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|'parents were born in a third world country' - Describe the world you come from
UndergraduateArabo33 - Nov 19, 2011 / — -
|'Beethoven's piano sonatas' - University of Chicago Supplement
5 - Hi. The essay does answer the question. But I think you should take time in your essay to talk...
Undergraduateraphael0729 - Nov 11, 2011 / Arabo33 - Nov 19, 2011
|'a Texas All-State swimmer' - Common app extra curricular essay
3 - It looks great to me but one suggestion would be to take the "I'm unbeatable" and position it somewhere...
UndergraduateMoredred - Nov 19, 2011 / Arabo33 - Nov 19, 2011
|'to explore the fantastic world' - my PS, any suggestions?
3 - thank you...
Undergraduatekarencao - Nov 17, 2011 / karencao - Nov 19, 2011
|The road to my dream profession (common app short answer)
Undergraduatecollegebound15 - Nov 18, 2011 / thedarkknight - Nov 18, 2011
|innovate through failure - Common App essay topic 1
NEW - Common App Prompt A: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have face...
Undergraduatethedarkknight - Nov 18, 2011 / — -
|'My schooling and my parents' - The world you come from-UC Application
4 - its a good essay except that it comes up as if you had pushy parents and a difficult schooling...
UndergraduateMv71 - Oct 31, 2011 / thedarkknight - Nov 18, 2011
|Christmas vacation- significant experience you have faced+ its impact on you (Depaul)
5 - Try and be a little more descriptive in the beginning, like explain the situation more clearly because im not...
Undergraduatestefg - Nov 14, 2011 / naomiyeahnaomi - Nov 18, 2011
|How do you feel about Wednesday? (Semi fad of religion semi pro pagan) UChicago essay
4 - Thanks. I actually ended up completely changing around the essay for the very reasons you were listing....
UndergraduateBecauseIFLI - Nov 1, 2011 / BecauseIFLI - Nov 18, 2011
|Soccer and Architecture: Match Made in Heaven? UC Essay 1
2 - I really like your essay (as a soccer player and right defender/goalie myself) and I like how you connect...
UndergraduateHCOdude - Nov 15, 2011 / 12SMiller - Nov 18, 2011
|'I spent one month living in the street' - admission ucf
5 - I always remember this day, Tuesday January 12, 2010, as if it was yesterday. It was started like...
Undergraduateolivier007 - Oct 29, 2011 / s_saber - Nov 18, 2011
|UC prompt 2- "what sets me apart"
3 - I would suggest going more in depth! I agree with the previous comment with being detailed especially with your...
Undergraduatepavanjot - Nov 15, 2011 / sonnofali - Nov 18, 2011
|Cultural differences? - UC, UT, UW 3 in 1 essay
NEW - UC: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about...
Undergraduatezeo3456 - Nov 18, 2011 / — -
|"The Butterfly Effect" - College Essay for WC
3 - France's economy was worsening and a lot of cutbacks were happening, my father happened to have been caught in...
Undergraduatebob10094 - Nov 15, 2011 / bob10094 - Nov 18, 2011
|UC Davis: Renaissance & Romanticism; From Death Comes Life
3 - Thank you, but that's not any type of criticism except for pointless flaming. Therefore, your response was unnecessary....
UndergraduateNikki_Phenomena - Nov 18, 2011 / Nikki_Phenomena - Nov 18, 2011
|'I questioned my life' - UCF essay Obstacle
3 - The essay is "write about an obstacle you have overcome in your past" and i am wondering what i...
UndergraduateWytkewicz27 - Nov 18, 2011 / Wytkewicz27 - Nov 18, 2011
|'at least one activity that dominated my time' - Most Interesting Experience Essay
2 - Most interesting experiance includes only one experience not an expanded time period of your life. for experiance you can...
Undergraduate1st2fall - Nov 15, 2011 / Wytkewicz27 - Nov 18, 2011
|'planning to transfer to Middlebury (international student)' -common app transfer
Undergraduatemenukagrg - Nov 12, 2011 / joschkaz - Nov 18, 2011
|'Mama Burger with Cheese and no pickles' Short Answer for Common App Work experience
4 - My work experience as a cashier at A&W helped me to develop and grow tremendously. ...break here for another...
Undergraduatewinnie0603 - Nov 18, 2011 / dumi - Nov 18, 2011
|'to be a part of this exhilarating project' - Short answer transfer essay
7 - Thanks guys. I already submitted this supplementary essay but next time, i will definetely take your guys' suggestions under...
