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|This university has dedicated itself to "nurturing honest, eager, and critical minds" I can offer it
5 - I really think this essay is well written. I think if you're sure of your capabilities then why not...
Undergraduatenerdella - Dec 10, 2016 / nazzia30 - Dec 11, 2016
|The sole intention of the education is to equip the students with as much knowledge as possible
5 - Knowledge is one thing, but don't forget about critical thinking - without it knowledge is useless (you won't be...
Undergraduatezemo1993 - Dec 9, 2016 / Rich Monte - Dec 11, 2016
|Aptly described by a friend as "tenacious", my determination and dogged devotion to any task
3 - Lyndsay, I have to say that you have written a very humorous essay here. Your depiction of yourself as...
Undergraduatenerdella - Dec 10, 2016 / Holt - Dec 11, 2016
|Describe a religious, cultural, or family tradition you can share with the Colgate community.
11 - @Holt How about now, sir ? Deusi Rey... Every Nepalese family revels in the annual fiesta of lights,...
Undergraduatesus_007 - Dec 8, 2016 / sus_007 - Dec 10, 2016
|Extracurricular essay- can someone help me correct or improve it
8 - Vinesh, your statement is too broad in concept and does not fully focus on one aspect of the extra...
Undergraduatekervina - Dec 9, 2016 / Holt - Dec 10, 2016
|My girlfriend. This girl changed me as a person. Penn State Personal Statement
7 - Hai, you have written the wrong response for the prompt. This essay is not about other people and their...
Undergraduatehle2000 - Dec 7, 2016 / Holt - Dec 10, 2016
|Application answer with fun. Need some help and advice to improve and make it funnier
3 - Excellent work Kerwin! I was really drawn into the events that unfolded in the locker room that day. I...
Undergraduatekervina - Dec 8, 2016 / Holt - Dec 8, 2016
|A Bird in the hand is worth two in a bush
2 - Mohamoud, did you accidentally post the wrong response for this prompt? There is nothing in the essay that you...
Undergraduateproud - Dec 8, 2016 / Holt - Dec 8, 2016
|My exchange year in Orange, MA was overwhelmingly full of things for me to learn from
2 - Arhum, don't tell the reviewer that this experience made you transition from childhood to adulthood. Show him that the...
UndergraduateArhum - Dec 8, 2016 / Holt - Dec 8, 2016
|Intra-university transfer statement detailing why you want to join School of Information Studies
5 - You should definitely change the path of your presentation. While there is only a single major offered be university,...
UndergraduateMehzah - Dec 7, 2016 / Holt - Dec 8, 2016
|Finally stepping out of my comfort zone- help with my motivational statement for Peace corps!
3 - Marilu, your essay has the beginnings of a strong discussion as to why you were motivated to join the...
Undergraduatemsb08010 - Dec 7, 2016 / Holt - Dec 8, 2016
|Recount a time when something really made you laugh. Smith and Colgate University supplemental
3 - Nice essays AmbigaY!!For the first essay, I think it is not simple to tell that story in only 200...
UndergraduateAmbigaY - Dec 7, 2016 / Amatis250 - Dec 7, 2016
|I come from a family of chefs- MIT essay
8 - Ambigay, you are concentrating the essay on yourself. That is not what the essay wants you to present. This...
UndergraduateAlvinos - Dec 4, 2016 / Holt - Dec 6, 2016
|I have a dual personality. What would it mean to you to call yourself an AU Eagle?
5 - @Holt Thank you for helping me out. Since the word limit is only 100 words, I am struggling to...
Undergraduatefall2017 - Dec 6, 2016 / fall2017 - Dec 6, 2016
|Why Information and Decision Science essay
3 - @zuzzaa02 Hi, Zuzanna! I agree with @Holt. I think you might miss the point here. According to...
Undergraduatezuzzaa02 - Dec 5, 2016 / Jessica Xie - Dec 6, 2016
|Ever since I was small, I have been intrigued by discussions (SUA Essay Prompt)
Undergraduatefall2017 - Nov 28, 2016 / fall2017 - Dec 6, 2016
|Boston University supplement essay: tell us why BU is a good fit for you, why you apply?
5 - @Holt Thank you very much for your advice! There is actually a problem. Since I'm not living in the...
UndergraduateJessica Xie - Dec 5, 2016 / Jessica Xie - Dec 6, 2016
|How my inability to speak has affected me in negative ways
6 - See if this conclusion works for you. My religious belief caused me to be bullied by so-called "friends"...
UndergraduateUnBound - Dec 4, 2016 / Holt - Dec 6, 2016
|I'm writing about my interest, talent in mathematics. 'Some students have a background...'
2 - Antonio, in my opinion, the essay will work best if you remove the reference to the way that you...
UndergraduateLOGA92116 - Dec 6, 2016 / Holt - Dec 6, 2016
|Another late night at the hospital. Constructive Advice Needed on Nursing Program Entrance Essay
4 - Hi Chloe, Here is what I suggest then. Don't limit your lessons learned to only your aunt. Use your...
