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|'like to a bowl of soup' - What Perspective would you contribute
2 - I like your starting line. I suggest you should talk about family values. And how they have helped you....
UndergraduateDii - Dec 16, 2011 / sohaibsiddiqui - Dec 16, 2011
|'something new to uncover' - Film as my extracurricular activity
2 - Yes I think it needs a little more personalization like could be "The experience is so powerful...
UndergraduateSmithsmithsmith - Dec 16, 2011 / Dii - Dec 16, 2011
|'I'm capable not only of surviving in any environment' - UC Essay, topic 1
6 - I think that this is a good essay topic, but it feels abrupt. maybe you should talk about your...
Undergraduatewarcraft - Nov 13, 2011 / M22 - Dec 16, 2011
|'Dad as Influential Person' - Common App Essay
6 - Good essay! A few grammatical errors here and there, but content to me seems good: it's thought provoking and...
Undergraduatetpaine02 - Dec 9, 2011 / fredday - Dec 16, 2011
|My journey to changing the world - Common App
7 - Nice essay :) "I spent hours writing a very passionate email to my principal who, as it turns...
Undergraduateangelalp19 - Dec 15, 2011 / sanjain - Dec 16, 2011
|"Thank goodness!" - Very short Columbia university prompt
UndergraduateHSaifa - Dec 16, 2011 / Smithsmithsmith - Dec 16, 2011
|'Month of Ramadan is the holy month' - Extracurricular Essay - Hope
Undergraduatepothepanda3 - Dec 16, 2011 / namato - Dec 16, 2011
|Vassar Supplement Essay - My Hogwarts
2 - Hi there pothepanda3, Firstly, thank you for commenting on my Columbia essay :):) Your essay is wonderfully...
Undergraduatepothepanda3 - Dec 15, 2011 / namato - Dec 16, 2011
|'the seventeen-kilometer bicycle ride' - Penn Optional
UndergraduateGuest - Nov 30, 2011 / Guest - Dec 16, 2011
|'Seeing the World Through Sand' - Common App Short Extracurricular Essay
Undergraduatetwilista - Dec 11, 2011 / lee235717 - Dec 16, 2011
|'interdisciplinary nature of the curriculum' - Why the College Of Wooster?
Undergraduatedanigreenhouse - Dec 13, 2011 / danigreenhouse - Dec 16, 2011
|'I don't know.' - Common app for Princeton, Columbia, Harvey
7 - It might just be me, but I find 'decisions' to be repetitive in these lines. Perhaps you should...
Undergraduateleviator - Dec 9, 2011 / Daybreak - Dec 15, 2011
|'playing with legos' - Pratt Institute Architecture Essay
3 - December 25, 1999: the unofficial start to my career in architecture. I've seen the home movies from this day...
Undergraduatefonzie22 - Dec 15, 2011 / kadampoo - Dec 15, 2011
|"We will never compromise on your education"- Common App Essay
3 - This is missing some words: What is surprising, though, is that I live in a family where all my...
Undergraduatepothepanda3 - Dec 15, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2011
|'history is a perforce' - Cornell Essay
5 - I find myself applying the knowledge I've acquired in a classroom to the world and imagining the varying perspectives...
Undergraduatesaminab09 - Dec 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 15, 2011
|"Fervor and Fire" - Stanford Supplement essays
3 - My early mornings may be dreary, but every day ---Two words here.--- I am revived through their fervor and...
Undergraduatemrwwad - Dec 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 15, 2011
|'Persian-American' + 'The sneaker game' - Tufts is my dream school
4 - The brutality of New York City slaps you in the face, waking you up with its inflexible attitude ,...
Undergraduateadamneedshelp - Dec 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 15, 2011
|UofRochester "Ever Better"-I locked myself in a locker
4 - After vigorously pushing on the door, I thought the locker would be my tomb. I'd locked myself into...
Undergraduateubchiu - Dec 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 15, 2011
|"My Summer of 2010" - Common App Personal Essay
3 - Oh it's alright. What do you think about the essay's subject? I keep thinking it's not good enough as...
Undergraduatein0va3 - Dec 14, 2011 / in0va3 - Dec 15, 2011
|'studying math, physics and chemistry' -academic objectives for exchange student
3 - I have always enjoyed studying math , physics and chemistry, and I would like the opportunity to continue this...
