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|'Becoming the person I am today' - Common App (topic of my own)
Undergraduatejayish - Dec 14, 2011 / jayish - Dec 14, 2011
|Statement of Purpose for MSc in Global Health Science from University of Oxford
7 - Thanks a lot for your valuable suggestions...I am working on it..will try to repost it as soon as poosible....
UndergraduateUrfi - Dec 11, 2011 / Urfi - Dec 14, 2011
|Why university of Chicago for Mongolian student?
3 - Oh tnx!!! It would be great that assessing my composition. It was my first draft, so I made so...
Undergraduatejonjojonjo - Dec 13, 2011 / jonjojonjo - Dec 14, 2011
|'Film as my major' - what influenced you to select your first choice major - Emerson
2 - This essay is actually quite good. As far as I'm aware of, there's not that much errors on this...
Undergraduatejerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011 / elenazafrul - Dec 14, 2011
|'I joined BBYO' - Rice- Unique Life Experiences and Perspective
4 - this is really good and organized all the way through! i like it! its really good and flows really...
Undergraduaterobertoa456 - Dec 13, 2011 / jerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011
|"Ground me." - University Of Virginia RD Supplement Essay
2 - Hey! I really love your essay! Your personality really shows through! Just a few little things: Plus, knowing...
UndergraduateAU0594 - Dec 13, 2011 / kerg945 - Dec 13, 2011
|'a tradition of helping people with cognitive disabilities' -U Wisconsin Statement #1
Undergraduatesjmiller1993 - Dec 10, 2011 / jerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011
|'my family bought a Japanese restaurant' - YOUR WORK EXPERIENCES
3 - Hey thanks for your help! so would you suggest me explaining a story like something "for example" and describe...
Undergraduatejerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011 / jerrytherock31 - Dec 13, 2011
|Motivation essay: How an AUBG education will broaden your global perspective?
2 - Hi, I can help you with a few things: The economic condition of my country is catastrophic, there...
Undergraduategusha - Dec 13, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 13, 2011
|'religious journey to Mecca, Saudi Arabia' - Common App Essay--Experience and Impact
Undergraduatesaminab09 - Dec 11, 2011 / saminab09 - Dec 13, 2011
|'the Hermitage High School String Quartet ' - University of Richmond --Comfort Zone
2 - I maybe wrong but I feel it's good. Well, my only tip would be:pretend you're the admissions officer and...
Undergraduateilovemax112105 - Dec 13, 2011 / Dii - Dec 13, 2011
|'God has given children to the world' - Community Service/Volunteer Work
Undergraduatekmarie21 - Dec 13, 2011 / Dii - Dec 13, 2011
|'Accounting is a practical course' Univerisity of Minnesota Essay
NEW - The question is: In English, describe your educational interests and goals and what your plans are for when you...
Undergraduatehcs32 - Dec 13, 2011 / — -
|Common app a topic of your choice - 'It's normal to die.'
2 - I am really sorry about your brother; I hope you find solace and secure admission to the college of...
UndergraduateSarahAlmousa - Dec 13, 2011 / collegesearcher - Dec 13, 2011
|'Sun, sand and sea' - Describe the world you come from - MIT Essay
Undergraduatechrono13 - Dec 13, 2011 / astua1 - Dec 13, 2011
|'Art changed and inspired me' - common app short answers
3 - thank you!...
Undergraduatejuliarose15 - Dec 12, 2011 / juliarose15 - Dec 13, 2011
|(my need and passion for writing) Emerson "personal memoirs"
Undergraduatesarahjane515 - Dec 1, 2011 / kayleighlevitt - Dec 13, 2011
|Common App - The catastrophic Japan Earthquake
Undergraduatebballkings15 - Nov 13, 2011 / hfdz7 - Dec 13, 2011
|The essays for a MIT fellowship in the field medical image processing
Undergraduatehuangch - Dec 9, 2011 / huangch - Dec 13, 2011
|'my religious affiliations' - University of Michigan Ann Arbour
3 - It's well written and conveying your tendency to church. In my opinion, there is no need to edit it...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 13, 2011 / jonjojonjo - Dec 13, 2011
|'the Wonderland my mother had tucked away' - Premed essay
UndergraduateManarN - Dec 11, 2011 / ManarN - Dec 13, 2011
|'sustainability and educating the next generation' - NYU supplement
3 - Cool! I'm also applying for NYU :) You have a well written and convincing essay. Keep up the good...