Undergraduateclr - Dec 5, 2016 / Holt - Dec 5, 2016
|I was excited to learn about the Liberal Studies Core Program at NYU. "Why NYU" Writing Supplement
5 - The essay question states: WHY NYU but from your response you are responding to THIS IS NYU. I guess...
Undergraduatelillianasss - Nov 30, 2016 / chizy7 - Dec 4, 2016
|I have never thought I would give a torn apart birthday card.
2 - David, I would appreciate it a lot if you can present us with the full prompt requirement as soon...
UndergraduateBluePillow - Dec 2, 2016 / Holt - Dec 2, 2016
|Family is the most valuable thing in my heart - UT Austin topic A
UndergraduateLope55816 - Dec 2, 2016 / Lope55816 - Dec 2, 2016
|An accident at school. My role model has always been my mother.
2 - Unibileg, this is one essay that should not be focused on you are the topic of the essay. Your...
Undergraduateenkhtuvshinun - Dec 1, 2016 / Holt - Dec 2, 2016
|I am a manifest renaissance man. The long term scholastic and professional ambitions
2 - Numi, since this program concentrates on engineering (bio-engineering?) it would be best if you limit your long term academic...
Undergraduaterurus - Dec 1, 2016 / Holt - Dec 1, 2016
|Both my parents separated just when I was about 3 months. Surroundings in which you were raised.
3 - Hello Elena.. I will give you suggestion of your writing. ... CPS and reported my mother boyfriend[my mother's...
Undergraduateelenamarie99 - Dec 1, 2016 / l1h4h - Dec 1, 2016
|Rice University - cultural perspective essay
2 - Allana, why are you discussing only food when you should be discussing how you have a unique cultural identity...
Undergraduatesleepycorndogs - Dec 1, 2016 / Holt - Dec 1, 2016
|Anecdote for Essay: ( Which one are you Again?) Memoirs of an Identical Twin
3 - The participants, unbeknownst to them, included our classmates and teachers.Our participants in this devious study were our unwitting students...
UndergraduateJasmen156 - Nov 30, 2016 / sleepycorndogs - Dec 1, 2016
|Frog. Deefrog. Froggy. UVA Essay: Favorite Word (Odd but unique essay) (250 words)
5 - ...my close friends preferchoose to refer to me as an small, slimy amphibious animal. ... it has replaced...
UndergraduateDeepakG - Nov 30, 2016 / sleepycorndogs - Dec 1, 2016
|"Table No. 4: 1 Langoustine Ceviche & 2 medium-rare veal filets" extracurricular activities essay
6 - @Holt Thank you very much holt, I really loved your version. If there's anything I could do for u,...
Undergraduatekervin - Nov 30, 2016 / kervin - Nov 30, 2016
|Hopes and Dreams... The fate of my father and countless others in Kathmandu
3 - Thank you for your suggestion. I have submitted this essay to one college.Is it leaning more towards breaking...
Undergraduategyanas - Nov 30, 2016 / gyanas - Nov 30, 2016
|I am quirky myself. Why Tufts? Which aspects prompt your application
UndergraduateKutluasiye - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|"My brother to my left, My brother my right. Together we stand, Together we fight."
UndergraduatePickleM1 - Nov 29, 2016 / justivy03 - Nov 30, 2016
|Today experience matters much more than credentials in the labor market. ProTrack Engineering Co-op
UndergraduateNgwane - Nov 28, 2016 / Ngwane - Nov 30, 2016
|It only took about 10 years of public schooling for me to finally appreciate science.
2 - Allana, I think that your narration can be better improved if you skip talking about the dullness of your...
Undergraduatesleepycorndogs - Nov 29, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|Essay pertaining to a life expeirience that influenced character
2 - Andreas, there seems to be an exaggeration on your part regarding the accident. You describe the minivan as having...
Undergraduatealovemarvel - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|Personal Profile for application (applied sciences)
3 - Eric, rather than simply telling the reviewer that you were an introvert, you should have shown instances when other...
Undergraduatebontol - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|A dream ticket: I would get on a plane to Silicon Valley for a meeting with Elon Musk
2 - Ryan, please don't waste your opportunity in this essay on such a trivial response as meeting celebrities and spending...
Undergraduateryan6ixgod - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|Kilachand Honors College Essay on the Power
4 - Charisma, here the thing, your opening statement should be a presentation of facts based upon the paraphrased prompt. That...
Undergraduatepoorwriterhelp - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|Most students have an identity, an interest or a talent that defines them in an essential way...
2 - Kieran, what you are talking about is not a talent nor an identity. You have nothing in this essay...
Undergraduatekieranh1 - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|In the Eyes of My Siblings - ESSAY for UCLA: Freshman Application
2 - Salma, I am confused. What is the relevance of your running away from home? Since you bothered to narrate...
