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|Growing up with Dermatitis; University of Washington
2 - A few things: my childhood wasn't the best of times; but it certainly wasn't the worst either. You...
UndergraduateAYU1163 - Dec 1, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 1, 2011
|'Inspired to become an engineer too' - CLARKSON UNI ESSSAY
UndergraduateChantalcd - Dec 1, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 1, 2011
|'I want to study psychology' - major UC transfer Prompt 1.
2 - His mother, a middle aged heavy Hispanic lady with thick eyebrows, brown eyes and a smile so big that...
Undergraduatejoseph_12345 - Nov 30, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 1, 2011
|'neither of my parents attended college' - University of Washington Cultural response
2 - Your essay is well written Albert! :) Though I'm not sure if you used 'epitomize' correctly. I am not...
Undergraduatemeuzilla - Dec 1, 2011 / ItsokaytoGaga - Dec 1, 2011
|'art and science, programming' - Common App short writing
Undergraduateterexberd - Nov 13, 2011 / terexberd - Dec 1, 2011
|'very close to my family' - personal statement prompt two for ucs
Undergraduatecornflakes - Nov 29, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 1, 2011
|"It's a dangerous place"; UC Common App/ World I come from
Undergraduateblueshore - Nov 25, 2011 / ItsokaytoGaga - Dec 1, 2011
|'Patience; are you almost done with your drawing?'- applytexas essay
2 - In this day and age, technology is so advanced that people are so used to everything being fast. ...
Undergraduateaden - Nov 29, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 1, 2011
|"THE SMALL STEP"-Richmond prompt
Undergraduatemimo486 - Nov 28, 2011 / mimo486 - Dec 1, 2011
|the lesson my parents' divorce taught me-UC prompt 2
2 - I really liked this essay. It is emotional, heartfelt and you portray your thoughts very well. I just made...
Undergraduateshouldievenask - Nov 30, 2011 / hlathia - Dec 1, 2011
|what order should these sentences go in? UT Austin Plan II Essay
Undergraduatedesm2012 - Nov 29, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 1, 2011
|CMC supplement, My mother as a leader
Undergraduatemarcoh5907 - Dec 1, 2011 / ItsokaytoGaga - Dec 1, 2011
|Building confidence and expressing creativity through video proj - UC Essay #2
2 - I've had an undercover passion for film and television since I saw Kill Bill at age 13, so needless...
Undergraduateharkness - Nov 29, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 1, 2011
|I am a cliche
9 - I feel this essay is much better. And I must say you are very adept at incorporating metaphors and...
Undergraduatekaran11295 - Nov 30, 2011 / ItsokaytoGaga - Dec 1, 2011
|FSU APP, "service appeals to me most"
Undergraduatejplzzzle - Nov 29, 2011 / marcoh5907 - Dec 1, 2011
|"Create a sin for Dante's Inferno"--Conformity.
2 - I am impressed by this essay. What I love about this essay is that it is straight foward. The...
Undergraduateelevit2 - Nov 26, 2011 / marcoh5907 - Dec 1, 2011
|'I am a cancer survivor.' - UC Prompt #2
UndergraduateLivestrong1313 - Nov 28, 2011 / Livestrong1313 - Dec 1, 2011
|UC Prompt #2 - Coding
6 - You make yourself appear to come from being a simpleton into the league of the top designers of the...
Undergraduaterweichler - Nov 30, 2011 / Rajiv - Dec 1, 2011
|Macaulay Honors Essay- See the World
2 - *frustrated because he had a hard time understanding... *In contrast, I say there is no need to have enemies...
Undergraduatersingh5769 - Dec 1, 2011 / reggaedomi - Dec 1, 2011
|'developing close relationships with White people' -UT Essay A
4 - what should i say instead of white people?...Whites?... and i really appreciate your help on everything else!:)...
Undergraduatereggaedomi - Nov 30, 2011 / reggaedomi - Dec 1, 2011
|'appreciation at a young age' - prompt #5
2 - This is a strong essay but some college admissions officers may find it a bit too typical. Maybe you...
Undergraduatewinnlee6 - Nov 29, 2011 / reggaedomi - Dec 1, 2011
|"simple living, high thinking" - UC Promt # 1
UndergraduateMjkaur - Nov 27, 2011 / karan11295 - Nov 30, 2011
|'a very talkative and friendly person' - Dear Future Roommate
4 - I would love to have you as a roommate, you seem great. 'constantly stacks of books near my bed'...
