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|My blackness. Common Application Essay: Problem you'd like to solve - limiting circumstances
4 - Breonna, rather than making a socio-political statement in this essay, you should be focusing your story on the possible...
Undergraduatebosuegbu - Dec 22, 2016 / Holt - Dec 23, 2016
|Rampant cheating; everyone reaped what they sowed. Caltech ethical dilemma Essay
3 - Yamen, the reason that this essay is underwhelming when you read it is because you decided not to do...
UndergraduateBobRoss - Dec 22, 2016 / Holt - Dec 23, 2016
|Etcetera: the most mysterious word in the English language.
Undergraduatembyram - Dec 22, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
|How being Asian American has made me who I am
2 - Wang, what are we talking about here? Are you responding to a college application prompt? Or is this an...
Undergraduateth3_wang - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
|CHANGE AMERICA SCHOLARSHIP - FILM and Television major
3 - I agree with Holt. You should stick to one specific cause that is very meaningful to you and talk...
UndergraduateiSasha - Dec 21, 2016 / mubdis99 - Dec 22, 2016
|Common App Essay: My experience as a Volunteer EMT
4 - Neena, cut this paragraph. Make it end at the point where you discuss Biomedical Engineering. That offers the most...
UndergraduateNEENA1234 - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
|UIUC-Transfer Essay- Talk about your motivation and how will the university help fulfill your goals
4 - Johnny, do not talk about the cost of education as you have in your last paragraph. That is irrelevant...
UndergraduateJo1nnyJiang - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 22, 2016
|My overwhelming passion for bead making
UndergraduateOkoye ijeoma - Dec 21, 2016 / Okoye ijeoma - Dec 21, 2016
|My role as the first child of my family
3 - @Holt Thank you very much for your advice and expert perusal, I sincerely appreciate it. To be very honest,...
UndergraduateOsiremiza99 - Dec 21, 2016 / Osiremiza99 - Dec 21, 2016
|BEING CURIOUS EVEN MORE. I am requesting help on my common app personal statement
Undergraduateaimuhire - Dec 21, 2016 / aimuhire - Dec 21, 2016
|Raising questions about the workings of the cosmos
5 - That might help. I can't be sure at the moment because I do not know what additional information you...
Undergraduatesaluranjha - Dec 21, 2016 / Holt - Dec 21, 2016
|Our effort makes our future. Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?
2 - Aida, there is nothing in your response that proves your excellence or ability to succeed as a UGrad program...
Undergraduateaidamt - Dec 21, 2016 / Holt - Dec 21, 2016
|"Veracity may count against you in this sophisticated society." Bryn Mawr College Supplement Essay.
3 - @saluranjha Thank you! I will have a look at your essay. Thank you @Bolt. I will surely take in...
Undergraduatephuonguyenvt - Dec 21, 2016 / phuonguyenvt - Dec 21, 2016
|What qualities that I possess could possibly add value to your community? To be honest, I don't know
10 - The majority of your essay deals with how you did not accomplish anything because you were afraid of challenge....
UndergraduateDeadspawn11 - Dec 20, 2016 / realtalk - Dec 21, 2016
|'I am determined to invent invulnerable systems' - Engineering College Supplemental Essay. (650)
5 - @Holt I made the following change for clarification of my "Merging Nanoscience with CyberSecurity" purpose. Moreover, the infrastructures...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Dec 20, 2016 / nandasharma - Dec 21, 2016
|The UGA faculty has determined that the student body should demonstrate the qualities listed in the
UndergraduateThe_iKick - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 21, 2016
|Review on the "Saving Private Ryan" Spielberg movie
4 - @dmitrology Hi Dmitri, I agree with Holt that you should add more about your personal experiences into the essay....
Undergraduatedmitrology - Dec 20, 2016 / xuesun - Dec 21, 2016
|A brand new step for a giant stride - my first time abroad
3 - @Holt Hi, I really appreciate your review and thank you for your advice. So, here I already revised...
UndergraduateDreamchaser - Dec 19, 2016 / Dreamchaser - Dec 20, 2016
|Reason of becoming a Hokie - I love everything about it. Application essay for Virginia Tech
3 - Krishna, let's get something straight here. You cannot make vague pronouncements such as "award winning faculty" in an essay...