Undergraduatefdodi1 - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|What was the surroundings in which you grew up? Explain how it shaped you as a person.
5 - @Holt Thank you for your advice but I would not consider myself a "military brat" as I was never...
Undergraduaterachizzle17 - Nov 29, 2016 / rachizzle17 - Nov 30, 2016
|Along the way of my 17-year rollercoaster ride in this life, I have learned valuable life lessons
5 - @Holt Thank you very much! this is the revised form i cant really add anything to the conclusion due...
Undergraduateryan6ixgod - Nov 29, 2016 / ryan6ixgod - Nov 29, 2016
|Essay about failure in musical theatre resulting in success in opera - common app prompt
4 - Am I that active? Thanks for the compliment Allana. In reference to your question, the forum admin doesn't consider...
Undergraduatesleepycorndogs - Nov 29, 2016 / Holt - Nov 29, 2016
|Right from my childhood, my dream was to become a civil Engineer - personal and/or academic goals
2 - Habeeb. the prompt was cut off in your title portion. Please post the full prompt as soon as you...
Undergraduatehabeeb - Nov 28, 2016 / Holt - Nov 28, 2016
|What draws you to Bates- Bates 2016 Writing Supplement
2 - Kevin, the essay really works for your benefit. It is strong and clearly reflects your understanding of the prompt...
UndergraduateKevinG - Nov 28, 2016 / Holt - Nov 28, 2016
|My Struggle with Personal Relationship and How I Solved It- 2016 CA Essay
5 - Yankun, whether it is the problem prompt or the failure prompt, your essay works for either common app discussion....
UndergraduateKevinG - Nov 28, 2016 / Holt - Nov 28, 2016
|Cuba Experience - PENN STATE ESSAY REVIEW
Undergraduatekaatgxx - Nov 21, 2016 / kaatgxx - Nov 28, 2016
|To get accepted into USC, one must _____________. (USC SUPPLEMENT)
4 - Thanks for the clarification. I believe that you still pursue some presentation about the organization that will help you...
Undergraduatethenickchin - Nov 28, 2016 / Holt - Nov 28, 2016
|Keeping Your Stomach and Heart Full
3 - While you do mention that joy starts in the kitchen, you end up discussing dinner as the main activity...
Undergraduateyjung17 - Nov 28, 2016 / Holt - Nov 28, 2016
|The Death of my Father. I become a self-sufficient, conscientious learner - Apply Texas Essay A
3 - @lizaboo72 Let me just say that I absolutely loved your essay. It truly shows how strong you are and...
Undergraduatelizaboo72 - Nov 27, 2016 / yjung17 - Nov 28, 2016
|'help others to get the ball rolling and self-perseverance' - Responding to an unfamiliar situation
3 - Albert, in order to understand why dealing with the seniors was an unfamiliar situation to you, the reviewer must...
UndergraduateOnlineBlueTurtle - Nov 27, 2016 / Holt - Nov 28, 2016
|As a Nigerian and also a black child, I stand as a symbol of Africa all over the world and my dream
4 - Habeeb, let's start with the opening paragraph. That is really not necessary as your second paragraph is stronger and...
Undergraduatehabeeb - Nov 27, 2016 / Holt - Nov 27, 2016
|Only Better - conquering something a thousand times larger than myself; Common App. Personal Essay
3 - @Holt, thank you so much for your comments. Your feedback definitely puts things into perspective, and I am willing...
Undergraduatermarquez - Nov 27, 2016 / rmarquez - Nov 27, 2016
|College application essay on how I will help enrich their community!
4 - Good foundation, but I think you would do well to expound on the programs and clubs that you plan...
Undergraduatebreslusarek - Nov 26, 2016 / rmarquez - Nov 27, 2016
|Doing something for the first time can be extremely intimidating... Describe an unfamiliar situation
4 - I think that what you have written would make a good introduction. You could use your rugby experience as...
Undergraduatejentyj - Nov 26, 2016 / rmarquez - Nov 27, 2016
|Describe your best experience working as a leader or working in a group or team (SHAD Valley 2017)
Undergraduatealex137911 - Nov 26, 2016 / alex137911 - Nov 26, 2016
|Describe your favorite academic subject and explain how it has influenced you.
4 - @ymcashehata After all, scientific discoveries are not made by parrots who refuse to question what their surroundings.... ...
Undergraduateymcashehata - Nov 7, 2016 / alex137911 - Nov 26, 2016
|Education is the first step in my life as an adult - Common app essay
4 - Fantastic ! Victoria, you have really come through with this essay. The idea behind how you transformed into an...
Undergraduateblueblue01 - Nov 25, 2016 / Holt - Nov 26, 2016
|'all the hard work made will be worth it' - UPenn's Writing Supplement
6 - @Holt I can't thank you enough for the advice! I'll start my new essay and I'll probably share it...
Undergraduatepoorwriterhelp - Nov 24, 2016 / poorwriterhelp - Nov 26, 2016
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