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|'Choreography allows me to purse dance' - Johns Hopkins- Tell us about yourself
2 - Every few months at Cypress Academy I get to teach my routines to a group of girls whose family's...
Undergraduatebabygurl2012 - Dec 18, 2011 / smtz88 - Dec 18, 2011
|'to study in US instead of studying medicine here' - personal essay?
3 - I don't like the beginning. You should grab the reader's attentions and really show them what you got! The...
Undergraduatesoeyunaing - Dec 18, 2011 / babygurl2012 - Dec 18, 2011
|NYU Supplement - English Exchange experience in school
5 - To be honest, you don't really answer the prompt at all. Based on what you wrote, it seems as...
Undergraduatetrishhha - Dec 13, 2011 / lee235717 - Dec 18, 2011
|'it was unique and had more to offer' -Why did you choose Swarthmore?
3 - In the second paragraph, you talk a lot about the man who made you interested in the college. If...
Undergraduatepitt4life01 - Dec 18, 2011 / smtz88 - Dec 18, 2011
|Common App main essay: 'Paradoxical Christian'
3 - no no, that really helped...actually I also felt that way...I was sorta framing my 2nd paragraph around the prompt,...
Undergraduatecupnoodle123 - Dec 18, 2011 / cupnoodle123 - Dec 18, 2011
|'an engineer who can make a difference' - Cornell Engineering- Computers
3 - Thanks for the input! I definitely agree with what you're saying, especially the "sell yourself over advertising the university"...
UndergraduateFightGravity - Dec 17, 2011 / FightGravity - Dec 18, 2011
|Commonapp Elephant Foot Disease
UndergraduateJackSparrow - Dec 18, 2011 / JackSparrow - Dec 18, 2011
|'how I relate to the world' - An Intellectual Opportunity at Stanford
3 - This is the significance of the sentence... it's the conclusion of the first sentence. I think it should...
Undergraduatesaurabh93 - Dec 15, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 18, 2011
|'The Nerds' - USC Engineering Supplement
5 - Sarah and Christine practically said everything that I would have said in a nutshell. I loved your essay, it...
UndergraduateDesiGirl - Dec 17, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 18, 2011
|UVa Supplements. Work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature
2 - You can improve your writing by omitting "that" whenever you get the chance. Kill the little weasel, or it'll...
UndergraduatePandaNinja015 - Dec 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 18, 2011
|'Muslims are kind people' - a perspective I will contribute to Rice
Undergraduatenaseemalammar - Dec 18, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 18, 2011
|'UCLA's renowned Feigon Lab' - Common App. Work Experience Essay
NEW - Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. In order to further my passion...
UndergraduateDesiGirl - Dec 18, 2011 / — -
|"Shouldn't I type this instead?" - On handwriting - Commonapp essay
18 - I'm glad you are applying to an all-women school! These liberal arts colleges are a bit underrated, but they...
Undergraduateaugust23vn - Dec 10, 2011 / Alicegz - Dec 18, 2011
|'communities of the modern era' - Lehigh University: equity and community
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Dec 18, 2011 / ZhoeK - Dec 18, 2011
|'The more united the members' - What does community mean to you?
Undergraduateagthdoppler207 - Dec 18, 2011 / jerrytherock31 - Dec 18, 2011
|'a difficult divorce' - Common app for ivies
4 - sweet that,s kinda what i was feeling, i want to put the main emphasis on how my experience has...
Undergraduatefredday - Dec 16, 2011 / fredday - Dec 18, 2011
|Common App Essay - The Last Supper
3 - I'm not a professional editor also. And my writing skills is to some aspects much weaker than yours. But...
Undergraduatehappylandfill - Dec 18, 2011 / kexu2012 - Dec 18, 2011
|'the Medill School of Journalism' - Why Northwestern University
NEW - I know it's crazy to apply for Medill as an undergraduate. But i really need advices on essay. I...
Undergraduatekexu2012 - Dec 18, 2011 / — -
|'the Directed Studies Program' - why Yale
4 - Thank you for your advice! I think it's really helpful! I'm amending the draft and I would edit in...
Undergraduatekexu2012 - Dec 17, 2011 / kexu2012 - Dec 18, 2011
|The most disgraceful program becomes the epitome of my responsibilities BROWN ESSAY!!
