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|I want to become Boilermaker / the "Ger" district in Mongolia. WHY PURDUE?
3 - Bat, I will only be responding to the first statement that you wrote for reasons that Jessica already previously...
Undergraduatebmb_orgil - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 20, 2016
|I love making smoothies; they make me happy-Supplements for Yale and Tufts
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 2, 2016 / mualla - Dec 20, 2016
|Describe how you plan to pursue your academic interests at USC.
3 - @zumbastrol Hi! Thanks for your help! But there are actually something that I would like to clarify. Sorry I...
UndergraduateJessica Xie - Dec 19, 2016 / Jessica Xie - Dec 19, 2016
|I dream of becoming an innovator in aerospace exploration. Syracuse supplement
4 - @cssaasy Hi!! I think your second part is really good, as it illustrates well how it can help...
Undergraduatecssaasy - Dec 19, 2016 / Jessica Xie - Dec 19, 2016
|I want to invent new gadgets and software, be a problem solver, and make peoples' life easier
9 - Well, you don't really need to mention the name of your computer teacher. A simple reference to the teacher...
UndergraduateCyanogenVivax - Dec 18, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|Just keep swimming - UVA prompt - a quote that inspires you and can inspire others
5 - Greetings, I happen to be reading your essay and just want to give some quick advice. 1. Reveal...
Undergraduateaes1999 - Dec 19, 2016 / Jo1nnyJiang - Dec 19, 2016
|"Let your life speak." Prompt 1 - Learning through engagement
9 - Mualla, don't change the language of your essay. Keep your original voice in the way that you wrote it....
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 15, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|"My battle with a derivative dragon" - UVA prompt
3 - Aubrey, before we get to the numerous grammatical problems of your essay, I want to know something first. Is...
Undergraduateaes1999 - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|Determination to doing things we love, even though suffering a pain - Describe a problem prompt
3 - Shelby, there is only one point of correction required in your essay. That pertains to the definition of determination....
Undergraduatesvt2016 - Dec 18, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|UNC Essay- If you could change one thing about where you live, what would it be? 250 word limit
3 - Evan, you did not respond to the prompt correctly. The prompt is asking you to reflect upon the community...
Undergraduateemcdivitt - Dec 18, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|Searching for an university that would complement and complete my personality: precise but sharp
13 - As per forum rules, you have to post a new thread for every new essay that you want reviewed....
Undergraduatecssaasy - Dec 10, 2016 / Holt - Dec 19, 2016
|Essay about New Years Resolution- three main goals for the near future
4 - This essay is really good, however I would stray away from using the first person so often as it...
UndergraduateZL3909 - Dec 17, 2016 / aes1999 - Dec 19, 2016
|Describe a relationship you have with someone different from you
2 - Leila, is the topic of your essay "Describe a RELATIONSHIP you have with someone DIFFERENT from YOU" Personally...
Undergraduatelsouleymanou17 - Dec 18, 2016 / Modewap - Dec 18, 2016
|Why Rice_This was when I first learnt about Rice, as I watched the YouTube video of Joe Wong
6 - Martin, if you really want to include Houston in the essay then you will have to do some research...
Undergraduatemartinmengqian - Dec 7, 2016 / Holt - Dec 18, 2016
|My unusual family experience. Something fundamental to comprehend me.
UndergraduateJessica Xie - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 18, 2016
|Taking Down the School Website - Caltech Supplemental Essay - Ethics and Honor System
6 - Kat, it is important that you show the reviewer that you have integrity and honor in this essay. While...
Undergraduatepyrito - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 18, 2016
|Until 10th grade in school, we had Social Studies classes where we learnt about the history
NEW - Y is dedicated to empowering students to put new ideas into action and explore new horizons. Please tell us...
Undergraduatestressed12 - Dec 17, 2016 / — -
|Discovering new secrets of NATURE AND WILDLIFE. Statement of Purpose - New York University
2 - Aman, the first question that your statement of purpose should answer is "Why Biology?" Since you are writing this...
Undergraduateamanrcb - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|Explain a social issue with solution, tell what you need to learn to contribute towards its solution
2 - Darshan, don't focus on the unsolvable by taking on a world wide notion of eradicating poverty. Since you will...
UndergraduateDarshankumar - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|What do you and LeHigh have in common?
2 - Darshan, there are no real commonalities for you to speak of in this essay. In fact, the information that...
UndergraduateDarshankumar - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|College Supplemental Writing: 'What is your dream ?' (250 words)
6 - @Holt Here is the new version of my essay. I am Wikipedia in flesh- always pondering over exclusive...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Dec 17, 2016 / nandasharma - Dec 17, 2016
|This is my dream. It will become my reality soon.