Undergraduatemenukagrg - Nov 14, 2011 / menukagrg - Nov 18, 2011
|'Interest in engineering; I built my first computer' - Lehigh University supplements
Undergraduatecon0r - Nov 15, 2011 / dumi - Nov 18, 2011
|'this job was going to be harder than I thought' - significant experience
2 - 508 is fine, no need to trim it down. This is well written with few grammatical errors that I'm...
Undergraduateallieg - Nov 13, 2011 / engwriting101 - Nov 18, 2011
|Would you ever eat a guinea pig? - Rutger's college essay
NEW - Please feel free to be honest and criticize. I would really love it if anyone would edit/recommend/give any sort...
Undergraduatessc8701 - Nov 18, 2011 / — -
|'never did anything exceptionally horrible' - Disciplinary Essay for Umich
3 - i really agree with kenya about how there was too much repetition of the word I in every sentence....
UndergraduateStrappingyl - Nov 17, 2011 / ssc8701 - Nov 17, 2011
|'able to explore new personalities, ideals, and opinions' UC Prompt 2
Undergraduatedchau503 - Nov 17, 2011 / dumdeedumdeedoo - Nov 17, 2011
|UC Transfer (UC Berkeley) - Blowing Through the Constraints
2 - felt so darn personal I feel like it doesn't fit with the rest of the essay, it's to colloquial......
Undergraduatewhoau49 - Nov 17, 2011 / saidasine - Nov 17, 2011
|'Super Snozz' - Common Application (Topic of my own)
3 - First off thanks for reading my essay earlier and thanks for your input. Since you helped me with mine...
Undergraduatelovelife - Nov 17, 2011 / s1staskus - Nov 17, 2011
|'with my driver's license in hand' - Common App Prompt A
6 - Hi! First, a completely random statement: OH MY GOD WE ARE DRIVING TWINS...literally everything that happened to you also...
Undergraduates1staskus - Nov 16, 2011 / lovelife - Nov 17, 2011
|'I see the resemblance of my mother' - COMMON APP
2 - Hi! I like the theme of your essay; your opening statement is very clever, especially as you explore the...
Undergraduatejbjc11 - Nov 17, 2011 / lovelife - Nov 17, 2011
|'Each country should be held accountable for others' - Adelphi essay
UndergraduatebreakingRenee - Nov 15, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 17, 2011
|brief 3-5 P essay-hoping to gain from experience at CBU?(academic, social, spiritual)
Undergraduatetingraham - Nov 15, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 17, 2011
|'Goals help you plan your next step' - long and short term goals
3 - I think it should be As a high School student setting goals is very important. Otherwise the essay is...
Undergraduatedenzelmcd - Nov 16, 2011 / ketalthedon - Nov 17, 2011
|'I come from a dangerous neighborhood in South Central LA' - UC prompt #1
5 - This is a nice essay. and your point is good: lawless society made me rethink about family and pursuit...
Undergraduatemarcoh5907 - Nov 16, 2011 / parker - Nov 17, 2011
|'the slides of Chinese government' - Importance of Diversity Common App Essay
4 - kaioulunar Shouldn't it be" Despite my family's low income, we always saved up to go on at least...
Undergraduatekaioulunar - Nov 16, 2011 / ftt608 - Nov 17, 2011
|'the streets of Hong Kong' - UC transfer app- out of my comfort zone
3 - I think u can put more emphasis on certain experiences to make the story a little funnier to read....
Undergraduatekingkung - Nov 10, 2011 / emanon - Nov 17, 2011
|Acting on an Animal Instinct - Common App Essay
2 - Good structure and creative perspective. (: But a few places to be improved: The second paragraph serves as...
Undergraduateinsanesoul81994 - Nov 17, 2011 / emanon - Nov 17, 2011
|Why I seek a college education, what I expect from it, and why I chose Menlo college
Undergraduatecrown2728 - Nov 16, 2011 / EricJ - Nov 16, 2011
|'Steve Jobs had an affect on me' - influential person Common App
Undergraduatelambo1013 - Nov 16, 2011 / lavender_pham - Nov 16, 2011
|The overpowering voice -Common App Essay
4 - i agree with eric. you should start off with someone who has made an influence in your life rather...
Undergraduatessc8701 - Nov 16, 2011 / lambo1013 - Nov 16, 2011
|'Violence is a physical force' - an issue of importance to you. Applytexas
Undergraduatejk3sons - Nov 14, 2011 / EricJ - Nov 16, 2011
|'This multifarious culture' How will your culture and religion contribute to Rutgers?
5 - Ok, there were a few gramatical errors and lapses i found, so instead of pointing each one out i...
UndergraduateUzi987 - Oct 28, 2011 / HCOdude - Nov 16, 2011
|'My ability to work well with others' - Illinois State Admission
2 - The start of my senior year signaled the beginning of making a life-changing decision-choosing my future university. I've never...