3 - I agree with super57. I definitely think that you should make your essay more exciting. The first line is...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 18, 2011 / twilista - Dec 18, 2011
|'Sensitivity, responsibility and drive' - Boston University Supplement
7 - The substance is super and quite practical with live examples and quotes that I really appreciate.however a small grammatic...
Undergraduatesohaibsiddiqui - Dec 16, 2011 / laalinibhogadi - Dec 18, 2011
|'packet drink' - the most significant challenge that society faces today? - Stanford
Undergraduatedelljonathan - Dec 18, 2011 / delljonathan - Dec 18, 2011
|'a place of discovery and exploration' - Why Reed? essay
UndergraduateZachariah - Dec 7, 2011 / super57 - Dec 18, 2011
|'my father's death' - a person who has had a significant influence
Undergraduateagthdoppler207 - Dec 18, 2011 / super57 - Dec 18, 2011
|'heart surgery' + 'Engineering leaders' + 'A geek' - USC for engineering department
3 - thankyou so much for your corrections. :) please do comment on my 2nd and 3rd essays. looking forward for...
Undergraduatecoralandd - Dec 18, 2011 / coralandd - Dec 18, 2011
|'I wasn't ready for college' + 'No talk about me' -Intellectual Vitality and roommate
3 - thankyou for your feedback! :) the limit is 2000 characters if I'm not mistaken..so I hope this should be...
Undergraduatecoralandd - Dec 16, 2011 / coralandd - Dec 18, 2011
|Grocery Shopping-Common Application Essay
Undergraduatecarolynah92 - Dec 13, 2011 / carolynah92 - Dec 17, 2011
|'I came to the United States from Taipei, Taiwan' significant experience- Common App
Undergraduatejerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011 / lumberjack23 - Dec 17, 2011
|My father, the driver. Commonapp essay.
4 - I really liked your father's story! I think you could have focused more on you and what you learned...
UndergraduateCleopatra - Dec 17, 2011 / Alicegz - Dec 17, 2011
|College App 'Engineering is my dream'
3 - Here are some of my suggestions: through various articles, ads, and the praise from fellow classmates and I've read...
Undergraduatec0mputerz - Dec 16, 2011 / Alicegz - Dec 17, 2011
|"Oregonians" + "Practicality" - University of Rochester Supplements
2 - I think your answer to #2 was spot on, however I don't think you answered the actual question for...
Undergraduateprospopt2012 - Dec 17, 2011 / jbauer - Dec 17, 2011
|'medical equipment' - Why Duke Engineering?
3 - I agree with Alicegz, however i think you should omit the red part instead of changing it. It is...
UndergraduateAnnAMaY - Dec 17, 2011 / Cleopatra - Dec 17, 2011
|'my energy in the classroom' - Why UPenn and what can you contribute?
6 - I like your essay-it's really sincere! There are some changes you can make: I overcame this challenge withendless...
Undergraduatesharx - Dec 15, 2011 / Alicegz - Dec 17, 2011
|How can emotions affect our understanding and our living? Columbia Essay!
3 - I liked both of your essays a lot! I agree with the poster above, if you make those adjustments...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 17, 2011 / erndawg - Dec 17, 2011
|'academic rigor that accommodate me' - Common App transfer essay
Undergraduategenerous_kaz - Dec 16, 2011 / generous_kaz - Dec 17, 2011
|Essay on Your interests and personality Your academic objectives Your goals
UndergraduateSahar45 - Dec 15, 2011 / Sahar45 - Dec 17, 2011
|'math and science' + 'Christmas' + 'Lego' - Brown Engineering 3 Questions
NEW - This is my first draft for the three engineering questions in Brown University's Supplement. any tips would be greatly...
Undergraduatejjm7000 - Dec 17, 2011 / — -
|UVA Supplement - Favorite Word "Soar"
Undergraduatesjmiller1993 - Dec 17, 2011 / sjmiller1993 - Dec 17, 2011
|'a swirling storm' - UChicago Short Response Question 1
3 - Great job. Perfect transitions, good coherence. It has substance and reads well. Not too wordy. overall, very good....
Undergraduatejfrancishutch - Dec 11, 2011 / sohaibsiddiqui - Dec 17, 2011
|"We're having chickpea stew for dinner!" - Brown RD Supplement
5 - I am also applying to Brown, and the first paragraph is actually the prompt; it's not part of the...
