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|'Intellectual Engagement is a beast' - Bowdoin
Undergraduatekaran11295 - Dec 7, 2011 / karan11295 - Dec 7, 2011
|Model UN - Common App Short Essay. Too common?
2 - i don't think the topic's too common, it's not like everybody is in the Model UN. i think you...
Undergraduatebarriertx - Dec 7, 2011 / Guest - Dec 7, 2011
|'my forte in sciences' - Diversity common app
UndergraduateJaineel406 - Dec 6, 2011 / AmethystLiang - Dec 7, 2011
|'health questions' - Rice Supplement Essay
3 - Hey Arianna! I don't know if you're response is below or above 200 words, but it looks like its...
UndergraduateAU0594 - Dec 6, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 7, 2011
|"Coming From Bushwick/Background Influences" Common App Personal Statement
2 - Good essay...However u do come off as someone who has a very negative outlook on life at whenever u...
Undergraduateant518 - Dec 4, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 7, 2011
|'the arts began when I learned how to paint' - Rutgers University
4 - It's good but a short anecdote that portrays the intro may be stronger and draw in the reader more....
Undergraduateecho5016 - Dec 4, 2011 / ninosage - Dec 7, 2011
|'majoring in computers or any other type of engineering'-How did you learn about NJIT
UndergraduateKevinho - Nov 28, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 7, 2011
|'as undeclared' - University of Illinois Transfer Essay
2 - hi mreese92. The purpose of many of these college essays, whether it would be for ungrad, grad, or transfer,...
Undergraduatemreese92 - Dec 6, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 6, 2011
|'Mixed Bag' - Why you consider OSU college?
2 - Growing up in a Hispanic family with a dissimilar cultural background than the rest of society, can sometimes give...
Undergraduateavao - Dec 5, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 6, 2011
|" life is full obstcacles" - Gap Year essay
6 - Life is unpredictable; it's hard to tell what the next moment will bring, but amid all of that uncertainty...
UndergraduateDMA17 - Nov 27, 2011 / DMA17 - Dec 6, 2011
|'As a Culture mixer.' - Essay
UndergraduateDonnyWang - Nov 29, 2011 / DonnyWang - Dec 6, 2011
|'If I were a biomedical engineer...' - Colorado Boulder Prompt #1
UndergraduateLivestrong1313 - Dec 1, 2011 / jessiedong - Dec 6, 2011
|'my father has been working in China' - someone who has made an impact on your life
3 - 1. I think its kinda risky telling the undergrad admissions that you prefer goal over family because you don't...
Undergraduatecorn0330 - Dec 5, 2011 / TopEffort - Dec 6, 2011
|Common app- "The Pseudo Note"
UndergraduateArturuos - Dec 5, 2011 / Arturuos - Dec 5, 2011
|issue of importance to you-problem with combining cultures
Undergraduateawesomemo - Dec 1, 2011 / awesomemo - Dec 5, 2011
|'heading for Egypt' + 'working at 7-Eleven' - significant risk
3 - The first one definitely sheds a lot more light about who you are, although I do think it needs...
Undergraduatesenioritis24 - Dec 5, 2011 / twilista - Dec 5, 2011
|'A Wave of Cardboard' - my college common app
6 - Your essay is amazing. I kinda move around a lot too, and you totally described exactly how I feel...
Undergraduateaerielm - Nov 15, 2011 / Guest - Dec 5, 2011
|"22 Paribagh" - University of Wisconsin
3 - Thank you, Susan, for detecting the errors as well as the praise. I was really worried about the essay...
Undergraduatekaif15 - Dec 3, 2011 / kaif15 - Dec 5, 2011
|'Mathematics has become an indispensable part of my life' -educational interstst
Undergraduatelenhhoxung - Dec 1, 2011 / lenhhoxung - Dec 5, 2011
|'leading the research-based learning(RBL)' - Georgia Tech an extracurricular activity
2 - Among all the activities I have participated in, leading the research-based learning(RBL) group in high school was the most...
Undergraduatelittlebutterfly - Dec 1, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 5, 2011
|"Miss Empire State" - Macaulay Honors
2 - "Miss Empire State" is what my banner read, as I walked around the lobby of the Hilton Hotel at...
Undergraduateclayruh - Dec 1, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 5, 2011
|'the photograph club' - My S.O.P.
