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|"The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery" unique qualities of NW
2 - I spoke with a professor while I was on a campus tour at Northwestern's Weinburg College of Arts (which...
Undergraduatekungfuli109 - Nov 9, 2011 / ckpckp1994 - Nov 12, 2011
|"Uniquely, Geeky" : Stanford Common App Essay
3 - "When I get college catalogues, they are representing smiling, plastic-esque Barbie and Ken teens that seemed to jump right...
UndergraduateXavier19 - Nov 6, 2011 / bleh1494 - Nov 11, 2011
|"Reach for the stars" - VCU page 87 of your autobiography
3 - Thanks for the advice! Yeah, I get where you're coming from. I was afraid of that. I'll try to...
Undergraduatenpatil - Nov 11, 2011 / npatil - Nov 11, 2011
|'proud to be a Dancer' - quality or experience you are proud of UC
2 - I think it's a great build up from the point where you mentioned bringing bits and pieces of the...
Undergraduatebrianaor - Nov 11, 2011 / Seresteiras - Nov 11, 2011
|'Unequivocal Happiness' - COLORADO COLLEGE: Why Do You Want to Attend?
3 - Thank you so much for your comments, they are all EXACTLY what I was thinking as the turbulent parts...
Undergraduateschmilau000 - Nov 10, 2011 / schmilau000 - Nov 11, 2011
|"I lead a busy life, but I make time to run." MIT App Essay
3 - The sentence "I love..." appears many times. I think that it's intentional, but I don't find that method effective....
Undergraduatezepxan - Oct 15, 2011 / noal - Nov 11, 2011
|'living a carefree life, refusing to adapt to changes' Richmond leaving comfort zone
2 - For some people the definition of a comfort zone is their house, home-town, family or friends. I am still...
UndergraduateKseniya_Vi - Nov 10, 2011 / brianaor - Nov 11, 2011
|'From Mexico to the US' - Dreams and aspirations UC Essay
5 - I consider my father poor, in that, he lacks a certain amount of material possessions and money, yet for...
Undergraduatebrianaor - Nov 10, 2011 / nehasiyer - Nov 11, 2011
|Finding the one through a match maker- How did you first learn about St. Bona
6 - Excellent introduction, it really draws attention to your essay. Thirty-five, that's how many possible matches I had. ...
UndergraduateDMA17 - Sep 24, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 10, 2011
|'Modeling and life experience is critical as well' - college essay-common app
2 - There areT wo specific areas in my life that have both impacted and taught me valuable lessons. In...
Undergraduatehaileeebobailee - Nov 10, 2011 / voldymentor - Nov 10, 2011
|'benefit from the experience' unique characteristics do I posses to contribute to UCF
3 - Thank you :)!...
Undergraduatealipicon - Nov 8, 2011 / alipicon - Nov 10, 2011
|"The Ultimate Question"- Commonapp personal essay
2 - Good job, nice writing! A few suggestions: These questions have teased men for centuries. I am no exception....
Undergraduatealexanderlegend - Nov 10, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 10, 2011
|'Striving to become better' - Personal Quality (Competition)
Undergraduatekylekazee - Nov 8, 2011 / Guest - Nov 10, 2011
|'some animals are more equal than others' - ApplyTexas: Topic B
2 - This troubling statistic does not coincide with the beliefs that this country was founded upon. To avoid our...
Undergraduatenick3194 - Nov 9, 2011 / EF_Susan - Nov 10, 2011
|Tulane personal Statement Essay- My experience in dance
2 - Great opening paragraph!! My dedication and persistence have helped me overcome my moments of discouragement. My mom...
UndergraduateCecile - Nov 9, 2011 / EF_Susan - Nov 10, 2011
|'cooking helps me create' - common app extra curricular
Undergraduatewilliams01 - Nov 9, 2011 / EF_Team - Nov 10, 2011
|Common App-"YMCA Ballet Instructor provides help for young girl" Hamilton College
2 - You do a nice job describing the subject of your story. Your feelings and challenges are laid out well...
Undergraduateemily7897546 - Nov 8, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 10, 2011
|Very active @ Houston Community Club; TRANSFER to UT Austin / SOP
2 - Here are some places where you will probably find all the advice and encouragement you need to write a...
UndergraduateAJqureshi - Nov 8, 2011 / EF_Susan - Nov 10, 2011
|My heritage, my world (UC Prompt 1) & Making people smile is my talent (UC Prompt 2)
2 - Essay 1) You do an excellent job stating your short-term and long-term goals. It is great that you have...
