dec 19, 2011 / hutch428 - Dec 19, 2011
|'Monique and me smiling on the front page' - Columbia, Rice, UChicago, Harvard, Brown
9 - ha I did not even notice both words had "tens" in them. I also changed notwithstanding to despite. ...
Undergraduatecarolynah92 - Dec 17, 2011 / carolynah92 - Dec 19, 2011
|'business career' + 'cover magazine person' + 'lifeguard' Syracuse Supplements
2 - Nice essays. I really liked the first one talking about the movie Money Never sleeps. It also clearly illustrates...
UndergraduateG_Ear_B_Ear815 - Dec 19, 2011 / tochiajiwe - Dec 19, 2011
|'travel to my parent village of Aba, Nigeria' Personal statement for medical program
2 - This is very well-written both in regards to content and grammar. Your tale seems to clearly illustrate what got...
Undergraduatetochiajiwe - Dec 19, 2011 / G_Ear_B_Ear815 - Dec 19, 2011
|"Quantum Society" or "children's' charity school" Chosing between two short answers
Undergraduateadaswani - Dec 19, 2011 / weima - Dec 19, 2011
|Why do I want to study Biology at Cornell - Cornell supplemental essay
2 - I think it would be more appropriate if: I have been in love with science... (since you should...
Undergraduateidk - Dec 19, 2011 / weima - Dec 19, 2011
|'this occurred in Slovenia' - Common Application Essay on travelling/moving
5 - Thanks! I know what you mean. I'm thinking of writing a slightly longer essay with more detail, rather than...
Undergraduatedongjunenator - Dec 19, 2011 / dongjunenator - Dec 19, 2011
|'Beauty' - Stanford What matters to you
4 - Thanks guys for the comments:) Jenny, I made some changes with your advice...do mind seeing how my essay is...
Undergraduatecupnoodle123 - Dec 19, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 19, 2011
|"Dropping A Class"-Yale Supplement Essay
3 - Thank you for the really great feedback! I definitely need to add more descriptive adjectives, and I will work...
Undergraduatekjbxcs23 - Dec 19, 2011 / kjbxcs23 - Dec 19, 2011
|"I'm not an athlete" Brown Supplement Q, Perspective change
Undergraduatejjm7000 - Dec 19, 2011 / jjm7000 - Dec 19, 2011
|'MISSION ACCOMPLISHED' - SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCE AND IMPACT ON YOU
6 - Probably "learned" is a better word than "learnt"...I've never really seen "learnt" being used. Also, the last sentence is...
Undergraduatecollegesearcher - Dec 13, 2011 / mchehn - Dec 19, 2011
|'This triple victory in soccer' - achievement, risk
3 - I have been playing soccer from the age of five, and overtime I have developed an immense passion; love...
UndergraduateRGarvey - Dec 19, 2011 / collegesearcher - Dec 19, 2011
|I've had my answer cut off - consequences?
4 - Haha, thanks for the reassurance. I just made the same mistake, and I'm glad to know that they're receptive...
Undergraduatefredday - Dec 19, 2011 / jjm7000 - Dec 19, 2011
|'Architecture is something' - my "why tulane" essay
3 - I wouldn't dwell on the lack of a portfolio or your indecisiveness. Many students change majors, most even. If...
Undergraduatebaboons - Dec 15, 2011 / fallenchemist - Dec 19, 2011
|'My wild imagination' - BU-roommate essay
2 - I really like your essay. I think it introduces you in an uncomfortable experience and how you have matured...
Undergraduatecolie101 - Dec 19, 2011 / marielnl94 - Dec 19, 2011
|'Storytellers' - Common Application Essay, perhaps using for Brown
4 - This is a really good essay! Great description and imagery! As for the title, you could probably come up...
Undergraduatecollegecat - Dec 13, 2011 / carolynah92 - Dec 19, 2011
|How to start a personal statement about why I'm applying etc?
2 - What I would do first is describe myself. Maybe you are a passionate reader or a free-time webpage designer....
UndergraduateYoungForever - Dec 19, 2011 / marielnl94 - Dec 19, 2011
|'My loved ones' why are you interested in pursuing a career in medicine
4 - You're welcome. I think this essay can really work and get you admitted if you correct those little details....
Undergraduatearati - Dec 18, 2011 / marielnl94 - Dec 19, 2011
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