4 - Your response to "What is your dream?" is much better when compared to your previous essay. The only problem...
Undergraduatemualla - Dec 16, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|Something you do for pleasure of it MIT-dancing
Undergraduatelorna - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|MIT Supplemental Writing: Something you do for the pleasure of a busy life.
2 - Nanda, since you are being asked to provide an explanation of your activity within 100 words or less, I...
Undergraduatenandasharma - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|Transition from Childhood: Mom and first generation college student
3 - Rajeeb, you need to find a more focused way of telling your transition story. You need to pick out...
UndergraduateTechRinser - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
|Stanford Intellectual vitality- Watching teletubbies
3 - @lorna I completely agree with @Holt You are completely going out of your way since there is no significant...
Undergraduatelorna - Dec 16, 2016 / nandasharma - Dec 17, 2016
|Essay for Undergraduate Admission Application: "A Break Up to Remember"
6 - Admission Essays are supposed to show who you are. You are just describing the event and girlfriend here. What...
Undergraduatejames170499 - Dec 13, 2016 / TechRinser - Dec 17, 2016
|I had to overcome my greatest fear. I blacked out in front of forty-six delegates. MIT SUPPLEMENTAL
Undergraduatelorna - Dec 16, 2016 / Sneedae - Dec 16, 2016
|"How cupcakes helped me grow" - UVA prompt
UndergraduateSneedae - Dec 16, 2016 / mualla - Dec 16, 2016
|Some thoughts about flying kites, Bradeis essay
UndergraduateJessica Xie - Dec 16, 2016 / Holt - Dec 16, 2016
|Challenging English - Learning this language became my goal
9 - after cracking Vidyagyan Entrance test, English alphabets sounds a bit awkward, just use Alphabet instead when a...
Undergraduateabdon786 - Dec 14, 2016 / lorna - Dec 16, 2016
|LOR - recommendation for the course in Economics majors in the University.
2 - Prasoon, thank you for starting the new thread for your essay. I assure you that this will be the...
Undergraduatemishra - Dec 16, 2016 / Holt - Dec 16, 2016
|From a kid to an adolescent who surmounted the backbreaking real life crisis.
2 - Vlad, this is a pretty good response to the prompt that you have written. I have a question though,...
Undergraduatevladmir - Dec 16, 2016 / Holt - Dec 16, 2016
|Tufts supplemental essay on collective participation; 'Constantly stepping out of comfort zones'
Undergraduatengokhoa99 - Dec 16, 2016 / ngokhoa99 - Dec 16, 2016
|Archery develops me both morally and spiritually; Common app - Extra curriculars
3 - Cherub, please provide the complete prompt for the extra curricular activity so that your essay can be properly assessed...
Undergraduategundala1 - Dec 30, 2012 / Holt - Dec 16, 2016
|Education a distant dream for girl child
6 - @Holt thanks for suggestion but I want to get some good starting for my Essay please share if you...
Undergraduatemishra - Dec 14, 2016 / mishra - Dec 15, 2016
|Cornell CAS essay - seemingly-divergent TV shows and interdepartmental learning
8 - Angeli, always opt to write the straightforward essay whenever you have the chance. You see, the major mistake of...
Undergraduateangeli6778 - Dec 10, 2016 / Holt - Dec 15, 2016
|Northwestern's global presence and its inner niches... What aspects of Northwestern appeal most to m
Undergraduateangeli6778 - Dec 14, 2016 / angeli6778 - Dec 15, 2016
|"I could have been the member of the same lot..." Personal Essay
6 - ... "They are not educated and are unaware of their right... ... and the addiction which trapped their life...
Undergraduateabdon786 - Dec 14, 2016 / Jeremy Newcastl - Dec 15, 2016
|As an international student at ABC, how would you enrich the campus community? (250 words)
Undergraduatesus_007 - Dec 15, 2016 / Holt - Dec 15, 2016
|'One In A Million' Northwestern Supplement : unique qualities of Northwestern...?
2 - Nafisa, your response sounds more like a travelogue than a well thought analysis of why you chose to apply...
Undergraduatecitylights - Jan 4, 2014 / Holt - Dec 15, 2016
|Invictus- How 14 Words Changed Me (UVa supplement)
3 - Maddi, the essay's first half can use more of the backstory regarding your character before you read those 14...
Undergraduatemaddi - Jan 1, 2014 / Holt - Dec 15, 2016
|Embarrassing situation in the Exam Hall because of fear. 'A lesson from failure' essay
12 - You can start by telling about the preparations you made on exam day. You don't need to talk about...
