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|'medical equipment' - Why Duke Engineering?
3 - I agree with Alicegz, however i think you should omit the red part instead of changing it. It is...
UndergraduateAnnAMaY - Dec 17, 2011 / Cleopatra - Dec 17, 2011
|'my energy in the classroom' - Why UPenn and what can you contribute?
6 - I like your essay-it's really sincere! There are some changes you can make: I overcame this challenge withendless...
Undergraduatesharx - Dec 15, 2011 / Alicegz - Dec 17, 2011
|How can emotions affect our understanding and our living? Columbia Essay!
3 - I liked both of your essays a lot! I agree with the poster above, if you make those adjustments...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 17, 2011 / erndawg - Dec 17, 2011
|'academic rigor that accommodate me' - Common App transfer essay
Undergraduategenerous_kaz - Dec 16, 2011 / generous_kaz - Dec 17, 2011
|Essay on Your interests and personality Your academic objectives Your goals
UndergraduateSahar45 - Dec 15, 2011 / Sahar45 - Dec 17, 2011
|'math and science' + 'Christmas' + 'Lego' - Brown Engineering 3 Questions
NEW - This is my first draft for the three engineering questions in Brown University's Supplement. any tips would be greatly...
Undergraduatejjm7000 - Dec 17, 2011 / — -
|UVA Supplement - Favorite Word "Soar"
Undergraduatesjmiller1993 - Dec 17, 2011 / sjmiller1993 - Dec 17, 2011
|'a swirling storm' - UChicago Short Response Question 1
3 - Great job. Perfect transitions, good coherence. It has substance and reads well. Not too wordy. overall, very good....
Undergraduatejfrancishutch - Dec 11, 2011 / sohaibsiddiqui - Dec 17, 2011
|"We're having chickpea stew for dinner!" - Brown RD Supplement
5 - I am also applying to Brown, and the first paragraph is actually the prompt; it's not part of the...
UndergraduateAU0594 - Dec 12, 2011 / collegecat - Dec 17, 2011
|Short Answer about voluntary officework
6 - Hey, what if I crossed the students and teachers part and kind of finished it off, like this? Also,...
UndergraduateNikoliT - Dec 16, 2011 / NikoliT - Dec 17, 2011
|Several Design School Admin Essay
Undergraduatejbauer - Dec 16, 2011 / jbauer - Dec 17, 2011
|'Why not Tufts' + ' My mother' - Tufts Short Questions
3 - I corrected the last sentence afterwards writing "A place where my wicked talent is rather than discouraged my weird...
Undergraduatesuper57 - Dec 16, 2011 / super57 - Dec 17, 2011
|Short Answer: "Tell us what you found meaningful about [The Jungle Book]"
7 - Seen as a whole these supplementary questions do construct the bigger picture about you- reflecting, growing, relating and so...
UndergraduateDaybreak - Dec 14, 2011 / emanon - Dec 17, 2011
|'Beautiful campus' -What do you find appealing about Columbia University?- Supplement
3 - I agree with the one above, its a great essay but you should be more specific. Maybe mention how...
Undergraduatekerg945 - Dec 13, 2011 / AU0594 - Dec 16, 2011
|"Three reasons"----Why Harvey Mudd College Essay
Undergraduateiamyangfan930 - Dec 16, 2011 / iamyangfan930 - Dec 16, 2011
|I would have never thought that I would enjoy being dehumanized
Undergraduatelana94 - Dec 14, 2011 / Daybreak - Dec 16, 2011
|'For whom would you risk it all?' - ESSAY FOR UCHICAGO
7 - Yeah, that's better :) Also, the beginning is a bit strange, here I suggest an alternate. What people...
Undergraduatejfrancishutch - Dec 12, 2011 / Daybreak - Dec 16, 2011
|Life in a Travel Trailer - Common App Essay for Wash U in St. Louis
3 - LOVE this essay :) it's honest and personal without tugging on your heartstrings TOO much. really love the last...
Undergraduatenippycan - Dec 15, 2011 / lana94 - Dec 16, 2011
|'like to a bowl of soup' - What Perspective would you contribute
2 - I like your starting line. I suggest you should talk about family values. And how they have helped you....
UndergraduateDii - Dec 16, 2011 / sohaibsiddiqui - Dec 16, 2011
|'something new to uncover' - Film as my extracurricular activity
2 - Yes I think it needs a little more personalization like could be "The experience is so powerful...