Undergraduatekyasariin - Nov 8, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 10, 2011
|Marketing + 'My mother and I' - UC Personal Statements
2 - Uniqueness is one of the essential elements in gaining the attention of others. I am a creative person...
Undergraduatege1992113 - Nov 7, 2011 / EF_Susan - Nov 10, 2011
|My autistic sister - majored in unafraid
Undergraduatesarahadams - Nov 10, 2011 / Anuar KZ - Nov 10, 2011
|'Being the architect of my education' - Brown Short Question
3 - It asks "Why does it appeal to you?" not "How can Brown help you achieve this?".I thought I'd give...
UndergraduateJessH - Nov 7, 2011 / JessH - Nov 10, 2011
|Rutgers-Diversity, Culture, Talents and Skills- Guyanese & Haitian, HOSA member....
3 - There are so many different types of people in this world, and getting to know the diverse cultures and...
Undergraduateayannagrad2012 - Nov 5, 2011 / EF_Susan - Nov 10, 2011
|'completed the training in nursing' - Personal medical statement
2 - I've completed the training in nursing. It is not enough for me to know nursing care without the...
Undergraduatewendywing - Nov 6, 2011 / EF_Susan - Nov 10, 2011
|'MatheMe' - application-personal essay
4 - "This essay is about a line with just one point." ...Delete this. You should never directly say what your...
Undergraduaterishavkarki - Nov 9, 2011 / morr_j23 - Nov 10, 2011
|Essay on why I am wanting to transfer (for a competitive application)
2 - "...but I didn't put any effort in schooling." Change the in to "into" "Perhaps to my benefit, I...
Undergraduate1st2fall - Nov 10, 2011 / morr_j23 - Nov 10, 2011
|Joining the Tutoring Club-Personal Statement (Competition), Yale (A "Hideous" Jacket)
5 - Hate to basically repeat what Ashlyxx said, but I think she has the right idea. Maybe you could...
Undergraduateiabas - Nov 1, 2011 / 1st2fall - Nov 10, 2011
|'mechanical engineering course' - department or program at MIT appeals to you
9 - Ok...and u are in high-school,right? Colud i know your exams' results? (and TOEFL if u've taken?)...
UndergraduateMIT2016 - Nov 7, 2011 / Ferqan - Nov 10, 2011
|Common app about exchange year in Japan
2 - I don't know. The essays seems to be a travel story and does not convey anything on your personal...
UndergraduateSeirin - Nov 8, 2011 / MIT2016 - Nov 10, 2011
|'My dad was coming for me - Family experience; What Lies Behind the Curtain
2 - You should keep the first three paragraphs, you had me gripped I wanted to keep reading to see where...
Undergraduateaznramyunboi - Nov 8, 2011 / lilmizzlj - Nov 10, 2011
|'Success Is Certain' - Higher Reflective Essay on my experience at school
NEW - I have written a reflective essay it had to be between 900-1200 words which I have done. Just looking...
Undergraduatelilmizzlj - Nov 10, 2011 / — -
|Nurse responses to issues of social justice -how to approach this essay topic-im lost
Undergraduatedanny411 - Nov 7, 2011 / danny411 - Nov 10, 2011
|Macaulay Essay: Ethical Dilemma- "Last Shot"
2 - "This is what we've been practicing for. All those drills, all that preparation, for this moment. It's all or...
Undergraduateineedhelpplease - Nov 9, 2011 / voldymentor - Nov 9, 2011
|'to complete the cycle' Washington University Summer Program for High School Students
Undergraduatevoldymentor - Nov 9, 2011 / — -
|College essay "How did you learn about NJIT and why are you applying for admission?"
NEW - Please read my essay and feel free to make all the needed corrections ASAP because i need it for...
Undergraduatepmayoub - Nov 9, 2011 / — -
|"Growing Up in a Travel Trailer" - Common App Essay for Wash U in St. Louis
2 - I really like your first sentenece, but it does not match with the rest of your essay, since what...
Undergraduatenippycan - Nov 8, 2011 / Cecile - Nov 9, 2011
|'As a mother in home' - The Person I Admire Most
2 - *as a mother at home *add "and" after unconditional love and patience try to find other words for admire...
UndergraduateFarinaz - Nov 9, 2011 / Cecile - Nov 9, 2011
|'proud of martial arts' - personal quality and talent, promt 2
2 - I always wanted to copy their cool moves and become martial art artists like them (to the cool moves...
Undergraduatedarthvader195 - Nov 9, 2011 / angilaupreti - Nov 9, 2011
|'His name was William' - Common App Essay
4 - That first paragraph is truly terrific. The details about William's eyes are magical. It makes me want to keep...
