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|"You get out what you put in" - University of Michigan, Different Communities
4 - I think you need more examples from your own personal life. Talk more about how the Russian culture and...
UndergraduateGreg0825 - Oct 30, 2011 / sonya15 - Oct 30, 2011
|the "money saver" girl - Drexel application
5 - Thanks =) but other than the grammar...what do you think about the content? Is it too common? What should...
UndergraduateVivie93 - Oct 30, 2011 / Vivie93 - Oct 30, 2011
|'doing a favor for the school' - Help for Emory Supplement
3 - Ooh remember, Emory is not an IVY league. "I couldn't help but imagine the prospect of improving my...
Undergraduatecharisma369 - Oct 30, 2011 / sonya15 - Oct 30, 2011
|"Dance and the Body" - University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign
3 - I really like this essay because you talk about two such varied interests, but bring them together well. You...
Undergraduatemadtomato - Oct 30, 2011 / sonya15 - Oct 30, 2011
|A strong Christian base foundation- how family, culture, environment influenced you?
UndergraduateHazley23 - Oct 30, 2011 / — -
|'After that surgery' - VCU autobiography essay
Undergraduatenate581994 - Oct 28, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 30, 2011
|'I volunteered in a Christian Church' - Temple Application :: Personal Experience
2 - ... I was afraid to adapt to new conditions in an unfamiliar city, as it was very difficult to...
Undergraduatekitlau - Oct 28, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 30, 2011
|'Chasing the Answers' - Cornell supplement for CAS
3 - run-on sentence: we would look up into the night sky and gaze at those small, distant twinkling lights and...
UndergraduateNeonGhost - Oct 28, 2011 / AU0594 - Oct 30, 2011
|Life After the Aha Moment - admissions for Pratt
Undergraduatevon_dee - Oct 28, 2011 / AU0594 - Oct 30, 2011
|Skiing Essay - Topic of Choice for Common App?
Undergraduatekellyletsgo - Oct 28, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 30, 2011
|'The duality of ideas' - Stanford Supplement Essays
Undergraduatedumdeedumdeedoo - Oct 26, 2011 / dumdeedumdeedoo - Oct 30, 2011
|"My trip to the museum" University of Virginia supplement- Early Action help
Undergraduatecalvin - Oct 27, 2011 / calvin - Oct 30, 2011
|"My Struggle, to overcome my fear" - UF application
5 - Thank you! It's funny because I sent the essay to one of my teacher's and she isn't available to...
Undergraduate93haider - Oct 19, 2011 / 93haider - Oct 30, 2011
|'Business Management/Administration program I am looking for' - reasons for transfer
Undergraduatezenumber1brat - Oct 27, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 30, 2011
|'..until I graduated secondary school in Canada' - reason for transferring
2 - I was without any ambition or objective in life until I graduated secondary school in Canada. So I...
Undergraduateykr1018 - Oct 27, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 30, 2011
|'I had most things done for me' - GWU - What influenced you to apply
5 - Then you answered the prompt nicely. Yeah, I'll read the other one, but where do I find it? Also,...
Undergraduateggurl3 - Oct 27, 2011 / dumdeedumdeedoo - Oct 30, 2011
|"Watching the sun rise from Mount Fuji" Common App
4 - While the topic is great and is quality writing, this is not what colleges are looking for. Don't use...
Undergraduatecalvin - Oct 27, 2011 / rifatmursalin - Oct 30, 2011
|'knowledge and self-discovery' - UPenn supplement
Undergraduatemereserenity - Oct 30, 2011 / mereserenity - Oct 30, 2011
|'we returned her home' - UChicago Essay
Undergraduatematildamay - Oct 30, 2011 / matildamay - Oct 30, 2011
|'a chance to animate around the world' - Rutgers University is a vibrant community
3 - Rutgers University is widely known for its vibrant background and culture. While living in different countries of the world,...
Undergraduateaakas_h - Oct 30, 2011 / aakas_h - Oct 30, 2011
|'the Student Government Organization' - Georgetown Early Action Short Response
Undergraduatejoeservidio - Oct 30, 2011 / mereserenity - Oct 30, 2011
|Short Essay- "Time management has been the hardest skill to learn"
5 - My head suddenly jolted backwards as I felt a heavy kick next to my legs. Might clear this one...
