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|'Ultimate Energy Creator' : If you could invent something what would it be and why?
2 - Your first sentence answers the prompt a bit TOO directly. Maybe you could try starting off in a little...
Undergraduateangaduday - Dec 10, 2011 / leviator - Dec 10, 2011
|'like any other Chinese-Indonesian' - information of interest
4 - Great job and really interesting I would suggest the same as Tobi maybe try rearranging your sentences to find...
Undergraduatedetrickillu - Dec 8, 2011 / hedieh - Dec 10, 2011
|A Jungle of thought - UVA supplement
3 - WOW... u really have a way with words...i had to re-read your wave of cardboard essay again just to...
Undergraduateaerielm - Dec 9, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 10, 2011
|Why a doctor - Med Program Application
Undergraduatehlathia - Nov 13, 2011 / Dii - Dec 10, 2011
|Common App Short Answer on Extemporaneous Speaking
2 - Curiosity for why humans---replace with "Curiosity as to how humans " Actually i don't find your essay "choppy"...
Undergraduatebluemoon680 - Dec 9, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 10, 2011
|'New York City was not for me' - BU Supplement Short Essay
2 - Really good essay...no grammar or style errors that i could notice...And the content is refreshingly new as well. The...
Undergraduateyurkler - Dec 10, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 10, 2011
|'losing one of the most important role model' - Common App: Significant Experience
3 - Thanks ChihiroLavi. yeah i feel it a little weak too. Im gonna make some changes in it. thanks :)...
UndergraduateSATRIOPUTRANTO - Dec 10, 2011 / SATRIOPUTRANTO - Dec 10, 2011
|'About Korean Culture' - Common App
4 - bluemoon680 and amer77, thanks so much for the editing/your opinion! i will take them into consideration. i'm about to...
Undergraduatealstjs94 - Dec 9, 2011 / alstjs94 - Dec 9, 2011
|'inside the Trinity Cafe' - Duke Arts and Sciences, Why Duke short essay
2 - Hey kelly...pretty unique and interesting essay you have got there...and don't worry about the paragraphs at all...The only corrections...
Undergraduatekellbell - Dec 9, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 9, 2011
|'I'm a hoarder' - Tufts consider the world within- knowledge
6 - Thank you all so much for your help! I actually totally agree with everything all of you said to...
Undergraduatekellbell - Dec 3, 2011 / kellbell - Dec 9, 2011
|'why he recommend this school' - Ohio State University essay
2 - Hi! I think this sentence is incorrect. I was curious about his recommendation, also I was not...
UndergraduateBazingaMa - Dec 9, 2011 / kerlik - Dec 9, 2011
|'my focus to Film and Television writing' - transfer essay for NYU and USC
3 - @admissions, Thank for your honest feedback, I appreciate it. I'm also concerned that my interests for the media...
Undergraduatedj02bothell - Dec 9, 2011 / dj02bothell - Dec 9, 2011
|My contribution for ten years Common app short essay
3 - Hi, Thank you so much for your comment. I will write about my activity. From grade1 to grade12,...
Undergraduateesuparusu - Dec 9, 2011 / esuparusu - Dec 9, 2011
|'I used to bring Paul to Blockbuster' - princeton
Undergraduatemorecelery - Dec 1, 2011 / morecelery - Dec 9, 2011
|'I stand humiliated on the chair' - PRINCETON
Undergraduatemorecelery - Dec 1, 2011 / morecelery - Dec 9, 2011
|'beautiful haunting experience' - UF Application
UndergraduateManarN - Oct 23, 2011 / leviator - Dec 9, 2011
|'member of a FIRST robotics team' - Gatech 1000 char essay
5 - Hello, This essay does not fully answer the prompt. Why Georgia Tech? You did not mention anything in...
UndergraduateScanta - Dec 8, 2011 / admission2012 - Dec 9, 2011
|'being around people I don't know' - Common App
2 - I can't say for sure how everyone else felt about this particular night, but for me, I knew exactly...
Undergraduatemissrchelle - Dec 8, 2011 / leviator - Dec 9, 2011
|'Challenge and prepare' - UCF Part 2
2 - "it was also give me the chance..." will give me the chance... big first step..." the first big step...