Undergraduatemgg18 - Dec 3, 2011 / mgg18 - Dec 5, 2011
|'ready to take back my challenge' - Harvey Mudd Supplement
2 - Very good story. The way you presented it seemed as if you already had the scientific aptitude. The only...
Undergraduatemindofadrone - Dec 4, 2011 / Arturuos - Dec 4, 2011
|'Rebuilding the team' - Common app - Personal
2 - I liked reading your essay, but instead of mentioning things like "I did this, I'm going to do this,...
Undergraduateninosage - Dec 4, 2011 / TopEffort - Dec 4, 2011
|'The Visit That Changed It All' - Why GWU
2 - Good essay, I think that you used examples of "interested" too many times in the sense where you are...
Undergraduatehlathia - Nov 30, 2011 / bradyshair25 - Dec 4, 2011
|'my mom is the most influential figure' - common application
Undergraduatessc8701 - Nov 18, 2011 / ninosage - Dec 4, 2011
|The "Geek" - Common app Short -Computer Programming
3 - Hi tehfunkicookie. Thank you for the response! I think you're right. The essay is about my job as a...
Undergraduateninosage - Dec 4, 2011 / ninosage - Dec 4, 2011
|'the annual Popular Book Fest' - extracurricular activities or work experience
Undergraduatehappykid93 - Dec 3, 2011 / happykid93 - Dec 4, 2011
|'I first left Dominican Republic' - Rutgers Essay
2 - I was 9 when I first left Dominican Republic, the colorful and vibrant country that I once called my...
Undergraduatedtaveras - Nov 30, 2011 / s0681217 - Dec 4, 2011
|'A volunteer in the Falsecreek Community Center' - University of BC supplemental
5 - follow the question. I think you messed up the sequence. put the 'caring for grandparents' part at the end....
Undergraduatejasonqw1 - Dec 1, 2011 / jasonty9 - Dec 4, 2011
|'Hip-hop' - Common App: Topic of your Choice
3 - Thanks a lot for the input! I tried to input my personality in there by describing what I say...
Undergraduatebookbug_xd - Dec 4, 2011 / bookbug_xd - Dec 4, 2011
|UVA Supplement "Mmm, Mmm good!"
Undergraduateaerielm - Nov 25, 2011 / Prettywings - Dec 4, 2011
|"you're like the whitest black guy I know" - Apply Texas Topic B
3 - You should most definitely keep talking about yourself and your perception rather than start talking about some black leader....I...
Undergraduatereggaedomi - Dec 1, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 4, 2011
|'My musical career' - Commonapp
3 - WOW...you have created a really moving, heart-felt piece...i couldn't help sympathize with you as i read it...really well done...
Undergraduateyouaresokrunk - Dec 3, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 4, 2011
|'there must be deeper truths' - Harvey Mudd Engineering
2 - i really enjoyed reading your essay...it's clear that your experience with the bridge left a deep impression upon u...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 3, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 4, 2011
|'Facebook - What kind of person had I turned into?' - Common App Personal
6 - Do not say you are spending your time on facebook, it is negative. I agree with Roshan4, write more...
Undergraduateaerielm - Dec 3, 2011 / blyj94 - Dec 4, 2011
|'I wanted to navigate the seas of freedom' - significant experience essay
2 - Hey, Your essay is pretty focused, first from your art class ruminations to its connection with your father...
Undergraduateccg123 - Dec 4, 2011 / hahahohohe - Dec 4, 2011
|'Not only cool Facebook-status' - FIT Application, Fashion Merchandising Management
2 - Try rephrasing some of ur sentences by combining them Firstly , that I have, just like this little...
UndergraduateGrebestam - Nov 29, 2011 / waldo01 - Dec 4, 2011
|"It was finally Saturday!" - Common App, significant challenge
UndergraduateTheChessDragon - Dec 1, 2011 / TheChessDragon - Dec 3, 2011
|"A page from my diary - November 2062" - Jacobs University(Germany) Suppl. Essay
14 - Hey great job on the essay! It really flows smoothly from para to para. You are a great writer....
UndergraduateItsokaytoGaga - Nov 24, 2011 / happykid93 - Dec 3, 2011
|common app essay "The homeless man" Issue of local,international concern.