Undergraduatesushilife - Oct 29, 2011 / Podolski - Oct 30, 2011
|'extremely goal-oriented' - Why transfer, objectives hope to achieve
3 - "I have always thought of myself as extremely goal-oriented" try to make it more interesting & captivating rather than...
Undergraduateolaxty1 - Oct 27, 2011 / mereserenity - Oct 30, 2011
|WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR (a girl not content with herself)
Undergraduatecollege_bound17 - Oct 30, 2011 / matildamay - Oct 30, 2011
|'tutoring sciences and mathematics' - Extracurricular short answer
4 - Thank you so much both of you. Anything helps. There is a reason why i said sciences and mathematics....
Undergraduatebrunogdiaz - Oct 30, 2011 / brunogdiaz - Oct 30, 2011
|'yet to meet people from another culture' - common app
UndergraduateGuest - Oct 27, 2011 / Guest - Oct 30, 2011
|'going the extra distance' - Short answer - cross country
4 - I love going the extra distance. This characteristic has been ingrained in me as a result of my involvement...
Undergraduatejellybelly - Oct 27, 2011 / dolligirl1300 - Oct 30, 2011
|'population/theatre scene/foods' -Why NYU? 'Les Miserables by Victor Hugo'-Intriguing
3 - I've seen other schools that offer to design your own major, liberal arts specifically. So be more specific in...
Undergraduatekdelaney - Oct 25, 2011 / missmex - Oct 30, 2011
|'family originated in Mexico' How I can contribute to the diversity of the University
2 - That's good because you can then write about how you maintained your cultural roots but also accepted American Culture....
UndergraduateAlyMarSan - Oct 27, 2011 / ujax - Oct 29, 2011
|"How I Came to Learn Myself" - Common Application Essay
4 - Too many separations of paragraphs? More centralized idea and the first sentences need to be improved. First sentences=first impression...
Undergraduatep12ehoffman - Oct 29, 2011 / polk540 - Oct 29, 2011
|'Breathe in through the nose' - common app essay for Vanderbilt ED
2 - It's very personal and memorable.. But, it is too wordy and sometimes, a little too detailed. I know you...
Undergraduateforeverhopping - Oct 27, 2011 / rifatmursalin - Oct 29, 2011
|'Progressive Equestrian Therapeutic Services' - UVA - favorite place to get lost
Undergraduatedenofthieves - Oct 29, 2011 / denofthieves - Oct 29, 2011
|'notable alumnus' - FIT fashion design major essay
Undergraduatedodpop - Oct 27, 2011 / dumdeedumdeedoo - Oct 29, 2011
|'the dexterity of my uncle's game-play - My common app
Undergraduatetherealhummus - Oct 29, 2011 / therealhummus - Oct 29, 2011
|Northwestern statement-Academics, diversity,and extracurricular
2 - You use the word "great" which could be easily replaced by something better. Your first paragraph is redundant; I...
Undergraduatewaymondzhou - Oct 29, 2011 / therealhummus - Oct 29, 2011
|'The Blank Sheet of Paper' - about Extracurricular Activities
4 - EDits of the Common Application. I still need help with the concluding the paragraph. Im currently at 950 characters...
UndergraduateJoel2012 - Oct 27, 2011 / Joel2012 - Oct 29, 2011
|"Introducing Me" - UPenn Supplement Essay (Optional)
3 - Thanks for the critique! I just revised it to read: "I've been known to drift; go through different...
Undergraduatep12ehoffman - Oct 29, 2011 / p12ehoffman - Oct 29, 2011
|'love of reading' - U.Penn supplement
4 - I think the content is very good, and that your response flows nicely as a whole. The only recommendation...
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Oct 28, 2011 / p12ehoffman - Oct 29, 2011
|"UPenn: My Ideal Match" - UPenn Supplement Essay
2 - I'm also applying to UPenn and i thought your essay was overall good, but I think that you didn't...
Undergraduatep12ehoffman - Oct 29, 2011 / therealhummus - Oct 29, 2011
|'In failure, I find success' - Introduce yourself to Penn
2 - I think that what you have going here is concise and powerful. A UPenn applicant myself, I am familiar...