UndergraduateKoopaFish - Nov 13, 2011 / crown2728 - Nov 16, 2011
|'a formidable opponent' - University of Virginia Supplement 1
2 - The transition between your struggle and your epiphany seems a little...quick? Maybe describe it a little more, or better?...
UndergraduateHenryXVI - Nov 15, 2011 / kaioulunar - Nov 16, 2011
|'Culture shock and drastic changes at an older age' - My "short" answer UW
3 - Since there's a word limit, try taking out some of the examples? Overall, it's very well written and paint's...
Undergraduateohhnatasha - Nov 13, 2011 / kaioulunar - Nov 16, 2011
|'I learned how to interact with other workers.' - Rutgers Essay
4 - The first paragraph was nice. But you are listing your exrea curr. activities and explaining. If you must do...
UndergraduateDivyesh973 - Nov 16, 2011 / Nnennej - Nov 16, 2011
|'A citizen in the City of Buffalo' + 'I want to become a Politician' - UC essays
4 - Being a citizen in the City of Buffalo does not exactly draw envy from outsiders. Also, identifying as a...
Undergraduateqrhaggerty94 - Nov 16, 2011 / Nnennej - Nov 16, 2011
|'Northern India, the birthplace of my parents' - where I come from UC personal
5 - Children study,yet... But ,That all changed the day I learnt my grandma had suffered from a stroke,which caused...
Undergraduatepavanjot - Oct 10, 2011 / Nnennej - Nov 16, 2011
|Would You Ever Eat a Guinea Pig? - A college essay for Rutgers
2 - You did not answer the essay prompt at all. it seems like you are telling a story,which is okay,but...
Undergraduatessc8701 - Nov 16, 2011 / Nnennej - Nov 16, 2011
|The Movies and Film Acts (A common App)
Undergraduateggrabarek - Nov 6, 2011 / ggrabarek - Nov 16, 2011
|Throughout my childhood I have always been taught to have high goals and see "the bigger picture".
3 - Thank you! I really appreciate it, the prompt isl describe the world you come from-family, friends, community I'll take...
Undergraduatetal1337 - Nov 13, 2011 / tal1337 - Nov 16, 2011
|"Don't hurt people" ; Civil & Environmental Engineering at CMU
Undergraduatekaioulunar - Nov 16, 2011 / qrhaggerty94 - Nov 16, 2011
|'to pursue and master the science of medicine in the discipline of Neurobiology' USC
2 - How will it drive you to reach your limits and offer your skills to new generations and provide social...
Undergraduateshirley94 - Nov 16, 2011 / kaioulunar - Nov 16, 2011
|'I love all of my family members' - Essay about personal importance
2 - A few grammar issues... Whenever I did something wrong, she just gently told me not to relapse into....
Undergraduatedrawar - Nov 16, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 16, 2011
|'A trip that continued' - UT-an issue of importance to you
NEW - Plz give me any advise and point out my mistake, including the grammar and the inapt word use in...
Undergraduatenene1123 - Nov 16, 2011 / — -
|My dreams and aspiration-UC Prompt 1; The Basketball Game-UC Prompt 2
3 - About the first essay: it's a bio-data rather than a biography....the Adcoms really want to know you not your...
Undergraduatewerty363 - Nov 15, 2011 / MIT2016 - Nov 16, 2011
|has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations:I was born in a small city
5 - To say honestly, your idea is a bit generic. The case you mentioned, to me, does not define your...
Undergraduateafroditi - Nov 15, 2011 / MIT2016 - Nov 16, 2011
|'Singing being a Filipino' - UC-- Describe the world you come from
4 - I agree that the second portion lacks the tone. You said 'singing taught you to compete with others and...
Undergraduatecoolname - Nov 16, 2011 / MIT2016 - Nov 16, 2011
|biology intended major-UC transfer app
2 - Hey! Okay here are my thoughts: -Put a comma after the word instead in the second sentence. -Put...
Undergraduatekingkung - Nov 16, 2011 / qrhaggerty94 - Nov 16, 2011
|Personal statement. living with ADD (attention deficit disorder)
2 - Hey... just a few thoughts: "...Only excited my already excited thoughts." -That's sort of awkward. I don't think...
UndergraduateDrMre - Nov 9, 2011 / qrhaggerty94 - Nov 16, 2011
|'this person has saved my life' - ApplyTexas Topic A
2 - Dear n_3194, I was very impressed with your essay and the way you have presented it. It flows very...
Undergraduaten_3194 - Nov 16, 2011 / dumi - Nov 16, 2011
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