UndergraduateSmithsmithsmith - Dec 16, 2011 / Dii - Dec 16, 2011
|'I'm capable not only of surviving in any environment' - UC Essay, topic 1
6 - I think that this is a good essay topic, but it feels abrupt. maybe you should talk about your...
Undergraduatewarcraft - Nov 13, 2011 / M22 - Dec 16, 2011
|'Dad as Influential Person' - Common App Essay
6 - Good essay! A few grammatical errors here and there, but content to me seems good: it's thought provoking and...
Undergraduatetpaine02 - Dec 9, 2011 / fredday - Dec 16, 2011
|My journey to changing the world - Common App
7 - Nice essay :) "I spent hours writing a very passionate email to my principal who, as it turns...
Undergraduateangelalp19 - Dec 15, 2011 / sanjain - Dec 16, 2011
|"Thank goodness!" - Very short Columbia university prompt
UndergraduateHSaifa - Dec 16, 2011 / Smithsmithsmith - Dec 16, 2011
|'Month of Ramadan is the holy month' - Extracurricular Essay - Hope
Undergraduatepothepanda3 - Dec 16, 2011 / namato - Dec 16, 2011
|Vassar Supplement Essay - My Hogwarts
2 - Hi there pothepanda3, Firstly, thank you for commenting on my Columbia essay :):) Your essay is wonderfully...
Undergraduatepothepanda3 - Dec 15, 2011 / namato - Dec 16, 2011
|'the seventeen-kilometer bicycle ride' - Penn Optional
UndergraduateGuest - Nov 30, 2011 / Guest - Dec 16, 2011
|'Seeing the World Through Sand' - Common App Short Extracurricular Essay
Undergraduatetwilista - Dec 11, 2011 / lee235717 - Dec 16, 2011
|'interdisciplinary nature of the curriculum' - Why the College Of Wooster?
Undergraduatedanigreenhouse - Dec 13, 2011 / danigreenhouse - Dec 16, 2011
|'I don't know.' - Common app for Princeton, Columbia, Harvey
7 - It might just be me, but I find 'decisions' to be repetitive in these lines. Perhaps you should...
Undergraduateleviator - Dec 9, 2011 / Daybreak - Dec 15, 2011
|'playing with legos' - Pratt Institute Architecture Essay
3 - December 25, 1999: the unofficial start to my career in architecture. I've seen the home movies from this day...
Undergraduatefonzie22 - Dec 15, 2011 / kadampoo - Dec 15, 2011
|"We will never compromise on your education"- Common App Essay
3 - This is missing some words: What is surprising, though, is that I live in a family where all my...
Undergraduatepothepanda3 - Dec 15, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2011
|'history is a perforce' - Cornell Essay
5 - I find myself applying the knowledge I've acquired in a classroom to the world and imagining the varying perspectives...
Undergraduatesaminab09 - Dec 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 15, 2011
|"Fervor and Fire" - Stanford Supplement essays
3 - My early mornings may be dreary, but every day ---Two words here.--- I am revived through their fervor and...
Undergraduatemrwwad - Dec 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 15, 2011
|'Persian-American' + 'The sneaker game' - Tufts is my dream school
4 - The brutality of New York City slaps you in the face, waking you up with its inflexible attitude ,...
Undergraduateadamneedshelp - Dec 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 15, 2011
|UofRochester "Ever Better"-I locked myself in a locker
4 - After vigorously pushing on the door, I thought the locker would be my tomb. I'd locked myself into...
Undergraduateubchiu - Dec 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 15, 2011
|"My Summer of 2010" - Common App Personal Essay
3 - Oh it's alright. What do you think about the essay's subject? I keep thinking it's not good enough as...
Undergraduatein0va3 - Dec 14, 2011 / in0va3 - Dec 15, 2011
|'studying math, physics and chemistry' -academic objectives for exchange student
3 - I have always enjoyed studying math , physics and chemistry, and I would like the opportunity to continue this...
Undergraduateahsan ali - Dec 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 15, 2011
|'the essence of the university' - Unique qualities of Northwestern
4 - Applying to Northwestern too! I think some of the qualities you list are a little generic. For example,...