Undergraduate754changsteph - Oct 28, 2011 / p12ehoffman - Oct 29, 2011
|Why Penn?--interest in psychology, being a tutor
2 - I also did this one, and it is difficult to make interesting. (I am applying to Wharton). Yes, lose...
Undergraduatecherrybomb94 - Oct 29, 2011 / SueHeck - Oct 29, 2011
|'the day we become silent about things that matter' - Penn Supplement
Undergraduatedisaznboii19148 - Oct 23, 2011 / SueHeck - Oct 29, 2011
|'GBP to bond with others' UGA Essay
NEW - Hello everyone! I have two short essays for University of Georgia. The application deadline is on the 31st...
Undergraduaterifatmursalin - Oct 29, 2011 / — -
|STANFORD ESSAYS: PARALLEL UNIVERSES AND LETTER TO ROOMMATE
5 - You should really know that the athletics teams are the Stanford "cardinal", as in the color, rather than "cardinals"....
Undergraduatewillowstevens - Oct 27, 2011 / theduncinator - Oct 29, 2011
|'Dramatic Story - Introduce yourself' - NYU tisch dramatic essay
Undergraduatejzakko - Oct 29, 2011 / jzakko - Oct 29, 2011
|Common App -Character Influence-Introduction-"ODD ONES"
2 - I think this has the potential to be a very interesting essay. I would deffinitely continue it. Just be...
UndergraduatePrimeTime309 - Oct 29, 2011 / pandaana - Oct 29, 2011
|MIT "World You Come From" - Rural India
UndergraduateJasu - Oct 29, 2011 / Podolski - Oct 29, 2011
|'a phone call from my BRACE advisor' - University of Florida Undergrad - Leadership
Undergraduatesmithchaz - Oct 27, 2011 / sarahadams - Oct 29, 2011
|'you'll be my first' - Stanford Supplement B. - Dear Roommate
5 - Thankyou for the input! I'm revising it this weekend so I'll try to post the newly revised one sometime...
UndergraduateKymberlyAlexis - Oct 27, 2011 / KymberlyAlexis - Oct 29, 2011
|"You make happiness with your own hands"-UW Madison- academic goals and circumstances
4 - Good essay, but in the last paragraph you randomly capitalized business in school of business--probably just a careless error....
Undergraduatechelsos - Oct 28, 2011 / cherrybomb94 - Oct 29, 2011
|'The decision to study art' - "describe myself" for an essay
Undergraduatetria - Oct 27, 2011 / thanhomenh_nq99 - Oct 29, 2011
|Intellectional development / Roommate / What matters to me
UndergraduateZez - Oct 26, 2011 / AussieTechie - Oct 29, 2011
|'Wisdom is knowing how to use knowledge' -PEARL ESSAY
Undergraduateemrr98 - Oct 26, 2011 / AU0594 - Oct 29, 2011
|"Building a shed and building a future"---Essay Response to Why I'm transferring
Undergraduatefess86 - Oct 21, 2011 / fess86 - Oct 28, 2011
|'a very strong interest in the Law' - College of Arts and Sciences
Undergraduatesexililkadie - Oct 26, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Oct 28, 2011
|Engineering: MIT - Which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why?
Undergraduatekesontag - Oct 28, 2011 / Dimitris - Oct 28, 2011
|'After I got the rejection letter' - Stanford re-applicants Essay
2 - I think that maybe you should shorten the beginning a bit...talk about your devastation, but maybe don't dwell so...
UndergraduateDimitris - Oct 28, 2011 / 754changsteph - Oct 28, 2011
|'Artificial intelligence' - Standford - Experience important to my development
4 - It seems I didnt understand the instructions completely. I rewrote the whole thing to reflect the what and why...
Undergraduatelistix - Oct 27, 2011 / listix - Oct 28, 2011
|"I Can't Tell My Parents What I do on Saturday Nights"- CA personal statement
Undergraduateseahawks506 - Oct 28, 2011 / seahawks506 - Oct 28, 2011
|'Observing my mom's hard work and dedication' - Impactful person ADMISSIONS
2 - These are just a few grammatical things I found. Be sure to use spelling/grammar check! :) We were...
UndergraduateMILLIE631 - Oct 26, 2011 / kesontag - Oct 28, 2011
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