Undergraduateeagles05 - Nov 7, 2011 / nippycan - Nov 8, 2011
|'a world where learning will always be priority' UC prompt #1
Undergraduatelwgtrrn - Nov 6, 2011 / TuKhuyen - Nov 8, 2011
|'Diving on the Great Barrier Reef' - Common App Essay
3 - It's great.Maybe it would be better if the passage could be divided into different paragraphs? So that the whole...
Undergraduatemamccabe - Oct 30, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Nov 8, 2011
|'the same world as many Latinos' - UC Essay Prompt 1
2 - Nice job! This essay really works. A few things: People always hear the same stories about how Latinos...
Undergraduatebearpaw - Nov 7, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 8, 2011
|"Where I'm going, and Who I want to be" - Common App Essay Topic of my Choice
3 - Good work!~ I think maybe you could use more description to show your thinking, show how your experience...
UndergraduateMalJack93 - Nov 2, 2011 / ChihiroLavi - Nov 8, 2011
|'Depression' - Issue of Importance- TEXAS A&M TOPIC B
2 - How can depression affect a person's everyday life? (besides saying the generic) Depression takes a toll on people...
Undergraduatealexmb - Nov 6, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 8, 2011
|'Experience with performance' - Macaulay Essay on risk
2 - Fantastic story! Your essay is very well-written and easy to read. I think many people can relate to your...
UndergraduateAllegra - Nov 6, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 8, 2011
|'Racism. Violence. Crime. AIDS.' - Common App
UndergraduateGuest - Nov 8, 2011 / Seirin - Nov 8, 2011
|'co-educational school'+'a classy but modest restaurant' Barnard Supplement
NEW - I need as much feedback as possible regarding these essays. Also quick question, is it appropriate to use an...
UndergraduateGuest - Nov 8, 2011 / — -
|'lived in thin wooden walls on a mountain' - common app essay
2 - I definitely like your topic, I found it interesting. But yes like you said yourself this essay really needs...
Undergraduatenaomiyeahnaomi - Nov 4, 2011 / Guest - Nov 8, 2011
|'I fashioned some moves of my own' - UC essay prompt#1
UndergraduatePurpleBear - Nov 7, 2011 / karthik21 - Nov 8, 2011
|"I Came, I Spoke, I Conquered" UC Prompt #2 essay
NEW - Public speaking has always been a challenge for me. Dancing and singing on stage poses no threat but when...
UndergraduatePurpleBear - Nov 8, 2011 / — -
|'it was a traumautic event' - about quality, talent, person
NEW - Prompt 2: Tell us about a persona; quality, talent, acomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What...
UndergraduateRaRaRudy - Nov 8, 2011 / — -
|"You can't do it." - Stanford Supplement What Matters to You
Undergraduatelisa6394 - Nov 6, 2011 / karthik21 - Nov 7, 2011
|'Inhale. Exhale.' - personal statement
NEW - Inhale. Exhale. Strength, power, and determination were filing up the room from the tall dark man's energy. The...
Undergraduateorangee10 - Nov 7, 2011 / — -
|'As a young Asian American' world you come from and how it shaped the person you are
2 - As I grew, I did not become the traditional by-product of who my parents were intending to create through...
Undergraduatejavabomb - Nov 6, 2011 / Jennyflower81 - Nov 7, 2011
|"Parents Shaping My Future" -UC Prompt
UndergraduateBlahBlahBlah - Nov 5, 2011 / BlahBlahBlah - Nov 7, 2011
|'to draw more teens to the library' - Common App Short Answer - Reading
Undergraduatesweetsk609 - Nov 6, 2011 / sweetsk609 - Nov 7, 2011
|'Education, the great equalizer of society' - Texas, Texas A&M, Issue of Importance
NEW - Please don't beat around the bush if you see any glaring mistakes in my writing, I need to know!!...
Undergraduatevinhstuh - Nov 7, 2011 / — -
|'appreciative for having Paula in my life' - (someone who has made an impact)
UndergraduateBgracia2 - Nov 6, 2011 / Bgracia2 - Nov 7, 2011
|Critique My Family Trip Essay Idea (UC App Prompt)
Undergraduatebaoom - Nov 7, 2011 / ge1992113 - Nov 7, 2011
|'while playing soccer in the mud' - Activity essay for Commonapp
2 - The imagery in the first line is good. And the essay has good direction I feel however that you...
UndergraduateCollegeBound12 - Nov 6, 2011 / jrciii - Nov 7, 2011
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