Undergraduateamthom - Dec 13, 2011 / sparkyspark - Dec 15, 2011
|Forgiveness - issue of importance to you
Undergraduatesampharmd - Dec 15, 2011 / sampharmd - Dec 15, 2011
|"Enjoying what I do..." -- [STANFORD] What matters to you and why?
Undergraduatesparkyspark - Dec 15, 2011 / sparkyspark - Dec 15, 2011
|Run after the kite --common app essay
Undergraduateazulo - Dec 15, 2011 / azulo - Dec 15, 2011
|'career in Nursing' - reasons for choosing the specific health care career you
8 - plz some body help me correct this intro Dancing has given me passion and feelings that inspires me....
Undergraduatearnela123 - Dec 15, 2011 / skippy17 - Dec 15, 2011
|'China' - Describe the parts that add up to the sum of you" prompt
Undergraduatecaoyuxi - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|"What is Life?" - Supplement Essay
4 - your a great writer! i love this essay! that will deff catch their eye, you will stand out! nice...
Undergraduatebio1995 - Dec 10, 2011 / arnela123 - Dec 15, 2011
|'I connected myself to the space' - aerospace engineering, transfer common app
6 - Thank you kuldeepkr, It was mt first draft. I appreciate your work, I will try to revise and post...
Undergraduateardak - Dec 11, 2011 / ardak - Dec 15, 2011
|My experience of moving to England at the age of 7 and how it has shaped who I am
3 - Thanks for the feedback! I wasn't sure about that bit either; I genuinely am interested in manga and Japanese...
UndergraduateSmithsmithsmith - Dec 15, 2011 / Smithsmithsmith - Dec 15, 2011
|'Three days in the wilderness' - leaving comfort zone prompt
6 - Great writing. I would rework the first couple of sentences because they both are saying the same thing. I...
Undergraduatehs61 - Dec 15, 2011 / summer1 - Dec 15, 2011
|'The word: eclectic' - Ga tech 5000 word essay
2 - This is definitely a memorable essay. I love the first sentence of the first paragraph. It definitely made me...
UndergraduateScanta - Dec 15, 2011 / wintahtimee - Dec 15, 2011
|"My Sister" - Common App Essay
10 - Oh that was beautiful! Really moving :) One tiny correction: When she arrived it seemed like that would...
Undergraduatejackhags69 - Dec 10, 2011 / collegesearcher - Dec 15, 2011
|'Krakow, Poland + Computing and Engineering' - essay school homework
2 - In your first piece you have a lot of short simple sentences, maybe try combining them to be more...
Undergraduateakmenik - Dec 15, 2011 / hs61 - Dec 15, 2011
|'I have climbed up to the top of my mountain' - Stanford Supplement
Undergraduatehayoungyoun - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'a slow, agonizing deat' - My personal statement
NEW - Comfortable complacency has always seemed like a slow, agonizing death. I never want to become so stuck in the...
Undergraduatekayleighlevitt - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'passionate and dedicated teachers' - Bowdoin Supplement
NEW - My Response: For a student that is coming from a school system that is slowly but surely lowering...
Undergraduatecollegebound012 - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'a gratitude for science' - Cornell Supplement Essay
NEW - Hello, I am applying to Cornell as a biology major and I just wrote one of my supplementary essays....
Undergraduatehayoungyoun - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'human rights violation and child labor' - Lehigh: on equity and community
8 - The above example demonstrates human rights violation and child labor. Equity is defined as the quality of being fair...
Undergraduateveethic - Dec 12, 2011 / veethic - Dec 15, 2011
|"Why am I doing this?" - Essay About Risk-Taking With Two Stories
Undergraduatewintahtimee - Dec 14, 2011 / wintahtimee - Dec 15, 2011
|'such an aristocratic campus' - Yale essay
4 - I'm just giving you advice that everyone else gave me. Make it more personal. Everyone knows Yale is brilliant,...
UndergraduateJanus - Dec 14, 2011 / leviator - Dec 15, 2011
|'a vigorous and all-embracing environment' - Why Wellesley
NEW - Prompt: When choosing a college, you are choosing an intellectual community and a place where you believe that you...
Undergraduateemanon - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|UVA - Favorite word & work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature
6 - I like your writing style. I think both of them are very meaningful and written very eloquently. My one...
Undergraduateajliu84 - Dec 15, 2011 / mag8087 - Dec 15, 2011
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