Undergraduatelewisgf - Dec 12, 2011 / Ninjarebelxxx - Dec 13, 2011
|(Martial Arts) Common Application: extracurricular activities
3 - Thanks for the feedback jfrancishutch! This was a draft that I wrote up really quickly. I am not very...
UndergraduateNinjarebelxxx - Dec 12, 2011 / Ninjarebelxxx - Dec 12, 2011
|"What? Are you crazy?" - Comm app essay (An important experience)
5 - Thank you so much rgudz26!! your suggestions really make me think a lot!! I will do more revision for...
Undergraduateubchiu - Nov 14, 2011 / ubchiu - Dec 12, 2011
|'Harvey Mudd will be the catalyst' - my experience with engineering
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 11, 2011 / AU0594 - Dec 12, 2011
|'they depended solely on God and prayed to Him daily' - Topic of Choice
2 - Remember whenever you say something and have quote around them, start a new paragraph right after. but I...
Undergraduatebookbug_xd - Dec 11, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 12, 2011
|'Parliamentary debate' - Bowdoin: Intellectual Engagement
2 - ...English Parliament; however, the room was decorated with colorful posters, and the audience (including me) was made up of...
Undergraduatenicolew - Dec 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 12, 2011
|UCF Essays- "Moving into a higher gear" and "Once a knight, always a knight"
NEW - Hey :) So here are my two UCF essays. The prompts I ansered are "How as your family, history,...
Undergraduateprahasi17 - Dec 12, 2011 / — -
|"Dehumanized" challenged me. UVA Supplement
8 - Great essay! I'm also applying to NYU this year! Your revision seems more concise and answers the question in...
Undergraduatetrishhha - Sep 26, 2011 / jfrancishutch - Dec 12, 2011
|'pretty campus pictures' - Duke supplement-why duke
5 - erm, you sure those were the exact words your teachers said? sounded unreal to me. your second paragraph is...
Undergraduatewafzy - Dec 10, 2011 / hahahohohe - Dec 12, 2011
|Soccer and players - short answer (for Common App)
Undergraduaterosemarimalu - Nov 24, 2011 / rosemarimalu - Dec 11, 2011
|'a fascination with people' - UC admission
5 - This is very unique and interesting. I think it is good. I agree with skelter about the intro...
UndergraduateElyGeoSav - Nov 24, 2011 / bballkings15 - Dec 11, 2011
|'Come. I want to show you a story - My Athena' - Common App Standard
6 - Beautiful, concise, and well thought-out. The syntax is fine, the grammar has been corrected by the moderator, and personally,...
Undergraduatetwilista - Dec 5, 2011 / bookbug_xd - Dec 11, 2011
|Trouble with OSU essay about a multidimensional solution to a convoluted solution.
Undergraduateslythr - Dec 11, 2011 / slythr - Dec 11, 2011
|Dicrimination with haircuts-rochester supplement
2 - Although you technically did answer what they asked you, don't forget about the beginning of the prompt! They state...
UndergraduateCR7 - Dec 11, 2011 / twilista - Dec 11, 2011
|'getting someone else to do whant you want' - LEADERSHIP ESSAY
Undergraduateelleburdyug - Dec 10, 2011 / nicolew - Dec 11, 2011
|"Help the homeless"- less fortunate people
3 - thank you...
Undergraduatejtown3 - Dec 10, 2011 / jtown3 - Dec 11, 2011
|Common App-The Encounters with Tax Injustice During My Business Registration
6 - Any more input anyone??? The deadline's very near and i would really appreciate ant advice...I could look over your...
Undergraduatelzhd1028 - Dec 9, 2011 / lzhd1028 - Dec 11, 2011
|'the school offers SERVE trips' - Supplement Essay
2 - " Not only is Lehigh University made up of people with different cultural backgrounds, but it is also made...
UndergraduateChatterbox7 - Dec 10, 2011 / Guest - Dec 11, 2011
|'My country, Kazakhstan' - Personal Statement for University of Wisconsin Madison
NEW - Hi I wrote the bellow essay for the UW-MAdison essays, and I would like to ask for some help...
UndergraduateprRnik - Dec 11, 2011 / — -
|'Majoring in business and being an athlete' - It's for Winconsin-Madison
3 - Statement 1: "Many people I know had told me that I excel in cycling despite never having the chance...
Undergraduatevettel - Dec 10, 2011 / Guest - Dec 11, 2011
|'making friends in the US' - Commonapp - activities or work experience
4 - hey i agree with admission2012. I think the prompt is asking you to elaborate on something that is more...