Undergraduateahsan ali - Dec 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 15, 2011
|'the essence of the university' - Unique qualities of Northwestern
4 - Applying to Northwestern too! I think some of the qualities you list are a little generic. For example,...
Undergraduateamthom - Dec 13, 2011 / sparkyspark - Dec 15, 2011
|Forgiveness - issue of importance to you
Undergraduatesampharmd - Dec 15, 2011 / sampharmd - Dec 15, 2011
|"Enjoying what I do..." -- [STANFORD] What matters to you and why?
Undergraduatesparkyspark - Dec 15, 2011 / sparkyspark - Dec 15, 2011
|Run after the kite --common app essay
Undergraduateazulo - Dec 15, 2011 / azulo - Dec 15, 2011
|'career in Nursing' - reasons for choosing the specific health care career you
8 - plz some body help me correct this intro Dancing has given me passion and feelings that inspires me....
Undergraduatearnela123 - Dec 15, 2011 / skippy17 - Dec 15, 2011
|'China' - Describe the parts that add up to the sum of you" prompt
Undergraduatecaoyuxi - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|"What is Life?" - Supplement Essay
4 - your a great writer! i love this essay! that will deff catch their eye, you will stand out! nice...
Undergraduatebio1995 - Dec 10, 2011 / arnela123 - Dec 15, 2011
|'I connected myself to the space' - aerospace engineering, transfer common app
6 - Thank you kuldeepkr, It was mt first draft. I appreciate your work, I will try to revise and post...
Undergraduateardak - Dec 11, 2011 / ardak - Dec 15, 2011
|My experience of moving to England at the age of 7 and how it has shaped who I am
3 - Thanks for the feedback! I wasn't sure about that bit either; I genuinely am interested in manga and Japanese...
UndergraduateSmithsmithsmith - Dec 15, 2011 / Smithsmithsmith - Dec 15, 2011
|'Three days in the wilderness' - leaving comfort zone prompt
6 - Great writing. I would rework the first couple of sentences because they both are saying the same thing. I...
Undergraduatehs61 - Dec 15, 2011 / summer1 - Dec 15, 2011
|'The word: eclectic' - Ga tech 5000 word essay
2 - This is definitely a memorable essay. I love the first sentence of the first paragraph. It definitely made me...
UndergraduateScanta - Dec 15, 2011 / wintahtimee - Dec 15, 2011
|"My Sister" - Common App Essay
10 - Oh that was beautiful! Really moving :) One tiny correction: When she arrived it seemed like that would...
Undergraduatejackhags69 - Dec 10, 2011 / collegesearcher - Dec 15, 2011
|'Krakow, Poland + Computing and Engineering' - essay school homework
2 - In your first piece you have a lot of short simple sentences, maybe try combining them to be more...
Undergraduateakmenik - Dec 15, 2011 / hs61 - Dec 15, 2011
|'I have climbed up to the top of my mountain' - Stanford Supplement
Undergraduatehayoungyoun - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'a slow, agonizing deat' - My personal statement
NEW - Comfortable complacency has always seemed like a slow, agonizing death. I never want to become so stuck in the...
Undergraduatekayleighlevitt - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'passionate and dedicated teachers' - Bowdoin Supplement
NEW - My Response: For a student that is coming from a school system that is slowly but surely lowering...
Undergraduatecollegebound012 - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'a gratitude for science' - Cornell Supplement Essay
NEW - Hello, I am applying to Cornell as a biology major and I just wrote one of my supplementary essays....
Undergraduatehayoungyoun - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|'human rights violation and child labor' - Lehigh: on equity and community
8 - The above example demonstrates human rights violation and child labor. Equity is defined as the quality of being fair...
Undergraduateveethic - Dec 12, 2011 / veethic - Dec 15, 2011
|"Why am I doing this?" - Essay About Risk-Taking With Two Stories
Undergraduatewintahtimee - Dec 14, 2011 / wintahtimee - Dec 15, 2011
|'such an aristocratic campus' - Yale essay
4 - I'm just giving you advice that everyone else gave me. Make it more personal. Everyone knows Yale is brilliant,...