UndergraduateKrishKoirala - Dec 20, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|A positive change in Dominicana. Summer Health Professions Education Program Diversity Essay
3 - Brayan, your narrative touches the heart but does not allow you to respond to the prompt in an accurate...
Undergraduatebrayan1996 - Dec 20, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|The simple (maybe the silly ;) things in life make me happy
4 - Mualla, remove the reference to the Turkish TV character. If the reviewer is not familiar with him or the...
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 20, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|DUKE - Why? If I became a Blue Devil... My love for photojournalism
3 - Katie, what the prompt is asking you to do is present some common factors that exist between you and...
UndergraduatePizza - Dec 20, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|Personal Statement--My childhood dream...was a luxury to me
6 - @martinmengqian I am determined to learn how~ also, your accomplishment in the last paragraph could seem a little...
Undergraduatemartinmengqian - Dec 19, 2016 / realtalk - Dec 20, 2016
|Boston College Supplemental Essay- Physics is a part of me!
Undergraduatendushaj - Dec 17, 2016 / realtalk - Dec 20, 2016
|I want to become Boilermaker / the "Ger" district in Mongolia. WHY PURDUE?
3 - Bat, I will only be responding to the first statement that you wrote for reasons that Jessica already previously...
Undergraduatebmb_orgil - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|I love making smoothies; they make me happy-Supplements for Yale and Tufts
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 2, 2016 / mualla - Dec 20, 2016
|Describe how you plan to pursue your academic interests at USC.
3 - @zumbastrol Hi! Thanks for your help! But there are actually something that I would like to clarify. Sorry I...
UndergraduateJessica Xie - Dec 19, 2016 / Jessica Xie - Dec 19, 2016
|I dream of becoming an innovator in aerospace exploration. Syracuse supplement
4 - @cssaasy Hi!! I think your second part is really good, as it illustrates well how it can help...
Undergraduatecssaasy - Dec 19, 2016 / Jessica Xie - Dec 19, 2016
|I want to invent new gadgets and software, be a problem solver, and make peoples' life easier
9 - Well, you don't really need to mention the name of your computer teacher. A simple reference to the teacher...
UndergraduateCyanogenVivax - Dec 18, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|Just keep swimming - UVA prompt - a quote that inspires you and can inspire others
5 - Greetings, I happen to be reading your essay and just want to give some quick advice. 1. Reveal...
Undergraduateaes1999 - Dec 19, 2016 / Jo1nnyJiang - Dec 19, 2016
|"Let your life speak." Prompt 1 - Learning through engagement
9 - Mualla, don't change the language of your essay. Keep your original voice in the way that you wrote it....
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 15, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|"My battle with a derivative dragon" - UVA prompt
3 - Aubrey, before we get to the numerous grammatical problems of your essay, I want to know something first. Is...
Undergraduateaes1999 - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|Determination to doing things we love, even though suffering a pain - Describe a problem prompt
3 - Shelby, there is only one point of correction required in your essay. That pertains to the definition of determination....
Undergraduatesvt2016 - Dec 18, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|UNC Essay- If you could change one thing about where you live, what would it be? 250 word limit
3 - Evan, you did not respond to the prompt correctly. The prompt is asking you to reflect upon the community...
Undergraduateemcdivitt - Dec 18, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|Searching for an university that would complement and complete my personality: precise but sharp
13 - As per forum rules, you have to post a new thread for every new essay that you want reviewed....
Undergraduatecssaasy - Dec 10, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|Essay about New Years Resolution- three main goals for the near future
4 - This essay is really good, however I would stray away from using the first person so often as it...
UndergraduateZL3909 - Dec 17, 2016 / aes1999 - Dec 19, 2016
|Describe a relationship you have with someone different from you
2 - Leila, is the topic of your essay "Describe a RELATIONSHIP you have with someone DIFFERENT from YOU" Personally...
Undergraduatelsouleymanou17 - Dec 18, 2016 / Modewap - Dec 18, 2016
|Why Rice_This was when I first learnt about Rice, as I watched the YouTube video of Joe Wong
6 - Martin, if you really want to include Houston in the essay then you will have to do some research...
Undergraduatemartinmengqian - Dec 7, 2016 / Holt - Dec 18, 2016
|My unusual family experience. Something fundamental to comprehend me.