Undergraduatevghimanshu2 - Dec 14, 2016 / Holt - Dec 15, 2016
|Computers are ever-changing. I want to develop software that can make people's life easier.
7 - I agree with @sus_007 I also have a same essay about computer. There are lots kinds of computer...
Undergraduatevghimanshu2 - Dec 14, 2016 / Hoaidepchi - Dec 14, 2016
|I want to pursue Mathematics. The reasons for my inclination are many more than what I can express..
3 - @abdon786 Hi there, I think you should consider these things -The reasons for my interest and inclination are many...
Undergraduateabdon786 - Dec 14, 2016 / Hoaidepchi - Dec 14, 2016
|From a plagiarized song to the song of the year - from a failure to the success
3 - Rohit, the essay asks about your failure so the slant of your presentation is wrong. The failure presented in...
Undergraduaterohittiwari - Dec 14, 2016 / Holt - Dec 14, 2016
|Describing an Activity for University Admissions - Opinions Come Hither
5 - Normally, the 50 word statement is too short for you to include anyone else in the description. So, yes,...
UndergraduateCDuke93 - Dec 14, 2016 / Holt - Dec 14, 2016
|In your opinion, what are the five characteristics of a successful person? Supplementary essay.
8 - @Holt Don't worry, Mary. They are different schools. I just wanted to have your opinion on this. Thanks, anyways....
Undergraduatesus_007 - Dec 10, 2016 / sus_007 - Dec 14, 2016
|There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve. It is the fear of failure.
2 - Rohit, kindly provide the full prompt requirement as a reference for the editing of your essay. It is too...
Undergraduaterohittiwari - Dec 14, 2016 / Holt - Dec 14, 2016
|"Sorry son I can't afford your higher education" - Common App Essay on transition to adulthood
2 - Rudra, you are supposed to be discussing an event that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood. That is...
Undergraduateksingh155 - Dec 14, 2016 / Holt - Dec 14, 2016
|7 Prime ministers changed after the end of monarchy on 23rd December 2007.
13 - I spotted a few capitalization errors that you should watch out for. Specifically, change the C in Country to...
Undergraduatemaruko42 - Dec 13, 2016 / Holt - Dec 14, 2016
|I gradually felt a big part missing from me.
9 - @Holt I agree with what you are saying. I'll redo the essay keeping in mind your suggestions. Thank you...
Undergraduatefall2017 - Dec 14, 2016 / fall2017 - Dec 14, 2016
|Admission Essay - 250 Words, Describe More About An Activity You Do
6 - In all honesty, I did not see the objective of your explanation within your statement. I reviewed the prompt...
UndergraduateCDuke93 - Dec 13, 2016 / Holt - Dec 14, 2016
|Since a very young age, I have learned to be independent and make decisions on my own
UndergraduatePri901 - Dec 14, 2016 / Pri901 - Dec 14, 2016
|'the program uniqueness and location of UBC'. Your Opinion on my UBC Admissions Question Response
6 - @Holt @mualla Thank you to both of you for reading and evaluating my writing. I have made corrections...
UndergraduateCDuke93 - Dec 12, 2016 / CDuke93 - Dec 14, 2016
|Living in Dubai, I wasn't a part of a tight-knit community like I was when living in Los Angeles
2 - Hashem, is there a chance that you can provide us with the complete prompt that you were given? I...
Undergraduatehashemmm - Nov 30, 2015 / Holt - Dec 14, 2016
|UMich short response, describe a community. "I am the boat."
2 - Quin, you can actually delete more than 8 words by better presenting your second paragraph. There are many redundancies...
Undergraduateiloveyogurt - Jan 3, 2014 / Holt - Dec 14, 2016
|My desire for a liberal arts education with a perfect academic and social environment balance.
3 - Hello Maruko42, Since I have always longed (...) everyone studies what they love. **I'm not too sure what...
Undergraduatemaruko42 - Dec 13, 2016 / CDuke93 - Dec 13, 2016
|Transition to Childhood: Encouraging Pat: "That was a really excellent presentation"
3 - Tara, you are writing a transition to adulthood essay. What you wrote doesn't really qualify for this essay prompt...
UndergraduateTechRinser - Dec 13, 2016 / Holt - Dec 13, 2016
|What do you and XYZ university have in common?(250-350 words)
4 - Sushant, here is the thing, you should be writing a straightforward comparison essay of the commonalities between you and...
Undergraduatesus_007 - Dec 13, 2016 / Holt - Dec 13, 2016
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