UndergraduateJanus - Dec 14, 2011 / leviator - Dec 15, 2011
|'a vigorous and all-embracing environment' - Why Wellesley
NEW - Prompt: When choosing a college, you are choosing an intellectual community and a place where you believe that you...
Undergraduateemanon - Dec 15, 2011 / — -
|UVA - Favorite word & work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature
6 - I like your writing style. I think both of them are very meaningful and written very eloquently. My one...
Undergraduateajliu84 - Dec 15, 2011 / mag8087 - Dec 15, 2011
|'create technology' - What attracts you to the field of Engineering? Columbia.
9 - Thank you all very much! Please be free to criticize, I really think there is scope for improvement :/...
Undergraduateleviator - Dec 9, 2011 / leviator - Dec 15, 2011
|'I have some engineering background' - Carnegie Mellon University Supplemental
4 - "If I do attend Carnegie Mellon University, I can become the engineer that I want to become." Carnegie Mellon...
Undergraduatepitt4life01 - Dec 13, 2011 / leviator - Dec 15, 2011
|'cleared to leave the hospital' - Common App
3 - The second paragraph is a complete jump to another paragraph. You need to somehow intertwine the two and work...
Undergraduatedynamo - Dec 14, 2011 / nippycan - Dec 15, 2011
|'cultivating informed civic action' - Bates Supplement for 2012 Enrollment
3 - To me this quote, demonstrates how Bates could enable me to demonstrate my excitement of learning.----It's not good to...
Undergraduateshoutheda - Dec 12, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2011
|"Finding Strength in Water" - UC Prompt
Undergraduatepshah - Nov 28, 2011 / josie94 - Dec 14, 2011
|'Being an avid band member' - Common App- Short Answer: Band
5 - Hi Dynamo, I have to remind you that the space characters are also counted, and hence you have...
Undergraduatedynamo - Nov 13, 2011 / hwei1994 - Dec 14, 2011
|patient who made a strong impact on me.
4 - ...and how to interact with them... (2nd Para)-Just sounds better this way ... with different kinds of patients...
Undergraduatearnela123 - Dec 14, 2011 / dynamo - Dec 14, 2011
|How to write an admissions essay about Who I Am?
Undergraduatejitzye34 - Dec 14, 2011 / Daybreak - Dec 14, 2011
|'Band Team Leader' - participation in extracurricular activities
2 - In doing so, I not only recycled clothing that would have otherwise gone to waste in the back of...
Undergraduateemanic - Dec 14, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 14, 2011
|'Mr. Villegas' - Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you...
UndergraduateDaybreak - Dec 14, 2011 / Dii - Dec 14, 2011
|'I lend a hand' - Why did you choose this field of study?
UndergraduateDii - Dec 14, 2011 / Dii - Dec 14, 2011
|FIRST ROBOTICS EFFECTS-Common App Short Response
2 - The robot glides forward, effortlessly sucks up a ball, and shoots. Such simple actions drew me into the...
UndergraduateDinoSawyer - Dec 13, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 14, 2011
|What motivated me to apply?Smalley and Bob Curl Rice University
UndergraduateDii - Dec 14, 2011 / Dii - Dec 14, 2011
|'technology advances so fast' - why Math, Science--Caltech Essay
3 - We live in a world were (where) technology advances so fast the only constant is change itself I have...
Undergraduateastua1 - Dec 13, 2011 / jackhags69 - Dec 14, 2011
|'investment manager/analyst/banker', 'like my brother' - answers to Syracuse U
3 - Thank you Jennifer. Really appreciate the advice and I will revise the answers and post again. Going to go...
Undergraduateamer77 - Dec 12, 2011 / amer77 - Dec 14, 2011
|'Ben' - Common Application Essay, person who has had a significant influence on you.
9 - I liked this essay. I kept reading (non stop). You created perfect imagery. Your one of the few people...
Undergraduatecollegecat - Dec 12, 2011 / Dii - Dec 14, 2011
|Any costume i like---Brandeis Supplement
7 - I really liked your essay. Maybe you could provide a little hint of your versatile personality in the first...
Undergraduatemaroon5 - Dec 10, 2011 / leviator - Dec 14, 2011
|Common App essay about philosophy and perspective
Undergraduateakrash - Dec 14, 2011 / leviator - Dec 14, 2011
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