Undergraduatecmpxo - Dec 8, 2011 / Riddi - Dec 9, 2011
|'After getting denied...' - my transfer essay
5 - Upon my rejection (you can use a different word if this sounds too harsh) to Virginia Tech as a...
Undergraduatelfloyd11 - Nov 6, 2011 / dj02bothell - Dec 9, 2011
|"And the new Vice President is..." - COMMON APP PARAGRAPH
UndergraduateGjidodaj - Dec 7, 2011 / missrchelle - Dec 8, 2011
|'The hands of my nana' - somebody who left a handprint in my life
3 - Hey! So, overall, I can definitely tell that your nana is an important person in your life. A few...
Undergraduatesavanahsteele - Dec 8, 2011 / missrchelle - Dec 8, 2011
|'I have taken many courses' - NJIT essay
2 - My friend is currently a freshman at NJIT and he told me NJIT has amazing courses on computer engineering....
Undergraduatewatsup2 - Dec 8, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 8, 2011
|An airplane idea that could revolutionize the world. Duke essay =)
4 - @ARness Thanks for the tips! I really am still working on it and I will definitely include what you...
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 8, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 8, 2011
|I'm a nerd- Dear Future Roommate
NEW - Prompt: Write a letter to your future roommate. Dear Future Roommate, I'm very excited to meet you, but...
Undergraduatekenyaboyfresh - Dec 8, 2011 / — -
|Nagareboshi (Shooting Stars) - Common App Essay Option 1
4 - Thanks helterskelter, I hope my comments in your public health essay helped too :) maroon5, I was thinking about...
Undergraduatechrono13 - Dec 7, 2011 / chrono13 - Dec 8, 2011
|'being surrounded by people from diverse backgrounds' - The Northwestern Admissions
2 - Northwestern want the best, and so do I---replace "want" with "wants" Your essay is pretty awesome; it's abundantly...
Undergraduateharshshah - Dec 8, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 8, 2011
|My Fist Day in SISU
UndergraduateYuri - Dec 8, 2011 / Yuri - Dec 8, 2011
|Building a speaker - Something you do for the pleasure of it - MIT short answer - fb
Undergraduatenhat_pro_007 - Dec 7, 2011 / nhat_pro_007 - Dec 8, 2011
|'a highly challenging and competitive academic school' - why northwestern
3 - its a really good essay. it shows YOU. and thats the whole point of these essay moreover your writing...
UndergraduateMoredred - Nov 15, 2011 / harshshah - Dec 8, 2011
|What are the benefits of a diverse educational community? (Virginia Tech)
3 - Hi, I agree with maroon5. I don't really feel as if you truly want to experience a diverse community....
Undergraduatelfloyd11 - Dec 8, 2011 / Ravenclaw_roar - Dec 8, 2011
|'educational foundation and experience' - DUKE engineering
Undergraduatetehfunkicookie - Dec 5, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 8, 2011
|veterinary medicine -VT Essay - the five top reasons you want to attend Virginia Tech
5 - I must say that this is a very good personal statement. You made it personal and gave specific details...
Undergraduatevgray2012 - Oct 29, 2011 / lfloyd11 - Dec 8, 2011
|'Becoming an oncology doctor' (choosing a major)
4 - Thank YOU!...
UndergraduateAliia - Nov 28, 2011 / Aliia - Dec 8, 2011
|Virginia tech essay: 5 Reasons why you want to attend virginia tech
Undergraduateanhduc_1004 - Nov 7, 2011 / lfloyd11 - Dec 8, 2011
|"Boston Tea Party" - Why Boston?
2 - Some suggestions: 1. See the ranking of Boston university in the top ranking systems of the world like: QS...
UndergraduateDaphne0904 - Dec 7, 2011 / ajit88rai - Dec 7, 2011
|'a local or global issue - blueberries' - PITZER suppliment
2 - Often times overlooked because of problems concerning energy and water, food is the cornerstone of every society that has...
Undergraduatejsturm31 - Dec 7, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 7, 2011
|'Students and alumni I talked to in person' - Colorado College
Undergraduatejsturm31 - Nov 21, 2011 / jsturm31 - Dec 7, 2011
|"Growing Up On A Farm"-Common App Essay
6 - These are exactly the same essay! There is not one word different on essay #2. There's quite a bit...