Undergraduatearipeters17 - Nov 30, 2011 / karan11295 - Nov 30, 2011
|"I've been sober for 20 years." someone who impacted my life
2 - First of all, it must have been hard to save your friends from drug and alcohol addiction. You managed...
Undergraduateadamkot - Nov 30, 2011 / karan11295 - Nov 30, 2011
|I would rather risk my grade than my integrity & passion -UC Prompt
4 - Nice essay, it's good that you stood up for yourself. But what attracts you towards ice skating specifically? Why...
Undergraduatemelanieleng - Nov 30, 2011 / karan11295 - Nov 30, 2011
|Each adventure brought a new strength; The journey to who I am.
3 - If it's a why PSU essay, be a little specific about the programs/faculty at PSU and try to relate...
Undergraduateasburyceline - Nov 30, 2011 / karan11295 - Nov 30, 2011
|'tears of humiliation and angriness' - UC #2
Undergraduategreciadlc - Nov 30, 2011 / JBigelow - Nov 30, 2011
|'My independence started with the realization' - Transfer UC app. Prompt #2
2 - It'd be good if you put more details on what doors were opened and also the fulfilling experiences you...
Undergraduatewafflecone - Nov 29, 2011 / JBigelow - Nov 30, 2011
|'The job of a babysitter ' - common app; work experience
3 - When you say "the opposite is also true" it makes it sound like you also DON'T have an affection...
Undergraduaterenatalemos - Nov 28, 2011 / aripeters17 - Nov 30, 2011
|'I am bewildered' - commonapp essay-My love of nature
23 - Thanks Mjkaur, I am applying to the Ivy League, MIT, Stanford, JHU, Amherst, Williams, Colby, Vassar....
Undergraduatekaran11295 - Nov 25, 2011 / karan11295 - Nov 30, 2011
|'... if my parents had never been separated' - Texas A&M Topic C
Undergraduatevictoriacuellar - Nov 30, 2011 / victoriacuellar - Nov 30, 2011
|My teacher has impacted my life. "Sweeping Away Fear" (Final Revision...) - UC Prompt 1
Undergraduatehoanan - Nov 29, 2011 / PKsendz - Nov 30, 2011
|minor in a world full of experienced individuals, UT Austin Prompt #3
2 - Marah, your essay needs work on prose and grammar. I'm sorry I can't help further, but I have my...
Undergraduatemarahhamdan - Nov 28, 2011 / PKsendz - Nov 30, 2011
|'a service trip called Winter Appalachia' - Rutgers
Undergraduategabriellek - Nov 30, 2011 / gabriellek - Nov 30, 2011
|How my morals & values came to be -UC Essay Prompt regarding what world I come from
2 - It sounds great, very illustrative and embellished. Maybe instead of saying "My grandmother survived", "say my grandmother subsisted"....
Undergraduatemelanieleng - Nov 30, 2011 / shutterbutter92 - Nov 30, 2011
|'introduction to Jazz' - UC prompt 2
Undergraduateshutterbutter92 - Nov 30, 2011 / onioninlay - Nov 30, 2011
|'Young Chemists and Physicists Competitions' - UC essay
NEW - What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have...
UndergraduatePKsendz - Nov 30, 2011 / — -
|'it was just another day in middle school' - Stanford vitality
2 - surrounded by chatty pre-teens who were apparently In other words, it was just another day in middle school,...
Undergraduatearipeters17 - Nov 30, 2011 / rweichler - Nov 30, 2011
|'My Dad's Illness Gave Me Inspiration' - UC Prompt #1
Undergraduatecweis - Nov 24, 2011 / nbdh21 - Nov 30, 2011
|'Korean-American family' + 'the Geforce Starcraft II online tournament' UC #1 and 2
2 - I think its super risky writing about Starcraft because on the first essay you mentioned how your parents were...
Undergraduatehotsoup - Nov 20, 2011 / TopEffort - Nov 30, 2011
|'the country of my ancestors: Cuba' -my college essay
2 - During my stay, I felt completely welcomed . government should not be capitalized. Not one day passed without be...