UndergraduateJessica Xie - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 18, 2016
|Taking Down the School Website - Caltech Supplemental Essay - Ethics and Honor System
6 - Kat, it is important that you show the reviewer that you have integrity and honor in this essay. While...
Undergraduatepyrito - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 18, 2016
|Until 10th grade in school, we had Social Studies classes where we learnt about the history
NEW - Y is dedicated to empowering students to put new ideas into action and explore new horizons. Please tell us...
Undergraduatestressed12 - Dec 17, 2016 / — -
|Discovering new secrets of NATURE AND WILDLIFE. Statement of Purpose - New York University
2 - Aman, the first question that your statement of purpose should answer is "Why Biology?" Since you are writing this...
Undergraduateamanrcb - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|Explain a social issue with solution, tell what you need to learn to contribute towards its solution
2 - Darshan, don't focus on the unsolvable by taking on a world wide notion of eradicating poverty. Since you will...
UndergraduateDarshankumar - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|What do you and LeHigh have in common?
2 - Darshan, there are no real commonalities for you to speak of in this essay. In fact, the information that...
UndergraduateDarshankumar - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|College Supplemental Writing: 'What is your dream ?' (250 words)
6 - @Holt Here is the new version of my essay. I am Wikipedia in flesh- always pondering over exclusive...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Dec 17, 2016 / nandasharma - Dec 17, 2016
|This is my dream. It will become my reality soon.
4 - Your response to "What is your dream?" is much better when compared to your previous essay. The only problem...
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 16, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|Something you do for pleasure of it MIT-dancing
Undergraduatelorna - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|MIT Supplemental Writing: Something you do for the pleasure of a busy life.
2 - Nanda, since you are being asked to provide an explanation of your activity within 100 words or less, I...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|Transition from Childhood: Mom and first generation college student
3 - Rajeeb, you need to find a more focused way of telling your transition story. You need to pick out...
UndergraduateTechRinser - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|Stanford Intellectual vitality- Watching teletubbies
3 - @lorna I completely agree with @Holt You are completely going out of your way since there is no significant...
Undergraduatelorna - Dec 16, 2016 / nandasharma - Dec 17, 2016
|Essay for Undergraduate Admission Application: "A Break Up to Remember"
6 - Admission Essays are supposed to show who you are. You are just describing the event and girlfriend here. What...
Undergraduatejames170499 - Dec 13, 2016 / TechRinser - Dec 17, 2016
|I had to overcome my greatest fear. I blacked out in front of forty-six delegates. MIT SUPPLEMENTAL
Undergraduatelorna - Dec 16, 2016 / Sneedae - Dec 16, 2016
|"How cupcakes helped me grow" - UVA prompt
UndergraduateSneedae - Dec 16, 2016 / mualla - Dec 16, 2016
|Some thoughts about flying kites, Bradeis essay
UndergraduateJessica Xie - Dec 16, 2016 / Holt - Dec 16, 2016
|Challenging English - Learning this language became my goal
9 - after cracking Vidyagyan Entrance test, English alphabets sounds a bit awkward, just use Alphabet instead when a...
Undergraduateabdon786 - Dec 14, 2016 / lorna - Dec 16, 2016
|LOR - recommendation for the course in Economics majors in the University.
2 - Prasoon, thank you for starting the new thread for your essay. I assure you that this will be the...
Undergraduatemishra - Dec 16, 2016 / Holt - Dec 16, 2016
|From a kid to an adolescent who surmounted the backbreaking real life crisis.
2 - Vlad, this is a pretty good response to the prompt that you have written. I have a question though,...
Undergraduatevladmir - Dec 16, 2016 / Holt - Dec 16, 2016
|Tufts supplemental essay on collective participation; 'Constantly stepping out of comfort zones'
Undergraduatengokhoa99 - Dec 16, 2016 / ngokhoa99 - Dec 16, 2016
|Archery develops me both morally and spiritually; Common app - Extra curriculars
3 - Cherub, please provide the complete prompt for the extra curricular activity so that your essay can be properly assessed...
Undergraduategundala1 - Dec 30, 2012 / Holt - Dec 16, 2016
|Education a distant dream for girl child
6 - @Holt thanks for suggestion but I want to get some good starting for my Essay please share if you...
Undergraduatemishra - Dec 14, 2016 / mishra - Dec 15, 2016
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