UndergraduateNDBROTHER101 - Dec 4, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 7, 2011
|The influence of my second grade teacher (essay)
2 - I had trouble communicating in English so I had no friends, and I failed my schoolwork due to comprehension...
Undergraduatemidnightroses - Dec 7, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 7, 2011
|Essay about my first job at the age of eight and a half
6 - Thanks everyone for taking the time to read and edit my essay! I sadly don't have enough characters to...
Undergraduatemikisuzuko - Dec 6, 2011 / mikisuzuko - Dec 7, 2011
|Admissions for the Ultrasound Program at my School
3 - But once you know what you want to pursue,your career in it's a wonderful feeling; knowing that you are...
Undergraduatexoglamkisses - Dec 5, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 7, 2011
|'watching the 8 bit video games' - Art institute of Vancouver entrance
Undergraduateimarie - Dec 7, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 7, 2011
|'3 Quotes To Describe' + 'Music is food for the soul' Commonapps:Topic Of Your Choice
Undergraduaterasim99 - Dec 4, 2011 / rasim99 - Dec 7, 2011
|'Intellectual Engagement is a beast' - Bowdoin
Undergraduatekaran11295 - Dec 7, 2011 / karan11295 - Dec 7, 2011
|Model UN - Common App Short Essay. Too common?
2 - i don't think the topic's too common, it's not like everybody is in the Model UN. i think you...
Undergraduatebarriertx - Dec 7, 2011 / Guest - Dec 7, 2011
|'my forte in sciences' - Diversity common app
UndergraduateJaineel406 - Dec 6, 2011 / AmethystLiang - Dec 7, 2011
|'health questions' - Rice Supplement Essay
3 - Hey Arianna! I don't know if you're response is below or above 200 words, but it looks like its...
UndergraduateAU0594 - Dec 6, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 7, 2011
|"Coming From Bushwick/Background Influences" Common App Personal Statement
2 - Good essay...However u do come off as someone who has a very negative outlook on life at whenever u...
Undergraduateant518 - Dec 4, 2011 / maroon5 - Dec 7, 2011
|'the arts began when I learned how to paint' - Rutgers University
4 - It's good but a short anecdote that portrays the intro may be stronger and draw in the reader more....
Undergraduateecho5016 - Dec 4, 2011 / ninosage - Dec 7, 2011
|'majoring in computers or any other type of engineering'-How did you learn about NJIT
UndergraduateKevinho - Nov 28, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 7, 2011
|'as undeclared' - University of Illinois Transfer Essay
2 - hi mreese92. The purpose of many of these college essays, whether it would be for ungrad, grad, or transfer,...
Undergraduatemreese92 - Dec 6, 2011 / tehfunkicookie - Dec 6, 2011
|'Mixed Bag' - Why you consider OSU college?
2 - Growing up in a Hispanic family with a dissimilar cultural background than the rest of society, can sometimes give...
Undergraduateavao - Dec 5, 2011 / EF_Susan - Dec 6, 2011
|" life is full obstcacles" - Gap Year essay
6 - Life is unpredictable; it's hard to tell what the next moment will bring, but amid all of that uncertainty...
UndergraduateDMA17 - Nov 27, 2011 / DMA17 - Dec 6, 2011
|'As a Culture mixer.' - Essay
UndergraduateDonnyWang - Nov 29, 2011 / DonnyWang - Dec 6, 2011
|'If I were a biomedical engineer...' - Colorado Boulder Prompt #1
UndergraduateLivestrong1313 - Dec 1, 2011 / jessiedong - Dec 6, 2011
|'my father has been working in China' - someone who has made an impact on your life
3 - 1. I think its kinda risky telling the undergrad admissions that you prefer goal over family because you don't...
Undergraduatecorn0330 - Dec 5, 2011 / TopEffort - Dec 6, 2011
|Common app- "The Pseudo Note"
UndergraduateArturuos - Dec 5, 2011 / Arturuos - Dec 5, 2011
|issue of importance to you-problem with combining cultures
Undergraduateawesomemo - Dec 1, 2011 / awesomemo - Dec 5, 2011
|'heading for Egypt' + 'working at 7-Eleven' - significant risk
3 - The first one definitely sheds a lot more light about who you are, although I do think it needs...
Undergraduatesenioritis24 - Dec 5, 2011 / twilista - Dec 5, 2011
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