Undergraduatelaurenvictoria - Nov 30, 2011 / aripeters17 - Nov 30, 2011
|Jewish French American background - UCF how my culture has influenced me
2 - I was raised by two parents from totally different backgrounds, but their traditions, beliefs and ways soon integrated as...
UndergraduateJhirschenson1 - Nov 30, 2011 / aripeters17 - Nov 30, 2011
|Extracurricular- Hindustani and Carnatic
3 - Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum)....
Undergraduatenpnpnp - Nov 30, 2011 / npnpnp - Nov 30, 2011
|'An internship in a dentist office' - CommonApp Essay for Stony Brook
8 - "computer, and the career will fit my personality perfectly." change it to "this" career "enjoyed the atmosphere of diversity"...
Undergraduateonioninlay - Nov 30, 2011 / npnpnp - Nov 30, 2011
|'My parents-the moral guides' - UC Prompt #1
2 - "impacted by, no other, than my mom and dad" sounds odd. Do you mean none other than? "animated characters...
Undergraduateorchestranerd71 - Nov 30, 2011 / npnpnp - Nov 30, 2011
|USC Personal Statement-Oh Brother
NEW - Hello, I need help! Does this sound decent enough to turn in? Indicate a person who has had...
Undergraduatecyk - Nov 30, 2011 / — -
|SAIC Personal Statement / My Art Is Human
Undergraduatephenotype - Nov 26, 2011 / phenotype - Nov 30, 2011
|'an interest in foreign languages' - (Northeastern, BU, Ithaca, UB)
3 - Very good essay but after saying I was not staring because I thought they were weird or different I...
Undergraduateewarsaw17 - Nov 28, 2011 / adamkot - Nov 30, 2011
|'Coming to the United States with nothing' - THE WORLD YOU COME FROM
3 - I understand you said the Berlin wall, I feel as though that you shouldn't include Berlin, into or you...
Undergraduatediegorivero412 - Nov 27, 2011 / Editor1010 - Nov 30, 2011
|'The rock is actually from an Apollo 17' - GWU Moon Rock Experience
NEW - Please grade it harshly. I have problems with grammar(especially tenses), redundency. Attach an essay of no more than...
Undergraduatenpnpnp - Nov 30, 2011 / — -
|I learned the meaning of the word "endurance" - Obstacle or "Bump" (UCF Essay)
UndergraduateNakuke - Nov 30, 2011 / Nakuke - Nov 30, 2011
|"you can watch rated R!" - Common App Personal Statement
12 - Fantastic essay because its real. It speaks about who you truly are and what many of us go through....
Undergraduatesonya15 - Oct 30, 2011 / diania234 - Nov 30, 2011
|'the mechanics and the science' - USC Short Answer Essay
Undergraduateminijuey - Nov 27, 2011 / aripeters17 - Nov 30, 2011
|'I want designing' - USC Freshman: Engineering
4 - minijuey, yes, I have researched about USC, it's mentioned in a separate essay though. Since they didn't exactly state...
UndergraduateSuppiSteph - Nov 27, 2011 / SuppiSteph - Nov 30, 2011
|'every time I put on my Hilltopper blue jersey' - Short Essay on Activity
2 - A few things: Before calling my name to receive a certificate,my coach's words were, "She is an important...
Undergraduatewinnlee6 - Nov 29, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 30, 2011
|My Choir experience UC prompt
5 - Joining the choir made me able to open up to people and express my love for performing arts. This...
Undergraduateaneres23 - Nov 27, 2011 / bookerAs1 - Nov 30, 2011
|That burst of red gushing fluid shooting out; Tomatoes- UW Essay Prompt 2
2 - Haha you are quite dramatic about those awful tomatoes! Just like how donkeys are so stubborn-- I would...
Undergraduatehawkz456 - Nov 27, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 30, 2011
|Astronauts and Astronomers - stepping out of your comfort zone - U of Richmond essay
Undergraduateka19921 - Nov 30, 2011 / — -
|'the things we look at change' - essay for community college
2 - Only a few months ago, I glanced at the SAT and ACT tests like they were monsters impossible to...
Undergraduatejan11 - Nov 29, 2011 / EF_Susan - Nov 30, 2011
|'the tv show bones' - USC Supplement
2 - When asked what my major was going to be, I always replied "undecided," because I couldn't choose between all...
UndergraduateJBigelow - Nov 28, 2011 / EF_Susan - Nov 30, 2011
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