Undergraduatehappykid93 - Dec 3, 2011 / happykid93 - Dec 3, 2011
|Common App- How Sherlock Holmes has Influenced Me
6 - Hey I think that Sherlock Holmes is a really interesting choice...It is quite unique. I agree with one of...
Undergraduateravenclaw - Dec 3, 2011 / happykid93 - Dec 3, 2011
|'Mrs. Carse is a wonderful mentor' who has made an impact on your life
Undergraduatecandicem2012 - Nov 30, 2011 / kkelsey82 - Dec 3, 2011
|'first year in high school' + 'trips to Peru' - UCF statements
Undergraduatejennipur - Nov 27, 2011 / kkelsey82 - Dec 3, 2011
|'Engineering will change my life' - NJIT Essay.
3 - PLEASE i need revising and suggestions asap!:( Heres a new revised essay from the previous one.. i need suggestions...
UndergraduateBikerboy9876 - Nov 30, 2011 / Bikerboy9876 - Dec 3, 2011
|'to portray my life' or 'wierd one' or 'about a chat' - common app
13 - I think 2 will be amazing if you write it well. It seems really unique. And humour is always...
Undergraduatemaroon5 - Nov 26, 2011 / happykid93 - Dec 3, 2011
|"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny" - commonapp essay
4 - Thank you both for your feedback. I'm working on this essay right now. I don't want the admissions people...
Undergraduatehelpthischick - Dec 2, 2011 / helpthischick - Dec 3, 2011
|'Selected as the top Journal of Hospitality & Tourism Education' - why Perdue
NEW - I haven't finished my essay. But DESPERATELY need some feed back and help. My major is Hospitality, by the...
Undergraduategirls89128 - Dec 3, 2011 / — -
|"The Nation's Party" - application volunteering
Undergraduatesudanese77 - Dec 1, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 3, 2011
|Brown RD Essay- Wisdom through Humility
3 - Okay, while i strongly disagree with your perspective on things, i do admire your style of writing and ability...
UndergraduateAU0594 - Dec 2, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 3, 2011
|'I love throwing' - Stanford Supplement Roommate Question
6 - Throwing offers me some sanity back into my life----get rid of the "me" I know what the other...
Undergraduatelisa6394 - Nov 1, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 3, 2011
|'A Universal Language' - Georgetown Short Essay on significance of school activity
3 - I like the extended metaphor. Very creative (: But maybe more emphasis on why it is important to you?...
Undergraduatenapt11 - Dec 1, 2011 / Vic9871 - Dec 3, 2011
|"Science at the Heart" - mad scientist admissions
2 - This line could be either helpful to your essay or have the completely opposite effect. It's an interesting...
Undergraduatecally242 - Dec 2, 2011 / ItsokaytoGaga - Dec 2, 2011
|"Do you like America or China?" - My life in a foreign country - UC prompt
4 - I think your story is an interesting one, overall your message is quite clear and strong. I corrected some...
Undergraduatebibrinko - Nov 24, 2011 / ckm120 - Dec 2, 2011
|'My transient living situation' - UC 1
2 - Your introduction definitely grabs the reader's attention and compels him or her to continue reading. I would have liked...
Undergraduateshutterbutter92 - Nov 30, 2011 / Prettywings - Dec 2, 2011
|'world-renown scholars for the biology program' - UIUC transfer
3 - Thanks for the revisions Ankita. I am thinking that my essay is a little bit too technical, and i...
Undergraduatejyi - Dec 2, 2011 / jyi - Dec 2, 2011
|'helping people has always been my passion' - UC
Undergraduatenbdh21 - Nov 28, 2011 / collin2 - Dec 2, 2011
|'memories of my father in my life' - UCF personal experiences
2 - I like the whole essay. It is moved and intriguing. But the transition into the final paragraph is weak....
Undergraduatechamp4sho - Dec 1, 2011 / littlebutterfly - Dec 1, 2011
|"Creative, communicative multi-faceted engineers" - USC Viterbi Supplemental Essay
2 - I think the beginning comes out weak, mainly because I, myself, know many cool, fit, perfectly healthy computer scientists,...
Undergraduatemikfig - Dec 1, 2011 / morecelery - Dec 1, 2011
|Rollover car accident which prevented me from starting school on time
Undergraduatemegcasey - Dec 1, 2011 / megcasey - Dec 1, 2011
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