UndergraduateAU0594 - Dec 12, 2011 / collegecat - Dec 17, 2011
|Short Answer about voluntary officework
6 - Hey, what if I crossed the students and teachers part and kind of finished it off, like this? Also,...
UndergraduateNikoliT - Dec 16, 2011 / NikoliT - Dec 17, 2011
|Several Design School Admin Essay
Undergraduatejbauer - Dec 16, 2011 / jbauer - Dec 17, 2011
|'Why not Tufts' + ' My mother' - Tufts Short Questions
3 - I corrected the last sentence afterwards writing "A place where my wicked talent is rather than discouraged my weird...
Undergraduatesuper57 - Dec 16, 2011 / super57 - Dec 17, 2011
|Short Answer: "Tell us what you found meaningful about [The Jungle Book]"
7 - Seen as a whole these supplementary questions do construct the bigger picture about you- reflecting, growing, relating and so...
UndergraduateDaybreak - Dec 14, 2011 / emanon - Dec 17, 2011
|'Beautiful campus' -What do you find appealing about Columbia University?- Supplement
3 - I agree with the one above, its a great essay but you should be more specific. Maybe mention how...
Undergraduatekerg945 - Dec 13, 2011 / AU0594 - Dec 16, 2011
|"Three reasons"----Why Harvey Mudd College Essay
Undergraduateiamyangfan930 - Dec 16, 2011 / iamyangfan930 - Dec 16, 2011
|I would have never thought that I would enjoy being dehumanized
Undergraduatelana94 - Dec 14, 2011 / Daybreak - Dec 16, 2011
|'For whom would you risk it all?' - ESSAY FOR UCHICAGO
7 - Yeah, that's better :) Also, the beginning is a bit strange, here I suggest an alternate. What people...
Undergraduatejfrancishutch - Dec 12, 2011 / Daybreak - Dec 16, 2011
|Life in a Travel Trailer - Common App Essay for Wash U in St. Louis
3 - LOVE this essay :) it's honest and personal without tugging on your heartstrings TOO much. really love the last...
Undergraduatenippycan - Dec 15, 2011 / lana94 - Dec 16, 2011
|'like to a bowl of soup' - What Perspective would you contribute
2 - I like your starting line. I suggest you should talk about family values. And how they have helped you....
UndergraduateDii - Dec 16, 2011 / sohaibsiddiqui - Dec 16, 2011
|'something new to uncover' - Film as my extracurricular activity
2 - Yes I think it needs a little more personalization like could be "The experience is so powerful...
UndergraduateSmithsmithsmith - Dec 16, 2011 / Dii - Dec 16, 2011
|'I'm capable not only of surviving in any environment' - UC Essay, topic 1
6 - I think that this is a good essay topic, but it feels abrupt. maybe you should talk about your...
Undergraduatewarcraft - Nov 13, 2011 / M22 - Dec 16, 2011
|'Dad as Influential Person' - Common App Essay
6 - Good essay! A few grammatical errors here and there, but content to me seems good: it's thought provoking and...
Undergraduatetpaine02 - Dec 9, 2011 / fredday - Dec 16, 2011
|My journey to changing the world - Common App
7 - Nice essay :) "I spent hours writing a very passionate email to my principal who, as it turns...
Undergraduateangelalp19 - Dec 15, 2011 / sanjain - Dec 16, 2011
|"Thank goodness!" - Very short Columbia university prompt
UndergraduateHSaifa - Dec 16, 2011 / Smithsmithsmith - Dec 16, 2011
|'Month of Ramadan is the holy month' - Extracurricular Essay - Hope
Undergraduatepothepanda3 - Dec 16, 2011 / namato - Dec 16, 2011
|Vassar Supplement Essay - My Hogwarts
2 - Hi there pothepanda3, Firstly, thank you for commenting on my Columbia essay :):) Your essay is wonderfully...
Undergraduatepothepanda3 - Dec 15, 2011 / namato - Dec 16, 2011
|'the seventeen-kilometer bicycle ride' - Penn Optional
UndergraduateGuest - Nov 30, 2011 / Guest - Dec 16, 2011
|'Seeing the World Through Sand' - Common App Short Extracurricular Essay
Undergraduatetwilista - Dec 11, 2011 / lee235717 - Dec 16, 2011
|'interdisciplinary nature of the curriculum' - Why the College Of Wooster?
Undergraduatedanigreenhouse - Dec 13, 2011 / danigreenhouse - Dec 16, 2011
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