Undergraduatecaohoang10 - Dec 10, 2011 / Ravenclaw_roar - Dec 11, 2011
|'Raising my family' - Temple University-10 years from now essay
3 - You don't need this sentence, but if you want it, just do this: green=possible change red=revise I was...
UndergraduateDinoSawyer - Dec 9, 2011 / kenyaboyfresh - Dec 10, 2011
|Help with Cornell Human Ecology Supplement- Undecided
2 - Hello, Whenever a student is applying as an undecided candidate, they should always talk about the things that...
Undergraduatejillybean3194 - Dec 10, 2011 / admission2012 - Dec 10, 2011
|'my first name is not Tom' - CommonApp Essay-Sawyer
2 - I don't see any grammatical mistakes except for these careless ones: "I shake my head no every time,...
UndergraduateDinoSawyer - Dec 10, 2011 / Guest - Dec 10, 2011
|Soccer taught me confidence- Extracurricular
2 - I fell in love with soccer in Kenya whenever my mother's high school---You should replace "whenever" with " ever...
Undergraduatekenyaboyfresh - Dec 10, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 10, 2011
|Common App Essay - "The Phone Call That Changed My Life"
NEW - Option #1: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its...
UndergraduatePanipak - Dec 10, 2011 / — -
|'Ultimate Energy Creator' : If you could invent something what would it be and why?
2 - Your first sentence answers the prompt a bit TOO directly. Maybe you could try starting off in a little...
Undergraduateangaduday - Dec 10, 2011 / leviator - Dec 10, 2011
|'like any other Chinese-Indonesian' - information of interest
4 - Great job and really interesting I would suggest the same as Tobi maybe try rearranging your sentences to find...
Undergraduatedetrickillu - Dec 8, 2011 / hedieh - Dec 10, 2011
|A Jungle of thought - UVA supplement
3 - WOW... u really have a way with words...i had to re-read your wave of cardboard essay again just to...
Undergraduateaerielm - Dec 9, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 10, 2011
|Why a doctor - Med Program Application
Undergraduatehlathia - Nov 13, 2011 / Dii - Dec 10, 2011
|Common App Short Answer on Extemporaneous Speaking
2 - Curiosity for why humans---replace with "Curiosity as to how humans " Actually i don't find your essay "choppy"...
Undergraduatebluemoon680 - Dec 9, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 10, 2011
|'New York City was not for me' - BU Supplement Short Essay
2 - Really good essay...no grammar or style errors that i could notice...And the content is refreshingly new as well. The...
Undergraduateyurkler - Dec 10, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 10, 2011
|'losing one of the most important role model' - Common App: Significant Experience
3 - Thanks ChihiroLavi. yeah i feel it a little weak too. Im gonna make some changes in it. thanks :)...
UndergraduateSATRIOPUTRANTO - Dec 10, 2011 / SATRIOPUTRANTO - Dec 10, 2011
|'About Korean Culture' - Common App
4 - bluemoon680 and amer77, thanks so much for the editing/your opinion! i will take them into consideration. i'm about to...
Undergraduatealstjs94 - Dec 9, 2011 / alstjs94 - Dec 9, 2011
|'inside the Trinity Cafe' - Duke Arts and Sciences, Why Duke short essay
2 - Hey kelly...pretty unique and interesting essay you have got there...and don't worry about the paragraphs at all...The only corrections...
Undergraduatekellbell - Dec 9, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 9, 2011
|'I'm a hoarder' - Tufts consider the world within- knowledge
6 - Thank you all so much for your help! I actually totally agree with everything all of you said to...
Undergraduatekellbell - Dec 3, 2011 / kellbell - Dec 9, 2011
|'why he recommend this school' - Ohio State University essay
2 - Hi! I think this sentence is incorrect. I was curious about his recommendation, also I was not...
UndergraduateBazingaMa - Dec 9, 2011 / kerlik - Dec 9, 2011
|'my focus to Film and Television writing' - transfer essay for NYU and USC
3 - @admissions, Thank for your honest feedback, I appreciate it. I'm also concerned that my interests for the media...
Undergraduatedj02bothell - Dec 9, 2011 / dj02bothell - Dec 9, 2011
|My contribution for ten years Common app short essay
3 - Hi, Thank you so much for your comment. I will write about my activity. From grade1 to grade12,...
Undergraduateesuparusu - Dec 9, 2011 / esuparusu - Dec 9, 2011
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